bush could die tomorrow (i wish i was so sure.. reviews)

tonetripper · Post by **tonetripper** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 10:57 am

Botolph - The guitar lead work could have been brought a little more forward in the mix or brought up during the times when the vocals are out of it. Vocals got a good cut and are well performed. Overall I dig the live feel of this track and the lyrical concept but I'm searching for the hook but it kind of isn't there with the title.

CCS - Although I think the CCS formula of chording is a wee bit exhausted on some level, there are so many sweet couterpoint moments in this song it's hard to critique. The backing vocals are like butter to my ears. The mix is perfect. The bass, which I Love, has a real Paul McCartney feel to the movement throughout the song. The lyric of "you could say something" at the end is possibly the main reason that this is going to get my vote. Very clever song. Weep you guys are soooooo good!!! Make TT happy.

Deshead - This has such a hooky chorus that it almost got my vote (I was singing it on my way to the bar last night while riding my bike in minus 13 degree celsius weather), but I think sometimes I swear I'm hearing an auto-tuner working on the vocal a little too hard. Still the longevity of this song is it's relentless chorus, changes that occur along the way, and the smooth transitions that bring each part together. Hook-central and serious contender if it weren't for the lack of originality in the music arena. The Weezer comparison should be undeniable.

Historyman - This sounds like a bad Beatles out-take on some long lost compilation. I enjoyed the changes in timbral qualities to the chords. Very cool. I also enjoyed the lack of using the title in the song, but in the end there are just better renditions for the title.

Hostess Mostess - The guiro is a nice touch in the percussion arena. I love a lot of what goes on in this song, but the thing that keeps me from totally liking it overall is the feeling that this song exists with different lyrics somewhere else in the world. All too familiar. It has all the right ingredients of a good song but it just doesn't leave an impression on me. The backing vocals are sweet and I think you should have ended it on the vocal chord instead of the guitar riff. Ofcourse this is personal opinion. Good song. No vote.

Karl's Mom and the Delicate Flowers - There is a lot of great, GREAT musical moments in this piece. But from my perspective this is a piece not a song. Cool music in an updated Art of Noise sonic kind of way. The flute movement is nice and fluid especially with those steel drums that occupy the background of that. Excellent music for the opening of a robot spaghetti western.

Poor June - The doubling vocals that waver from their duplicity kind of bug me a bit. I think you should have made a decision on keeping them a little tighter. The chorus is kinda cool but the doubling vocals just distract too much. Rainy day music. No vote.

R. Mosquito - Speaking of Robot Spaghetti Westerns. Robot Army. Doom and gloom. Hahahaha..... backup plan. The lyrics are great. Reminds me of a video that could be made for the evil character in the Incredibles. Love this song. Quintessential R. Mosquito. It's like an infected bite that never heals and malaria is gonna hit soon. Big Mosquito fan. Favourites. CCS beat you out though.

StubbyP feat. Dr Water - That bass groove is uber cool. When the sultry vocals of the female come in I'm happy until the synthetic drums come in. I think this song would have been better served if you would have cut the groove in the BG and live on the groove the vocals could have created on their own. Guitar solo is suhweet, but I tell you, lose the drum stuff or beef that groove up somehow cuz the feel for me is lost primarily in that dept.

Me - Saturday was when this song hit me and tried to make it a redcar thing but the other members were involved with family duties so I pressed on. Was happy with the abrupt changes. Felt it had flip-flop reasoning in the vein of the title. Lost time on the mix due to poor time management. Not my best work, but not my worst either and this is only my third SF solo entry.

Well CCS grabbed it hands down for clever lyrics. Deshead won the hookiest tune award. R. Mosquito won for most inventive lyric for the title. Historyman won for guy and one instrument low key side of the fight. And Karl's Mom etc. won for best musical in a Songfight! competition. Poor June won the most improved sound award.

- Pablo

boltoph · Post by **boltoph** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 11:22 am

I would like to advise what each song reminds me of:

Poor June This has the vibe of NiN "Hurt" with the vocals of Layne Staley singing Neil Young. Nice. While I like it, I also see a time when it may be fun to make a dirty version too, with alternate lyrics.

Historyman Strawberry Fields Forever! Very nice way that the chorus winds down, but I am longing for a heavier bridge or chorus like the one in SFF.

R. Mosquito I have to compare this to Blur "Woo hoo!" (not sure of the real name of that song). Maybe because you mention an insect army...and the guitar tone and chunk a chunk feel... I really like the chorus melody during "the way to make the shoot lasers from their eyes" it deceives me! Excellent!

Cashmere Cat "Holly Jolly Xmas" rewritten for "Meet Me in St. Louis" Very reminscent of some Christmas song and sounds like it was written for a show-tune. Oh the minor 4 chord is rampant!!! Rampant.

Karl's Mom Was this written for the avant garde theatre production of "Star Wars of the Apes in the city of Doom"? It is a wonderfully fitting title track!

Stubby Yes! All I can picture is a scene from the movie "Mad Max" where a singer from Abba is singing in a bar to Goose. Love it. I need to see that lady singing this in order to die a happy person.

Deshead I have the first Weezer album and it is timeless. But I know the song (the radio hit from the second album) that this sounding like, and it does sound just like it! The chorus is better than the weezer song i think. Note: there's a new open door in my world of listening labelled Deshead. Once inside, I drink all night on Saturdays and understand that there's no bad people, only bad ideas.

Tonetripper Two great catchy songs in one! A day in the life of Tonetripper? The verse is Lennon, the chorus, McCartney. My one wish that they would weave together like installed carpet versus throw rugs, but we know that only happens before the music gets good...

Hostess Mostess Ben Folds Five is what I'd say this sounds like, but replace the piano with an acoustic guitar. Excellent catch and best use of the title; I am enjoying this very much.

Somehow I've come up last in this order. How perfect! Each of my songs are like children to me...usually intentionally conceived on a drunken evening and born prematurely...

What a great bunch of tunes!

tonetripper · Post by **tonetripper** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 11:43 am

boltoph wrote:.... but usually intentionally conceived on a drunken evening and born prematurely...

Mogosagatai · Post by **Mogosagatai** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 12:28 pm

I'm pretty sure:

Hostess Mostess: A little boring--nothing really pulls me one way or another. Except maybe that "ooh la la la." That said, you have wonderful production and obvious talent in performance. I'd like to hear more songs like this, but with a more engaging tune.

R. Mosquito: This is great. Enjoyable tune, enjoyable lyrics, enjoyable song. You are the king of nerdrock.

Stubby P et al: That synth has a pretty queasy feel to it, which the broken drums don't help to ease. The electric guitar solo is alright, but for the most part I'm not diggin' this.

Deshead: As a style parody of "El Scorcho", this is close to flawless. The problem is that this isn't as good as "El Scorcho"--the notes are more subdued, not as expressive--so listening to this just makes me wish I was listening to "El Scorcho" instead. So it's good-ish but carries an unfortunate stigma for me.

Cashmere Cat: Mmm, smooth like a frosty. Up to your good standards as usual.

Boltoph: This is pretty cool--the verses sorta remind me of Paul Simon, what with the staggering, talkative vocals, and the chorus is just slick. The drums may be the best part of this. My only suggestion is to beef up the guitars and bass a little--thicken their sound. Some parts, like the brief musical break right before you sing "Wouldn't it be such a good dream..." sound just a little thin. That's just nitpicking though--great song.

Historyman: There's not much I would change about this. Your occasionally off-color singing may actually enhance the feeling behind this. The soft attacks on the organ downbeats are a nice touch. I should also mention, since I haven't reviewed in a while, that your "Run Faster" is a masterpiece.

Poor June: I like the tune, gloomy as it is, and especially the piano. I wish the vocals were a little less reclusive sounding, more open--your voice seems to have a sort of muffled quality to it that I can't quite put my finger on. Decent song, though.

tonetripper: I don't really like the non-sequitur transitions, but I do like each part on its own. The ride cymbal in the chorus is a bit overbearing. I really like the stabs of falsetto in the verse. Two cool songs, but I wish they were meshed together less abrasively.

----------------------------------------------

2. Cashmere Cleveland Sings, Boltoph
1. Historyman, R. Mosquito

But since a tie won't do, R. Mosquito eeks ahead by an insect hair.

historyman68 · Post by **historyman68** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 10:01 pm

tonetripper wrote:Historyman - This sounds like a bad Beatles out-take on some long lost compilation. I enjoyed the changes in timbral qualities to the chords. Very cool. I also enjoyed the lack of using the title in the song, but in the end there are just better renditions for the title.

bad? aw... Thanks. I suppose I didn't exactly use the title, but it's close enough; I just used "I wish I could be so sure" instead of "I wish I was so sure" because it fit better with the meter. People do that all the time. Even professional (you know, recorded) songs sometimes rephrase their hooks for the title because it's a lot easier to not have to worry about "could be" when you can just say "was." So this is still appropriate for the title. Knawmean?

re: the timbral qualities, Yakuza Jack played the keyboard, but only managed to do one chorus before we had to stop using his computer, so I had to do things to it to add more variety... I ended up using his wurlitzer and rhodes sounds and then adding some more revirb and chorus to the wurly in the third verse.

Other miscellaneous responses so I won't have to double-post:

Mogosagatai wrote:Historyman: There's not much I would change about this. Your occasionally off-color singing may actually enhance the feeling behind this. The soft attacks on the organ downbeats are a nice touch. I should also mention, since I haven't reviewed in a while, that your "Run Faster" is a masterpiece.

Thanks! That makes me happy.
I'm sorry my singing is "off-color" -- and thanks for saying it helps. re: the pedal stuff - see above, but I just used a volume envelope for that.

boltoph wrote:Historyman Strawberry Fields Forever! Very nice way that the chorus winds down, but I am longing for a heavier bridge or chorus like the one in SFF.

Yeah, I know my chord progression is pretty derivative (although not the most derivative in this fight -- I'm looking at you, Des "Rivers Jr." Head)

And what's SFF?

Jazz wrote:historyman: Hey, you guys rock! There are a few places where I wonder if a different chords would work better but it's not a big enough deal for me to press the matter. And you know it doesn't take much with me. Every one of your songs is better than the last. Are you still in town, Noah? I have some free time (finally), we should totally hang out if you haven't gone back to school yet.

Thanks. Yeah, I probably shoulda theory'd it all out and got better chord substitutions. Actually, if you'd like to take a look at it and maybe give me some recommendations, Yakuza Jack and I will be re-recording this one. I'm unfortunately in California this week, but I did stop by your house in a snowstorm when Jack went in to get back the Reason disc.

reve wrote:Historyman
You know who I’d like to hear do this track? Pavement. I'm not really into it, but I think they'd do your material justice for some reason. I really, really like the track. This track rocks hard without rocking. I mean, your tracks usually rock without rocking, but this really actually sounds as if it’s rocking behind a deceptive mask of mellow rhodes.

Thanks. I know exactly what you mean. I'm planning on re-recording this with a little more orchestration, maybe a little drumbeat on the chorus.
I'm not really into Pavement either, and if you want to send a copy of this to them to cover, I'd be honored, and interested to hear the result.

nicegeoff wrote:Historyman – Aww shit! Is that a real Rhodes? Historyman always knows how to make me wet by throwing in an augmented at the precise moment. I like the effect on the Rhodes towards the end. This is a fantastic song, I only wish your singing was better at times, but that’s no big deal.

Nope. It's a patch. But thanks anyway. Yeah, I like augmented chords. They're so versatile. I wish my singing was better, too. But we can't always get what we want, eh?

Sorry for this way too long post and unnecessary quoting. I'll be doing reviews once I can take time out of my vacation to give these songs the attention (it seems) they deserve.

Poor June · Post by **Poor June** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 4:15 am

nicegeoff wrote:
Poor June wrote: oh no worries at all... i was a lil' peeved about nicegeoff's review...

i didn't take offense from you... i was just lettin' ya know the motives of the song... (sorry if my words seemed a lil' hardened... i was still kinda peeved at the previous none review)...
i do appreciate the honesty and the full review...
Sorry, Poor June. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful or anything. It was just that whenever I listened to your song, I couldn't think of anything to say...I really wasn't thinking about it, I guess. Here's something more substantial:

I really do not like this style of singing (the "I'm a bad boy, but I'm taking a break on the Family Values tour to sing a serious, quiet song...oh, fred durst, do you want to duet? type) though I appreciate the use of the falsetto-octave vocals. I really hate whenever I hear that line, "maybe one was the lonliest number, but sometimes two and be the lonliest, too"...just because it's a nilsson reference that lacks insight and grace. I really like those first two low notes (in the beginning and repeated after the chorus), but the third doesn't do anything for me.

thank you... sorry the 'um' just kinda hit me wrong... thank you though for tellin' me your views... if next time one of my songs is somethin' that you can't think of somethin' to say, somethin' to feel free to say, 'i'm not really sure what to say about it...'... or just say it's not your thing... and i will understand...
sorry if i took it more to heart then it was intended to be tookin'...

tonetripper · Post by **tonetripper** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:48 am

Hey Poor June,

How about less blah blah blah blahing about your music and doing some reviews. Talk about it maybe in your reviews about your tune's inadequacies and such. Kind of gets a little long winded reading all the posts about people's reviews of your song and why they feel that way and etc. Review, review, review.

;p

Post by jb » Thu Jan 20, 2005 9:13 am

nicegeoff wrote:I really hate whenever I hear that line, "maybe one was the lonliest number, but sometimes two and be the lonliest, too"...just because it's a nilsson reference that lacks insight and grace.

Especially since the next line of the Nilsson song is: "Two can be as bad as one, its the loneliest number since the number one."

:-/

boltoph · Post by **boltoph** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:01 pm

historyman wrote:And what's SFF?

SFF = Straw-berry Fields, For-ev-ah

I can't even type it without getting it song stuck in my head...living is easy with eyes closed...

deshead · Post by **deshead** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:53 pm

historyman68 wrote:Yeah, I know my chord progression is pretty derivative (although not the most derivative in this fight -- I'm looking at you, Des "Rivers Jr." Head)

If G-C-D is derivative, I don't wanna be rivative.

Lonbobby · Post by **Lonbobby** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:24 pm

Deshead: I realize people are giving you a lot of shit b/c of the Weezer thing but that doesn't take away from the awesomeness of this track. Amazing tune, production, vocals, everything really. I was a music major in college and most of our assignments were to do a piece in the style of (blank). Ironically, it helps you grow as an artist by imitating others and learning intimately what they do. One of my professors once said that originality is combining bits and pieces of other's work. Anyway, I'm rambling and should be studying. Just wanted to say I love your song.

erik · Post by **erik** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:46 pm

Lonbobby wrote:One of my professors once said that originality is combining bits and pieces of other's work.

What's unoriginality, then?

historyman68 · Post by **historyman68** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 12:29 am

15-16 puzzle wrote:
Lonbobby wrote:One of my professors once said that originality is combining bits and pieces of other's work.
What's unoriginality, then?

Doing it badly.

One of my professors said something similar to what 15-16's said, but I think it gets the point accross better.

Every artist borrows from other people. It's impossible not to. But good artists do it so that you don't notice it.

And in preemptive response to Tonetripper, I will review as soon as I can. Really.

jack · Post by **jack** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 1:15 am

hey.....i'm in the other fight but i decided to review you guys instead. go reciprocate. you owe me one.

tonetripper
pretty solid production. that's quite a changeup in the middle. i really like the groove in that third section. good stuff. the overlapping vocal stuff in the fourth section is cool too. pretty interesting how you blend the 2 parts together.

karl's mom & the delicate flowers
well, i haven't read a single review for this fight yet, and i'll bet you caught some crap about it being an instrumental but i friggin love this. awesome. i'd love to see it put to words but it's still pretty brilliant as is.

stubby p. featuring dr. water
sounds like the drums are a bit off in the mix. i like the bass and the synth is ok. the vocals are a bit emofied for my taste, but i love the fat slashy sloppy guitar lead. if this had real drums, it would probably gel better. but that fat guitar makes me overlook any and all deficiencies in this tune. nice job.

r. mosquito
everything is really solid here but i wish the vox stood out more. they tend to blend in. nice arrangement too. i dig. i'm not sure if you are overemphasizing the nerd delivery or if thats just the way you sing but it works here pretty good. you are a good singer. this is pretty good.

hostess mostess
this is awesome. catchy, well done, great arrangement, great singing, great lyrics, awesome percussion. like vintage paul simon. best so far

cashmere cat
this must be a carol cleveland thingy. or a beatles out take. pro quality production. man, great job. that is all.

poor june
man, each week, you get better. i actually am getting used to that little warble in your recordings, and they kind of lend a cool mood to your stuff. when you double up your vox, it sounds great. this would have been great to have something going on behind the piano too, to give it some dynamics, like a horn or trumpet patch or something. still, i enjoyed this alot.

historyman
i love that vintage keyboard sound. and the liberal use of reverb. it's sort of endearing in a boy and piano sort of way.

boltoph
this is really tight for a band recording (i'm hearing real drums). i mean, it's got that outlaws meets the reverend horton heat thing going for it, and those harmonies are really awesome. man, i am really liking this tune alot. very tight. excellent!

deshead
it starts out all sublime like then turns into this great big singalong thingy. dude, you could make a mint of this tune. awesome. i have to say this has been an excellent fight that was going to be tough for me to decide on my vote. until i heard your tune. vote.

but like i said, this is an awesome fight. one of the best overall i've heard on songfight. congrats to all for very high quality work.

Poor June · Post by **Poor June** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 6:50 am

review time

boltoph: i dig the vocals really cool flow to this song... the drums are really well done..
i think i really dig the chorus a lot... i love how you're vocals sort of mellow out for it...
then the guitars sort of kick into that one riff... which is a pretty cool riff...
the bassline is killer... like part of me wants the guitars to come up some...
but another part of me doesn't... but it is a really well executed song... and the solo
was perfect... i really can't think of nothing 'bad' to say... i enjoyed the song a lot
if i heard this live... this would be a great live song

carol cleveland sings: i still like this stuff for it's originallity...
and it's really pretty and well put together and i like how you do the vocals...
and your mixing skills are obviously pretty good... i really don't know if i'll ever
be able to click vote for a cleveland song just because it's not really my thing
but this is deffinately worth a listen... and i'm glad you made it...
(and i really really dig the last 30 seconds... when it starts kicking up... and then mellows out)
awesome

deshead: i really didn't notice the weezer thing till after i relistened to el-scorcho
and really other then a similar rythym for the chorus... and vocal timing
which is pretty close... but i don't really care... this is really well put together
i personally believe it's impossible to create something that hasn't in it's entirety
been done to some extent... cause no matter what...
the chords you are using... have been used before... you can't avoid that
eventually something is gonna sound similar... and i really think this was well done as it is
and i really like your voice alot... it's cool... and honestly
i would consider myself a fan... you really have re-listenability in your music...
and i dig that... my only querry with the song... was i really didn't dig the sample ending
didn't seem like it meshed that well... but still a great song...

historyman: first off the first time i heard this song... the chords sound
almost exactly like the chords from eric claptons-'tears in heaven'
of course it changes up... a little bit... so that's cool...
haha i'm not really into the song much... but i like how you sing the chorus
'and i'd like to hold hands, more than anything else
but i can't because i'm all alone'... haha for some reason it sounds so sarcastic
hahahaha... but it made me laugh a little because of that
and i really enjoyed that... all and all not half bad...

hostessmostess: wow... really cool twist on the title... the music is really cool
i'm digging the vocals a lot was really cool... and the chorus sounds really cool
this was really well executed i enjoyed it a lot..
possible vote... nothin' bad i could think of...

karlsmom: i'm not really digging the fake sound of a lot of the samples...
feel free to correct me if they aren't samples... but they aren't really workin' for me
i do like the choir sample... it sounds cool... i'm really curious what this
would've sounded like with vocals... i like the deep soundin' drum rolls that start coming in
i like the high dingy sound that sound the comes in around 2 minutes...
but i think it may have worked better as a dif. sample... but still pretty cool soundin'
i like the last minute or so of music better then i like the rest of it...
as it is... i don't think i would dig the song... but still am curious

me: i was goin' to add more to this song... but i wasn't really thinking puttin'
strings in yet another song would've been a good idea... i ran out of time
i had to clean all my stuff out of the room... and i kinda liked it stripped down
so i just left it as it was... i felt like too many deep sounds... would mudd out my voice
seems to mix anyways with low notes...
i do think that it would've helped maybe to add a few things here and there...
but overall i'm happy with it... (and i didn't think about the three dog night line and all
the other bands that have used it...) i'll try to remember to not reuse ya know
anymore words in the american language that have been used before...

who knew two lines could make everyone hate it... but thanx for the reviews

r.mosquito: i have to go with everyone else on thinking your last song was better
but i don't think this is really bad.. i dig the sound that comes in at 32 seconds...
i don't know if that is some kinda effect on a guitar or what?... but really cool soundin'
really this is a pretty good song... i don't like the vocal parts around 110 through 125...
but it's probably good for a change in vocal styling... all and all pretty good

stubbpfeatdrwater: i like the female vocals... i don't much care for all the reverb on 'em though
doesn't seem to mesh well... the bassline is cool... but since only some drums are goin' on
after awhile it gets kind of boring... cause nothing really coming in... makes the music sound
real empty... so the song is basically having to be carried by vocals that were mudded
with too much reverb... i kinda like the guitar solo... but i'm not huge on how it comes in
kind of really out of nowhere... and then it goes back to just drums and same bassline
all and all this isn't a bad song... by far... it just is kind of empty nothin' really
to keep interest...
double vocaling at points could've helped that... cause just as a single vocal track
with an empty music track... just not workin'... keep it up

tonetripper: i guess most people know i'm not big on electronica... but
i still like your stuff... it's done really well... the change ups are a little
too sudden... kind of distracting... it almost sounds like it's a dif. song for a second
but thats cool cause it somehow comes back... but i guess i'm not really huge
on stuff the leaves my mind wondering... there isn't really a good hook
it has some really cool elements... and i like both parts of the song
i just don't know if i like 'em together like that... i just like stuff that flows better
but production is really cool... i also gotta admit i'm not huge on the reverb on the vox
but the vox themselves were really well executed...

just noticed that carol cleveland's song on the title page
is cashmere cat... was that intentional?

anyways top 5... (this'll be tough)
5.tonetripper **
4.carol cleveland ***
3.deshead ****
2.hostessmostess *****
1.boltoph ****

this really was an incredible fight... i don't think there was a song in the whole fight
that i didn't mind listenin' 2... of course weaknesses, but each song had some really
great strengths... and that's really rare... i enjoyed it highly...
even if that means i just got kicked in the balls and thrown in the back of the pile
haha i'll be lucky to scrounge up one vote haha...
congrats to everyone...
i think i now have another fave fight... \m/

hostessmostess and boltoph was a really really tough one to pic...
hostessmostess chorus vocals were incredible... and mixing was amazing
but i think boltophs basslines, guitarlines, and drum track...
kicked me in the end... and i had to pick that...
hostessmostess would've won if i picked for production though...
and amazing verses... i thought that was a really cool twist on the title...

Poor June · Post by **Poor June** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 7:21 am

EightLeggedOedipus wrote: Poor June
+++ This is a very well writen song, especially the little bit before you come back to
the verse (that lone ascending scale before you jump back to the chords)+++
--- June, if your intonation slowly gets better and I slowly start relaxing my sensitivity,
I still don't think we'll meet in the middle anytime this century. ---

thanx for that... i'm tryin' to get better at writing things that have atleast a little catch
but yea... i'm not everyones thing... i completely understand that 2

tonetripper wrote: Poor June - The doubling vocals that waver from their
duplicity kind of bug me a bit. I think you should have made a decision on keeping
them a little tighter. The chorus is kinda cool but the doubling vocals
just distract too much. Rainy day music. No vote.

yea i agree... on the doubling vox...
but i also like doubled vox
cause usually single vocal takes
sound empty...
but i'll try to be a little more
on next time around

boltoph wrote: Poor June This has the vibe of NiN "Hurt" with the vocals of Layne Staley singing
Neil Young. Nice. While I like it, I also see a time when it may be fun to make a dirty
version too, with alternate lyrics.

i've never fully understood the layne stanley comments i've gotten
i tend to take 'em more as a complement... cause i liked him..
i am quite curious what you'd have in mind for a dirty version

Mogosagatai wrote: Poor June: I like the tune, gloomy as it is, and especially the piano.
I wish the vocals were a little less reclusive sounding, more open--your voice
seems to have a sort of muffled quality to it that I can't quite put my finger on.
Decent song, though.

yea unless i sing really loud... my voice is kinda muddy naturally.. (no reverb or anything
was put on that take... well the lowered volume vox under does have a little echo)
but sounded relatively similar before hand...
but i kinda try to avoid singing too loud too often... cause i just rarely sing loud
and don't sound like a rip-off eddie veddar or scott stapp... even
if it isn't my intentions

jack shite wrote: poor june
man, each week, you get better. i actually am getting used to that little warble in your
recordings, and they kind of lend a cool mood to your stuff. when you double up your vox,
it sounds great. this would have been great to have something going on behind the piano
too, to give it some dynamics, like a horn or trumpet patch or something. still, i enjoyed
this alot.

i appreciate it... i don't know exactly what you mean by warble?...
but it's cool...
i would try a horn or trumpet or somethin'...
but with my mellow voice... i think it'd sound odd...
but i could try it... then again my keyboard
horn and trumpet sounds are really fake sounding
and i'm not big on using samples...
i've still been thinking about that offer of mixing one of my songs
i'm really curious how it'd turn out... maybe this week?
if you're not too busy?... i still gotta get some vox down...
and a couple more backing tracks... possibly...
but i could probably have it out to you semi-soon...
if you aren't too busy of course?

boltoph · Post by **boltoph** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 8:53 am

Poor June wrote:i've never fully understood the layne stanley comments i've gotten
i tend to take 'em more as a complement... cause i liked him..
i am quite curious what you'd have in mind for a dirty version

Yes, a compliment, I'm a huge fan of Layne (AIC, Mad Season). Anything that brings back his memory is appreciated.

The dirty version...well, that would basically just involve changing the lyrics, into an X-rated version. It's especially fun to do with songs that are sensitive. In band rehearsal, someone always chimes in with these "alternate lyrics", especially on my slower more introspective songs...nargh! Had to come back and edit this after listening again and note: it's the line about sun shining even in "certain places" that prompted my idea of creating a dirty version...

Poor June · Post by **Poor June** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 9:00 am

boltoph wrote:
Poor June wrote:i've never fully understood the layne stanley comments i've gotten
i tend to take 'em more as a complement... cause i liked him..
i am quite curious what you'd have in mind for a dirty version

Yes, a compliment, I'm a huge fan of Layne (AIC, Mad Season). Anything that brings back his memory is appreciated.

The dirty version...well, that would basically just involve changing the lyrics, into an X-rated version. It's especially fun to do with songs that are sensitive. In band rehearsal, someone always chimes in with these "alternate lyrics", especially on my slower more introspective songs...nargh!

haha i actually did a songfight song like that once!!... and absolutely no one acknowledged it haha... i got 'this is insanely depressing'... and the words... were just fucked up haha... 'tri-state area' fight if you ever feel like checking that out... i thought it was funny at the time

deshead · Post by **deshead** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 5:00 pm

Awesome fight. Seems the smaller fights are always better. Like the good::bad ratio is inversely proportional to the number of submissions. Has there ever been a fight with only one entry? I'll bet it was infinitely good.

boltoph I love your voice on this song. "Understandable lyrics" isn't a given on Songfight, so this is refreshing. I can't figure out what's going on with the drum track, though. It sounds like they were mono and you made them stereo with delay panning. But I differ with the prior comment that they're too quiet. Rather, I think the vocals are too hot, as everything sounds balanced in the extro, after the vocal track drops out.

CCS The performance and production are flawless. The song reminds me of The New Pornographers, even though it doesn't really sound like them. I think this (like most of your tracks) is an acquired taste, and that, as with the New Pornographers, I'll be rewarded by listening to it multiple times. So I'll go do that.

Historyman I like the lyrics, and the arrangement really suits them. (This reminds me of something Pink might have sung about 2/3rds of the way into The Wall.) The vocal track would benefit from double tracking. A real second take, though ... Not just running it through a doubler. One other thing: if I said "you slide between notes a lot", would that make sense to you? The best example I can find is at 0:57, when you sing "cry", and then the "from" that follows it (in "far away from you"). Unless you were going for a specific effect, your voice will sound a lot more confident (and hence tighter) the less of this you do.

Hostess Mostess I'm glad I heard this track first because it allowed me, early on, to give up any thought of winning. This is faultless! I love songs with lots of words. And as I type, this has my vote. It's got a Squeeze vibe to it, and Paul Simon (like Jack noted,) both of which are tops in my book.

Karl's Mom Too bad you ran out of time for words. This is interesting (much more so after 2:10)

Poor June I hate comparing to past weeks, 'cause each song should stand on its own. But it's almost a requirement here because the difference is so striking. In a good way. Do you ever go back and listen to the production on, like, Here Comes My Dragon, and marvel at the improvement? Anyway, good job.

R. Mosquito This is the "stuck in my head song" of the week. (Heh, though admittedly I'm wearing my love of Weezer like a badge of honour.) The synth lead is awesome. The bottom end lacked punch for me, but it does with most Weezer tracks too, so you get a pass on that. Great job.

Stubby P Yin/Yang ... drums too loose/guitar solo rocks ... keyboard is flat/great vocals ... bass is too busy/guitar saves it.

Tonetripper I still can't get over you riding your bike to a bar in -13. You make me proud to be a fellow countryman... Your vocal in this track is awesome, though it could use a little auto-tuner in places. Ahahahaha. No, i'm just kidding. This definitely warrants repeated listening. There's so much going on, I feel like I won't 'get it' until the 4th or 5th listen. Best kind of song.

I'm pretty sure my vote goes with Mostess. Let me dig CCS and TT for a while longer, just to be sure. I'll get back to ya.

deshead
Thanks everyone for the reviews and kind words. I don't know any half-Japanese girls, so this song's about my cat.

the jazz wrote:Is it humanly possible to have such good pitch on a #9 chord ("this week")? I think not. Cheater.

Swear to God, happy accident. I was aiming for a 7th.

Lonbobby wrote:it helps you grow as an artist by imitating others and learning intimately what they do.

I forget who said that learning a song is like getting a free songwriting lesson from the artist. Personally I'd rather skip the lesson and go drinking.

erik · Post by **erik** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 5:13 pm

historyman68 wrote:
15-16 puzzle wrote:
Lonbobby wrote:One of my professors once said that originality is combining bits and pieces of other's work.
What's unoriginality, then?
Doing it badly.

One of my professors said something similar to what 15-16's said, but I think it gets the point accross better.

Every artist borrows from other people. It's impossible not to. But good artists do it so that you don't notice it.

See, I've heard* tell the exact opposite: that when you try and immitate someone and do it badly, *that* will be seen as originality, and that doing it well will just be seen as ripping someone off.

*You may choose to imagine that the person who I heard this from was a professor.

tonetripper · Post by **tonetripper** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 6:55 pm

deshead wrote: Personally I'd rather skip the lesson and go drinking.

Want to meet me in town for this -23 degrees celsius weather...... hahahaha....... thanks for the review and des..... I still got your tune ringing through my head. I find it funny that the phrasing of the title seemed to maintain a similar rhythm in most of the entries...... but Weezer or not dude, your tune kicked in the production dept.

shuffles feet, whistling, reaching for the play button on the itunes program searching for Deshead's number while getting ready to go out..... fuck, closet Weezer lover.....

SaxManRunning! · Post by **SaxManRunning!** » Sat Jan 22, 2005 11:13 am

Awesome fight. Hopefully I get time to do some reviews soon.