Face down in a mud puddle (Floating Away Reviews)

[lichenthroat]

Balance Lost—I don’t think you need the Alvin-and-the-Chipmunks vocal or keyboard or whatever that is, but the rest of this is very good. I love the chorus. I like the dreamy, looping melody. Vote.

Balmark Productions—The intro is very funny and is executed well. I like this as a comedy record. The vocal tone on the spoken word parts is spot-on. The song isn’t all that interesting, but I know that’s kind of the point.

Brown Word and the Big Whine—This has a 90s riot grrrl-esque charm. I think the drums could be a little more interesting, but the rest of the instruments contribute effectively to the atmosphere that you’re going for. If I listened to this over and over, I suspect that I would either grow to love or hate it, but I’m not sure which. For now, though, I like it. Vote.

Cannibal Parrot—I mostly like this, but it’s hard for it to stand out without a vocal. The piano melody is nice.

Deadnettlez—You are absolutely welcome to join my punk rock label. I’m don’t know that I’d want to listen to this a lot, but I’m impressed that it was possible to make it.

gizo—Simply a pleasant song. I’d rather substitute this for about 75% of the songs that I hear, in any context. The instrumental tones seem perfectly chosen for your melody and style. Vote.

Hot Pink Halo—This feels like it needs to burst out of its shell somehow. The whole song kind of feels like a first verse. Maybe consider adding a lower-pitched, sustaining instrument in the chorus.

Ken’s Super Duper Band ’n Stuff—The guitar rhythm is great. The vocal seems a little too tightly controlled, like you’re coming to a stop at the end of each word. That’s a small complaint thought, and I like this a lot, especially the bridge. Vote.

Lichen Throat (me)—I thought my song last week was among the best I’ve ever recorded, but this is one of the worst. I was originally going for a punk sound, but I couldn’t sing it right at all; my vocal sounded like Frosty the Snowman. Nothing I did seemed to make it any better. Eventually I just tried to make it as weird as possible. I’ll do better next time. I hope.

Philthadelphia Cthollins—This sounds like Pink Floyd preforming a song from The Who, or maybe the other way around. If someone had described this to me, I would expect to dislike it, but it has an indescribable appeal. I’m not sure what you’re doing that makes this good, but it is. Vote.

Phlebia—I think you win the trophy for “floatiest” song of the Floating Away fight. Quietly epic. I think the vocal could have started sooner, perhaps. This is another song that works despite my not understanding why. Vote.

Robyn Mackenzie—I’d love to hear this as an indie rock song, rather than electropop. And I’d like some rhythmic variation in the chorus. Otherwise, I really like this. The songwriting is good, as is your vocal. Thumbs up. Nice and dreamy. Vote.

shrts—This sounds pretty good. I do wish it was longer, but that would violate the shrts credo.

Sober—Thank you for demonstrating that country music doesn’t have to suck. This reminds me of a band called Drag the River, which was a bunch of erstwhile punkers recording country. Your vocal has a little edge of raggedness that is just perfect for this. Lyrics are interesting, too. My favorite of the fight. Vote.

Sweeney Toad—A very Y2K sound on this…nice touch. I feel like I should like this more than I do. Nothing seems wrong with it, but I never quite get in the groove.

[lichenthroat]

Lichen Throat:
Am I correct in thinking that your process is composing on a musical staff and then outputting the different parts to midi instruments, then singing over the top of that? Do you do stuff with a midi keyboard or anything, or is it all generated in the computer from musescore? This track feels super frenetic, and if I'm correct in my thoughts on how you make your musical decisions, I think that process is part of what's contributing to that feel. I'd be really interested to hear you experiment with different building blocks from time to time. Songs like this one sound like your main goal is to just fit everything in, and it makes me want reach in there somehow and just pull a bunch of stuff out after the vocal is done and either just get rid of parts or replace them with something more minimal to see what would happen.

You are correct about my usual process. I typically compose on a staff in MuseScore, then export to my DAW for vocal recording and instrument effects. I occasionally use a little midi keyboard, but not on this song. I really hate this song, so I think your suggestions would probably be beneficial. I know that I sometimes have a tendency to write a song that sounds good as an instrumental, then add a vocal, which results in busyness and melodic conflict. In this case, I was trying to stretch my style, but it turned out to be a failed experiment.

[Sober]

Out of town, so my reviews will be a day or two late

[SweeneyToad]

gizo - chill mid 90's alternative vibe to this one. i dig it. i think it reminds me of marcy's playground a little bit. oh this song is about dropping acid, it's reminding me of the 90's even more so now. good stuff, got my vote!

brown word - another 90's vibe kind of song. feels like this would be in a kevin smith movie soundtrack, probably mallrats. this also reminds me of a song that would have been on one of those dgc rarities cds in the 90's. does anyone remember those? i enjoyed this, got my vote.

sweeney toad - this is the fastest i've ever made a song i'm pretty sure. yep.

shrts - i like the singing style you got going on, if this was like 30 seconds longer it would have got my vote.

hot pink halo - the kick sounds like the preset on fl studio, i always use it to get a sample beat going and then i always change it because i don't really like it. with that said, i like everything else about this song. i like the all the other instrument choices and they all sound really nice together, once they all come together i don't even notice the preset kick. i like the and you ran and ran and you ran chorus, it's catchy and has a nice little background vocal that sounds nice with it too. this is probably my favorite song of yours i've heard so far, vote!

balance lost - this is immediately made me think of a song that would be in the movie hackers. once the vocals come in it's a lot different than i was expecting. it kind of reminds me of the early stuff from a band called her space holiday, i used to really like that band so yeah, i really like this too. this is really good i think, definite vote.

cannibal parrot - ok i was wrong about the balance lost song, now THIS sounds like it would be in the movie hackers, or maybe a scene from the mortal kombat movie when liu kang is meditating on the beach. ok 2 mins in and it's changing up, now it reminds me of a montage scene from an 80's movie, probably a scene where some kid is sad at an arcade or something. he's really got to figure out how to get past this plot point, ok yeah he had an idea, an epiphany, he's walking home from the arcade confidently. he's going to go tell the girl how he feels about her or something. when he gets to her house she's there with her new boyfriend, they don't even see him standing in the street, he's devastated, he leaves, he's angry, he's ugly crying now, he's going to go figure out how to solve another plot point in the movie. he gets home and the music has changed up around 5:45 or so. he starts working out in his garage, his dog is licking his face while he's on the weight bench. he's crying again but laughing at the same time. synth solo kicks in and cuts to another scene of his dad selling cocaine, and doing cocaine. he hates his dad, but he loves his dog. you should score a movie soundtrack, that was epic, you got my vote.

Phlebia - I like the way you sing on this one, it sounds really good with the effects or reverb or whatever you used. i like what is happening with the song around the two minute mark. i think this reminds me of the band slint, i used to really like that band. yeah this is a really awesome song, might be one of my favorites of yours so far. definite vote.

sober - this is definitely well done but i really don't like this style of music, the only country style of music i've ever liked was johnny cash or maybe some dolly parton. these lyrics definitely resonated with me though, when i got my wisdom teeth out i was prescribed percocet and i really needed them to sleep because the pain was actually kind of awful, after 7 days when i ran out i wanted more so bad, even though the pain was gone, after a couple days the urge was gone and i never touched pain pills again. i can totally see how people can struggle with addiction to that stuff though. i like how your voice got pretty raspy at the end, that little imperfection worked really well i think and it just sounded cool. even though i don't particularly care for this style it still gets a vote, very well done.

philthi ctholin - this was ok, i like the 80's style synthiness to it but i really don't like the singing too much. no vote.

deadnettlez - this is pretty neat, the beatboxing reminds me very much of old bloodhound gang, i think it was one of the songs from the use your fingers album. you seem like a weird person and i dig that, i like weird artsy stuff like this. i don't want to rap battle you but if you ever want a guest verse on one of your weird beatbox songs i'd be down to for the challenge. anyways, this gets a vote because it was weird and interesting.

ken super - this is nice and catchy, seems like a trend with your music, it seems like your stuff is always pretty solid. i really like the concept of this song, it really struck some nice imagery of living in space in my head. living in a spaceship in anticipation of arriving on your new planet. this would make a cool music video for sure, vote!

lichen throat - weird beat happening style, are you the same person as wreckdom? this was ok but i didn't vote for it.

robyn - this reminds me of something that would be in the movie Go. I used to love that movie when i was a teenager and i used to listen the soundtrack all the time on cassette tape in my shitty lilttle honda while driving around. I feel like this song should be followed up with a fatboyslim song. You are a good singer and this song made me feel very nostalgic even though it wasn't actually in the movie for real. vote!

balmark - well this is not the fatboyslim follow up i was looking forward too. your voice acting is pretty decent and kind of funny but it kind of dragged on, it drags on in a way that i almost feel like you are an internet troll. the actual song just sounds like you are doing karaoke. oh good, the voice acting is back. what a stupid song, i'm leaving the studio, no vote.

[sleepysilverdoor]

Sweeney: it's reverse reverb with some tremolo on it!

[SweeneyToad]

Sweeney: it's reverse reverb with some tremolo on it!

it worked well, again, good song man!

[sleepysilverdoor]

Lol, better than the one I entered this week by a mile...

[SweeneyToad]

Lol, better than the one I entered this week by a mile...

well your lyrics are definitely interesting lol, looking forward to hearing that one

[Lunkhead]

Sober and Balance Lost tie!

[gizo]

Congratulations, kids!

Two lovely tracks, well done!

[Sober]

Neat, thanks. Reviews still forthcoming, promise!

[sleepysilverdoor]

An entirely deserved victory!

[Sober]

Sorry all for the late notes; spent half the week driving all over Texas to see family. Met my 5 month old niece for the first time!

I listened to the whole fight in the car right when these came out, and now I'm listening again on my mix headphones.


Balance Lost: Owl City feeling right out the gate. Dig the space you've built here. Levels are all solid, interesting stereo details on headphones. The pitch shifted motif is super fun. This is nearly Ben Gibbard levels of pop sensibility - your writing instincts are spot on. I do feel like the kick has disappeared. The bass sounds and feels great - get surgical with eq, or sidechain compress or something to allow the kick to punch through. Would also like an occasional long-decay boomy kick sound, but perhaps that would edge this toward a different genre, so maybe ignore that. Performance-wise, I think you're probably nailing the genre with your vocal, so I won't say anything there. Great way to kick off the fight, and I'm honored to share the win with you.

Balmark Productions: Hi. Welcome to Songfight. This isn't really the place for well-written and executed skits. It's sure as shit not the place for this garbage. This is unoriginal, unfunny, unskilled trash.

Brown Word and the Big Whine: Fun experimentation with weird chord progressions! I think this might be better suited by a heavier sound to the backing track, rather than what sounds like an acoustic run through some crunch? I want thick humbucker power chords. At times it sounds like the bass plays a note that doesn't quite agree with the rest of the track. Ooh, a simple production note that doesn't require you to actually change your sound: When you go from section to section, where you've clearly got a whole new section of guitar/bass/vocal takes, take an extra minute to crossfade everything at that moment. As it is, there's a notable gearshift (e.g. 2:09) that's unnatural sounding. Good to hear you trying different stuff.

Cannibal Parrot: Instrumentals aren't against the rules, but they're generally derided here for two reasons:

1. It's impossible to be sure an instrumental was written and recorded for the title
2. They're usually awful

No one part of this is awful per se, but submitting an uninteresting Stairway to Heaven-length instrumental into a songwriting community is pretty awful.

Deadnettlez: I'd written a bunch of notes assuming you were brand new to recording, and that this was your first songfight entry. I'll still give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not fucking with us, and have had better things to do since 2017 than work on your sound.

This is really bad, but I get the impression that you're not fucking with us. You have some interesting ideas here, and I appreciate the ambition to create an a capella 6/8 track. Real advice: Watch a ton of Youtube videos on basic recording/production. You don't need to buy a bunch of gear - something as simple as learning how to work with a click track would improve this more than a $2000 microphone. Add some smart mix techniques to that, and you could have a punchy, impressive sound that would be a welcome detour from the usual acoustic guitars and synths found here. Look forward to hearing you improve, but you gotta put in the work.

gizo: Intro way too long at 36 seconds; cut it in half. A lot of elements in this could use some very subtle room reverb to tie everything together. Maybe a little slapback delay on the vocal. Real Chris Isaak vibes - not saying you need that level of wet. Good vocal performance, some nice instrumental details in the transitions. Bass is nearly lost. Overall the mix is pretty flat and lifeless - a chill track doesn't have to have a chill mix. Good stuff, and welcome back!

Hot Pink Halo: I don't know what I can really say about this that isn't a repeat of my comments on your Mythical Creature. Pitchwise the vocal is all over the place. Technique-wise, there are issues like accentuating (or even creating) an "H" sound when moving pitch on a held vowel, as in your "sky" becoming "sky-hi-hi" followed be "to-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo." It feels natural to do this, but it sounds unnatural. Prosody is everywhere - odd syllables accented, and strange rhythms applied that don't seem to serve the melody or the story.

Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff: YES. The synth sits exactly where it needs to, as I wanted it to sit in your Shutdown. The synth sound gives me a VVVVVV feeling in my heart, and I thank you for that. Having listened to this several times now, my biggest complaint is that it sounds like you're consistently rushing the vocal. Sometimes it's just like 50ms, sometimes it's by more than that - and you're leading with stretched consonants in way that feels like you're singing karaoke to a song you don't know very well. Give me more takes! Low end could use some tightening for a little extra punch, but overall the mix is decent. Audible nose whistle on your inhale at 1:15 lol . Solid entry as usual, Ken.

Lichen Throat: Notes are basically the same as I gave to Hot Pink Halo. Pitch is more of a gesture than a target that is ever hit. Drum programming is too busy, and some less-than-optimal decisions made there. Mercifully short.

Philthadelphia Cthollins: Throw a super subtle room reverb on your drum bus to tie them together - your kick in particular sticks out unnaturally in the intro. The super thin guitar pick sound you have panned wide is a bit grating on headphones. Consider transposing or rewriting to better fit your vocal range; you never quite hit that G. Synth solo would be fine for 8 bars; not really at the level of virtuosity or interest to carry the tune. Liked the resolve to major at the end of it though, would have been nice to end the song there.

Phlebia: Really like how you lean into dissonant pre-suspensions through the changes. This reminds me of an old songfighter Abecedarian for whatever reason. Also reminds me of Climbing Up the Walls. You're nailing whatever this weird dronesmash genre is that you're going for, so I don't really have much in the way of productive notes. Good stuff.

Robyn Mackenzie: Little bit of Lorde, little Alanis Morisette. I appreciate the sparse arrangement, though part of me wants the track to move with you as you hit the chorus, etc. Harmonies mostly well executed, though I'd rethink some of the hard panning. If you're going to repeat the chorus, give us something different. AGH, you nearly gave it to us on the last one - I want to hear "take me back to those halcyon days" repeated underneath the descending harmony line as it comes down. You could loop that shit for another three minutes. Great debut entry, really looking forward to what else you can do.

shrts: Getting a bit of a Darkness vibe. Drum bus feels a little too far to the right, and I suppose one could get into micro details of the mix, but you know what you're about, and it's damn fun as always. y'all.

Sober: Autobiographical, ~95% true. Really went hard at a Tyler Childers sound here. New banjo - much harder to pick up than I expected. Neighbor did the fiddle, though I'll probably have him come back and try again. Still, overall quite happy with how it turned out. Jeremiah Weed is cheap, shit whiskey, btw.

Sweeney Toad: Probably the loudest track, so well done there. Would like a little more oomph from your delivery, and I think you could benefit from some subtle tube warmth on your voice. Hook isn't the hookiest. Skit intro and outtro I could do without, but I suppose that it's very y2k, so you get a pass. Solid songfight-level nerdcore as usual.

I suppose the fight overall isn't as awful as I thought on first listen. Then again, I skipped a few tracks on this runthrough. I voted for shrts, Balance Lost, and Robyn Mackenzie, and further kudos to gizo, Ken, and Phlebia.

[crumpart]

- odd syllables accented, and strange rhythms applied that don't seem to serve the melody or the story.

Honestly, trying to figure out where you’re coming from with this so I listened back to my track. There are no odd syllables accented as far as I can tell — I think what you’re hearing is my accent.

[Sober]

Yes I'm doing the annoying "respond to everyone" multi-quote, and yes it's more annoying as the fight's already over.

As a general response, thanks for the kind comments. I hope the reaction to my song makes folks think about how they feel about country music. Saying "I hate country" because you've only ever heard awful Nashville shit for the last 40 years is like saying you hate rock because you heard Nickelback - country is more diverse than you might think! What you probably hate is pop country, and I couldn't blame you for that because it's just vapid shit pop music with a southern accent

Sober: Right off the bat I knew I would dislike this because I'm a fan of neither country nor western music, and cos I'm an arsehole I listen to these songs mainly to pick holes in them. However, as I sat through this one I realised that not only was there not a single thing wrong with it, it might just be the best produced track I've ever heard on SF, but also it's full of admirable little flourishes and details that I intend to include on all my songs and then never get around to because of the looming deadline; for example, the little skips in the second verse. The different arrangement elements all come in at just the right moment, but without being predictable. It's just really impressively excecuted, everything sounds so clear and the effects are applied with subtlety, such as the delay on the rhythm guitar. The lyrics and melody are really strong too, crucially, I'm almost tempted to overlook my genre bias. It may not be for me, but either way very well done!

Being COVID-unemployed helps with being able to pour a lot of time into musical details and endless mix tweaks. I think my mixes are slowly getting better, but I certainly have a long way to go. Very much appreciate the comments.

Sober:
A couple of notes on lyrics before I get to the main points I want to make: I'm not a fan of the opening line of this song. It's very visceral, which in itself is not a bad thing, but I just don't want to hear about a neck being cut open as the opening line of any song, unless it's rephrased in a much more poetic way. If I was writing this, I might keep the line the same, but I'd bury it further in the verse, opening with the the details of the medication then moving into why it was prescribed. Second lyrical note: the chorus is really grammatically clunky. "If I had a single fewer thing worth living for" takes me right out every time I hear it.

[...]

When I have to focus on it, like listening here in Songfight, for example, I can appreciate the craft of it. Your song is performed and mixed really well, but I can also predict pretty much exactly where everything's going to arrive and land. At the end of the day we all make the music we personally enjoy, but I'd love to hear where you ended up if you pushed yourself to be a bit more experimental.

I'm very familiar with The Wild Rover, being a huge fan of Irish traditional and folk (I used to spam the boards with covers of Clancy & Makem tunes). As for the comments on lyric, it may just be the genre. The particular style of country that I'm going for is based on direct, conversational writing rather than obtuse poetry. I'm happy with the lyrics as they are. And what you call predictability I call good execution within the genre, but point taken. The archive is full of me "experimenting" over the last 17 years, and most of it is pretty bad.

Sober—Thank you for demonstrating that country music doesn’t have to suck. This reminds me of a band called Drag the River, which was a bunch of erstwhile punkers recording country. Your vocal has a little edge of raggedness that is just perfect for this. Lyrics are interesting, too. My favorite of the fight. Vote.

Thanks! I was once a little skatepunk, with studs and patches and a big blue mohawk. The "red dirt" genre of country is basically grunge kids who traded distorted guitars for acoustics as they got older.

[Sober]

- odd syllables accented, and strange rhythms applied that don't seem to serve the melody or the story.

Honestly, trying to figure out where you’re coming from with this so I listened back to my track. There are no odd syllables accented as far as I can tell — I think what you’re hearing is my accent.

I'm not gonna write out scansion for the whole song, but there are places where normally unstressed syllables receive stress, either by merit of the performance, by their falling on a strong beat, or by the melodic context. So, for example, in the second verse, you have:

You stretched across time
And left everything else behind
And it looked so easy like you were
Floating away

Those three stresses are stronger than any other stress in their lines. A native English speaker of any origin speaking these lines aloud would most likely stress:

You stretched across time
And left everything else behind
And it looked so easy like you were
Floating away

It's not necessarily bad to break the "rules" of conversational delivery in song. But it's a useful guideline. I broke this rule terribly in my Thanks for Coming way back in 2004 (at ~23 seconds in, "when the sun goes down I look around to find the bar empty"), and Jim of Seattle basically had this same exchange with me (I'd quote it here, but it was ~3 months before the boards migrated from dumbrella). That line actually breaks the rule in all three ways: performance, beat, and melody. So it's not something I could fix by just singing it a different way; I would have to rewrite the line completely for it to work. Your song has enough space that another vocal take would resolve it.

[crumpart]

- odd syllables accented, and strange rhythms applied that don't seem to serve the melody or the story.

Honestly, trying to figure out where you’re coming from with this so I listened back to my track. There are no odd syllables accented as far as I can tell — I think what you’re hearing is my accent.

I'm not gonna write out scansion for the whole song, but there are places where normally unstressed syllables receive stress, either by merit of the performance, by their falling on a strong beat, or by the melodic context. So, for example, in the second verse, you have:

You stretched across time
And left everything else behind
And it looked so easy like you were
Floating away

Those three stresses are stronger than any other stress in their lines. A native English speaker of any origin speaking these lines aloud would most likely stress:

You stretched across time
And left everything else behind
And it looked so easy like you were
Floating away

It's not necessarily bad to break the "rules" of conversational delivery in song. But it's a useful guideline. I broke this rule terribly in my Thanks for Coming way back in 2004 (at ~23 seconds in, "when the sun goes down I look around to find the bar empty"), and Jim of Seattle basically had this same exchange with me (I'd quote it here, but it was ~3 months before the boards migrated from dumbrella). That line actually breaks the rule in all three ways: performance, beat, and melody. So it's not something I could fix by just singing it a different way; I would have to rewrite the line completely for it to work. Your song has enough space that another vocal take would resolve it.

Oh god. The problem with that song of your isn’t the emphasis of “empty”, it’s the terrible fake Irish accent — that choice is where all the odd pronunciations and stresses are coming from in your song (the main culprit isn’t “empty”, it’s “Americ-ae”). I’m not Irish (I’d wager that I’m about as Irish as you are), but I do live here. There are a lot of different Irish accents and that is not one of them.

Most of those things you’re hearing as accidental or lazy mistakes in my song are, for me, deliberate choices to try and describe how I remember the particular emotion of a moment (Including the aspirated Hs this time around). Some of them are accent. I’m Australian, and that’s just how I emphasise the word “everything” (It’s slightly more elongated than if I was saying it in conversation, but it’s definitely how the stress falls in my accent). Others, such as the emphasis on the word “across”, are because I wanted to draw attention to that word. The importance in that line is “stretched across” in a word painting kind of way.

[Sober]

Lol ok. I can find you other examples of my music being terrible over the last 17 years if that'll make you feel better. My sucking then or now doesn't change the faults in your music.

You can claim that the imperfections in your music are intentional artistic choices, but if that's all you ever do, in 17 years you won't have improved at all.

[crumpart]

Lol ok. I can find you other examples of my music being terrible over the last 17 years if that'll make you feel better. My sucking then or now doesn't change the faults in your music.

You can claim that the imperfections in your music are intentional artistic choices, but if that's all you ever do, in 17 years you won't have improved at all.

I think you and I have very different approaches to both music listening and making. We’re interested in different things and that’s fine. I know what I’m good at and I know what I need to improve, and I will continue doing that a little at a time.

I started having a go at writing songs in August last year, not long after I picked up one of our guitars again for the first time in a long time. I’m a visual artist primarily. I’d been practicing flute and violin off and on by my own for a while, but really only started actively trying to progress with the violin a bit over a year ago.

Listening back to my first few songs, I have improved a lot since then. I’ve got better at guitar, I’ve got much better at violin, I’ve started learning bass, and I’ve moved from throwing shit at GarageBand that I’d recorded with a lapel mic and hoping for the best, to mixing in a much more focussed way using Logic (my husband has been making music for a long time, so I’m very lucky in terms of having access to stuff).

In that time, between Songfight and Nur Ein, I’ve only missed about three weeks of making something. Each week I give myself a challenge to try and focus on one thing to learn or improve. With this Floating Away song, my goal was to try and come up with a more complex and improvised melody than I normally make, starting with as little chord information laid down as possible, and I’m pretty happy with what I ended up with. With Please Scream Inside Your Heart, I wanted to improve my mixing by trying to gain stage my track properly, which I’ve not paid any attention to before at all. That’s how I personally learn best and get better. Make of it what you will.