I'm thinking of enlisting

Rabid Garfunkel · Post by **Rabid Garfunkel** » Mon May 08, 2006 8:25 pm

Oh, yeah, one more thing they don't tell you (until after you've gone through all the basic and advanced training, if at all). Your job is to die for your country. Sorry to sound like I'm jumping on the anti-bandwagon here, but there are some things you just... forget... when you're solely focused on surviving all the crap out there. And afterwards, too.

The older you get, the easier it is to just plain forget some things.

catch · Post by **catch** » Mon May 08, 2006 10:15 pm

Yeah, this is some heavy, heavy stuff. I hope it works out well for you, whatever you do.

roymond · Post by **roymond** » Mon May 08, 2006 11:21 pm

Rotations are going pretty slowly. There simply aren't enough GIs to fill the spots in Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, tomorrow's conflict. This is NOT a good time to play for moral. I admire anyone who would consider what you are considering. But I think you have to look at the reality of the current situation. Sudan may break all the fuck loose.

My brother enlisted in 1975(?) and became a special forces dude producing propaganda. He was trained as a photographer/short run printer who would drop into the zone and pump out leaflets to demoralize the enemy (something about the Geneva convention). But he had all the sniper/explosives/survival training and it's done him well. When he got out he went to school for industrial arts and jewelry design and is a top notch designer. But he enlisted right after we got out of the trenches of Vietnam, for the most part. Almost went to Angola but they turned back. Just practice. Well remember, practice makes perfect.

Get a touring broadway show job. More chicks.

Caravan Ray · Post by **Caravan Ray** » Tue May 09, 2006 12:18 am

Forget the Army - the Navy band looks like a lot more fun

Though I do believe that there may be several Songfighters who may be of interest to the US Army as part of their prisoner torturing programme. If I was an Iraqi prisoner - you can bet I'd spill my guts if they threatened me with 'extraordinary rendition' to Melbourne where they would lock me in a room and force me to listen to Denyer

obscurity · Post by **obscurity** » Tue May 09, 2006 9:12 am

My advice to anyone considering enlisting:

Find someone who really hates you, give them a loaded gun and have them shoot it at you. If you find you don't like this experience, don't enlist.

Caravan Ray · Post by **Caravan Ray** » Tue May 09, 2006 9:40 am

Looks like you're in luck Sober. They're hiring NOW

An Army of one wrong recruit
Autism - The signing of a disabled Portland man despite warnings reflects problems nationally for military enlistment

Diagnosed with autism at age 3, Jared is polite but won't talk to people unless they address him first. It's hard for him to make friends. He lives in his own private world.

"When Jared first started talking about joining the Army, I thought, 'Well, that isn't going to happen,' " said Paul Guinther, Jared's father. "I told my wife not to worry about it. They're not going to take anybody in the service who's autistic."

But they did. Last month, Jared came home with papers showing that he not only had enlisted, but also had signed up for the Army's most dangerous job: cavalry scout. He is scheduled to leave for basic training Aug. 16.

Officials are now investigating whether recruiters at the U.S. Army Recruiting Station in Southeast Portland improperly concealed Jared's disability, which should have made him ineligible for service.

Jared's story illustrates a growing national problem as the military faces increasing pressure to hit recruiting targets during an unpopular war.

A family in Ohio reported that its mentally ill son was signed up, despite rules banning such enlistments and the fact that records about his illness were readily available.

In Houston, a recruiter warned a potential enlistee that if he backed out of a meeting he would be arrested.

And in Colorado, a high school student working undercover told recruiters he had dropped out and had a drug problem. The recruiter told the boy to fake a diploma and buy a product to help him beat a drug test

http://www.oregonlive.com/printer/print ... xml&coll=7

Nigel (spOOn) Clements · Tue May 09, 2006 11:13 am

Whoah! this is a touch heavy, I respect what you say Sober, and I'd guess as a 40 something the best advice anyone could give you would be...

Imagine the worst possible scenario, work out whether you can hack it, then everything else is a bonus, and it's all down to your own individual personality...

But we all know Iran IS going to happen sooner or later.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Sober · Post by **Sober** » Tue May 09, 2006 7:01 pm

So I just went and took the aptitude test. It covers SAT-type basics like reading and math, but also covers job-specific areas like electronics, automotive, chemical, and mechanical. This is the test that determines what jobs you are qualified for in the military. Obviously, a low overall score will result in infantry, etc.

I scored a 98 out of 99. My recruiter flipped. I have my pick of literally any entry-level position in the armed forces (marines, navy, air force, coast guard included). Pretty sick.

Many of you have been warning me that instead of playing piano, I'll be sent to Iraq. I've made sure to be very clear with the recruiters as well as vets I know about this. It just won't happen, unless we're thrown into total war or something like that. By then there'll be a draft, so you guys'll be joining me anyway

But really, if I somehow get sent to certain death abroad - be it Iraq, Iran, Sudan, Korea, China, whatever - then that's what happens. This is my decision, and it has obvious inherent risks, but at this point in my life the benefits outweigh those risks.

So, thanks for the concern I guess, but I'm not going to be scared out of this decision. This is something I'm doing for me. Not Bush, not America, me.

If I get killed, do a coverfight for me

roymond · Post by **roymond** » Tue May 09, 2006 7:24 pm

The Sober Irishman wrote:unless we're thrown into total war or something like that.

Just re-read that part.

jack · Post by **jack** » Tue May 09, 2006 7:29 pm

we are in that self perpetuating thing called the "war on terror"

Märk · Post by **Märk** » Tue May 09, 2006 8:21 pm

Did they tell you about the 'drink beer and fuck hot women' position that you might just qualify for?

Phil. Redmon. · Post by **Phil. Redmon.** » Tue May 09, 2006 10:01 pm

Heather just told me what was going on over here, and I gotta say this is the god-damned dumbest thing I've ever fucking heard.

Even if we weren't locked into a semi-permanent expansionist wartime shitstorm, you'd still be playing fucking army tunes!

It sounds like you're in it for the money, which is mighty patriotic of you, but it seems kinda like farting on the graves of the poor saps who done "gived their lifes for our country," to say nothing of the THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of innocent people our military has killed and injured and just plain fucked with since Operation:Whatever The Fuck We Want kicked in.

It was nice of everybody to try to scare you with the whole "You're going to die" thing, which, you know, isn't SUPER likely. Sure, we've had a nice load of troops killed over myeah, but there's tons that, you know, HAVEN'T been killed.

I just think your motives are shitty, and that whatever blood-money compensation you get for jamming the fuckin' pep-rally jock jams would be better spent putting a less talented musician in front of a bullet.

Yeah, I guess that was a compliment, but to make up for it, you're an idiot.

"total war"

I'm gonna guess that the one question you missed out of that 99 was "Are we at war?"

Have fun!

Märk · Post by **Märk** » Tue May 09, 2006 10:34 pm

That was officially the Best Post EverÂ©

Mogosagatai · Post by **Mogosagatai** » Wed May 10, 2006 4:06 am

Ditto. Phil Redmon is gonna make a great dad.

Caravan Ray · Post by **Caravan Ray** » Wed May 10, 2006 6:36 am

Phil Redmon is Sober's Dad?!?

catch · Post by **catch** » Wed May 10, 2006 6:37 am

Caravan Ray wrote:Phil Redmon is Sober's Dad?!?

I don't... think so...

Mogosagatai · Post by **Mogosagatai** » Wed May 10, 2006 7:01 am

Ha, except he is right now.

I wonder if we'll have to puzzle over the irony of it all that Phil is infringing on Sober is a manner quite similar to the way (Phil so angrily states) America infringes on other people. To which I'd say, eh.

j$ · Post by j$ » Wed May 10, 2006 7:08 am

Except Phil is not going to invade Sober's house and lock him in a box without trial for years, if Sober does not agree with his opinion. Except Phil is expressing his opinion, that just happens to disagree with Sober's opinion. Except your comment is immensily fatuous, and I should know, given I make them all the time.

Sober, you want to join the army, fine. I can't think of anything more moronic, but that's just me. Go fight for your rights but don't sign up 'cos it's the easy life, or as an 'easier to get into' college (as suggested by your '98 right! The recruiter creamed his pants'. He'd probably do the same if you got 9 right.).

One general question: in the UK, people sign up for the Territorial Army (get to play soldiers at the weekends!) some not realising that now they are trained, they will be the first after the 'regular' army to get the call-up next time there's a major confrontation. If it's the same in the States (i.e. people who are trained get precedence over people who aren't, which makes sense) then Sober, even if you survive your tour of duty, you better hope there are no other big wars in the next twenty years.

Sober · Post by **Sober** » Wed May 10, 2006 7:13 am

I haven't told my dad yet. When the military has come up in the past, he's said he didn't think I could hack it. Maybe part of this is a 'fuck you' to him.

Your sentiments are... appreciated, Phil. But I don't see how my reasons for joining the army are invalid. Do you think that every destitute latino (%99 of recruits in my region) is joining because they just love America? Are they all less noble for it? They're the ones with no job skills, and therefore sent to combat.

And as far as the army band, there's more than ceremonial band crap. They have jazz/swing, country, top 40 bands, etc. So yeah, I'll have to learn some 'army tunes,' but then I'll go play a set with some Ray Charles or some fuckin' Skynyrd.

Essentially, being in the army band will let me focus on music, and be paid reasonably well to do so. I'll be payed to get better at my instrument. Also, at any point in my service, I can train in other jobs within this branch of service, meaning I can go back to the school in VA to learn percussion, guitar, whatever. Once stationed, you can bring all of your personal items with you, meaning my recording rig. So I'll be able to participate in SF from time to time, lucky you.

I talked to some family friends very high up in the military, and they ensured me that the army band basically would never be deployed into combat. Didn't happen in Vietnam, didn't happen in WWI or II. When I said 'total war' I was more meaning 'holy shit land war on american soil RUN.' God, you guys latch on to a single phrase and exploit it more than Fox fucking News.

So whatever. If I join, it'll be for my own musical growth, my own financial standing, and my own life. Saying that's stupid simply because you don't like the army or whatever is... kinda stupid.

Mogosagatai · Post by **Mogosagatai** » Wed May 10, 2006 7:15 am

j$ wrote:Except your comment is immensily fatuous

Whoa whoa, I don't think you read that right.

I wrote:I wonder if we'll have to puzzle over the irony of it all that Phil is infringing on Sober is a manner quite similar to the way (Phil so angrily states) America infringes on other people. <b>To which I'd say, eh.</b>

That means I think that would be stupid--to puzzle over such worthless irony. I think the advice Phil gave is all kinds of excellent, and that he'll make, just as he's making now, a great dad. I was trying (unsuccessfully) to head off an argument.

EDIT: That said, kudos to your decision Sober. That was an uncharacteristically well thought-out answer!

catch · Post by **catch** » Wed May 10, 2006 7:22 am

The Sober Irishman wrote:Saying that's stupid simply because you don't like the army or whatever is... kinda stupid.

It seemed to me that he was saying it's stupid more because he cares about your well-being.

j$ · Post by j$ » Wed May 10, 2006 7:26 am

Mogosagatai wrote:That means I think that would be stupid--to puzzle over such worthless irony. I think the advice Phil gave is all kinds of excellent, and that he'll make, just as he's making now, a great dad. I was trying (unsuccessfully) to head off an argument.

I read it right, then. You are the one who brought up the whole irony issue. Not been mentioned before. Then you try to claim it doesn't mean anything with your last comment. That's exactly what makes the statement fatuous. Not being argumentative, just pointing out the facts as I see 'em.