Reviews Floating on a Dark Matter Stream

[Andy Balham]

Not sure if my first post should be a review

I'm sure no-one would object if you only posted reviews. Not me for one anyway.

[philtr]

About the Jerry Jurkowiscz lyrics and if they relate to the title. I saw the words "floating" and "dark matter", which made me think of poop, aka the dark shark.

Wow. I'm so blind. How could I have not seen that?

[HeuristicsInc]

I've never heard of it called a "dark shark" so ya lost me there. But thanks for the explanation, makes much more sense now.

Starcrossed: Yeah, I think this is one of my usual styles. I'll make a list for you of some other stuff to check out in a bit.
-bill

[Andy Balham]

A-Log
Are you deliberately trying to impersonate Stephen Hawking or is it just my ears? I find that this builds quite nicely, but then just stays there. I would like to hear the parts coming and going throughout. As it is, I keep thinking that my PC is skipping.

Asperse
I found this quite an interesting experiment and was listening to it with my Trans-Europe Express head on. However, it doesn’t have quite the hooks that Das Werk managed to shoehorn in and so gets labelled as a little dull by me.

Carpetburn
I like the fact you have a distinctive voice and some interesting phrasing to bring it out of the ordinary. I think it is well written and played though it leaves me a little cold.

cr410
I think this very well executed and that the lyrics and flow are pretty good. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised to hear some Nerdcore it this fight and I’m enjoying the loop playing behind. If I was to be picky, which is another way to say I am then I would say that the chorus is too short and not hooky enough. I can see this being a contender.

draft
This is reminding me of some of Spaceman 3 and I guess that is quite appropriate given the title. By the second verse I would have liked to see some variation. I think the pace does a good job of evoking a suitable mood and the little sounds in the background around 3:00 are most welcome.

@Eclectic Spoons
I find this has a naïve charm. You seem to say your message and not outstay your welcome and I appreciate that.

Gavin
I like the intro solo. This is possibly a bold move in such a short attention span time and credit to you for the unusual arrangement. The sung parts are not as strong in my opinion, though still competent enough. You seem to have some trouble with some plosives on the vocal that should be easy to sort out in future. I think this could be shorter too and without losing anything.

Heuristics Inc.
I’m enjoying the change of musical mood and I think I’m learning quite a bit astrophysics-related vocabulary too. I don’t have too much too say about this apart from it held my interest well.

Jerry Jurk something or other
Well you manage to pack in some fairly disturbing imagery along with no obvious link to the title. By mentally blocking out the scatological visions and giving you the benefit of the doubt I find myself quite liking this. (This was written prior to your explanation, though I would have been happier to be unfamiliar with the phrase ‘dark shark’)

Near Global
I like the patterns this makes in my music player.

Pipefist
I was kind of hoping for something more eerie after the Jurassic Park opening. The percussion keeps making me think the ceiling is about to fall down, I don’t know quite why. I’m finding this pleasant in a laid back kind of way, but it is not quite drawing me in.

Rone Rivendale
The hum in the background is annoying me somewhat and to me the vocal is too dispassionate, which may well have been intentional. More variation in the backing would have made it easier to aurally swallow for me too.

Two Out Of Three
I wouldn’t have thought it previously, but the title does have a nice flow to it and I think it’s well used again in this. I like the lyrics and in general your delivery seems pretty good to me. Overly long for my tastes, given the lack of musical variety.

The Zero Effect with Radio North and Maya
“Sunny day, chasing those blues away etcâ€

[roymond]

<b>Bill Burley</b>
Dewey Bunnell comes to mind, but this is better. Great XTC-like textures certainly beat what they did in America. I am going to give this many spins. Thanks.

[HansGruber]

<b>Bill Burley</b>
Dewey Bunnell comes to mind, but this is better. Great XTC-like textures certainly beat what they did in America. I am going to give this many spins. Thanks.

Thanks, man...huge compliment! I think it sounds like "A Horse with No Name". It didn't remind me of XTC at first, but I hear it now. I've certainly listened to enough of them to be influenced

[boltoph]

Hans Gruber's sidearm to the fight. That guitar sounds good! I really dig the chorus, it's just grooving, will stay in my head...I even rarely think that type of reverb works well (plate or something, on the vocs) cause it always gives things that "Knights in White Satin" feel, but I like it on this. The keyboard part is a nice addition during the chorus. I'd work that guitar in with just a hair of nice warm tube overdrive, and really work the pick clicking really tight. The chorus backups are sweet, too!

Draft I love that suspension/release/diminished or augmented thing, on the acoustic...did you play w/ your fingers? You growing some nails there Pablo? I'll bet some dirty bastard's playing that synthy stuff, it's great. All of the background noises are mesmerizing. The drummer is so melodic with the song, need more kick in the kick though, I like the natural sound of it, but would like more thump. And this song is missing one other thing...a crazy buildup where you scream like you did in that song "Funeral Director". I can feel it coming the whole time, like a sneeze that never formulates! The sonics of this tune are great. Really feels like the title too.

Pipefist brings it on the acoustic front...I like the addition of the slide here or there, those "aahs" are super catchy, good shit. The background low slide stuff is also piercing my thick hide with little pieces of bass, and punch. Sorta like acupuncture. I love those vocal melody swings during the choruses, really brings it home. Echoing in my head after it's all over, playing it again.

Jerry Jerk, Creole style jerked chicken and black beans style. I wonder how that treats the shark? Might be a jellyfish. I like those weird fourth harmonies. I guess she should've pulled out her, ya know, right from the start...the third verse should've focused on Mr. D S., feeling bad for him...left on the land, never got to swim. But the story would turn, when sharky felt more glorified since he got to make a much more signifcant impact on the people, got noticed, and such. We think that everything has some sort of soul of being. Even said "dark matter". So we give everything a new name and a personality. That's how we roll, and like two-ass says: it's all good, and the whole nine.

maybe some more later. I gotta go listen to the 2nd half of Leaf62's "Talk About Your Feelings"

[j$]

A-Log - Pleasant enough amateur techno. I like the vocal recording at the beginning. Did I miss it coming back into the mix? Because if I didn't, it's crying out for that, surfing around the speakers at about 2.00 minutes rather than just towards the end briefly. The music doesn't vary enough to carry it on its own, in my opinion. Still, an improvement.

Asperse - hey cool spacey noises. Cool choir style build at around 3.00 minutes. There's not much else to comment on. This could have been hard--edited to a really impactive 2 minute song, but fair enough if the crazy soundscaping is your thing, it's certainly no worse than say, Luke Henley when he's playing at that game, which is intended as a compliment. Although as it stands the last minute grates when in fact it's the most harmonious part. hmmm.

Carpetburn - Kill All Hippies! Nah, only joking. The guitar part has an Echo & the Bunnymen feel to it, although I personally would have hammered it with reverb to make it more 'shoegazer'. the vocal performance stylistically has a more 'Robert Smith sings the hits of Bloc Party' feel to it, which I also like, i just have problems accepting the two together. I like it overall I think although it could do with a stronger low-end. It feels a bit thin when it should kick the shit out of the speakers. Again, just my opinion.

cr410 - hehehe. That voice at the beginning makes me smile and I am notoriously lacking in a sense of humour. This is all bass-end! Hi-pass the vocals, or something. This sounds murky when the difference between the cool bassy groove and the nice counter-melody and the cool flow of the vocals should be much sharper. But I like this, and I am not a huge rap afficienado (sp) - 'I don't want to see how impact meteors are created' hehehe. This is a good song. Just need to concentrate on the overall impact of the sound, I guess.

Draft - Well if you like the prog ... this will probably not make much sense, but the music seems to take itself too seriously. Maybe it's the acoustic with slight indian undertones suggested. Great production, nice trippy feel. I imagined this was going to kick off sometime when I am just about losing interest in the 60s Yogi guru feel. It doesn't, although it builds very nicely. This is a good song.

@eclectic spoons - so a song about how the title doesn't mean anything? Feel free to prioritise the painting of the door next time Actually the music and vibe is good, I would just make those vocals quiet and echoey, to enjoy the space-feel of the music?

Gavin - your lead is way too up front on the rest of the mix. The tune that you're singing sounds very familiar. In fact the mix of this is crazy. And distracting. I don't mind the pitchy vocals that much, well certianly not as much as the guitar tones scraping the insides of my ear-drums off! With a bit more concentration on the overall sound this could (and maybe should) be smooth and pretty - as it is I am listening to the pretty tune under the rushed recording? I dunno. Potential here, I think, but as it is, not too appealing for me.

Heuristics Inc - I love the way this starts out as Devo, with that 'preset' feel keyboard tone. Vocals sound cool - I would turn 'em up - the lyric is good too - you and your songs about galaxies, eh? Suitably crazy. I enjoyed this a lot. I'd like maybe another instrument in the chorus - because the verse is real catchy and the chorus isn't quite as poptastic - not sure what I would suggest to 'improve' the chorus - but that's my only suggestion to 'improve' the song. The instrumental sections towards the end are supremely enjoyable!

Jerry Jerk - for some reason I think Johnsonic and Hank are the same person. I am almost certainly wrong about that. Vocals should come up, but I have said that on previous johnsonic reviews, so clearly it's a deliberate choice. Ah, singing about poo. Seems like a waste of a good tune to me - I have nothing else to say.

nearglobal - Now THAT's a cool opening! Jolly jolly - the sort of electro-pop that people comapre to video game stuff - I like the falsetto. I like the length but at the same time wish it did something else as well. Hmmm, fun.

Pipefist - this has some great moments but also runs terribly close to parody, I think. For instance I love the descending guitar part at 0:14 but the 'bottle slide' and the endless rhymes with 'stream', and the odd choice of phrasing on the very nicely sung vocals give it a jazzy folk feel that I am suspicious of but that I can't quite put my finger on why. You're seriously losing me at 'sha na na na oooh' - then I love the big crashing tom style percussion at 2.00. The descending harmony chorus is the decider I guess. If you like that you'll probably love the whole song. I am not that keen on it (mainly because it reminds me of something) but I do love the high backing vox towards the end. The final slide

Rone Riverdale - At that beginning, I think - are you A-Log? but this had some odd potential. I would question how a 'civil war' between two sides of your mind is anything like galaxies floating on a dark matter stream per se - feels like a bit of a stretch - and also more seriously, the words posit a big dilemma and never seem to reach any resolution. They just keep pointing out that your struggling with two sides of your personality. The music is interesting, as a support for the words, and it's a relatively rare sound you have going on, but the words need to be much more broad and dynamic to justify their fore-fronted-ness. In my opinion, obviously.

Two out of Three - ain't bad Who would have thought two rap songs in a fight, and I would like them both? Not too keen on 'I'm out' just because it's like writing 'The End' at the end of a story. Um, yeah, slightly in the 'I'm lonely' end of the rap spectrum in the choice of loops, but none the worse for that.

Zero Effect - nice 60s feel. Nice doo-doos. Reminds me of children's tv themes at point - nothing wrong with that of course. Rhythm guitar should come down in the mix - and with less reverb on the claps and another take or two on the vocals this could be in Rembrandts territory. If that's a good thing I am not sure. I prefer the backing singer's voice to the lead singer. Sorry - I know that's a horribly cruel thing to say (unless they're the same person) but it's what i feel.

And

Hans Gruber I like this. The main melody and harmonies in the chorus are just fantastic. The keyboard is maybe a touch unnecessary? I mean it works well for the spacey feel but it busies what would be a beuatiful chilled moment. I want those harmonies in a jar. They really are beautiful. Great instrumental break. Maybe the keyboard could be moved to the verses instead of the choruses? Did you really just sing 'obfuscate the truth'? These words veer from very cool to slightly portentous and back again. Like I don't like 'fallacy/fantasy' but I do like 'we are galaxies'. This is probably the one which stays with me the most from the competition and therefore would probably get my vote if it turns up in the stream any time soon.

[HeuristicsInc]

Heuristics Inc. (****): I like the darkwave sound you've got going on here. Is this your typical style? If it is, I want to hear more of your stuff.

Check out the SF Archive here.
I might recommend:
rattle
we are all famous
violet
dark all day (more industrial)
fight the sea

i think these are the songfights most like this week's.
-bill

[PipeFist]

this has some great moments but also runs terribly close to parody, I think.

Parody of something specific? If so, I didn't mean to at all. I didn't actually intend to sing it this way, but the more I practiced it, the more it got that way. The sha na na I just threw in on a whim and thought later that it was good filler on that part. I was told that the "..eam" rhyming was a bit tiresome while I was working on the song, but ultimately decided to leave it that way. It's always such an ego-popper when a song you're so proud of is received in such a mediocre way. But that is the nature of this site, and I've got no problem with that.

(mainly because it reminds me of something)

What does it remind you of?

[HansGruber]

These words veer from very cool to slightly portentous and back again.

Thanks much for the review - I feel a little lame for missing the post. I'm flattered that you like the vocals - they're the most difficult part for me, I always go flat.

Yes indeed, the whole song is (i think) rather pretentious - I like to use persona as a device to help songwriting. This one is "folksy call to atheism". I posted the lyrics - lots of big cheezy words

And I like your suggestion - I'm going to try a mix without the keys...

[rone rivendale]

Rone Riverdale - At that beginning, I think - are you A-Log? but this had some odd potential. I would question how a 'civil war' between two sides of your mind is anything like galaxies floating on a dark matter stream per se - feels like a bit of a stretch - and also more seriously, the words posit a big dilemma and never seem to reach any resolution. They just keep pointing out that your struggling with two sides of your personality. The music is interesting, as a support for the words, and it's a relatively rare sound you have going on, but the words need to be much more broad and dynamic to justify their fore-fronted-ness. In my opinion, obviously.

I just want to point out that the song DOES come to a conclusion. Near the end of the lyrics I question whether I'm going to the dark side using the good side voice. And then at the very end I say "Heaven save my soul" therefore the dark side won out.

If that's not what you meant by those comments, then explain but otherwise there is my answer.

[philtr]

nearglobal - Now THAT's a cool opening! Jolly jolly - the sort of electro-pop that people comapre to video game stuff - I like the falsetto. I like the length but at the same time wish it did something else as well. Hmmm, fun.

I don't think that was falsetto. It sure sounds like it, but it didn't feel like it when I sang it. But, even listening to just the vocals, I can't tell. You may be right. That's so weird. Maybe it was because I recorded those vocals in about 10 minutes. I don't know.

[j$]

does come to a conclusion. Near the end of the lyrics I question whether I'm going to the dark side using the good side voice. And then at the very end I say "Heaven save my soul" therefore the dark side won out.

That's right you question whteher you're going to the dark side at the end, like you do in the very first four lines as well. And the next four .. in my eyes, you're not exploring the dilemma you're just finding slightly different ways to express it.

On the other point If you feel 'Heaven save my soul' makes your stated intention clear enough, then that's fine. It didn't, and still doesn't, for me, but I am just one listener. At best it's ambigious, but not in a good way.

It's all moot anyway as I didn't like it all that much

[j$]

Parody of something specific? ... What does it remind you of?

No, nothing specific - I meant that some of the sound choices seem to be undermining what I perceived as your serious intent. And I can't remember what that harmonizing reminded me of - it may be stylistic rather than specific - it just sounds familiar. Maybe that's a good thing.

PS I am not trying to pop your, or anyone's, ego. I just write like I hear it.

PPS

don't think that was falsetto.

I just meant the high notes singing part. I liked that part the most and would like to have heard that a bit more.

[Lyricburglar]

Very briefly...

DRAFT: This is great! Sounds like The Dirty Three with vocals (and no violin). Listened to all songs this morning in the car on the way to work - this is the one that really shone out. Likely vote.

LITTLE SMOKES: Very good song that is taken to an even higher level by Mr Durand and his Amazing Horn. Also like the female vox - great voice. I don't know why, but for some reason this is making me think of "Sound Affects/The Gift"-era Paul Weller

2OUT OF3: Post lyrics please? A lot of this is very funny - but there are bits I can't make out


...others later...maybe

[Cärpetbürn]

A-log: how can you make this better? Cut it down to 10 seconds, reverse it. There ya go. Oh, yeah, and keep the poetry.

Asperse: I wouldn’t want to listen to this much but if I were to make a track right this second it may sound a bit like this. I like the cross between irritating repetitive sounds crossed with really irritating arbitrary aural squirms. Is that human beatbox? I usually hate it when people try to beatbox but this is cool. There should be another 3 minutes of this at least with the sound of you dropping pens on the floor over it. And some reverbed vocal saying something like “I have been withered by my own stareâ€

[Lyricburglar]

Carpetburn: this is the only track I’ve submitted that I wish I could take back. It’s not SHIT shit but the chorus and guitar solo are cack. And it’s a blight on last weeks song in my opinion. I think next week will be make or break time for carpetburn. The synth at the end is pretty cool. Does everyone in a band want to kill their drummer? (or is it just me)

No - it wasn't SHIT shit - but it did sound like a good song badly under-rehearsed. It screamed unfullfilled potential to me.

(...and don't kill your drummer - those feeble souls whose only purpose in life is to hit things with sticks deserve our pity, not scorn)

[Jim of Seattle]

This is my third attempt at getting the reviews in. I keep accidentally deleting them. So these reviews are shorter than they originally were. Favorites in <font color=blue>blue</font>

Little Smokes
The British accent is cool. A lot of work went into the song and that comes through. The lead tune needs to be more interesting. The lead singer needs to have more to work with.

Gavin
Watch for cliches, both in the lyrics and the melody. Words like "illusions", "sanity", and "madness" are tired and trite and should be avoided. The guitar solos are nice, but go on too long. Listen to your vocals more critically to make sure they're in tune.

Rone Rovendale
cr410
Two Out of Three
Young guy + GarageBand + Rapping = These songs

Eclectic Spoons
Sounds like you're just playing around.

<font color=blue>Draft
The only song that went for the spacey galaxy sound that made it really cool. I appreciate the attempt at a different chord at 2:25, but I'm not sure it totally worked. I want to hear a big cool Pink Floyd-like backup vocal chord at 1:23, or perhaps 1:30 or 1:36. This deserves to win. I'll do my part.[/b]</font>

Zero Effect
Who can criticize a song with a tambourine and hand claps and a girl going doot-doot-doot? Reminded of Balls to Monte. Everything is working here, but the vocals are the problem.

Heuristics Inc.
Works. Nothing much else to say.

<font color=blue>Jerry Jurkowicsz
This one took a few listens to work on me. You need a better vocal mic to sell those nicely performed vocals. The first two times I tried writing reviews this one was not in blue. After about the sixth listen, now it is.</font>

Carpetburn
Nice band. Vocals are the problem.

Asperse
You had me for a while with the interesting sounds, but the vocals are recorded to straightforward for the rest of the song, and it comes across amateurish. Put some more processing on the vocals to match the character with all the other weird stuff going on.

Near Global
The instrumentals are so in-your-face that the 89-pound-weaking vocals can't compete. Still, I like the Please Listen To Me style of it. Fun.

A-Log
What is this?

Swindle Staccato
It's sort of cool in a cheesey 80's way, but the vocals sound so put-on that I got confused as to where you were coming from exactly.

<font color=blue>Pipe Fist
For me this song is all about that long melisma in the chorus. "I'm Sam the Saran"?? The lyrics to this song are completely bizarre. Still, it's aggressively catchy and well-performed. Stuck in my head all afternoon yesterday.</font>

[Cärpetbürn]

No - it wasn't SHIT shit - but it did sound like a good song badly under-rehearsed. It screamed unfullfilled potential to me.

really? that's interesting, to me it screamed triteness with some nice jangly bits. I guess rather than fulfill it's potential I'd rather move on to something else. preferably something with more balls 8)

[Cärpetbürn]

Rone Rovendale
cr410
Two Out of Three
Young guy + GarageBand + Rapping = These songs

way to dismiss a genre

[HansGruber]

But you’re still not singing or rapping, just kind of……roning? I hope that term catches on.

Ha! I'll help perpetuate it. Add it to the Songfight Glossary of Terms next to "Phunt".