Grammar thread

Sober · Post by **Sober** » Fri Mar 10, 2006 12:33 pm

Rejoice! No Hoblits allowed.

"KO3D has refined our skillsets to an amazing synergy."

I know that's a lame sentence to begin with, but grammatically, is it correct?

http://www.ko3d.com

Mogosagatai · Post by **Mogosagatai** » Fri Mar 10, 2006 12:48 pm

Yeah, it seems alright to me. I don't even know what the sentence says, but that's only for lack of vocab. The phrase "to an amazing synergy" can't really modify anything except for the verb ("has refined"), so there's certainly nothing ambiguous (grammatically) about the sentence.

In conclusion, if there's a problem with that sentence, it ain't in the grammar. Unless you think vocab is a part of grammar, which is a point that could be argued but from which I'll abstain.

Post by jb » Fri Mar 10, 2006 1:30 pm

keeping your intended fervor intact, the last phrase needs to be either "an amazing degree of synergy" (dubious syntax still) or "until they have reached a state of perfect synergy" ("better").

replace synergy with some other noun and it's more obviously wrong. "to an amazing poop."

ken · Post by **ken** » Fri Mar 10, 2006 1:31 pm

Please tell me that is not a line from your new band's bio.

Ken

fodroy · Post by **fodroy** » Fri Mar 10, 2006 2:06 pm

the wording is awkward. and yeah, lame sentence.

what's weird about it to me is that you seem to be in the third and first person in the same sentence.

(the band that is speaking) has refined our skillsets to an amazing synergy.

i wouldn't say "dan has refined my skillsets to an amazing synergy." i'd either switch it to the third person completely or the first person completely.

HeuristicsInc · Post by **HeuristicsInc** » Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:15 pm

If KO3D = "we" then it makes more sense. I was assuming this is marketing-speak for a company website. Otherwise these words should not be spoken. If it's marketing-speak, "unprecedented" or some such might be more professional than "amazing." Definitely what JB said... degree, level, perfect, something like that.

Dan-O from Five-O · Post by **Dan-O from Five-O** » Fri Mar 10, 2006 4:35 pm

The main issue, aside from it being obvious Corporate speak, is that "synergy" is just hammered into the sentence to intentionally make it Corporate speak. The same goes for "skillsets". The sentence is taking 2 Corporate buzzwords and trying to make a succint statement. The process is an obvious failure because you, the reader, are left wondering what the fuck they're talking about.

All that needs to be said is "KO3D has enabled us to improve our techniques and work together more efficiently".

EDIT: You could add "at a previously unimagined level" or something like that if you really wanted to keep up the dramatics.

Sober · Post by **Sober** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:32 am

Yeah, the guy writing most of the content for the site is a graphics/web/video guy. Basically, most of the content was filler text that ended up staying in the final product.

Negative points for those who thought KO3D was a band.

j$ · Post by j$ » Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:53 am

The Sober Irishman wrote: "KO3D has refined our skillsets to an amazing synergy."

In the UK, we would write 'KO3D have refined' but I believe that's a transatlantic thing - in the same way I would say 'Radiohead have released a new album' and Americans would say 'Radiohead has ..' (or so I am led to believe.)

Skillsets should probably be hyphenated as it's not a 'dictionary' word. Synergy is a horrible word and I would reccommend dropping it entirely; but since you asked about the grammar, I would agree with jb.

HeuristicsInc · Post by **HeuristicsInc** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:49 am

j$ wrote:Americans would say 'Radiohead has ..' (or so I am led to believe.)

Yeah, that's the way we would say it.
-bill

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