Just finished my first feature-length screenplay

WeaselSlayer · Post by **WeaselSlayer** » Tue May 02, 2006 4:14 pm

Yayyy. It's called Being Jim Jarmusch and it's a movie about movies. Sort of in the vein of Alex Cox, but without the genius. And it's full of sex, drugs, and violence. And it's finally DONE! I just wanted to share. Anybody else write scripts of any sort?

Caravan Ray · Post by **Caravan Ray** » Tue May 02, 2006 4:24 pm

Will this be a family movie?

Or perhaps a nice period drama with Dame Judie Dench and Colin Firth?

fodroy · Post by **fodroy** » Tue May 02, 2006 4:25 pm

congratulations!

i use to write screenplays for short movies that i wanted to make with my friends. they all had really stupid, non-sensical humor.

one (that i actually filmed) was about a guy named chadwick rutherford who either had 6 or 7 twin brothers, or 6 or 7 alternate personalities.

another (lost to due to computer crash) was about a group of guys who like condiments so much that they start a condiment of the month club. then they have to fight the mayor when he bans condiments.

another was about a guy who had a screwdriver for a hand and not much else.

the last one was called "fists of fury: the dan bailey story." it's pretty ridiculous, but probably the best.

Niveous · Post by **Niveous** » Tue May 02, 2006 4:27 pm

I haven't written a script in a while but back in the day when I worked in theatre, I wrote a couple of short plays. One was called the Black Hole which was inspired by the Twilight Zone episode "Five Characters in Search of An Exit" and a news story about an Asian man who glowed in the dark. Another was "The Last Penance of Simon Kent" which was the story of a gambling, drinking, womanizer who dies and now has his life judged while in Purgatory. I seem to recall writing one about Bellerophon as well. And I tried writing a couple of movie scripts. The best one I had done was one called "Shyme" about a psychic. I was really gung-ho about that one for a while until reality hit me that I was poor and in way over my head.

WeaselSlayer · Post by **WeaselSlayer** » Tue May 02, 2006 4:29 pm

Caravan Ray wrote:Will this be a family movie?

Or perhaps a nice period drama with Dame Judie Dench and Colin Firth?

Let's see:
There are at least 3 graphic sex scenes, rampant drug abuse, the severing of digits, immolation of living human flesh, 2 scenes depicting masturbation, several incidents of slander (the line "Gregory Peck was a Sex Nazi" to name one), etc.

Needless to say, the producers of Shrek and I are having lunch on Thursday to discuss production.

fodroy · Post by **fodroy** » Tue May 02, 2006 4:36 pm

WeaselSlayer wrote:Needless to say, the producers of Shrek and I are having lunch on Thursday to discuss production.

you should mention that a guy you know through the internet has an awesome idea for a porno, and that you think they'd be dumb to pass it up.

blue · Post by **blue** » Tue May 02, 2006 4:38 pm

the only thing it is lacking is pirates.

fodroy · Post by **fodroy** » Tue May 02, 2006 4:43 pm

you have your own thread!

*edit* http://www.songfight.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=2457

there you go.

blue · Post by **blue** » Tue May 02, 2006 4:47 pm

are you saying your screenplay doesn't need pirates?

it is your lack of artistic vision (re pirates) that is holding you back from major studio backing.

fodroy · Post by **fodroy** » Tue May 02, 2006 5:45 pm

yeah, you're probably right. major film studios enjoy cliches.

how about we throw some ninjas in there and maybe some gay cowboys and also mimes.

blue · Post by **blue** » Tue May 02, 2006 5:47 pm

dan..

are you dissing pirates?

fodroy · Post by **fodroy** » Tue May 02, 2006 5:49 pm

blue wrote:dan..

are you dissing pirates?

yes.

and that's on the record too.

blue · Post by **blue** » Tue May 02, 2006 5:50 pm

fodroy · Post by **fodroy** » Tue May 02, 2006 5:51 pm

hahaha. pirates don't cry!

everybody laugh at the crying pirate!!! ahahahaha.

blue · Post by **blue** » Tue May 02, 2006 5:58 pm

pirates are sensitive souls, you fuckbastard. nothing is more poetic than stealing peoples' shit on the high seas.

j$ · Post by j$ » Tue May 02, 2006 6:09 pm

fodroy · Post by **fodroy** » Tue May 02, 2006 6:16 pm

i'm just a human. no pirate or gay tendencies here. to be honest, i'm really not even a panda.

i'm also not even the songfighter you people know as "his name is dan."

WeaselSlayer · Post by **WeaselSlayer** » Tue May 02, 2006 6:17 pm

You're all thread pirates.

I said get the hell off my boat!

DJ Big Dick · Post by **DJ Big Dick** » Tue May 02, 2006 8:49 pm

I recently completed a script as well, one that has several pirates, space pirates at that. Not to menton a Yeti.

Leaf · Post by **Leaf** » Tue May 02, 2006 9:38 pm

fodroy wrote:i'm just a human. no pirate or gay tendencies here. to be honest, i'm really not even a panda.

i'm also not even the songfighter you people know as "his name is dan."

Quit fuckin with my head.

If you're gay...that is WAAYYY out of context.