Must... save... thread.. with reviews!
dictionary.com wrote:cres·cen·do (krə-shĕn'dō) a gradual, steady increase in loudness or force.
What a lame bunch o' crescendos we have here. I can think of twenty better crescendos off the top of my head, without even having to dip into classical music. It seems that a lot of people are asking themselves "what's the least I can do with this challenge?", when they should be asking themselves "What's the MOST I can do with this challenge?". Well, if you want to do well by
this judge, at least. Anywho, to put my money where my mouth is on that "twenty better crescendos" claim, I will be ranking everyone's crescendos in terms of a superior crescendo. For example, if I give you "0.4
Day In The Lifes", that means your crescendo was 40% the crescendo that George Martin's was. Clearly, I would be being quite generous.
Extremely Unedited Reviews!
King Arthur - Art, this song totally destroyed me: all weekend I was humming it non-stop. What a chorus. Still clipping on the peaks, but at least it's not as crunchy as Kick Start. Lyrics are charming, and the playing is superb. Those trumpets sound really phoney, but still somehow triumphant in the last few bars on the song.
The Crescendo: this smooth 20 second build into the last chorus is one of the better crescendos in this fight. Still, pretty cursory. 0.2 '
Exit Music's (Radiohead)
Ken Mahru - That is a really ugly guitar tone. The powerful verse chord progression reminds me of something I can't quite place. This chorus is amazing, a very memorable melody and a great synth line.
The Crescendo: Another 20 second bridge-builder. There is almost no build in volume for this crescendo, but increasing guitar crunch and the drum fill help sell it. Again, one of the better ones. 0.2 '
Fat Bottom Girls's (Queen)
JBB - This song is so beautiful. A tad echoey/verby for my taste. That cello sounds incredible. These are the best vocals in the round, by a long shot.
The Crescendo: I'm assuming the Crescendo is from 2:15 to 2:23. Nice vibrato on the cello. This is not so much a build in volume as it is an increase in tension. Not great. 0.2 '
Atlas's (Battles)
Octothorpe - I love that the song and the alarm clock are in the same key. Cool bendy ambiances. Great bassline. This is pretty darn catchy. The double-tracking with Mad Dog is distractingly sloppy; I'd prefer if he'd tackled the chorus alone, or perhaps pan him of to one side and yourself off to the other. Wait, why am I giving production advice to Octothorpe? I also wish you had recruited Bud to tackle the female vocals.
The Crescendo: OK, you guys earned major bonus points from me for having best incorporated the challenge (again! That's two rounds in a row). Here's why it's genius: you fulfilled the challenge in a creative way (by having a single element of the mix Crescendo... we never specified that the whole SONG had to Crescendo) by taking a sound that one naturally associates with increasing in volume (the ever-increasing alarm beep is something I'm
very familiar with) and tied it in to the lyrics. In fact, you tied it in to the title challenge quite nicely. The song was very clearly built around the title and challenge, and for that you got bumped up quite a few places. 0.3 '
The Black Hawk War's (Sufjan Stevens)
Glenn and Rachael - A nice plodder. Rachael's right-panned vocals aren't the best I've heard from her, however her center-panned chorus vocals more than make up for it. The verse and chorus are fairly catchy, but I can't believe how hauntingly perfect your falsetto is in the pre-chorus. Drums sound better than the last round, glad to hear a kick. Cool ending.
The Crescendo: At 2:49 - 2:55, it's the shortest Crescendo so far. Glad you kicked in the heavy electric guitars here. Pretty unimpressive, as far as running with the challenge goes. 0.1 '
The Grudge's (Tool)
15-16 puzzle - The bass feels a bit too loose, makes the whole thing feel sloppy. Great melody as always. I'm very ashamed to say that I didn't "get" these lyrics until after I submitted my score... turns out they're great. When I was listening uncritically I just figured the lyrics were a jumble, like
UPS Part 2. Had I gotten the whole mother's day thing earlier, I would probably have rated this a bit higher. Still, even now that I get them, the title connection is way too tenuous.
The Crescendo: 1:13-1:18. When this kicked in I was like "Oh fuck, Erik's 'bout to kick this shit up a notch" (I swear a lot in my internal monologue), but then it's totally anticlimactic and doesn't go anywhere. Oh well. At least you were one of the few people who actually pumped up the volume and intensity during their crescendo. 0.8 '
No One Knows's (Queens of the Stone Age)
The Worldly Self-Assurance - Astoundingly beautiful instruments and arrangement. Soft and pillowy. Kind or reminds me of Major Label Debut by Broken Social Scene. Where's the hook? This song mostly just passes over me like a cloud: aside from the vocals from 2:02 - 2:16 nothing really grabs my attention (until the end, that is).
The Crescendo: Here is a real man's crescendo. Great build. Too bad it's tacked on to the end of the song and doesn't go anywhere. I keep waiting for one of these crescendos to build to something epic, but none of them ever do. Still, one of the best. 0.4 '
A Day In The Life's (Beatles)
Add - Intriguing opening. Everything sounds very pretty. Whatever synth is going on in the right speaker is total ear candy. Does this song have a chorus? I guess "when she tells you you've been gone all night" is a sort of micro-chorus (great line, by the way). Very repetitive. I wish there was some variety to the drums, instead of just that kick-snare pattern over and over again. That bridge doesn't come a moment too soon; it's the best part of the song, melody wise.
The Crescendo: what crescendo? Seriously, it took me forever to convince myself that 2:30-2:38 was a Crescendo at all, and even then it was mostly because it's the only place where the drums change. There is absolutely no increase in volume, the music does not really intensify (the piano chords are held longer). However, your vocals become more emotional. Still, its such a slight treatment of the challenge that it cost you. 0.1 '
Showbiz's (Muse)
Sven - It's been a long time since I heard a Sven Mullet song that wasn't about the usual fare (filth, retards, sandwiches, etc). That's a pretty sweet electric guitar tone. Nice vocals and great melody. The dirgey, two-chord feel threatens to bore, but then it kicks into high-gear. Cool song.
The Crescendo: one of the best uses of the challenge, the whole first half of the song is written around one big Crescendo. 0.7 '
M1 A1's (Gorillaz)
Bryan Kandel - Great playing on every instrument, and very nice singing. I especially like the addition of drums and organ to your sound. Still pretty generic, but I really like the chorus.
The Crescendo: Fade in? Really? That's how you address this challenge? Boo. This hurt your rank. 0.1 '
Best of You's (Foo Fighters)
Andrew Reist - "We don't need no... education!". I would not chose that opening melody. This is pretty soft-rock, or whatever genre Bon Jovi is. "Excuse me if I blur the line between sleep walking and walking away"? Weird line. The bridge strikes me as the catchiest part, the rest I could take or leave. Nice solo. A noble attempt at the falsetto parts. Fantastic production on the guitars and drums; vocals could use more compression and maybe a little verb or delay to help them sit in the mix. All in all, not bad, but not super memorable.
The Crescendo: like with Add, it took me a fair amount of time to find your crescendo. I finally settled on 3:20-3:30, not because it gets any louder or builds in intensity, but because you get more emotional and because the drums play a fill. Wish you had done more with it. 0.1 '
Take the Veil Cerpin Taxt's (The Mars Volta)
Billy's Little Trip - Verses are funky, like a sideways version of Give It Away by RHCP. Love those guitar harmonics. Actually, the whole thing is funky. That chorus progression is unique and awesome. The vocal delivery grates on me in a hard-to-explain way, and it's keeping me from getting into this song completely.
The Crescendo: I settled on 2:15 - 2:27. A small build, not too much in the way of a volume increase, but the drums get pretty intense for a second. Pretty much treated the challenge like most other people did. Meh. 0.2 '
Bullet In The Head's (Rage Against the Machine)
Paco del Stinko - "I'm not your man, buddy!" "I'm not your buddy, guy!" You have the very unfortunate luck of submitting this song almost immediately after I went and saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall: the vocal delivery and arrangement strongly remind me of the Dracula Puppet Musical in the movie. By that, I mean the vocal delivery is silly enough to make me laugh, which was probably not your intention. Music is pretty repetitive, and there's not really any melodic hooks grabbing me.
The Crescendo: nice build throughout and epic sounding ending. Really uses the challenge. 0.5 '
Slow Cheetah's (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Starfinger - Oh Starfinger, what happened? The mediocrely doubled, swoopy chorus vocals are totally irritating, kind of like a mosquito buzzing around my head. I like parts of the verses, too bad most of them are just "nah-nah nah nah"s. Some nice synth sounds in the second half. That kick is damn punchy. Cool production, but annoying.
The Crescendo: 2:51-3:10, another one of these short bridge Crescendos leading into the last verse. Cool synth sounds are a plus, but I wish it hadn't been the same as everyone else's. 0.2 '
It's All Nice on Ice, Alright's (Modest Mouse)
Adam Adamant - You know, I actually liked this song a fair bit. It's simple, and the vocal performance could benefit from a few (ok, a lot) more takes. But I think the lead melody is well crafted and fairly catchy. The keyboard sounds and the arrangement are way too generic. You should axe that doubled vocal that comes in for, like, one second. Much better than Kick Start, and I think better than the other judges have given you credit for.
The Crescendo: 2:32 - 2:46. I almost put you at the bottom of the pile for not having one, but this fight has taught me not to look for an increase in volume, but rather a change in the drum pattern. The other synths coming in at that point help signpost where it's supposed to be. Still, a very shit Crescendo, which cost you some points. 0.2 '
Same Old Innocence's (Architecture in Helsinki)
FBF - This song is a huge enigma for me. Extensive sampling (no, not sampling. Something grander than sampling. "Song taking", as JFK says in Clone High) throughout bugs me. The verb-drenched drum machine with creepy faux-strings in the verse remind me of... um, the GTA IV theme music. But only because I've been playing it recently. I find the verses intriguing, but the choruses are decidedly NOT my cup of tea: Strident woodwinds (or whatever), coupled with shrieking guitar and a meandering melody really repulses me. The cut at 3:22 is the most jarring thing evar. These chorus segments (or that's what I'm calling them) last sooo long. In fact, the whole song is just way too long for my attention span.
The Crescendo: again, what crescendo? I know you're a music teacher, so the crescendo must be in there somewhere, but
where? I finally settled on 4:08-4:10. And that crescendo isn't even yours, it's in the music you sampled. The apparent neglect of the challenge cost you pretty heavily. 0.1 '
Sleep's (Godspeed You! Black Emperor)
Ross Durand - I think you're the first person to get hit really hard for production issues: I could
not listen to this song. I tried on three different sets of headphones and my monitors, but it is so tinny and bright and thin and painful that I only gave it one or two listens to avoid getting a headache. Sounds like that new Springsteen album, both sonically and musically. I don't remember there being any catchy bits. Listening again, the singing and guitar playing sound like really good performances.
The Crescendo: 2:15 - 2:53. A great crescendo with very cool percussion, but not enough to save the song. 0.4 '
Just Like You Imagined's (Nine Inch Nails)
Sausage Boy - Interesting sounds again, cool programming. Vocal performance and lyrics are still silly. Song is mostly homogeneous, until the terrifying ending. The only reason you're up here is because everyone below you gets TKO'd.
The Crescendo: 2:12 - 2:37. Sweet. Fucking. Christ. Well, it's definitely a Crescendo. 0.5 '
It's All Gonna Break's (Broken Social Scene)
Cock - Actually kind of a nice, simple song. I'm somewhat reminded of later Liars. I like the chorus melody.
The Crescendo: none. There is no gradual increase in intensity or volume, anywhere. There's a quiet part in the middle, but no build out of it. So, as per
my marking criteria, you end up down here.
Tex - Silly techno and unintelligible distorted mumbling. This is the kind of song I would expect from a first-time songfighter, not a third-year Nur Ein veteran. The nah nah nahs are catchy enough, and there are some coolish synths being used here. Wouldn't be a Tex song without those bongos. The synth at the end is annoying.
The Crescendo: none. A single loud synth comes in at the end, but as the old saying goes, "a single loud snyth does not a crescendo make".
Jim Tyrrell - Generic sounding music, chords and melody, but the lyrics are pretty fun. At just over a minute this is not substantial enough to be a serious contender.
The Crescendo: None. Well, there's a 2 second snare fill at the beginning, but if that's your best attempt at the challenge then you'd still end up here.
MC Eric B - When I reviewed your Kick Start I mentioned that it was almost exactly the same as the only other MC Eric B song I heard... now this one is almost exactly the same as your Kick Start submission! Same verse chord progression, same verse melody, same chorus chord (yes, just one!), same chorus melody, same lyrical meter, same weird detune-effect on the chorus. Even the lyrics are similar, as they have basically the same concept and both use lines like "go for a ride" in the same context. So, while this song does have the title in it, I really don't feel like it was "written" for this round: it seems more to me that--intentionally or not--you are recycling the same song over and over again.
The Crescendo: Volume goes up in the last half, including a cool synth-tom fill. Sort of a crescendo. 0.3 '
Streamline's (System of a Down)
Hoblit's Non-existant Entry - I'm sure it rocked.
The Crescendo: a crescendo so epic that it blew out Hoblit's computer. 17 '
The Art of Self Destruction, Part One's (NIN)
Lord of Oats - Stop wasting my time.
As plenty have stated, there were a heap of good songs here, both delightful to listen to and inimidating to compete against - good job, all. Also, thanks to the judges and all of the nice comments people left. Nur Ein!
