Tune in for the Darwin Awards (Natural Stupidity reviews)

[Pigfarmer Jr]

We all have a day where we just don't feel as sharp as usual. Like we're one knife short of a place setting. Like we're one ant short of a picnic. Want to feel better? Tune into the Darwin Awards and make yourself feel better. At least you're not as stupid as these people.

[Pigfarmer Jr]

If you write a lyric for the title then please place it here: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=12432

[fluffy]

Earlier today I had a moment of extreme dumbness which made me wish there was more time to get a song done, but I'm too dumb to come up with lyrics and melody by the time the fight is likely to actually go live.

(The outlets in my carport stopped working around a week ago. I did a whole Thing with trying to trace the problem with it, even opening my electrical panel and tracing all the wires, before I realized that the carport outlet HAS A GFI ON IT AND IT WAS TRIPPED, which I just didn't notice because one of the wallwarts on it is covering the fault light.)

[Lunkhead]

Songs posted!

[WreckdoMelle]

Small fight! Good luck everyone

[tonetripper]

Wreckdom - got me right in the jiggly foot

[Paco Del Stinko]

Quick remarks. Nothing I disliked but could rank them 1-5 if had to. Votes to top three.

Ellipsis - Modern and classic rock collide, wide stance. Gnarly lead section, nutso excellent. Attitude for a video game if needed. Loose enough to rock but not unfocused. Sounds great and drum parts are very well done. Air guitar!

Johnny Cashpoint - Wounded charm. Waits-ian elements work well here, love the fogged backing vocals. Easy melodies and a genuine, more as it goes, delivery. I hear ghosts of this after its over, not in a spooky manner, pleasant. Loose only where right.

Paco del Stinko - Right to the point Paco catalog number, not by design. Sometimes they just come out that way.

SynthiaLvr69 - Nice percolating catchy tune. Very well put together, easy melodies delivered nicely. Catchy, patient, but not dragged out. Bridge sections and out very, very nice. Grabbing. Right top the top.

WreckdoM - Disjointed and acid tv backed journey. Quick ride to Coo-Coo Town. Rubber, static, bit of fuzz but no slime. Whiff of neck nape.

[j$]

W.A.I.L. I swore off reviewing after last time but I hate to see an undervalued fight. And I can't help myself.

Ellipsis - I don't dislike it at all - I mean it's the sort of 90s maths rock meets 60s punk vibe that I realise is very popular round these parts and I would do every week if only I had the ability. It just feels like a b-side to me. Sorry about that. The words don't connect in any way in my brain apart from "will this do?" and I don't like THAT. Again sorry, I feel like that's unfair. You came first and I was hoping for something better from this title.

Johnny Cashpoint - Ah, I have this theory - when you REALLY like a Songfight title, DO NOT ENTER. This title absolutely lit my brain up, and I wrote the words in a stream of righteous anger, then came up with some really interesting chord shapes on the ukulele, put them all together and well, this came up. The words annoy me the most - as is my wont - the first two verses are bang on what I wanted to say, and then it kind of just drifts off somewhere nice but meaningless. Sorry about that - I won't try harder in the future.

Paco del Stinko - Where I would put this on the Paco Del Stinko Pyramid is C+ but then Mid-tier PdS still beats most other by-the-numbers punkers so have a VOTE.

SynthiaLvr69 - I quite like this one, reminds me of mid 80s OMD or China Crisis, not at the height of their powers but still able to knock out a catchy tune! I like the (synth?) bass - suitably squelchy! The only thing is I don't really pick up a connectionf from the lyric to the title, or rather I listen to the words for a bit and then drift back to the awesome bass sound, which is not quite a criticism; but not the praise it should be. Have a VOTE but only for the bass part.

WreckdoM- I can't quite figure out why I don't like this. It adds up to something else other than the 'classic' Wreckdom sound i rather unfairly expect every time i listen to you. The sample is fine but seeing as I don't recognise it's Hugh Laurie-esque source, whcih just leaves me witht he rather half-hearted, lacking-in-energy backing vocals as a reference point. I guess that's it - it all strangly feels slightly off-kilter and lacking in drive. EDIT: Also forgot to say this earlier but listening again, I feel it's important - the drums seem slightly off, in a way i can't put my finger on, which gives it an overall lurching sensation which may have been your aim but I can't admit to liking. Does that make any sense. Probably not!

So my takeaway is that Deep Throat (via Spud) screwed us with a title of very specific genius and none of those who entered could see a way to tap into its singular vision. Just my opinion, which should count for nowt.

j$

[Paco Del Stinko]

J$: Thanks for reviewing, it was pretty dry in there. Also, had to look up nowt, so thanks for that as well. Although I'm probably unlikely to use it 'round here.

[mo]

Paco: this would’ve been right at home on a college radio station in the mid 90s. I would’ve liked a little more strategic backing vocals to create some builds and tension. Especially in the “prechorus” and “chorus” type sections. Or maybe not BVs, some other element perhaps, horns? Anyway BVs are usually a great way to hook people in is all I’m saying.

WreckdoM: I have not seen a bear up close, only at a distance. I once was asked to preproduce an adventure reality show that wanted to travel to the North Pole, so I was talking to experts in arctic expeditions and they were like, oh yeah polar bears are super fucking fast, if you see one, it’s too late, you’re dead. Anyway that’s what this reminded me of.

j$: This tune has a certain charm to it, lo-fi outsider aesthetic. I would look at high passing the vocals a little more, I don’t love the slight mud in the low end of them, or maybe you just could try backing off the mic. Musically the main thing that would make an impact on the presentation is percussion, not necessarily through the whole thing, but like, here and there, would really create a sense of travel and movement, ebb and flow, as it comes and goes.

Synthialvr69: very clean sound. Kind of too clean and polite for my taste, but I’m also in the middle of a fuzz phase, so YMMV. This would also benefit from some more BVs ear candy, but I can’t really fault it otherwise besides that it’s kind of by the numbers IMO, like obvs very competent but nothing really grabbed me. The verse melody that goes from the G to the A really reminds me exactly of something very famous (esp. the “baby”) and I’m going to kick myself when I figure out what it is someday.

ellipsis: I probably will need to take out the yelled “away” and put something else in there bc it’s just kind of lame. This song was very hard for me to sing, which I assume is mostly because I’m kind of a shitty singer, but also because of the lack of consistent meter or rhyme scheme in the lyrics, I’m very envious of those of you who do it and make it sound smooth. My lyrics are inspired by the story of Elizabeth Koch and her complaining about the toughness of her life as a billionaire’s daughter, the tweeting about of which led me to this short story she got published in Guernica which is a great example of how prose poetry actually isn’t just something you can shit out.

[mo]

j$ yeah the lyrics are probably a little obscure if you don't have the story she wrote right in front of you to hate on hahahahaha

[Paco Del Stinko]

I would’ve liked a little more strategic backing vocals

I hear ya, mo. Thoae are usually a staple of mine, for better or worse. Pressed for time this round. Thanks for the comments, always appreciated!

[mo]

Well I voted for you so the song is still good!

[Paco Del Stinko]

Ha! And I you, sir. We're even!

[j$]

j$ yeah the lyrics are probably a little obscure if you don't have the story she wrote right in front of you to hate on hahahahaha

[OPINION EXPRESSION] There is a difference between 'hating on' and 'not disliking'. I'm not expecting or interested in being anywhere near beating you to the "victory" so don't patronise me; WRITE BETTER WORDS to explain to my level of stupidity as to what the F*CK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! Don't consider me an idiot just cos I couldn't give you a pass on what are in my opinion quite honestly uninteresting words. Too many prima-donnas in ths industry, right? [/END OF OPINION EXPRESSION,]

This is why I swore off doing reviews.

j$

[j$]

Ha! And I you, sir. We're even!

Get a room, gentlemen

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Don't consider me an idiot just cos I couldn't give you a pass on what are in my opinion quite honestly uninteresting words.

*reaches for the low hanging fruit*
If it's any consolation, that is definitely not the reason I think you're an idiot.

[mo]

j$ yeah the lyrics are probably a little obscure if you don't have the story she wrote right in front of you to hate on hahahahaha

[OPINION EXPRESSION] There is a difference between 'hating on' and 'not disliking'. I'm not expecting or interested in being anywhere near beating you to the "victory" so don't patronise me; WRITE BETTER WORDS to explain to my level of stupidity as to what the F*CK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! Don't consider me an idiot just cos I couldn't give you a pass on what are in my opinion quite honestly uninteresting words. Too many prima-donnas in ths industry, right? [/END OF OPINION EXPRESSION,]

This is why I swore off doing reviews.

j$

I’m extremely confused by this as I didn’t call you out or insult you. I was making a joke at my own expense about how my lyrics were not particularly transparent. Nobody called you stupid, nor did I consider you an idiot in my previous post. I’m fucking agreeing with your opinion about my lyrics, dude. So maybe take it down about 5000 notches.

[mo]

or is this a bit, going from the fight title? I can't even tell anymore

[j$]

Dear Mo

Many, many apologies. I completely misconstrued what you were saying and misreacted. Totally out of line and all I can do is beg forgiveness. This is why I shouldn't be allowed on the internet! Dismiss it as natural stupidity (natch) and please move forward, Ignore me at all times - it's the best way!

j$

[mo]

I've been informed this is just part and parcel of The j$ Experience that everyone eventually must go through

[mo]

Although it does raise a perhaps interesting question about how understandable do lyrics really need to be on say, first listen, and I think we do have different takes on that. Like, it doesn't really particularly bother me or sit as a consideration for me that people should be able to understand the lyrics right away so much as they should create a mood, and after that, sort of what happens, happens. Different for different types of songs of course, different genres and feels and what not, as well as just personal artistic choices. I seem to always tend to the indirect, and it's just what I like. I have a hard time writing lyrics that are more direct without feeling like I'm letting everyone know how fucking Velveeta cheesy I am, and that's my cross to bear. Good on you if you don't have that problem haha