Today's update. I am learning about the live music industry. Apparently the standard response to any and all booking inquiries is to not return any of my calls. Perhaps the allure of a house that is packed with people and good bands from around the world who don't have to be paid a dime is just too much for the typical hospitaller and/or performance space owner. The majority of people to whom I have presented, repeatedly, this fabulous proposal have been so dumbfounded that they were unable to compose themselves sufficiently to form a reply. I am still holding out hope on a few outstanding calls but things are starting to look grim.
However,
it is still not the time for panickry! I have a PLAN C, which I am reluctant to invoke but will soon if necessary, and that is to rent the facilities of one of our many fine local fraternal organizations. It is not particularly cool that it may come to this, because, for example, the "VFW Hall" or the "Elks" is not a very glamourous-sounding sort of place for a concert, and will probably cost more money than I would ideally like to have to give to someone else. On the bright side, such a venue would combine two great things that are not easy to find together: cash bar and all-ages show. Actually there are a couple of such places in great locations that do regular concerts-- mostly hardcore and such because of the lack of age restrictions. And if it's good enough for a bunch of teenage punks that could kick my ass, it oughta be okay for us, right?
There is also a PLAN D but you don't want to know about it.
You can help! For all you nice local folks who said, "ooh, I'd love to help you out" when I signed up for this gig, here is your chance. If you know of a venue that might want to host a concert or two,
and you have enough of a connection with said venue that you could actually make it happen: by all means, give me a call asap. This is probably nobody but it doesn't hurt to ask. "How about Place X? They are kind of cool" is not gonna help me here, I'm afraid. Here are examples of what I am looking for:
"How about Place X? I own it."
"How about Place X? My mom is their booking agent."
"How about Place X? I saved the owner's life, twice, and he/she ows me a favor."
"How about Place X? I am a Mafia crime boss and can make things happen."
Okay, at this point I should confess that I don't really expect anything, I only wanted to rant a little bit. I just want this weekend to be the awesomest thing ever for all comers and every small setback is magnified in my chemically-imbalanced and marginally-functional brain.
I would like to end this on a happy note, so here is
a rough picture of what I would look like if I was a Lego person instead of a human. Everyone likes Legos! (I don't have quite that much hair, or a flying-V, but whacha gonna do?)
