The Idle Rich

[j$]

by Johnny Cashpoint

Your poverty is just a rash
Buy some cream, gone in a flash.
The only benefit to cash
Is wanton greed, give it a smash!

What is poverty? you forget.
Stub your toe, just buy new leg!
You are like Cher, no real flesh left;
A plastic person, no regrets

I won't outlive the idle rich;
You'll find my body in a ditch
Before I ever buy Smeg Fridge -
That's the truth - oh life's a bitch!
I will not live as idle rich -
Spending big just does not fit
Into my life of urban grit;
Spend spend spend til you're sick of it

Hire yourself a spare factotum
To carry round your swole left scrotum
On the weekends, on a cushion.
Toilet time, he'll help with pushing ...

Cellulite because you got fat?
Botox in the buttocks will soon fix that
Liposuction -a caveat;
Hidden costs to make your stomach flat.

CHORUS

[Jerkatorium]

The Idle Rich
by Hanky Code

I wake each morning when the drapes are parted,
and that’s the way my day has always started.
I guess a butler does it, but
he’s gone before I’m up.
I'm up.

The day’s clothes are laid out for me to wear.
They're mostly drab yet slightly debonair.
Some hands appear from nowhere to
complete a Windsor knot
A knot.

Butler or valet,
footman or housemaid,
I don’t know their names.
I don’t know nothing.
I don’t know their trades or tricks,
and I don’t know which is which.
I wear my name with pride,
yes I’m the idle rich.

My driver drives me to the restaurant.
My driver drives me anywhere I want.
He takes me to
the coffee shop
where I can watch
you top my coffee off.

Butler or valet,
footman or housemaid,
I don’t know their names.
I don’t know nothing.
I don’t know their trades or tricks,
and I don’t know which is which.
I wear my name with pride,
yes I’m the idle rich.