A trip to Madame Tussaud's (Hollywood Wax reviews)

[The Weakest Suit]

thanks to everyone for being somewhat kind to my song.
it was another late night start-to-finish debacle.
the singing was soft again because my wife was already asleep.
it took so long because i also could not think of an angle that wasn't
1 a sutty song about the cover art topic
or 2 a song about the hollywood wax museum
i figured these two topics would be done to death.
so i wrote about how nothing makes it very far without getting a scratch or scar and eventually dying, contrasting it with the everlasting perfection of a wax sculpture of a hollywood starlet. the problem was that i got this idea around 1 am on the due date. the quality of the song speaks for itself.
i seem to have a built in november slump. around the same time last year i submitted my worst songfight song ever ("and counting") and seriously considered taking a break from songfight. i'm glad i didn't because in december and january i wrote and recorded some of my best songs ever: "just to be difficult", "they control the weather", "mr. sandwich", and "cute boots".

[jeff robertson]

Two fights in a row where the guitar sound that everybody raves about turns out to be a Boss Metal Zone. Thinking of breaking mine out next.

[melvin]

Two fights in a row where the guitar sound that everybody raves about turns out to be a Boss Metal Zone. Thinking of breaking mine out next.

Do it! the guys in the band used to bust my balls about the Metal Zone back in the day, but who's laughing now?

Additional complimentary commentary.

So glad you like the tune! The story is not based on experience, fortunately! But I must agree there are a few pretty funny quips in there, hehe. As for Logic, I'm pretty sure it's a Mac-only proposition. I got the Mac and Logic together, so it was really a complete DAW do-over. One of the best decisions of my life for real!

[Steve Durand]

Steve Durand- Delicious horns! Swinging drums! Great “Doot Doots” Who’s on bass? Who’s on drums? Very cool song! VOTE!

Thanks glennny.

That's me playing the bass. The drums are jamstix

[Caravan Ray]

Hollywood Wax? Wax where?!? What color? The price of admission? Seems there were three general ideas, those being, one, the waxing of pubic hair, two, a substance insoluble in water, or three, the Hollywood Wax Museum. So, I don’t know that there were a whole lot of directions in which one could go. I don’t want to say it was limiting, but it sure was tough.

I can name at least two more:

1. Waxing as in "the moon is waxing" or "to wax as in to grow" vs "waning" as in "Baby watch out for the hollywood wax 'cause you know it's just gonna wane."

2. Wax as in an old timey record album.

Within all of those there are sooooo many possibilities.

Indeed - such as surfboard wax, as used in Hollywood.

I didn't enter - but did have thoughts earlier in the week about doing a song about surfing movies eg - Ride The Wild Surf, Big Wednesday, etc...etc..

sooooo many possibilities.

[Billy's Little Trip]

That's me playing the bass. The drums are jamstix

That looks like a pretty cool program!

@ CR, the first thing I thought was Sex Wax. I've been using it since high school.

[Ross]

Ross Durand- I like where your voice is at in this song. I think sometimes
You out sing your abilities, but not in this track, you’re nailing it!

Thanks very much. I think this may have to do with me recording the guitar and vox "live." I guess it seems counter intuitive but I think I both sing and play better if I'm doing both at the same time - somehow the song just flows more naturally for me that way, and I think the singing is more natural and less "in my head."

[Ross]

And now, I review.

Paco - I like the Pistols/Ramones rhythm/bass doubling. Very straightforward. The ride cymbal in the middle is a great choice. The bridge is an interesting contrast to the verse musically almost post psychedelic. When we come back around it feels a smidge monotonous. I don’t care much about the words - Good-

Steve - Production note - what’s different about how you recorded your vox? sounds more “in the room” than usual. I think the solo should have started over the second instrumental break. Very good Song!! Great take very well executed. Good +

Rone - I’m 20 seconds in and can’t listen any longer - Thanks for playing

BSS - Wow the opening timbre is incredible reminiscent of you know what. nice arrangement, Words are incorporated fairly well. Ken on the keys? I like when you do this thing if that’s you. I feel like the spaces between the words are too big, in some places it is effective, but in others it seems to cause a little drag. I don’t think pete is involved here, so I will say - if you Don’t know the band Television, you should check them out - this is very reminiscent to to me - Good

Melvin - I love how the opening riff is ambiguous in terms of 1 and 3 until the drums come in. Great harmonies in verse 2. I don’t care for the theme of the song. Cool little slacker Beach Boys break in the middle. Ok+, would go good but for the theme just preference. I do welcome back the rock, though.

Clubs - I’m all for a good GnG, but I do think that there is a kind of commitment needed in the performance to pull it off and sell the song and be a good GnG and not just a GnG of a song you didn’t have time to record otherwise. I feel like I can hear you reading the words off of the lyric sheet here. I feel like there is an interesting song under here - but it’s not quite peeking out. Ok

Quimby - I feel like I’ve heard this guitar part in the last few weeks somewhere. Did you say “Thousand Oaks soul?” I’m from TO, what does that have to do with this song? Are you from around there? Pretty interesting song if it had been half as long. But the long intro and middle section definitely detract. I appreciate what you did with build in the vox, but I think it needs more variation in the arrangement, or a shorter structure to really come off. OK+

SBT - I think I get it, but I don’t get it. Put off by theme for a song right away. It is an incredibly cheesy failure of a novelty song. Thanks for playing.

Elaine - Something about this feels forced to me. I like the ideas both musical and conceptual, but I feel like you had to squeeze some things lyrically into the musical spaces. you lose me at the phone call. Some really good stuff here that isn’t really coming off as a cohesive whole to me. Good -

Styop - I want to like this story but I just can’t get on board. Not sure why, some is performance, I think a lot is arrangement and some is lyrics - like it doesn’t really pull me in even though I want to be pulled. OK

Slat - This is fun - I like the backing vox on the chorus. A little more tune couldn’t have hurt. Otherwise I think it needs the full B-52s delivery. The girls singing the celebrity names and the word “wikipedia” in the third verse could have spruced up the arrangement. Good

Todd - excellent arrangement and performance. “I am...I am superman....” This is a very charismatic piece of music. Incredibly charming - like the “day out” montage from a Meg Ryan romantic comedy. Great!

Make Spoons - hmm - second song about a fire of the hollywood wax museum. I like this - it’s got a little Beck or Flaming Lips or Butthole Surfers or something to it. I think this pulls off it’s artistic vision very well. I think the sonic choice fits the lyrical theme very well. Good.

Dirge - The structure works against you here with me - it sounds like half a song _ I realize al of your thoughts are there, but a short interlude and a repeat of the last part would help it feel more complete to me even though there would be no new ideas. I honestly think you could have generated some new Ideas for another verse, though as well. Interesting, but I feel it is structurally flawed. Ok

OddBOd - Catchy off the bat. but lyrically you lose me in the second verse. This next comment applies to several songs in the fight, but I just have a bias that I’d like to hear a song I feel like someone would actually write if there was no Songfight. Almost like an illusion. I think that is why I think some themes work and others don’t. Totally my subjective call, but heck - I’m the one writing the review (at the moment )Ok

Heine - Cool sound. But I grew up listening to early alternative music in the 80s, so I could be biased. It gets a bit monotonous and I realize that I have basically lost track of the lyrics. Some of your lyrics remind me of that half animated movie with the tag line “Holly would if she could.” OK

Cord Gangsta - I don’t like this. Thanks for playing. What ever you’re trying to put together does not come off.

Pretty good sounding fight, but I think in generally the sounds were better than the words.

I think I will vote for: Steve, BSS, Slat, Todd, and Spoons.

A fun listen!

[slats]

The Slatsations -- oh I get it -- this is supposed to be like Cake! It actually works -- but perhaps a bit too directly influenced. The female backing is key -- she really helps -- the juxtaposition is key too.

Yes! It's my first crack at doing anything along these lines vocally, but I've always dug Cake, and thought the subject matter at hand would fit that style well. I wasn't thinking B-52's, but I can see where people would get that idea in retrospect.

The girls singing the celebrity names and the word “wikipedia” in the third verse could have spruced up the arrangement.

The female vocalist is my 15 year old daughter. I'll try to get her involved in more songs in the future. I knew she'd be perfect for this concept, so much so that I scribbled out the chorus before I even had the verses done just so I could get her recorded while I had her with me. But that's a great idea!

[MisterQuoons]

Vocals are off beat and I think that's not the right tonal range for the voice.

Gosh we hear this riff a lot. The vocals are terrible. They sound uncommitted. Did you have to be quiet while recording? The organ sounds good. The fake bari sax, was good choice for the solo, however it doesn’t really deliver much of an interesting melody. This is under 3 minutes but it feels like 8 minutes. Desperately needs more variation, and especially needs committed vocals.

I agree. I did this entire song over the course of about twelve hours, and finished about eight or nine before it was actually due, so production was a little rushed. The vocals make me cringe every time this song comes up in my iTunes. The vox and the sax solo were the last things I did on the song, and I admit that they need a lot of work.

As to the simple, redundant riff, that can be attributed to the fact that I am a terrible guitar player. I hope to get better over time, but everyone will have to bear with me until then.

I kind of like this song, but I definitely agree that I will need to re-do some things about it. Thank you for your input.

[melvin]

BSS: Okay, I love the synths in this, and I REALLY love the lead vocal performance. WAY better than previous performances. Awesome energy and grit and passion! Wish I could make that vocal tone. Chorus is great, bridge is totally cool, synth break is awesome, morphing into guitar lead is sweet, although the guitar tone is a bit reminiscent of a mosquito when Glen deserves something more on the scale of an albatross. But what’s the snag here? It’s that dang riff from My Sharona! It came to mind instantly, even though it’s technically TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Too bad! Still, this is a great track.

Chords: This is like bad 12-bar blues. It’s a cliché that is not even redeemed by being well-executed.

Dirge: This is odd. Really like your voice and the rhythm guitar sounds nice, but the intro, the drums, and the lead guitar all sound out of place and out of time. There's potential here, but it needs some production help.

Elaine: Nicely written and played. The lyrics are quite hilarious when listening to the song, but not so much when just reading them. I’m not complaining—that ’s actually cool. As others have mentioned, the “dialogue” section is jarring and unpleasant. Just turn it down in the mix. But back to what’s good: lovely recording and performance and vibe. Best EDM track to date.

Heine: I think the octave jumps are a 10/10 idea executed with 7.1/10 proficiency. So not too bad. This is a pretty catchy little tune, but by the time the main riff comes back AGAIN at 3:11, the repetitiveness almost feels oppressive. This tune either needs more melodic ideas or a 90-second haircut.

Make Spoons: This is pretty cool. Like the sounds in it, like the sung vocal parts, lyrics are obvious in a way, but funny and never dull. Last line about Babs is especially witty. Good track.

Melvin: I learned several things from my foray into hip hop. (1) Making hip hop is fun (2) Hip hop songs offer greatly extended word counts (3) Even in this Age of Obama, racism is alive and well. Anyhow, I’m glad to be back to the rock music... for now at least.

Oddbod: What the hell? If my return from hip hop had a theme song, I guess this would be it. This just sounds like white people with bald genitals dancing at a Caribbean resort. Fun! Very well produced little ditty. Nice work.

Paco: You always come prepared to kick ass. Yeah! You are a total monster. Are you playing the drums in this? If so, the playing and recording sound noticeably advanced versus a few months ago. Great sounds as always. You rule.

Guita1-02: That’s a terrible band name. Lovely singing voice, but this is a really boring song. Where’s it going? Nowhere! Don’t bore us... get to a chorus at some point, please!

Roner: “No offense to the clowns” – that’s a funny line. Okay, I like that you’re playing guitar instead of Fruity Loops, but here’s what you need: a tuner and some chords. Homework: tune your guitar so that the strings are tuned to the notes EADGBE (going in order from the fattest to the skinniest string). Then, watch this video and learn three chords that work well together. I recommend G, C, and D. Then, practice switching back and forth between the three chords. There! Now you can play 59% of all the pop and folks songs ever written. Do it!

Ross: Huge, warm acoustic to start. Nice. Wow, as the melody kicks up and the vocals double, I think I got a chill! This is gorgeous. Keeping the organ super-subtle was a good production choice. This is all about your voice. Perhaps my all-time favourite R. Durand track, and that’s saying a lot, because I’ve heard at least 300 of your songs. Brilliant work. Isn’t it funny how the simplest tunes/arrangements often turn out to be our best?

Slatsations: There are at least three things wrong with this track: (1) the bass is panned sharply to the left, (2) the lead vocal is reminiscent of Denny Hazen, (3) it features a father/daughter team singing about having a waxed pubic and anal area. Am I the only one who finds the panned bass creepy?

SBT: I laughed out loud six times. Thank you.

Steve: Amazing! The Durand Brothers for the win this week! I don’t know why people always bust your balls about your vocals – I think they work great with your music. Love the old timey record-cutting tale. The “stack of 45s” line reminds me of dropping off my demo at the Capitol building several years ago—haha, nice try kid. Tasty horns as always. Great, groovy track.

The S Experience: The opening guitar riff piqued my interest, but moments later, the vocals left me perplexed. It sounds like they were sung by a 700lb friendly ghost with the microphone actually inside his mouth. WTF?

Todd McHot: Todd, as much as I like your music, I think you may have broken the limits of master limiting with this entry. It’s like a solid, smooth slab of music. It's like a sonic fruitcake from three Christmases ago. But aside from the dense and squashed production, this is yet another fine example of very crafty tunecraftery. Okay, what is happening harmonically on the word “smile” staring at around 0:53? I need to know how to achieve that "I actually understand harmony" sound. Great work as always. Particularly like the outro—how cute!

Weakest Suit: Didn’t you say you were quitting Songfight, like, 32 fights ago? Sorry, I’m just taking the piss. This ain’t bad, but it’s subject to the same punishing GnG test I threw out a couple of fights ago: absent truly brilliant lyrics or melody, GnG is destined to be unremarkable. So this is good, but not great.

Props to BSS, Paco, Ross, Steve, and Todd. Good fight!

[Henrietta]

Wow, you guys are way nicer to me than you used to be. What gives? Seriously though, thanks for taking the time to listen & review Quimby.

Weakest Suit- This is okay. I'd like to hear it with a more of an in-your-face delivery.

Steve Durand- Damn I love this. Do you play everything yourself? I'm a sucker for a smooth clarinet.

The Slatstations- I agree with some of the previous reviews about the panning. It's not blended enough on my headphones. The melody reminds me of Cake who I like whole a lot.

Berkeley- My Sharona! There's a lot of cool things in here, although this one doesn't quite do it for me. Makes me want to troll through your previous entries, though, so yay!

Heine-I love sound on those guitars. Yeah, I like this a lot. I agree with previous reviewers that were torn on the falsetto. Maybe split the diff and use it a lot less often?

Sourbelly- Hee hee hee. Butthole Surfers meet Wesley Willis?

Rone- "There's nothing superior about a clown. No offense to the clowns." Words=I like. Musicality=not so much.

Styop Quoons- It's cute, without being cutesy. The synth instruments sound a little too "synthy", but I like it overall.

Paco-Awesome! Great tones on everything. I love that bassline.

Make Spoons-Really digging the mood here. At first I thought the panning was an awesome effect... but halfway through my mind changes. Nice!

Oddbod- Awesome! Incredibly irresistable.

Todd McHatton-I'm jealous of your ability to blend those vocal track! They blend great.

Ross Durand- I'd like more organ please. I don't think the double vocals work for this.

Melvin-This rocks! The only thing I can think of to add is that the bass tone could be fatter somehow.

Elaine- The way you describe your own vocals, I expected something completely different! This tune congers Grace Slick solo, with a touch of Joni Mitchelll. The bass needed a third take... it's a little messy in spots. Given how present the bass is in the mix, it just stands out to me.

Courduroy- After listening to Elaine's soft piano, those crunches were harsh in my headphones.

Dirge- I don't think the lo-fi opening works well, especially compared to the ending it just felt not cohesive somehow. Good overall.

Quimby- I listened to a bunch of Tea Party that week, and was messing around with DADGAD. I hoped it would be more than it was, but I ran out of time.