These Things Kick Ass

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Tue Nov 23, 2004 7:48 pm

More TV-B-Gone fun: some people recorded the IR signals and used a sound-to-IR convertor to get the same effect with an <a href="http://www.engadget.com/entry/123400047 ... /">iPod</a>.

Also, I wonder how much of the mesmerizing effect of TV is caused by the retrace flicker, which seems to grab peoples' attention pretty easily. On my way to the subway today I peeked into a sports bar because I noticed they had LCD TVs instead of CRTs, and it didn't look like anyone was staring at them, though I didn't look too closely.

I've only had LCD-based TVs and monitors for the last few years at my own residence and I get pretty easily-distracted from whatever media I'm trying to watch, while when I'm at someone else's house and they have a CRT-based TV on, I just can't pull myself away, and whenever I'm staying at my parents' house for any length of time I turn into a total TV addict.

I bet that almost-imperceptible 29.97Hz flicker has something to do with it.

Bjam · Post by **Bjam** » Wed Nov 24, 2004 7:38 pm

I like holidays that I don't celebrate, but get me out of school.

Those kick serious ass. Mmm, slackerage for four days straight.

Eric Y. · Post by **Eric Y.** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 3:55 am

Bjam wrote:I like holidays...

yeah, me too.
anyway, it's 5 am, and i'm about ready to head out.
HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY EVERYBODY!!

(by the way for you non-US people, "black" friday is like the americanised version of boxing day. except it's the day after thanksgiving instead of the day after christmas, and it doesn't really involve boxes or giving stuff away or anything like that. it's more of a day where all the stores open really really early in the morning so thousands of crazy people can crowd into them for "early-bird" sales and stuff, and old ladies can kick each other's asses over the last tickle-me elmo on the shelf. a truly american holiday if ever there was one.)

Kamakura · Post by **Kamakura** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 5:13 am

tviyh wrote:the last tickle-me elmo on the shelf

What is a 'tickle me elmo'? Please.

Caravan Ray · Post by **Caravan Ray** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 5:31 am

Kamakura wrote:
tviyh wrote:the last tickle-me elmo on the shelf
What is a 'tickle me elmo'? Please.

Justincombustion posted in the "Punchlines..just the punchlines" thread:

"No," the supervisor at the Tickle-Me-Elmo factory said, "I told you to give them two TEST TICKLES."

That's a cracker! I've pieced together a lead-up for the joke and I've been dining out on it ever since.

FYI Kamakura - it's a Sesame Street-based noise-making cuddly toy

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 8:38 am

That joke already has a <a href="http://www.google.com/search?q=%22two+t ... ectly-good lead-up</a>, which I have embellished on thusly, in my usual timing-killing rambly manner:

One day, an older lady decided she needed a little more disposable income than what her social security was providing her. So, she interviewed for a job at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The supervisor asked her if she'd had any assembly-line experience, and she said that yes, her entire life she had worked in a clothing factory, putting together hoodies for indie rockers. The supervisor decided that her age would probably be an impediment to her manufacturing skills, so instead he put her on the final quality assurance check, a process which would be extremely simple, so he could judge her skills in a non-threatening manner.

Her first day on the job, there was almost immediate chaos; the assembly line was getting slower and slower, or rather, the assembly line was remaining at its normal speed but the packaging end wasn't getting their dolls very quickly. There seemed to be a huge backlog right where the new hire was working. However, nobody said a word about this, and so the supervisor decided to investigate.

What he saw was a huge surprise; the woman wasn't doing her assigned duty, but was instead sewing little red walnut-sized sacks onto the crotch of the dolls, and putting whatever random round things she could find in them; balls of chewing gum, jawbreakers, rubber bouncy balls from a game of jacks, and whatever. Of course, her station was not equipped for such things so she was always heading out to the store with a pile of quarters in hand to buy more round things from the dispensers in front of the grocery store.

The supervisor was both furious and puzzled, until he thought of the exact instructions he'd given her, at which point he burst out laughing, and said, "Lady, I told you to give each doll two <em>test tickles</em>."

Bell Green · Post by **Bell Green** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 9:26 am

Riding fixed gear

Sniping someone on ebay

Cakes from Baker and Spice

Sushi and sashimi

Watching children chasing pidgeons

I'm sure I'll think of some more . . .

Leaf · Post by **Leaf** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 9:59 am

Are those title suggestions or things that kick ass??

Freudian Slip · Post by **Freudian Slip** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 10:49 am

tviyh wrote:
Bjam wrote:I like holidays...
yeah, me too.
anyway, it's 5 am, and i'm about ready to head out.
HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY EVERYBODY!!

(by the way for you non-US people, "black" friday is like the americanised version of boxing day. except it's the day after thanksgiving instead of the day after christmas, and it doesn't really involve boxes or giving stuff away or anything like that. it's more of a day where all the stores open really really early in the morning so thousands of crazy people can crowd into them for "early-bird" sales and stuff, and old ladies can kick each other's asses over the last tickle-me elmo on the shelf. a truly american holiday if ever there was one.)

<giggles> Yeah and I totally second THAT emotion. Dang and I was reading up on the the whack stuff that's supposed to whip the consumerite legion into a buying "frenzy". (Oooh yeah, fur lined flip flops-- Get 'em while they're hot-- What a bargain, dude.

)
Really looking forward to the newest trend that'll have people beating each other up in the parking lots this year. Christmas kicks ass. In more ways than one, these days.

Leaf · Post by **Leaf** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 11:27 am

Christmas "season" does not kick ass, sorry M. Slip.

Ya see, my kids think Christmas is about what shit their gonna get. They don't seem to get that they're supposed to get off on the giving. Or any religious connotations. It pisses me off that there is this tremendous sociatial (ikes sp) pressure from the media and FAMILY to celebrate an event that these people don't even believe in. I make a point of explaining my intrepretation of the Christmas story, from the whole baby Jesus part to the pagan holidays and tree rituals to the Americanized commercial aspect. Guess which part they like the most? I'll give you a hint... it ends in catelogue.

Oh yeah... and why is it if you give your 12 year old $60 to buy his sister a gift she get's a $3 stuffed toy key chain while he's sporting a new gameboy cartridge. This year... I want the change!!!!

Christmas DAY, opening the gifts, family time and the dinner kick asss. It should be called Family Gift and Eating Day for all the secular families.

....and I want a second soundcard with at least 8 ins so I can do 16 track live recordings.... paging HipCola....

Bell Green · Post by **Bell Green** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 11:51 am

Leaf wrote:Are those title suggestions or things that kick ass??

They kick ass! But they could be titles couldn't they. Like sushi and sashimi, bit like eggplant by michael franks.

erik · Post by **erik** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 12:29 pm

David Byrne's rendition of the Whitney Houston classic "Wanna Dance With Somebody"

http://www.stereogum.com/david.mp3

Freudian Slip · Post by **Freudian Slip** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 3:02 pm

Leaf wrote:Christmas "season" does not kick ass, sorry M. Slip.

It pisses me off that there is this tremendous sociatial (ikes sp) pressure from the media and FAMILY to celebrate an event that these people don't even believe in. I make a point of explaining my intrepretation of the Christmas story, from the whole baby Jesus part to the pagan holidays and tree rituals to the Americanized commercial aspect.

Yeah-- it pisses me off, too.

I don't think you "read" my post, Leaf. Maybe I should have put a "

" visual cue after the phrase "really looking forward to". The popularisation of Christmas gift giving as a "one upsmanship style power shopping event" was started sometime around 1874 by a retail merchant who was trying to find a gimmick to turn around his marketing slump.

I literally MEANT people were "kicking each others asses" in parking lots.
Along with all the other arguements and whatnot that revolve around the "true meaning" of the holiday itself. (Last year there was a woman trampled at Walmart in pursuit of a DVD player offered in first come, first served limited quantities. Not to mention the numerous reports of people being punched, kicked and bludgeoned for Tickle Me Elmos and Holiday Barbies.)

Although I left the post I quoted "intact" the phrase I was agreeing with was THIS one:
"it's more of a day where all the stores open really really early in the morning so thousands of crazy people can crowd into them for "early-bird" sales and stuff, and old ladies can kick each other's asses over the last tickle-me elmo on the shelf. a truly american holiday if ever there was one.)

I don't "buy into" the commercial concept of Christmas. Among other articles relating to the "commercialization of an ideal":
Santa Discovers America
Paragraph 6 "According to Daniel Boorstin"

Leaf · Post by **Leaf** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 3:21 pm

gotcha...misunderstood...same wavelength.... soon leaving work evironment for home studio.... must buy...tickle..me elmo....must buy....cabbage patch doll...must.....must.....

c hack · Post by **c hack** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 4:16 pm

I love the Christmas season -- wrought with consumerism or not. You humbugs should watch Elf or something

Also, woohoo to me, who scored a Simpsons season 4 DVD for $18, and a bunch more stuff I didn't need.

Woohoo!

Kapitano · Post by **Kapitano** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 5:34 pm

Leaf wrote:Christmas "season" does not kick ass

The U.S - a supposedly secular country populated mainly by christians.
Tne U.K - a supposedly christian country populated mainly by atheists.

Two countries united by a common hatred of christmas.

thehipcola · Post by **thehipcola** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 7:11 pm

Christmas TOTALLY kicks ass. Family, friends, great food and drink, downtime, warm inside, cold outside, caroling, decorated tree, stupid-ass mythology of Santa....

I am almost a father, so I'm sure my view will be tested as my child(ren) suck up all the media/marketing hype of toys and such, but for now, it's all about family and friends and the warmth that comes with both. The concept of giving is fantastic. We shouldn't need a holiday to Hxaro something, but it's sure nice to be "forced" to slow down enough to do it once a year.

So, if Christmas doesn't kick ass for some, surely TURKEY (or whatever you have) dinner with all the trimmings does...? Embellished with a nice bottle of homemade, magnet-aged wine?

Freudian Slip · Post by **Freudian Slip** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 8:35 pm

TheHipCola wrote: ...it's all about family and friends and the warmth that comes with both. The concept of giving is fantastic. We shouldn't need a holiday to Hxaro...

THOSE are the things which should be the focus of the "holidays" and (call me an idealist--or whatever else), life in general. Getting involved with the community, donating 'excess' to charity, extending a helping hand, lending an ear or a shoulder, in any way you can when someone needs it. Concepts which are, to me, diametrically opposed to "maxxing out" credit cards in pursuit of the "perfect" gift and/or bludgeoning people in parking lots, etc. Anyway... enough of that topic...

(One of my "all time favorite" movies) "The Princess Bride" totally kicks ass!

Phil. Redmon. · Post by **Phil. Redmon.** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 8:58 pm

TheHipCola wrote: magnet-aged wine?

Whuzzat?

Caravan Ray · Post by **Caravan Ray** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 9:06 pm

Phil. Redmon. wrote:
TheHipCola wrote: magnet-aged wine?
Whuzzat?

http://songfight.net/forums/viewtopic.p ... 8&start=21

please don't start this again....

Kapitano · Post by **Kapitano** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 9:49 pm

Caravan Ray wrote:
Phil. Redmon. wrote:
TheHipCola wrote: magnet-aged wine?
Whuzzat?
http://songfight.net/forums/viewtopic.p ... 8&start=21
please don't start this again....

Yes, let's not. Instead...

http://www.alexchiu.com/
http://www.rickb.com/alexchiu/

My first encounter with Psychoceramics.

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Fri Nov 26, 2004 9:53 pm

Are you <a href="http://www.timecube.com/">educated stupid</a>?