y = f(x) = C(a^(-x)) (rate of decay reviews)

catch · Post by **catch** » Fri May 05, 2006 12:28 am

Middlemarch wrote:So, I guess my question is what would you do differently?

This isn't specifically for your entry, but more for future songs...

- IMO, if you have horns... use em.

- A more reasonable start would be to add another instrument to play with that would fit into your style but still add a unique dimension. I think keys (that is, piano) would be a good place to start.
- Don't resort to rap. Especially if you like 90's alternative.
- A cool thing you could try is still writing in the style you're familiar with, but with instruments/rhythms/sounds you're not familiar with. Maybe a 90's rock song with piano and tambourine taking the lead?
- Similarly, as an exercise before writing the songs you want to write, try writing songs in styles you don't much care for. But still focus on making a good song. I think that could really build some creative muscle.

Just some possibilities off the top of my sleep-deprived head. Hope you find something useful in there. Good luck!

furrypedro · Post by **furrypedro** » Fri May 05, 2006 3:19 am

Middlemarch wrote:what would you do differently?

- I second the use of different instruments, it's a way to make the song sound totally different without having to think too hard. and some synth sounds do an okay job of replacing guitars
- use a drum pattern other than the one you used. I think it changed for about 1 bar in the whole song. be inventive, they're only drums after all. you can't go far wrong
- Whenever you repeat a section, change one thing about it (arrangement, picking pattern etc)
- Don't feel like you have to play a phrase for 4 bar sections. If a chord pattern starts to sound boring halfway through the 3rd repitition just change right then. This is not the path to writing perfectly formed songs, but it does stop them from stagnating. a bit of a Pixies trick

I hope these don't seem totally useless

Middlemarch · Post by **Middlemarch** » Fri May 05, 2006 6:29 am

Furrypedro wrote:
Middlemarch wrote:what would you do differently?
- I second the use of different instruments, it's a way to make the song sound totally different without having to think too hard. and some synth sounds do an okay job of replacing guitars
- use a drum pattern other than the one you used. I think it changed for about 1 bar in the whole song. be inventive, they're only drums after all. you can't go far wrong
- Whenever you repeat a section, change one thing about it (arrangement, picking pattern etc)
- Don't feel like you have to play a phrase for 4 bar sections. If a chord pattern starts to sound boring halfway through the 3rd repitition just change right then. This is not the path to writing perfectly formed songs, but it does stop them from stagnating. a bit of a Pixies trick

I hope these don't seem totally useless

No, no...not at all...they are very helpful. This is exactly what I was looking for -- tips to enhance the song without changing it. It's funny -- I used several slightly different drum patterns in the song, but I guess they weren't different enough.

Catch, I actually did mull over some raps in my head a few weeks ago. I felt so silly, but I do want to give it a shot one of these days.

Thanks, guys.

Kill Me Sarah · Post by **Kill Me Sarah** » Fri May 05, 2006 7:19 am

Middlemarch wrote:When I recorded this song, I was so into it. I thought for sure it would kick ass this week (apologies for the blatant self-confidence), but the more I listen to it, the less I like it. It's well-done, I think, but unoriginal.

This was how I felt when I did Clouds Were Touching... I did something totally different for me and thought it was awesome, and then it got such a lukewarm reception that I started listening to it from other people's ears and it started to bore me too. Besides the fact that you play better than I do, I hear some of the same flaws in this song as that one, even though I actually quite enjoy this one (I love that 90's sound too). I don't think the 4/4 timing was bad, though I think a few more little fills here and there could have spiced up the drumming. Also, I haven't read this whole thread so I'm not sure if this has been discussed, but the drums sounded fake to me. Were they electronic or acoustic? Also, it could have used a little something else, some bass or something to round it out. I think with songs of that style and of that length, people can pick them to pieces quickly if they're aren't a lot of things happening around the edges to keep them interested.

Nigel (spOOn) Clements · Fri May 05, 2006 7:48 am

MENBAH! wrote:Eclectic Spoons - Needs a Thomas Dolby remix. Quite new-wavy and probably fun, if I could hear what you're talking about. If I'm not mistaken, your percussion track is in a different time signature than your song, which is a nice effect.

Is it?? shit!! but thanks for pointing it out, I'm so hung up on this, and the whole point of this little exercise was to get away from this whole off-beatedness, I must be a real twonk! but thanks for saying nice things...

Middlemarch · Post by **Middlemarch** » Fri May 05, 2006 7:54 am

kill_me_sarah wrote:
Middlemarch wrote:When I recorded this song, I was so into it. I thought for sure it would kick ass this week (apologies for the blatant self-confidence), but the more I listen to it, the less I like it. It's well-done, I think, but unoriginal.
This was how I felt when I did Clouds Were Touching... I did something totally different for me and thought it was awesome, and then it got such a lukewarm reception that I started listening to it from other people's ears and it started to bore me too. Besides the fact that you play better than I do, I hear some of the same flaws in this song as that one, even though I actually quite enjoy this one (I love that 90's sound too). I don't think the 4/4 timing was bad, though I think a few more little fills here and there could have spiced up the drumming. Also, I haven't read this whole thread so I'm not sure if this has been discussed, but the drums sounded fake to me. Were they electronic or acoustic? Also, it could have used a little something else, some bass or something to round it out. I think with songs of that style and of that length, people can pick them to pieces quickly if they're aren't a lot of things happening around the edges to keep them interested.

Actually, I am in between bass guitars right now -- bad break up with the last one, not really ready to move on -- so, I used my 6-string. That's why the bass feels a bit thin. The drums are Drums on Demand--real recordings, but a bit limited in the variations possible. Thanks for the feedback.

Kill Me Sarah · Post by **Kill Me Sarah** » Fri May 05, 2006 8:14 am

Go listen to my submission for Safety In Numbers and you will feel considerably better about yourself

MENBAH! · Post by **MENBAH!** » Fri May 05, 2006 10:50 am

Middlemarch, check your PMs.

starchild · Post by **starchild** » Fri May 05, 2006 7:18 pm

Starchild - Oooooo random noise collages are kinda cool, especially when they turn into minimal hiphop. I like your choice of piano plinking noises and then you actually do have some flow that is funky! But lines like "You have only fifty cent and so I give you a dollar" or however it was are kind of played out because you know 50 Cent has been around a LONG TIME. But then you start making weird metaphors about video game systems and it gets longer and longer and longer... OKAY WHAT IS WITH HIP-HOP SONGS ALWAYS BEING ABOUT HOW GOOD YOUR HIP-HOP IS? That is BORING. We don't care how good you think you are! Show don't tell!

Actually the line was" hand me your fifty cent and Ill give you a donut" which is referring to the late J Dillas album Donuts (which is scratched concurrently towards the end of the line). and yes 50 cent has been around a long time, he sucks, and that is why the next line said "you don't even have to pay I just want to throw that shit away" (thats why you were handing it to me). but yeah, I know who would've got that but me.

there was only one reference to videogames, i said the words nintendo controller once. oh and turbo button in that same sentence.

I will admit though that the song is kind of all over the place, I was just trying to rhyme about random things dealing with the title the day before it was due. I think there are some good lines in there though just no structure really. The third verse makes sense on its own and with the title but the other two verses dont fit with it especially the first.

sorry the lyrics weren't audible enough i didn't get a very good mix with the pitch shift I was using.

Steve Durand · Post by **Steve Durand** » Fri May 05, 2006 7:44 pm

MENBAH! wrote:
Steve Durand - Great instrumentation. I waver back and forth between liking and disliking the vocal style. It kinda fits, but it still feels lazy. Anyway, the arrangement is way keen and super-loungy, which doesn't suck. I'm not sure it's a favorite, but it's very listenable.

It wasn't supposed to be lazy, it was supposed to be syncopated, long triplets on the vocal. I guess I didn't execute it very well.

Steve

EightLeggedOedipus · Post by **EightLeggedOedipus** » Sat May 06, 2006 7:01 pm

Chin Music
+++ A really cool song. I like the dual Uke/MiniGtr sound +++
--- Some unsavory forced meter. ---

@eclecticspOOns
--- Mommy, I don't get it. ---

Eight Legged Oedipus
+++ I am the bizzomb. My song is short! +++
--- But my singing sucks, and my recording is so wack. ---

G. Williker
+++ riffage. bassline. attitude +++
--- poserliness. commonplace ---

Jolly Roger
+++ bjords. I mean birds +++
--- song ---
/// sorry, JR, this just isn't the one. ///
+++ short +++

Lake City
+++ Vocal timbre. I like the limiting / distortion
going on on the vocal track. Your phrasing is great +++
--- The first chorus isn't nearly as cool as the second. Outro
guitar 2 is out of time. ---

Malchicks
--- Kind of weak mix. The guitar sounds like a beginner
amp mic'ed from too far away in the middle of a bedroom.
I would have wanted stereo guitar tracks with more presence,
and the vocals more centered. The hardpanned vocals is
ditracting. ---
+++ Nice sloshy drum sound for being programmed. Good riffs.
Friendly atmosphere, nice service, and hot waitresses +++

Medmonk
--- 30 seconds and I can't stand it. ---

Melvin
+++ Hot intro. +++
--- OK because it's a P Diddy beat. I mean Jean Knight. ---

MENBAH!
--- Ouch. I feel like I just stepped in cactus. ---

Ratt Poizon
--- Part A ---
+++ Part B +++

Rone Rivendale
--- Ludes please. I need ludes. ---

Smalltown Mike
+++ Synth. Beat +++
--- Fred Durst ---
+++ Reggae vocal melody +++

Space Pub
--- vocals behind he beat ---
+++ bass +++

==========

Gotta go. To be continued...

The Special Relatives

Starchild

Steve Durand

Thanks for the Frisbee

Those Meddling Kids

rone rivendale · Post by **rone rivendale** » Sat May 06, 2006 10:27 pm

I'm sorry, what is a 'lude'?

Steve Durand · Post by **Steve Durand** » Sat May 06, 2006 10:42 pm

Rone Rivendale wrote:I'm sorry, what is a 'lude'?

http://www.a1b2c3.com/drugs/qual01.htm

rone rivendale · Post by **rone rivendale** » Sun May 07, 2006 9:41 pm

Ahh I see.
So basically I got another review not worth the ink it was written on. (and considering it's in computer type that makes it worth less huh?)

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Sun May 07, 2006 9:46 pm

By the same token, some would argue that it's fitting for a song which wasn't worth the tape it was recorded to.

Ratt Poizon · Post by **Ratt Poizon** » Sun May 07, 2006 10:09 pm

BURN!!!!!!!!!

Nigel (spOOn) Clements · Sun May 07, 2006 11:25 pm

Rone Rivendale wrote:Ahh I see.
So basically I got another review not worth the ink it was written on. (and considering it's in computer type that makes it worth less huh?)

Rone don't rise to the bait!

rone rivendale · Post by **rone rivendale** » Mon May 08, 2006 10:15 pm

Well I was tryin to be comical about it. Even though I do get miffed when someone can't take the time to let me know how much they dislike me and just add dumb ass comments instead. But I'm not complaining.

WeaselSlayer · Post by **WeaselSlayer** » Mon May 08, 2006 10:35 pm

Look, there's only so much you can say that's beneficial. People say "There's no emotion in this." People say "you're off-tempo." People say "This is annoying fruity-loops hackery with rhymes that don't even work on any sort of linguistical plane." And if you don't take any of this into account and keep making the same song every week, then I'm really sorry that people can't seem to just repeat it every time and resort to quips and burns. Branch out man, pick up a guitar or something, do something we don't expect. Then maybe we can say something we haven't already said before.

Ratt Poizon · Post by **Ratt Poizon** » Mon May 08, 2006 11:55 pm

weaselslayer is "the man." 8)

Nigel (spOOn) Clements · Tue May 09, 2006 12:01 am

Weasel's absolutely spot-on, I get it and I accept it, Eight Legged Oedipus hasn't posted anything constructive about my stupid stuff for ages mainly because I haven't been able to change the problems he commented on months ago, but I just keep on trying, but I'll give you some advice about something that seems to be helping me, Do a cover version, take the time and listen to a favourite song (or even a song you don't like, it don't matter), then try to reproduce the backing track using the tools you have at hand (software, hitting saucepans, whistling etc...) it's really quite liberating! and helps teach you about song structure, Now I'm not saying that I'm gonna come back into the main fight's in a couple of weeks as some kind of musical genius, but I'll at least have a slightly different perspective, anyway buddy if you want to rant, then PM me and I'll give you my e-mail and we can chat about this, just don't take it personally and chill!

Thanks For The Frisbee · Tue May 09, 2006 9:38 pm

i think i said i would have reviews early in this fight.....sorry.
if anyone is still watching this thread here ya go.
i started these last week so i dont remember what i said in most of it.
i just want everyone to know that no matter what i said in the reviews, over all i thought there were alot of great songs here. a lot of great effort and potential too.
bone armpit teet

Electric spoons-unique sound, haha, funny lyrics too. I like the transitions with the turn tables.
I would like to hear a change where the music and the words work around each other rather than
Stay on the same notes. Over all it was a nicely done.

Med monk-I think the guitar is too quiet and lonely. Some of the phrasing was â€˜ high school Englishâ€™ poetry sounding. â€œ the tea he did pour â€œ. stuff like that sounds a little forced to me, but what do I know?
Great effort. Spoken word worked for the music, but over all it didnâ€™t really have enough substance to hold my interest.

Starchild-good production. I like the chorus. Creative music.

Malchicks-this would have also been a great entry for â€œsufficiently intoxicatedâ€