Uh...why did i make this thread? (Trouble Concentrating...)

Post by **Spud** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 10:32 am

Right

j$ · Post by j$ » Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:37 am

This is a good, if a little rock-heavy, fight

Cow Exchange - yeah, this is great - I'm jumping around! I was playing with google talk today, put in 'Hall and Oates' and got 'I know what you did last summer' over and over again! I wonder what comes up if i put in Cow Exchange - 'CONTENDERCONTENDERCONTENDER ...'

Echobox - it's a bit bassy, too much verb? Actually it's probably echo! Vocals are quiet but lovely. The mix is slightly drab and it's making the song suffer as a result. Id'd like to hear a crisper edge to this then it would almost a Peaches / beatbox prophet feel to it. As it is I'm wandering off at about 1.40ish ... really nice song buried in there, mind.

EddieBangs - This starts off as one of those Seattle mid-90s bands - like Soundgarden or someone - jammy feel to the opening - I don't like that one crash sound - it's a bit squished - as soon as the voice comes in, I am back in Eddie heaven. This is really good because it is so close to being Nickelback and the fact it isn't makes it even more enjoyable! I'm hoping at 1.37 that it's gonna go all out rawk - which it almost does at 1.50 but the tempo is a little downbeat to really lift me up on the trip. Shame that because it's almost fabulously vote-worthy.

Glory Hole - Yeah, that's a good sound at the beginning. Snare rolls always give me a chubby. Well not a full one, but you know what I mean Structurally a little pedesterian and the (live?) recording means the quality's not so high, but I like the song.

Kama Sutra - I love goofy blipcore. I love your voice in relation to it as well. I mean it's thin in the design and the keyboard is too loud in the mix, but the made-at-home feel of it, and the way you manage to invest a sense of belief in your vocal take is winning me over. It also makes a nice change after two grunt'n'roll songs.

MonorailRT - 'monorail monorail MONORAIL!' - that bass is a bit slappy for my tastes and there's some sound artefact on the vocal which distracts me. But that's a great Human League style melody on the chorus - I wish there was a little bit more musical deruitrius off the beat in the background. Like well anything but bass and drums. But it's well produced, and when the key comes in I am happy. And your voice is sexy. Say 'schtick' to me, baby!

MyVirtualBand.Com - VOMMMMIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!! Well-played well- recorded white funk / jazz! I am trapped on the wrong side of the 70s and the ice-cubes are chinking in the long glasses while I stare forlornlythrough the frosted glass at the punk band playing across the street .... sorry, it's a personal thing. I really don't want to hear this any more - just not my bag, musically, unless it does something interesting with the genre - and this is 'pastiche becomes parody' to these ears. Well realised though.

Phunt Your Friends - Oh now that's a bad start. That noise is just irritating - not challenging just irritating. I can't concentrate (natch) so I stop listening, you win your little victory against the 'masses' - iot's a shame because everything else sounds erally really interesting, especially the voice / gibberings .....

Smalltown Mike - damn this sounds good - better quality of the mix than the usual! I'm banging my head - I wish it wasn't semi-spoken all the way through - I'd like to hear some soaring on the chorus. But the lack of variety in the vocal stylings is losing me. The lyric is quite entertaining - some great phrases in there!

Let's see, shall we, if MyVirtualfriendflood.com can ease their way past so many good songs, and specifically the Cow Exchange, who I am voting for.

tonetripper · Post by **tonetripper** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:41 am

Awwww shucks..... missed the deadline.... oh well here's the link of draft's rendition of I'm Having Trouble Concentrating. thehipcola on guitars and other extraneous instruments. if you all find time to review or just listen that would be great. enjoy.

http://www.tonetripper.com/music/draft_ihtc.mp3

j$ · Post by j$ » Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:48 am

Tonetripper - this is a great backing track - could do with some Beck-style chanting sporadically. I wouldn't have voted for it for two reasons - 1. instrumental - 2. it sounds like you're concentrating too much! Oh I like the whispering but the jammy breakdown in the middle is too late - something a bit more focused. Overall I really like the funk and great mix, but it oddly lacks cohesion as a song. I feel like I am watching Weather report on a bad qualudes trip, really getting into it for their last improv song at the end of the night, and no-one wants to stop playing, but the audience really need to go catch their bus and they're getting a bit restless ... if you know what I mean ... no, probably not - i am not sure I do!

Post by **Spud** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:09 pm

draft entry added to the fight.

DELETED · Post by **DELETED** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:08 pm

DELETED

tonetripper · Post by **tonetripper** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:48 pm

j$ wrote:Tonetripper - I feel like I am watching Weather report on a bad qualudes trip, really getting into it for their last improv song at the end of the night, and no-one wants to stop playing, but the audience really need to go catch their bus and they're getting a bit restless ... if you know what I mean ... no, probably not - i am not sure I do!

That is the funniest thing I have ever seen reviewed in Songfight!, for a long time, written, or something I've been a part of on Songfight! Only because it's sooooo right. Good on ya for seeing the tune that way. I have to admit, it's a total jam. One day of recording and writing. My pal was only up for the day, so we were cramming.

Thanks for the review and the listen. Spot on J$, spot on. However much I felt being kept with the title, it did have a tendency to find it's own tentacles. That kind of enduring is purely narcissistic from an artist's standpoint, in addition keeping with your preview of an audience's havering behind the performance. Good on ya. Heh.

The draft tune had some troubles uploading to the ftp (waves) from thehipcola, so everything got pushed behind about 2 hours, so sorry about that fightmasters. We basically got poo pooed by the upload. Thanks for including us Spud. We appreciate it.

Pablo

j$ · Post by j$ » Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:01 pm

echobox wrote: Any suggestions on how to brighten it? I record on Pro Tools; EQ each track? or the whole song?

I'm not really the person to ask - I would use one of the handy presets in Izotope Ozone - that's what I do

j$

Dan-O from Five-O · Post by **Dan-O from Five-O** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:36 pm

Cow Exchange: The mix is good, as usual, the something is pretty OK I think, the yeahâ€¦.uh that thing that is somewhere in there and well that other thing, Iâ€™m guessing you know what I mean. In the end I found this too busy, even for a title that wanted me to hold that thingy I should mention. Man that's a big bug!

Draft (Tonetripper): Umm lyrics? Can you hold your attention for that long? Look out! Puddle.

Echobox: Nice background music. Are those Vanilla Wafers over there?

Eddie Bangs: The buildup was longer than my interest., but I hung on long enough not to like the song. A bang is something loud or hair on the front of your face.

Glory Hole: Metal. I can think of no more perfect genre for the title of this song. I also canâ€™t think of anything good to say about your song right now. I like peanut butter.

Kama Sutra: Casio meets Shure SM58 and no talent. Nice â€œPOWâ€

MonorailRT · Post by **MonorailRT** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:06 am

The Cow Exchange - Nice production, and a lot of energy, but could have done with being a bit longer. Of course, doing that would probably have sapped some of the energy. I liked it.

Draft - Very cool, this track has a sort of David Holmes soundtrack feel to it, which is a good thing. The connection with the title is clearly less important than the connection to THE FUNK though, so I don't think it'll get my vote, even though it is a keeper.

Echobox - I like the murkiness of this track, the vocals are good, but I think it needs to build a little more, or have more of an edge. The funkiness that comes in at around 3 minutes is superb, made me wish it built into a big ol' breakdown of a track.

Eddie Bangs - I notice j$ got the nickelback feel off this as well. I think the main thing that would have made this song better would be production. The aggressiveness on the drums isn't really matched by the rest of the instruments. Still, decent track.

Gloryhole - Can't think of much to say about this one. It does have the feel of a bootleg to it, which works quite well.

Karma Sutra - The synth and drums kind of made me think of wesley willis. Not for long, but still.

MonorailRT - It's Me! It's been ages since I've done anything vaguely musical, so this one came out rather dodgy (hence the dumping of most of the instrumentation). Still, I liked the chorus.

MyVirtualBand.com - Please, tip your waitress.

Phunt YOur Friends - I thought this was going to be just those clicks; a bit of a lowercase composition. It's still pretty minimalist, but seems thrown together rather than structured.

Small Town Mike - I like this a lot. The vocals are almost Cake-y at times, and the guitar riff and drums drive the track along nicely.

I think my vote'll go to Small Town Mike, just edging it over The Cow Exchange.

Smalltown Mike · Post by **Smalltown Mike** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 5:46 am

The Cow Exchange

This is really great. Great beginning, and it builds really well into a vey rocking song. Great voice. My only complaint is that it could be a little longer. Keeper.

Draft

This is a pretty funky jam, but I really want to hear some vocals. As a (near) instrumental, though, itâ€™s a pretty valid take on the title. I love the â€œcome on!â€

Smalltown Mike · Post by **Smalltown Mike** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:54 am

MonorailRT wrote: Small Town Mike - I like this a lot. The vocals are almost Cake-y at times

Thanks for that. Though I don't see the Cake-isms in this song in particular, I'm definitely a big fan of Cake and know that I've taken a page or two from his singing book.

hockinfinger · Post by **hockinfinger** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 6:16 pm

Cow Exchange - Good energy and production. Contender.

Draft - The groove works nicely. I like that it comes back to that funkyness after the abstract parts to resolve the tension. I think something more should have been done lyrically.

Echobox - The monotony... I'm having trouble keeping awake. The vocals seem to to be overpowered by everything else, rendering them unintelligible. This could be made more tolerable with better vocal production. Just a guess, add some top end to vocals, or take out some low end. Maybe use a chorus or doubler effect on the vocals to bring them to the front. Perhaps instead of EQ, brighten them up with an aural exciter, BBE sonic maximizer, or the like.

Eddiebangs - I like the mood of this. Nice breaks. Nice everything. Possible contender.

Glory Hole - Another one that just doesn't do much for me. Dynamically it seems to stay in the same range of medium loud throughout. Stereo placement of guitars works, but doesn't help the vocals stand out like they should. Metal isn't my bag, but it's a worthwhile effort.

Kamasutra - OK, this is even more cheesy than most of my music. The lyrics are cute though.

MonorailRT - I like the feel of this all around. The main bass lick is sweet, but it could use a little variation to keep it from getting old. Nice work. Contender.

MyVirtualBand.com - I have to take credit/blame for most of this MVB entry. That's me on tenor sax, keyboard, bass and drum programming. If I had to be critical, I'd say I put way too much concentration into building this tune. It's very possible that I really am an old white guy after all.

Phunt Your Friends - I love the music and the lyrics. Anything featuring gnomes or racing with dwarves excites me greatly. The blood coming from my ears caused by that clicking noise is really not a problem. If the sound were mixed at a lower volume, it may have lost its intended effect.

Smalltown Mike - I like the tight band sound, and the lyrics. I don't care much for the rap feel of the vocals, but the lyrics and music are well done and interesting enough to overlook that aspect of the song.

SaxManRunning! · Post by **SaxManRunning!** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:03 pm

Okay, so I was listening to the fight and a storm was going on outside. Anyway, at the part in the cow exchanges song, where it picks up, you know what I'm talking about. This huge thinger sounded outside and it made the song like 100x better! okay, that's my thoughts.

WeaselSlayer · Post by **WeaselSlayer** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 1:35 am

Dan-O from Five-O wrote:Cow Exchange: The mix is good, as usual, the something is pretty OK I think, the yeahâ€¦.uh that thing that is somewhere in there and well that other thing, Iâ€™m guessing you know what I mean. In the end I found this too busy, even for a title that wanted me to hold that thingy I should mention. Man that's a big bug!

Alright, there are some good pieces of criticism involved here, however the ending loses me. I mean, I understand the correlation between the ADD-infected quip and the title, but there are a hundred right directions to go and you seem to have picked one of the more peurile and ultimately unsatisfying routes.

Dan-O from Five-O wrote:Draft (Tonetripper): Umm lyrics? Can you hold your attention for that long? Look out! Puddle.

The main problem here is that there isn't much said to help the artist in question. That and the ending, once again, merely befuddles me as a reader rather than entertains.

Dan-O from Five-O wrote:Echobox: Nice background music. Are those Vanilla Wafers over there?

Although you use the word "nice" here, your sarcasm is thinly veiled, thus giving the reader a sense of smugness that alienates as well as, once again, befuddles the reader.

Dan-O from Five-O wrote:Eddie Bangs: The buildup was longer than my interest., but I hung on long enough not to like the song. A bang is something loud or hair on the front of your face.

I believe in this particular review you have attempted to take on the role of dictionary for "humorous purposes." The trick, ultimately and perhaps tragically, fails. Also, when saying one dislikes a song, often important information to include would be "why" or perhaps "how" you didn't like it. Example: "I did not like your song because the piano in it was bullshit."

Dan-O from Five-O wrote:Glory Hole: Metal. I can think of no more perfect genre for the title of this song. I also canâ€™t think of anything good to say about your song right now. I like peanut butter.

If you haven't anything good to say, say nothing at all. An age-old proverb!

Dan-O from Five-O wrote:Kama Sutra: Casio meets Shure SM58 and no talent. Nice â€œPOWâ€

Mogosagatai · Post by **Mogosagatai** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 3:35 am

Luke Henley is a hero among men.

Eventually, we'll have review threads for each review thread, and then non-musician English majors and social workers can enjoy SF as much as we musicians.

Incidentally, I just grouped myself as a musician. Heh.

j$ · Post by j$ » Sun Sep 25, 2005 6:01 am

OK so Dan-O can fight his own battles, and I like Weaselslayer, both musically and persona-wise, but I have a few issues with Luke's little supposedly 'balanced' review of reviews...

WeaselSlayer wrote:1. there are a hundred right directions to go ... 2. the main problem here is that there isn't much said to help the artist in question ... 3. your sarcasm is thinly veiled, thus giving the reader a sense of smugness that alienates as well as, once again, befuddles ....4. when saying one dislikes a song, often important information to include would be "why" or perhaps "how" you didn't like it ... 5. If you haven't anything good to say, say nothing at all. An age-old proverb ... 6. This tone can often be seen as confrontational ... 7.What you seem to have missed here is that this is a very good entry.

1. No, there are no right or wrong directions, only directions.

2. Who said that reviews were meant to help the artist?

3. Sarcasm <> giving the reader a sense of smugness. Are you trying to justify your own sense of superiority over Dan-O here?

4. One needs only say they like, or dislike a song. Aesthetic reaction is as acompelling an argument as being able to decipher exactly why.

5. "Not My Bag"? Also following this argument to its logical conclusion would be the death of all but the most terribly bland message boards ...

6. And what is wrong with confrontation?

7. Personal opinion. In my opinion, PYF this week is almost a good entry. Dan-O thinks it is a bad entry. See point 1.

I migh suggest that doing some reviews of this fight of your own would be the best way of a reviewing a review you didn't agree with - two wrongs don't make a right.

Egg · Post by **Egg** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:19 am

j$ wrote: two wrongs don't make a right.

But they can make me laugh. tee hee.

Your criticism of Luke's lack of reviews must be a little tongue-in-cheek since you think that there are no right or wrong directions. Right?

Oh, you all make me laugh so.

God bless us every one.

j$ · Post by j$ » Sun Sep 25, 2005 12:36 pm

Egg wrote:
j$ wrote: Your criticism of Luke's lack of reviews must be a little tongue-in-cheek since you think that there are no right or wrong directions. Right?

Well of course ...

WeaselSlayer · Post by **WeaselSlayer** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 1:08 pm

I'm just a post-modern muthafucka, what can I say.

JachS · Post by **JachS** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 3:36 pm

I'm a long time listener,voter and reader. Im one of the more background listeners who just enjoys listening to songwriters and there material. The reason for been a background listener is the lack of ability to participate, some may say musically challenged, though its got to the point where i can start to participate, having finally developed a way creating songs on my computer, oh and the whole learning a instrument to the standard of been able to record!

I know I wont be entering for a couple of weeks,however I would like to present some reviews of my once silent opinion.
Dont worry you guys can return the criticism as soon as i can throw something together!!

Smalltown Mike- I feel the tune could be the backing track for a closer guitar to build up with a melody, or lead tune. I feel the song has a sound structure, though the i feel the talking lets it down a little, i feel you could have given the more singing parts more power to really grip me. However it is a solid song, everything is there which is better than some of the songs entered past by other artists. I personally think it lacks that hook that makes you want to listen over and over.

MonorailRT- I like the beginning to this song, its funky and you can bop your head to it. I can see myself listening to this over again. Your voice goes well with the style of it, which is always a bonus!

Phunt Your Friends - Didnt get past those clicks! Those hurt your ears! Very poor beginning not one ill show to any of my friends, that kind of thing can give you a nervous twitch!

The Cow Exchange - WOW! more of this please! This one has been downloaded and added to my collection of songfight favourites. Great production, great voice, great musically, love the build up and when the overdriven guitar comes it it blew my socks off! Definitely a CONTENDER! Welcome to my mp3 player!

Glory Hole- This is heavy, which i dont personally mind. Though its hard to hear any of the music properly. it all merges into this overdriven noise.....nothing truely sticks out with the same overdrive continuing throughout the song. I really wanted a kick in! another solid song but i like a little variation to hold my ear.

Draft - This is an interesting groove, I like it when the guitar adds to the mix and continues to go with the tune. then i kinda loss it when the noises come in, with the quiet vocal its not something id be inpressed with if i watched it performed live, its like your unorganised and lost and dont know what your doing. Really wish you'd added some funky lyrics, with humour, would have really gripped my interest with some comical lyrics

MyVirtualBand.com - In the beginning you've lots of intruments going on, but they dont flow together as nicely as they could. It's not a style thats common on hear, and its amazing how you can come up woth this stuff within the time frame....piano and saxophone, im impressed, and you've a good voice too suit.....I must admit your really good at this style, like the lyrics and its a good interesting song, its actually honlding my interest quite well! even though it aint my style this maybe a possible vote from me.

EchoBox - woah this is putting me to sleep a little, just seems all very low. It needs brightening alot cause i can't listen to this much longer. And you voice just seems to drone on in the background, like you singing to your shoes, shyness with the noise that lurch from adams family makes.

EddieBangs - the build up intro had my in anticipation, i was expecting something quite big and catchy. Like a guitar lead......but you went a different way, and went to the lyrics which i think worked well! like it when it cuts to just guitar and that drum roll back in, good work! if the vocals where just a little louder they'd really grip me and give that power and donmination i want in order to move along! good song, but i feel it should be longer, so much you could add and many directions could have been taken to extend this into something really good.

Kama Sutra - Straight into a drum loop (which i aint no stranger to in my practicing) there seems to little knowledge reguarding your instruments, but hey that aint a bad thing, its simple but a real good effort, its something to build on. I aint going to discourage this as it is better than what my first effort will be.

My vote will go to Cow exchange this song really is in a different league, production wise and creativity wise.

Well done everyone......This is a good fight with better quality that wats been created the past few weeks...(no offence to the past few weeks).....just better structures to this weeks songs!

Thanks
8)

tonetripper · Post by **tonetripper** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 3:45 pm

WordlessWithoutIona wrote: Draft - its like your unorganised and lost and dont know what your doing.

First off thanks for the review. Secondly it was the point to seem lost and not know what we were doing (although we do). That was in keeping with the title. Thirdly I tried to get into doing a vocal kind of thing and ran out of time (lyrics written and everything), so the vocals went into the garbage and we left it somewhat instrumental. Thanks for listening.