Get Lost, Sheila (Oh, Britney Reviews)

[Bolio]

I wanna deedle deedle dee. A deedle deedle do.

[nyjm]

andre was here at midnight
- uneremarkalbe lyrics
- poorly sung
- tries to rock out, but lacks the proper tension

blake walker
- mwahahahahaha! of course, somebody had to do this medley, but good job.
- wow. how many songs can we reference in 1:14?

noise brigade
- kind of nostalgic for me, actually
- but the 3rd verse just falls apart
- this is an interesting demo; rewrite the 3rd verse and the chorus, give it a hook and call again

sell crazy
- good rock out beginning
- there's something odd about the vocal rhythm in the 1st verse

small town mike
- competent, but unengaging

wreckdom
- the vox harmonies seem to be trying to do pink floyd but fail horribly
- sounds like the drunk from the simpsons...
- ok, the last bit made me laugh

[j$]

AWHAM - Great bass. Dig the apparent 'sloppyness' which is actually a lot more considered than it seems at first listen. I like your voice on this until you start going for a high notes. Turn it up, and drop the backign vocals would help, i think. Splendid - it's like the aural equivalent of a Jackson Pollock painting - a splurge! And I really the Fall-isms of your stuff. You have a great imagination, perhaps some of the ideas could be reigned in. We must collaborate sometime ... CONTENDER

??? - to smugly quote the FAQ about covers, "No covers are allowed, unless you are so creative with it that we can't tell it's a cover". On that front you fail. I have nothing else of use to say about this song, except "tags!" If you can't be bothered, I can't bothered ....

Noise Brigade - I hear this as Green Day without the rhythm section. Nice voice for that genre. Not bad at all.

Sell Crazy - I have a vague recollection of you slagging Britney off in a Likely Lads song. I'm probably wrong. EDIT: I am wrong. It was Chris De Burgh - same difference, i guess [/EDIT] Do we really need updated British Folk songs? I never liked 'Scarborough Fair' first time round ... Ahhh, ignore me, I just don't get it, as usual. No doubt it will win lots of votes.

Smalltown Mike - I misread your name as 'Smalltown Dyke' which is a much better name. I like your voice a lot and the backing track is great, they just don't seem quite right for each other. The vocal is too slow and laid back for the Ramones'esque backing track. And your lyric is a bit trite, with those cheesy rhymes, which is ironic for a song slagging off the pop 'goddess' that is La Spears.

Wreckdom - got bored 53 seconds in, unfortunately.

Remarkably, looks like I'm voting for AWHAM.

[Niveous]

Niv's review paragraph

Second review of the day and I decide to go for the "Hey Britney" fight. Looking at the lineup, I'm scared. First up Mike of the Smalltowns. A rock ode to the wonders and blunders that is Our Lady of Spears. This is bland. If you're going to lambast the pop princess, have some fun with it. This is just bland and who gives a damn about her righteous website. Next Wreckdom, who did a great Britney cover for the GoM 2005 (seek it out!). Who's that singing? They sound like one of Kermit the frog's swampmarsh friends. Why pick that voice of all voices. You know that choking & dying sound towards the end. Ditto. Next, Noise Brigade with g^2 emo. It's just random blabber about stuff that none of us are going to give a damn about. At least give us an interesting story. Next Sell Crazy. SLEW (Smells like easy win). I like the Police feel to some of the guitar work. The song is well made though it felt a bit short to me but that's ok, I think that's just me wanting more of a good thing. If Sell Crazy ever goes on a US Tour, I'm there. All their tunes scream out live show. Next Andre WHAM. Thanks for experimenting but this one didn't pay off. It's all over the place like doing a connect-the-dots only to find out it makes no picture. Lastly before I vote for Sell Crazy, Blake Walker. A minute of references about Britney interspersed with a Weird Al lite take on Toni Basil. You get this week's "well at least you had fun making it" award. Vote time. Sell Crazy. That's it. No silver. No bronze. Just Sell Crazy. And, it's a shame. It's a fun title and I think people choked.

[gduncan]

Andre Was Here At Midnight - this song sounds very disjointed, instead of all the guitar and vocal lines working together they seem to clash. The playing is also sloppy in places and so the rhythm gets pulled in different directions. I do like the initial drum beat and guitar line at the start. The section when the bass comes in is also ok. Overall the song needs more direction, if you chop out the bits that don't work, tidy everything up and then focus on arranging it into a coherent structure this will work better.

Blake Walker - I can't think of much to say about this other than it was a mildly amusing mishmash of songs I don't like.

Noise Brigade - you've got the core of a song here. I think what it now needs is more variation, extra chord sequences and nice transitions between them, along with changes in melody. Listen to the songs that you like and try copying their structures.

Small Town Mike - not really grabbing me. The rhythm and melody seem a little constrained. The start-stop sections make the song more interesting, you need to add more stuff like that. If would be nice if there was more variation in the instrumentation, maybe drop out the guitar for a bit in sections.

Wreckdom - this is weird. Some of the music playing in the background sounds cool, especially the guitar sound. I really hate the vocals though, so that turns me off the song.

Thanks for the reviews everyone, I've done some replies below.

- there's something odd about the vocal rhythm in the 1st verse

The verse is in 5/4 time which may be why you find it odd.

I have a vague recollection of you slagging Britney off in a Likely Lads song. I'm probably wrong. EDIT: I am wrong. It was Chris De Burgh - same difference, i guess [/EDIT]

The song wasn't about Britney Spears. It was about a guy who was always procrastinating meeting an American girl who tells him to stop talking shit and get to the point.

Do we really need updated British Folk songs? I never liked 'Scarborough Fair' first time round ... Ahhh, ignore me, I just don't get it, as usual. No doubt it will win lots of votes.

I think your trying to read too much into what we do. There's no real planning to it, we don't try and write stuff in a particular style or vein. We just try to have fun and somehow the songs just turn out the way they do.

The song is well made though it felt a bit short to me but that's ok, I think that's just me wanting more of a good thing.

Thanks for the nice review. I liked the unusual structure of song and I think it may have lost some of that unusualness if we'd let it run on much longer. That's why I cut it fairly short.

Cheers,

Gareth.

[MintyHandy]

Noise Brigade

For some reason, the initial guitar notes made me think "brit-ney...brit-ney...brit-ney..." -- can't imagine why. Heh. Your standard four-chord proto-rocker. Somewhere between The Dead Milkmen and The Presidents of the United States and The Violent Femmes. Nothing lyrically going on here, though, unless you like the silly. Which sometimes I do. I would have here if it had gone somewhere, but it just sort of digs a hole for itself and sits in it.

Hmm. I suspect you made this all up as you recorded it, then went back and re-recorded (or cut 'n pasted) the opening strings at the end. Am I right? Oh, and it's short enough that I heard it three or four times before I finished this feedback, and I always like the shorter songs, so thanks for that.

Smalltown Mike

This song reminds me of someone else's entry in "Ancient", not because the songs are similar, but because there's the same lack of energy and involvement that suggests everyone is phoning it in. Where's the passion, the excitement? Solid drums, though. With a bass and some enthusiasm, this might have been a better song. If you're going to call Britney Spears' music garbage, though, you'd better truly bring it.

Side note: why am I defending Britney Spears?

Oh, and they do photoshop the most horrific things, don't they?

Andre Was Here At Midnight

Shades of Ironman on that guitar lick. Why does your voice remind me of David Byrne? You know, from 0:30 to 00:36 the song was better than before or after; the drums and guitar wasn't yet in my face, and the bass had come in, and what you were chanting wasn't necessarily pleasant, but it worked.

In other words, I wish this song was just a loop of the 0:30-0:36 part. Heh. oh, and I admire your committment to the singing style you chose. Like the entry by Noise Brigade, this feels made-up-on-the-spot, and like Smalltown Mike's entry, you can't insult Britney Spears or her music unless you truly bring it.

Side note: oops, I did it again. Heh.

WreckDoM

strong start, I hope it continues. Ah, dammit, I was hoping this was going to break out of the intro into a good song, but then the kermit voice completely killed it for me. Makes me feel like it's a joke song I'm not supposed to bother taking seriously, like an early morning DJ might create. I'm done here.

Sell Crazy

Strong intro, interesting tempo change, and...the ghost of Jethro Tull slips in from behind the curtin! The odd key signature is intriguing, but hard to listen through. The chorus, on the other hand, is well-crafted and leaves me only wishing you had less of a strange accent in your vocal delivery.

If the whole song was in the opening tempo, and you didn't sing with the "fahst" accent, I would be a fan.

Side note: The songs in this fight are a lot shorter than some of the other fights, or they just seem shorter. Either way, it's a good thing.

Blake Walker

Holy jeebus criminey, this is funny. Best. Coverfight. Ever. I enjoyed and appreciated every single second of this. Also, it was nice to hear someone NOT bash Britney Spears, on the contrary this was, in some odd way, a tribute. If you had another week, how many more songs do you think you could have gotten in there? No vote (due to undeniable coverfight-ness), but thanks for doing this.

Side note: What's up with all the swearing in this fight? Four out of six!

- - -

Wow, this is a tough fight, because the only one I really enjoyed without reservation was Blake Walker's coverfight medley. I'm going to a meeting, during which I will ignore my coworkers and think about who should win this fight.

[j$]

The song wasn't about Britney Spears. It was about a guy who was always procrastinating meeting an American girl who tells him to stop talking shit and get to the point.

I know - I was being facetious. Sue me.

I think your trying to read too much into what we do. There's no real planning to it, we don't try and write stuff in a particular style or vein. We just try to have fun and somehow the songs just turn out the way they do.

Ah, and you've hit the nail on the head for me why I don't get what you do. Don't get me wrong I can appreciate your musicality (is that a word?) but that approach / attitude has always been anethema (sp?) to me. Fair enough. At least I can rest easy now. It's been bugging me to shit the last couple of weeks how I can hear well-played, energetic songs like yours have been and not feel anything. My bad. It shouldn't, and won't, bother you

j$

[Smalltown Mike]

Thanks for your insightful reviews of my Oh Britney.
Unfortunately (for me, that is) the only criticism I've disagreed with is that Smalltown Dyke is a better name than Smalltown Mike. Everything else is pretty much bang-on.
I hope to be able to redeem myself with my Pasty White Man in the upcoming fight.

[joshw]

Scoring Key: (Production, Performance, Song)


Andre WHAM (6, 6, 6)

There are little snippets I like, such as where the bass guitar comes in, and the fact that the song is in an unexpected swing feel.

Somebody without ID3 tags (7, 7, 5)

Clever 80s + Britney transposition. Definitely not a keeper, but vaguely fun.

Noise Brigade (6, 6, 5)

The melody's ok. The guitar is very cliche and there's nothing else to musically latch onto. The dynamic range is way too much - the loud parts clip pretty bad. Lyrically pretty bad.

Sell Crazy (7, 7, 7)

It took a little too long to get to the lyrics, but the intro was kinda cool. The singing, not so much. The time signature funkiness in the verses is fun. Crappy ending.

Smalltown Mike (6, 6, 6)

This isn't bad, but there's something about it that turns me off. The performance is too "blah" - it might help to have more energy in it. The music isn't very interesting, it's just four ho-hum chords repeating over the same drum beat. From verse to verse, there's no difference. It doesn't move anywhere. The "your music is such garbage" angle doesn't work, either, irony would make your point much better.

Wreckdom (7, 6, 5)

"Hizzy" was funny.


*shrugs* I guess all these throwaway titles lately breed throwaway songs. "Ancient" is the only title this week that has vague potential for serious songs.

[NeilThrun]

Andre-Nope, lame guitar and vocals. Keep trying.

Blakewalker-Eh, really weird. Verry interesting. Great outro.

Noise Brigade-Crazy Emo kid. I like it, simply because I know what your talking about. Some mixing issues, try to get the clipping down a bit.

Sell Crazy- Sweet vocal harmonies and melodies, as if I knew what the difference was. Alright guitar and lyrics. But im not sold.

Smalltown mike-Cool guitar riff. Alright lyrics, worse voice.

Wreckdom-Every time you right a new song, I'm always comparing it "Im with steve now" which was awesome. But this just crazy. Crazy guitar and vocals. Sweet rhyming.

[Smalltown Mike]

My vote goes to Sell Crazy. Very listenable, I dig it. I like the tempo changes a lot; they provide a really nice variety. And for what it's worth, my two-year-old danced to it and got angry when it ended. Looks like we'll be listening to this one for a while.

Yep, I just listened to it again and I really like it. Nice work.

[Niveous]

I say we should petition to have Britney name her baby after the winner of this fight.

[Smalltown Mike]

An earlier version of my lyrics include the lines:

"You rocked out without me
And got knocked up without me."

But then my wife informed me she wasn't officially pregnant yet.

Um, not that those lines would have turned my song into gold, mind you.

[erik]

I say we should petition to have Britney name her baby after the winner of this fight.

Wreckdom Federline has a certain ring to it.

*vote*

[Niveous]

Wreckdom Spears would be better though. It sounds like some kinky German sex toy.

"Oh lover. My ass is sore from the paddles. I don't think I can take anymore".

"But you will. Get ready to feel the wreckdom spears".

[Richard WreckdoM]

Alright! I like the WreckdoM SpearS name. It sounds like something that you'd have to have removed because of a nasty parasitic infection that leaves you hollow and walking funny. "Doctor, do I have to have my ass up in the air like this. It's getting uncomfortable after all these hours." "Be patient son. I have to pull out all of the WreckdoM SpearS or in a few weeks this will happen all over again." Alright enough of that.

A little daily affirmation to all of my songfighting compadres. Look in the mirror, come on. you can't be that hideous. Well, maybe, but do it. Repeat after me: "I will make music that I would be happy to listen to. If I write a song that I think is trash, I won't subject the world to it, because I like the world and there's already enough unlistenable crap out there. Mr. Big for example..."


I could go on and on, but it's review time!


Small town Mike: I'm pretty sure I like the message here. Lyrics work pretty well. I think that this could use some mixing, then finally, just before submittal, it could have used a re-recording of the vocals. You don't seem into it. Maybe you want to sound that way. Some people out there really like that lethargic sound. This is sort of in between though. Like you want to be serious, but aren't in the mood. Overall this has more good than bad. Good for a one week effort.

Sell Crazy: If I had stock in this, I'd be selling like crazy too. I wish I could give constructive feedback on this. Are you trying to sound like Neil Young? It sounds like it. The melodic fluctuation sounds like it's not yours. Production sounds pretty good. It sounds pretty professional until the vocals come in. I think that the vocals could use a healthy EQing, but that's just me.

Blake Walker: This is like bad karaoke. Did the backing sounds come from a Karaoke Solid Gold CD? This mix is pretty atrocious. Meh.

Noise Brigade: With a band name like this, I expected more than Guytar. I'm bored with this sort of thing in person unless there's clever comedic timing. This does absolutely nothing for me. I hope it does something for you. You have more confidence than I do, but that's only a small part of what it takes. The good news is, it's one that you either have or you don't. Don't get discouraged, but don't get stuck in this style either.

Andre was here at Midnight: This is all over the place and the vocals are very off key. Off any key. It really sounds like you just realized that you could record through the computer and you're riding on the thrill of hearing your voice, etc. louder than usual through speakers. Sorry it doesn't do me anything.

WreckdoM: I'm biased. I love the samples. I've seen complaints about Geoff WreckdoM's Kermitesque voice, but I think it really works, The singer being the "Weiner Kid" and all. I like this. It could be better, but I really like the production. It has a mesh of chaos, yet it's ordered. That's King Colon for you. A musical mathematician I tells you.

Thank you all for your participation. Live long and Nanu Nanu.

[Niveous]

Mr. Big for example...

C'mon. Paul Gilbert plays solos using a cordless drill. That's gotta count for something.

First, J$ hates on Power Station and now this.

[Ross]

Sell crazy got my vote. not much of a review, I guess I felt most of the others went for a cheap laugh here or there (or all the way through). Sell crazy seemed like the most fully formed concept, especially outside of the obvious Britney spears references. i appreciated that.

[A_Likely_Mike]

Sell crazy got my vote. not much of a review, I guess I felt most of the others went for a cheap laugh here or there (or all the way through). Sell crazy seemed like the most fully formed concept, especially outside of the obvious Britney spears references. i appreciated that.

Thank you

Also, being compared to Neil Young in any way (derogatory or otherwise) makes me happy. I love Neil Young. Listen to "After the Goldrush" and argue with me

Mike (1/3 of Sell Crazy)

[EightLeggedOedipus]

Andre Was Here at Midnight
--- Massive suckage right off the bat. Bizarre line. Lyrics don't flow with beat. Off tune. ---

Blake Walker
+++ Clever +++
--- Not that well executed, pointless fuck at the end ---

Noise Brigade
--- Loud pops. GnG. High school love lyrics ---
+++ I rather like the syncopated part +++

Sell Crazy
+++ Oh sweet! SC's back with a wicked tempo-shifting rocker +++
--- Featuring the gothic 80s Irish pansy on lead vocals ---
/// This fuck is well-received. Somehow seems to authenticate this song. ///

Small Town Mike
--- Small town zoloft hobbyist ---
+++ "Your website is righteous but your songs are obnoxious!" +++

WreckdoM
/// I usually know how I'll feel on Wreckdom songs if geoff's delivery makes me chuckle. This did. ///
--- A subpar beat this time ---
+++ But the singing is so cracked out it's awesome +++

Vote -> Sell Crazy

[MintyHandy]

Better late than never -- don't even know why I read these older threads...

[as an affirmation] "I will make music that I would be happy to listen to. If I write a song that I think is trash, I won't subject the world to it, because I like the world and there's already enough unlistenable crap out there."

Funny you should say that, as the only one of my five submissions (one pending) that I did NOT listen to at least twenty times in a row after completing the final mix was "We Are All Made Of Strings", which by far received the worst critical reception to date. Usually I make things that entertain the hell out of me so much that I can't help but listen over and over, but that one I got bored with right away. So there is truth in that there what y'all say.

Of course, this is subject to change if you hate my "A&A" entry, because it's amusing the hell out of me as I write this, a few hours after I finished it.