Like a pair of sunbathing mambas (Green Eleven reviews)

[Ross]

Caravan Ray - bongos by apple - would love the bass more up front - nice groove - “traffic lights of love inside your eyes” great line!!!!

Thank you - but I will not take full credit for that.

Adapted from:
Man O Sand To Girl O Sea - The Go-Betweens
...the traffic lights on the street of love have just turned red..... Is that plagerism? I like to think more a respectful tribute.

I agree with you, not plagiarism but an excellent borrowing/reference.

[ujnhunter]

who really wrotet these lyrics? I assume it is you.

lyrics belong to the Chthock... yes. thanks for the reviews.

[irwin]

Stream-of-consciousness reviews:

Abominominous - Great instrumentation! Man I love this. I wouldn't change anything, including the feedback ending. Hell, especially the feedback ending.

LML - whole mix is a little dull, lacking in high end. Except for the shaker, which comes in sounding very out of place. I really like the vocal sound. One small nit: if it's 11:11, shouldn't that be "green elevens"? I really like the "ba ba ba" backing vocals.

Andrew Reist - Distortion on the guitars is a little harsh, and they're too loud in the mix, at least when the verse is going on. They're also covering up the drums a bit. Drum dynamics a little uneven (suddenly loud in the guitar solo, then quiet again). I like the panned doubled vocals, they could be a little tighter. There's a few instances where the channels fall out of sync and that's a little distracting. I caught myself humming your chorus this morning, so I guess that's something. Solo doesn't really pop out of the mix, maybe try a different effect to make it stand out from the other guitars.

Ye Great Chinese God! - Timing issues with the drums. Some interesting ideas here, if a bit formulaic. The huge fake snare is bothering me. It's hard to make out much of the vocals, so I can't really comment on the lyrics.

Andy Sucks - A nice enough blues noodle. Vocals could be a little more up-front. A little aimless.

Deetak - Some nice wordplay here. I particularly like "The weigh-in lines/We wait in lines". Nice imagery. One of my favorite takes on the title, I think. Vocal delivery is a little over-the-top in places, but I suppose that's in character.

Caravan Ray - The bongos are a little wide, at least on headphones. Also the drum loop gets a bit repetitive. Same goes for the bass groove, though a nice groove it is. I like the story. "the traffic lights of love inside your eyes" veers a little far toward the cheesy for my taste, but I really like the line "You were saying 'never', but I was thinking 'when'".

Chopped Liver Meat God - I keep waiting for Toto to start. Hmm, mashing up Beat It and Africa is kind of an interesting idea. Not interesting enough of an idea to sustain for 6 and a half minutes, mind you. The falsetto vocals hurt a little. I like the out of synch vocal part. The image of the neon green 11 is a nice one, but loses its effectiveness when repeated so many times. I really like the guitar solo homage to Jennifer Batten. Yeah this could have been shorter.

FABULOUS PRUNES - A NICE COLLECTION OF NOISES. NOT SURE WHAT THE RELEVANCE TO THE TITLE IS. IF THIS WERE WEIRDNOISESFIGHT.ORG, I WOULD TOTALLY VOTE FOR THIS.

Fartin' in the club - Groovy. What does it have to do with the title? At first I thought the voice said "Fahrvergnuegen", so I thought it was German techno. I liked it better before I realized what you were really saying.

Gnome Alone - What?

the Hinsdale Patent - I like the sound. Is this going anywhere? I particularly like the bass. A lot of this feels like filler just to get a 3 minute song. Don't be afraid to make a 90 second song if that's what it takes to tell the story! The intro almost lost me, but once things get going it's a nice groove.

Howl Down the Chimney with Todd McHatton - Some nice imagery here. I particularly like the line "steal the minute hand. Who dyed all the pigeons blue?" I'm with you until the sitar outro. At that point, with the percussion and sitar, it begins to sound like a parody. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I liked it better when I was taking it seriously.

IndiAdamJones - Gross. Could bring the percussion up in the mix a bit, would help drive the song forward. In particular, the kick drum could use a lot more thump. I realize this was probably your intent, but this is too disgusting to listen to again. Minus points for songfight self-reference.

Jake Lions Band - Some nice synthy noises here. I'd lose the "bum bum bum" vocal bits, or at least lower them in the mix. Is this really seven minutes long? I like the switch to double time. The vocals could cut through the mix better. Which is not to say that they should be louder. Try backing off the reverb and applying some EQ to the vocals (I'd try a cut in the lows and a slight boost in the mid-highs) The timing on the drums seems a little uneven. Were they triggered live? Yeah, this is way too long. And then it just suddenly ends.

Jan Krueger - I like the guitar sound. I like the shift from the third person to the first in the last verse, really helps solidify the story. The mixed metaphor is bothering me a little (walking/flying/riding a bike/dancing).

John Kloberdanz - No need for loud envy, sir; lack of loudness is not among your problems. Sounding like "Horse With No Name", on the other hand... Everything sounds a little distant, too much reverb. But then again, it gives the song the feel of a man screaming in a warehouse, and I kind of like that vibe.

Chthonic Chthock - This is fantastic. I wouldn't change a thing. I love the slowdown bit. I love the line "no one deserves to die in outer space. Woo!" Perfect delivery. Seriously, if there is ever a Chthonic Chthock album, you have at least one sale.

Cobalt Stomach - Not bad by itself, but it cannot compare to the original. Nice ominous synth texture, but I prefer the contradiction of the bouncy synthiness of the original.

Elaine DiMasi - I like the occasional avoidance of rhyme. Not bad for G&G. I like the idea behind the dual meaning of "prime" but something about the line bothers me. I'd love to hear this fleshed out more. I think an accordion track would sound great.

Paco del Stinko - I like the frantic bassline. Creepy solo, I like it.

The Weakest Suit - The phase effect is a little much. The chorus is catchy.

Lucky Spoon - Man, that is a great bassline. Drums could be a little more dynamic, by which I mean it feels like every hit is the same. This is a nice groove. The phone call break is a nice idea, perhaps a little overplayed. The steel drum patch seems like it doesn't quite fit the song.

Ross Durand - An interesting juxtaposition- a retro-future folk song. The phrase "ne'r a Watt" made me smile. That is some quality pickin', sir.

Night Elf Mohawk - Creepy. If this were CreepyPoetryFight.org, I might vote for this. Some really cool sonic textures going on.

Melvin - Guitars sound great as always. Lyrics strike the right balance between saying too little and saying too much. Drums seem a little loose in places.

The Sky Looks Pissed - This is not bad. Vocals could use a little more snarl. I don't fully buy that you feel what you're singing. The glockenspiel bit is mixed too loud. Lyrics could benefit from some refinement, but the base concept is good. Flesh out the basement/carpet imagery more, for example.

Todd McHatton - Great harmonies as always. The lead guitar is playing some great stuff, I like it a lot, but it feels a little disconnected from the mix. I'm afraid I have to ding you a few points for (over)using the "eleven/heaven" rhyme. Sorry.

SomeGuyCalledNoel - Some nice picking. A little muddy. The guitar could use some more high end, and maybe roll off a little of the lower mids on the vocal. How do you record the guitar? (Mic/placement/etc?)

MC Milk Plus - I'm not normally into snotcore, but this is fun!

Pathetic Wannabees - Lead guitar could be louder in the intro. Rhythm guitar could use less flange. An interesting idea for the title. I'd like to hear the idea expanded: an alternative universe in which roulette has a green 11, billiards has a green 11 ball, and Spock has a goatee.

Larry Knox - Mix sounds good. I really like the organ sounds. The drums sound a little mechanical, not quite creating a nice groove for the song. Lyrics are a little over the top.


Whew! Great stuff all!

[jseavers05]

its songfight! holy cow.

[Ross]

its songfight! holy cow.

It's Jordan Seavers! holy cow! - where have you been? Will we get to hear you here again soon?

[JonPorobil]

Alright, I've finally started listening to this fight. No full reviews yet, but this one couldn't wait.

Night Elf Mohawk - Wait, we've been arguing over this song? This is actually really cool! It's like Slint meets George Saunders. The lyrics are delightfully trippy, the drums in the background are really cool, and the vocals effects work really well. It could use a little more variation, especially given its length, but I've never heard anything like this on Songfight before, so good job with that. Might even get a vote.

[Billy's Little Trip]

Alright, I've finally started listening to this fight. No full reviews yet, but this one couldn't wait.

Night Elf Mohawk - Wait, we've been arguing over this song? This is actually really cool! It's like Slint meets George Saunders. The lyrics are delightfully trippy, the drums in the background are really cool, and the vocals effects work really well. It could use a little more variation, especially given its length, but I've never heard anything like this on Songfight before, so good job with that. Might even get a vote.

Did someone say they didn't like it? I thought it was a great listen and I have it in my Ipod rotation. Yeah, it's spoken word, but that's what it is.
...by the way, is this the same guy that did the other pieces like this? The one with the tractor? If so, I also have that one on a mixed CD.

[jast]

Jan Krueger - [...] The mixed metaphor is bothering me a little (walking/flying/riding a bike/dancing).

For what it's worth, walking stands against the others because it's part of a different reality. I imagined Green Eleven a bit like Spaceman Spiff, only a lot more playful. He's the superhero of having fun or something like that.

[someguycallednoel]

SomeGuyCalledNoel - Some nice picking. A little muddy. The guitar could use some more high end, and maybe roll off a little of the lower mids on the vocal. How do you record the guitar? (Mic/placement/etc?)

I was really pushed for time so this was just the one live take, but in general even when overdubbing it does always seem to end up sounding heavy/muddy. Any ideas on how to rectify this?..i prob should read the 'how to' forum..

[LML]

Well I looked over all my reviews and this is what I've gathered. I need to work on my songwriting, never use shakers again, take the title literally, and keep singing good. Yeah... I'll take that. Better than OMG IT SUX BALLZ!

[irwin]

Well I looked over all my reviews and this is what I've gathered. I need to work on my songwriting, never use shakers again, take the title literally, and keep singing good. Yeah... I'll take that. Better than OMG IT SUX BALLZ!

If I may clarify my review a little:

My comment was not about the use of the shaker, as much as how disjointed it felt in the mix.

Also, please continue to let the title take you wherever it may lead. One of my favorite things about Songfight! is hearing the interesting places everyone goes with the title. Nobody wants to hear 27 identical songs!

[bambamoozle]

Well I looked over all my reviews and this is what I've gathered. I need to work on my songwriting, never use shakers again, take the title literally, and keep singing good. Yeah... I'll take that. Better than OMG IT SUX BALLZ!

I think the point of the reviews is just getting feedback, which is hard to get in the world. Look at it this way; last week, on the same day, you basically said my song was your favorite, Jan gave me a score of 13/15 with a maximum 3 points for "composition", and Reist said my song was amateurish. Yesterday Ross gave me a Good + and said it was "thoroughly enjoyable" and I'm still buzzing over that!

Which one is true? They all are, they are all that listener's perspective on the same music. It's why there are so many choices of music. The important thing to me is to take the useful feedback out and try to do something with it.

[Reist]

My comment was not about the use of the shaker, as much as how disjointed it felt in the mix.

Ditto.

[LML]

Oh it's not a big deal. I was only kidding really. I appreciate the reviews just like any musician would.

[Caravan Ray]

Wow - there are so many of these...I though I could do them all...but not tonight.

These are in my order of preference - other will be added in if I get the chance




Chthonic Chthonic - You got my vote in the first 3 seconds. Then you carry us to Devo-Land. That's a vote from me.

HDTC with TMcH - This is very cool. It's almost very, very cool. The story doesn't grab me much, and there is no great hook that grabs me - but it has still got a lot going for it. I give you a 10 for style, but maybe only 7 for substance. Love the backing vocals. And the sitar.

LML - Great voice. Rhyming "wish" with "petri dish" is awesome. Song is pretty good too. Great work

Elaine DiMasi - Great work. Very engaging performance. Great chorus, great story. Perhaps just needs editing down slightly, reduce some repetition and strip the story to the bare-bones. Careful editing could make this a great song.

Paco del Stinko - This is cool. Great guitar which just carries this along. Very cool guitar break....WTF is that!!!!

Abominiminous - Sounds a bit Donovan and Mellow-Yellowy. Is this a hangover from your Sunshine Superman GOM? Like the feedback - little like Donovan meets the Velvet Underground. Good.
------------------------------------------------------------VOTE LINE
Hinsdale Patent - Very good, very competent. I like it

John Kloberdanz - Ah - there's the "Horse With No Name"! Don't you hate when that happens! I love the sound of this - the guitar and vox. Loud chorus bits are great. Sparse, but good performance makes it interesting. I'm not sold on the title use - because I knew you were writing to a title, it sounds contrived to me. Maybe if I heard this cold I wouldn't think so...

Death Be Not Proud - Sounds like this could be good - but recording is hard to listen to. Sound like very good vocals - but hard to hear. This is good - despite truly appalling recording

Reist - I like this a lot. Very catchy pop song. Recording-wise - a bit uninteresting. Guitar drowning stuff out a bit - needs more light and shade

Ross Durand - Great guitar sound. How do you do that? Nice effort - but the story didn't really work for me. It was sort of all build up, and I wanted to know what the Green 11 did - but they just blew themselves up in the last verse - which left them sounding a bit stupid. Didn't even one of them think of going and sabotaging the Bowen Basin coal mines in central Queensland?

Todd McHatton - All very nice and beatlesque, just not my cup of tea

Larry Knox - Competent song, but the title use sounds a bit contrived. Also sounds like it takes itself a bit too seriously. There is nothing more annoying than an earnest greenie (trust me - I have been a professional earnest greenie for 20 years)

AndySux - Nice guitar lick. That's about it really

Night Elf Mohawk - I'm picturing a whispy adolescent beard, turtleneck sweater and bongos....shudder

Cobalt Stomach - Vocals not good. I think if you are going to nick someone's lyrics - you really need to reasonably sure that what you do will be completely different and not directly comparable to the original - otherwise it's a bit silly

Pathetic Wannabees - No

Chopped Liver Meat God - No

Farting in the Club - A point for using the word "fart"

[JonPorobil]

Am I the only one who noticed this?

From Ross' song.
"Well three went to Dubai And three more went to Arabi
Two went to Venezuela; two, the Middle East
And one was brave in Texas, last two in Californ'
And once they pushed their switches, their legend then was born"

3+3+2+2+1+2 = 13.

Aren't you a teacher?

[Ross]

Am I the only one who noticed this?

From Ross' song.
"Well three went to Dubai And three more went to Arabi
Two went to Venezuela; two, the Middle East
And one was brave in Texas, last two in Californ'
And once they pushed their switches, their legend then was born"

3+3+2+2+1+2 = 13.

Aren't you a teacher?

But in legend, they are known as the green eleven - legends often ignore the details.

[LML]

I'm still surprised nobody corrected me on the proper way to say petri dish by now.

[Reist]

I'm still surprised nobody corrected me on the proper way to say petri dish by now.

Like how you didn't say "peeetreee"? I just figured you had an accent or something.

[Billy's Little Trip]

I'm still surprised nobody corrected me on the proper way to say petri dish by now.

Like how you didn't say "peeetreee"? I just figured you had an accent or something.

Oh, I thought you were talking abooot your pet tree. I did scratch my head wondering why you felt like a germ in your pets water bowl.
........I had a pet rock once. But it died and went to live with Jeebus.

[MisterQuoons]

Night elf Mohawk - I don’t believe you think this/know is crap - I don’t think so either - I also don’t think it’s a song. thanks for playing

Now that's dismissive criticism I can handle.

Night Elf Mohawk - Wait, we've been arguing over this song? This is actually really cool! It's like Slint meets George Saunders. The lyrics are delightfully trippy, the drums in the background are really cool, and the vocals effects work really well. It could use a little more variation, especially given its length, but I've never heard anything like this on Songfight before, so good job with that. Might even get a vote.

Wow, thanks. And after I said that all people from Texas have bad teeth and suffer from the gum disease known as GINGIVITIS. Anyway, now I feel a little bad that I cussed you out a couple weeks ago and made fun of you on Twitter.

...by the way, is this the same guy that did the other pieces like this? The one with the tractor? If so, I also have that one on a mixed CD.

...I'm not sure which one you mean. I don't remember doing a song about a tractor, but I do all sorts of things I don't remember when I've had a few so...maybe? Anyway, NEM is me and Tungsten Chic.

[LML]

Oh well it's partially my accent. Texans say things wrong all the time. But I intentionally said it wrong. Weird, but I wanted to see if anyone noticed. lol my accent.