Saving Throw

[Nigel (spOOn) Clements]

Saving Throw by spOOn

That girl has got to be the most difficult girl I know
She’s always changing her mind and she’s got plenty of guys in tow
She’s always breaking my heart and I really should let her go
I’m getting plenty of XP but my hit points are getting low

I need a saving throw

She’s in the nightclub
I’m in the dungeon
She’s out with her friends
I’m indoors with a +3 sword
I need a saving throw
I need a saving throw
Whoa oh!
I need a saving throw

I’ve been reading the marvel comics pocket book ‘The Coming of Galactus’
She’s been behind me nagging and I think she’s becoming fractious
She said something to me and then she slammed the living room door
I think she mentioned something like I’m still living in 1984

And it’s becoming a bore

She’s in the nightclub
I’m in the dungeon
She’s making new friends
I’m up against a Goblin horde
I need a saving throw
I need a saving throw
Whoa oh!
I need a saving throw

I said to my best friend that I didn’t want to live in her reality
I said I would much rather sit back and play some AD&D
He said with me more he could not agree
Then he put his arm around me and we switched on the TV

And watched Star Trek TNG

She’s in the nightclub
I’m in the dungeon
She’s got her new friends
I’m holding hands with my friend George
I got a saving throw
I got a saving throw
Whoa oh!
I got a saving throw

[Thanks For The Frisbee]

saving throw, thanks for the frisbee

You think that all of this is relevant
Well im no elephant
So I forget sometimes

You say I need to be more positive
Without a common thread
We’ve got positively nowhere else to go

Honey bee stung me in the heart
Fell into the lake and soaked it up
Till it fell apart

Honey bee only gets one try
To defend itself
It stings you then slowly dies

Ah ahs

You think that this will be your saving throw
But if you only knew
The damage it does to you

You think that paint will make you new again
Well that’s just foolish and
You are poised to fall

[Rabid Garfunkel]

Saving Throw
Rabid Garfunkel, with Thomas Alva Edison

(The Babylon 5 episode the song refers to: "A Race Through Dark Places".)

Mary had a little lamb
It's fleece was white as snow

Gotta keep up the block keep up the block keep up the
I'm not a teep, I'm as silent as a rock
So walk on by you Psi-Cop guy
You won't catch me, I'd rather die

And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go

27 rogues all holding hands
Trying to foil Bester and his evil plan
To mind wipe us at the Psi-Corps base
Into happy little zombies with a smiling face

The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father
I'm an orphan jack so please don't bother

Gotta keep up the block
Keep up the block
Keep up the block
Keep up the block
Keep up the block
Keep up the block
Keep up the block
Keep up the block
Keep up the block
Keep up the block
Keep up the block

Mary had a little lamb
Mary had a little lamb
Mary had a little lamb
Mary had a little lamb

[HansGruber]

Saving Throw
by Hans Gruber

you stayed at home for the past week
i must admit the future's bleak
dodging bullets laid you low
you're waiting for a saving throw

it's dark, i'm lost and need a friend
i've taken all that i can stand
i'm just a shadow of a man
you hold my future in your hand

you don't know how to take a joke
new york city makes you smoke
you choose a death that's long and slow
youre banking on a saving throw

it's dark, i'm lost and need a friend
i've taken all that i can stand
i'm just a shadow of a man
you hold my future in your hand

you always think you know what's best
you roll the dice in my defense
you broke my heart and sold my soul
i'm praying for a saving throw

[Plat]

Saving Throw
by The Cow Exchange

VERSE
While you're asleep, he grows feet made of microsuede and becomes straight-backed. Powered, by nanotechnology. He leaves no hints of fingerprints or creaked steps as he makes an exit, destined, to stop a robbery.

There's a girl, in the corner, taking orders from a forward man, the target of his aim. And ohhh, the throw's a lightweight. He sneaks in sideways, wraps himself 'round the man's gun and then his face.

CHORUS
Who has altruistic goals, a bleached back and unpatched holes, and far more Goodwill than he has home?
Who keeps the villains grumbling, and you with blanket coverage from foes? It's SAVING THROW!

VERSE
Silence, now passed out, outlaw's restrained. The throw is drained and continues on his route. To the 24/7 course of cleaning where he gets his dreaming when he's not passed out on the couch.

Eyes closed, he envisions brooding. Moths are colluding to do damage to the fabric on the rack. And ohhh, the throw's a dancer. Thrusts his belly faster, blowing them away and laying down the smack!

(CHORUS)

[GlennCase]

<b>Frontalittle Squad
Saving Throw</b>

(Def Author)

What's with all the dice, I rolled low, can I roll twice
I don't know what character to be, but magic's nice
(Let me get this straight, you've never played this) - (J Mase)
I tried once or twice, but haven't messed with it in ages
I used to play the Bard's Tale, and that's
About as close as I ever came to rolling for stats
(It's cool, I'll help you out, and Drew will too) - (J Mase)
Hey where are the cheetos, and where's the mountain dew?

(J Mase)

Have a look at this sheet, it's complete because I made it
(I need to be a bard for sure, 'cause that's my favorite) - Glenn
That can be arranged, we'll just change it on the paper
(and I'll give you some cool items if you're on your best behaviour) - Drew
Here's where your hit points are, and here's your money
And the die that you'll be rolling the most is D 20
Mumblecore's in charge, 'cause he's the dungeon master
So listen to his story, as we set out for disaster

(Mumblecore)

"I put the magic in magic missile
Does That clear things up? (Uh, no) Well this will!
I’m the D to the M, man the el capitan
The Dapper Dan trapper man who’s not a rapper fan and
I’m managing you and your clan (That’s us!)
Telling you E-X-P or bust!
And I trust you’ll dig the setting of our story
(is it somewhere that rocks?) Yeah, a Quarry"

(CHORUS)

Roll the Dice
And then tell me what it is
I want a twenty
Please don't let it be a critical miss

(Soda)

Chillin' in the basement 'cause it's Warcraft patch day
Time for D&D? I'm a Frontalittle mainstay
I've been chaotic neutral since age ten!
fought the dragon's den-spawn, men. I'm a star at gencon
Before we start I'll tell y'all: noone better do me wrong
I'm suspicious of some antics since they happen in every song
I've had some teammates who know how to ruin a campaign
But I'm hoping FAL won't give me reason to complain

(Jon Eric)

It's true, I've never seen a bot play tabletop
(What about that cyborg?) I heard they made him stop
(So we're in the clear?)
No, there's a problem here
The kinda thing that makes me say what the fuck?
See there's a guy at this table, in this very game
Avoiding battles, acting lame
It's like Hoody-Hoo
He's stealing booty, too
(So who is it?) I ain't naming names... yet

(Savvy One)

Baccarat's on to something
He ain't frontin'
There's a traitor at the table
and he's leaving us with nothing
We do all the work, and like a jerk
he takes the gold
And by the time we realise it all the booty has been sold
And speaking of booty I got a brownie for that ass
Is there a ranger in the house, I think we better check for traps
He's a tricky little mutha, and I wouldn't put it past him
When we find out where he's hiding,
Best believe I'm gonna blast him

(Repeat Chorus)

(Hoblit)

Hoblit is on the case fellow fronters
gonna assemble our own fellowship of the whoop ass
Tribes are gonna clash so break out some fear gas
We'll bump this chump and melt his tiny balls of brass
gonna catch this dwarf gonna stomp on his ball sack
take another wack then listen to his head crack
then were gonna wha wha wha? DM says were surrounded?
we're asstounded while our hit points are getting pounded

(Ken)

All I know is that someone here is slacking
Hiding in the back cause his bravery is lacking
Now we battle Venger one more time
Who do I see at the back of the line
Tycho staring at the tops of his shoes
You'd think that someone cast a spell that turned him into glue
how we gonna triumph whan all he does is parry
Time to get into this battle instead of acting like a fairy
I better get the Def Author in on this
I think the dungeon master's gonna be a little pissed

(Tycho)

Qu'elle heure est-il, mothafuckas!
Qu'elle temps fait-il? Yo

So it's tycho with the tight flow toting syllables
Here's the syllabus: us is eminently killable!
goddamn dm glonmed on to my sche-m, hit my lj, watch me post-it like 3M
Every party's got a player like me - rocking treachery, best belie
that I'm out to get the best of the

party i sold to a sentient mold, subterranean
arrangemens, y'all would never see the day again
geraniums up on that casket, closed
while i'm up to my helm in platinum and gold

but that dungeon master is a bastard, i seen him
reroll my saving throw behind behind the game screen? an

incinerated by some lava trap
with spikes in the front, cold spikes in the back
and for this, you tore the corner of my character sheet? There goes my
thief, just like right click, delete? Just wait until the character
after this
one
shit anachronistic with those akimbo guns
mothafuckas!

[fodroy]

Danyer's raps and rhymes are too good to post in some stupid thread.

[Steve Durand]

Saving Throw
By Steve Durand

At the end of every day
I set a side some time I can play
I adopt a different name
And lose myself in a role-playing game

Going on a treasure quest
The dungeon master fasions the test
When our fortunes start to fade
A saving throw will come to our aid

You be a wizard and I'll be a warrior
We're quite a team, you and I
Deep in a dungeon with danger surrounding us
Trusting our fate to a roll of the die

In the hall to our dismay
There's a Death Knight blocking the way
Finding ourselves in a scrape
A saving throw ensures our escape

High upon the citadel
An evil warlock's casting a spell
Before things go from bad to worse
A saving throw will counter the curse

You be a wizard and I'll be a warrior
We're quite a team, you and I
Deep in a dungeon with danger surrounding us
Trusting our fate to a roll of the die

When our game comes to an end
The problems of the real world descend
All in all it's plain to see
A saving throw is what we all need

[Reist]

So it really looks like I had no idea what saving throw meant when I wrote this song. Whatever. Here's my lyrics.

Saving Throw - By Jolly Roger

So sick of sucking up to you -
You'll never understand.
Showing, flaunting what you have -
Pretending you're a better man.

I just don't get why
You shove success in my face.
Use your time for something useful
I already feel disgraced.

And I hope you know
I'm just saving throw.
Everytime you come to town
I hate it when you're around.

You should see that
I'm holding back.
It's not tough to see
There's another side to me.

I used to look up to you.
You used to respect me.
What happened to your dignity?
Just give me some room to breathe.

--Poor JR Guitar Solo

And I hope you know
I'm just saving throw.
Everytime you come to town
I hate it when you're around.

You should see that
I'm holding back.
It's not tough to see
There's another side to me.

End