The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Lunkhead wrote: ↑

Sun May 19, 2024 12:28 am

I typo'ed the title as "For" when making the lyric thread, even though in the lyrics I was posting we had the correct "to". I didn't notice I had till Pete's post. I edited it to fix it. My bad!

Quite a dirty tactic!

grumpymike wrote: ↑

Sun May 19, 2024 3:28 pm

Lunkhead wrote: ↑

Sun May 19, 2024 12:28 am

I typo'ed the title as "For" when making the lyric thread, even though in the lyrics I was posting we had the correct "to". I didn't notice I had till Pete's post. I edited it to fix it. My bad!

Quite a dirty tactic!

I refer you to Hanlon's Razor.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon%27s_razor

Did Max just disqualify himself? I just noticed there was No File and then thought, oh right... Immunity. However, isn't there No Immunity in Round 0?

ujnhunter wrote: ↑

Sun May 19, 2024 9:10 pm

Did Max just disqualify himself? I just noticed there was No File and then thought, oh right... Immunity. However, isn't there No Immunity in Round 0?

Maybe he’s the Iranian president.

Lunkhead wrote: ↑

Sun May 19, 2024 7:49 pm

I refer you to Hanlon's Razor.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon%27s_razor

Okay.

That's what it looks like. I would hate to eliminate someone on a misunderstanding but that may be the case. I hope it isn't.

Nur Ein 19 Round 1 Monday 5/20 9pm EST (I have a meeting tonight, so it's possible we may be a little delayed)
'Is This A Joke To You?'


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9GXq1I6zCI

Wow, I didn't see that coming. I was just telling my friend Zack the other day that I predicted Max winning the whole thing.

Vom vorton - the little blippy thing makes me smile and the lyrics do too. The working of the joke into the lyrics was very smooth. Ending is a little abrupt.
Ujn - wow, this is heavy. The lyrics are really good, really evocative. Maybe i’m dense but i don’t get the joke? But i like this a lot anyway.
Bitter - love the arpeggios. Man i love this music. Vocals are good too.
Friends - hmm missing lyrics… i do like the guitars and vocal sounds working together. But some of the lyrics i can’t really tell what you’re saying. “This guy”? “The sky”? I know you can post lyrics since i saw them last round.
Starf - wow that organ sound is way cool. Agency haha. Love the emphasis on the title line. The music here is nicely varied and interesting. The lines about the rabbi and priest are great. And then there’s some classic starfinger delayed groanings! Love it.
Spin - i do appreciate your videos. Did you get a willing accomplice to record this one? The music - it reminds me of weird al’s parodies a bit - so i am not sure if you are serious or not (specifically something like “stop forwarding that crap to me”) but this is really effective. I like this better on second listen than the first.
Moss - really nice vocals. Not sure the joke is as resident in the lyrics as some of these others. But this is really pretty.
Mecha - this is really interesting. Different. I like the contrast between the verses.
Kamakura - i love the music and the samples make me happy. Did that joke come from gpt? It’s short but sweet.
Pink - i like this but i don’t love it. It does seem to really embrace its joke though. Enjoyed your link.
Hg - hey another nice arpeg going here. Digging the synths. This one’s a little all over the place, yeah? Is that first set of vocals from an ai synth? This is quite a thing!
Heid - strange. I like the accordion bit at the end. Not so sure about the lyrics?
Glennny - i appreciate the irish kind of feel here. The vocals are sometimes stumbly and on top of each other. The ending is good, heh.
Frankie - i am liking these lyrics a lot. Get to a hospital indeed. Anohter one i appreciate more on the second listen. I like the changes in the music especially. And the change in the lyrics is sublime. Love it.
Cybronica - the vocal doubling works well here. Nice chorus. I like the adherence to the theme.
Cmusmo - the way you are singing here is off-putting to me. Sorry. The part with the lala at the end is my favorite part.
Cave - the bridge is really good. All of it is good but not great. Wondering about the trebor part. I like the delay on the guitar though.
Brown - singular ude, jocular mood, i like this. I feel like the song could use more changes throughout.
Blue - hmm no lyrics. Not fond of the repetition in the chorus. I like the languid feel but i am not sure if you did the challenge?
Bss - was that a novel joke? I haven’t heard that one. Or that one. Kudos for that.
Balance - digging that melody line, i like the mp reference.
14 - no lyrics? That one repeating sound is cool. Here i cannot be sure you have done the challenge. Oh wait there it is at the end. Ok.

Sorry about that, where do we post lyrics? we included them with the email we sent in.
anyway here's The Friends song-

I’m not funny, are you?
When people talk to me, I stare at my shoes

I prayed for the answers

Didn’t get what I was after

I’m not funny



Who’s too tall but comes up short

This guy, this guy

Who stumbles every start

This guy, this guy



I’m not funny, who knew

I say something, and regret every move

I may be a disaster

A melting nuclear reactor

I’m not funny



Who missed every clue

And finds a way to lose

Who’s all thumbs in the dark

This guy, this guy

Who lost his innocence

To blind indifference

Harmonizes dissonance

This guy, this guy



(Chorus??)

I’m not funny



Who runs away to hide

Rather than force a smile

Grows old but not wise

This guy, this guy



(Chorus again)

eargoggle wrote: ↑

Thu May 23, 2024 4:22 am

where do we post lyrics?

Here's the lyric board: viewforum.php?f=5
And here is the thread for this round: viewtopic.php?t=12662

If you hit the board index the lyric board is the fifth one down.

HeuristicsInc wrote: ↑

Wed May 22, 2024 11:07 pm

Spin - i do appreciate your videos. Did you get a willing accomplice to record this one? The music - it reminds me of weird al’s parodies a bit - so i am not sure if you are serious or not (specifically something like “stop forwarding that crap to me”) but this is really effective. I like this better on second listen than the first.

Got my friend Jack to help record, but it's another rush job. You're the 2nd person to mention "Weird" Al in their reviews & I love that. If you want to see how BIG of a "Weird" Al fan I am, check this out: https://spintown.bandcamp.com/album/min ... ka-medleys. I also did a parody of his 10+ minute original song Albuquerque.

Wow now that polka really sounds like Al.

Here you go! Here is the anger and hurt that will fuel your creativity!

14hundredjoules -
I hear the song you want me to hear, and it's nice. I also hear the song that was submitted, and it's pretty rough. Burying those vocals in the mix and throwing on some reverb would do wonders.

Balance Lost -
Very boppy. Some roughness, but a catchy chorus. What are these lyrics? A joke??

Berkeley Social Scene -
It's solid and has a good start. I like the guitar noodles. The chorus is not something I want to hear more than once, which is a bad feature for a chorus. The later choruses get better.

Bluechip Ashram -
This is the type of song that could be a stellar homerun, but it needs to be a homerun. I could get into the groove of this with a stronger, tighter performance. The bass following the voice is fun.

Brown Word and the Big Whine -
I like the chorus. I'm not going to say guitar songs are boring, but there are ways to make them more captivating and interesting.

Cavedwellers -
It has its moments, but nothing remarkable. This sounds like someone bought a sweet instrumental track and then asked ChatGPT to write lyrics without using the same word twice.

chewmeupspitmeout -
Nice instrumentation. Really cool playing in there. The singing isn't selling the package. Though I like the melisma.

Cybronica -
Boppin' pre-chorus & chorus. The drums are kinda awkward. The lyrics are a bit forced in that, like others, the title is contorted to suit a personal narrative rather than looking at the title in more of a vacuum.

Frankie Big Face -
At first I thought this was a generic FBF song, but it is a remarkable song in its own right. Nice story. My criticism is it's a bit in the uncanny valley between "gimmick song" and "sincere heart tugger".

The Friends -
Some production and editing would help a lot. The repetitive prominent drums already start off on the wrong foot. It's not bad, but I need more dynamics/melody/hook.

Glennny -
You know my number. I love how you leaned in and enjoy the singing at the verses. However, then you leaned out at the chorus, which I'm a little saddened by.

Hjólhýsi Geisli -
This is great and sounds like professional techno. The bad part is the actual singing. I can't say I've ever gotten 2 minutes into an awesome song and thought "wow it would be great if Caravan Ray started singing".

Hot Pink Halo -
I am a bit biased against the kitschy here. I like the boppin chorus. Unlike many of the other songs, this is compositionally coherent and poppy. Some engineering and a stronger vocal performance would get this far.

Kamakura -
I enjoy the groove. It's a pretty good with some subtle changes that I appreciate. My criticism is that it feels like a movie clip with a backing track, rather than a song with clip accents.

The Lowest Bitter -
If I listened to this in a vacuum, I'd like it a lot more, but all your vocal lines kinda sound the same. You could use more note variety. Is it a good song? Yes, the same way most of your songs are good songs.

MechaKarp -
It's a little repetitive but the layering makes up. The bit is fun... (or genre... if it's not a bit...). Had it stuck in my head, so that's good. The bridge is great.

Moss Palace -
Really authentically pulling the heartstrings here with a fantastic vocal performance. Not in the faux emo way a lot of the other songs did.

Spintown & Company -
It's like you bought a good but generic karaoke track and then sang, literally, the worst lyrics really well over it.

Starfinger -
This is really cool. The singing perhaps fits the lyrics, but it's a bit grating and monotone at points.

The Ujn Corporation -
Slow start, but comes together nicely. The drumming is pretty slick at the changeups. Something about the vocals doesn't work completely for me and I can't verbalize it. I think it's that they're between stilted and emotional in an odd way that makes the lyrics difficult to connect with.

Vom Vorton -
Quite a bopper. Threaded the needle nicely. Dat chorus. Some timing and pitchy roughness, but I guess I'm used to it by now.

Max Bombast -
I was expecting you to show everyone how to do this song the right way. Hope u r okay.

Heid -
I wish you didn't miss the deadline. Others may discount you for low production value, but I like that you don't need production to make good music.

Heuristicsinc wrote:

...Wondering about the trebor part....

His real name was Trebor, we all called him Bob.

Spoiler

He introduced himself as "My real name is Trebor, but you may call me Bob." He was dyslexic, his real name was actually Robert, Bob for short. But he thought it was Trebor, Bob for short. This was inspired by one of my son's friends. His name was Semaj. We thought it was a beautiful exotic name. We wondered about it's origins. Years later we learned his dad's name was James and Semaj is just James spelled backwards.

@Hueristicsinc: If you didn't get my joke, then I apologize... like that Jamaican guy from Lord Of The Rings... Saruman.

grumpymike wrote: ↑

Thu May 23, 2024 8:38 am

Spintown & Company -
It's like you bought a good but generic karaoke track and then sang, literally, the worst lyrics really well over it.

Yeah...but did you like it? ;p

Ok I would promise to do better next round lyrically, but I'd be lying since it's already done...and well...I'm sorry in advance. lol Thanks for taking the time to do reviews though, and if I get through the next round I will try to let this fuel me into delivering better lyrics.

ujnhunter wrote: ↑

Thu May 23, 2024 2:52 pm

@Hueristicsinc: If you didn't get my joke, then I apologize... like that Jamaican guy from Lord Of The Rings... Saruman.

XD

ujnhunter wrote: ↑

Thu May 23, 2024 2:52 pm

@Hueristicsinc: If you didn't get my joke, then I apologize... like that Jamaican guy from Lord Of The Rings... Saruman.

the jamaican accent is required to make this work. that's what was missing

Thanks for taking the time to post reviews; feedback is much appreciated.

HeuristicsInc wrote: ↑

Fri May 24, 2024 6:56 am

ujnhunter wrote: ↑

Thu May 23, 2024 2:52 pm

@Hueristicsinc: If you didn't get my joke, then I apologize... like that Jamaican guy from Lord Of The Rings... Saruman.

the jamaican accent is required to make this work. that's what was missing

Trying to make a serious song while still committing to the joke "challenge" is difficult, otherwise we would have just made a dopey song from the get-go, but I'm glad we didn't.

reve wrote: ↑

Thu May 23, 2024 10:43 pm

ujnhunter wrote: ↑

Thu May 23, 2024 2:52 pm

@Hueristicsinc: If you didn't get my joke, then I apologize... like that Jamaican guy from Lord Of The Rings... Saruman.

XD

I knew I'd be able to get the original joke in there somehow... haha!

grumpymike wrote: ↑

Thu May 23, 2024 8:38 am

Cybronica -
Boppin' pre-chorus & chorus. The drums are kinda awkward. The lyrics are a bit forced in that, like others, the title is contorted to suit a personal narrative rather than looking at the title in more of a vacuum.

Belatedly, thank you to you and everyone who has been writing reviews; they are so very much appreciated. Can you articulate what about the drums are awkward? This was my first time ever really using a drum sequencer, and I live for constructive feedback. I know the rhythm section is my weak point, so any and all tips are welcome! Thanks!