Don't Click Here (I'm Warning You Reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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Leaf
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Post by Leaf »

Furrypedro wrote:
j$ wrote:Perhaps you could do me a nice picture instead?
exhibit a)
Image
exhibit b)
Image
your song made me feel like painting fences turquoise at night

oh my god I want a review like that!!!

Painting fences turquoise??? Good god, if I could inspire that kind or reaction I'd be a happy Canadian...


At least it wasn't "Flinging tortise feces". Although it'd make for a cool image.


Or maybe not...
Image
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mc3p0
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Post by mc3p0 »

[quote]Dan-O from Five-O wrote:
I’m not really a fan of that “telephoneâ€
Last edited by mc3p0 on Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
"The toot of a flute with the flavour of fruit!" - Caractacus Potts, 1968
j$
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Post by j$ »

Well, I sat down to write reviews, but I didn't feel inspired to write anything. My bad, of course; my notes such as they are say -

"I like the Special Relatives but I think the song arrangement doesn't do the melody any favours".
"Doscientos should slow their songs down by about 30bpm. The rushed pacing is spoiling a nice little piece. Their 'Thanks for coming' is still one of my favourite songfight songs."
"Rone Rivendale - there's nothing wrong with having fun making music - it's a must - but at some time you have to stop of think whether it's going to be fun for someone else to have to hear it."
"Melvin - the death of music as always. All surface no feeling."
"Luke Henley - I am all for a non-sensical lyric but it's getting to smack a little of emperor's new clothes. And they're last year's threads. Move on, already, rather than endlessly sideways. Pleasant enough, mind."
"Andre a charming mood as always but that acoustic is relentless. Nice piano!"
"Cheap Bastards - the voice is great and I love the groove but it's a bit slow for my tastes. Also coming after Andre it sounds almost like an electronic cover of his song."
"Hey Boltoph good of you of take out your frustration on me here instead of in the Nur Ein Thread - at least other people here get some useful reviews as a result - but to paraphrase Blondie, Johnny Grippo is a band."

If I didn't comment on your song, it's just I didn't really have any passion for it one way or another. I won't vote - it wouldn't be fair in the mood I am in. I might try and listen again later in the week and see if I can offer anything more useful.
Last edited by j$ on Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by j$ »

Furrypedro wrote:
j$ wrote:Perhaps you could do me a nice picture instead?
Image
your song made me feel like painting fences turquoise at night
Hahahaha - can I use this as the cover to an album I am working on??? Please? I am serious!

Pussy. :)

j$
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mc3p0
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Post by mc3p0 »

J$ wrote:
the voice is great and I love the groove but it's a bit slow for my tastes. Also coming after Andre it sounds almost like an electronic cover of his song.
To my ears I always come out sounding like a) Depeche Mode/Erasure/Pet Shop Boys wannabe (true), b) Faggy McNasalgay (true again!), c) still discovering pronounciation of my own lyrics (sigh, too true). It's a total experiment and I'm glad it was achingly slow for both of us, but sad that it comes off as "electronic". If I could play guitar like all ya'll then I'd be doing Oval vs. Hendrix. I'm still on for that Ebony/Ivory duet. "You are black and I am white - you're blind as a bat and I have sight." Talk about mid-air collision..

Oh, and an update about my lyrics:
"enlightenment or persuasion" is sorta in reference to one of the strangest Doctor Who episodes 'Four to Doomsday'.
"Good is nothing in the furnace of the heart." is my favorite Antonio Salieri quote.
"We all hunt in our own sweet ways." is something the lord of Manor House Sir John Olliff-Cooper mumbled while pondering his sister. Not sure if he's quoting, but it's memorable.
"The toot of a flute with the flavour of fruit!" - Caractacus Potts, 1968
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Post by boltoph »

kill_me_sarah wrote:
boltoph wrote:work on the recording, esp. the vocals ---
Anything in particular? Volume, panning? Or just everything in general?
I was thinking the vocal take. Some of the vocal movement, the rhythms seem tentative and could use more planning or a re-performance. Not volume or panning, not sonic related, and not that bad, the doubles help out.
j$ wrote:"Hey Boltoph good of you of take out your frustration on me here, etc.
Funny, I recall you were the one that blew up at me over a post by me in support of the Nur Ein. Must've been a rough couple days for the J-Dollar? It's ok, you can edit your posts again, if you want.
I'm not frustrated with you, I just didn't like your song.
j$
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Post by j$ »

boltoph wrote: Must've been a rough couple days for the J-Dollar?
Nope, everything is just dandy, thanks. My point was - it's not my song.
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Andy Balham
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Post by Andy Balham »

j$ wrote:
boltoph wrote: Must've been a rough couple days for the J-Dollar?
Nope, everything is just dandy, thanks. My point was - it's not my song.
Indeed. You didn't like our song. I'm surprised you didn't recognise the trademark out of tune Balham guitars. Blue certainly would have.
"Some may say I couldn't sing, but none may say I didn't sing" - Florence Foster Jenkins
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Post by boltoph »

one possible revision:
boltoph wrote:j$
--- vocals trying to be "tough" ---
/// "big baby" whiny vocal inspires gut wrenching laughter ///
--- vocal stylings, structure, overall ---

the rest of the Johnny Grippo
--- weak guitar parts, out of tune guitar ---
/// overshadowed by the j$ vocal ///
+++ some interesting chord changes +++
j$
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Post by j$ »

Much fairer, thank you.
Kill Me Sarah
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Post by Kill Me Sarah »

Okay, 1-5 system changed up a bit. I'm going to use the Rolling Stone rating system: 1-Poor, 2-Fair, 3-Good, 4-Excellent, 5-Classic.

Andre
I like it. It suffers only from little performance bobbles here and there. Nothing practice won't remedy.
3/5

Cheap
Feels like a little Morrisey love going on. The reverb's a little too heavy. Overall I like it but it doesn't hold my interest for very long.
2/5

Dan-O
Much to my chagrin, I really find myself liking this song ;). I started listening and thought "wow, these harmonies are solid...who is this?" I haven't listened to all of your back catalog or anything, but I like it more than anything of yours I've heard so far. You should do crappy love songs more often.
4/5

Del Sesto
Reminds me of my parents old 45 of They're Coming to Take Me Away. Doesn't do much for me, sorry.
2/5

Donut Disturb
Hmm, this song speaks volumes about your talent and creativity. The funny-song-that-sounds-serious thing doesn't grab me. I would have rather heard this turned into a longer song with more meaningful lyrics. The lyrics kind of killed it for me, it would have probably been a 3 or 4 for me otherwise, but this isn't something I could listen regularly and take seriously.
2/5

Doscientos
I'm not sure why I review you guys...I've never seen you on the boards or heard you respond to any of my reviews, but here you are...
I agree somewhat with other comments that you're sort of pigeon-holing yourselves. The first couple times I heard you guys I was surprised, but I'm not surprised anymore because I know what to expect. That said, it's still an excellent song that I will keep and listen to whenever I'm in the mood for "Doscientos style music", so then I guess that's not a bad thing.
3/5

Jonny Grippo
I haven't really read everyone else's reviews of the other songs this week, I've been skipping to everyone's review of me this week (narcissistic, I know). So I don't know if you've gotten dozens of Pixies comparisons already, but that's definitely what strikes me. I could totally hear Kim Deal providing the backups for this. I really, really like this.
4/5

Jordan Seavers
Didn't even have to check the media player to see who this one was :)
It's amazing, as always, but I do tend to agree that you, like Doscientos, are starting to have a tendency to be predictable. Again, I don't know if that's a bad thing or not, so long as the songs are good. I mean, I don't know that I've been surprised by any song that Death Cab does lately, but I still love them as much or more than ever. I would say,
4/5 in comparison to other songs
3/5 on the Jordan Seavers scale

KMS- me
As I've said, I find myself disliking this one a lot less than everything else I've done on here so far. Recording the whole guitar part by itself would have been smarter, but I sort of recorded it as I wrote it. So I probably should have done a completely new 2nd recording. It's one of my favorite things I've written lyrically. My main focus for this song, after listening to other artists I love and comparing my stuff out of them (subtracting the "having no talent" factor, Blue) was to 1.) Write lyrics I liked first thing, 2.) Have an introduction (which I did, but forgot to record) 3.) Have several chord/tempo changes 4.) Double track my vocals and work on my harmonies. I found it to be a personal success.
I do wonder if someone has some very basic advice for panning when you're essentially just doing G&G? Should both vocal tracks be panned center, one left and one right, centered with harmonies panned left or right?

Kweep
What I hate about this song is how stinking short it is. I LOVE the intro, favorite part of anything you've submitted so far. The rapping is okay, but what I would have loved is for, right where it ends now, to have turned into you singing. I imagine you being the resurrection of this.
4/5

The Special Relatives
Pretty good effort. The leads are doing much for me, but I like the rhythm parts and the lyrics are pretty good (though there seems to be like a High Schooler in College for the first time usage of swearing on SF).
3/5

Luke Henley
So your stuff doesn't do it for some people. Well I'll tell you that when I was listening to songs by artists I love to figure out how to improve my songs, your S_Rock entry was in my playlist. Incidentally, my wife has been listening to that song on repeat as well but somehow got it in her head that it was Neutral Milk Hotel. When she found out it wasn't she was like "oh, that was my favorite Neutral Milk Hotel song". Anyway, this song is no exception. Lyrically I don't like it as much as some of your others, but musically it's fantastic.
4/5

Melvin
Very polished. I've been scanning my library to see who it reminds me of, I'm getting a very familiar vibe, but can't place my finger on it. This is one of my favorites this week. Love the falsetto vocals, the guitar, bass line, everything comes together nicely and originally here.
4/5

Rone
How long have you been here Rone? For some reason I feel like we're classmates for some reason :) I think you should sell this song to William Hung. It's actually better than you give it credit for, but it would benefit from some additional instrumentation, oh yeah, and more singing!
2/5

Sir Walrus
Song Fight raps are the bane of my Song Fight reviewing existence. It would almost be nice if there was one title each week that was designated for rap. I don't really listen to rap, so even the best rap song on here is going to have a hard time competing with a decent "regular" song on here, though I would love to hear someone going more the Michael Franti & Spearhead route w/ their rhymes. This song does nothing for me, but take that w/ a grain of salt.
1/5

There was some really nice stuff on here this week. My big contenders are Henley, Seavers and Melvin.
"[...] so plodding it actually hurts a little bit" - Smalltown Mike
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furrypedro
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Post by furrypedro »

mc3p0 wrote:Dunno Appleseed Cast at all, but I take it that their drumming is perfecto.
by no means perfect, but inspirational (to me)


j$, go for it. flange


...and hows aboot some more capsaicin reviews eh? eh? eh? :wink:
Dan-O from Five-O
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Post by Dan-O from Five-O »

kill_me_sarah wrote:Dan-O
Much to my chagrin, I really find myself liking this song ;).
Yeah, it kind of grows on you don't it?

Like fungus. :wink:
jb wrote:Dan-O has a point.
JB
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Post by Andy Balham »

Andre was Here at Midnight Listening a final time, this is my favourite. Nicely off-kilter and it doesn’t sound like it’s trying to be like anyone else. Cheap Bastards Another favourite. The effected vocal works for me and has some character. Dan-O from Five-O I’m no fan on songs where the singer seems to me to feel sorry for themselves. Consequently, I’m no fan of this. Del Sesto Apart from the poorly recorded vocal, I quite enjoyed this nonsense. Donut Disturb You wanted to record a song called “Respect My Buttâ€
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Post by Kweep »

Andy Balham wrote:Kweep Minus points for the use of ‘bitch’
Yeah, you're right... saying 'bitch' in a rap song is pretty non-idiomatic. :lol:
"You’re a little like heroin..." - Smalltown Mike
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Post by Andy Balham »

Kweep wrote:Yeah, you're right...
Of course I'm right. They're my points to dole out or take away.
Kweep wrote:saying 'bitch' in a rap song is pretty non-idiomatic. :lol:
Just because everyone is doing something doesn't mean you have to. If they jumped off a cliff...
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Post by Kweep »

how high is the cliff? :)
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Post by EightLeggedOedipus »

Andre was Here at Midnight
--- Um.---
--- Like. ---
--- What the hell? ---

Cheap Bastards
+++ Your singing is creepy, sexy, and commands attention +++
--- It's unfortunately not very melodic ---
+++ This is COOOL though +++
/// Could've used a little crescendo at the end ///

Dan-O from Five-O
+++ Sweet +++
--- Sappy ---

Del Sesto
--- There used to be these bugs that would crawl
across the patio concrete once a year. They were
like millipedes mixed with slugs and potato bugs.
They were harmless, but gross. Stepping on them
was gross too, but there was a little satisfaction in
steppign on them. Kind of like the satisfaction of
skipping to the next track. ---

Donut Disturb
/// Too good to be a joke track, but too silly to be
taken seriously ///

doscientos
/// Not my cuppatee ///

Johnny Grippo
--- Dude! I just got a Fender Squier Starter
Pack for my birthday. I learned how to play
this solo. Watch me go. Oh yeah. I'm awesome.
Johnny Grippo, we should TOTALLY jam in my
parents' garage. It'll kick major butt, man. ---

Jordan Seavers
+++ This is pretty killer, man. You're rockin'
the John Lennon ostentato over soem wicked
trip hop break. That's hot. Great melodies.
In fact, you are my new hero of the day. You
are better than anything on TV. +++

Kill Me Sarah
--- Please mail me a cyanide tablet. ---

Kweep
+++ This is fucked up and hip like
Braun and the Mob. Nice tight one-verser. +++

Luke Henley
+++ Your voice is the syrup on my
chicken and waffles. Great lyrics +++
/// Even an out of tune guitar works here ///

Melvin
--- Your voice is pansy. Sing harder ---
+++ Bass line totally kaerjgks this song.
I don't know what 'kaerjgk' means exactly,
but it's something very good. Nice riffage +++

Rone Rivendale
--- Oh my god make it stop!!! ---

Sir Walrus
--- How many times can I say "bad"?
Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bda. Bad. Bad.
Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad
Bad. bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.
Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.Bad. Bad. Bad. ---

The Special Relatives
+++ Interesting +++
--- But still unlistenable. ---
/// Just clean it up. Man. This could be cool ///

The vote goes to Jason Seaver, with honorable mention to Kweep,
Cheap Bastards, Luke Henley and Melvin
<a href="http://www.mbeanis.com/0.html">Understand</a> my reviews. Voted best auto-wrecking record of 2005! "<a href="http://www.thedrinks.net/"><b>The Drinks</a></b>' - Grr!" available now.
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Andy Balham
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Post by Andy Balham »

EightLeggedOedipus wrote:Johnny Grippo
--- Dude! I just got a Fender Squier Starter Pack for my birthday. ---
It's a Nashville Deluxe Telecaster actually, but you got the Fender bit right. Thanks for the review.
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Post by tonetripper »

Top three: (no time to do full reviews)

1) Dan-O - Awesome harmonies and nice and warm in the recording. Great stuff. Love the twelve string.

2) Luke Henley - Aside from your out of tune guitar this is great. I love the robots aspect of the lyrics. Nice touch.

3)Melvin - Great departure, not much of one mind you, considering your pop sensibilities, but enough of one for me to dig.

Vote went to Dan-O.
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Post by Del Sesto »

Del Sesto
--- There used to be these bugs that would crawl
across the patio concrete once a year. They were
like millipedes mixed with slugs and potato bugs.
They were harmless, but gross. Stepping on them
was gross too, but there was a little satisfaction in
steppign on them. Kind of like the satisfaction of
skipping to the next track. ---
Ouch. I'd say that's more than a bit harsh.
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Thanks For The Frisbee
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Post by Thanks For The Frisbee »

these reviews have littlte to do with how much i liked each song, its pretty much what i imagine as your mode of transportation while you play the song. onhoy


Johnny grippa
You drive the Beverley hill billy car tricked out with smoke stacks and huge monster truck tires
Rusted out driving down the middle of suburbia

Melvin
-convertible Mazda miata going 110 mph in the fast lane because you can.

Jordan seavers- recumbent bike on a sunny day with your new mp3 player

Special relatives-dirty bare feet.

Luke Henley-leather boots three sizes too small with the toes breaking out the front.

Ron riverdale-water wings in a kiddy pool

Kweep-classic buick skylark with hydraulics and 22’s on the pavement and a 40 in your hand.

Cheap bastards-razor scooter

Don-o-from five-o-â€
Thanks for the frisbee is on Spotify, iTunes, Apple Music ect.
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