The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Jim of Seattle wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2019 2:08 pm

Right Town Wrong Address Reviews

Phlebia
Very cool. I wish I could understand the lyrics because they sound important. The processing on them wrecks it for me a bit, and it sounds like it might be a story song so it's frustrating to not get them. Also more kick boom and bass.

They're in the lyric thread, if you're interested. It's essentially recalling an altercation I had with my neighbors up the street last summer. You're right though, the vocals are kind of drowned out in the mix. I wonder if it's a sound system thing? To me they sound perfectly audible, but I've gotten that from several people. Then again I already *know* the words cause I wrote and sang them, so there's probably familiarity bias at work there. I *think* I did a better job at not drowning them out in the mix in my entry this week. As for the kick drum? Yeah I have a crap recording set up and need to replace a torn resonant head. That's why I lean on the floor tom so much :p

Æpplês&vØdkã wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2019 4:12 pm

You're right though, the vocals are kind of drowned out in the mix. I wonder if it's a sound system thing?

Is the vocal track isolated? I don't know what kind of equipment you're using of course, but it really sounds like too much processing, but it could be lousy mics. If you sent me all the tracks raw I could try my hand at mixing it.

Jim of Seattle wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2019 2:08 pm

miscellaneous owl
Love it. Reminds me of Dog by Nat Johnson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWg7-AfoLAY. About twice too long. For example, I would break into the pretty bridge after two verses instead of three.

Thanks for the kind words, glad you liked it! Also welcome back to the boards, hope to see you in the next fight.

I'm not super sure how to interpret your suggestion about the length because I was thinking of the structure as VVCVVC with an extra line at the end of the second chorus... so no bridge and no groups of 3 anythings... do you mean the 4th verse ("is this what it is to be alive") should come right after the 1st chorus, and the verse right before that should get ditched?

owl wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2019 4:23 pm

I'm not super sure how to interpret your suggestion about the length because I was thinking of the structure as VVCVVC with an extra line at the end of the second chorus... so no bridge and no groups of 3 anythings... do you mean the 4th verse ("is this what it is to be alive") should come right after the 1st chorus, and the verse right before that should get ditched?

My mistake, I wasn't counting very carefully. If I were working on this song with you, here's what I'd suggest:

Cut from 1:33 - 1:59, making the chorus half as long. It sounds like a repeating chorus. You could get away with repeating it at the end like you're doing now, if you want.
Also cut the repeat of the first verse from 1:59 - 2:26.
So essentially go straight from 1:33, end of the first chorus, to the third verse at 2:26.
VVCVC with a C that's now half as long
I would also remove all the fermatas while you're at it, just keep the pulse going, it's not working to have you pause all those times.

Hope this clarifies my thought!

Jim of Seattle wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2019 4:19 pm

Æpplês&vØdkã wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2019 4:12 pm

You're right though, the vocals are kind of drowned out in the mix. I wonder if it's a sound system thing?

Is the vocal track isolated? I don't know what kind of equipment you're using of course, but it really sounds like too much processing, but it could be lousy mics. If you sent me all the tracks raw I could try my hand at mixing it.

It's a decent Mic! A Shure SM58 specifically. I flubbed a couple notes in one of the takes, and overlaid a corrected track on top of an uncorrected second track. It sounded cool when I used that effect to fatten up the production and add a "chorus" effect from the inherent phasing during my collab with soulflow Steve a couple weeks ago. That also wasn't melody driven and had a *way* less noisy production style. Turns out you need *really* clean vocals on top if you're going to make the rest of the track consist of over-compressed drums, blown out bass, ravey synths, and a warpy pad.

But yeah pm me if you want the raw tracks, I'd love to hear your take on the mix

Jim of Seattle wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2019 4:52 pm

owl wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2019 4:23 pm

I'm not super sure how to interpret your suggestion about the length because I was thinking of the structure as VVCVVC with an extra line at the end of the second chorus... so no bridge and no groups of 3 anythings... do you mean the 4th verse ("is this what it is to be alive") should come right after the 1st chorus, and the verse right before that should get ditched?

My mistake, I wasn't counting very carefully. If I were working on this song with you, here's what I'd suggest:

Cut from 1:33 - 1:59, making the chorus half as long. It sounds like a repeating chorus. You could get away with repeating it at the end like you're doing now, if you want.
Also cut the repeat of the first verse from 1:59 - 2:26.
So essentially go straight from 1:33, end of the first chorus, to the third verse at 2:26.
VVCVC with a C that's now half as long
I would also remove all the fermatas while you're at it, just keep the pulse going, it's not working to have you pause all those times.

Hope this clarifies my thought!

Yes, your suggestions are clear now, thanks!

Good fight! Lots of good songs, I'll be voting for a lot of these. It has been a LONG week and I wrote a lot of these reviews after a couple of Old Fashioneds (brandy sour, thank you) so I'm sorry in advance for any typos or stupid opinions. Speaking of which, let's play:

OWL REVIEWS DRINKING GAME
take a drink (of whatever you please) anytime you encounter one of the following in these reviews:

• GENRE BIAS
• this song is too long
• "Lola" by the Kinks
• annoying tone
• "naive" or "charming"

Balance Lost: I love the main driving rhythm parts in this song, they are really fun and carry the song forward nicely, and work well with the delicate harmonized guitar bits in between. I like the lyrics--that first mention of Nintendo among the otherwise dreamy pastoral images from the first verse is one of those little details that makes you sit up and listen to the words a little closer, although I would agree with Æpplês&vØdkã that the connection to the title is not particularly strong. Minor nitpicks: a couple bits felt like they could use a bit more development, like the transition with the cowbell or the ending, which both felt a little... default? boring? But overall I really enjoyed it.
Berkeley Social Scene: Nice! It reminds me of early 2000s pop-punk. The high beep beep verse guitar is nice, I like the handclaps that come in later, and I like the kind of melancholy chorus of this song a lot. And the AYAYAYAY! The solo is well executed, but I'd like it to be about half the length it currently is. Actually I think that's maybe my main complaint about this song; I like it, but it starts to feel like it could use an edit, there are a few too many similar verses/choruses to hold my full attention through the end. There's also something very odd-sounding about the drums in this song, particularly the snare (or one of the cymbals, I'm not sure? but it really sticks out).
The Dormouse Choir: I like the lyrics, they are wonderfully creepy and surreal and fantastic, and have some lovely echoing rhymes inside the lines like fear/appear/beard, but I have to agree with whoever it was who said this would probably be better as spoken word over an atmospheric music track. The "old stars in my heart" line reminds me of Big Thief's "Masterpiece"--"old stars filling up your throat, you gave them to me when I was born, now they're spilling out." The words don't scan particularly well as lyrics, and it's hard to make out what you intended with your song. Didn't really work for me in its current form, but I would be intrigued to hear you put something together that's a bit more fleshed-out musically.
Glenn Case: I like the unusual key shifts/borrowed chords in this song, particularly in the chorus, there's a moment in the transition chord progression out of that that reminds me of "Lola." Although I'm not super fond of the way it leads into the song in the intro. I really dig the bassline, I think it adds just the right level of movement and interest--not showy but also not boring. I got hung up on pondering the "address" pronunciation question too--"ADD-ress" sounds grammatical to me too but for some reason I also went for "ad-DRESS" in my song, and I spent waaay too long thinking about when and why I would say "ADD-ress" vs "ad-DRESS". My favorite bit of this song is the bridge, the rhythmic shift there is really pleasing. I think my main criticism is that, aside from the bridge, the drums and guitars mostly kind of hang out on this thump-thump-thump-thump quarter-note rhythm for the majority of the song and that starts to feel a little tedious by the end.
Hot Pink Halo: +1 for the banana melodica! This is very sunny and charming in a sweet Beat Happening kind of way. I like all the specific details in the lyrics; I feel like I'm being infuriatingly literal here, but I don't really understand what is happening with the Rolls Royce in the plot? Is there a car in the envelope? Also, the "I don't know the whole story" verse lost me a little, it already feels like it has a lot of lyrics and this verse didn't seem to move anything forward--I think I would have liked those words more in a shorter song. I liked all the stuff happening in the arrangement--the organ sounds lovely and the harpsichord is so pleasingly shimmery--although a few more places where you leave some space in the arrangement and/or change the rhythm up a bit more would have been welcome, it starts to feel like a lot of stuff all going on all the time. I didn't really like some of the melodic choices--for example, the kind of cliche descending low synth thing in the ending, it felt too predictable even if you're going for a naive-indie-pop-type sound; and I would have liked the vocal melodies to be varied a bit more.
James Owens: This kind of feels like it's going to break into a 90's electro-swing song but it never quite gets there! I gotta say, I didn't really like the lead synth or guitar or whatever it is, I found the tone too abrasive and the part it was playing too bombastic, but that's a personal taste thing. I like your vocal, and I like that this song feels experimental and unexpected, and that it also feels serious and dramatic musically, but is a total joke as far as the lyrics. It's not at the top of the pack for me, but I always like hearing things that sound different from the rest.
Leppakron: This feels way more structured than some of your past submissions (though still quite loose performance-wise), and it's easier to make out the lyrics, which work quite nicely and stick to a consistent theme. Good chorus lyrical hook, memorable and catchy even if not melodically groundbreaking or anything. I think the lead guitar is still pretty busy and noodly, but I appreciate that it's a bit more restrained than on past songs. I think it has a good skeleton but would really work better if the instrumental parts felt more "composed" and deliberate.
Lily Plus Martin: I really loved the acoustic first half of this song! It has a delicate floaty Nick Drake vibe to it and I loved the subtle humor and storytelling. The whole song is very cool and sweeping and super ambitious, although I actually kind of wish it had stayed un-ambitious and stopped after the first half, leaving ambiguity about whether Martin was a time traveler or just a crazy person... Lovely vocals in the electronic part, the part with the slowly stacking a cappella harmonies is neat and reminds me of St. Vincent, but I'm not super compelled by the skittery beat or the melody in the 2nd half, and the lyrics all seem a bit too on-the-nose. I'm not really one to talk after my last entry, but I'll second Vom's comment that this does have a bit of the feel of two songs stuck together with a super-abrupt transition, and I wish there were more of a connecting element, like the acoustic guitar carrying over on top of the synths through the transition or something; you do that connection well in the transition from electronic back to acoustic at the end. Anyway it is good stuff!
The Magnetic Letters: I love the smooth, mellow production plus ridiculous lyrics. I hope this becomes a mainstream radio hit and causes a sea of "what the fuck?"s around the world. Did you end up performing with a carrot mouthpiece or anything? Please say yes! I have to say I'm not sure why you are in the right town but wrong address--that didn't really make sense to me in the lyrics. I have to say it's not my favorite genre-wise, I sort of feel like I'm listening to music while picking up prescriptions in the pharmacy, but it made me laugh a lot and I very much appreciated the vegetable theme.
miscellaneous owl: This was simultaneously a lot of fun and a huge pain in the ass to record, but I'm happy with how it came out overall, I think the celery crunching was restrained enough not to ruin the mood, and the guitar playing was only a little bit worse than it would have been under normal circumstances. Good to know the poetry sample is universally hated--I put a version without that spoken word part up here (and panned the countermelody vocal a bit more since the two vocal parts were blending so much), if you're curious to see how it sounds without. I actually didn't have the countermelody or the sample there in my original draft, but I felt kind of bored by the ending chorus after recording it and felt like it needed more stuff going on, but simultaneously couldn't bring myself to record any more additional instrumentals with food because it felt too messy and annoying, soooo it ended up being stuff that I could put in without feeling like I was "cheating" on the challenge. I really wanted the spoken part to be more of a texture than an active element and had considered just putting in a field recording of a cafe or something, but couldn't resist putting in something meaningful in relation to the main message of the song as well. I don't know if it really needs it or if I just listened to it too many times as I was overdubbing/mixing.
Phlebia: I really like the melody and energy of this song, it has an excellent gothy feel and it is both catchy and dark! I really enjoyed this, but I do wish the song was about half its current length because, as much as I enjoyed reading about the events of that day in your forum posts, I actually couldn't make out a dang thing you were saying aside from the chorus and a few random phrases like "white utility van." Also I kept thinking you were singing about your mother the lobster, which sounds EXTREMELY intriguing, and was disappointed every time I remembered I'd looked at the lyrics and it was "mother's Veloster." Anyway, since I couldn't make out the storyline, and the general energy level and instrumentation stays pretty constant, it felt a bit too long and repetitive for me as a result. I like that distorted warbly synth (I also love iZotope Vinyl and want to use it on everything!), wasn't crazy about the distorted bass tone. The mix felt pretty flat to me, not enough volume dynamics, everything kind of seems thinner as a result because it's all equally loud at the same time. But I liked all the actual instrumental parts, nothing felt too busy or too sparse or too loose.
Pigfarmer Jr: This kind of hard rock song is not at all my genre... but I do think the chorus is excellent, it's simple, swaggery and catchy. Overall the arrangement feels more simple than what I'd expect from you, particularly the super-straight-ahead rhythm guitar through most of the song (the solo is great though!) I think the lyrics could use some work, they felt clunky in places ("Hours: Open all twenty-four" felt really awkward!), and the meter and rhyme scheme felt much too simplistic, but I liked the concept and the plot twist. I wrote and then deleted a comment about how I initially disliked the "cute girl named Paul" line but then upon further reflection, thought this felt a bit like a spiritual successor to "Lola" with the naive narrator encountering Different Kinds of People in the Great Big World... then I decided to write something about it again because when I previewed my post, I realized I already mentioned "Lola" once and I figure I should just keep talking about it.
ShoehornTC: Aww, I loved this, I adore the kind of messy feeling to this and wistful emotional feel, I thought it was very sweet! The backing vocals work really nicely to reinforce that warm, sincere, guileless feeling. Lots of lovely little details in the lyrics, the rain and the Bloody Marys. OK, so it feels pretty sloppy and ramshackle performance-wise, and the lyrics are kind of artless, but I think it all just works very well for the pure, charming little story-song this set out to be in the first place.
Slither: That wailing-guitar intro reminds me of "Smooth" by Santana, but maybe after a couple of Quaaludes--it's not in a hurry. It also feels extremely Smooth and glossy with all the tasteful reverby guitars and floaty pads and clean delayed vocals. Skillful production, but this just really isn't for me genre-wise. Lyrics are kind of vague, in a way that I think a lot of people like because it's highly quotable when they're dramatically vaguebooking/subtweeting/setting their teenage AIM away message/whatever, but I just didn't find a ton to grab onto lyrically, personally. [Insert usual complaint about the trademark STM vocal style here] [Insert usual complaint about reggae-tinged beats here] I do like the vocals changing up in the chorus and it's a nice, professional-sounding song. Not much to complain about aside from my own personal taste things.
Third Cat: I really like the combo of the lo-fi drum machine sound and very present electric guitar and faraway clean synths, it has a really nice feel instrumentally. I wish the vocal wasn't so processed, I think this song would work nicely with a cleaner, warmer vocal. Love the melody for most of the song, it has a dreamy, slightly psychedelic feel that I dig, although it started to feel a bit less thought-out/tuneful and a bit more rambly in the bridge/outro part. I also love the part where it feels like the song kicks in a bit harder around 00:54. I wish it opened up into a big lush blown-out orchestral thing at that point, like, idk, the ending of Spiritualized's "Stay With Me" maybe? The ending feels very abrupt, like you just kind of ran out of steam instead of having thought through the ending all the way. I feel like it's the first draft of something I would love but hasn't quite gotten all the way there yet compositionally. More crescendos, less fadeouts!
TOSHIRO: I don't really know anything about Archers of Loaf, and I feel like I've heard their name more here in the last month than in the last 20 years, for whatever reason. So I have no basis for comparison. I love the energetic noisiness of this track, although I don't love the main guitar tone, it's a bit annoying to me, and far more when it's constant through the whole song, it feels like it could use more low end or something. Anyway, nitpick! I enjoyed this lots. The interlocking riffs in the intro are super sweet, and the vocal feels satisfyingly big despite being generally fairly quiet in the mix. Maybe the guitars could stand to be a bit quieter during verses though. The swirly chaotic outro is awesome.

I haven’t written reviews yet, but I think it’s time to tell the story in my song!

It was a normal day in Old Fitzroy Town... well, Fitzroy, as it’s actually known. Fitzroy’s history is that it’s the oldest suburb in Melbourne, sitting just outside the CBD. It’s seen a lot of change over time, and while artists can’t really afford to live there anymore, it still kind of is the art and music hub of Melbourne. I worked in an art supply shop in Fitzroy (Grievance St is a play on words of the actual street name) in an ancient building right in the heart of old bohemian Fitzroy, which the original business owner bought for AUD $190,000 in 1986, and sold for AUD $3.2 million in 2016. (The seven luxury apartments that have been built in its place are going for a cool AUD $1.5 million each.) But before it was a world for rich people, Fitzroy was where the artists lived and worked. When I first met @Toshiro, he was living in a fully mosaic-ed house in Fitzroy literally called Artist’s House. You can see it briefly in this music video, which was the band of someone I worked with in the shop:



I also worked with members of these bands:









So, yeah, Fitzroy: where naive indie rock runs like red wine through the streets in A Tale of Two Cities. I was going for something like Frente! meets The Lucksmiths.

Anyway, back to the story. I was working in the art supply shop, which specialised in printmaking materials, and one day I came back from a break to find an envelope on the counter that had been opened by one of my coworkers and left there because he didn’t know what it was, bless him. He’d been talking to a customer about weird letterpress stuff over the previous week or so, so his first thought was “What? This must be a weird tiny letterpress thing.” We did get a lot of odd mail from artists, so this isn’t *quite* as naive as it sounds, but still.

All that was inside was a CD case with about 12 tiny tablets stamped with the Rolls Royce logo. I actually also thought “what is this weird letterpress stuff” for a brief moment before registering that the RR stamped on top wasn’t reversed, as it would be for letterpress. My next thought was “is this something for my boss?”, who is a Rolls of the Rolls Royce familial line. A legitimate thought in those circumstances. And then I thought, um, no. This is a package of ecstasy that SOMEONE HAS SENT US IN THE POST. I searched the internet for Rolls Royce drugs at work, et voilà.

Now, we were the type of workplace where if there was any kind of drug testing policy, the two remaining staff would quit from being overworked, so while I hid the drugs quietly in the shop owner’s office and left a cryptic note as to what he would find and where, my boss surreptitiously asked around to make sure none of the staff were dumb enough to have their ecstasy delivered to us. After the package had been taken down to the cop shop (the copper shop line is my favourite obscure pun in the whole song; being a printmaking shop, if anyone in town wanted to buy copper, they’d come to us), we settled on the culprit being the ex-staff member I replaced, who was fired as a result of an extreme drug problem that was severely affecting the workplace. It felt like the kind of plan that someone who only thinks about drugs would consider really clever: in that building, which was old and a lot like the Black Books of art stores, the postie would leave our mail on a table just inside the door, where we couldn’t see it and it would often sit there for a bit. It was an area where customers would often hang around because we had a community notice board there for art events and classes, and a spot where people could leave their flyers and invitations. We think that whoever ordered the drugs thought they could anticipate when the post would arrive then come and steal our mail.

Two weeks later they tried it again.

So, apart from a couple of bits in the song that I technically made up*, this is a true and accurate description of possibly the weirdest day of my working life. Before that, the best work story I had was the time I sold Geoffrey Rush a toilet cleaning brush.

*Made up bits include assuming who the “you” of the song was, and that “Damn These Vampires” was playing on the stereo. I can’t be sure of that second point, but the Mountain Goats did get a run at least once a day.

Opinions are largely meaningless, especially mine.

here we go!

Hot Pink Halo

Music is cute and lots of nice tinkly winkle bits and pieces in there.. but I find it all hard to figure out because the vocals are so big compared to the rest of the mix. The vox could use more variation melody-wise I think.. it’s quite same-ish throughout. I do like the song itself - cool take on the title. Would love to hear a re-mix of this with more space for all the things.

Phlebia

I was initially put-off by the lo-fi, swirly mudscape but actually I’m over myself… I dig it. I guess the challenge I have is that the ever present wide mid swirl makes differentiating between song sections difficult., and though that might be by design by the writer(s), for the this listener, it detracts from the song-ishness of the track. For what it’s worth - this reminds me a lot of DEVO, and in a great way. By 2:40 I’m back to being slightly annoyed by the gratuitous lo-fi patina that’s all over what is otherwise a pretty sweet tune. I’m sure some folks love love love this… and I respect it on the whole, but it gets tiresome to me after awhile. Impressive work production wise. There’s often (not always), a fair bit of effort behind making music sound dirty and snotty and muddy and swirly.

Poss. Vote

James Owens

Ok - 2 listens on this one before I could jot my thoughts down. Same push/pull as a previous track… the synth brass makes me cringe - but hey - who’s got a working and tight horn section available when you need one, right? Forgiven. LOL. The progression is bold and dramatic and I instantly like it. I like the melody over it too. I wish, WISH the delay was used somehow differently, panned maybe, or processed, so it didn’t walk all over the main vocal line, making lyrics hard to decipher. The guitar was tasty and well played, though I’m not a fan of the tone here.. sounds directly plugged in from a distortion pedal. In fact, this song could also use a re-mix with real dramatic flair being the overall direction - using space and panning and great effects to build and heighten the track’s impact.

Not sold on the ending but didn’t hate it either. I definitely dig where this was going though. Nice work.

Misc. Owl

2 chords in and I’m in. I like those chords. What a great voice! So delicate. Distant bell ringing almost imperceptibly is a sweet bonus. Lovely chorus. This is all very sweet, and my only gripe is that it’s all far too understated. I believe there’s a way to present the song with the same attention to delicate delivery but have everything sound bigger. That said - full disclosure, that’s my sonic bias talking. There is abundant charm with this track and the exact way you’ve presented it. Minor chord ending is odd - makes me want to go back to the lyrics to figure out why. Clever.

Strong Poss. Vote

TOSHIRO

I don’t have much to say here… I like the song quite a bit. I don’t like the recording quality but that’s me. You do what you can with what you got, right? But real quick, drums need to be punchier and way more up front, give those guitars a little more meat on the bone and spread ‘em wide so the vocals can bullishly snarl unimpeded, using that solid foundation to jump off of.

Cool tune for sure - I like it.
Poss. Vote.

Third Cat

I dig this right away. The keyboard playing some sort of 4ths or 5ths or whatever it is (I’m a musical luddite) is awesome and creates a great spaciousness in the track. Love when that guitar lead/break happens after the first chorus… wow…so much cool quirk to love here. Almost falls apart rhythmically but holds together…

Oh no! Feels like you could have gone for another full loop on verses and choruses - ended too soon!

Half vote for creative charm and great execution. Would love the mix to be bigger here as well.

Balance Lost

This is really charming… and great turnaround from the chorus(?) to the verse.. nice work! Love the noodling guitar work throughout… lyrics are great too. “Those bigger houses, you pass on your commute” is a fantastic line and by the last time you sing it, I’m all in. Lots of great music here and the vocals were charming enough for me to not be bothered by the full-time doubling of them and the sloppy word endings that creates. Sweet tune!

Strong poss. Vote.

Glenn Case

I like the acoustic tone - not too bright - meaty and warm. Love the chord changes in the chorus end… sweet. I feel the first chorus is twice as long as it should have been. /minorgripe Strong melody/vocal performance - I dig it. Your voice reminds me of a band called The Odds. Cool. Sweet little pop song - I dig it. I wish it had something more in the sugar department - like a bridge, or even just an edgier electric Gtr part coming in part way through the song to add some interest. All the gripes are minor - this is a great track.

Def. poss. vote.

Leppakron

That slap delay/verb is weird, or is that another take? Cool. Got me listening! I like the noodles guitar work - it’s a gutsy move and takes chops to pull it off - nice work. The vocals grate a little bit - pitchy and sloppy, hard to make out. Fellow Ontarian? Decent track - not my bag, but I can dig it.

The Doormouse Choir

Saw these lyrics in the lyric archive a few days ago, before listening - was wondering what I’d hear to go along with them. Acapella is a booooold choice. Maybe that’s by necessity? It doesn’t draw me in like I want it to. I think you’ve got a neat Jim Croce/Dylan tonality to your voice - so if you wanted to you could leverage that a bit more. Not sure if sans instruments is your thing - but some reverb or other narrative supporting sound fx might help create some interest for this tune.

BSS

Well played, tightly recorded, nice melodies and harmonies… what’s not to like? Generally always easy to get behind - this BSS track is no exception. I found the drum sounds a little lofi for my tastes. Wide guitars are great … the solo with the delay was great - well played - but I feel like it could have maybe some chorus/flange/phaser to add some interest and set it apart - sounded too plain to me. And I might like a smidge more stereo width on the drums - not a fan of mono drums, though I admit it does give boat loads of space for wide guitars and synths - so YMMV. Great work! Solid Poss Vote

Pigfarmer Jr

SNAWT ROK GUITAR. I’m digging the tone. Interesting to collapse the guitar to mono for the chorus and wide for the verses.. I’d have done the opposite. I like the chorus and riff. Solid rock tune! I don’t get to listen and review to SF! As much as I used to, but it seems to me that this is a much more impressive realization of PigfarmerJr than the first tunes of yours I heard a few years ago - kick ass man! Nice work.

The Magnetic Letters

This is a very cool story song and the understated sax part after carving a carrot mouthpiece is brilliant! This is so wacky and I friggin’ love it. Great chord progression, lovely melody and harmonies… nothing I don’t like about this. It’s like Ween went to folk town and took music lessons from Jimmy Buffet. So amazing.

Vote

Lily Plus Martin

THIS.

Love the winding story, folkesque guy&guitar intro - very tasty and the melody is fantastic over that progression. The transition to the electronic part is super cool, if a bit jarring but you make it work and the vocals are terrific. Ending back where we started after a lovely crescendo is delicious. Strong song, well crafted and I’m all in. Vote.

Shoehorn TC

Cute in a rough way… it’s not grabbing me, but it’s fairly done. I find some of the lyrics are rushed and awkward. Not a fan of this genre, whatever it is, so I’m afraid I don’t have much to offer here except that I’m not into it very much. It’s capably recorded, adequately performed and I could understand the lyrics so there’s some good stuff. . Genre bias strikes me hard here.

Slither

STM and I like genre hopping with different bands - Slither is our mid-tempo smooth project. We decided to go production-y on this one - lots of fun working with the space that slower tempos gives you. I recognize the chorus is uber cheesy 80’s pop - but that’s the era I cut my musical teeth on - so suck it. Haha. (Defensive much? Lol) As for the ending being tacked on - we discussed that at length - but to remove the ending invalidates the intro - they are the same, albeit one has a lead over it. I personally love songs that bring back an early theme at the end..feels nice and tidy to me. As for the reggae hate - it’s only hinted at here, but all good.. you like what you like. I also used to dislike reggae - but I’m pretty down with it nowadays. Often we’re trying genre trappings out for fun, sometimes because it’s new to us. We aren’t reggae musicians, but it’s a fun groove to jam on as musicians..no denying that. I’m a fan of the skank. Yadda yada - YMMV.

Thanks for all the reviews - this was the first fight I’ve been able to listen through and review in awhile despite entering regularly-ish..and the quality on hand is really awesome to hear. Great work folks!

thehipcola wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 16, 2019 7:07 am

Opinions are largely meaningless, especially mine.

here we go!

Phlebia
this reminds me a lot of DEVO, and in a great way.

If you'd believe it, the only Devo song I know is Whip It. I *do* know that they're idols when it comes to artsy fartsy new wavey post-punk acts. I like artsy fartsy and I obviously like post-punk given what I submitted...where do I start? Are we not men?

thehipcola wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 16, 2019 7:07 am

Slither

STM and I like genre hopping with different bands - Slither is our mid-tempo smooth project.

So there is a meaning to the different band names!

thehipcola wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 16, 2019 7:07 am

I recognize the chorus is uber cheesy 80’s pop - but that’s the era I cut my musical teeth on - so suck it.

That's why I dug it!

thehipcola wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 16, 2019 7:07 am

As for the reggae hate - it’s only hinted at here, but all good.. you like what you like.

That is another reason why I dug it. Though admittedly I'm way more into dub than I am reggae in a strict sense -- I have *way* too many releases from greensleeves records in my collection.

@crumpart THANK YOU for explaining that!
Also I forgot about Frente!, I used to love them, I spent my drive to this class revisiting them. Fucking songfight makes me think all the time about what i'd complain about if a song was entered in a fight... while I think it's made me a more careful listener, I think it's also made me pickier in a way that isn't always great for pure enjoyment.

What's the naive indie equivalent of red wine in the streets? La Croix? Coffee with oat milk? Topo Chico?

owl wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 16, 2019 8:59 am

@crumpart THANK YOU for explaining that!
Also I forgot about Frente!, I used to love them, I spent my drive to this class revisiting them. Fucking songfight makes me think all the time about what i'd complain about if a song was entered in a fight... while I think it's made me a more careful listener, I think it's also made me pickier in a way that isn't always great for pure enjoyment.

What's the naive indie equivalent of red wine in the streets? La Croix? Coffee with oat milk? Topo Chico?

Goon bag.

Man back when I was in Texas I'd chug topo by the liter. So good!

Good fight! How many of us actually ended up using food to play our instruments. Me and owl? Anyone else?

Balance Lost:
Have absolutely, thoroughly enjoyed this on every listen. Even though it doesn't mention the actual prompt, I understood where it was coming from thematically. I love the "ooo wheee!" at the end, and is that some kind of motor starting up at the beginning (or supposed to reference one)? Nice touches. When I first read the lyrics, I misread it as "kids are circling", which oddly also made perfect sense to me in context. The only line that feels a little forced to me is "and people still protest in this strong economy"; it seems a little shoehorned in.

Berkeley Social Scene:
Also loved this one! I'm not sure what the vocals here remind me of exactly, but they're hitting a sweet spot for me. Dinosaur Jr maybe? Redd Kross? I like pretty much everything about this, but my one gripe is that it feels a bit too long, which is weird, because it's only about 8 seconds longer than my own entry. I think there's something in the way it's structured that suggests that it should finish earlier. It does have handclaps though to make up for that one minor thing.

The Dormouse Choir:
I missed this one in the first upload and had to go back to listen to it later. There's definite courage in releasing something without any accompanying instrumentation at all. I feel like this would benefit at least from something to help keep a beat, even some kind of hand percussion if you want to keep it minimal, as it's a bit drifty on its own.

Glenn Case:
I enjoy the harmonies in this, and overall it feels very well made. It's a bit repetitive though, which is sometimes good, but in this case makes it go on a bit.

Hot Pink Halo:
I probably said enough about this earlier in the thread. It's full of very specific jokes and references to make me smile, and one of them is that it's in the key of E.

James Owens:
I admit, I don't understand the lame joke that this was based on, which is probably a cultural difference, but I did thoroughly enjoy that video clip you posted earlier. Big fan of old time musicals, but I haven't seen that one so will have to check it out. Even though I don't get the joke, I did really enjoy listening to this.

Leppakron:
This is very quiet. Stylistically it's enjoyable enough, but it's hard work to actually listen to properly, which makes it difficult to focus on the good bits.

Lily Plus Martin:
This one started well but fell apart on me. It sounds to me like you had a fun idea, but the structure makes it feel like about five unrelated songs. It's just too disjointed for me to latch on to any one part, and it just doesn't stick in my brain.

The Magnetic Letters:
I was going to vote for this, then I wasn't, then I decided to after all. It's made me laugh every time and I love the commitment to different musical styles that you've been embracing recently. Glad someone used the carrot video. I hope you made a flute.

miscellaneous owl:
This is just so beautiful and heartbreaking. I agree with some other comments that the sampled bits are a slightly distracting, but I didn't mind them so much. It actually reminds me a little of Silent Night/Seven O'Clock News by Simon and Garfunkel, which is always a plus in my book. I do think that playing with the almond added something to the guitar part that wouldn't have been there if you'd played it normally; it sounds even more frail and delicate, like it could all fall apart any minute, and that really works for the mood of the song. Absolutely my favourite song from the fight. I'm not crying, you're crying. Shut up.

Phlebia:
This is an interesting some and I quite enjoyed listening to it. It seems like a lot of effort to write all those words though, then bury them. Although I do get not wanting to draw attention to the fact that it's about a dead dog, so maybe in this case the fact that I can't understand them is good?

Pigfarmer Jr:
I quite enjoyed this. It's could be cliché, but it's lighthearted and doesn't take itself too seriously, so you get away with it. I feel like the timing/meter on some of the phrasing could be improved. My suggestion would be to look at where you're placing emphasis in some phrases, and in other instances to really just let loose and embody the character in the song, because it feels a bit like you're reading too much as you sing and if you relax a bit more it would help. Overall though, it's pretty solid.

ShoehornTC:
This is quite cute. The intro doesn't quite feel like it fits in with the rest of the song, almost like you started playing something different then changed the rhythm immediately. Maybe that's deliberate, but I can't figure out why. I enjoy the harmonies that come in throughout.

Slither:
This is really well made, but I could not for the life of me tell you anything about it even after listening multiple times. Maybe its genre bias on my part, but it feels like it's all polish and no heart. Also, it's nearly five minutes long, which doesn't help with that. Nothing wrong with a long song, but this one reminds me of its length.

Third Cat:
This has a good beat and I like all those synth sounds, especially the ones panned to the right. There's some discordance throughout, and it feels very deliberate, and I think fits nicely with the theme.

TOSHIRO:
I wasn't going to vote for this originally, but I listened to it again tonight and it got me. Now, define and use monotype in a sentence without looking it up first.

Balance Lost -- The opening sound may have been the inspiration for the ASMR "optional challenge" of the next fight (Try Me). The beginning of the song is harmonically sparse, making it hard to find my bearings. Then it settles into a sharp, almost mechanical staccato which has more nervous energy than liveliness about it. The instruments are repurposed nicely to change the texture while maintaining sonic continuity. The right length and a pleasant listen.

Berkeley Social Scene -- The two guitars occupy more or less the same tone, pitch, and rhythm spaces, resulting in a slightly unfocussed effect. The percussion sometimes moves idiosyncratically in the direction of jazz, while other parts are more straightforwardly disciplined rock. The vocals are, at times, bravely out there, and that works to connect the listener. A rhythmic change during the lead solo helps refresh the song. The beeping guitar wandering over the stereo field afterwards distracted me a little.

The Dormouse Choir -- An unaccompanied voice in a folk-like style, as if someone on a rural porch is intent on fascinating his audience with a singsong riddle; sung in a Dylanesque way and with somewhat Dylaneque lyrics, rich in allusion but more narrative in form, this cryptic entry catches the ear in an interesting way.

Glenn Case -- A rich, sonorous mix, with prominent low notes in the chords, generous use of softening intervals, a bright acoustic guitar around sweet vocals, and a crisp, upbeat rhythm. Good tune. In the instrumental introduction, I get flashes of the Kinks' Lola. The entry seems shorter than it is.

Hot Pink Halo -- The tune is bog standard in many ways, but the lyrics draw me in with their cleverness and originality, so that's OK. Pretty good recording and arrangement, lots going on, some unexpected and imaginative sounds, occasionally a little disorganized; fun vibe.

James Owens -- I didn't invest a lot in this. I've come to realize that there are two types of Song Fight entry, for me anyway: real songs that could be for a wide audience, and then toss-offs intended for Song Fight only. I'm not sure my audience always appreciates the difference. The real songs always hurt more, because I care about them and fuss over them and they may not come out the way I want (often they're maudlin). The toss-offs, well, I'll just dial up "brass section 1" on the synth and play some triads, and that will do. It's much less stressful.

Leppakron -- We traded ideas for the concept and settled on Ontario's rich collection of namesake towns and cities. Yes, Smalltown Mike [edit: I mean thehipcola], we're fellow Ontarians. The guitar noodling was supposed to be better integrated with the vocals, but I guess in the end noodling is noodling. Do we just get together and smoke legal weed and jam an entry? Well, yes, but sometimes we plan and practice for a few hours at least. The resulting tracks get turned over to the jam's resident engineer/producer, who mixes them down and maybe adds stuff. He's getting better at it. In this case the middle eight got out of hand, but only because my over-the-top falsetto vocals had to be rescued or buried or something.

Lily Plus Martin -- The opening part, with its moody warm acoustic finger style guitar, narrow linear melodies, occasional dissonances, and dreamy flanging effects, reminds me of Roger Waters or Syd Barrett; the second, in the same key and using the same melodic phrase, has a drier mix and a reflective, tenderly aspiring mood that reminds me of Sarah McLachlan. This is followed by an experimental a capella interlude, in which the vocals range from free-form to percussive. The percussive singing carries into a continuation of the second part, and then the acoustic guitar acts as a bridge into a brief reprise of the first mood. I like both parts a lot, but in the overall song they feel disjointed.

The Magnetic Letters -- This is a good take on an earnest Cat Stevens sort of song. "I'll show you what I can do" brings all the noble personal hope of the music, and the arrangement and performances are shot through with the same bravely inspired mood. But it's about carrots, exposing the existential struggle of the singer as absurd.

Miscellanous Owl -- Good guitar and vocal recording. if you're lucky enough to be able to apply a Noise Gate plugin on your mic tracks, you could get rid of a faint whisper of noise in the silences, giving the production a cleaner, more open sound. This is a wistful, pretty song. The vocals are very gentle and quiet, almost to the point of feeling tentative. I don't think the church bell sound is necessary; it snaps us out of the imaginative space created by the lyrics into the present reality. I like the melody, but by the end it feels over-used, or maybe the song is a little long. The added orchestration and harmonies help a bit.

Phlebia -- Something in the mix is a little oppressive, maybe the compression, but it feels like a muddy buildup in the extreme low end. Later in the breakdowns it becomes clear: it's the distorted bass. Rolling off below about 60 to 100 Hz, preferably before adding compression, would be merciful, and would improve the clarity. Also, the vocals need more high end to come through. The zany guitar lick is fun; it reminds me of the theme for The IT Crowd (an excellent comedy, by the way, especially as its seasons progress). In the general blur of sound, with the constant open cymbals, there is no sense of event or place, and no breathing room, and the song becomes exhausting. Considered as an art experience, perhaps it's a different matter; the statement works very well, unfortunately to its own detriment.

Pigfarmer Jr. -- Boogie rock, but with a light staccato touch on the bass and minimal vocal effects creating a more open, personal feeling. Appropriately straightforward in its changes, with a pretty good hook, rocking guitar solo, powerful drums. It ends abruptly, and at that point it suddenly feels like there were no highlights in the song. A contrasting timbre might open up the possibilities for arrangement.

Shoehorn -- A charming, endearing, initimate, kitchen-party sound, which only gets better when the harmonies are added. The rhythm is a little ragged, but after the song settles in, this just adds to the jangly feeling. This song reaches out to me, maybe because I hear a lot of small-stage folk in the summer, or maybe because the vibe is so cheerful. The words come through clearly and the lyrics are entertaining. In my opinion, repeating "the taxi is gone" slows the momentum. I like the way it adds emphasis, but doing this only at the end might make the song feel tighter. Sorry, that's probably trespassing on your inspiration (is there a word for that?), but honestly I think it would improve the song.

Slither -- Brisk snare-driven popular rock, with guitar parts so cool they're wearing sunglasses, and a punchy, grooving bass with a hint of reggae influence (which shows up more conspicuously much later). The vocals in the verse, with their pitch-dropped endings, feel a little angst-y for the smooth confidence of the backing music; in the chorus, they fit much better, thanks in part to the harmonies and reverb treatments, but also to the comparative smoothness of the pitch throughout. In places, notably the guitar solo, this is the kind of song that might show up on a wedding mix tape, very feel-good and slow-danceable. I'm still listening at the end, if you're checking.

Third Cat -- Major-minor ambiguities throw some angles into a serene synthesizer landscape floating over a beatbox, punctuated by a well-designed bass line and effective guitar sweetenings. The vocals mix into the landscape like the wind, leaving the sound without focus.

Toshiro -- Driving punkish hard-rock sound onslaught, nice mix on the bass, psychedelic solo, well-judged length. An exciting listen. Seems loud next to other songs in the fight.

crumpart wrote: ↑

Mon Nov 18, 2019 2:38 pm

Hot Pink Halo:
I probably said enough about this earlier in the thread. It's full of very specific jokes and references to make me smile, and one of them is that it's in the key of E.

Bahahaha I LOVE IT. I'm so glad you explained a) the actual story behind the song and b) this joke.

(also, glad you liked my song, thank you!)

@Æpplês&vØdkã I was just looking at this thread and suddenly realized I think your song kind of made it into my dream the other night. The description I posted on Facebook:

"Last night I dreamed the world had been taken over by giant sentient lobster people. I was in the Resistance and was fleeing them. I ran into [friend] in a mall--she was working as a lobster fitness instructor. She helped me by sending me through a secret door in the wall.

Behind the wall, I found a plate of seafood and realized from the size of the claws that they were sentient lobsters, not regular ones, and I'd stumbled upon a secret restaurant where rich lobster people paid to eat poor lobster people. #latestagecapitalism"

I thought it was due to a combination of reading /r/nosleep stories and articles about Hong Kong before bedtime, but I just realized that probably the lobster people came from mishearing your song.

Hey, It took a while to get on the board. thanks to the mods/admins for helping me get on and for the assist getting my song up, as I sent the wrong format. ha.

Its been 10 years since my last submission. During my hiatus I was writing material for a few bands and projects and generally busy but in reality I'm just a cheapskate and when my old computer (which was donated to me) would not run ProTools anymore it took me a while to discover GarageBand on the old MAC downstairs and then it was off the the races. ha!! All the noises are real instruments from zero to end with no punches. I do this because it is great for my brain and I love the happy little accidents that happen when perfection is not an option.

Ten years ago I was writing tunes for SongFight that I ended up re-recording for records and in one case a SongFight became a character in a rock opera. I wrote some songs that I did not even submit. I came back for some inspiration and after listening to all your songs, and seeing the feedback, I am excited to learn things from this group.

As a new/old newbie I don't want to jump too far into the weeds just yet with the reviews but I found personal joy in all of the submissions. If I've learned anything in my musical career it is that I respect anyone who does this.
All art is art and no art is better or worse, more popular sure, but equally valuable.

seeya!!

thehipcola wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 16, 2019 7:07 am

Your voice reminds me of a band called The Odds. Cool. Sweet little pop song - I dig it.

1. Thank you!
2. Odds is one of my favorite bands.
3. I asked Craig Northey of Odds if he would pretty please sing and play on my song "Pencil Me In" when I re-recorded it for my "Throw Money" album and he DID! That's him singing harmony vocals, and lead vocals on the third verse. Plus, he's playing lead guitar on it. He e-mailed the parts to me. Still have never met him in person, but that was a "die happy" moment for me if there ever was one.

Glenn Case wins!

Yay! Go Glenn!