The Song Fight Bulletin Board

So it looks like my favorites for this round are all in a cluster: my own (obviously I'm still too close to it), Manhattan Glutton's, and Merisan's. Right behind them, I'd put Ross, and behind him, Frankie, then Sausage, then Adam, then pretty much everyone else in whatever order you feel like, then Snappy & Floyd bringing up the rear. In addition to MG being my favorite of the round, he's also my pick to take next round's immunity. [EDIT: Whoops. Congratulations, BGM.]

Random comments:
Adam Adamant, this was possibly my favorite song by you that I've heard yet. Keep up the good work, and take note of how you got that uke sound this time around - it sounded right at home in the mix this time around.
ADD, your song didn't load past the first fifteen seconds. I'll try to have more detailed comments when I get home and get a chance to listen to the whole thing.
BGM, I think I'd like your song a lot better if it didn't sound quite so much like your "Architect."
Boffo Yux Dudes, you got one mild chuckle out of me this round. I'd have a much more positive view of your song if it had been shorter. Get out quick after you've stuck the laugh. Better still, your song wasn't nearly as cacophonous as usual, which didn't make it feel like homework to listen to.
Gooey Caramel Centaur, your song didn't load at all on my computer. I'll try again tonight.
Manhattan Glutton, I notice that you didn't double-track anything this time around. Welcome to the light side, my friend. It was the right mixing decision, and yours is not just my favorite song of this round, but my favorite of Nur Ein 7 so far.
Oystercatcher, I'm not sure you can appease Paco del Stinko by turning in a song that sounds like him, but nice try anyway. [EDIT: Apparently, I don't know what I'm talking about. ]
Geneveive Johnson, this wasn't your best work, but it certainly wasn't bad. It'd be a shame if the bad timing knocked you out. You still haven't explained your new moniker to us, yet.
WSA, your song's pretty good, but a little noodlier than usual, and the mismatching guitar tones bothered me a little more than usual. That might be a "me" problem and not a "you" problem.

And of course... A major THANK YOU to The Idiot King for dropping out, which allowed me to persevere. My musical life just flashed before my eyes!

Thanks Jon!

Yep, pretty much shaping up to be the same as last year.

glennny wrote:15- GCC- Okay what kills this song is the capo 1 D chord at 3:26. (natural D#/Eb). During that chord you sing C (C# natural) which is the dominant 7 of what you’ve established as the 4 chord (after the key change). Which should clearly be a major 7.

It's a bit flat, I admit, but it's certainly a D concert.

God bless all of you who have the time to write reviews. Damn...I was hoping to get immunity so I could kick back for Mother's Day.

Alright, this means war.

i dont know how to delete posts.

I'm also a little sad that no one noticed the blatant nod to Slayer...raining pee!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KsPZ1f7MDs

BenKrieger wrote:God bless all of you who have the time to write reviews. Damn...I was hoping to get immunity so I could kick back for Mother's Day.

I really enjoyed your lyrics (spoiler alert!) and I am in the process of reviews right now (halfway through! Really and truly! this means I shall finish them! I am DEAD SERIOUS!)

I'm really thankful I'm still in.

Congrats bgm!

I have written reviews for about half, not sure if I'll finish. Lots of good songs. Looking forward to round three!

Nice of the judges to rank me even though they didn't have to, and thanks to all who reviewed me.

I always think it's interesting when there is a round winner who doesn't rank first on any of the judges' rankings - that is not intended as a slight, BGM.

I guess the good news for us all in round three is we don't have to compete with BGM

Nur Ein!!!

For me, successful takes on the challenge this round often embodied the idea of less is more. Part of an enjoyable, engaging song for me is a delicate balance between flow and dynamics. Some submissions over-used the challenge, or worse, used superfluous starts and stops.

Oysterctacher
+++ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! +++
+++ RAWK! +++
--- ending chaos is too much ---
+++ stops in the chorus +++

Genevieve Johnson and The Chiefs
+++ tonal contrast: brilliant +++
/// this could benefit from some assiduous editing: shorten the intro and outro and cut the chorus in half ///
/// bridge clearly addresses the challenge, but that was done better in the second verse ///

Worldly-Self Assurance
--- more song, less jam-band wankery ---
+++ chorus +++
/// why mention the Sidewalk Café? it's a wasted line for anyone who doesn't know the place ///

bgm
+++ melody +++
+++ stops and dynamics +++
--- some stops are too long ---
--- percussion is too hot, especially those fills, which are painfully so ---

Manhattan Glutton
+++ Cake plus Monkees? Win +++
+++ stops add to dynamics +++
+++ chorus +++
--- the first "turn the volume down" is kind of witty, but it's a one-trick pony ---

Frankie Big Face
+++ intro +++
/// the bare overdriven vox are grating; i think it's as much a matter of volume as tone ///
+++ lyrics +++
/// the stop-start verse grew on me; pays off well in the final verse +++

Jon Eric
--- percussion is too messy, especially for Part 1 which is essentially a rap/dance song ---
--- pushing your voice too far in the chorus ---
--- transitions are like a bad mash-up ---
+++ ambitious failure +++

The Boffo Yux Dudes
/// write something other than adolescent sexual innuendos ///
--- the call and response verses are a waste; why not trade lines and focus on the cool groove you're making? ---
/// neat idea for the stops; wish it were more James Brown ///

Gooey Carmel Centaur
+++ unconventional rhymes +++
+++ structure +++
+++ dynamics +++
/// i want the chorus to have a more uptempo, fuller melody ///
--- under-developed; a composition this complex needs instrumentation to match ---

Ross Durand
+++ menace; reminds me of the theme song for True Blood +++
/// don't know about that trumpet... ///
--- the stops are just... stops; maybe they're just too long ---
+++ second chorus! +++
--- ending: what a let down ---

Chris Cogott
/// missed opportunity: i want more of a change-up after that stop ///
+++ concept +++
+++ harmonies +++

DJ Ranger Den
/// this is quirky and different and has some wonderful instrumentation; i want to like it more than i do ///
+++ set-up and concept +++
--- no character development ---
--- some awkward melodies ---
+++ sequel? certainly a sister +++

Sausage
+++ lofi RAWK! +++
--- missed opportunity: put the stop before the last line of chorus; rock out from there ---

Merisan
+++ sultry +++
+++ stops add to dynamics and interest +++
+++ channels Begin the Beguine in every good way +++

Adam Adamant
--- superfluous stops and starts ---
/// this needs a pad: some constant, soft synth or something to hold it together ///
+++ outro +++

WreckdoM
+++ motor samples +++
+++ rockin' groove +++
+++ original concept +++
--- samples during the starts and stops between verses ---

ADD
+++ opening groove +++
/// needs more low-end, or just fill out the mids; those guitar tones are too shiny ///
+++ channeling some Gotye? +++
+++ opening image +++
+++ first stop in second verse +++
/// the stop after that... meh ///
--- this drags on too long; i'd like 3 minutes or so of this 5-minute tune ---

Snappy + Floyd
+++ set-up +++
--- rapping 5 feet from the mic ---
+++ first stop is pretty funny, but why make fun of the polyamorous? ///
--- pedantry-ness? ---
/// it's been said before but it holds true: one of you can rap like a mutha; the other cannot ///

The Chocolate Chips
+++ attention-getting start +++
--- superfluous stop ---
/// singing through a marshmallow ///

I don't think I will be able to listen to any of these for a while - I am working off a mobile phone dongle thingy which goes at dial-up speed. My song was supposed to have bass and percussion added, and lots more vocals (to get that Mentos commercial feel) - but it never happened.

My computer came back to life this morning! It has decided to power on only when it feels like it. I am all for empowerment and that - but I would like to have some say in the process. I hope it lets me do a song this week.

nyjm wrote: bgm
--- some stops are too long ---
--- percussion is too hot, especially those fills, which are painfully so ---

I debated about that first stop.
Heh. The fills are my absolute favourite part.

nyjm wrote: Frankie Big Face
/// the bare overdriven vox are grating; i think it's as much a matter of volume as tone ///

Let me guess. Headphones, right? Everything is grating in headphones.

I also didn't notice BGM's fills being particularly "hot." Get some monitors, dude.

I'm happy to have placed first with two judges. I will take my 40% immunity now, thank you.

Wow. Great music this round. I'm disappointed we're not moving on to the next round, but pleased with the feedback from people. I finally got to listen to most of the songs in the car on a decent set of speakers, so I'll try and get some reviews up soon.

Congrats to all. Strong showing. MG especially hit it out of the park this time.

I won't do reviews this week.

The songs that stood out for me were Frankie, MG and OC (although the second half was a tad over-under-written).

I'm very glad to see Jon Eric still in the competition, because this week's song had a bunch of great ideas but ambition certainly got the best of him. I particularly love the rap at the start, and the middle section (though the vocals are pretty bad -- the timing is faaaaar too lax and it sounds like they either clipped when recording or were mugged at the airport on the way to Jon's place).

Congrats to The Chocolate Chips for writing a song I kind of like.

WAIL. IAAC.

Why so many long songs? Did people feel they had breathing room since there were less people still in the game?

Adam Adamant – This is almost exactly twice as it needs to be. That said, it’s a catchy enough little fellah. All the different little synth bits are great and enliven the song but they take far too long to arrive. Fr’instance I was going oh I’d like some BVs in the chorus – why wait for c. 4 mins to do them? Contract to survive.

AAD – I really like the image of that opening couplet and the reggae-ish mood. The arrangement is cool all the way through. A minute and a half too long, probably, but I like it. Of course singing “you can’t stay awake” at any point after the four minute mark is kind of asking of trouble

BGM – ¾ is always creepy. More reggae? I am not complaining but so far the title seems to have encouraged long songs and people channelling their inner Sting with more or less success. This is very pretty without being an earworm, at least not after two listens. Last line is lovely in execution.

Boffo Yux Dudes – not a bad little track, but the thinking behind the words I find a little lazy. Of course humour is subjective but it seems a waste of a reasonable groove to throw away on “comedy” voices – it’s not like what you’re saying is funny per se. Oh and the track starts getting a little old around the “two time moment”.

Chocolate Chips – Now generally I am one for stripping down arrangements – so take what I am going to say with a pitcher of salt – I am not sure it’s not the drums/percussion that are spoiling this for me – they introduce a rigidness to this which goes against the pretty melody and strummin’. The solo comes at the right time, but maybe a little electric piano would sound better?

Chris Coggett – this is very well done. A little flat perhaps (in terms of the performance, not out of tune) – doesn’t grab me by the ballookas and swing me round. Which was and probably never be your intention. A quick, serious question – what does “Islands take a long long time to finally reveal what they hold and what they truly are” mean, exactly? It’s a slightly jarring phrase, when sung out loud. Do they really? And what do they reveal – that they are islands, and they hold grass and people, and hills and stuff? Cos a quick ride with a helicopter over any given island on day 1 would reveal all that. I digress, naturalich, which means I am not moved by your song one way or the other.

DJ Ranger Den – though the stops/starts aren’t as pronounced as in some of the other songs, and I actually think more stabbing punctuations, lasting for longer, might improve the overall dynamic, I like this very much. More vague Weil, please.

FBF – fucking hippy I do like the radio song very much, and said as much to my co-judges, however I don’t like the sigh that follows it for some reason. Anyway, my ears have problems assimilating different time signatures so the verses are throwing me a little – but they sound great. The Bowie fronting Yes chorus is surprisingly pleasing on the ears. And unlike most prog, it doesn’t outstay its welcome by four and a half hours. I know where I’m putting this in my rankings.

GJ – *so* quiet! A surprisingly mellow take – “downtown” springs into mind for some reason more to do with me than the song. Little sprinkles of “Needles and Pins” as well. This would be a lovely 60s pop song if it had the decency to stop a minute earlier. Bring those interweaving harmonies in earlier. That was the loveliest part for me.

Gooey - This is not bad.The vocals are fine, until the key change, when they go more than a bit wobbly. I misheard “angels” as “Asians” and I thought uh-oh, here we go! The lyric doesn’t hit my ‘engage’ button, though I do like the last line. Not bad. Oh I said that already. I guess I must mean it.

Jon Eric – oh, this is all over the place! The vocals are sitting pretty loud / exposed in the mix and it makes them sound more OTT than they are, oddly. I don’t like the tripling in the main chorus, though the “Worst .. someone like me” line is great. Like the synths going on. What it is that sound at 4.11 that sounds like your neighbour knocking on the wall to tell you to turn it down? The a capella breakdown at the end doesn’t feel like it wants to be part of the rest of the song. The scope / ambition is impressive, the realisation less so. I really thought / hoped it was over at 5.11 This may have been said already but the various sections aren’t linking together well enough (of course due in part to the stop/start challenge) – and that shows up at the end when they all collide like a mass pile up on the motorway involving four tour-buses coming from different directions.

MG – The nerd-y talky / rappy bit is a little awkwardly phrased at times – the xylophone keys under the second verse are a nice touch. Nah, I don’t like that chorus, though “not free / cable TV” lines are quite cool. The fade-out on “volume” is not an idea that works all that well for me. When you don’t do it later on the cohesion of the chorus melody holds together better. The mix is good. Um ...

Merisan – oh, lovely. I think I prefer the verses, melodically, to the choruses. I just think they’re more striking. That said, the choruses do have those lovely harmonies. Maybe the accordion should go more jazz hands under all the choruses - the last one is just getting towards where I want it to start, in terms of flutter and tweet. Overall the accordion is subdued in the mix, which is a reasonable artistic choice, but I think you could get away with a cheesier, more upfront approach to accentuate the natural pleasantness of the tune itself.

Oystercatcher – awesome tune. Throwaway lyrics that i don’t need to hear again and vocal performance akin to Jack Black doing Iron Maiden. But it really is an awesome tune. It needs to finish sharp at 2.12. You have impressed me by making a 2 minute 40 song seem too long, but I guess when you only have 1 and a half minutes of (albeit amazing) music ...

Ross – I like hearing you on piano. Is that Steve tootin’ in the background or your good self? I want to like the descending motif chorus more than I actually do. I am not hearing clearly enough where the melody and the chords link together - although when the electric kicks in it improves immeasurably. Overall, not a bad song.

Sausage – who made you, obviously. The guitar could have a fatter sound, not louder just fuller. Bass as well, actually. Or possibly the vocals are just a tad loud in the mix. The “band” seems to be playing at the very back of my speakers’ auditorium while the vocalist is leaning into camera. Cute solo.

Snappy & Floyd – this is great until roughly 4 mins, where it kind of loses its way. Should have ended then. There’s some good phrases in here though I am not following the flow clearly. Once again there’s lots of interesting stuff going on in the backing track but minus points for not knowing when too much of a good thing kicks in (at 4 minutes then definitely at the door opening section, which is overlong, uninteresting and undoes a lot of the good work before then.)

Wreckdom – cute opening leads to slight disappointment at the bluesy swing of the verse. Still sounding like Sausage Boy (TM). I like the elastic band twang break downs. Chorus is OK, sounds better than it probably is in contrast to the standard rocky blues verse. “The lord don’t know and the devil may care” is a good line. Good lord, I know I keep going on about this for no benefit to anyone, but that is sausage boy phrasing. It just is. Hmmmm, that was OK, far from my favourite Wreckdom though.

WSA – I’m not sure your intro works as an intro, it’s more like a stripped down solo. Though some nice BVs in there. That’s a great guitar chord progression. The rest of it is like Sabbath beats off the Incredible String Band while a glee watches excitedly. Which may be your thing (as you made it) but ain’t for me. That chord chug is saving the song. One third of this song I like. I hate to say it but I find this indulgent except whenever you’re working around that chug (like it’s awesome when it clicks together coming into 4 mins) – but as well played as they are the duelling guitars is a no for me. Too much of that. Soz.

j$ wrote:awesome tune.

Thanks!

j$ wrote:Throwaway lyrics that i don’t need to hear again and vocal performance akin to Jack Black doing Iron Maiden.

Bah. Every line in the song actually happens/ed more than once. My life is not a throwaway! Because no one has mentioned it, I should say that this song is inspired by a Black Flag/Dead Kennedys binge, though I'm also a huge metal fan.

j$ wrote:You have impressed me by making a 2 minute 40 song seem too long, but I guess when you only have 1 and a half minutes of (albeit amazing) music ...

It was a long pee. My only regret is that I couldn't pee long enough so that it wasn't AS long as the music, which would have been even better.You'll notice that the droning feedback at the end is the same length as the pee and ends with the flush. I had to drink a lot of coffee and water to record that. I flush your criticism as well!

Just to prove I'm nothing if not contrary and hypocritical -a splash through the archives - http://www.songfight.org/music/shower_s ... shower.mp3 Not Nur-Ein but Ur-Ein.

j$ wrote: FBF – fucking hippy

My favorite comment so far. And the most useful!

WSA – I’m not sure your intro works as an intro, it’s more like a stripped down solo. Though some nice BVs in there. That’s a great guitar chord progression. The rest of it is like Sabbath beats off the Incredible String Band while a glee watches excitedly. Which may be your thing (as you made it) but ain’t for me. That chord chug is saving the song. One third of this song I like. I hate to say it but I find this indulgent except whenever you’re working around that chug (like it’s awesome when it clicks together coming into 4 mins) – but as well played as they are the duelling guitars is a no for me. Too much of that. Soz.

BVs??
That's probably my favorite negative review ever. And it is kind of my thing, but don't accuse the rest of the band as having as poor taste as me. I had the time to get it done last week, and consequently I went off the deep end. The other gents if they had the time would have cut it into a far more pop friendly composition. I was taking a calculated risk, total miscalculation. I thought J$ probably won't like this much, but Roymond, Paco, Niv, and Noah would like the guitar riff heavy composition.

BVs = harmonies. Obviously. What, you can't read my mind?

I actually like a bit of metal and a bit of prog (keep it on the downlow) - i just felt the song was top heavy away from the bit I really liked. I did apologise at the end because the tone of the review implies I disliked it more than I did. I think having a name beginning with a letter from the end of the alphabet works against you. Invariably by the time I reach the end I am reaching word burn out and tend to try and amuse myself. I was trying to work in a duellin' banjos pun as well but ran out of time. You could always rename yourselves The Aardvark Self-Assurances.

Next time, in the interests of balance, I shall listen to your song first.

Expect a one-line review

j$ wrote: I actually like a bit of metal and a bit of prog (keep it on the downlow)

WHAAAAAAT!? Joe Strummer just rolled over.