In contrast to Niveous, I didn't want to post any reviews until I could post
all of them, so you lot had to wait until the wee hours of Friday, when you're hopefully more than halfway done with your Round 1 entries, before reading what I liked and didn't like about your Round 0 songs. Such is the way of the Nur Ein.
Overall thoughts? The challenge seems to have been more of a stumbling block than I anticipated. I know I told you all not to worry about it, and in keeping with that, I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, but I do think there were some entries whose approach to "Gradual emphasis of reptition" was weak, or was dubious, or went completely over my head. Oh well. Overall it's a pretty strong batch, and I've had several of my favorites stuck in my head for the last few days. Looking forward to hearing more from you all!
On with the show! Shine on, you crazy rhinestones!
Balance Lost - The vibrato synthline screams "Balance Lost" right off the bat. I also like how that synth lines changes each time it comes around, to keep interest. I like the bounce from the hi-hat pattern. The sixteenth-note synth pattern that comes in behind the chorus builds the momentum effectively. The mix and arrangement are both top-notch. "I'm not being funny / and you're not laughing" is a standout bit of lyricism. I also really like the organ part that shows up right at the very end, just when the listener thinks the song has already shown all its cards. I think the lyrics feel a little forced at some points, which keeps me from getting fully lost in this. I think your take on the challenge is that built-up delay/background vocal in the coda, right? It's a bit of a weak take, but it's fine. This is on the upper edge of the middle tier.
Berkeley Social Scene - This is from the point of view of Buffalo Bill's captive in
Silence of the Lambs, right? (Edited after the fact to say: Ohhh, it's Bill's
dog. Feel free to disregard the nitpicks that follow here, sorry I didn't get that.) Okay, so I haven't watched that movie in like 20 years and I've never read the book, but I feel like this isn't quite how I remember it. "He treats me like I'm only semiprecious." I feel like the killer treated that person much worse than semiprecious... But on the other hand I've already spent more than enough words nitpicking this point, so let's move on. Your band always sounds really tight, at least in terms of being in the pocket, but I wonder if this one would have benefitted from some more energy. A little bit more tempo, some more dynamic range, that kind of thing. Certainly there's enough drama in the story you're telling to justify that. As usual, I love your drums, the recording and performance are both top-notch. The guitar work here also shines, and the understated keyboard in the background is just enough extra texture. I admit, I didn't catch how this song addressed the challenge. I'm sure it's in there, but since I didn't get it by myself, I can't help but feel like it's a missed opportunity, covering a character who's driven by obsession. Repetition can be a great technique for exploring the theme of obsession. Maybe it was just too subtle. It's round 0, so I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt anyway, but I'd appreciate an explanation if you could.
Boffo Yux Dudes - Your songs sound cleaner every time I listen. Your harmonies are working well here, but your lyrics scan poorly. "You SHINE like A dark JOO-ell, danger-OUS but still subLIME." You've got to hear how awkward that is when you're singing it, right? I apprecaite the creativity of taking the "semi" part of "Semiprecious" literally with "Half of what you say," "half the time," etc. The call-and-response harmonies fulfill the challenge, more or less, but I don't know that it adds much to the song that isn't already there. They remind me a little of XTC, which I know you'll take for the compliment it is.
Brown Word and the Big Whine - There's a lot to like here! The grungy guitar over a country twang, the catchy melody, the way it feels just about to fall apart at any moment without ever losing control. I like how, in spite of all the fuzz, the country side of the songwriting can assert itself through some canny vocal choices and one II-V-I resolution at the end of the chorus. I'm not sure if these were conscious choices or just really sharp musical instincts, but either way, it hangs together very well! I like the specificity of the lyrics, too, naming different semiprecious stones, and "You took up a loupe and declared my value." And that ending works really well! If I'd had more time and/or hadn't gotten sick during the judging period, this might have risen more in my ranks. My main complaints are that I don't think your implementation of the challenge actually adds much to the song, and I think that pizzacatto string sound you're using doesn't suit the genre or vibe you're going for. It was nice to see this get some love in the rankings, though, including getting one judge's #1 spot.
Budget Bears - You've got one of the clearest-cut implementations of the challenge. I've heard it said your first line needs to have a huge impact, and this one fits the bill. Very good work with the drums - that's a VST, right? The performance sounds very natural, especially on those fills. I appreciate that your vocals don't let lost as the dynamics of the song change. I wonder if maybe the "semi semi semi semi" section doesn't run maybe one or two measures too long? I guess you were leaning into the challenge. Overall this was a fun listen and veyr pleasant. I've got few negative comments.
Cavedwellers - I dig the groove on this one right away. When the vocals start, I lose the thread a little. The singing isn't bad, and the imagery in the lyrics is good, but it feels like maybe you're trying to fit some complicated ideas into short lines. "Timeless style, flash that smile with the cameras clicking" lacks a little of the impact of punchy lines like the ones in your chorus. I'm not sure I agree with the decision to change singers for the bridge - is Glennny playing a different character in the song? It sounds like he's expressing the same point of view in that section. Also, Glennny's voice doesn't sit as well in the mix as Truth's. Your take on the challenge is (ugh, forgive the pun) rock-solid. The more times I listened, the more that chime bugged me; maybe if it had been saved for just the end it would have reserved more impact? Anyway, really good effort.
Crown Shy - Through the first verse, I was thinking to myself, "This one's going to be the winner, isn't it?" Such a confident opening! The plucky arpeggiated synth, the confident soft vocal, that absolute sucker punch of a first line "Do you tell her that she's dying?" - Wow-whee, did you set the bar high for yourself! I anticipated the guitars coming in for the chorus, and it was incredibly satisfying when they did. But, unfortunately, your mix lost its footing a bit after that point - I think maybe your voice and either the guitar or the supplemental synth sounds you added at the same time are fighting for some frequency ranges? I had a really difficult time making out your vocals from the first chorus all the way through the reptition of the first verse at the end of the song, and you lost some points for that. If you're open to mixing advice (and I get it if maybe I'm not the person you want get mixing advice from, lol), I think the guitar in this arrangement is serving as kind of texture, or subtle emphasis to make the choruses sound bigger, so it doesn't need to stand out that much. You could lower the guitar's overall volume, probably by quite a bit, and I suspect it would improve the overall impression. More than just making the guitar quieter, however, maybe use a visual EQ to locate your voice's fundamental frequency, and give the guitar a cut in that freqency range - if you're feeling ambitious you could even automate the frequency so that it only cuts when you're singing. I suggest trying the same with the extra synths added in the chorus and second verse. Maybe that'd be too conspicuous, I don't know. Worth trying, though! I still had you in my top five, so keep it up and I can't wait to hear what else you bring this year!
Ever Kenievel - God, is the review fatigue setting in already? Or do I just really like this song? This was one of my favorites of the round. Great groove, I like the fuzzy bass, great buildup throughout the song, really catchy sing-along-able chorus... I like how you keep the keyboards in the background just doing their thing, chilling in the background. There's some conspicuous pitch correction on the lead vocal throughout; it's possible that you did this intentionally as a style choice, but that's one thing I'd suggest changing. I really like what you've got going on, though, so just keep it up!
Frankie and the Mountweasels - {beleagured sigh} ...All right. This review is going to come off much meaner than any other review I've written this week. I'm sorry for that, but I know that you can take it. You've been doing this as long as I have, we've met in person, and let's not forget that you won Nur Ein during a year when I was a judge, so you know I don't dislike you or your music in general. So let's get on with this review of your stupid, stupid, mind-bogglingly
stupid song. I get that you were reaching a unique lyrical approach, one that would stand out among a field of 25-or-so other songs with the same title. And singing about your precious semi (trailer) isn't a terrible backdoor approach to the lyric, although you kind of had to bend over backward to make it work lyrically... But I would say this doesn't meet the challenge, because instead of a "gradual emphasis of a repetition," you went with "beat us over the head with a reptition starting from the first chorus and don't let up." I get that some of your choices were made in service of a title and challenge combination that I suspect failed to inspire you, and you probably wouldn't have done them otherwise, but honestly, I found the way you repeated "Semi precious" ad nauseum
so grating it made me want to skip the rest.
Governing Dynamics - Very moody vibe right from the start. You're great with laying and mixing guitars, and this is an angle on that approach that I don't think I've heard much from you before. I generally think of you as more hard-rocking, louder and bombastic. Anyway, I like your elliptical lyrics. "Been there / scorned that" is a highlight. I did want to draw your attention to the line in the chorus: "You don't not care / But you don't care much." I get, intellectually, what you're going for with this line, but it trips me up when trying to sing along. Your take on the challenge is kind of checking a box - you did it, but I don't know that it adds to the song or that it took you in a direction you weren't already going. That's fine, you still made it pretty high in my ranks, but I encourage you to think of ways that future challenges can be incorporated more into the bedrock of your song's concept.
Grumpy Mike - DISQUALIFIED because you didn't post your lyrics. Just kidding; the last thing I'd want is to upset you so much that you name a podcast after the incident.
![Razz :-P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
All right, down to brass tacks. Fortunately, the mix is clean, so I didn't have much trouble understanding your vocals. Your take on the challenge is one of the more interesting of the round, because lyrically, you're talking about how physical goods accrue value by being separated into parts, and your use of "piece by piece," making the phrase itself piecemeal, works neatly within that concept. I'll admit, this might be the only song of the whole round that made me want more when it was over. On the one hand, you
should leave your audience wanting more, but on the other hand, it feels a little incomplete, like maybe you just ran out of time. What's here works well, but I'd prefer if some of the lyrics were less on-the-nose. "I'm an entrepreneur," "I'm a pawnbroker," etc., all seemed like first-draft lines, like you could get to your REAL point without the introductions.
Heid - Your voice is beautiful here, hitting every note while still projecting vulnerability. I like how your chorus builds up and reflects the anxiety your character feels. All your lyrics scan perfectly with the melody as you sing it, which makes it sound perfectly natural, and probably made it easier to nail that vocal performance too, right? Other entrants, take note! I like how, though the acoustic guitar remains constant in the arrangment, other instruments come and go to build and maintain interest. I smiled when the melodica appeared, and then the delay synth, the same sound that my old Casio called "Crystal Drop," which was quite fitting if you happen to know that name for the sound. One bit of advice, though? When you're adding instruments for emphasis, it can be really tempting to get excited about how a new one sounds and then mix it too high because you want people to notice it. Here I think that manifested in the melodica being a little too loud; it can be much lower in the mix and still serve the same purpose. That didn't hurt you much in the ranking, though; you were my favorite of the week. Keep it up, and I can't wait to hear what you do next!
Hot Pink Halo - It's really astounding to me how much your singing and mixing have improved in the year I've been listening to your songs. I think the voice still gets lost from time to time in this mix, but overall it's pretty strong. There was something in the higher frequency that bothered me when I was listening on my car speakers, but not in my headphones or studio monitors, oddly. I think it was that strummy electric guitar. One thing I really like about this song is how you allow yourself to really FEEL the vocal performance while you sing it. You're hitting the notes, but also acting out the part in equal measure, and I find that kind of intensity contagious. The extra layer of vocals over the ending is icing on the cake. Man, looking over my rankings, I'm sorry I didn't have you higher!
Lichen Throat - There are some aspects of the "Lichen Throat" that I'm pretty sure arise from limitations with how you make your tracks, but I've had to just embrace them as "What Lichen Throat sounds like." The eighth note guitar stabs sound unnatural, but you're not going for "natural," are you? It sounds messy, but I bet more people would be able to read it as a stylistic choice if you could get your vocals tighter. I can hear the melody you're going for on this one, but you spend most of the song drifting around that melody without landing on the right spot, and that keeps you out of consideration, unfortunately. I apprecaite how you split the difference between Carav-- er, I mean, "Frankie and the Mountweasels"'s deliberate mis-parsing of the title, and the actual meaning of "Semiprecious," contriving your narrative to fit both definitions. A good idea held back by struggling performance.
The Lowest Bitter - That long intro built up a little mystery, but in the end it didn't have much to do with the rest of the song. You have a really serious topic, but I don't think the musical tone of your song or vocal performance properly conveys that emotional core. You're singing about the human cost, helplessness, and suffering of a mining industry! You're singing about people who work and die for barely-subsistence wages! So why doesn't that come through in the music? I feel like there should be palpable anger, or despair, or something other than synth bounce and a sing-song downward lilt in your hook. It's actually pretty clever to use the title "Semiprecious" to draw a connection between the stone and the treatment of the people mining it, but I don't think the song serves that message.
Lucky Spoon - Look, I'll be honest with you. I've had a rough week. My dog got sick, then
I got sick. I got better eventually; my dog was diagnosed with diabetes. And the whole time my day job was piling up tasks to anxiety-inducing highs. All of which is to say, who knows? Maybe on a different week I would have been more receptive to this! But where I'm at right now, I just can't with this. It's cutesy and earnest and endearing and I took an immediate dislike to it. I couldn't help but cringe at the last word of almost every line. To your credit - you have what might be the most effective use of the challenge. Your repetition of the word "poop" doesn't just meet the challenge, but also contributes to the emotional core of the song - this dawning realization of the downsides of these fluffy animals that you're still pretty sure you love. But god, all the cutesy language and overwrought delivery sweeps away all the goodwill this challenge implementation earned you. "A boony" rhymed with "opportun-y"? "Hoped to see some binkies"? I just can't get on board. Sorry, try as I might, I just could not meet you at your level this week.
Mandibles - Ohh, look at Mr. Big Shot here, who can get a house all the way to
half full! I don't think I heard where the challenge was met... I hear a couple of things that might have been intended as the challenge, but they're all a bit weak, in my opinion. Anyway, I'll just have to give you the benefit of the doubt. I really like the guitar work in this song, but the songwriter-focused lyrics are kind of a turn-off for me, and they're pretty mean-spirited, too. I suppose that's not a flaw (no pun intended) in and of itself, but it begs the question: who's the narrator of this song, so be so mean to the "you" here? Is this one of those songs where the "you" is actually yourself, and you're just beating yourself up for not being special? Or are you taking the place of someone else in this person's life criticising them for being too "precious" about their music? I also think the running time is too long for what the song is doing. I'd have considered cutting one of the pre-choruses that doesn't lead into a chorus, and possibly an entire verse. Get to the guitar parts and that huge ending a little bit quicker!
Max Bombast - You didn't do a video diary for this one? (Edited after the fact to add: Hey, I found the video!) In an earlier review I mentioned how the challenge of gradual repetition could be an avenue to explore obsession, and here you've done that really well! The guitars are extra-crisp here and the drums are exemplary in both performance and mix, as I tend to expect from you. Something about that image of polishing a stone until you've worn it away just sticks with me. Yeah, this is another song I regret not ranking higher. It's short and sweet and everything about it works. Top tier of the round.
Moss Palace - One thing I've said about Moss Palace/Merisan songs in the past is that I usually feel like Erin's voice is a little restrained. You're really skilled at writing to the voice you have, but for me, your songs have
usually succeeded in proportion to how well the song serves Erin's vocal style. Well, that's out the window today - this vocal performance is an all-out belter, and a really successful trip outside your comfort zone! I also dig the accents on the guitar work, especially the little stabs in the end. These lyrics are bitter and angry; the vocal sells that emotional core. I like the way the contradictions scan in the second verse. I admit that this is one of those songs where the challenge implementation was either lost on me or pretty weak, so I think you lost a couple ranks due to that.
Nick Soma - Right off the bat, your vocal isn't sitting well in this mix, which is making it hard for me to make out the lyrics. I do appreciate the moody toms, but I think they're crowding out the baritone fundamental of your voice. I think your song serves as a very interesting contrast to Lowest Bitter's song. His entry has this deep emotional core in the lyrics that the music wasn't working to bring out. Your song is absolutely
dripping with mood and emotion, but the lyrics aren't really gripping me. Your character is obsessed with these stones and singing about them, but I never really found a reason to connect with these lyrics. What does it mean for this person that he's so obsessed? Is he being kept from the thing he loves? Is his obsession keeping him from other loves or goals? What does it mean for this person to be so obsessed with these stones? You only have so many words to get and hold our attention, and you spend a ton of them just naming the stones; maybe redirect some of that energy into convincing us it matters.
see-man-ski - Your vocals and arrangements have come such a long way in the last year. I love hearing your layered guitars in this track! Remember what I was saying about the piano in your "Never Odd Or Even?" This is the opposite example; a song where a lower-quality VST is just fine, because the piano is taking a back seat and serving mostly as texture. It's mixed appropriately low for that purpose. Possibly my favorite part of this song is when the band drops out for the word "freely," which emphasizes a bit of wordplay that I think I would otherwise have missed. The vocal delivery on that word also helps the trick work. I like the use of the challenge, repeated attempts to be heard. Just a great entry all around. You're one to look out for this year.
The Serviettes - Your voice can't seem to find the melody. I'm not crazy about these lyrics and the "meta" aspect of walking up to a cliche and then cheekily acknowledging it as a cliche. Not much else to say on this one, sorry.
Third Cat - I struggled with hearing the verse vocals on this song; it sounded like you mumbled your way through the verses and/or just mixed your voice too low for whatever reason. It's not as much of a problem when you raise your voice into the next octave up. I'd like to hear some different lyrics for that last verse instead of repeating the first verse. The idea in its present state is static; I'd like to see it develop. Have your character's feeling change or evolve over the course of the song; give us a feeling that something has occured or changed over the course of the song.
Virgo Power - The emotional core is here, but there's a lot more iteration left to do for you to figure out the arrangement and melody. Your vocal performance is halting, and I don't get the impression that it was a conscious performance choice. I'm also not wild about that omnichord tone, but I guess that's a personal preference on my part. You're playing mostly whole-note strums on it, but still managing to not quite land on the beat. If you do want to develop this idea a little more, consider what you might do with the long gaps between lines in the lyrics. I'm not sure that the current strategy of leaving them empty is helping much. You might increase the tempo to lessen the effect of those pauses, but I think maybe some instrumental ornamentation would help. Or maybe filling the gaps with some call-and-response backup vocals? Right now, I have this feeling of "Come ON, get to the next line already!" which probably isn't what you're going for.
Wombat! - I can actually hear your take on the challenge, I think. It's a little oblique, but I'm okay with that. I think I also hear a connection to the title, but I admit that's even more tenuous. Honestly, I just felt like this was all box and no present. It's a little mysterious, but there wasn't enough
there there, you know? Three of us had this song in dead last, so I was surprised to see you survive to round 1. I've heard you flex your creative musical muscle before, and I look forward to hearing it again. Now BRING IT.
WreckdoM - I think this is the song that Carav-- er, I mean Frankie and the Mountweasels was trying for. Definitely the best execution of the "Semi as in truck" interpretation of the title, but I just wasn't keen on any of them, to be honest. Your take is kind of Southern Culture on the Skids by way of Primus, and I like where your style's at, but the lyrics just felt like you were straining too hard to make it fit the title.