Re: The Doomsday clock says we're (One Minute Closer reviews)
Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2022 5:14 pm
One Minute Closer reviews
In order to make myself actually finish reviews, I’ve decided to compress my thoughts to one thing I like about each song and one thing for suggested improvement. Let’s see how this goes.
Brown Word and the Big Whine:
Like: you’re going for a weird, dark vibe here, and I love that about this song. The riff is nicely E Phrygian, which always sounds kind of evil, good choice fitting this lyric to that.
Improve: The main thing here is that the mix balance is off, which you’ve probably guessed, but I would say it’s mostly because the drums are way out of balance with everything else. Partially it’s the genre, but also because so much of a groove’s energy comes from the drums, that having them so far back in the mix drains the song of power. I think you have to have a great snare sound and a powerful but not overwhelming kick at least, and it would make a huge difference.
Berkeley Social Scene:
Like: All the layers and the arrangement are beautiful, but especially those guitar tones are luscious, especially the arpeggios in the chorus
Improve: for my taste, the lyric is a little “just there”, not the vocal performance, which is fine, but the lyric kind of lacks energy. Like it’s not even that I don’t believe you, it’s that I think it should be more incisive and cutting, like I think this lyric is pulling its punches. I think some of that is from the choice to go with “we” and with the way that every couplet is kind of going for a different type of imagery.
Lichen Throat:
Like: I like a lot of the little riffs, the main riff and the one that ends each cycle and signals a new one coming in particular are great ideas.
Improve: A lot of the first half of lines are starting on the beat, but then as soon as you take a breath, the vocal performance goes off the beat and then you don’t catch up. Watch the specific timing on your breathing so that you can perform your vocals in the grid consistently. Or just do what all kinds of people have done, and punch in each line individually (you would be surprised how often this is done on pro recordings).
Night Sky:
Like: the verse melody is nicely catchy; I can still hum it even though I’m writing this a few minutes after listening. For some reason, it reminds me of that “we’re sensitive hair metal guys” song from Skid Row, I don’t remember the name of it—which is neither here nor there as comment on the song. Just, strong sense of melody.
Improve: My main thing here is the guitar playing. It’s a pretty simple, chord part, but when you’re doing that sort of thing, and it’s the main propulsion to the song, you need to be tight to the rhythm all the way through. This particular performance is quite loose, and especially in key moments and section transitions, the imprecision of the pocket makes the overall effect of the song less powerful. This is true with both strum pattern and the single note lines.
Rone:
Like: This entry, I do not deign to call it a song, is just forcing us have to listen to you jerk off in this mumbling, atonal, miserably grooveless, mechanically repetitive monument to how much you like to waste our time.
Other than that, not bad.
Prill Phuner:
Like: The opening groove is cool, the little hiccup at 3& in the beat is cool. I kind of like that drum machine sound and the synth tones, while a little boring, work too.
Improve: Vocals. First, gotta practice so you can get a little more power/energy in the vocal, which also will help with the intonation issues that are omnipresent. Second, don’t bury your voice in that much reverb, it also kills all the power and force of the vocal. Like, I used to do that too because I hate the sound of my voice, but it actually just makes everything into a smeary mess rather than actually helping. My solution was to get other people to sing, YMMV.
Gil Sans:
Like: Great vibe and energy, indie rock for days. That chorus is pretty cool too, I especially like the “waiting” bits that go, what is it, E to C#? Really nice.
Improve: No notes. I mean, sure, intonation, the guitar tone is a little harsh, but I mean, this song just oozes cool, wouldn’t change a thing.
WreckdoM:
Like: I love the moody vibe, all the sounds are cool.
Improve: ok I gotta break my rule to note the two things. First, the mix is out of whack to me; that bass synth is just so loud it really breaks my involvement in the song. I like the sound and I like what it’s doing though. Second, again, your singing voice needs exercising; you’re losing intonation, and way earlier than you should. If you worked on that a little bit (and it happens faster than you think, if you keep it up) I believe you’d really kill with this song.
The Mellfire Trifecta:
Like: I especially liked the bridge “fall out, then crawl back”, that line is fire and really nicely changes pace. Unfortunately for me the song material describes me as one of the people in a relationship that is torture for the third housemate, so on behalf of myself and all the other people who are bad at relationships, I apologize.
Improve: Prosody. Too many lines fall out of the metrical scheme and it’s really distracting. Some of that can be fixed by working with the performance to find a more “in the pocket” way of phrasing/delivering the lines, but some lines you’ll probably find just would be better rewritten. Secondly, this arrangement is a little staid, it probably needs to start out less full and build in instrumentation.
Moody Vermin:
Like: Evermind
Improve: mo
Paco del Stinko:
Like: I love this, would totally fit into the Repo Man soundtrack. Very complete statement in under 1 minute.
Improve: No notes, again, sets out to do something, nails it.
Duck + Cover:
Like: Jeff Fal
Improve: mo
gizo + adadadadadadadadadad:
Like: Great feel, love the rise on “up”, the vocal performance all around rocks, one of the better actual deliveries and usages of the title in this fight.
Improve: I mean, no notes really. I could probably compare notes with you on the compression you used, but really, I’m not complaining about it. I’m not super into the line “keeps me in place”, that line feels like it could be punched up somehow with imagery that’s a bit more stimulating, but that’s about it.
Phlub:
Like: You’ve gotten really good at using these tunings and finding compelling sounds with them, It’s a very cool atmosphere with cool harmonic ear candy. I especially like the breakdown section from like :51 to 1:40 or so
Improve: write some lyrics or put a melody line on it, finish it as a song. It doesn’t feel complete as an instrumental to me.
Sumner Sloane:
Like: I think the overall song is a nice little ditty; I assume it’s dirty, but hey, that’s just the way my mind works. Pretty standard song structure, but it all works.
Improve: Ok dude you’ve done enough Songfights that I think you can invest in some gear, better software, whatever it takes to up that production game. There is so much free/cheap stuff out there that you can definitely up your game. And fix that fucking tambo, it drove me batty like listening to people clap on 1 and 3.
Gray:
Like: I like that this is a genre I haven’t heard on Songfight recently. I like the concept of the outro (although that note on “runnin’” is very ouch).
Improve: As a song, I think this is more like a draft or an early demo. The melody is a little bit too straight standard for me, mixed with the standard chord progression, not particularly captivating. And I like quite a lot of genre music, but in this case, I would say push it to find tweaks to make that melody a little more unique. And I can’t resist noting that you’ll want to look into the mixing, almost every layer in this sounds to me like it exists in a different space, not like it’s an actual performance happening in the same room—a lot of that can be created through the use of compressor busses and reverb busses, worth looking into.
Pigfarmer Jr.:
Like: Nice song that grooves in the pocket, good build to the chorus and the IV to iv move. You’ve improved the phrasing of your vocals too, don’t think I don’t notice, much more in the grid.
Improve: I think the last couple choruses need to be a bit bigger. I would do it with backing vocals and maybe strings or some other kind of pad maybe, lots of options for you to choose from really. I’m personally not that into songs that are kind of blaming someone else for something that don’t examine the other side, but YMMV, it’s certainly not against the genre conventions.
Sly Eli ft Amanda:
Like: The song is a cool idea musically, especially the call and response chorus, which has a nice build to it.
Improve: the mix is a bit unbalanced, but mostly what I notice is that I don’t really feel anything about the song—like I have feelings about cute little kids and whatnot, but I have no idea what the song is about or what’s going on really, so it feels unfinished to me. I think it could be awesome to hear a fully developed version of this.
Thanks everyone for your songs and your reviews!
In order to make myself actually finish reviews, I’ve decided to compress my thoughts to one thing I like about each song and one thing for suggested improvement. Let’s see how this goes.
Brown Word and the Big Whine:
Like: you’re going for a weird, dark vibe here, and I love that about this song. The riff is nicely E Phrygian, which always sounds kind of evil, good choice fitting this lyric to that.
Improve: The main thing here is that the mix balance is off, which you’ve probably guessed, but I would say it’s mostly because the drums are way out of balance with everything else. Partially it’s the genre, but also because so much of a groove’s energy comes from the drums, that having them so far back in the mix drains the song of power. I think you have to have a great snare sound and a powerful but not overwhelming kick at least, and it would make a huge difference.
Berkeley Social Scene:
Like: All the layers and the arrangement are beautiful, but especially those guitar tones are luscious, especially the arpeggios in the chorus
Improve: for my taste, the lyric is a little “just there”, not the vocal performance, which is fine, but the lyric kind of lacks energy. Like it’s not even that I don’t believe you, it’s that I think it should be more incisive and cutting, like I think this lyric is pulling its punches. I think some of that is from the choice to go with “we” and with the way that every couplet is kind of going for a different type of imagery.
Lichen Throat:
Like: I like a lot of the little riffs, the main riff and the one that ends each cycle and signals a new one coming in particular are great ideas.
Improve: A lot of the first half of lines are starting on the beat, but then as soon as you take a breath, the vocal performance goes off the beat and then you don’t catch up. Watch the specific timing on your breathing so that you can perform your vocals in the grid consistently. Or just do what all kinds of people have done, and punch in each line individually (you would be surprised how often this is done on pro recordings).
Night Sky:
Like: the verse melody is nicely catchy; I can still hum it even though I’m writing this a few minutes after listening. For some reason, it reminds me of that “we’re sensitive hair metal guys” song from Skid Row, I don’t remember the name of it—which is neither here nor there as comment on the song. Just, strong sense of melody.
Improve: My main thing here is the guitar playing. It’s a pretty simple, chord part, but when you’re doing that sort of thing, and it’s the main propulsion to the song, you need to be tight to the rhythm all the way through. This particular performance is quite loose, and especially in key moments and section transitions, the imprecision of the pocket makes the overall effect of the song less powerful. This is true with both strum pattern and the single note lines.
Rone:
Like: This entry, I do not deign to call it a song, is just forcing us have to listen to you jerk off in this mumbling, atonal, miserably grooveless, mechanically repetitive monument to how much you like to waste our time.
Other than that, not bad.
Prill Phuner:
Like: The opening groove is cool, the little hiccup at 3& in the beat is cool. I kind of like that drum machine sound and the synth tones, while a little boring, work too.
Improve: Vocals. First, gotta practice so you can get a little more power/energy in the vocal, which also will help with the intonation issues that are omnipresent. Second, don’t bury your voice in that much reverb, it also kills all the power and force of the vocal. Like, I used to do that too because I hate the sound of my voice, but it actually just makes everything into a smeary mess rather than actually helping. My solution was to get other people to sing, YMMV.
Gil Sans:
Like: Great vibe and energy, indie rock for days. That chorus is pretty cool too, I especially like the “waiting” bits that go, what is it, E to C#? Really nice.
Improve: No notes. I mean, sure, intonation, the guitar tone is a little harsh, but I mean, this song just oozes cool, wouldn’t change a thing.
WreckdoM:
Like: I love the moody vibe, all the sounds are cool.
Improve: ok I gotta break my rule to note the two things. First, the mix is out of whack to me; that bass synth is just so loud it really breaks my involvement in the song. I like the sound and I like what it’s doing though. Second, again, your singing voice needs exercising; you’re losing intonation, and way earlier than you should. If you worked on that a little bit (and it happens faster than you think, if you keep it up) I believe you’d really kill with this song.
The Mellfire Trifecta:
Like: I especially liked the bridge “fall out, then crawl back”, that line is fire and really nicely changes pace. Unfortunately for me the song material describes me as one of the people in a relationship that is torture for the third housemate, so on behalf of myself and all the other people who are bad at relationships, I apologize.
Improve: Prosody. Too many lines fall out of the metrical scheme and it’s really distracting. Some of that can be fixed by working with the performance to find a more “in the pocket” way of phrasing/delivering the lines, but some lines you’ll probably find just would be better rewritten. Secondly, this arrangement is a little staid, it probably needs to start out less full and build in instrumentation.
Moody Vermin:
Like: Evermind
Improve: mo
Paco del Stinko:
Like: I love this, would totally fit into the Repo Man soundtrack. Very complete statement in under 1 minute.
Improve: No notes, again, sets out to do something, nails it.
Duck + Cover:
Like: Jeff Fal
Improve: mo
gizo + adadadadadadadadadad:
Like: Great feel, love the rise on “up”, the vocal performance all around rocks, one of the better actual deliveries and usages of the title in this fight.
Improve: I mean, no notes really. I could probably compare notes with you on the compression you used, but really, I’m not complaining about it. I’m not super into the line “keeps me in place”, that line feels like it could be punched up somehow with imagery that’s a bit more stimulating, but that’s about it.
Phlub:
Like: You’ve gotten really good at using these tunings and finding compelling sounds with them, It’s a very cool atmosphere with cool harmonic ear candy. I especially like the breakdown section from like :51 to 1:40 or so
Improve: write some lyrics or put a melody line on it, finish it as a song. It doesn’t feel complete as an instrumental to me.
Sumner Sloane:
Like: I think the overall song is a nice little ditty; I assume it’s dirty, but hey, that’s just the way my mind works. Pretty standard song structure, but it all works.
Improve: Ok dude you’ve done enough Songfights that I think you can invest in some gear, better software, whatever it takes to up that production game. There is so much free/cheap stuff out there that you can definitely up your game. And fix that fucking tambo, it drove me batty like listening to people clap on 1 and 3.
Gray:
Like: I like that this is a genre I haven’t heard on Songfight recently. I like the concept of the outro (although that note on “runnin’” is very ouch).
Improve: As a song, I think this is more like a draft or an early demo. The melody is a little bit too straight standard for me, mixed with the standard chord progression, not particularly captivating. And I like quite a lot of genre music, but in this case, I would say push it to find tweaks to make that melody a little more unique. And I can’t resist noting that you’ll want to look into the mixing, almost every layer in this sounds to me like it exists in a different space, not like it’s an actual performance happening in the same room—a lot of that can be created through the use of compressor busses and reverb busses, worth looking into.
Pigfarmer Jr.:
Like: Nice song that grooves in the pocket, good build to the chorus and the IV to iv move. You’ve improved the phrasing of your vocals too, don’t think I don’t notice, much more in the grid.
Improve: I think the last couple choruses need to be a bit bigger. I would do it with backing vocals and maybe strings or some other kind of pad maybe, lots of options for you to choose from really. I’m personally not that into songs that are kind of blaming someone else for something that don’t examine the other side, but YMMV, it’s certainly not against the genre conventions.
Sly Eli ft Amanda:
Like: The song is a cool idea musically, especially the call and response chorus, which has a nice build to it.
Improve: the mix is a bit unbalanced, but mostly what I notice is that I don’t really feel anything about the song—like I have feelings about cute little kids and whatnot, but I have no idea what the song is about or what’s going on really, so it feels unfinished to me. I think it could be awesome to hear a fully developed version of this.
Thanks everyone for your songs and your reviews!