The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Brother Baker
- The shouting is not my thing.
- I do like the "At least now I know" backing vocals.
- The shouting hits a little better as the song becomes more of an epic.

Brown Word and the Big Whine
- Oh, I like it. The instrumentation grabs me immediately.
- The melody is nice, especially on lines like "a whiff of the arcane".
- I like the quiet break. Nice bit of space there.

Cloverdance
- The phrase "Why Scooby Doo mattered the way he would" sticks in my ear. Like my brain wants to correct it to "did" even though that wouldn't rhyme.
- The DNA stanza was necessary for me on the first time through, but not after about the third when I really listened to the first part. I think you could lose it or still keep it as a suggestion.
- I don't think I hear a bass? Is it there but just quiet?

Douche Puppy
- Very much not my thing. It's hard for me to get past this vocal style.
- Drums are well-recorded.
- Clearly, you've got a handle on this style.

Escapegoat
- Ha, interesting experiment.
- There is definitely a mysterious quality here. Maybe you could apply the effect to just the chorus or just one verse?
- I like that intro/outro instrumental ditty. This might be turning into a theme with your songs. I want more of that in the song.

Giraffes for Wings
- I have a soft spot for your voice I think.
- This is sort of a Mountain Goats-inspired thing, right? It's cool, and it makes me think I ought to give them another try.
- Yeah, this is great.

Glenn Case
- I'm a fan of Glenn getting weird.
- I would have liked an instrumental portion that explored the possibilities of the arrangement.
- It's a small thing, but having "scene" and "seen" feature prominently in a repeated line trips up my ear a bit. And then "seen" appears in the next line.

The Gross Tones
- I like the Unicorns-esque vocals.
- I want a beefier sound, especially in the drums.
- That chorus groove is great.

Hot Pink Halo
- Awesome full sound.
- I love mellotron-ish sounds.
- I think the bass line is well done.

IRC USM
- Well, fantastic production. And performance.
- The vocal line is interesting. Probably comes from the time signature?

Johnny Cashpoint
- Fun vibe.
- I'm sick of hearing about how Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and I can't tell if the singer of this song agrees.
- "In the football match of..." lyric is good.

miscellaneous owl
- I'm always a sucker for backwards shit.
- Probably the most natural lyrical use of the title.
- Would've been cool if the trippy ending (which is awesome) was of much better production quality than the tinny main song. Or not even better quality, but more enveloping in the stereo field with some bass tones thrown in.

Night Sky
- Ah, Night Sky's wild years.
- Good use of the title.

The Pannacotta Army
- Beautiful
- I'd love to watch a Song Fight Diaries episode with you. I hear so much work in this song, and every touch seems just right.
- I suppose I could complain that the lyrics are sort of banal love song fare, but they do the job and are elevated by the arrangement.

PANOPLY
- Good production and guitar playing.
- I can't get into this stuff at all. You should probably take that as a compliment.

Phlebia
- I like this sound a lot. Like certain eras of Liars.
- Your vocal delivery is ace.
- Lots of awesome guitar sounds.

Pigfarmer Jr
- Hmm, "a chain without a key" needs one more revision. You want to mention the chain, but my brain doesn't know where a key would even go.
- Vocals sound good.
- Cool hi-hat work.

Sumner Sloane
- Some roughness in the rhythm of the performance that has personality and energy but is occasionally distracting.
- Vocals sound pretty good.
- I like that lead guitar line.

Tim Hinkle
- Cool rhythm, I like that you didn't just go waltzing.
- I like the chunky sound of that guitar.
- Your vocal delivery makes a lot of odd lyrics work, but "the world did enwrap" might be a bridge too far.

Just some stuff while I listen... maybe not reviews so much as thoughts...

Edit: There is a f'ing Smiley Limit on posts? I'm trying to be nice to people here... how am I going to decide who gets to keep my smile and who doesn't? This is an outrage! Looks like I'm really just sticking my tongue out at people though... hopefully I've edited this post enough to go through now... damn.

add: I like the bass and the backing... vocals? synth? vocal pad? : P Would listen again.

Brother Baker: Always good to hear some more heavy stuff... Not sure I like the shouting vocals, but cool backing harmonies. Would listen again.

Brown Word and the Big Whine: I should probably read some of this thread to see if this has been mentioned yet, but I like that wind instrument... whatever it is... : P It reminds me of something... I like it. I like the separation in this mix... could this be my favorite BW&BW song? Would listen again.

Cloverdance: I must admit, I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics prior to this song... is this the first (of many possibly to come...) Scooby songs? Not sure if I want the bass to come up a bit, or if it's just because the whole song is too quiet... that makes me want more bass?

Douche Puppy: Lots of neat production candy to listen to. Reminds me of the early 2000's radio rock station that played all night while I worked second shift in the factory back then... not really my thing, but it sounds good.

Escapegoat: Lichen? LichenFX? So, is it weird that the song you release under a different name, to not be associated with... is my favorite song by you? I don't know, but it reminds me of some Pink Dots or something. I dig it. Would listen again.

Giraffes for Wings: G&G isn't my thing, but you sing confidently enough that it works for me here. Strumming is good too. Would listen again.

Glenn Case: Clean mix, I might use a little bit of a de-esser on the vox, they're nice and clear, but lots of the esses at the end of lines come through a bit too much. Nice bass. I don't know if I like the "organ" it makes me feel like I'm at a baseball game... personal thing, I guess...

The Gross Tones: Song structure/arrangement is good. I'm not sure I like the mix/tones here, but I like the police radio stuff... I think this would be a good track with a better mix, and a little more confidence in the vocal performance, it's not bad, but it's lacking a little in emotion for me. I like the lead guitars and the tone isn't bad there... Would listen again.

Hot Pink Halo: Was that a "real" bird? Just like the "real" bird from our track this week? : P I like that... twinkly pad (?) bit where you're saying "different things". Bass comes through nicely. I like the backing vocal harmonies... I admit I wasn't listening to the lyrics until you said "what grits are"... so maybe I should listen again...

IRC USM: No comment. Ca-caw!

Johnny Cashpoint: Snape is a good guy. I'm cool with no Santa and no Jesus, but you took it way too far with Nessie. I had to stop listening... j/k. Another Scooby Snack?

miscellaneous owl: I like the mix, forget what the other people say. I like the piano and your vocals, and especially the ending harmonies, and the backwards stuff is amazing... where is the extendo-version? Would listen again.

Night Sky: I guess this was the optional challenge... wait... wasn't this "next week's" challenge? Night Sky is psychic... that, my friends... is Another Mystery Solved. Is that a real "sax" (guessing here... assuming???) That was my favorite part.

The Pannacotta Army: Nice separation in the mix. Nice arrangement. I like that it evolves and I enjoy the dynamics. This wouldn't be something I'd probably typically listen to... seems too "nice" for me... but this is well done, so... Would listen again.

PANOPLY: Here is the metal! Is there bass in this? I like the... Slipknot(?) type vocal... with the mixed "talking" bits... not sure I like the "clean" chorus bit... I don't mind "clean" vocals in my metal... but something about the melody or delivery doesn't do the rest of the song justice for me. Mix is a bit muddy I think, maybe that's why I don't think there is any bass here? Maybe too much reverb too. It's cool though. Glad to hear some metal. Would listen again.

Phlebia: Good groove. Nice sounds/mix. Impressive bass guitar work here, and by that I mean, all the guitar sounds... Lots of interesting ear candy in this track. I'm getting some new "artist favorites" in this fight... this might be my new Phleb fav. Would listen again.

Pigfarmer Jr: Another track where I think with a bit different mix and tone it would be help. This is obviously a personal preference, the second lead guitar bit is more towards what I'm looking for. Good song though, I think I'd just look for a little more production work if I was your engineer. : P Would listen again.

Sumner Sloane: Sounds good. Reminds me of some G&R lies or something. I'd personally like a little more than the same drum loop over and over... (drums are my weak point so bricks and glass houses here... but...) That's the only thing I could improve upon. Would listen again.

Tim Hinkle: I prefer the verse parts. They sort of remind me of some of the odd bits in early Bowie albums (this is a good thing...) though I keep wanting something to... happen. I don't think I like the chorus (?) vocals... is it just turned up reverb? It makes it seem more bass-y and distant than the nice clean verse vocals. It's a production choice I wouldn't have made is all... I think I like the "main verse" parts, but I'd have used it as a "section" of a much grander song that would change quite a bit and progress... instead of just that "section" over and over.

Jefff wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 05, 2021 10:21 pm

Night Sky
- Ah, Night Sky's wild years.
- Good use of the title.

Haha, thanks, perfect characterization. I was actually listening to Nighthawks at the Diner (and wishing I could play like Pete Christlieb) when we did this, and no Chihuahuas were injured in the making of this song.

ujnhunter wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 07, 2021 10:28 am

Night Sky: I guess this was the optional challenge... wait... wasn't this "next week's" challenge? Night Sky is psychic... that, my friends... is Another Mystery Solved. Is that a real "sax" (guessing here... assuming???) That was my favorite part.

I know, right? I didn't even want to do a spoken delivery, but the title and the time signature challenge made me think film noir narration in a smoky nightclub, so there we are. Sax is my main instrument, so yeah, real sax (tenor), glad you liked it.

Thanks for the reviews everyone! The wind instrument in the Brown Word song is a real clarinet. I’m glad people have enjoyed it, I don’t practice as much as I should and record the instrument even less often

I still haven't totally decided on all my votes yet but have at least written some notes about everything!

add: This sounds like the theme song for a TV show I watched in a dream. I'm not sure why, but that's just how I feel. The vocals seem a little too loud to me and maybe a bit too harsh for the smooth-sounding instruments, particularly where your voice goes up in the chorus. I like the palette of sounds in the arrangement--the lead lines fit in really nicely and the harmonies and pad swells in the background are nice and full.

Brother Baker: The mix feels a little... smooth? overcompressed? to me, I wanted to hear more of a sense of space and rawness, like you're watching a live band and you know where everyone is standing. I love the shift into the chorus, that's a great chorus, and the dynamics with the dropout are cool. The songwriting is a little confounding to me... it has a rock opera kind of feel, like if you stripped away the distorted guitars it would be a really theatrical, melodic musical number, but if you're leaning into this instrumentation I want it to be more aggressive and less nerdy. Just my personal preference, either way is kind of a hard sell for me based on genre biases. I like the layering of the multiple vocal parts and you get a really big, epic sound going by the end. I'm not super sold on either lead vocal though; the more screamy vocal sounds a little strained, the less screamy vocal sounds a bit too polished, which I think again is leading me into that thinly disguised musical theater impression.

Brown Word and the Big Whine: I love the shambling waltz feel of this and the arrangement; it's quirky and interesting all the way through. I also really love your vocal rhythms, the way you phrase those second halves of the lines in the chorus is my favorite part of the song. I like the lyrics as well, "the roar of all creation/Cacophony of love" lines are especially cool. This was one of my favorites of this fight.

Cloverdance: The melody is nice, feels very familiar. Quite the twist there. I like the lyrics--pretty vivid and you get both plot + a feeling of nostalgia! The "DNA"/"sor-RY to say" rhyme and phrasing felt kind of awkward to me. I think the arrangement could use some work--the melody and instrumentation didn't really change up enough, so it got pretty boring to me by the end of the song and it ends very abruptly. The mix is also pretty muffled-sounding. I think a bit of extra tweaking to the arrangement and mix would take this to the next level.

Douche Puppy: Great pause between "cut" and "the tension" at the start there... I kind of wish you'd kept that drama going. This is well put together, I think you got to exactly what you were going for in terms of the production and arrangement. There are some misaligned backing vocals that kept jumping out at me (not the delay stuff, it just sounds kind of messy). The weedly wee guitar solo seems kind of unnecessary, I can see you can play pretty fast but it doesn't really do anything melodically--seems kind of like a first draft. I think this is competently written/performed/produced, but it's just not my thing genre-wise.

Escapegoat: That vocal effect is wild! I kind of like it, although I suppose it's probably a bit much to have that for the full length of the song... it is very odd and fascinating to listen to, I felt like I was listening to music from another planet. The lyrics have so much great detail and imagery, but I would have absolutely no idea what any of them were without reading your post in the lyrics thread. Musically, I think you'd be better served with a simpler, more conventional drum beat and turning up the drums in the mix a bit more. In the instrumental melodies, the notes tend to fall all on the beat and all with the same loudness in a big flurry--I think giving those riffs a bit more space, variation, and syncopation would make them feel more natural, if that is what you want to go for.

Giraffes for Wings: I like the driving guitar and the percussion; it's a catchy melody. Aside from the guitar, the phrasing of "what's going on with all these goddamn wires" also struck me as very Mountain Goats-y. Is this about Among Us? I've never played it but I'm guessing based on the blue and yellow and hull references. Well performed. I enjoyed it, it felt like a complete song and kept my interest despite the stripped-down arrangement.

Glenn Case: I love the griminess of this production. I kind of wish the vocals were a bit more processed to go along with the degraded feel of the beats and synths; it's crystal clear but with the end result that it kind of feels like it's floating on top. The piles of harmonies kind of remind me of Bone Thugs 'N' Harmony, which is a weird comparison, but I dunno, that's where my mind went. I love the detuned organ, what VST are you using there? I think the harmony on "another mystery solved" right at the end is a bit off for a second but it resolves quickly.

The Gross Tones: I like that surfy guitar, not so much into the fuzzy one, which seems like it steps all over everything else in the mix... Couldn't really get into the crunched glasses thing in the lyrics. The vocals seemed kind of off key at various points (particularly 1:35) and the sirens and synth seemed like they came in from a different song entirely; the whole sonic palette doesn't seem to fit together well to my ear. The instrumental dropouts in the arrangement are good, they add some nice dynamic variation. Much like my complaint about Douche Puppy, the guitar solo seems self-indulgent and like it's not really doing much for the song.

Hot Pink Halo: I like the bird whistling and the intro guitar. Once the verse vocals come in, the relentless quarter note strums feel kind of disappointing, kind of plodding instead of flowing. The general lo-fi indie-pop sound of the track is lovely. I like all the things in the lyrics you learned about from books--the "grits"/"polenta" line is pretty memorable. (I always thought grits were nixtamalized corn and polenta was not, but having just gone down a Wikipedia rabbithole I see that only "hominy grits" are nixtamalized. I think they are made of different types of corn, though, and are ground to different levels of fineness)

IRC USM: My favorite of this fight by far--this song is so heckin’ cool. Is it really just 3/4? Sounds more complicated. I particularly like the interplay of the guitar and drums. Also I am of course a sucker for the reverse stuff at the breakdown. The mix sounds really good. I’m back and forth on the crow noises, I like them in theory but I think maybe it’s just that I’m not totally sold on the falsetto... Oh and also I read a whole book about the Dyatlov Pass incident, which I’m assuming this is about, and it is one of my very favorite creepy mysteries, so I really like the lyrics.

Johnny Cashpoint: I do have a soft spot for any song that mentions David Icke. After your song and IRC USM’s right in a row, I wish I had taken advantage of the “mystery” in the title to bring in something weirder, content-wise. I like the instruments you’ve chosen, particularly the cheesy synths, although I think it might be generally a bit low for your vocal range so it sounds a bit flat, and I felt like the song as a whole kind of dragged. Maybe if it were a bit faster on the whole, or with more of a rhythmic and/or arrangement switchup?

miscellaneous owl: I mentioned in the prefight that I went at this song in a very roundabout way from how I usually approach writing (lead synth line first instead of vocals and/or chord progression/rhythm instrument first; and keyboard vs guitar) and I had a really hard time getting excited about working on it until I decided it would be fun for it to sound like a Victrola falling into the event horizon of a black hole and getting very slowly torn apart. Hence the decisions around making everything sound kind of degraded and fucked up… glad at least ujnhunter appreciated the general sound, as I knew going into this that burying the vocals and making the mix sound unclear was not going to be popular. I stretched myself a bit more than usual technically as far as the piano playing and the high operatic vocal under the ending, so while this wasn’t really my favorite song I’ve written, it was fun and felt good for my brain to actually perform and record it and put together the backwards ending part. p.s. no didgeridoo, I think that’s probably the fake strings patch.

Night Sky: Good saxophoning. Nice vocal delivery, although I found the vox and sax slightly too loud in the mix for my taste. The rest of the instruments felt like kind of an afterthought to me, like they were just there to keep time. I think you could have had a lot of fun playing around with more variations with the comping--the spoken word vocals kind of leave a blank canvas behind them musically so it was a good opportunity to help the song evolve and fill out more. Some of the words in the lyrics were a bit odd to me; the “cry” and “shriek” in particular sounded more ominous than heartwarming. I did not find this particularly sexy? Unless sax always makes a song automatically sexy. In which case get ready for the overwhelming sexiness of my “A 9/11 Every Day” saxophone comedy rap-rock number next week.

The Pannacotta Army: This has a really lovely warm and whimsical feel, like it could be straight off the Amélie soundtrack. I love the runs in the instrumental break, they go somewhere slightly unexpected that really pleases my brain. The mix sounds excellent. Not much to complain about aside from that it doesn’t take a lot of risks. No unforced errors, but also not much that sticks in my brain afterwards, I am not sure I’d particularly remember and come back to it multiple times even though I enjoy it a lot every time I listen. However it is very well written, performed, and produced, and I predict you’ll win this fight.

PANOPLY: Well, this is a change from pannacotta army’s track. I’m not a big metal fan, the vocals in particular tend to turn me off, so I’m not really your target audience, so I guess you can take this all with a grain of salt. The clean parts don’t work too well for me in this song; they just feel out of place rather than feeling like a natural respite. I like the idea of swinging back and forth between the busy and empty parts for dynamics, but the change just didn’t feel natural enough to me, there’s not enough carrying over to tie the two parts together. I think I would also have maybe liked more guitar theatrics... the overall feel is definitely right, but the riffs seemed kind of simplistic.

Phlebia: Can’t quite get into this song genre-wise on the whole, but I like the energy. This mix sounds cleaner than usual, particularly the vocals, which I think are in a great middle spot where you can make them out, but they still don’t sound sparkly clean or anything. My favorite part is the breakdown that starts around 1:50--the whispery tick tock vocals build up a lot of tension and I like the twangy string noises and chittery synths. I think the screaming vocals, particularly in the first half, are just not totally selling me, the screaming is maybe too situated just a bit too high in your range so it doesn’t quite seem aggressive enough, more agitated-but-unthreatening than unhinged-and-menacing.

Pigfarmer Jr: I like the chorus although the first half is catchier than the actual “mystery solved” part. That “just a friend” melody is nice and melancholy. Good storytelling. The verses felt kind of first draft-y to me--the verse melody wasn’t really as strong as the chorus, the rhyme scheme was puzzling (especially “blessed,” which I guess should rhyme with “best” but felt so far away from that line that it sounded like it was just floating by itself) and the “chain without a key” line struck me as odd. I think the guitar and vocals were a bit too loud, and the rhythm guitar might have worked better a bit cleaner. I thought the chorus drums in particular worked really well and I wanted to be able to hear them better! Nice vibrato on your voice on that last note.

Sumner Sloane: I like the main riff, the one that plays in the intro. This has a 60’s rock feel to me that kind of reminds me of the Kinks at times. The emphasis on the word “between” was awkward IMO and the transition into the bridge was a bit abrupt. I think this is generally pretty solid but could do with a bit more work on the arrangement and mix… the drums sounded kind of unnatural, that recurring cymbal crash in particular was pretty distracting to me, and aside from the recurring riff, the lead guitar was a bit too noodly and self-indulgent for me (maybe it would work better turned down a bit at the more noodly parts?) and I think the solo would have worked just as well at half the length.

Tim Hinkle: Vocals sound great--there are a few kind of textural catches like on “faith I had in you” that I’m not used to hearing from you that sound really good, and this has a lot of interesting, unexpected things happening with the scale/chord progression. Excellent and unexpected plot twist as well, although the song felt long to me so I do think it could have been edited a bit. I love the smooth tone of that solo synth coming in before the last verse. There were a few words I thought were awkwardly emphasized (“sud-DEN-ly,” “chim-NEY”) that jumped out at me as I was listening. I really liked the way you extend “to me” between lines in the chorus... I think it would have been easy to leave the lyric as “a surprise” with the lines the same length but adding those notes flowing across the lines makes it much more interesting to listen to.

owl wrote: ↑

Fri Jan 08, 2021 3:18 pm

I predict you’ll win this fight.

If I win this fight I’ll record a tuba and fuzz guitar instrumental for the next one

the panna cotta army wrote: ↑

Fri Jan 08, 2021 10:59 pm

owl wrote: ↑

Fri Jan 08, 2021 3:18 pm

I predict you’ll win this fight.

If I win this fight I’ll record a tuba and fuzz guitar instrumental for the next one

We're gonna hold you to that.

the panna cotta army wrote: ↑

Fri Jan 08, 2021 10:59 pm

owl wrote: ↑

Fri Jan 08, 2021 3:18 pm

I predict you’ll win this fight.

If I win this fight I’ll record a tuba and fuzz guitar instrumental for the next one

Yes please

add - I really like this. Really great keyboard sounds. Nice catchy tune and entirely pleasant to listen to.

Brother Baker - Harmonies on the backing vocals sound really good. I'm not entirely sure what this is about. How many teeth should a plan have? Really swept up in the epic feel of it all, though.

Brown Word and the Big Whine - The clarinet sounds great. The movement between the various sections is compelling.

Cloverdance - The chorus melody doesn't work for me, I think I'd like a bit more movement and variety there. The rest of this works pretty well for me, though.

Douche Puppy - I like the sound of your drums and bass. EQ-ing (or something) on the vocal doesn't appeal to me. The chorus seems solid, the rest of the song isn't really engaging me. Not really my kind of thing, I think.

Escapegoat - I don't hate this. It just kind of washed over me, though. With all the effects it feels mostly like a sort of white noise.

Giraffes for Wings - I couldn't follow the narrative. (I see now you've posted it's about Among Us. I would not have figured that out. Even though my kids are talking to me about Among Us all the time. Guess that means I'm old.) Liked this, though. Solid guitar playing. Singing sounds a little strained, occasionally.

Glenn Case - I like the drum loop. I like the organ. I like the general sound of this. And I think I may like the song. But I'm not sure they go together. I think I want to hear this basic arrangement applied to a different song and then this song played somehow differently (not sure exactly how but I think a bit faster). Somehow suspect that doesn't qualify as helpful criticism...

The Gross Tones - I would like to hear a better quality mp3. There seems to have been some effort put into production as there are sound effects, etc., but it's all smothered by the 64kbps data compression. It's a reasonably catchy tune.

Hot Pink Halo - I was surprised when this didn't start out in 3/4 as I thought surely you'd be in on a 3/4 challenge. But then it does a section in 3/4. And the whole song is lovely. I like the repeated words.

IRC USM - This sounds great. It's very 90s prog. If I'm not supposed to laugh when the bird calls start, then I missed the point, but either way I really enjoyed this.

Johnny Cashpoint - I love "truth be told a truth has been told." The backing vocals are really effective. I didn't care for this much the first time through, but it quite tickled me on 2nd listen.

Phlebia - I like the skittery percussion sounds a lot. All the sounds feel like they fit together exactly right for the type of song this is. Particular like the "tick tock" section.

miscellaneous owl - Ghosts. Waltzing ghosts. Oh my god, then it goes backwards. Rewinding ghosts. (They have to do that so they can run through their paces again the next night.) I love this. This is my favorite of the fight.

Night Sky - Pretty solid saxophone. I don't think the lyrics are compelling enough to survive the spoken word treatment.

PANOPLY - This is actually fairly pleasing, melodically, despite being such a heavy piece. I have no idea whatsoever what the growly voice is saying - I can't make out a single word (I maybe caught two on the 2nd time through). I'll have to have a look in the lyrics archive and see if you've posted there. OK, yes you have. Hmmm, knowing what the words are neither increases nor diminishes my enjoyment.

The Pannacotta Army - Really nice. Pretty melody. The drums/percussion are great and keep the energy up.

Pigfarmer Jr - I really like the melody throughout this, from the vocals and the guitar parts. I find the lyrics a bit off-putting, somehow. I don't think I can fully get behind a cheating song in which the narrator is happy and has ostensibly moved on (because if he has moved on, why is he still going on about it).

Sumner Sloane - I quite like this. It's catchy and bops along. Nice guitar work. Lyrics seem a bit obvious as response to the title prompt but I don't think that really hurts this much.

Tim Hinkle [me] - I'm really pleased with the melody of this. Not entirely sure where the narrative came from. Not sure why so many people mentioned the Beatles in their reviews, I'm not sure I hear that. Don't mind being compared to the Beatles, though.

Pigfarmer Jr wrote: ↑

Sun Jan 03, 2021 6:19 am

How did you nail a Jethro Tull shape to your melody? You even have a slight feel of Ian Anderson's vocal phrasing.

I think I am a big enough Tull fan that Ian Anderson's delivery is at least a slight influence on everything I sing, whether I mean it to be or not. On reflection, my song reminds me a bit of "Move on Alone" from the first Tull album, but that was one of Mick Abrahms's songs.

Jefff wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 05, 2021 10:21 pm

- Your vocal delivery makes a lot of odd lyrics work, but "the world did enwrap" might be a bridge too far.

Agreed, that's not the best line.

ujnhunter wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 07, 2021 10:28 am

I don't think I like the chorus (?) vocals... is it just turned up reverb? It makes it seem more bass-y and distant than the nice clean verse vocals. It's a production choice I wouldn't have made is all...

On the chorus vocal, I duplicated the track, panned the duplicate to the right, and pushed it forward a few milliseconds.

neutronflow wrote: ↑

Sat Jan 09, 2021 11:06 am

Pigfarmer Jr - I don't think I can fully get behind a cheating song in which the narrator is happy and has ostensibly moved on (because if he has moved on, why is he still going on about it).

It's supposed to be a "Bless the broken road" perspective that if they hadn't broken up the singer wouldn't be as happy now. Admittedly, this is a first draft lyric that could use some work.

neutronflow wrote: ↑

Sat Jan 09, 2021 11:06 am

Hot Pink Halo - I was surprised when this didn't start out in 3/4 as I thought surely you'd be in on a 3/4 challenge. But then it does a section in 3/4. And the whole song is lovely. I like the repeated words.

Ha! 3/4 is my natural go to, and I've done so many in it at this point that I thought I should challenge myself by doing a change. Originally it was going to be 3/4 going to 4/4, but decided to flip that so that the bridge would stand out more. Although this song is nothing like it, I've been listening to Take Me To Church by Hozier a lot recently, which is masterful in the timing change department.

The verses and chorus are about the Trixie Belden series of teen detective mystery novels written for the YA genre long before YA was a thing, and the bridge references a different book about a girl accused of a crime, Where The Crawdads Sing, so changing the timing for it felt appropriate.

Haven't done reviews in awhile, might be a little rusty and maybe not particularly helpful, but it's what I had going.

Glenn Case - I was expecting something much different when this started. Then what happened sort of reminded me of Jackson Browne but the organ came in and changed it all up again. It all didn't really fit together for me however.

Johnny Cashpoint - The monk-like chanting isn't something often heard in Song Fight, which was something I didn't realize needed remediation till now.

Sumner Sloane - Nice rocking start to this, good-sounding vox, good use of dynamics/building energy. I like the lead guitar quite a bit, and nice hook.

Cloverdance - This seemed mixed low. Otherwise, it sounded alright. The cymbal is a little overbearing in certain parts. I liked that it had pep in its step and mentioned Scooby Doo.

Hot Pink Halo - This mix is much fuller/less atmospheric than I usually hear from you. I enjoy this bold sound though the ethereal shows itself a bit here and is always welcome.

Giraffes for Wings - Nice spare mix. The guitar is bold and committed, percussive. Good energy here.

Tim Hinkle - Starting off with 3/4 and neat chord changes on a cool-sounding synth. Is this song about someone being seduced by Santa Clause?

Brown Word and the Big Whine - I definitely wanted to go the whimsical route with this and by the reviews it sounds like I succeeded. I did dust off clarinet for this one and also ukulele and mandolin and recorded the guitar simultaneously plugged in and mic'ed as I wanted a string band sound. I hoped the lyrics were vague enough that part of it could be about either the eucharist or psychedelics, either of which (hopefully) lend themselves to an exploration of thought on the vastness of creation and existence beyond the mortal physique.

Escapegoat - I like the name Escapegoat. Now this is weird (which I appreciate).

The Pannacotta Army - This hits the 3/4 whimsy nicely. You always have such charming tunes. I like the unobtrusive yet varied percussion and the little under melodies. The breakdown is particularly whimsical and lovely.

Brother Baker - Nice big guitar intro - bonus. I'm always a fan of dual vocals. I like how this opens up and becomes epic with a lot of backing vocals underneath the lead vox. Pretty cool!

Douche Puppy - The backing vox sound cool when they come in. I'll admit when I saw this song was 4 minutes I balked a bit. But this is pretty hard rock and cool. I like it!

Gross Tones - This is interesting and multi-textural. Guitars are okay, but vox seem non-committal in places.

add - I really like the dual vox. The verse has a cool cadence, I wish the chorus was a little more grabby, to go with it, but it's not bad either. The breakdown was really neat, specifically the way the guitar twinkled over the pads.

Pigfarmer Jr. - Great guitar tones! The subject matter of this song sounds unfortunate but seems to have resolved more happily. Seems to even turn more happy-sounding, I like that change of mood.

IRC USM - Really nice guitar work on this, tone and technicality. Tool-y sounding bass, cool. The drums sound good. Your voice is like a regular-register Geddy Lee. The caw-ing adds even more goodness. Yeah, I really dig this.

Phlebia - More Grey's! I like these graphic vox, they leave nothing to the imagination. The chaotic sounding music and sound-effects add to the craziness. The tick tock part does a great job of buildling tension.

Night Sky - Super cool sounding organ. Love the vocal delivery and complimentary sax. And the story is about Santa! Nifty tune. That sparkly sound at the end was the perfect magic touch.

PANOPLY - You bring the heavy to the fight and I like it. Excellent dual guitars. Some interesting vocal work here, I do appreciate the range of styles employed but expecially the main growl.

miscellaneous owl - the detuned intro sounds like from an old movie. Your voice adds an air of mystery to an overall mysterious tune. Great use of 3/4. In fact great application of the theme of mystery and the optional challenge. Beautiful vocal harmony before the awesome backwards breakdown.

ujnhunter wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 07, 2021 10:28 am

Hot Pink Halo: Was that a "real" bird? Just like the "real" bird from our track this week? : P I like that... twinkly pad (?) bit where you're saying "different things". Bass comes through nicely. I like the backing vocal harmonies... I admit I wasn't listening to the lyrics until you said "what grits are"... so maybe I should listen again...

I just had a look at my logic file because I couldn't quite remember what I'd used and where. The "twinkly pad" at "different things" is the fake Logic Studio Violins. The whistle is a Bob White Quail. It's a sample I grabbed from the internet, so I'm not sure if it's a real bird or someone imitating the call, but I'm not good at whistling so it seemed like the best option. In the Trixie Belden teen detective books I was referencing, the teen detectives call themselves the Bob Whites. In the first book Jim is a runaway (from an abusive stepfather) who's hiding at his miser great-uncle's dilapidated mansion (the great-uncle in question had just been sent to hospital before Jim arrived), and Trixie and Honey find him there when they're snooping around. Jim, Trixie and Honey become friends, and he teaches them the Bob White call so that he knows it's safe to come out of his hiding place.

Douche Puppy squeaked out the win. Congrats!

Well, shucks. Douche Puppy is me and Rob (Hip Cola) plus our friend Dane (who's in Ill Cricket Crew over the years).

This was a fun song to make, but yea — completely stuck in the 90s and not something I'd really ever sit down to groove to. We were completely on board with all the "genre bias/not my thing" reviews.

Thanks!

Well, I enjoyed it. Congratz on not being nearly as douchey as your moniker implies. Also on the win.

rkennett wrote: ↑

Wed Dec 30, 2020 1:21 pm

Good rock song. I miss some of the guitar when the vocals get loud. I would have put a noise-gate or cleaned up editing on the guitar tracks because of the noise when it drops out.

The noisy guitars were laziness in that I noticed them, but justified them by wanting to sound "punk." I think I'm overcompressing my mixes?

Pigfarmer Jr wrote: ↑

Sun Jan 03, 2021 6:19 am

I like this song. But the chorus seems over muddy. I don't really buy into the too much going on, but maybe it could use some clean up EQ wise. It's a bit better on the second go around, though. Maybe my ears are tired. *shrug* All that to say, I did like the song and listened multiple times.

I'm going to be spending some time figuring out how to balance a ton of vocals in a mix, I think. The EQ work does need to be a lot more refined and a lot less reliant on presets, as they are now.

ujnhunter wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 07, 2021 10:28 am

Always good to hear some more heavy stuff... Not sure I like the shouting vocals, but cool backing harmonies. Would listen again.

I do think we've gotten the shouting out of our systems, now.

owl wrote: ↑

Fri Jan 08, 2021 3:18 pm

The mix feels a little... smooth? overcompressed? to me, I wanted to hear more of a sense of space and rawness, like you're watching a live band and you know where everyone is standing. I love the shift into the chorus, that's a great chorus, and the dynamics with the dropout are cool. The songwriting is a little confounding to me... it has a rock opera kind of feel, like if you stripped away the distorted guitars it would be a really theatrical, melodic musical number, but if you're leaning into this instrumentation I want it to be more aggressive and less nerdy. Just my personal preference, either way is kind of a hard sell for me based on genre biases. I like the layering of the multiple vocal parts and you get a really big, epic sound going by the end. I'm not super sold on either lead vocal though; the more screamy vocal sounds a little strained, the less screamy vocal sounds a bit too polished, which I think again is leading me into that thinly disguised musical theater impression.

Probably overcompressed, right? I know what you're saying and I couldn't quite pinpoint it either. I definitely bring the musical theatrics to the table in our songwriting, and I need to find a way to make it work. The finished genre this week felt a little off, but we both do love our heavy bass, guitars, and drums. Dense vocal harmony is something I want to keep leaning into, but we're gonna spend some time exploring our sound alongside that. I did the clean vocals and some chorus shouting. It's been some years since I've sung seriously, so I look forward to more critiques from you as I find and develop my voice.

neutronflow wrote: ↑

Sat Jan 09, 2021 11:06 am

Harmonies on the backing vocals sound really good. I'm not entirely sure what this is about. How many teeth should a plan have? Really swept up in the epic feel of it all, though.

I wrote about being too trusting and bitter about being slighted last year by someone I considered a friend. I thought it ended up sounding too much like it was about hooking. My brother's fiance thought it was about the movie "Teeth."

Smalltown Mike wrote: ↑

Sun Jan 10, 2021 2:12 pm

Well, shucks. Douche Puppy is me and Rob (Hip Cola) plus our friend Dane (who's in Ill Cricket Crew over the years).

This was a fun song to make, but yea — completely stuck in the 90s and not something I'd really ever sit down to groove to. We were completely on board with all the "genre bias/not my thing" reviews.

Thanks!

Congratulations! I dug it!

Congrats Douche Puppy! I guess we’ll have to wait till some other week to hear pannacotta army’s tuba fuzz guitar instrumental

Damn, I’ve really got to start doing reviews straight away rather than thinking “I’ll listen again tomorrow and do them then”, because that strategy really isn’t working for me. I did get a lot of work done this week though, so there’s that at least.

Anyway, congrats Douche Puppy!

owl wrote: ↑

Fri Jan 08, 2021 3:18 pm

miscellaneous owl: I mentioned in the prefight that I went at this song in a very roundabout way from how I usually approach writing (lead synth line first instead of vocals and/or chord progression/rhythm instrument first; and keyboard vs guitar) and I had a really hard time getting excited about working on it until I decided it would be fun for it to sound like a Victrola falling into the event horizon of a black hole and getting very slowly torn apart. Hence the decisions around making everything sound kind of degraded and fucked up… glad at least ujnhunter appreciated the general sound, as I knew going into this that burying the vocals and making the mix sound unclear was not going to be popular. I stretched myself a bit more than usual technically as far as the piano playing and the high operatic vocal under the ending, so while this wasn’t really my favorite song I’ve written, it was fun and felt good for my brain to actually perform and record it and put together the backwards ending part. p.s. no didgeridoo, I think that’s probably the fake strings patch.

Yours is probably the only song where I’d thought of anything to add to a review that hasn’t already been said by someone else. I don’t think the vocals were particularly unclear, and I had no trouble personally making out what you were singing. When I listened to the song the image that came to mind was the scene from The Lion King in the elephant graveyard; your vocals sounded like they were living inside a cage of bones, which I enjoyed. I would have liked to hear other sound frequencies (especially bass) in the mix, as everything did have the vibe of living in the same spot sonically.

The other slight tweak I’d make is that the moment of change in the song feels like a really definite conclusion to me, and every time I listened I was discombobulated right there because I thought the song was ending. This could be worked around by making the final chords in the first section a bit more open and inconclusive perhaps, so that it leads into the next section more naturally.