Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

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Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

"Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'... into the future." - S. Miller
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

Please take the time to type out the lyrics and put them thusly: viewtopic.php?t=12675
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

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Songs posted!
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by genecawley »

Add: Really like the vocoder here. I also really like the chorus/breakdown and the generally funky groove plus great drum and synth. Also love the backwards guitar. A lot to love here, obviously. Great job.

Balls To Monte: Listening now, it kinda reminds me of "Rubber Bullets" by 10cc. Kind of a fun retro-rock vibe. We include the words "Immovable Object" in this song, so we're also foretelling the extremely near future.

Carrier Wave: Ooh! Another group of fortunetellers. I applaud the use of "immovable object" here. It's the "in thing" right now. More of a soundscape than a song, but I really liked it anyway.

Dead Ambassadors: Alright! LOVE the message here and the delivery is particularly great. My favorite so far.

Frankie Big Face: What really sticks out the most here is the great chord progression and the synth work, both are excellent. Really strong lyric, and I love the guitar solo. Great job!

Hostess Mostess: Wow. This is a beautiful song. The vocals and guitar work are fantastic. Definitely a vote. Amazing!

The Idiot Kings: Really love the dark vibe of the song and the execution. Great, subtle slide guitar work. Love the overall sound of this one.

IRC USM: Release the Kraken!! Really like the production value on this one, especially the intro. The performance is excellent, and the overall effect is amazing. One of the best so far.

The Mellfire Trifecta: Another really good one. I love the odd time signature on this one. Perfectly performed and delivered. Great job. Another vote.

Notable Pups: Love the rhyming of "Sisyphus" with "missed the bus" [and I'm not making a joke; it's great]. Not much more to say except it's a great, solid song with a performance to match.

Spintown & Company: Great production and song. Damn. probably another vote. You people are killing me.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by the idiot king »

Add - Weirdo sprechstimme at its finest. There's something about a vocoder being used with a mostly instrumental backdrop that I didn't know I wanted in my life, but now I do.

Balls to Monte - It's great that you could easily submit this song again for the next fight, haha. Great lyrics!

Carrier Wave - Love me some IDM. I could've used a little more gonzoness on the drum programming but this is still really solid.

Dead Ambassadors - I just mentioned last week that I wanted more punky songs on Song Fight. Here we are! The vocals are a bit jumbled rhythmically but the hooks are there.

Frankie Big Face - This is hooky as all get out. Power pop can be tough to nail, but you've done it here. Definite vote.

Hostess Mostess - Absolutely love that chord progression. The lyrics and melody are great, but I find them to be a bit overpowering or underpowering in the mix at times. I think a bit more compression could have helped level out a few peaks that rise above the rest of the mix, especially in the chorus.

The Idiot Kings - Me. First time back here in a minute. I don't think I nailed a chorus melody down but I'm pretty dang happy with the lyrics, at least. Another song about trees and death.

IRS USM - Cthulhucore! I'd have loved to hear a bit more kick drum, boosting a bit around 8k might help bring out its "click" to work around the guitar frequencies a bit.This is great though, probably a vote. I noticed you were from CT, have you done the pilgrimage to Providence to see Lovecraft's haunts and grave?

The Mellfire Trifecta - Really enjoying that emphasis on the "and" rhythmically. Vocals were a bit loud for my taste but that's subjective so don't listen to me. Cool tune overall.

Notable Pups - Excellent subdued production and arrangement. I mean, coupled with great songwriting and lyrics this is an easy vote. This reminds me a bit of a band from Boston called Bon Savants that were teetering on "making it" but never quite sealed the deal. Their record Post-Rock Defends the Nation may be of interest to you.

Spintown & Company - For the concept and conveyance of lyrics, this song is perfect. Having said that, the general arena wherein this song lies is not my particular cup of tea. Don't take my not caring for that particular wing of pop-punk/emo as a negative because you very much set out to what you seemingly planned to do.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by Spintown »

For years now in SpinTunes, Nur Ein & Song Fight, if I do reviews I skip reviewing people who don't post lyrics. So if your not reviewed, that's why, but I'd be happy to add reviews if someone wants to go post their lyrics. I will try to generally rank them with the other reviewed songs though.

Frankie Big Face - Oh great, I get to get destroyed by you twice this week. ;p I can't really find anything I dislike about this. The music is interesting throughout, the use of the title was great, lyrically, vocally...I got nothing. I think I had you in a 3 way tie for third in my Nur Ein rankings with BSS & MP. Eventually I just randomly threw you three in there under my top 2. (it's not like I'm a judge ;p ) But this is clearly the winner of this Song Fight.

Balls To Monte - The cymbol crash & guitar solo were a little loud in the mix for me. I really like the feel of the song, very retro. If I could personally "greet the morning with a sucker punch" I'd do it every morning. I don't really have anything else to say other than this one was a lot of fun. Kinda off the wall fun song I like.

Notable Pups

Hostess Mostess

The Mellfire Trifecta - The chorus was kinda interesting. That 7 secondish effect that builds (1 minute in) just before the title use was memorable, but at the same time not very hookish. Was left wanting more from it. To me the vocals were solid, the music was enjoyable, but it needed a hook.

The Idiot Kings - Enjoyed the music a lot, but didn't really care for the lyrics. First 2 lines felt clunky, and I should know I've written clunky lines for 6 weeks in a row now in Nur Ein. I think you could have shaved this down by about 30 seconds. Good track though, it's the first I listened to, and the music set the bar high for the rest.

Dead Ambassadors

Add

IRC USM - Not 100% sure what it's about. Cultural, movie or other media reference? Liked the use of the title, I tend to mark down people who just write songs inspired by it without using it (I KNOW IT'S NOT REQUIRED). The song makes me feel like some evil madman is awakening Godzilla to come cleanse the Earth of all the "bad" people. If that was the goal, you hit the bullseye.

Carrier Wave

Voted For: Frankie Big Face, Balls To Monte, Notable Pups & myself (cringe I know, but so was my song...)
genecawley wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2024 5:57 pm
Spintown & Company: Great production and song. Damn. probably another vote. You people are killing me.
Thanks for reviewing & maybe a vote. If I just get a few votes that's a win in my book.
the idiot king wrote:
Tue Jun 11, 2024 6:37 am
Spintown & Company - For the concept and conveyance of lyrics, this song is perfect. Having said that, the general arena wherein this song lies is not my particular cup of tea. Don't take my not caring for that particular wing of pop-punk/emo as a negative because you very much set out to what you seemingly planned to do.
Thanks, I'm not much of a lyricist, and I've deservingly been getting my fair share of critique in Nur Ein (this is also my Nur Ein entry) thus far. Glad I got 1 song which hit someone the right way lyrically. Appreciate you doing reviews.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by Mostess »

Dead Ambassadors: As an unapologetic member of the administrative class, I would like to cordially say a big f*** y** to you and the rest of these stupid punks I have to work to keep in line every day. But I will definitely vote for this and put it on my running playlist because I swear you helped me burn an extra 10 calories today. So hats off to you and happy Father's Day, you piece of crap! (BTW I really like the way the bass and guitar double the melody to make that weird parallel perfect interval sound that haunts all genuine punk. Heartfelt, crafty, and awesome. Nice work!)

Ball to Monte: "Good old rock, nothing beats rock!" I'm gonna play this loudly several times on Father's Day when I'm drinking beer and floating down the river. The production on this is really smooth and I love the sound of the vocals. (Is this how you mic your voice normally or did you work to get that sound?) The progression on the chorus is really cool. And I like the lyric about the night school course. It's clever but not cutesy, the genre is on target, and it's fun to listen to. A definite vote! I wish you a happy Fathers Day!

IRC USM: This is a clear favorite. The 5/4s is strong with you guys. It has a really hooky melody. Even though it aggressively tries to not be a pop song. The imagery is cool. The way the imagery ties to the music is cool. The guitar playing is cool. The use of the title is cool. Happy Father's Day as the monster rises from the depths to drown us all.

The Melfire Trifecta: Another clear favorite! I really enjoy the syncopation and the buttery adult contemporary stylings of a late 1970s running calling Wildfire or whatever. It keeps pushing with a nice head of steam and keeps you listening. I'm singing along. Excellent songwriting, excellent production, excellent performance. Pat yourself on the back and crack open a Schlitz. Happy Father's Day!

Add: Nerds on acid! I really like the production on this one, especially the backward/forward guitar. The songwriting is clever with an always breaking meter. The opening verse really draws you in and there's something well constructed about the rhythm; I'd like to see it written out. Plus it's a really good performance, kudos, to all. And I hope you have a happy Fathers Day.

Frankie Big Face: I like the driving rhythm and the syncopation before the chorus is great. This kind of reminds me of when XTC turned into Dukes of Stratosphear for a while. The guitar work is really cool. The drum sound great, and that arpeggio thing is sweet. Sadly, it feels kind of lifeless. Maybe it needs some dynamic variability: a soft part, or a section where the rhythm breaks into half or double time. But great shit as always from the Big Face. I can't tell you how happy I am to hear your voice again. Happy Fathers Day to you, good sir!

Notable Pups: Now this is my kind of melody! Great use of rhythm, melodic skips, and dissonance against the baseline. I love the "what else can we do" build up to the climax. It's compelling, and the guitar sounds great. The whole of it feels a little flat to me though. I think the tempo is just a little too moderato. If you slowed it down or sped it up it might inspire a little more passion in the performance. It's great work, though and Happy Father's Day! (BTW, rhyming "Sisyphus" with "missed the bus" is too funny for this song and I couldn't stop chuckling.)

Spintown & Company: The beginning sounds like a commercial, probably for instant coffee or something.
And as it goes on it doesn't disappoint as a solid piece of commercial art. There's a lot of talent here, but not a lot of heart. The prosidy of the lyrics sometimes breaks entirely ("sim-PLEE a matter of time" is particularly ugly). There's fun in there and a kind of awkward joy, but I know you can do better. We have a couple like this on our record as well (c.f. our "At the Arcade") so I know of what I speak. Sorry sport, here's to next time, and have a happy Father's Day nonetheless!

Carrier Wave: This feels kind of empty to me. I like the idea of a dance track and the intro is atmospheric and cool. But there's no there there. Once rhythm starts up, it kind of breaks down and then comes back and breaks down and comes back until it kind of falls over and sputters. Like that lawnmower I need to replace. Here's to a happy Father's Day!

Idiot Kings: I did not like this, not one little bit. It's graph paper color by numbers. Look into buying a set of Brian Eno's creativity cards. It's blocky and predictable and dull. Rework it to introduce a new texture part way through the song, or make something disappear and then come back again. Help the listener maintain interest. Get loud then soft, get high then low. It's SongFight! Next time I want to hear you take a chance and try something out of the 4/4 moderato comfy place. But hey, cheers for throwing a hat in the ring, and I wish you a most excellent Fathers Day!

And the self-assessment:

Hostess Mostess: I think it's a pretty good first draft but a flubbed execution. Lately I've been trying to write songs that I can record in a single take (with maybe some touches added on). This time my first take sounded awful and there was too much bleed-through between the vocal and the guitar tracks to just mute one out and redo it. And for some stupid reason I didn't want to do the whole thing again. So I just kept adding pieces to it like a desperate decoupage artist. I like the song though and I'll probably re-record it. Any suggestions for how to make it groovier, or cooler, or sweeter would be appreciated. But in the meantime I hear my wife is going to roast a pork butt and I may have whiskey money in the budget. Happy Father's Day to one and all!

And go listen to the Fathers Day anthem written by my youngest way too many years ago! Happy Fathers Day!
Last edited by Mostess on Wed Jun 12, 2024 2:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by Mostess »

Spintown wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 1:28 pm
For years now in SpinTunes, Nur Ein & Song Fight, if I do reviews I skip reviewing people who don't post lyrics. So if your not reviewed, that's why,
Oversight corrected.

Carry on.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by the idiot king »

Mostess wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 2:03 pm
I did not like this, not one little bit. It's graph paper color by numbers... It's blocky and predictable and dull.
Rude, but ok.
Mostess wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 2:03 pm
Look into buying a set of Brian Eno's creativity cards.
I own a deck. If you'd looked at my comment in the pre-fight this is my first fight in a while and I wanted to ease back into things. I get the feedback that you're giving, but phrasing makes a huge difference between constructive criticism and just coming across as mean spirited and I don't think that's what you were going for.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by Spintown »

Mostess wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 2:03 pm
Spintown & Company: The beginning sounds like a commercial, probably for instant coffee or something.
And as it goes on it doesn't disappoint as a solid piece of commercial art. There's a lot of talent here, but not a lot of heart. The prosidy of the lyrics sometimes breaks entirely ("sim-PLEE a matter of time" is particularly ugly). There's fun in there and a kind of awkward joy, but I know you can do better. We have a couple like this on our record as well (c.f. our "At the Arcade") so I know of what I speak. Sorry sport, here's to next time, and have a happy Father's Day nonetheless!
Well the talent is with Joe more so than me, but I'll try to do better next time. You're far from the first to have issue with my lyrics, so it's clearly a problem. Tempted to include the line "What's the best part of waking up" in my next song. ;p Thanks for the review.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by genecawley »

Mostess wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 2:03 pm

Ball to Monte: "Good old rock, nothing beats rock!" I'm gonna play this loudly several times on Father's Day when I'm drinking beer and floating down the river. The production on this is really smooth and I love the sound of the vocals. (Is this how you mic your voice normally or did you work to get that sound?) The progression on the chorus is really cool. And I like the lyric about the night school course. It's clever but not cutesy, the genre is on target, and it's fun to listen to. A definite vote! I wish you a happy Fathers Day!
Thanks for the kind words. I bought a Shure SM7B a couple years ago and am getting gradually better at using it. I probably use too much compression, but I guess it's better than not enough. I sing on a bit of an angle and at a little bit of a distance [basically, a trick I learned from watching Glenn Case's livestreams] and it seems to yield a decent sound overall. Probably more of an answer than you wanted. ; )

As for your song, I really liked it a lot. I only wish I could make that good of a first draft. Happy Father's Day to you too.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by Mostess »

the idiot king wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 2:40 pm
phrasing makes a huge difference between constructive criticism and just coming across as mean spirited and I don't think that's what you were going for.
Hey nothing personal, mate. I gave your song 4 close listens today. I gave every song at least 4 and I don't do reviews unless I can devote the time to do that. My review contained constructive ideas and honestly represented my reaction. I'm no genius, just one fellow songwriter applying a critical ear. Feel free to ignore me.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

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Spintown wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 2:45 pm
Well the talent is with Joe more so than me, but I'll try to do better next time. You're far from the first to have issue with my lyrics, so it's clearly a problem. Tempted to include the line "What's the best part of waking up" in my next song. ;p Thanks for the review.
Lol I liked the lyrics, but broken prosidy always sticks out. I think the quick turn-around of SongFight makes it particularly hard to write lyrics that feel cozy in their melody. It takes a lot of sing-throughs to get that lived-in feel.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by Mostess »

genecawley wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 3:27 pm
I bought a Shure SM7B a couple years ago and am getting gradually better at using it. I probably use too much compression, but I guess it's better than not enough. I sing on a bit of an angle and at a little bit of a distance [basically, a trick I learned from watching Glenn Case's livestreams] and it seems to yield a decent sound overall. Probably more of an answer than you wanted. ; )
Great answer! And we could all learn from Glenn. Maybe a SongFight master class series?

I have a Shure 58-beta that I use sometimes and I always sing off-axis (especially at open-mic night because those things are gross. I have a pile of little cloth mic condoms but I never remember to bring one). Also, plosives. The compression you used works well on this track I think, though my old man ears aren't the best judge of that.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by Spintown »

Mostess wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 4:34 pm
Lol I liked the lyrics, but broken prosidy always sticks out. I think the quick turn-around of SongFight makes it particularly hard to write lyrics that feel cozy in their melody. It takes a lot of sing-throughs to get that lived-in feel.
Ah ok. Well the turnaround for this does indeed make it a bit tougher. I normally spend at least a week just on lyrics before sending them off. Sometimes more if I'm struggling. I'm doing all my lyrics for Nur Ein in 1 day, then passing them off to my partner for the contest to do everything else. This was a Nur Ein/Song Fight tie in.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

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Mostess wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 4:27 pm
Hey nothing personal, mate. I gave your song 4 close listens today. I gave every song at least 4 and I don't do reviews unless I can devote the time to do that. My review contained constructive ideas and honestly represented my reaction. I'm no genius, just one fellow songwriter applying a critical ear. Feel free to ignore me.
Oh no worries at all! I appreciate any and all feedback but when the beginning read the way it did I was just taken aback. I reread it and I might’ve been quick to jump, so I apologize. Thanks for the genuine listens and response, hopefully you’ll dig next week’s track more, I’ve got a more Albini-esque thing cooking.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

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Mostess wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 2:03 pm
And go listen to the Fathers Day anthem written by my youngest way too many years ago! Happy Fathers Day!
That was awesome.
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Re: Cherish the time as it slowly disappears (Unstoppable Force reviews)

Post by Jefff »

Spintown wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2024 1:28 pm
For years now in SpinTunes, Nur Ein & Song Fight, if I do reviews I skip reviewing people who don't post lyrics.
Weird, but you're not the first to invent extra rules for Song Fight.
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