ST20 Round 2 Challenge - 'May I Have a Word?'

[BoffoYux]

SpinTunes 20 Round 2 Challenge
The judges are hard at work finalizing their rankings and reviews for Round 1; in the meantime you get a head start on Round 2. Here's your challenge:

May I Have a Word?: Write and record a song with a one-word chorus; the word may be repeated as many times per chorus as you like, and you may have as many choruses as you like, but the word must be the same in each chorus. Your verses may include as many different words as you like.

Examples:
"Alleluia" by Dar Williams
"Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen
"Take, Take, Take" by The White Stripes
"Cruel" by St. Vincent
"The One I Love" by REM
"Tame" by Pixies

Submitting Entries:
Your entry must be received by Sunday, April 2, 2023 @ 11:59 PM EDT. Otherwise it'll be posted as a shadow. Received means that it has to appear in my e-mail inbox (spintunescontest@gmail.com) by the given deadline. I will be going by the time stamp on the e-mail. One minute late is too late.
You are allowed and encouraged to submit a draft of your song early just in case something horrible happens and you miss the deadline. Then you can add polish to your song and send in a better version closer to the deadline. The last version received prior to the deadline is your official entry.
Lyrics are mandatory. No instrumentals. Having no lyrics will get you disqualified.

SUBMITTING BY EMAIL: Send your file in a format that BandCamp accepts. (.wav or .flac) (at least 16-bit/44.1kHz) Do not send MP3s.
Name your file the song's title + your band name, without punctuation.
The subject line of the e-mail should identify the challenge and your band's name. Something like this would be fine: "ST20R2 - All the Robots".
Include the song lyrics in the body of the e-mail.
Include information on anyone that needs credited if you collaborated with someone.

ALTERNATE FILE SHARING OPTIONS: If your file is too big for an email attachment, you may email me a link to where I can download the song. The email still needs to land in my inbox by the deadline.
If you have a Bandcamp account you can just send me a link to your song if you include all the info I mentioned for emails. Info such as lyrics and song credits can be included in the email or on the song's Bandcamp page. Make sure you have it set as a free download, and have it set so that I don't have to put in an e-mail to download it if you pick this option.
You may also use a file sharing service such as DropBox, WeTransfer, Google Drive, etc. Include in the email any required information (such as lyrics) that you couldn't include in the file. Make sure I have permission to download the file, and please follow directions so your file doesn't wind up in my spam or trash folder accidentally.

SONG BIOS: In addition to lyrics and any necessary credits, you are welcome to include a "song bio", with any information you feel is useful. This could include your inspiration for the song, citations for any obscure references within the lyrics, an explanation of how your song met the challenge, etc. Some challenges may require you to supply certain info in your song bio. Since the judges are volunteers with lives outside of SpinTunes, song bios can help them zero in on aspects of the song you feel are important. However, if your song requires a multi-paragraph explanation in order to understand and appreciate it, this is probably a sign that it doesn't stand up well on its own, and its ranking may reflect that.

Side Notes:
You can send in an entry to SpinTunes 20 without competing. Just tell me it's a "Shadow Song". It will be played at the listening party, but won't be ranked and you might not receive feedback from the judges. Check the FAQ if you don't know what that means. You can even complete past challenges from previous contests. It's a nice way of playing along if you can't commit to the schedule or you just want to get your feet wet.
The only other way to get your music played at the listening party is to cover "Today's The Day" by Inverse T. Clown or "Right Again" by Mandibles.

[BoffoYux]

Updated info from Micah:

There has been some discussion both in the Discord and by email about interpretation of the Round 2 challenge.

Here's the challenge as it is worded on the blog:

May I Have a Word?: Write and record a song with a one-word chorus; the word may be repeated as many times per chorus as you like, and you may have as many choruses as you like, but the word must be the same in each chorus. Your verses may include as many different words as you like.

Here are some additional clarifications based on peoples' questions:

- Words that are spelled differently but pronounced the same (e.g. there/their/they're), or spelled the same but pronounced differently (e.g. wind/wind) are different words.
- Scat/nonsense syllables are not words, and are thus permitted in your chorus in addition to your one word, unless the lyrics of your verses prime the listener to hear them as words (e.g. "doo doo doo doo" in Katy Perry's "This Is How We Do")
- A word that is spelled out (e.g. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" in Otis Redding/Aretha Franklin's "Respect" or "B-A-N-A-N-A-S" in Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl") is considered one word.
- As always, the ultimate goal is not to be clever, it's to make a good song. You're welcome to try to get creative with your interpretation of the challenge... and the judges are welcome to rank you accordingly.

[CynicalMonkey]

There’s a spin tunes discord?

[MicahSommer]

There’s a spin tunes discord?

Yes. If you sign up for SpinTunes you get the invite via email.

[BoffoYux]

Listening Party on Monday 4/3 might be delayed until 10pm ish EST. I have a meeting of indeterminate length that evening for work.
Looking forward to hearing all the new tunes!


https://youtube.com/live/bx3hHD7otlc

[BoffoYux]

ST20.2 Listening Party and Deadline News

The Round 2 deadline has passed; congratulations to all who have submitted!

Two contestants failed to submit an official entry by the deadline; ordinarily this would result in reinstatement for the two shadow submitters who were ranked highest in Round 1. However, in Round 1 there were three entries tied for 33rd place, and all three submitted Round 2 shadows. Rather than decide which two of the three should be reinstated and which one should not, I have reinstated all three. Congratulations and welcome back to the competition, Yeslessness, Good Niche Gracious, and JW Hanberry!

Barring further ties, 18 contestants will move on to Round 3, so 15 contestants will be eliminated following the judges' rankings. The judges have already received all the Round 2 songs; your first chance to hear them is tonight at the Listening Party!

Tommy G will be playing this week's songs at 10 pm EDT, with an all-request preshow beginning earlier. Join us for the Listening Party on YouTube or in the embedded player below. If you join on YouTube, be sure to switch from "Top Chat" to "Live Chat" to get in on the full chat conversation as the music plays!

[CynicalMonkey]

When will the Bandcamp go live, longing to read the lyrics and notes

[crumpart]

When will the Bandcamp go live, longing to read the lyrics and notes

Micah's just waiting on the album cover artwork, which is a bit late coming in (Bandcamp insists that you put up cover art, which, tbh, I agree with...)

[BoffoYux]

Album is up!

https://spintunes.bandcamp.com/album/sp ... 20-round-2

[DutchWidows]

Some Round 2 reviews as I quite liked doing them for Round 1. Feels a bit lame when I didn’t get anything in that could be critiqued for this round, but thems the breaks I guess. Literally so in my case.

I’m still smarting from Micah calling out that I rhymed ‘midnight’ with ‘night’ in Round 1, not because he flagged it, but because I literally hadn’t noticed it till he mentioned it. What a doofus!

As before – apologies in advance for any bad takes. It’s all just opinion and probably a poor one.

My view overall is that a one word chorus challenge has led to some absolutely superb choruses. The standard is really high; kinda glad I dropped out!


Berni Armstrong: Top of the list two rounds in a row – you work fast! Solid song, nicely delivered. Including the chords with the lyrics is cool, and I really liked the fact that the ‘ee’ sound in ‘insomniac’ (‘in-som-nee-ack’) coincided with an E chord. Just pleased me.

The Pannacotta Army: This sounds great – a really polished song, without being overly so. The groove is just so slick in the best possible way - all the bits are doing what they need to do harmonically and rhythmically – and the chorus is nicely understated. The extra percussion (maybe a tambourine?) just gives it a lovely lift.

Yeslessness: Quite intrigued by the ‘feather’ and ‘white feather’ references, and how they tie into the rest of the lyric. Is it a significant reference? Musically, it’s nice with some really charming harmonies, but I wanted it to groove a little more. Maybe it’s the slightly staccato electric piano that follows the vocal rhythms throughout – I wanted that to cut loose a little more and groove with the drums, and be less tied to the vocal. It kinda does it a little on the first ‘white feather’ line and that felt like a good progression of the sound.

Bubba & The Ghost of the Kraken: Very relatable lyrics! The verses have a nice rhythmically driven feel to them. The only part of the vocal that didn’t work for me was the downward melody in the first pre-chorus – I don’t know if that was heading to the bottom of your range or if it was a breath thing, but it sounded a little strained to me, which coupled with the melodic trajectory robbed a little momentum. The second pre-chorus didn’t have the same feel and worked better as a result. OK, I’ve listened to both pre-choruses back to back a few times, and the difference for me is the word “our” in the second pre-chorus – it steps back up (melodically) into the chorus, whereas the first pre-chorus stays low. It may all have been a deliberate choice to give more impact to the stunning chorus, and it is stunning, but that was my take on it. The harmonic treatment and the vocal work really well together in the chorus.

chewmeupspitmeout: Pretty different from Round 1 – some in your face synthy / guitar noises going on here. The verses are lovely – your voice sits in the mix beautifully and I love the way you deliver the lines, particularly in the second half when the high synth comes in. The pre-chorus is disarming in the way the song takes a step back before jumping into the chorus. The chorus is melodically very strong – and I love the backing vocals - but I found the guitar in the left channel in the choruses slightly jarring – it felt to me like it was coming a smidge early, maybe? With everything I say, I’m aware that this may be deliberate choice, and it certainly gives a forward leaning momentum to the choruses.

Stacking Theory: I was baffled by the first part of what I thought were your lyrics, but maybe that was some kind of context or explanation..? It was a little lost on me, but I am a bear of little brain, so… This song is delightfully chilled, the chorus in particular is really nice - those falling backing vocals are superb. Not too much to say here – really enjoyed it.

Jeff Walker: This has such a good, well rounded archetypal sound. The slide sits so nicely in the mix and the melody on the chorus is gorgeous – such a lovely melancholy feel.

Daniel Sitler: This is fantastic – great lyrically and really nicely realised. The pre-chorus is fantastic – I love the melody and although I kinda wanted it to step up into the chorus and go a little full on, that is probably the more obvious and perhaps well-trodden path, and the much sparser chorus you chose is more interesting and engaging. My only notes are that I would have preferred the doubled/harmony vocals to be less forward in the mix when they’re used – the lead vocal has such great tone and cadence that I wanted it front and centre on its own – and there’s either a tiny fluff or timing issue on the guitar in the first chorus after the word ‘awkward’. Minor, minor quibbles though. This is great.

The Evil Genius formerly known as Timmy: This has the makings of an absolute disco-banger, but possibly needs a bit of remix to realise its full potential in that regard. The vocal sits too high in the mix for me and the beat and bass need to be more prominent to achieve that goal (which let’s face it, is my goal, and probably no-one else’s).

James Young: Really like the vocals on this – there’s some great idiosyncrasies in there, particularly at the end of words like ‘won’, ‘higher’ and the chorus ‘war’. I love that in a singer – words are there to be chewed up and spat out. The drums felt a bit on the nose throughout for me and they kinda drew my attention to the time signature too much. A bit of finesse on the drums and this would be a stand-out track for me.

Single Pint of Failure: This has a lovely narrative arc and the chorus is great – those backing vocals going in different directions are super-effective. The guitars throughout are really strong - the strummed acoustic and slightly tremulous electric chords is a real happy place for me, and the guitar part in the chorus is really nice. Really nice song-writing.

Tunes by LJ: Lovely – smooth and sweet. An atypical time signature done well – to me, the vocal delivery is so well done that the 5/4-ness of the song doesn’t feel odd, it just feels right. I had to count it out to make sure it was 5/4 as claimed. A great sound – the bass in particular is subtly great.

Balance Lost: The vocals are the star here for me, particularly the backing vocals and the breakdown section. Great guitar work on the left, though I wanted it more central and less panned, but I guess that choice kept it separate and distinct from the rest of the mix, which is totally fair.

Hot Pink Halo: The music here has a really nice bubbly feel to it, like water in a stream. The vocal got a bit lost in the mix in the verses to my ears – I wanted it a touch higher and more prominent. Fully accept that may be my ears though! In the choruses, the vocal’s spot on mix-wise – sitting in the mix in that way and using it in an almost instrumental way is just lovely. This is strong lyrically too - get your inspiration where you can!

Also In Blue: The start is lovely – those layered vocals sound great. The tuned percussion throughout has great energy and the changes in the patterns keep it interesting, though I did find myself wanting them to pull back at times in the faster parts; they’re delightfully subtle in the verses. The way the drums drop away for the chorus and the chorus vocal itself – particularly the first held note – are both sublime. Drums have plenty of dynamism to them – hi-hats are mixed a touch high for my tastes, but it’s a pretty minor quibble.

Jealous Brother: Nice, happy vibes on this. Backing vocals are really well done. I loved the way you delivered the title word – splitting it that way is a really effective way maximising its use.

Phlub: What a sad tale. This feels archetypal of the form, but you’ve got some neat deviations in there that subvert nicely – the most obvious is that rise in the chorus, accompanied by the faster picked notes on what I think is a banjo or mandolin. Lifts the whole thing really nicely. Got some great internal rhymes in the lyrics too.

Tenmere: I felt I should have tried harder with my thoughts on your R1 song, and for that I’m sorry. I have no hesitation on this one though – I freakin’ love it. The guitars sound huge, that riff in the chorus is superb and the melodic synth (?) in the chorus has a beautiful 80s feel. I can even forgive the double bass drum pedal work as it’s used really sparingly and just works. I loved it even more when I translated the lyrics.

The Popped Hearts: That main rhythm guitar has such a good sound to it – I love that it drives the song along. The guitar that comes in on the other side feels a bit hot in comparison and drowns the vocal a little. It kinda breaks down at the start of the bridge and falters slightly, which I presume was deliberate, but does feel a little messy to my ear. It very quickly gets back into its stride though. The use of the “Y”/”why” to start a sentence is a really neat touch.

Mandibles: This is nicely understated. Puts me in mind of All About Eve with the folky-ish backing to a strong vocal. The harmonies are very well done and everything sits really nicely in the mix. Not much to say about this - it’s a good song, done well.

Governing Dynamics: A really cool, nicely produced song. The choppy guitar part in the chorus is brilliant – I really dug that. Vocals throughout are really good. Governing Dynamics is the sound I want to have when I grow up and get better at this stuff.

Cavedwellers: Mankading not cricket? Hmm. A touch ungentlemanly perhaps, possibly even unsporting, but I’d argue that it stops encroaching down the wicket, which is cheating. Most bowlers give a warning or two, and if you keep creeping down the wicket after being warned, kinda think you deserve it. I presume you’ve heard The Duckworth Lewis Method, who released a couple of (really very good) cricket-themed albums? Very on theme of your ST20 entries. I like this song a lot – the fuzzy thing in the later choruses – guitar or synth or something else? – is really nice. Rhythm guitars sound great – got a lovely jangly edge to them. Vocals are spot on and lyrically, it’s about cricket – what’s not to love?

thanks, brain: Think you’ve nailed the sound you were aiming for! It’s got a bit of a 60s garage feel – bit Cramps-y - with cool cheesy horror stylings. The theremin sounding thing in the chorus (probably a theremin or theremin plug-in) seals the deal. It’s a really nice, well-balanced mix and the production is great. Really good.

JW Hanberry: Nice radio tuning sound to open, which then opens into quite a big beat, which I was not expecting, and I really like it. The vocal treatment’s awesome – it sits quite low in the mix, but it’s entirely comprehensible - it’s a great sound. Much simpler than your R1 song, and I think stronger for it, particularly in a competition context.

‘Buckethat’ Bobby Matheson: Vellichor is a cool word in and of itself, and now I’ve looked it up, I like it more. I’m glad there’s a word for that. The chorus vocal’s really good – that one long note is a real ear worm, and the spoken section’s really nice. I like the simplicity of the arrangement – guitar, bass and drums – it doesn’t need more, so why over-egg the pudding? Effective.

Brother Baker feat. Father: I like the structure – intro, verse 1, chorus, verse 2, intro again, chorus. At what point is an intro not an intro? Semantics on my part really, just liked the way it was set out. I like the intro – it’s got great space and the harmonies are nice. The chorus is really good – soaring voices, cool drum beat and the piano and guitars get kinda loose and groovy. I don’t know why, but the chorus puts me in mind of classic Western films. I think it may be the guitar – it sounds like a slightly spaghetti western-ish part. Works really well. The second verse feels slightly laboured compared to the first – I think it’s the guitar playing (what I think are) eighth notes. Feels a bit in your face. Well, in my face. Doesn’t detract overall though - that second intro, the second half of which leaps back up into the chorus, is great.

Good Niche Gracious: Another song with German in it. Cool! The music’s great – that high prominent synth part is excellent and sits beautifully with the rest. The percussive sound on the right – almost like a steel drum kinda sound – lovely. Vocals are great. Apart from the chorus, which I was less keen on. Not sure why – I think it was too cat-like and I get enough of that from my two cats, who are both morons. Triggering.

Sober: Love that guitar part – that walking bass part is super. Again, as with a couple of others this round, the song feels archetypal, but it’s subverted enough in the chord and melody choices to be totally engaging and avoid cliché. I’m not a big fan of the yodel-esque leaps – they feel a bit over used quite quickly given that the high notes don’t land, which I accept is probably deliberate, and itself not a problem, I quite like that roughness, but it’s too often for me. [EDIT: Listening again this morning, I think it's the bridge where it happens five times in two lines where I think it gets too much for me. The once per verse works well, but the bridge kinda reduces the impact of the verses.] The chorus however is hands down the best chorus in the round, and possibly one of my favourite choruses I’ve heard this year, SpinTunes or otherwise. I’m a sucker for that wordless keening stuff, and this is right up my strasse. Love the whistling too, which surprised me, as I’m not normally a fan of whistling, but this whistling totally works. If I could have a version of this with fewer yodel leaps, it would probably be my favourite song of the year.

The Alleviators: I like this a lot – vocals are gorgeous and the music’s great. Something in the way the bass drum and bass fit together in the first verse or first pre-chorus kinda threw me the first time I listened to this, but the second verse/pre-chorus sounded good, so I went back to listen to the first again straight away, and I have no idea what threw me first time. Ears are weird.

Siebass: I really like the vocal delivery – I’m a fan of vocals that mash the words a little and have a slightly unusual character and this has it in spades. The chorus is really good – there’s an urgency to it at the start, that kind of ebbs away in a pleasing way over the length of the word. The only note I have is that the song lacked a certain depth to the sound – it had a narrow-ish range of frequencies with little bottom end; everything was kinda in the middle. The orchestral instrumentation worked, so I’m not sure where more bottom end could be found. Other than that minor point, I liked it a lot!

Ironbark: A really pleasing, gentle song, and another where non-common time is used, but wears it lightly – just feels natural. Beautiful lyric too, well observed without bashing the listener over the head with sentiment. Lovely.

Jerkatorium: Feels like a SpinTunes theme song! A nice wry, meta take - the struggle is real. Nice instrumentation – feels like it would sit well in a SpinTunes musical – and the vocals are very nicely done.

Simon Purchase James: Nicely played with some lovely, sweet vocal melodies. At the risk of coming across like the Time Police, this just feels too long to me. I’m not a judge, so my opinion counts for zip, but this kinda feels twice as long as it needs to be.

Mandrake [SHADOW]: Some great sounds here; it’s very nicely put together, but way outside my compositional comprehension. All corvids are great though; the best and cleverest birds.

Daniel Sitler [SHADOW]: It would have pleased me, possibly more than anything else in this round, if there had been a cello in this.

Night Sky [SHADOW]: Some great stuff going on here – the brass in particular is really well done. No idea if that’s programmed or played, but it’s great.

[truth]

To Dutch Widows:

Thanks for your comments on the Mandibles and Cavedwellers entries. I agree that Mankading *with a warning* is fine. But it’s a crummy way to end a game and I still feel rotten for Charlie Dean. And the eponymous Duckworth Lewis Method record is SO SO GOOD. Gentlemen And Players is pretty much a perfect song IMO. Haven’t really gotten into their sophomore effort.

[DutchWidows]

To Dutch Widows:

Thanks for your comments on the Mandibles and Cavedwellers entries. I agree that Mankading *with a warning* is fine. But it’s a crummy way to end a game and I still feel rotten for Charlie Dean. And the eponymous Duckworth Lewis Method record is SO SO GOOD. Gentlemen And Players is pretty much a perfect song IMO. Haven’t really gotten into their sophomore effort.

Was that the game where Heather Knight accused the Indian team of lying about the warnings? I seem to recall it got pretty unpleasant pretty quickly; so much emotion around Mankading. The first DLM album is much better than the second, but the second is worth sticking with. Took me a while though...

[crumpart]

To Dutch Widows:

Thanks for your comments on the Mandibles and Cavedwellers entries. I agree that Mankading *with a warning* is fine. But it’s a crummy way to end a game and I still feel rotten for Charlie Dean. And the eponymous Duckworth Lewis Method record is SO SO GOOD. Gentlemen And Players is pretty much a perfect song IMO. Haven’t really gotten into their sophomore effort.

Truth, is it you bringing the cricket along after living in Australia (you lived in Australia right, or was it Ireland that you lived in? I can't remember.) Or is Glennny somehow getting into cricket in the USA?

[truth]

Truth, is it you bringing the cricket along after living in Australia (you lived in Australia right, or was it Ireland that you lived in? I can't remember.) Or is Glennny somehow getting into cricket in the USA?

In college, I stumbled on a game broadcast on a UHF station in the San Francisco Bay Area in the late 90’s, and I was confused and intrigued. After moving back home outside LA, unmoored from my social life and with too much time on my hands, I learned the game from the internet and from PPV matches on satellite TV. I found that rudimentary wickets and bats could be pretty easily made with stuff from the hardware store. At one point I had my extended family playing tape-ball in our city park.

First real in-person game I saw was Surrey vs. Notts in the intimate confines of Guildford. There, I learned to keep my feet outside the rope, as Mark Butcher almost took me out trying to prevent a boundary with his fingertips (athletic attempt but unsuccessful). I did live in Ireland, perfectly timed to see the magnificent last free-to-view Ashes tests on channel 4.

I expect Glennny to support San Francisco Unicorns and root for Liam Plunkett, who actually lives not too far away from me here outside Philadelphia. But then Glennny finds BASEBALL slow.

[sleepysilverdoor]

Reviews part 1: more to come when I get them done

Berni Armstrong - This song is entirely too relatable. Sleep is a good choice of word. Feels like almost every day I wish I could get a little bit more sleep. I don’t really like waking up but I have to. Waking up is hard to do. The descending repetition of sleep is very simple but it works, also gives it a mournful vibe with the harmonic minor. This song makes me want a nap, but I think that may be the power of suggestion. As for being an insomniac that wakes up too early, you would hate my cats.

Pannacotta Army - The chord progression is a simple two chord vamp that manages to stay interesting. I’m enthralled by any use of melodica, so the end was a nice touch. This kind of chilled out r’n’b backing is begging for a more dynamic vocal performance. I want this melody to soar at some point but it keeps on staying in this sort of vibey low energy state which…is cool but doesn’t quite match the song? Like this should be totally bumpin with that beat but it isn’t, y’know? Anyway, good take on the topic, “more/moar” was a good choice of word, and also bonus points for sampling the Jungle Book which was probably my favorite movie as kid. Which scene was that, anyway?

Yeslessness - It might be my headphones but the mix of this feels really boomy, like there’s too much low-end detail in the song. It’s most pronounced with your keyboard. Maybe a low pass on that would help a lot? At least it would be a good first step. I like this arrangement, and bittersweet is a nice word. I’m trying to follow exactly what the lyrics are referring to and it’s probably something obvious but the whole thing is a little bit vague for my liking. I still like all the talk of feathers and whatnot.

Bubba and the Ghost of the Kraken - Well this is relatable. There’s not a lot of focus on the “I couldn’t trust you” of the first bridge, and since the rest of the song is mostly just “i’m burnt out and want to just disappear somewhere hidden” for a bit, I’m not entirely sure WHO COULDN’T BE TRUSTED. Anyway, Hideaway is a great album by David Sanborn if you like smooth jazz. I really like the vocal harmonies during the chorus. That lovely shift upwards during the final chorus comes too late! Augh! Anyway, nice vibes here.

Chewmeupspitmeout - Vocals are a bit low in the mix and I’d like to hear a bit more dynamism on that vocal melody, it’s so slow and blah! Which is weird, cause the track itself is really peppy. I’d turn up the rhythm section a bit and make the whole track a little bit less dry…as it stands right now the whole thing feels kind of like I’m in a cave. But at the same time there’s a certain melancholy to your voice that fits the message, but like I’m at a nightclub so why are we so sedate? Not my favorite of your songs unfortunately. Not terrible just kind of …eh.

Stacking Theory - Dude where’s your first verse? You have an entire first verse in your lyric sheet that’s just not in the song at all! I can’t complain though my lyric sheet has some non-existent dams in it. Is this about having a medical exam done? (edit, I read your discord post…yes) I hate having medical exams done. At the same time the piece of mind is nice to have once you’re done. Vocals and overall *vibe* are terrific. I will say the “yeah” in the second verse (the real second verse) seems a little bit forced, but all in all this was a pleasant listen and tickled my eardrums nicely.

Jeff Walker - This reminds me of Springsteen at moments. This seems like a war song, though it’s a bit nebulous as to which war we’re writing about. Lots of them, I reckon. Unforgivable is a great chorus word. And the slide guitar work here is fantastic. I really wanna hear an “UNFORGIVABLE” where you go up an octave and really make it unforgettable. Transition into the solo is a little abrupt, I want something to build up to it cause right now it’s just like “oh hey guitar solo time”. Gimme more oomph, cause I like what you’re working with.

Daniel Sitler - Well this is a sweet story of confusing love. The layering of the vocal harmonies is really nice. The bridge is probably the place where this song shines the best. I don’t really care a whole lot for the chorus, not because it’s a bad chorus, but because it just…doesn’t grab me. There’s a dynamism there for the bridge that grabs me. I think my issue is the same that I have with a lot of these other songs which is that I get kind of bored with melodies that spend almost all their time hanging around 3 notes. But I love that bridge, that’s a terrific bridge. Production is nice and I like how the acoustic guitar mirrors that two note “awkward” melody.

The Evil Genius Formerly Known As Timmy - Well, middle school girls definitely overshare. I don’t entirely understand how the rest of the lyrics really vibe with that first introduction, what are we forgetting? I forget! Anyway, I definitely can relate to that middle school crush where you have no idea whatever happened to them. When I transferred to my middle school there was Whitney. We went to the fair once and rode in the paddleboats. I never saw her again. I don’t know if she smoked camels though and she wasn’t exactly an outcast. Anyway, the chorus was nice and had an uplifting melody.

James Young - This reminds me a lot of a triple time version of Wicked Game until the chorus. I think it’s the chord progression. Lyrics are nice and world-weary and the vocals are well executed and the one word chorus is spiffy. Would be nice to have your drum programming switch things up a bit more. A fill now and then would really aid the humanization of the groove. Third verse is really well executed!

The Single Pint of Failure - Gizo part 2! And a bit more of a downer than gizo part 1. Chords remind me of a slowed down Boys Don’t Cry. But it’s okay to cry when you’re worried about your sweetie. Alone is a good word choice. I don’t know what all there is to criticize about this. Maybe a smidge less pitch correction? All in all more good sad beach music.

Tunes By LJ - The vocals sound really muffled! This is a nice chord progression, just too boomy in the mix. The bass in the chorus is great, and this is a good choice of word. Nice musings on the transience of wealth. Very sedate. Some of the best melodic sensibilities I’ve come across so far, you aren’t shy about moving your melody all over the scale and that’s lovely!

Balance Lost - Do you get bonus points for titling your song a word that’s also in your band name? I was puzzled about the Dylan line at first. You know, I’ve tried on several occasions to get into Bob Dylan and I just can’t do it. I don’t know what it is. This is catchy and has a nice mellow groove. I’ll refer back to by SPoF review and say that this also reminds me of the Cure, but in this case it’s their Wish-era. I know band comparisons aren’t helpful at all in reviews. I can relate to this. It’s nice to stare out the window and just hang out inside your own head.


Hot Pink Halo - One of my favorite choruses of the round, and that little descending keyboard line towards the end of it is great. There’s something about the way the vocals are sitting in the mix that seems like it’s doing the song a disservice, like I’d bring them up just a little bit. Not a lot, just a little. Or maybe it’s the eq’ing. The “pulled through the undertow” bit is pretty good. Relatable topic and great word. And did I mentioned I really like that descending keyboard line?

Also In Blue - Well since you mentioned your drum mixing choices, the snare really pops. If I had to offer drum mixing advice I’d say trim just a little bit of the treble off of that high hat. Or maybe just turn the hi hat down a smidge and turn the snare drum up a little bit. Lyrics are a bit opaque but they work and please is a good word to go with. I would say it’s…pleasing. This doesn’t really remind me of moody TV show music nor do I think it’s particularly moody at all! The piano synth thing adds a nice twinkle to everything and I like the twinkle.

Jealous Brother - I always get you and Brother Baker mixed up but I think it’s cause you’re both brothers. The chord progression at the start is the same one that James Young used but it doesn’t stay there long. I really love this chorus. Plus the entire concept of this song – writing an ode to a bizarre interstellar object that visited us for awhile and then vanished off to deep space – is great. Production is good, harmonies are good. Are those live drums? If not they do a good job at sounding organic.

Phlub - It’s me. My great uncle did indeed die by falling off of Tygart Dam. I’ve been listening to a lot of old country music lately.


Temnere - Diese ist mein Lieblingslied auf diese Drehenmelodien. Die Gitarren schlagen durch das Mischung, der Worten macht viel Spass, und die Synthesizer sind ganz toll. Es hat ein bisschen Rammstein Stimmung…das war gänzlich absichtlich, ja? GutNischeGnaedig hat fuer das Einfluss bewaerht…aber du macht es viel besser und mehr ueberzeugend. A+.

[Siebass]

ST20 - R2 - Siebass' Reviews

This is my hobby; most of what I know is from doing, and watching loads of videos about mixing, production, singing, etc. on the internet. I've only got my ears, my tastes, what I like and what I hear, so take anything I say with an Atlas' Globe-sized grain of salt. I try to be kind, and also helpful, so take anything I say as something to consider, listen to, and decide if you feel the same way about. I'll try to provide something critical as best I can in that vein; some are stretches, and simply my thoughts as an amateur musician. I hope what I have to say is helpful to everyone, even if just as something to think about.

1. Berni Armstrong - Sleep- Nice clean picking over chords, drums. Catchy descending chorus. Nice harmonies on this. Vocal is very dry and upfront, maybe some reverb or slapback echo on the main vocal could soften and sweeten this. Lyrics clever and interesting, fit fine with the song, and the vocal take is solid. Sounds like a guitar to hold the low end, but seems to be lacking in low end punch a bit overall, drums feel pushed to the back, along with the kick. Vocals might be a touch too loud for my taste relative to the backing track (but I also am guilty of this often.)

2. Pannacotta Army - Moar- great groove in this track, I love the bassline, organ, and the tamborine in the Moar. Opening clip gets masked when the instrumentation comes in. Ominous. Highpass filter sections between verses are nice to wake up the ears, solid stereo image as well. Vocal is hard to understand in terms of enunciation, possibly because of the double, or just how it's delivered. Perhaps could be an eq thing with the backing. This is a great groove. Something EQ feels slightly muddy in the low end here, since the song is great, but feels like it might be a bit behind a curtain a little bit. Some eq to help separate the low end instruments could really elevate this track; check down low in the 0-60, 60-350 range and see if you've got more than you want down there, but might be minor. I heard this more in the live mono than in the Bandcamp, so it could be a polarity issue or some such that appears when mixed down to mono. Surprise harmonica is a nice touch. Really strong track.

3. Yeslessness - White Feather - Nice vocal layering and vocal harmonies, so many layers, lovely. Piano/keyboard keeping the beat with simple drums to open. Similar comment to P Army, some eq to help separate the instruments could really elevate this track; check down low in the 0-40, 60-350 range and see if you've got more than you want down there, when the bass synth/guitar comes in it gets harder to understand the vocal, so there may be some masking. Worth a check down there to see if it's worth the eq or not. The kick drum is disappearing to my ear, for example. Lovely vocal harmonies and playing. Solid song, great groove.

4. Bubba & the Ghost of the Kraken - Hideaway - This was one of my favorites on the round, really clean, nice doubled vocal with one high one low means it's naturally separated for eq purposes, and easy to understand the words. Love the mellismo on the Hideaway, and how it cuts down to the piano for the first, then gives more with the bass and strings on the second hideaway in the chorus. High-pass feel between the verses is nice again to wake-up the ears. Solid arrangement, nice build up in the bridge before the hideaway. Really solid, love the vocal take and treatment on this as well. Spot on. Great arrangement with the double- key change at the outro, bold and surprising, very nice. Gosh, just to have a constructive thing to say, perhaps getting some of the harmonies pushed out more to the sides to get a wider feel in the choruses might elevate the song a bit more. My favorite of the round so far.

5. Chewmeupspitmeout - Love Song - Distorted synth and bitcrushed drums, get me grooving to start. The distortion on the guitars is something in a frequency that causes me to cringe a bit, something too harsh for me, it takes me right out. Might be worth a check up there in the high range on the distortion to see if that can be tamed; might just be my taste, but that chugged guitar just throws me out of the moment in pain from some frequency in there; also possibly just too loud levels-wise. Otherwise, I enjoy the low croony vocal, the chugging guitars, and the playing. IMHO a cool song that is hampered a bit by the eq on the guitars and harsh frequencies; could really be elevated by some targeted cleanup of frequencies in the guitars and fattening up of the drums, and some eq carve out for the main vocal in the heavily-instrumented sections. Catchy very solid hook in the chorus and attitude dripping on the vocal delivery were my favorite parts of this.

6. Stacking Theory - Breath in and Hold it -Great breathing start, with the pulses, got a postal service vibe/deathcab vibe. Autotune is a bit apparent here as an effect, up to your own taste if you like that or not; fine with me for this type of song. Very dreamy and groovy, dig the arpeggiated guitar and washy feel in the Yeahs. Very upfront vocal in the middle, easy to understand. Maybe a touch too loud for my taste, but I am also often guilty of this. Nice separation in the instruments, solid stereo image, great vocal take. Not much for me to say here. Airy dreamy vox and harmonies. Sparkle on the wind chimes. To make a point of saying something that might be constructive, the bass is a little lost in the chorus, perhaps make some more room for that, or run it through parallel compression there to help it cut a little bit more in the mix, or carve something out of the harmony vox in the low end, something to give it a bit more space and let it sneak in. Really great song, great groove.

7. Jeff Walker - Unforgiveable - Great guitar tones, and I love that slide lap/pedal steel. Wonderful attitude in the vocal delivery, clear and easily understood. Good separation in the instruments. Enjoyed the lyric and refrains related to blood. Trying to find some helpful/constructive criticism, the drums are very vanilla, some care or attention to the loop and some variance could help elevate this track; different patterns for the verse/chorus/bridge, more energy or even at a basic level volume automation to sneaky-swell volume up leading into the choruses. Similarly the bass is a wee bit masked when everything else is playing. Minor gripes. Great guitar solo (I love me some guitar solos). Really strong song.

8. Dan Sitler - Awkward - Enjoy the narrow guitar tone and intimate opener; nice lyric for who I was or who I was gonna be. Is that a BASS BASS BASS BASS BASS? Great supporting harmonies on the build up prechorus, very full, light, airy. Nice shaker bit to add some change. Light percussion works for this, no drums song! Searching for constructive criticism. Verse 2 may have too many vocals or could use some eq for separation as it gets a little bit hard to understand the lyrics there. Solid arrangement, great chorus. Great song, I enjoyed it.

9. The Evil Genius formerly known as Timmy - Maria - Super cheese opening and synths work well for this. Main vocal feels a bit dry (lacking verb or slapback echo?). Really funny lyrics, "pornographic detail" stuck out as catchy in my mind. Well done and executed arrangement, quick jump from the funny prechorus to the chorus. Burpy bass is nice. Said you'd never forget but probably did, I laughed. IMHO the vocal could use more attitude and emotion. Maria said she'd never forget, BUT SHE FORGOT YOU. Feels like it's being read but not felt; I think that would help me buy into this song a bit more and hook me into the singer's pain. Fun song, I enjoyed it, lyrics were my fav part, very clever.

10. James Young - War - Commented in the live chat, but I really, really liked the live snare sound on this, really great and pricked my ears up after many soft-instrument drums. They really drive this track home, also fit with the war theme, as snare drum rolls often evoke army marching. Lots of space in this is nice with the drone, lovely moving bassline as the core. Phasey guitar in the chorus. Vocal delivered with attitude. Solid arrangement shifting back to more narrow in the postchorus. In the interest of providing constructive criticism for this solid song, could use something to add/differentiate Verse 3 from verse 2 from verse 1; slightly different way of playing, additional percussion/changed percussion, harmony line, something to pick it up might elevate the song a bit. One idea I use a lot for changing things in a verse is I'll go from strummed to arpeggiated chords, even if it's the same chord; can help prick up the listener's ear. Other thoughts are new harmony vocals, or a new vocal treatment, just to name some ideas. Maybe throw in a stop or something to shake up the arrangement. All just some thoughts to consider to spice up the verses for verse 2 and 3 and arrangement. Very solid song, not much for me to say, only minor quibbles.

11. Single Pint of Failure - Alone - I think I have similar feelings on this as to Stacking Theory; really solid song on the whole. Vocal seems a bit high, levels-wise; maybe a touch too loud in the vocal for my taste, but I am also often guilty of this too. Nice separation in the instruments, solid stereo image, great vocal take. Not much for me to say here, great attitude in the vocal. Chorus seems to be eating the kick drum a bit, might want to consider trimming some space out of the backing vox in the chorus eq to have room for the kick and bass in the chorus considering the hugeness. Really nice width on the Alone. Just a very solid take. I like the "list of lists" lyric.

12. Tunes By LJ - Capital - really great soulful take here with spare jazzy instrumentation, great vocal double, perfect for this song. 5/4 time is hard to do, but somehow manages to do a great job in that, and verse sounds so different from the chorus which FEELS like a change to 6/8, but it's still in 5/4. Light piano, really tight guitar got a girl from ipanema vibe. Just a lot of great choices, less is more. Piano prechorus to the washy Capital. Just great all around. I can't think of anything major to say. In an effort to come up with something constructive to say, perhaps some change in verse 3 and verse 2 to distinguish them from verse 1, perhaps that sweet organ doing something in the back, or a small additional percussive element? Really great song. Descending outro, just solid arrangement. This is among my favorite songs this round.

13. Balance Lost - Lost - Got a Gin Blossoms/Better than Ezra feel to it starting out with punchy drums, solid guitar tones. Guitars maybe a touch loud relative to the vocals and other instrumentation? Only minor quibble I could find is vocal clarity gets a bit lost in verse 2 when the right guitar comes in and steps on it's toes a wee bit. Nice string punches in the chorus, subtle. Fun stereo image in this in the choruses, lots of cool stuff spread around the stereo field. Great separation for the bass and drums, solid eq and instrument clarity. Really strong song, I dig it.

14. Hot Pink Halo - Phosphorescence - Nice piano melody playing off the drum machine and bass. Vocal feels a bit dry, like not much reverb in the verses, which contrasts starkly against the washy reverby choruses. The vocal also is very expressive and emotive in the choruses, I personally would have liked more of that emotion in the verses as well, and maybe a touch louder? Love the harmony on the choruses and blending vocals, and a nice bridge as well, and great separation in the instruments. Truly glowing.

15. Also in Blue - Please - Lovely dancing piano lines, great emotive vocal and delivery, excellent choice of timing on the vocal through the verses, and nailed it on the falsetto for the chorus. Fist around my heart is the lyric that stuck. Fun pacing, a real groove. Gosh, struggling for something to say, if anything I'd say I'd wanted it to build even bigger in chorus 2 or the bridge, but very tight and well done.

16. Jealous Brother - Oumuamua surf/desert rock guitar tones here. Nice harmonies in the verse. Loud and rocking. Solid vocal with the double, easy to understand. Full. Super catchy chorus. Made me think of someone burning themselves on the stove, and mua mua being the equivalent of "my bad" in some foreign language. Nice moving bassline in verse 2. I'm stretching to find something critical to say....only thing I'd say is consider potentially not having another prechorus before the final, and have a bridge section in terms of arrangement, since it is about the same prechorus as the last time we heard it. Really great one. (4/6/23 update this chorus has been in my head ALL DAMN DAY. Well done.)

17. Phlub - Tygart Dam - Perfect jangle-core with the bass, banjo, mando, and heavy baritone vocal delivery. I'm a sucker for the dam dam dam. Nice trem picking. The dam worked its way into my brain. I love the chorus in this. so catchy. Sorry to hear that it was a real tragedy, but great song nonetheless. Stretching for something to say constructively, for this kind of story song it's really more about the lyrics and tale, but perhaps could benefit from a wider stereo image to elevate the song a bit. That and perhaps some vocal harmonies on the "dams" in the chorus. Great song, I enjoyed a lot.

18. Temnere - Deutsch Great high-pass section before getting back into the heavy in the intro. Definitely metal, nailed the genre. Ominous, subtle synth melody, growly vocals fit, huge guitars perfect, and double-kicky. Looking for critical feedback, I'd say even with the huge guitars, the bass and kick drum sound like they are missing some low end, and that might help improve the track some. Nice Ooooos backing as well. I just threw the lyrics into Google translate, and what more can I say? Well played, Temnere, well played.

19. The Popped Hearts - The Second Best Time to Plant a Tree - Really nice bassline, well played and interesting. I think the bass is getting masked a bit by the guitars, to my ears. Really great playing here on all the strings, and I like the tones. The right guitar sounds a bit louder than the left and is a little distracting. Clear vocal and solid delivery, easy to understand. I'm a sucker for a guitar solo, niiiiice. Solid drop bridge cutting out the instruments works well for arrangement. Really solid drums here, real drums are great. I like the sneaky MICKEY during the outro. I think for the backing "Today" in the chorus, would help punch it up some to have more voices yelling, like in a punk chorus, kind of like a gang vocal. Great song.

20. Mandibles - Desiree - Wonderful emotive and powerful vocal take here, nice male/female vocal double helps for clarity. Descending melodic line really great and powerful too with multiple vox layering really well. Guitar SOLO yes, I love a good guitar solo. Guitar and bass in lockstep, solid tones here. Great song, I have to reach for something constructive to say, so I'd go with I wish the bassline would step out of the shadow of the guitar on this track, as there's room to paint another melodic line in bass tones. Great song.

21. Governing Dynamics - Predestination - Lovely fuzz guitars, I love WALLS OF FUZZ, really great rock track here. Digging the drums, really grooving, I like this, with the higher register guitar on the right playing a different melody makes it easy to get separation. Full sound, full track, really good. Wooo, another guitar solo! On my stretch for something constructive to say, I'd say the vocal could benefit from some riding of the fader; it's a little low for a lot of the track, which is fine, but IMHO the vocal seems to get a little too low from about 1:30 through the second chorus. Great track. Really fun FUZZ rock.

22. Cavedwellers - Owzat! (Dismissed) - Cowbell, oh yeah. Fat bass. Funky. Bassline and tone are my favorite part, that and the vocal and harmonies in the chorus. Right guitar in the chorus 2 seems a bit louder than everything else, and is a little distracting. I wish there was more of the great emotional feel in the verse as there is in the chorus; the lyric is angry and a bit bitter, and I'm wanting more of that to come through in the verse vocal. GUITAR SOLO, OH YEAH, dirty dirty slide, I love it. Secret organ pumping in here too. Arrangement wise, at the end, going back to the prechorus kind of drops the energy for me a bit after that great solo section; two thoughts to consider: Go full drop pre-chorus, to really drop down and wake up the listener, or barrel straight through to the chorus again and skip the prechorus this time to keep the energy up. Really solid track. I almost learned something about Cricket, too while I wasn't paying attention.

23. Thanks, Brain - Strange - Really fun vocal, instrumentation and arrangement here, theremin is a nice touch. I think the vocal has a hard time cutting through the dense mix in places; might be improved with some eq, maybe in the 1000-1400 range on the instruments cut and boost a bit on the same spot on the vocal somewhere that sounds nice in there on the vocal to help it sit and cut through the cool music, just 1-3db probably. That or maybe some parallel compression on the vocal (and maybe that sweet theremin too, I WANT MORE THERAMIN!! I'd love it to be louder or cut through the mix more, it's very fun). Instrumentation feels full in a good way, might also benefit from some eq to prevent too much masking in the denser parts of the mix. Love the vocal delivery and harmonies on STRANGE. Really fun halloween cheese romp. I laughed at the screams in there too. Well done.

24. JW Hanberry - Maladjusted - Whoa, huge cool opening, dirty with tons of one-shot sounds, very interesting and pulls the listener right in. Pushed back distorted vocal works well for this ominous and hectic vibe. Great guitar breakdown between first and second stanzas. Maladjusted wild treatment on the vocals, stutters and breakdowns. Lots of attention to detail in the instrumentation and choices made here, really cool. Looking for constructive/helpful stuff to suggest; vocal might be a bit quiet in the early parts, and gets kind of swallowed on some of the choruses (perhaps on purpose). Vocal also feels a little dry in a few spots, but really just minor quibbles, and I"m searching for things to say. Really great song.

25. BucketHat Bobby Matheson - Time Enough at Last (Vellichor). - Nice big guitar tones. Drums sound a little dry, like they aren't in a room or sending much to a reverb makes them feel a little tiny and small; not sure if if intentional or not. Love love the spoken ominous portion. Great emotion in it, along with the chorus. I would love more of that emotion in the sung verses too. Awesome solo, I love guitar solos, right in there. Really solid chorus. Maybe a bit of pitch correction on some of the main/double/backing vocal; verse one starting off and the first Vellichor? Could just be me, but vocal pitch in a few spots feels a little bit off? I'd also love levels on the rhythm guitars louder, but I love me some guitars. I looked up Vellichor, cool word choice. A lot of good stuff here.

26. Brother Baker feat. Father - Free - Nice ominous rock guitars driving this forward with the piano, very full and real drums, big big. To my ear, some of the Free is getting masked by all the cool instrumentation in the chorus a bit; some eq special for that might help, or at least be something to consider. Love the breakdown to the piano and vocal bit, great arrangement choices throughout. Love real drums, something just better energy imported. Into the song. Great separation on the bass guitar. Kick drum and snare get a bit lost in the HUUUUGE choruses as well, so some eq attention to that might also help elevate a great track even further. Awesome song.

27. Good Niche Gracious - Katzenfruhstuck - Funny premise of the hungry feline waking a tired owner. A few German songs this round. Ominous synth and washy pad. Synth drums, building up. Solid stereo image. Feel the rage in the "I'm Hungry". Solid vocal delivery. The tones in some of the synths and the gang Meows can be a little grating to my ear, maybe too much in the high mids/highs? Could just be me though. Could be because the right channel gang MEOW sounds a bit louder than the rest. Funny joke/premise well executed.

28. Sober - Home - Great vocal take, the yodel really works here, to my ear it sounds like it hurt you to make that sound (I hope I am incorrect) with a lot of air flowing through on that yodel. Really dig the dun da dun da in the bass/guitar rhythm during the ends of the verses. Lots of nice accent instruments, washy delay surf guitar, whistling. Very well done. Looking for constructive things to say, perhaps a few of teh "Home" chorus vocals sounded slightly rushed to end, and perhaps (if the pain I heard was real) a less breathy/airy yodel to save you the pain. Great take here. Message solid, liked bottles from the bottomest shelf. Poignant on the only one train anyways. Well done.

29. The Alleviators - Sigh - Another great vocal take, tons of emotion, well sung. Nice subtle guitars, elec piano, bass; solid basswork holding things together with lighter drums. Kick and snare still punchy. Double on the prechorus is a nice touch. Sounds like might be real drums, either way very nice. Airy drawn out wide stereo image sighs work really well. Looking for things to say, bass disappears a bit in all the layers in the "Sighs". I appreciate the attention to bring things back down for the second verse, nice contrast. As the song builds up more in instrumentation, the drums feel a bit small in contrast; perhaps something to consider riding the levels a bit more on the drums with the energy of the song. These are just minor quibbles/thoughts. GUITAR SOLO, I am happy. Really great work here, groove, ambiance, and attitude.

30. Siebass - Home - I worked hardest on the vocal take on this, along with the lyrics, and I think I managed those. Orchestral is not really my thing, but I think I executed well enough given I don't know how to play piano, or produce/mix soft strings. Drums could really use some variation in the different parts; song would really have benefitted from going back to handle this. Also the low end is a bit weak, due some last minute mixing that went a bit amok. Could have benefited from one more day to listen and catch that, but c'est la vie. Pleased with my arrangement and variety of melodic lines on the pianos and violin patches in verse 1 and 2. Can get a bit harsh to my ear, partly because of the missing low end, but might also benefit from some decreasing in the high-mids or highs to tame a bit of the harshness. I like the lush strings. Killer bridge. With more time, I'd give some care to the low end, and variation in the drums, and the high-mids/highs. Maybe some additional variation for the choruses to make them feel a bit different. Other than the low end issue making it sound a bit thin, though, I'm very pleased with this vocal/instrumentation/lyrics/delivery/arrangement.

31. Ironbark - Desole - Lovely live acoustic waltz with the accordion feels like a cafe on a Parisian street corner, laughing accordion line. This song has atmosphere in droves; heartfelt story time. Natural they say to just wither away all alone, was the line that stuck with me. Really great selection of instruments, no drums here and not necessary. Lovely song. Gosh, I'm at a loss for a suggestion. I'd have to go for something, I'd say maybe parallel compression on the vocal perhaps to sweeten it up and help it cut a little bit on the heavier instrumentation parts; only something to consider though, this song is great as it is.

32. Jerkatorium - Yeah - Heavy guitars intro and vocals. Feels bitter in the lyrics, lots of funny denials, great harmonies in the chorus. Solid delivery in the vocal. Gotta work the way up to yeah. Nice meta line. Great bassline/piano throughout. GUITAR SOLO, too short! Need MOAR. Captured the attitude of denial and lack of caring in a negative review. Looking for constructive things to say, bass gets a bit buried in the chorus, I'd like it to be able to cut through since someone is doing serious work down there. Same with the kick in the chorus. Main verse vocal also sounds a little dry to my ear. All minor quibbles. Really well done, great song, great meta commentary on the challenge.

33. Simon Purchase James - Existe los Regalos - Beautiful playing and a truly exquisite vocal take. The spoken parts in English are a nice contrast to the sung lines in Spanish. Thin (not in a bad way) and intimate song, truly lovely vocal in the Spanish. I think the main constructive criticism I'd have about this song is related to the arrangement; does it need to be almost seven minutes long to say what you want to say? Between the Spanish verse, the English spoken translation, chorus, and later chorus/refrain alternate it can get a bit repetitive. I appreciate the timing shift pickup to double time later in the song, and all the little changes in how things are played and sung. At the end of the day this may just be a nitpick from my personal taste, as one of my guiding tenets in songwriting these days is that "it's ok for a song to be long if it needs to be, but I (again me and my opinion) don't want to waste the listeners' time", so I try to edit and cut and trim to get the most tight version out of what I want to say. I'm just offering up as something for you to consider, as who am I to sit in my chair with my opinions on things, but I think this song would go from great to phenomenal with consideration for either or some combination of cutting out the English repeated verses, and/or an edit pass on the back-end of the song, as I do think this song is great. Anywho, just my opinion.

34. Mandrake - Magpies - Great chiptune work, 5/4 time, great slides nice clean production. Terrifying bird samples. Nice synth leads throughout. Vocal with harmony on the magpies sounds cool. I'm feeling true fear from all the magpies, like they are staring at me and going to get me through the computer. For constructive criticism, only two points, the vocal is a little hard to understand/muddy to my ear on the magpies; second would be an arrangement in the bird-chirp breakdown, and perhaps just from my fear of the magpies, I think it goes on a bit too long without much variation from 1:00 or so to almost 2 minutes in, so I think that breakdown would improve with either shortening or adding more variation to that part, more similar to the length of the outro. You've already terrified me of the birds. Really fun, tight song, instills real fear. Cool stuff, nicely done.

35. Daniel Sitler - Not a Cello - Are you sure that isn't a cello....?

36. Night Sky - Lonely Alexander - Only song with horns, wooooo. Fun walking bassline, I'd like it a bit higher in the mix closer to the levels of the rest of the song, along with the guitars. Horns and vocal sound really great. Funny story of salamander love in teh dry sauna. Looking for constructive criticism, perhaps a bit of pitch correction on some of the vocals, and maybe the vocals a hair dry for my taste, so perhaps consider a touch more reverb or a slap-back delay to thicken them up? Minor quibbles. Nice switch of gears to the wedding march. Horns really were my favorite part of this, really great. Wait, did those salamanders die at the end???

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Check out my latest album here!

[sleepysilverdoor]

PART 2:

The Popped Hearts - The 90s vibe here is very strong, this makes me think of like Gin Blossoms or something. The first verse really takes me back to a Mickey Ds drive through in the early 90s as my cousin drove me around and bought me a happy meal while ordering herself a Diet Coke. Her hair was so huge back then with those late 80s early 90s huge poofy bangs that were such a thing. There’s some clipping on the vocals that comes through at times that you may want to dial back. I’m not huge on the bridge – it’s not the swearing in general, it’s just that it breaks the rhythm and the only time the lyrical cadence does that at all is just for the swear words which makes them sound kind of unnatural and try-hard. I want to plant a tree now.

Mandibles - I knew a couple Desirees growing up. I didn’t really like one of them, but the other was really nice and pleasant to be around. Vocals are immaculately performed. I don’t really like how the drums are panned to my left slightly, I’d put those closer to the center and maybe bring up the guitar just a smidge while putting a little bit of compression on those vocals. I mean you don’t have to but that’s what I’d do. Is this song about an actual Desiree, or the feeling of desire in general? Do you desire Desiree? Yeah other than mixing advice I don’t have much to say about this. Something about the arrangement sounds really 70s to me but I can’t place what it is. The guitar tones and that kind of plodding ascending riff maybe? Good jorb.

Governing Dynamics - Excellent alt-rock vibes. The chorus feels like it needs to rawk a bit more and the only thing I can think of that’s holding it back is the amount of power on your vocals. Like there’s a certain breathiness to your delivery that could really be belted more for the oomph. Maybe when that guitar solo comes in turn it up a bit? It’s a good solo but my ear keeps being drawn to the bass playing (which is good, just not what needs to be highlighted there). When I say turn up the guitars a bit I mean the clean ones, the distorted track is about the right volume imo. I might me stupid but I’m having trouble picking out exactly what this song is about. I liked the composition.

Cavedwellers - I know nothing about cricket but I guess I’m gonna have to learn soon. The US is getting a cricket league? I had no idea! I’m always happy to hear live drums in a song cause they’re such a rarity in online songwriting competitions. I’m assuming these are live drums, they sound live. I wish this was a little bit faster, something about it sounds like it needs a little bit more energy. The “one word…” bit is a nice switch up and the way you lead into that solo is well done…as is the solo itself, that’s some good guitar work right there. I feel like you could make some cuts in the middle section of the song and maybe take about 30 seconds out of this and it would be better. Or just play it faster.

Thanks Brain - I know Evermind has spent a lot of time on SongFight so I’m gonna point out that this sounds like a Paco del Stinko song to me. That theremin sounding synth thing was an inspired choice and the descending straaaaaaaaaaange in the chorus is really satisfying. I wish the vocals were a little louder in the mix, cause as it stands they seem a little low. All of the cheesy monster noises are satisfying and this song is delightfully spoopy. Yeah I’m not sure exactly what I’d want to change about this. The harpsichord-ey thing towards the end was a great addition. I feel like there’s a ghost in the room.

JW Hanberry - I drove to work to an old dubstep mix from like 2010 this morning and the instrumental fit that vibe really well with the beat and a lot of the synth flourishes. This song is a weird blend of things and I’m not entirely sure how much I like it, like the guitars have this classic rock feel to them over the squelchy synths and the vocals go with that. Not that I need to categorize this song in any specific genre but it feels completely all over the place and doesn’t quite settle on one identity…but wait it’s MALADJUSTED so please tell me that was the entire point. The bleep bloops before verse 3 are terrific. The more I listen to this song the more I like it and I think it’s because it confuses me in a very meta songwriting kind of way. You took a big chance on the composition and even though it’s a grower this is definitely a grower.

Buckethat Bobby Matheson - Vellichor is a wonderful word and I’m glad you chose it. While I like this deep rockin riff it’s so bass heavy that it has a certain lack of presence in the mix. You’ve got a lot of treble in your voice (and I think your singing here was pretty well done). The “in every town part” has your voice mixed a little high in the mix for my preference. Maybe a smidge more distortion or gain on the rhythm guitar (is that even a guitar, or are you riffing on a bass?) would help flesh out the mix a lot. Once the guitar solo comes in, it fills out that part of the frequency band in a way that feels very welcome and necessary. 90% of my complaints about this song are based around the lack of mid range frequencies, the mix is just too open. The composition and song itself and idea are good and I really like “vellichor”.

Brother Baker feat Father - Okay I know you guys are brothers but your song bio indicates that father is your actual father which is awesome. Mine isn’t around anymore but he never really could sing that well, though his tone deaf kind of shy renditions of church hymns were always kind of charming. Anyway, enough about that. This really shines once the energy picks up after the intro. Weirdly my complaints are based a lot on certain things. Namely the rhythm on that descending piano line…I don’t know why but it just doesn’t work, maybe it’s just how delayed that last note before you drop to the fifth is…drags? Also the chugga chugga chugga should be a power chord instead of a single note imo. But otherwise this has really good energy and was an enjoyable listen. Chorus arrangement is wonderful.

Good Niche Gracious - I played drums on this and so my biggest gripe is “why are they so low in the mix and why is the stock drum track still there, I can’t hear myself at all”. Like the live drums are almost inaudible compared to the synths and the scratch drum track was all that was present during the verses. Why? Then in the chorus and bridge it’s like the drums I can hear are hypercompressed but then turned way down while the vocals are so far upfront. The mix is like…upside down. And what happened to my backing meows in the chorus? Time constraints? I’m not trying to be mean or petty but I feel like my contributions were erased. We can discuss more off thread if you’d like. Song was amusing though and I generally like the concept of it.

Sober - This is the graveliest yodel I’ve ever heard but I kind of like it…like someone else pointed out it sounds like it would hurt your throat after awhile but hey, it makes for a good and memorable vocal style. The whistling is great and the “woooooos” in the chorus are fun. I will say that “home” as the chorus without yodeling it out feels a little wrong but that’s cause Sandy’s song “Home” in Spongebob does exactly that and so maybe I end up just wanting that instead haha. But that would be plagiarism. The whistles are terrific. I love that guitar tone you’ve got in there, is that a telecaster? Lyrics are evocative and not super direct, which is a plus…environmental (or any “message”) songs that are too on the nose bug me and you do it tastefully.

The Alleviators - I think I fell asleep during this one on my first runthrough at the listening party, and I can kind of see why - it’s relaxing and the vocal performance here is sublime. Maybe my favorite vocal performance of the round. Sigh is a great chorus word, and the way it’s held out is great. Mix is well balanced, and while I usually get frustrated by synth drum programming (drums were my primary instrument for a long time) I think they’re really well done here. The only time this song really loses steam is that transition from the bridge to the guitar solo but really just trimming a measure or doing something to lead from the bridge to the solo would make it better. Minor nitpick, this is a great tune!

Siebass - The other “Home”. What a homey tune. The idea of being tried by the hague for weeding is a GREAT image and lyrically this may be my favorite track of the round; your lyrical style is fantastic and the specific images (like humidity swelling up the front door) are great and I can totally relate to them. Not just cause my front door is always swelled up for about half the year. Backing harmonies on point, everything is great and hard to criticize!

Ironbark - Okay this is also terrific. Arrangement is great and the French touches are an inspired choice. Pizzicato violin: nice! Désolé is a great choice of word, and the pivot from your chess playing friend saying it to you to you imagining him saying it from beyond the grave is wonderful. This makes me want to get out my chessboard…I routinely play chess with elderly retirees so this kind of hits close to home. I’ll probably leave pawns at their graves too just cause that’s a terrific idea. None of them are French though, but one guy is from New Orleans and has a thick cajun accent so close enough. Terrific, one of the best songs this round.

Jerkatorium - Yeah! Weirdly one of the only things that doesn’t work for me about this is pronouncing “blah” and “meh” in a way that rhymes with “yeah”. Those words don’t rhyme! I’m amused by the meta-ness of this track…and specifically namedropping Sober was kind of funny. Harmonies are wonderfully executed. This is so meta. The plinky keys in the chorus after you mention adding plinky keys was an inspired touch. Am I stupid or can I not hear an arpeggiator? You need more arpeggiators!

Simon Purchase James - Is your middle name actually purchase? The fingerpicking here sounds great, very excellently played. Given the length of this song – and it’s a good song – I feel like the spoken word english sections could be completely cut. They don’t really contribute much other than just stating the translation of the spanish portions, and honestly I think the song would work much better both thematically and lengthwise if you cut that out. I like this song lyrically a lot more than your last entry. Some new musical elements and change ups in the composition – particularly during the first half – would improve things a bit cause we get to almost 4:30 before the energy level picks up at all. Your voice is lovely and so I can’t get mad, I just think this is too long.

Mandrake - AHHHHH the magpies. There is nothing more atmospheric than echoing birds. The production on this is great…your history of doing mostly electronic production is doing you a lot of favors cause this just sounds good. The portamento on your synth lead is great, and the overall chiptune elements. What processing did you do on the magpies anyway? Do they naturally sound like that or did you like bitcrush/process them? Obviously they’re chopped and screwed a lot but man, those are some crazy sounding birds. We have nothing that sounds like that stateside. And apparently Aussie magpies are entirely different birds than the magpies we have elsewhere in the world, not even in the same family! But they look kind of similar I guess. Hell yeah magpies.

Daniel Sitler - BASS BASS BASS I joked on the songfight discord about “is someone gonna write a techno song saying bass over and over” and I don’t know if you saw that and decided to do it but you did and BASSSSSS. Nice distorted rant. I can’t really make out what you’re saying, but reading the lyric sheets – I used to own a double bass back in the day and I sold it cause it was such a pain in the butt to move around. Not that it was a bad instrument, I loved playing it but it’s just too huge and too inconvenient in so many ways! Augh!

Night Sky - Oh man I love my local salamanders. And your sax playing is on point as usual. I wish this wasn’t a shadow and had gotten back in cause this has one of the better choruses you’ve written, especially the way you end it with the Californ-I-A. This is a love song about salamanders oh man I really love it. This may be the best Night Sky song I’ve ever heard. I feel like all of the instruments that aren’t vocals or saxophones are too low in the mix and need a boost! The tempo change and the chunch organ during the wedding is amazing, but then they die NOOOOOOOOO what a tragic ending. Poor salamanders. A+ for you, this is one of my favorite songs this round.

Okay without having to rank all of them, my top 5 songs this round ARE:

Ironbark
Thanks Brain
Night Sky
Temnere
Hot Pink Halo

With bonus points to Magpies cause birds.

[Sober]

Got to these late. Thanks to the folks who have reviewed already.

Berni Armstrong: That guitar sound is super brittle. There's some resonance in the like 10khz region that's a bit painful. The accent on the line "There must be something essential" feels like it should be on "must" rather than "be." Enjoy the progressions throughout, and bringing the harmonies in at the end was a nice touch I was hoping would happen. The little guitar melody at the end is super nice - would love if there were some kind of interplay or countermelody throughout, rather than solo voice carrying all the melodic information. Lovely tune.

The Pannacotta Army: Feels like this could use a bit of record crackle, perhaps tied to a kick with a bit more sustain? This chorus is killer - love the call and response. Ah, there's the record crackle breakbeat! Hell yeah. Love the tambourine - feels like it could use a bit of reverb to place it in a similar space as the rest of the mix. So many cool arrangement details coming in and out - good hammond sound, and love the melodica outro. Good stuff.

Yeslessness: Take a little extra time to trim up and quickfade the heads and tails of your tracks, especially when you have a bunch of vocal tracks coming in at the same time. There's a cumulative effect as you have more and more layers of mouth noise, breath, and hi frequency air. There's a lot of wonderful arrangement and detail that would be much more impactful if you weren't limited to virtual instruments. Would love to hear this with an organic band. Really nice progression. Nice tune!

Bubba & The Ghost of the Kraken: Fun intro. Really nice execution of the octave vocal. This feels like a deep cut off a Gotye album. Piano could maybe sit back a couple db. There's a lot of really smart writing and arranging here that I could spend days analyzing. Chorus is awesome, though I don't know if I love the stabby synth in the left channel. One key change is fun, two is.. indulgent. And boo fade out, boooo. Great work.

chewmeupspitmeout: Wow those guitars really come in. Perhaps a bit early? They seem to be pushing the beat throughout, and it stands out when everything else is programmed right on the grid. There's a charm to the 80's gloomy pop vocal against the 80's out-of-tune guitars, and it all comes together as a cohesive whole, which is hard to do. Fun track.

Stacking Theory: You have a handle on chill-and-groovy that I simply do not possess. That first chorus hits hard as fuck, so well done. I'm hearing all kinds of really smart arrangement decisions that make it so, like holding the bass back until the chorus; but it's not something you immediately notice. The quantity and delivery of the "yeahs" make this feel a little Jemaine Clement. Strong entry once again.

Jeff Walker: Fun sound right out the gate, though I'm not sure about that keyboard patch. Straight rhodes or wurly with some burn would do the job. If I were hired to play on this (keys was my primary call instrument for both live and studio in Texas), I'd insist pretty firmly on hammond. At times the vocal stands a little proud; riding the vocal fader a bit more aggressively would help it sit better. This has a distinctly Red Dirt feel, and I still feel like you could lean more into the dirtier, less-polished aspect of your voice. Consider that most of those guys grew up not on country, but on grunge. Hell, Stoney LaRue is basically 90's grunge with some twang. Chorus could start to use some harmony by the second time around. Guitars are wonderful and spot on for the genre. Country is a much more diverse and subdivided genre than most people acknowledge, and this is like, just adjacent to being my absolute jam, but not for any specific fault or lack of talent or skill. Looking forward to more!

Daniel Sitler: Really nice acoustic sound. The harmonies and the lead are a bit stacked together down in the low register. Adam Neely has a great explainer on lower interval limit theory that I feel applies here - thankfully we have tricks that we can use in the studio to alleviate the effects of this, particularly panning and eq. Splitting those condensed harmonies out in the stereo field, and scooping out a bunch of lo mids would go a long way in reducing the perceived dissonance coming from your otherwise consonant harmonies. Anyway, loads of beautiful chord work, and lovely instrumentation. Ah, the super reverby breath trick - such a cool atmospheric tool. Great work again.

The Evil Genius formerly known as Timmy: Bouncy bass is fun. Very wet mix, and your vocal is quite dark. Embrace any air that might be present in your vocal tracks. Are you recording with a dynamic mic? There's a lo mid buildup that's pretty characteristic of dynamics and proximity effect. I don't know that the rush in "promise to remember" works. Lots of fun ideas here.

James Young: Would love to hear the tambourine hits on 2 and 3 differentiated just a little - as is, it's a dead giveaway for a virtual instrument. Love the clean guitar tone, and the little bass runs. The saturation and reverb on your vocal is just perfect. Feels like we had a natural ending point after the second chorus, and the third verse doesn't sonically change anything up from the first two. Digital pops during the ringout - trim and crossfade your tails to avoid that. Great stuff again.

The Single Pint of Failure: The fx on the vocal causes occasional hi frequency sharpness that punches through whatever compression you have on the vocal. Use whatever low pass is built into that effect, or set up a send and eq that. It's hard to hear the rest of the mix, but I do love the big grungy guitar when it comes in. I would love to hear this with a modified fx stack on the vocal so I could really appreciate it.

Tunes by LJ: How many times am I going to link Undertale in this competition? This arrangement is ridiculous. The guitar work is super clean, and the chord work is killer - love all the descending lines, the extensions, little augmented movements at the end of a phrase. Kudos for making 5/4 sound so natural in the verses (the measure of 5/8 piano into the chorus? ), and swingy as fuck in the chorus. I gotta ding you for the hammond though - this has the classic sound of someone more used to playing piano. Wurly or Rhodes would be a better patch swap here. Love the ending. Killer work.

Balance Lost: I'm looking at my feedback from last round, and there isn't much I can change. This executes exactly what it's aiming to. Maybe back off the delay level just a hair, and maybe dampen the highs on it? The sibilants on the delay overwhelms the percussion a bit. A couple plosives and there. Boo fadeout, boooo. As with last time, great work!

Hot Pink Halo: Love that old piano sound against the groovy breakbeat. Seems like I can really hear the space you're recording your vocal in - or is that a super-close reverb setting? Feel like we could use some more fundamental support from the bass - you have a killer bridge progression, but it's defined almost entirely by the vocal. Maybe a really simple sine wave bass patch an octave below your current bass track, just riding the fundamental? I don't know. You experiment so much more than I do, so I'm probably trying to "fix" things that don't need to be fixed. Engaging work as always.

Also In Blue: My least favorite genre of music is probably a tie between Christian Contemporary and musical theatre (I know that musical theatre "spans all genres" but there is a style of delivery that is undeniably unique to the medium, much as there is with a lot of Christian/praise music). Anyway, you absolutely have the musical theatre sound in this track, and I somehow don't hate it. Anyway, what can I say here? Maybe back the hihat off just a hair - it's far louder than the rest of the kit (are you on a v-drum setup? Something about the way the hats build up strikes me that way). Yeah, this is great work as always. Love the ringout.

Jealous Brother: Ah, the Wicked Games progression. It's a fleeting recall, as you move into fresh territory, complete with minor iv's, which is always lovely. Bass tone is killer, and we get a couple fun runs with it. Fun track!

Phlub: Channeling Blaze Foley, and I love it. Something about your accent feels put on, though I know you can speak with it naturally. I don't think there's anything wrong with altering or heightening one's accent when performing country, but I think if you compare e.g. Tyler's speaking voice vs his singing voice, you'll find that you can hear the accent when he sings - but in much the way that brits and americans frequently sound alike when singing - it's smoothed out significantly. Allow a few key vowels to do the work of conveying the accent, and otherwise just be you. Anyway, I love a good working class song full of occupationally-specific jargon that I don't understand specifically, but is still effective in telling the story. The chorus is pitch-perfect for the genre, and is exactly the way someone like Kinky Friedman or John Prine might write it. I think your song might have the most "natural" one-word chorus out of the lot. Good stuff.

Tenmere: I really tried to think of reasons beyond the language to reference Rammstein. But it seems obvious that you're leaning into it, and I love it. I do think Rammstein is a uniquely well-suited model for this challenge. So many of their songs are one-word choruses (those are just from their first two albums, and don't include repeated-phrase songs). Can you tell I listened to Rammstein a lot as a kid? I can still pretty much recite Sensucht front to back, even though I don't know what most of it means. Anyway, you nailed this, and I have no notes. Sounds like you had fun making this, and I had fun listening to it. Tenmere rules.

The Popped Hearts: The guitar in the left definitely feels a bit loud. As does the one doing fills in the right. Bring those each down a few db and I think the mix will be just about right. A bit stumbly at 0:56, which stands out since everything else is pretty solid. When you start stacking the vocal parts at the end, try doing something to separate that third layer when it comes in. As is, it's competing with the first layer. Either move the first layer when that third comes in, or move the third layer over to the left to balance the second layer in the right. Hope that makes sense. Anyway, as I said last round, you execute the genre well. Good work!

Mandibles: Good work with the layering, feels really natural. As someone who grew up LDS, it's hard not to hear "Deseret" . The jangly 12-string is really nice. The ascending riff during the chorus works well. Feels like some elements could have a little bit of time correction to get everything punching at the same time. Oof, love the vocal ring out, but you gotta trim and crossfade those tails! I can hear a dozen mouseclicks and at least one spacebar. Improvement over last round imo - keep up the good work!

Governing Dynamics: Looking over my notes from last round, there isn't a lot to add - you have well-placed confidence in your style and execution. Here and there the vocal does sound like you're approaching clipping rather than just pushing a tube saturation plugin. Guitar tones throughout are great, and the solo is just right. Feels like we could have ended after the chorus around 2:46, but the coda might grow on me. Great work again.

Cavedwellers: Cool intro riff establishment. Rhodes sound is great. Love hearing the guitar join the riff in the second verse. I don't know if the chorus is strong enough to support as many repetitions as it gets. As someone who sucks really badly at slide, I admire the chops. Definitely feels like this track would be a lot stronger at 2:45 than it is at 4:18. Maybe on the Special Edition of the album you'd have this extended cut, while the single was a <3m version. Solid work again.

thanks, brain: Great job bringing together all the many little details that make horror punk work. WILLHELM SCREAM The virtual theremin, the harpsichord, the melotron - everything works. The mix is a bit of a wash, but that's kind of how the genre is supposed to sound. Just killer work here.

JW Hanberry: Crispy-fried, but I feel like you might as well have deep-fried it. You have a charming kooky quality to your voice, and I think you could lean into it another 200%. I'm thinking Kompressor-level kommitment. Anyway, this is weird and fun and charming. Good work.

‘Buckethat’ Bobby Matheson: Drums sound great. Guitars are a bit subdued - feels that they aren't supporting the rest of the track as well as they could. Would be cool to hear an automated delay or reverb on the chorus - roll up the decay/level as you sustain that note. Fun stuff from you as always.

Brother Baker feat. Father: Interesting contrast between the shit piano and the slick vocals. You're able to build a wall of sound with just your voice in a really satisfying way. I like that you're not afraid of dissonance, and use it to great effect when the resolution comes. The different rhythmic feels in the choruses are a nice way to keep things interesting. Great work again.

Good Niche Gracious: Feel like I'm going crazy listening to this, but I imagine that was your intent . 26 seconds is a long intro, especially on a 2:17 track. Mix feels improved this round, though we're losing the kit, perhaps due to saturation on the drum bus? The sound is cool, but you might duplicate at least the kick and snare without the saturation, and compress/eq them such that you're still getting a clean smack from them where you need it. Fun track!

Sober: I'll just address comments here: No, singing this doesn't hurt me at all, though it clearly hurts many listeners . My partner hated it. Guitar is all Strat, which I'm trying to trade for a Tele so I can be a real country boy. Whistle is Eddie Lehwald, who was originally signed up to participate, but has suddenly found himself needing to move to Chicago. Terribly sad to see him go, but grateful to have gotten to know him, and to get him into my little studio for some whistlin'.

The Alleviators: You have a different kick sound in this from last round, and I feel that I prefer last round's kick, despite my comments on it. You could trim your heads and tails a bit closer - we have what sounds like single-coil buzz through the first part of verse two, though no guitar is happening there, and there's a distracting catch breath at ~1:53 - made distracting because it comes from an unexpected place (the right channel), where we might not be distracted by the same breath in the lead vocal. The lead guitar feels a little out of place, and perhaps a bit too aggressive tone-wise. Seems like we could have ended on that sigh at the end of the bridge - that would have been so nice! The solo and fadeout (booooo) don't really add anything to the story for me, and you'd cut about 40 seconds. Lovely work once again from y'all.

Siebass: Super brickwall-sounding. My money says you'll top Seemanski's LUFS ratings this round. Sustained strings are just lovely. Staccato strings are less convincing - perhaps those lines could be done by another instrument. Harmonies are lovely where they pop in. Really full sounding throughout - I'd caution against some of the 3rds and 7ths I'm hearing in the lower registers, as I mentioned in my comments above for Daniel Sitler. I appreciate the effort put into programming the swells and other articulations in the strings. Incredibly vocal sound, great work all around.

Ironbark: This is lovely. The accordion/melodica, the little pizzicato, the lo-fi organ - all terrific and not overdone. Your voice, and the way you write and arrange remind me of Bret McKenzie, who is objectively good. Anyway, maybe trim up the tails at the end there, but no other notes. Keep doing this lovely stuff.

Jerkatorium: Not sure how to feel about this. Am I being called out?


Simon Purchase James: You obviously have a terrific voice. I don't know that the Inkspots-style repetition (albeit in a different language) of the verse adds anything (I'm conversational in spanish, and understood you perfectly well the first time around). You're also giving tons of plosives, particularly during those spoken parts. We've got painful piezo pickups, and are you singing into a dynamic mic? It seems a solid stereo mic setup would serve you incredibly well. Likewise, you'd be well-served by a writing partner to help you cut your songs down. This is your second >6 minute song, and you only have three short verses here. This all sounds very negative, but you could have an absolute banger 3 minute song here. You clearly have tons of raw talent, and with experience I'm confident you'll find the polish needed to really make all this work. Please stick around.

Mandrake (SHADOW): More [urlhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tp3qiOKuEBM]chiptuney[/url] goodness. I like the drunken tuplet/swing stuff you throw in there, especially against the 10/8 feel.

Daniel Sitler (SHADOW):


Night Sky (SHADOW): This feels quieter, more subdued than last round's track. Some more punch from the drums and bass would help I think. Horns sound killer as always. Slowdown into the bridge is well done, as is the return.

_____

What a round! This may be one of the strongest fields of songs I've heard since I started doing Spintunes. I have to give this to Tunes by LJ, with special shoutouts to Tenmere and Stacking Theory.

[crumpart]

Reviews! I’ve tried to focus on lyrical and songwriting stuff, as several others have gone over production details already. As always, you might not agree with me and that’s cool. I also haven’t proofread any of this yet.


Berni Armstrong
Sleep

The writing and perspective here suit the style of music that you make, but there’s something about it, particularly the line “but research is ongoing” that pulls me out every time; it’s almost like you’re singing a wikipedia article. Think about how you want your songs to feel to the listener; about how you might be able draw people in by describing scenarios in a more fluid way; how you could really set up and milk the chorus word for all it’s worth in your structure and use of verse lyrics. I think it would be interesting for you to have a go at writing something a bit more ephemeral. There’s a great video I watched in 2020 where Will Oldham was doing a zoom meeting with a local university about songwriting. I’ve recommended it to people in reviews before, and I’m not going to stop now. I think you’d get a lot out of it. https://youtu.be/sZDJoGn8LZg


The Pannacotta Army
Moar

Every time I hear an American man sampled in a song I panic because I never want to hear Donald Trump’s voice again, deliberately or accidentally. Luckily it was not Trump. Whew. I wouldn’t have known who the voice was if it wasn’t written in the lyrics (and I still had to look up who it was for more info because I don’t retain names well in general), so it’s kind of useful as a framing device, but kind of not at the same time. The song as a whole is excellent. Well written, well performed, happy to listen to it over and over.


Yeslessness
White Feather

This song is lyrically very opaque. I don’t understand the imagery of the feather at all. A little context wouldn’t go astray, either in the form of a song bio, or some kind of setup section in the song. It’s totally cool to write something personal that’s shrouded in mystery, but in terms of a songwriting contest, I personally like things a little more spelled out. What may seem obvious to you can be far less understandable to others.


Bubba & The Ghost of The Kraken
Hideaway

I am an absolute sucker for Beach Boys styled songs. I love this chorus so, so much, and the key changes on the fade are just gorgeous. Lyrically I think you could do away with the finger pointing at others in the verses. The song doesn’t need it. The narrator can be worn down and need to get away without the tones of bitterness that comes with setting someone else up as the bad guy. The “you and me” tack taken in the second verse is much more successful for me.


chewmeupspitmeout
Love Song

I didn’t love this the first time I heard it, but it’s definitely grown on me. I love the “you saw right through my shirt from Top Shop” line. Works on multiple levels! It’s a pretty fun song. Well done.


Stacking Theory
Breathe In and Hold It

“Open you up and predict your future” cuts through me like a knife. My only gripe with this song is that I kept hearing “year number eight” as “your number eights” at first, and that didn’t make sense. It wasn’t until I read the lyrics that I realised I was an idiot.


Jeff Walker
Unforgivable

In this song I don’t know who “they” are. I can make some assumptions, but there’s not quite enough information to be sure that I’m definitely on the right track. I am neither American nor a big traditional country music fan, so it’s entirely possible that I’m just not picking up on some really obvious lyrical clues; take this review with a grain of salt! For the people who do really enjoy this kind of music, I think this probably delivers as a strong, solid song.


Daniel Sitler
Awkward

Breaking my heart! The little bit of space before “awkward” in the chorus is perfect. No notes sorry. I love it.


The Evil Genius Formerly Known As Timmy
Maria

It takes some stones to write a song called Maria, considering the one from West Side Story is so beloved. I don’t really know how to feel about this song. The lyrics make some assumptions about Maria that brush me the wrong way. Assuming a kid forgot a person; the character in your song didn’t forget, so why would Maria? Assuming a kid got pregnant or skipped town, and that’s why they’re not at school? There are so many reasons that someone would go to a different high school that are way more normal. I don’t think it’s intentional, but the lyrical framing comes across as a bit thoughtless.


James Young
War

Well done on stretching such a short word out so long in the chorus! I don’t really have any notes to offer on this; it’s totally fine, nothing wrong with it, but, for the most part, I’m not the target audience for this type war song.


The Single Pint of Failure
Alone

Things I love about this song: the call back to the “opportunity” challenge, the mirroring of the “alone” chorus in the echo of “away”. The single “goodbye”, the hinting at lists within lists (“a catalogue of things I’ve tried to drink down”). Rhyming “a way” with “away”. So good. This song weird reminds me of From St Kilda To Kings Cross, possibly maybe because that song also lists things. I know you know that song, for everyone else, here it is.

https://youtu.be/AV1FW_FCjx8w


Tunes By LJ
Capital

The five in this is so perfect for the song. Really well handled; feels super natural. I know you were going for uneasiness, but I love five, so sorry! No real notes, lyrically and musically excellent. I love it. “Compounding over time from greed to pride” is a fantastic line.


Balance Lost
Lost

The dropped word in “(From) the windowsill I watch them all” is a little distracting. I think you could rework this line to something more concise and fitting with the meter. “Through the glass I watch them all” maybe? That being said, I love this. One of my favourites from you.


Hot Pink Halo
Phosphorescence

This is my song. I normally give a little rundown of my process when writing reviews, but it’s all there in the song bio. I went through all the emotions usual to songwriting with this one, but in the end I loved it.


Also In Blue
Please

Please is such an evocative word for a chorus. Well done on that choice. I am definitely Team Use All The Mallets And Plinky Xylophone Instruments For Everything, so no complaints there. Every pop song should have a xylophone. I always like a song that opens right on the chorus, and it works perfectly here. Love the rhyme scheme in the build up to the choruses.


Jealous Brother
Oumuamua

The first time I heard this I had no lyrics and hadn’t caught the title of the song, so I found it a bit mean. Later, when I figured out the context I thought it was clever and fun. I particularly like the line “But your heart is ice you overblown obelisk”.


Phlub
Tygart Dam

I’m a sucker for the Southern American pronunciation of “dam” as “dayum”. My grandma always used to tell this story that I love of one of her siblings trying to dob in another one to their parents for swearing, and this reminded me of it in an endearing way: “Jack said ‘damn’ and not the ‘dam’ down in the paddock the other ‘damn’!” Lol. Um ah. So naughty! I’m not here for all country, but I am here for this kind of personal, storytelling country. Good job!


Tenmere
Deutsch

The only word I understood here was “Deutsch”, so I went straight to Google Translate and when I did I laughed so hard. Super clever lyrics. No notes.


The Popped Hearts
The Second Best Time To Plant A Tree

As a fellow Smashing Pumpkins obsessive in my teen years, I am 100% here for this song. I also had Siamese Dream on tape, because my local small town record store only had it on tape. I listened to that album so, so much. In first year uni I lived in a hostel for girls run by nuns (a story in itself), and I loaned my tape to one of the other girls. All week up until the day she left at the end of the year, I asked for it back, and she was all, “oh yeah, I’ll get that for you”… and then she left and I never saw my tape again. Anyway, the T O D A Why is my favourite bit. I don’t really know what “found out with oaves & bitches” means. The “found out” part (I got the plural of “oaf” from your bio!) (Ps: I planted 53 trees last week and just bought two more. Gold star to me.)


Désirée
Mandibles

Really enjoyed this. No real notes (sorry!) All the lyrics and the vocals flow really nicely. If anything, I feel like you could go harder in some of the later choruses; be less restrained in your delivery, and maybe build on the harmonies some more.


Governing Dynamics
Predestination

I’ve mentioned a couple of the other songs being lyrically opaque, and I think this is too, but I think with your genre and style of delivery, that actually works here. I don’t really know what “predestination” means in the context of the song, but I also don’t care because there’s enough imagery built up that I can paint my own picture. Everything is non-specific and open enough that the lack of specificity works.


Cavedwellers
Owzat! (Dismissed)

I don’t know who is saying “AAAOOOOWWW” but they should be fired. It’s “HUZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH”. I haven’t really followed cricket since I was an obsessed child, but I’m loving the fact that a bunch of Americans are writing cricket songs, and I’m looking forward to the next one. You have to have heard Sherbet’s song, right? It has a clav, so it’s at least one of the ingredients for being good. For everyone else…

https://youtu.be/Wqkyx6r8A24


thanks, brain
Strange

This is super fun. You’ve made some little changes from the written lyrics to the performed ones, and all those changes work for the better rhythmically. The only other change I’d make is adding a “so” to “Our love is quite unusual, but it feels so right”. “Our love is quite unusual, but it feels so, so right” would fit better I think. No other notes! Thoroughly enjoyable.


JW Hanberry
Maladjusted

Lyrically this one doesn’t really grab me. It’s all a bit too generic and there’s not a lot to grasp onto on a personal level. Some cool sounds and vibes happening, but but I feel like a couple more passes as the melody and lyrics would be beneficial.


“BucketHat” Bobby Matheson
Time Enough At Last (Vellichor)

Can’t believe I didn’t know this word before, considering everything about all my life choices. I could never do it myself, but I really admire the “songwriting via Twitch” thing that you’ve been doing for the past few years. Engaging others with the songwriting process is a cool and interesting idea; I could never give up that kind of control and I find it fascinating. The bridge is very Vincent Price Thriller; you could probably take another run at that, either by adjusting the meter or delivery so that it isn’t such a strong call-back, but it’s also kind of a nice nod.


Brother Baker feat. Father
Free

Does a waterfall fade? I don’t know, but it’s kind of a cool image regardless. The opening chords are very cool. I enjoy how you took a song about loss and grief and made it a banger.


Katzenfrühstück
Good Niche Gracious

This is cute. I’m not sure how many repeat listens I could manage. We have trained our dog to be very polite about asking for breakfast somehow. He just stands at the doorway like a creeper until he gets bored and goes back to his bed.


Sober
Home

“Picking bottles from the bottomest shelf” is a super fun line. Very nice whistling. Jealous. Stop being sarcastic and mean to yourself in your song bios or I’ll tell mum.


The Alleviators
Sigh

There’s something very evocative about the word “sigh”, especially drawn out in such a gentle, lovely way. Verse two in particular is lyrically very compelling, especially the line “The song you're pulling out of me”. Good work.


Siebass
Home

This song makes me miss home, 17500km away. Jerk. “Meetings and the Mondays and the other M-named horrors” is a fantastic line. Performance-wise you feel at 100 the whole time, and I think it might be cool to pull back and deliver things more gently in some spots, both vocally and instrumentally. Bring a bit of light and shade into it all. Regardless, I really enjoyed this a lot.


Ironbark
Désolé

C’est parfait. Désolé de ne pas pouvoir être plus utile.


Jerkatorium
Yeah

This made me laugh so hard. Needs more clavs and arpeggiated synths. More. I love 
"We can take it from blah to meh
As we work our way up to:
Yeah”


Simon Purchase James
Existe los Regalos

This is really lovely. There’s no obvious reason to me why you need the verses in English. Maybe there’s a backstory as to why you have both languages, and they’re kind of a nice touch, but even as a non-Spanish speaker, I would still thoroughly enjoy this if it was all in Spanish.


Mandrake
Magpies

There’s no bird sound I love more than Australian Magpie. Except maybe the kookaburra, but still, that magpie warble is magic and I miss it. The lyrics could do with a second pass to clean up some grammatical flubs. “Magpies, lived where no one choosed to be” is pretty awkward; you could fix the grammar (“live” rather than “lived”, “chose” rather than “choosed”) but it still kind of doesn’t make sense. On a first pass, you could try “Magpies, live where no one wants to be”, if you’re suggesting that people don’t want to be there for fear of swooping. Nitpicks aside, this is fun and I really enjoyed it. That person singing the chorus is great, 10/10.


Daniel Sitler
Not A Cello (Headphone Warning)

Words cannot express how much I love this. Everything about it is perfect.


Night Sky
Lonely Alexander

This is my favourite song of yours so far and I wish it was in the competition. I’ve seen you putting your vocal performance down; shut up it’s perfect for this song. The sax is great, the lyrics are delightful. I love it.

[CynicalMonkey]

Wow some of those judges reviews and rankings were brutal. Genuinely surprised at 3-4 of those entries that were below the line (even ignoring for the bias on the one I helped with)

[truth]

Was that the game where Heather Knight accused the Indian team of lying about the warnings? I seem to recall it got pretty unpleasant pretty quickly; so much emotion around Mankading.

That’s the one.

To cite current events: I am very gratified that Harshal Patel missed, and LSG won!