I had something similar happen to me. When I was 12 I was staying with my uncle and every night a snake would sneak into his bed and bite him on the wang. In the morning I'd have to suck the venom out. I don't know what he did after I left.Caravan Ray wrote:I got bit by a snake in south-west Queensland.
I didn't see the snake - I just woke up with a bruised and swollen ankle, and matching fang marks in my leg and trousers. It wasn't really a near-death experience I suppose, because the snake obviously didn't envenomate me - I just like telling people I was bit by a snake.
The coolest thing is that I was bit in the area of Queensland (east of Boulia) that is the right in the middle of the only known habitat area for Oxyuranus microlepidotus (aka [url=http://en.[CENSORED].org/wiki/Fierce_Snake] the Fierce Snake[/url] or Inland Taipan) which is known as the snake with the deadliest venom on earth. I think it helps the story somewhat if I casually suggest that it was one of those that bit me - though it's highly unlikely that is was. The main candidates would be a Death Adder (though quite a small one due to the fang spacing) or an Eastern Brown Snake (which is actually a far more dangerous snake than the Fierce snake anyway).
In actual fact - the chances of being randomly killed by a snake are virtually zero - so, as I said, it wasn't really a near death experience.
Unlike this bloke who has a much better snake story to tell.
Ever have a Near Death Experience?
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Denyer
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Niveous wrote:It's a song about your dick and there's just not enough material to satisfy.
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Caravan Ray
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You should have explained to your uncle that sucking the venom out is the wrong treatment for elapid snakes. A very, very tight pressure bandage is what he needed.
Also, no Australian venomous snakes actually climb* - so it's more likely it was a non-venemous python creeping into his bed. I'm sure if you explain to him now that you spent all that time sucking his penis for no reason at all, you'll both have a good laugh!
(*except of course for the slightly venemous Brown Tree Snke, but you won't find one of them in Victoria)
Also, no Australian venomous snakes actually climb* - so it's more likely it was a non-venemous python creeping into his bed. I'm sure if you explain to him now that you spent all that time sucking his penis for no reason at all, you'll both have a good laugh!
(*except of course for the slightly venemous Brown Tree Snke, but you won't find one of them in Victoria)
Last edited by Caravan Ray on Fri Aug 25, 2006 7:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
You know, maybe this is off-topic, as it deals with death experiences rather than near death ones, but it seems like an awful lot of Darwin Award nominations go to people in Australia. Statistical anomaly, or generations of chronic inbreeding?Caravan Ray wrote:I got bit by a snake in south-west Queensland.
...
In actual fact - the chances of being randomly killed by a snake are virtually zero - so, as I said, it wasn't really a near death experience.
Unlike this bloke who has a much better snake story to tell.
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Caravan Ray
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Well, Darwin is in Australia - so obviously its easier for us to get to the Awards Ceremony. Duhbzl wrote:You know, maybe this is off-topic, as it deals with death experiences rather than near death ones, but it seems like an awful lot of Darwin Award nominations go to people in Australia. Statistical anomaly, or generations of chronic inbreeding?Caravan Ray wrote:I got bit by a snake in south-west Queensland.
...
In actual fact - the chances of being randomly killed by a snake are virtually zero - so, as I said, it wasn't really a near death experience.
Unlike this bloke who has a much better snake story to tell.
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Yook
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Apparently, I should have died soon after being born. Had a bit of blockage in a major blood vessel near my heart. Experimental cave-man medicine of 1974 managed to save my life. Since then, I've routinely done (or had done to me) stupid things that should have probably killed me. Plus, I apparently almost died of appendicitis, but it was stabilized at the last possible moment.
There have been a lot of car accidents (all of them, I shit you not, /not/ my fault). I've some bad luck there. Favorite was the cement truck coming through the back window of the car I was in, sitting in the back. How we all survived, unhurt, I am not sure at all.
However, the only real "near death experience" I've had was while on drugs, so it may not count.
I was heffed up on goofballs. Actually, I was on a regular dose of mushrooms. Two friends and I had had, until that moment, a particularly awesome trip on our way "up", with lots of shared hallucinations and some interesting insights. We hiked from the Grotto, where we began our "journey", across campus in the dead of winter over to one of the guys' dorm room. For those that don't know, when you're tripping stuff like "cold air and snow" doesn't really seem all that important, so I had my jacket open all along the walk. (Thus, the adage "all cars, real or imaginary, are real".)
Strangely, I was sobered up a bit by the walk. The minor exertion combined with the bracing cold, I bet. Once we got to the dorm room, the whole "oh shit, I forgot, I'm tripping" thing happened. The room was cozy, hot, dark and decidedly purple. The Orb was playing loudly on the stereo. I had to poop! And boy, was I tripping hard (we were about half-way through the trip, at the apex, as it were).
Bathrooms being the bane of most tripping people, you can imagine my consternation at having to poop. Which I did, with some difficulty. On my way out of the bathroom (and here comes the point of this story), I basically collapsed, curling up into the fetal position. I had no idea what was happening. However, part of the trip so far had been reliving the stages of life from infant to adult to old age. Possibly, I just died of old age.
Shortly, I stopped breathing. Soon after that, I died. Seriously. I floated out of my body, heading towards the light. While I was floating, I looked down at my non-living body and saw that I was a wrinkled old man. Looking down the hall, I noticed my friend walking out of his room and down the hall towards me, where he sat down on the ground next to my body and just sort of looked at it.
As I started to float off towards the light, I got a subliminal "nope, not done yet" sort of message, and was slammed back down into my body. I woke up with a gasp, finding myself still curled up on the floor. However, and this was the, heh, trippy part...I was now completely and utterly sober. From the pinnacle of the trip to complete sobriety in one moment.
I turned to my friend and asked him what he saw. He said I was a wrinkled old dead guy, and then I woke up and I was me again. That was surprising, since I never shared that bit about the stages of life trip I was on with either of my buddies.
I spent the rest of the night acting as a sober spirit guide for my friends, who of course were tripping balls and thus took everything I said as gospel. I got a lot of free cigarettes out of that.
And that's the story of my near death experience.
-Yook, who by all rights should have been actually dead a half-dozen times so far, by his reckoning...
There have been a lot of car accidents (all of them, I shit you not, /not/ my fault). I've some bad luck there. Favorite was the cement truck coming through the back window of the car I was in, sitting in the back. How we all survived, unhurt, I am not sure at all.
However, the only real "near death experience" I've had was while on drugs, so it may not count.
I was heffed up on goofballs. Actually, I was on a regular dose of mushrooms. Two friends and I had had, until that moment, a particularly awesome trip on our way "up", with lots of shared hallucinations and some interesting insights. We hiked from the Grotto, where we began our "journey", across campus in the dead of winter over to one of the guys' dorm room. For those that don't know, when you're tripping stuff like "cold air and snow" doesn't really seem all that important, so I had my jacket open all along the walk. (Thus, the adage "all cars, real or imaginary, are real".)
Strangely, I was sobered up a bit by the walk. The minor exertion combined with the bracing cold, I bet. Once we got to the dorm room, the whole "oh shit, I forgot, I'm tripping" thing happened. The room was cozy, hot, dark and decidedly purple. The Orb was playing loudly on the stereo. I had to poop! And boy, was I tripping hard (we were about half-way through the trip, at the apex, as it were).
Bathrooms being the bane of most tripping people, you can imagine my consternation at having to poop. Which I did, with some difficulty. On my way out of the bathroom (and here comes the point of this story), I basically collapsed, curling up into the fetal position. I had no idea what was happening. However, part of the trip so far had been reliving the stages of life from infant to adult to old age. Possibly, I just died of old age.
Shortly, I stopped breathing. Soon after that, I died. Seriously. I floated out of my body, heading towards the light. While I was floating, I looked down at my non-living body and saw that I was a wrinkled old man. Looking down the hall, I noticed my friend walking out of his room and down the hall towards me, where he sat down on the ground next to my body and just sort of looked at it.
As I started to float off towards the light, I got a subliminal "nope, not done yet" sort of message, and was slammed back down into my body. I woke up with a gasp, finding myself still curled up on the floor. However, and this was the, heh, trippy part...I was now completely and utterly sober. From the pinnacle of the trip to complete sobriety in one moment.
I turned to my friend and asked him what he saw. He said I was a wrinkled old dead guy, and then I woke up and I was me again. That was surprising, since I never shared that bit about the stages of life trip I was on with either of my buddies.
I spent the rest of the night acting as a sober spirit guide for my friends, who of course were tripping balls and thus took everything I said as gospel. I got a lot of free cigarettes out of that.
And that's the story of my near death experience.
-Yook, who by all rights should have been actually dead a half-dozen times so far, by his reckoning...