Lord of Oats wrote:
I like how you refer to me to my own post. I think I explained there that the recording process was rushed, so...yeah. I can't really disagree with any of the criticisms. I wasn't too impressed with the composition, so I guess I didn't put any more into it than I had to to get it done...which was way more than I was expecting. I can't decide if it's worth attempting a rescue.
Oh, wait, though. I was totally excited that Satan dropped in for recording...his appearance in the breakdown is my favorite part...I can't get on board with you there. But thanks for pointing out the other nice things about it, anyway.
Sorry, leaving out the 'I' before 'read' magically changes the meaning of the word.
I too, am always pleased to have Satan drop in, but he doesn't need to yell. After all, He is Satan.
Sorry for the misinterpretation. It did look like a command with no pronoun there.
And of course Satan doesn't have to yell, but when he does, you know he means business.
HansGruber wrote:Tig - Great first song. Love it - very ephemeral and tasty. Your voice is a little odd, which gives this a nice unique melancholy. Love the "Drug in the atmosphere" line - this is very old school psychadelia. That synth pad is nice too - just a touch. The restrained instrumental really lets your vocal harmonies shine.
I appreciate your review, you seem to recognize what I was going for. This song was really supposed to be 'just a touch.' I tryed to make the vocals airy and pseudo-distant to put the song in perspective with the hopelessness of the thought-merry-go-round, if you know what I mean. Thanks for the descriptive review!!
The weakest suit
The lyrics and the tune, particularly the introduction have a really naive quality which is really endearing. Chorus is fairly catchy, and there's a variety in structure. . . for some reason I think this could be really well executed as a dance track, mainly because the chorus is the strong part.
veGetar Ianra Ge
For some reason, I associate the style with fairly sleazy pop music, so it was an interesting contrast to hear it used in the context of a break-up song. It was well recorded and sung, and easy to listen to. Nice harmonies in places. Maybe a little long, but not gratuitiously so. The only song with a fadeout in the fight that sounds like it should have one. A little lift-musicy overall.
Tig
I enjoyed the harmonies and background singing, but there was overall a lot of this song, I felt finished about 3 minutes in.
Slit Tearduct
You got the length just about right. But I get the feeling this was a song made to be sent to a particular person, and possibly not shared with the world in general. Well, until the hearing for the restraining order.
Sheail
This is pretty good, although it feels bare in spots at the top where there aren't enough guitar layers, or something? I'm not sure what.
The first solo reminds me of sonic adventure. Heh. Anyway, it sounds like there was a lot of effort in it. Doesn't grab me but well done.
Senza Valore
At the start. nice and light, if a little samply. After a while, it gets a little repetitive and slow, and the 'my broken heart' doesn't match the underlying samples that well, in all the places it is used. The ending sucks, as you can hear the rhythm doesn't match either.
Ross Durand
I like your lyrics, and the rough style you've got going on here, as all the normal shortcomings I like to pick on are actually features not flaws. And this stands as a really nice, rounded .. what? Folk song? I can imagine being in a group of people enjoying singing the chorus of this together. Good work.
Rabid Garfunkel
Made me laugh the first time through. Nicely done.
Best wishes for a speedy convalescence.
Paco Del Stinko
Hardcore. Nice theremin stylings.
Melvin
I really like the last half, and not the first half.
MC Eric B
Have you tried singing an octave higher? I wonder if you might be a stronger singer in a higher range.
Lord Of Oats
This was very very bass-heavy. And the cymbals were a bit too much. And the shouting.. didn't really do it for me. Try experimenting with reverb or echo/delay on your vocals if you're going for a more metal sound, and double-tracking your guitar. (maybe one left, and one right)
*shrug*
Lonbobby
Reminded me of air, but slightly more dynamic. It's a nice tune, although at the end, it seems a little dissonant. I didn't quite get the reference to Broken Heart though.
Kristin
Good variety of structure, some very pretty sections, let down by weaknesses in lyrics and accompaniment.
The padded sections, like the introduction and the 'doo doo doos' in the middle are very pretty, and the lyrics aren't terrible, although they are a little vague, and underpowered. There's a gulf between 'that wasn't cool' and 'my heart is broken' that isn't bridged by the accompaniment. The whole thing is a little too weedy for my taste. I was expecting something with a lot more balls to kick in, with all the stops and starts, but they didn't really go anywhere. Still, overall it's a good effort. I'd like to hear you get some electric guitar in, and really let rip with your vocals, or carry on experimenting with the vocal breakdowns that were the highlight of this song for me.
Klownhole
It's nice to hear another Klownhole song. This one felt like it was all introduction and ending. However, the overall feeling really comes through, even though the lyrics are often not clear at times.
KB Bren
I'm imagining Axel Rose or Rolling Stones influences here. There's loads of potential, but the continuous non-stopping chord sequence lets it down, and it gets plodding. The one change happens 3 seconds before a fadeout, which is rarely the best way to end a song. Overall not bad, just raise the vocals a little, aim for more variety in structure and arrangement. Perhaps dropping out everything but a guitar for one verse, and then add in other instruments to build up to a solo. And if you don't have a lot of different ideas, keep the song short.
The Hell Yeahs
Great variety in arrangement and structure. Really didn't like it the first time through, but second time through, completely changed my opinion. The only thing that doesn't feel right, is the drumming seems a little frenetic in the "I don't want you to be..." section, compared to what the other parts are doing at that point.
Hans Gruber: Ultimate Villain
This is not bad just a little dreary. Nothing in it stands out as particularly praiseworthy or egregious - I like harmonies, and for the most part the vocals were clear, but the fadeout is still bad. From the name I would have expected something a little more suave or dynamic.
Embers of Authumn
You put effort into this, shame about the L/R thing. I hear a variety of different vocal styles and effects, variation in accompaniment and a bunch of other things that make me like it. I really hope you enter another songfight again and continue to improve, as you sound like you could get really good with practice.
Bushido Stylus
Uhh. Okay, I don't want to be too harsh. But if you're going to rap on songfight, you need to bring something pretty special. Your beats are boring, and way to slow for what you're doing. . . And... oh God. If all you're doing is talking, then you've got to keep me interested. If you did this at 6 times the speed, the lyrics wouldn't be any better, but it would be over faster and you'd demonstrate that you had some skill at talking quickly. And why the dull low monotone? Are you, for example, 14, and trying to pretend you're older, droning along the bottom of your range? Play to your strengths. If you like the damn game, make me feel excited about it too.
You may disagree that music is entertainment. But that's the way I look at it, and how I evaluate it. Can you point to anything that you did here that was supposed to be entertaining? If you enter songfight again, bring some fight. kthxbye.
Blues Train Blues
Well you got the title in. And I'm glad you got it out of your system. I've shown in the past that I totally don't get this particular style of american music, so I'm not going to comment further, except to say that even the worst styles have exceptional examples that stand out and gain a wider appeal, but that wasn't the case for this song with me.
Audio Video Intercourse
I believe you've got something here. The ending was very weak. The melodic elements weren't great. But after I resisted the initial urge to protect my ears I got to the end without getting too bored. In your situation I would have slapped on some pretty aggressive power chords on the bottom of this, and a solo, and sold it to the
late-night alternative goth/metal/indie club scene. As it is, it needs more ideas and more work on it before I'd want to get up and dance to it, even if I was drunk.
Andre Was Here at Midnight
I didn't particularly like it, but I can't point anything particular.
Rabid Garfunkel
Nice horns – the scream! Give me my rabie shots….I liked this tune. It sounds like, “Animal and his Muppet Orchestra” in a good way
Paco Del Stinko
Excellent. Tasty bass and drum work. Like the lyrics. Head Bangin THERAMIN!
Klownhole
Nice keys. Like drinking mercury. Wish I could have made out the vox a little more. Over all though it was fortified with vitamin M.
KB Bren
Good work here. Liked the chorus. The acoustic guitar sounds tinny. Bring the guitar solo up front in the mix, it’s nice work but should be prominent like the vox during the solo section. Nice barroom feel, dig it.
The Hell Yeahs
Liked the bass line especially on the chorus. Good keys or what sounds like keys and guitar work. Overall I liked the song I just think it suffered in the mix.
Hans Gruber: Ultimate Villain
Like the intro and the what sounded like a clap track. Good harmonies, groovy keys on the switch to the verse (very moogy loved it). Maybe mix the lead vox a bit clearer and up front. Overall I liked it.
Embers of Authumn
Mix killed this for me. The music I hear in the background sounds good but it’s way to hard to pick out.
Bushido Stylus
The Legend of Zelda? WoW, the music didn’t keep me interested but the lyrics did make me break out my Super Nintendo.
Billy's Little Trip feat. Wages
Nice marrying of styles. As always the music is tight as tight can be. The vox are great but there are spots here and there where the singing is a touch off key. However it is far more on than it is off. Nicely done gentlemen.
Blues Train Blues
Spoken word nature of the song lost me. If the song was to keep me interested the music really needed to stand out and be interesting too because the vocals lost me.
Audio Video Intercourse
This time it was my kidney…my one good kidney…it exploded. Not since the movie Liquid Sky have I heard music that almost sent me into a bad trip without being on LSD. Interesting albeit a little uninspired; at least that’s what the breathing walls are telling me.
Andre Was Here at Midnight
Send the lead guitar back on the intro and the verses. Bring the vox a little more forward, you have the ability to sing, let it shine. Throw a bridge in there and you got me.
Add
Good storytelling. Good lyrics. I would have liked it better with some more instruments but sometimes that can’t be helped.
The weakest suit
The musical interlude between the verses was very cool. The subtlety of the song makes it very appealing. Liked the chorus but I feel that there could be another change into a bigger chorus at the end of the run…it leaves me wanting. I dig this.
veGetar Ianra Ge
Nice song overall. Flute? have to love that! Lead vox were perfect for the genre. It is in my top 3 of this fight. Almost a steely dan feel on the outro. Nicely executed. On the 5 steak scale this rates 4 and a half steaks.
Tig
I liked the fade in and the intro was tight. Very nice guitar work. I liked the verses and lead vox I don’t know what it is but it I really enjoyed them. Even though they were off in parts there was a charm to them that made this song enjoyable.
Slit Tearduct
LOL – nice lyrics – short and un-sweet and heartfelt towards the ho-bag.
Sheail
Nice guitar work, I like the intro how it drops into the verse. Vox are up front which is nice. Add a little reverb to the lead vox. Harmonies are decent. I like the chorus. The verses just don’t grab me but again I do like the chorus and great guitar work. I can hear a ton of effort here.
Senza Valore
Had a nice intro and a Some Great Reward era Depeche Mode feel on the lead vox. The sample of “my broken heart,” was way off and this really shows on the outro. Great use of samples sans the aforementioned “my broken heart”.
Ross Durand
Wow, awesome storytelling folk rock. Good picking. The harmonies could have been a little tighter, if you were to go for a blue grass style on the harmonies this song would be kick ass good. Wait, the song is kick ass good. It would just be kick ass “gooder” if you add blue grass style harmonies.
Melvin
Liked the intro, nice departure of styles almost has a fifties feel (Morrissey-esque musically) with just a hint of emo, but not enough to make me turn it off. Nice bass run.
MC Eric B
You can tickle those ivories pretty well. The vox track doesn’t really do it for me. Someone here mentioned singing higher, you may want to try that.
Lord Of Oats
Nice guitar intro – heavy and light liked them both. The cadence was off just a little bit on the verses. The high part was off key and the bass was way too heavy on the mix. There is potential here just didn’t bring your A game when mixing this song or recording the vox.
Lonbobby
Has a TV Eyes feel to it with just a hint of Jason Falkner solo. It was very interesting. Nothing in terms of feedback on what to work on here. Not my favorite style but for the genre you nailed it. Good mix, well done.
Kristin
I liked the intro. The keys were a nice touch. The start stop continue was nice and not distracting. Nice chorus – totally different from the verse and yet it goes well. There were lot’s of changes and I like when it can be done well and you did them well. Liked the doo’s. Sing from the diaphragm and let it all out as the only weak part was the lead vox.
Last edited by The Sleestak on Sun Sep 09, 2007 10:17 am, edited 2 times in total.
The Sleestak wrote:Not since the movie Liquid Sky have a heard music that almost sent me into a bad trip without being on LSD.
You, sir or madam, are a scholar and a gentleman/lady.
And in other news, the grand experiment (audio reviews over your songs) is in the can. Just have to figure out how to export it the way I want it and then, pro'lly tomorrow evening, they'll be posted.
It looks like a poor mixing based of a mistake of using mono instead of stereo really has left a bad taste in the mouth of listeners. I honestly didn't mean to do that. However, I remixed the tracks this morning to allow them to be stereo. The song itself is unchanged, so if you didn't like the song, you can ignore this post. However, if you wanna give mine one more go, I've got it uploaded here. I know most everyone has probably already voted, so I know it won't have an effect on that, but I'd like for those who kinda liked it to give it another chance.
(again, I didn't change anything about the mismatch rhythm in the few places, or the horribly poor vocals. Sorry, that's one thing I've yet to figure out)
"Out of all I've learned in Life,
You always keep your friends close to your heart,
cause they'll help you if you're falling down..."
- The Ataris - Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, B, A, Start
Guys I love all the reviews, and the audio commentary. As for the vocals in my song, well it was very experimental for me. I was using a few new mic techniques I have been working on. They could have used a little more low end though, and the drums definetely should come up, I agree. The lyrics are 'chapter of scribbled art.' Oh and Tig is pronounced as rhyming with 'fig.' It's an old nickname I used to have. My real name is Tye. Thanks everyone, it be a grand fight!!
here's my formal apology for submitting the slit tearduct song; i had hoped to submit something that was measurably serious, and maybe even pleasant, but i couldn't find the time. but yea, slit tear duct was an awful, awful, joke, and was not even intended to be submitted.
here's hoping that never ever happens again.
Add: Good GnG. Nice vocal performance and pretty sweet chord progression and melody. Clever and amusing lyrics too. Good job all around.
Andre Was Here At Midnight: Really like the vocal style here, but the guitars are just a little too out of tune and generally atonal to be very pleasing to my ears. Particularly the “lead” guitar in the right channel. It kind of spoils an otherwise good-sounding song. Still dig the vocals though.
AUDIO VIDEO iNTERCOURSE: Not my thing.
Billy's Little Trip feat. Wages: Yay for super-duos! Wow, those are some pretty rockin’, manly vocals. I have to say that, melodically, this is not one of my favourite BLT tunes, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard Wages sound tighter or more focused. Good job, fellas.
Blues Train Blues in D: Weak.
Bushido Stylus: I don’t know anything about video games, so maybe this went over my head. Although that probably wouldn’t have mattered so much if the rapping was tighter.
Embers of Autumn: I think I hear a decent song in here, but it’s just not hanging together very well (by which I mean the vocals are not connecting with what’s happening in the instrumental track). I wouldn’t write the track off completely, because you have good sensibilities – you just need to refine your craft a little more.
Hans Gruber: Ultimate Villain: This is pretty chill and very well executed. Not overly villainous, but a cool track nonetheless. Well done.
The Hell Yeahs: I’m not sure if this has the instant catchiness of some previous Hell Yeahs songs, but when you sing, “broken piece of shit”, you sound really, really cool. Dig the drum tones too.
KB Bren: Pretty hot lead playing. The song ain’t bad, but it’s a bit too plodding and predictable even for my standards of notoriously predictable pop/rock.
Klownhole: Love the heaviness as always. Recording sounds great.
Kristin: LOVED the intro. Lost me a bit when the vocals kicked in… and never quite got me back fully. The mood was lost, and it just wasn’t coming back. The bridge made sense, but that chorus section seems like a really odd choice vis-à-vis the original mood of the song. Great production throughout, but a little unfocused in terms of songwriting.
Lonbobby: Not my bag. But at least I know how to say your name now! Bobby, not lobby.
Lord of Oats: I like the heaviness of this, but for a song this long, I think there needs to be more sophistication and variation in the writing and arranging. But I totally dig the smashing-the-shit-out-of-things aesthetic. As with a lot of Klownhole’s stuff, this is music I’d rather see live than listen to in headphones, because it’s more loud and aggro and visceral than, uh, tuneful.
MC Eric B: Dude, I like your moxie, and far be it for me to discourage anyone from whatever creative expression floats their boat, but these canned backing tracks are just excruciating.
Melvin: As far as rating my own songs go, I rate this as outstanding. At least, it’s my favourite of the last dozen or more.
Paco Del Stinko: You are a true master. You obviously have the chops to do whatever the heck you want, and you always come up with fresh, lively, creative, awesome and often funny music that is never boring or predictable. I'd like to be your friend.
Rabid Garfunkel: Like the trumpet line in the right channel, and I really chuckled at the pained moaning after a minute and a half or so. Nice tones throughout. As usual, I’d appreciate this more if it had a strong lead melody.
Ross Durand: Nice traditional songwriting. Very nicely played and sung, too.
Senza Valore: Very nice, warm sound. The vocal doesn’t quite sell it, but the instrumental track has a definite je ne sais quoi that made me feel like sun tanning. I wish it was sunny, but it’s not. Hahaha.
Sheail: Guitarmonies grabbed me right off the top. Nice tight vocals. The chorus seemed a little flat, not pitch-wise, but in terms of energy and melodic dynamics. Nice retro vibe on the solo. I like this tune, but for a rock song of this sort, which can tend to get pretty sludgy, I’d consider taking the chorus melody higher starting in the 5th or 6th bars to give it a lift.
Slit Tearduct: Wanky and tuneless.
Tig: Really beautiful singing, wow. Lovely warm recording too. Lots of harmonic interest in this. I really thought there was going to be a change of direction around 3 minutes, and I was a touch sorry that things just kind of stayed the same. Short attention span on my part, maybe. But the cute lyrics kept it interesting. Overall, this may be my favourite of the fight so far. Great work.
veGetar Ianra Ge: This is oddly alluring. Reminds me of The Style Council. It’s got guilty pleasure written all over it. Yeah, it’s good. Really well performed and recorded too. Hehe… I feel a little embarrassed. Nice work.
The Weakest Suit: This sounded promising at first, but ultimately, the song just kind of seemed to wander around without a real theme or hook that I could hold on to. Or, at least, the catchy iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou parts were separated by too much unfocused stuff to save the song as a whole.
EmbersOfAutumn wrote:However, if you wanna give mine one more go, I've got it uploaded here.
Sounds great. For some reason, PureVolume likes playing this song at half speed. It's actually kind of cool at that speed, though the volcals are too muddy. The track plays fine when downloaded.
melvin wrote:
veGetar Ianra Ge: This is oddly alluring. Reminds me of The Style Council. It’s got guilty pleasure written all over it. Yeah, it’s good. Really well performed and recorded too. Hehe… I feel a little embarrassed. Nice work.
Thanks man! I'm not familiar with the Style Council but I'll give them a listen. It's nice to get a positive review from someone so consistently good. It's ok to be embarrassed....it is lounge music...
Haikus are easy
but they don't always make sense
refrigerator.
Mr and Mrs Garfunkel, those reviews ROCK! I know it had to be a lot of work, so very much appreciated. Mrs Garfunkel sounds hot.
By the way, now that you mention it, this tune really does sound like something Drama Rama would do, so kudos for making me go youtubing DR. I forgot how much they rock.
I like it when the break hit, and you both gave a surprised, "oh nice". That's what it's all about. That one comment makes it all worthwhile.
Thanks guys
spinlock wrote: Lord Of Oats
This was very very bass-heavy. And the cymbals were a bit too much. And the shouting.. didn't really do it for me. Try experimenting with reverb or echo/delay on your vocals if you're going for a more metal sound, and double-tracking your guitar. (maybe one left, and one right)
*shrug*
Hmm...the cymbals were turned way down, actually. Shouting? Where I'm from, we call that screaming. But here on SF, we just call it Satan! I guess the shrug pretty much says it. Thanks.
The Sleestak wrote:Lord Of Oats
Nice guitar intro – heavy and light liked them both. The cadence was off just a little bit on the verses. The high part was off key and the bass was way too heavy on the mix. There is potential here just didn’t bring your A game when mixing this song or recording the vox.
These are good observations, but you mistakenly assumed that I have an A game. Thanks.
