Thinkin' about Some Reviews

[Spud]

See also: http://songfight.net/forums/viewtopic.p ... 77#p135877

[Spud]

If the powers that be read this, it would be extremely nice if you might except my re-submittal (sent via the mail submittal email address and subject line referenced) and make the change.

It is up, Larry. Just don't let it happen again.

[ltab]

BriGuy92:
I'll try to unpack that statement for you. Sorry it took so long, I had to look up all the words in a dictionary, then try to translate it into common English, but I think it's something like this:

You took a subject that is kind of boring because it isn't novel and doesn't connect with anyone but yourself, and made it sound kind of halfway decent because of your word choice.

I guess the fix would be to try to find something to say that would be interesting to another person no matter how you said it, and then use your hepatizon tongue to make it sound nice.

--ltab

[Sober]

Just remember, Sober, you're listening for the quality of the songwriting.

O, I forgot I was at Songwritingfight.org.

[Spud]

Well, it isn't mixfight.org, or performfight.org. Of course, a good mix or a good performance can make a bad song sound better than it really is. It takes a truly discerning ear to hear past all that.

[Sober]

There are plenty of people here with a good ear for songwriting, and solid advice to offer in that respect. I don't consider myself to be a great songwriter, but I have a good ear for production, and an abundant willingness to tell people that their song sucks Merman asshole.

LESS SEMANTICS, MORE REVIEWS IMO

[rone rivendale]

If this was songwriterfight.org I'd have at least 1 win by now.

[Spud]

You gotta go with your strengths, I suppose.

[j$]

Johnny Cashpoint--- it's probably the result of recording the vox and uke simultaneously, but the uke is a little too hot; maybe just some EQ to tone it down

That's exactly what it is - the uke was too close to the mic. I even tried some EQ to resolve it but it's something I've never really got the hang of yet.

j$

[JonPorobil]

Jesus, Sober.

[Sober]

It is my object to be a more annoying version of Blue.

[JonPorobil]

Sorry, I was actually talking about the song.

If I weren't on my way out the door headed for work right now, I'd write a long review of it. Instead, you'll just have to wait till I get home tonight.

One quick question before I go. Sober, did one of your bandmates write the lyrics, or was it you?

[nyjm]

Ramen-Flavored ROMs
--- some prosody in the lyrics, but an utterly insular topic without an original take ---

Pardon me for not knowing, but what exactly does that mean?

Prosody: Your lyrics have a good rhythm and tonality

The subject matter has a very small audience - people who love Wii and other console video games are already familiar that world. This isn't necessarily bad, games can often make interesting metaphors - check out how people have equated baseball with life.

After taking a closer gander at your choruses

In the past, it's all an exploration
Never knowing what you'll find
But at the same time, this road's already trodden
Somewhere back in the sands of time

I amend the "insular" to "trite." Moreover, your descriptions/narrative go on way too long and don't integrate in a creative way the nostalgic ideas of the chorus. We have a very old trope of thesis/conclusion with no synthesis or poetic exploration of the subject matter.

< / professor mode >

You got some good beats in words, man, but I don't think most people will care if they don't have a Wii.

[Lucky Spoon]

Prosody: Your lyrics have a good rhythm and tonality

Prosody doesn't necessarily imply "good"... everything we say/sing has prosody.

It seems to me the correct usage would be "The prosody of your vocals did/did not match/help convey the style/feeling of your song"

[Sober]

One quick question before I go. Sober, did one of your bandmates write the lyrics, or was it you?

Mostly the singer. I wrote the second verse, which he completely rewrote, and I "wrote" the chorus. It was sort of a melody-placeholder line, but we decided 'screw it, Derek's a good enough singer to carry that line.'

Should have time to do reviews myself tonight.

[LML]

You know how it goes. Teach people a new word and they run with it. Quite glib of them don't you think?

[LML]

Okay people... time for the unimportant reviews of LML who knows nothing about good music.

Grading system is like this: one star( *) out of five stars. One meaning I couldn't listen to the whole thing and 5 meaning I listened to it at least two times.

deetak **
This song hurt my ears. I couldn't listen for more than 30 seconds. Lyrics might have been great but I couldn't understand them. Piano seemed good though.
Your mic was abused quite a bit.

Steve Durand *****
This is a hoot. I definitely didn't live through that time period. A little cheese with the trumpets, but they were actually very good. Everything sounded very professional. Lyrics are quite nice. You got my vote. Not going on my ipod, but very coy and I like that.

Johnny Cashpoint ***
Lyrics are interesting. Retroactive birth control? Good rhythm, but for some reason it just didn't click for me.

Surf Train Surf Industry***
Good beginning then the computer voice comes on. Synth-tastic, but I like to hear human voices. But very creative idea for someone who may or may not be able to sing. Reminds me of a Radiohead song. Fitter Happier. Ends abruptly...but there's the robot voice again. It's not going on my ipod but you get three stars for the effort.

Ramen Flavored Roms **
Vocals sound like they were recorded in your shower. Were they? Slam poetry.

DuToVa*****
Rhythm is nice and very head boppy. 90's alternative which isn't so bad. Good quality. Vote.

Tungsten Chic **
Is it me or is synth becoming the new alternative to singing. I'm sorry, it's a song, but it has nothing to do with the old days. Sounds like the sound track to a Sega Genesis game. I feel like I should be shooting at something. Hit the A button!

Henderman ****
Is this you playing piano? If so... nice. Female vocals are beautiful. The beat seems a little bit off though. Male singer is kinda... blah. Very indie. Vote.

Lucky Spoon ***
This sounds like alternative rock from 2003. I'm sorry... but no vote. Three stars though.

Berkeley Social Scene *****
I like how this starts off. Reminds me of The Verve. Very professional sounding in my opinion. Great drums. Vote.

Death Be Not Proud ***
Muddy sounding. Are you talking about the end of the world? The lyrics confuse me just slightly. Nothing's new... green energy. Socialism? Three stars.

The Weakest Suit ***
Not my thing. Got a 50's vibe I guess. I'm not really digging this. It's just not my style, the song doesn't have any huge problems in my opinion.

Ross Durand ****
Guitar solo in the beginning? I'm from Texas, so it sounds like I would hear this on the radio. Vocals are a little too loud. I don't like country very much... but for country or alternative country or whatever they called it, it deserves 4 stars.

Chopped Liver Meat God *****
Did Demitri Martin make this song? Lyrics are hilarious. I'm just voting for this because it has a grown man singing lalalala highly.

New Southern Democrats ****
Sharp guitar playing but the lyrics are a little obvious. Didn't blow my mind like promised. My ears are not raped. Reminds me of the mid nineties and Nickleback. Uh... you promised ear rape. But yes... it's a good song.

noah mclaughlin *
Bad singing. Sorry.

Naked Philosophy *****
Like how it starts out. It's catchy. I will be putting this on my ipod. The AIDS thing made me laugh. Vote.

Miss Fancy Pants ***
This is renaissance fair...fare. I can't wrap my brain around it.

reconsiderate+Mr Scott *
Rap... are you Marshall Mathers? You lost me at shitting pants.

Larry Knox ****
I'm too young for this and I'm not in a casino. But if I WERE in a casino, I would be crying to this song. 4 stars.

Hot Wire ****
More electronica/house/2-step/trance music. Then comes the singing. Thank god. creative. I give it a vote because it doesn't sound like what you usually hear on songfight!.

The Chadderandom Abyss *
No. Just no.

The Hell Yeahs ***
I always have to give props to female performers. Not my cup of tea but I can groove to it.

Fartin' In The Club **
This is rave music. I guess that reminds me of the old days. Where's my pacifier and glow sticks?

John Kloberdanz ****
A little mild John. But you used harmonica. 4 stars.

Humboat ****
Ukulele... yes to that. Is this song about anticipating sex or... wait she might be what? Oh god... really? But I give it 4 stars. Because it's disgusting.

Larry **
Time... time... we had some time. Rhyming needs some work, dude.

Todd McHatton ****
Vocals... I just don't... dig it. But everything else is very nicely crafted. Lyrics are a little shaky.

Manhattan Glutton **
Socks and rocks. It's rockin but not rockin enough for me. I hope you didn't actually break someone's leg for the sake of the lyrics and rhyming. I just don't like angry male singer metallica singing.

Paco Del Stinko *****
Solid start... you know what? I like this. Vote.

So to sum it up, I voted for everyone with 5 stars. Don't like my review? They were all written while I listened to the song. First impressions make a difference people. But seriously, I know I suck so if I say you suck it doesn't mean much. Just means we both suck. And that's not so bad. I'm doing just fine.

[JonPorobil]

Prosody: Your lyrics have a good rhythm and tonality

Prosody doesn't necessarily imply "good"... everything we say/sing has prosody.

It seems to me the correct usage would be "The prosody of your vocals did/did not match/help convey the style/feeling of your song"

That's a good point, actually. However, it becomes more important in songwriting because most melodies have a built-in prosody to them. The problem comes when the stresses in the melody don't match the stresses in the words.

At least that's what I mean when I complain about the prosody in a song...

[Manhattan Glutton]

Manhattan Glutton **
Socks and rocks. It's rockin but not rockin enough for me. I hope you didn't actually break someone's leg for the sake of the lyrics and rhyming. I just don't like angry male singer metallica singing.

I was going for a garage band/punk sound, so I guess I failed miserably if it sounds like Metallica. As Alanis says: you live, you learn.

The song was a tongue in cheek look at the relationship between two trouble-makers- one being the deviant, and the other only being deviant because he's a follower. Through the constant one-upping of their nefarious deeds, their lifestyle leads to the narrator eventually turning on the follower... ironically at a competitive event to benefit cancer. I swear it all made perfect sense when I wrote it.

[New Southern Derek]

Hey, I'm the lead singer for The New Southern Democrats. I'll post some reviews later in the week (simply don't have time until at least tomorrow), but I wanted to say hello. Sober's been telling me about songfight for a long time and I'm glad we did a submission. We're in demo-recording mode for lots of new and old material in preparation for an album, so it's a pretty cool time to try this. We'd just gotten done with a track Sunday night when we saw the title and John (guitarist) started playing a riff that sounded cool. Sober and I hastily wrote some lyrics and we laid it down Friday night mostly.

Anyway...

New Southern Democrats ****
Sharp guitar playing but the lyrics are a little obvious. Didn't blow my mind like promised. My ears are not raped. Reminds me of the mid nineties and Nickleback. Uh... you promised ear rape. But yes... it's a good song.

Yeah, I agree the lyrics are pretty obvious. Especially the chorus, which Sober and I never really attempted to write...he just started singing what I guess are his placeholder lyrics (the "where do we go" part) and we rolled with it. If we wind up using this track for anything, we'll take another look at the chorus and probably a couple of verse lines. I do rather like the verses, though (not each line, but the vibe in the verses seems pretty cool to me). I didn't write the verses to be at all deep...I wanted them to be easy -- let the track drive the vocals/lyrics in the verses instead of the other way around.

Just curious, when did Nickelback use banjo, mandolin, and a finger-picking acoustic guitar? Also, just for historical accuracy, Nickelback's first major release was in 2000. Anyway, if that's what our track reminded you of then I guess we didn't get what we were going for out of it.

Either way, sorry about the promise of rape.....we drank a LOT after we got done with the track and I don't think Sober was exactly within earshot of being sober when he wrote that.

Hope everyone enjoys giving it a listen and maybe we'll do this again sometime. I'll try to get some reviews up ASAP.

[JonPorobil]

Just curious, when did Nickelback use banjo, mandolin, and a finger-picking acoustic guitar? Also, just for historical accuracy, Nickelback's first major release was in 2000. Anyway, if that's what our track reminded you of then I guess we didn't get what we were going for out of it.

It reminded me of a cross between Nickelback and Nickel Creek, fwiw. The Nickelback part is more mood than arrangement; something fleeting and ineffible. Wish I could pin it down better.

Thanks for posting, Derek. I'm not going to have very nice things to say about your song when I get home and write the full review, so I want you to know in advance that it's nothing personal. Hope to see you around as a continued presence, especially to fight that image that NSD are just "Sober's band."

[New Southern Derek]

Generic --

Just FYI, announcing that you're "not going to have very nice things to say" about our song comes off more dick-ish than just saying what you have to say and adding "nothing personal." As though it could possibly be personal to me since this is my second post and I know nothing about you.

As far as the Nickelback stuff, I'm hopeful someone can say specifically what it is that sounds them in this song. The guy who said Blind Melon was a lot closer to what I hear out of the song, anyway. The only thing Nickelback about it as far as I can tell is that a male is singing, a guitar player does use some distortion in the song, and the song has a chorus hook. But I'd like to know specifically what others hear that place it so far away from what was intended.

Then again, though Nickelback has become very cliched and is a great current example of the over-corporatization of music, they have sold about 36840320594593604593506945035945 albums and made gazillions of dollars. I'm certainly not attempting their sound, but if someone asked me to in exchange for a tenth of the money those guys have made, I'd do it in a heartbeat.