Helps Develop Breasts in Adult Males (Truth About Aspartame)

[Albatross]

Mistyped it may be (he's picking up some of my typoglitchical habits. ) thinking you must have *skimmed* the pages fruitlessly though J$ , cuz It's the one (Think it's the 10th post in the thread) where occurred a Rabid urge to dance Morbidly with Morgan whilst down in the Salt Mines-- waiting for the songbird to keel. (Or <<<chuckle chuckle,unladylike snort, tee hee>>>Is that a Morbid way to git yer (Gar)FUNK(el) on?):lol:

You know, in the 17 years I've known Garf, I don't think I've ever seen him dance.

Now, whether I'd WANT to, that's a debate for another time...

[Edge of LA]

Hey Albatross... how do you like this dancing image (perhaps you've seen it before, but I thought it was entertaining.)

[Albatross]

Hey Albatross... how do you like this dancing image (perhaps you've seen it before, but I thought it was entertaining.)

I have seen that, in fact, IIRC, someone here once used it as an avatar. Was that you?

[Rabid Garfunkel]

elimintaion rotation

What is that? You're saying this is the worst track here? I wouldn't know, I haven't listened to all of these but I don't think you have either.

Holy crap, how did a nod to an awesome song turn into this?

Bolio, elimination rotation is the first few listens through, when the stuff that's painful to listen to gets left out of the playlist, not to be seriously listened to again until it's reviewing time.

And if you thought you'd gotten axed from my personal rotation on the basis of my single post, well, on one hand I apologize for keying in those words so unclearly; and on the other hand, WTF yo? What's the big deal about my opinion?

Here's an unambiguous translation of that post for you.

"Dude, on my second listen through of the entire fight, my coworker (who's on the board here as Morbid Morgan) and I were enjoying your song so much we had one of those simultaneous dance moments to it, much like when everyone in the car claps at that part in Styx's Too Much Time on Your Hands. Good job, I'm really looking forward to listening to it on a better system."

Power down, homey. Please. And to help the dancing image, refer to Frank Zappa's Dancin' Fool.

[Bolio]

Holy crap, how did a nod to an awesome song turn into this?

Sorry man, I've been straightened out.... I just shouldn't be allowed to post until I've fully woken up 8) thanks for the kinds words!

[Albatross]

Power down, homey. Please. And to help the dancing image, refer to Frank Zappa's Dancin' Fool.

You must be a Libra.

Oh, and for the record, I dug Bolio's track as well (although I didn't actually dance).

[HeuristicsInc]

Hey Albatross... how do you like this dancing image (perhaps you've seen it before, but I thought it was entertaining.)

I have seen that, in fact, IIRC, someone here once used it as an avatar. Was that you?

That was Mr. Jon Eric. I think.
-bill

[j$]

Since no-one else is, My reviews. IMO. Written as I listen.

15-16- starts off as a joy division (well Warsaw) demo - which is great. I'm not that found of the vocal stylee - but the Knack ~ 79'80 punk is rockin' my ankles. I actually think that the woohs and la las are unneccessary - it might work more efficiently without them ....

Allegory - You have managed to make your vocal sound like a sample. Kudos for that.

Arts Invisible - starts well - in a Mike Oldfield with vocals way - oh, that's it?

The Bewells - Good can sample. Cheesy but works, with the cheesy simple chord sequence straight after. Goes terribly folk after that and loses my interest - but nice enough song. Why are all these pleasing female voices on SF singing pretty songs? Contrast, ladies, contrast! Even good things can leave a bad aftertaste' doesn't sit very well in my book of song lines ... pleasant tune, mind.

Bolio - Synth is too loud! Not quite dirty enough to be Cameo - which I think it wants to be. But good for where it ended up, if you know what I mean. Maybe just a few bpm faster would take the edge off of it. At the moment it sounds like a very well produced drunken sunday afternoon jam.

Consume - is this Consume, Vagina Boy from a few fights ago? Nice punk riff. Needs more of a chorus to fully work, but I appreciate it. It also works very well as an intro to ....

Def_Author - Ascertain / aspertaime is at once a clever rhyme and a little too clever. The music is only a compilment to the wordy rap, which is a shame. I was hoping for more of a hook than the chorus. Interesting this is the second 'old school rap' song (third if you include the music Allegory should have had to back him up)

8L0 -Great guitar guitar tone - shame you didn't did do more with the music. Nice vocal harmonies. It sounds like a Grandaddy song waiting to kick in. Casual Zombie-referencing puts me on my guard. When it kicks in the drums sound a bit weird. Not bad, not good, just oddly out of keeping with the tone I imagined up to that point. Nice. But I haven't checked to see if you have a song in the other fight. If you do, please substitute this review for DFTMT.

Me - I really hate that 'joyless sham' line. I think after first verse and bridge the vocals settle and it works. That'll teach me to record hungover in three hours. Still kudos for me for mispronouncing Aspertaime in a way that no-one else has.

King Arthur - I like country, I like the odd (unintentional?) parody of the commercial soundtrack (a la 'I'd like to teach the world to sing'). Are you singing in a slightly deeper register than usual? I think it was done at about 2.05 to be honest. Not my favourite King Arthur (though I like 'my heart goes bumpity-bump') maybe it's because I'm a 3-4 litre of diet coke a day man ....

Manhattan Glutton - sounds like a quite cool voice underneath that ouchity-ouch guitar tone. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I think this song was done at 0:33ish. Not that what follows is unpleasant but the impact fades and nothing rears up to take its place. By 1.30 I was wondering what would come next.

Mellified Frankie - I love the chorus, as I said elsewhere. The reference to 'cigarettes' really make me think of 'Time' But damn that chorus is catchy.

Rabid Garfunkel - I like this as a creepy dance remix of an Addams Family-style themetune. But I really really wish there were double-time drums right through this. And another instrument across the chorus. Could have been fabulous, as is - just good.

RatPoison - The guitar has a feel of a sample. If it's not, well done. Sped-up vocals don't really work. four good song ideas hurried into one dis-satisfying song. Not badly done at all, but just a bit too 'I don't give a damn' for my tastes.

W - why do Wreckdom songs always start so well for me, then I am bored when the vocals come in? I mean they're not even bad vocals. I just don't get excited like others do. I guess if I did, this would be prime wreckdom, if massively 'I want to win' mainstream.

Zombie Sneak Attack - You'll have to forgive me - is that a sample at the start? Because for the first 20 seconds you had my vote, then it went all hentai kitty death and lost me totally.

And Mouth Reliant - Doodly. Evervescent. Visceral. O hang on a moment .... certainly E-Z listening ... Cute but silly. 4:33 of this is ramming home the point rather unneccessarily.

Hmmm not a bad fight at all, but no-one immediately jumps out. I don't really want to vote for FBF or 15-16 Puzzle, if only because I always end up voting for them, and it's not like they particularly need the support of the South London Jury ... oh damn it, one of those two!

j$

[MouthReliant]

actually. mouth reliant is hardly a n00b.

yeah...I've been here since "My Sister" in '01. Damn.

[Eric Y.]

so here are some artificially sweet reviews i did for you with some complementary (though not necessarily complimentary) commentary from asya.

15-16 puzzle - didn't really grab my attention for the most part, but i liked the sound of it a lot; has a nice full sound which i liked -- i especially enjoyed the ooh-la-la-la's -- but somehow it was missing some kind of like sparkle or something that would really make me take notice of it.
the lyrics lacked any real passion; it was too literal for me, but all in all it was a pretty okay song.

allegory - this was one of the stupidest things i've ever heard, but that really doesn't matter. it was hilarious, and i'm sure you had a ton of fun making it, and that's all that really counts isn't it?
funny, definitely funny. you sound like the love child of arlo guthrie and brak.

ants (invisible) - huh? what did you say?
ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

bewells, the - it seems kinda incongruous to have such a lovely song about such a silly subject. i love the sound of it. what was up with that outro though? weird.
it's a nice song; a little folk-music-ish for my taste, but you have a really pretty tone to your voice.

bolio - i'm really not sure what to think about this -- it's pretty confusing for the most part. i mean, kinda strange and "out there" and not at all what i expected from you. i really like the chorus, and how the take-the-money-and-run sample fits in, and i like the "message deleted" bit at the very end. also, i'm going to pretend i don't know what you mean when you mention "pepsi free" because it makes me feel way too old getting that reference.
not bad, pretty original, although i think it could use more rockin guitar samples. i'm thinking, like the intro to the edgar winters group's "frankenstein".

consume - the music is kinda interesting. i'd suggest leaving out the "1-2-3-4" part. and maybe the rest of the vocals. and adding some more different vocals. by somebody else. preferably ones that sound cooler.
that's bullshit. what's aspartame's other name? fuck you for leading us on like that.

def author, the - the first 1:42 is really great. lyrics are great, bassline is great, etc. but then the "this is bad/this is good" part comes in and i really didn't dig that part so much. and the part right after that i had trouble hearing what you were saying. so i'm afraid as a whole this didn't live up to the high standard i've come to expect from def author songs. but it was still better than a lot of other stuff i've heard.
oh, it's glenn! i didn't like this song as much as i've liked some of your other songs but i think with a little polish it could be better. and it's definitely my favorite so far today.

eight legged oedipus - one might think that with eight legs you'd be able to play a more interesting guitar part. and a more interesting drum part.
oh, these drums are horrible. they ruin an otherwise perfectly okay song. also the way you say "aaaah spaaaaaaaarrr taaaaaaaame" really fucking irritates me.

johnny cashpoint - i can't think of a single thing i didn't like about this song. the intro was really good, i liked the guitar part an awful lot, the vocal style was really nice and worked with the guitar really well, and the lyrics were rather amusing. especially at the end.
i liked this song, it made me smile. also, your accent is really hot. with two t's. hott.

king arthur - good job king, i'm glad you decided to submit this. the guitar playing is well-done and the vocals sound great -- i like the way they're doubled for part of each line. i especially liked the choruses. the overall feel of this (and especially the "the trouble with..." line) has me thinking about "casey jones" for some reason.
cute song. your voice sounds really nice and clear. this is like radio-friendly grateful dead.

manhattan glutton - i like the chord progression a bunch. particularly on the verses -- some of the chords in there remind me of black sabbath's "laguna sunrise". the singing sounds decent too. the recording quality here isn't the greatest but in spite of that it still sounds like a pretty good song. all except for that awful hard-panning bit towards the end.
uhhh, 'salright. but i'm ready to choke you for that "aspartayayayayayame".

mellified man - oh, hi frankie i probably needn't even say anything because you know how much i love all your songs. the chord you hit before the pause at 1:13 sounds particularly "ground control to major tom"esque. also the little chromatic run at 0:20 really makes me think of glenn's "please the pig" -- but it's possible that song's just been stuck in my head constantly since i totally screwed up the bassline in austin.
"you should know..." that i love this song and i love your voice. i especially like the fact that you took the title but didn't go so literal with it -- i'm really tired of hearing about equal -- and i definitely feel like this title lends itself to more creativity than the actual subject matter. this is without a doubt my favorite of the fight so far.

rabid garfunkel - i always wondered what would happen if you slowed down the clash and got ian curtis to sing for them. thanks!
sounds like jim morrison on ritalin.

rattpoison - i liked the "asperatomy" part. the rest wasn't too great but, whatever.
ah, looks like beavis and butthead submitted a song this week. that's a minute and a half of my life i'll never get back, thanks.

wreckdom - there's some pretty good stuff hidden in here but i think it's mixed really poorly. all the wrong elements seem to be highlighted, and i can't understand anything that you're saying.
this is like a creepy nightmare i can't wake up from. thank god it's over.

zombie sneak attack - the all new zombie sneak attack 3000! it slices, it dices, it splices, it sucks!
and this pertains to aspartame... how?

in summation, the def author, johnny cashpoint, and king arthur all had really strong contenders this week, but the clear winner for both of us is mellified man.

[erik]

too literal

There's lots of literal imagery here, but it's really just acting as a metaphor for something else.

[Poor June]

Hey Albatross... how do you like this dancing image (perhaps you've seen it before, but I thought it was entertaining.)

I have seen that, in fact, IIRC, someone here once used it as an avatar. Was that you?

generic had it if i remember right

[Lunkhead]

Dang, that's what happens when you try to pick on n00bs, you only prove yourself to be a n00b. I swear I have learned my lesson this time, honest!

[Mac]

You can pick on me. I've only followed songfight for a year, and only posted on the forums for like the last two months I think...
[edit: Hah! only 1 month.]

(King Arthur for King! got my vote, and the vote of my friend listening to the stream of songs with me as soon as he got home to vote. our heads bobbed.)

[hillbilly]

Sweet Bewell, enjoy my vote.

[Bolio]

bolio - "pepsi free"

A bit of Nostalgia here - Pepsi Free was created during the Cola War of the early 80's. And of course, it doesn't mean anything here. I use a lot of big words in this song, but they don't mean squat.

My reviews coming later today or tomorrow.

[Eric Y.]

King Arthur for King! got my vote, and the vote of my friend listening to the stream of songs with me as soon as he got home to vote.

"you don't vote for kings!"
"well 'ow'd you become king, then?"

um.
also: bolio, perhaps you misread my comment but i said i was pretending to not know what pepsi free was, so as not to feel as old as i do. unless you are likewise pretending i don't know, and pretending to explain it to me?

[Bolio]

Reviews….
15-16 Puzzle – You never stop singing, this isn’t a bad thing but a break from the vox somewhere would have helped IMO. And maybe some vocal effects to make them sound more like part of the song. As it is, vocals sound separate to me. But I loved the progression & performance, melody is o.k.

Allegory – Cool in a coffee shop maybe, I’d love to join in on the congas. Some interesting twists in the story. Songs like this have to be very funny or very clever to get more than one listen though. Singing the outro was a nice addition.

Ants (Invisible) – Wow. Great vocals, at times have the Beatles ‘Sun King’ quality to them. Good job as far as that goes. But it’s too short & what does this have to do with Aspartame anyway?

The BeWells – Very nice, this vocal style really works for me (almost whispering, so cool.) Backrounds are equally beautiful… song really reminds me of The Bells “Stay Awhile’ from the 60’s (vocally), but if you heard it you’d probably think I’m crazy. This is ‘right on’ tonewise. Accompanied by an appropriately nice guitar part, keeper & possible vote.

Me – I think I came close to pulling off this genre. Recorded this song on an allnighter & if I didn’t have to get to work I would have made the chorus vox more interesting, as it is they are an afterthought (there’s no excuse for me to continue putting out vox this bad.) Plat made the track with his wacky questions on the Aspartame Hotline. Hopefully I’m back to near-weekly songfighting!

Consume – This wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t mixed into a big blob. The drums stick out & sound nice clear, but the rest is lost. Points for the tempo change. Points taken away for a short song. Plenty of good ideas here & if you learn how to mix you might be competitive on Songfight! in the future.

Def Author – Not enough variation to hold my attention……. & I’ve never said that about a GC song. The chorus is a cool little change I guess…. No lyrics are posted & I’m missing that little bit of humor that usually ends up in your songs, please don’t shatter my image & lead me to believe you have a serious side. Alas, they can’t all be keepers.

Eight Legged Oedipus – This intro is teh awesome! Cool chord progression performed well with execellent vox. Love the way the song builds. This song is very unique, from the drum beats to the vocals, and that’s the first thing that set’s songs apart from each other for me. Some small timing problems in the drums. Glad you didn’t overproduce it, love hearing every little thing on a song like this. Possible vote.

Johnny $ - Love the first line. Nice melody, good guitar performance. Ooh a turnaround ending in an augmented chord! Hints of Paul Simon strumming. Love how the backround vox are deep in the backround. Great ear candy as far as I’m concerned.

King Arthur – Excellent performance all the way around. KA shoots a dose of class into country music, you nailed this genre! You always sing with such confidence (& that was ‘The Church’ by the way.) “My Heart Goes Boppity-Bop”, great line. Great song, even if it is country.

Manhattan Glutton – Love the verse melody (even if it is sung a little off.) Chorus was then somewhat of a letdown for me. Some of the ay-ee-ay-ee’s were a tad off but no big deal for this style. Pretty good Guitar performance. I would really love to hear this song in a full band format loudly amplified, I think it has great potential.

Mellifed Man – Very nice guitar performance. Didn’t think much of the first listen, but after the second listen, I’m hooked on this progression. It’s original, yet reminds me a lot of Hendrix’s “Little-Wing”…. Stevie Ray Vaughn’s version. What I always harp on about Boy + Guitar is you need a great progression, great melody & great performance for it to work & this has it all. Keeping this song, totally love it.

Rabid – I can groove to this (currently looking for a coworker to dance with.) Don’t know if you were trying to sound like Jim Morrison, but you do, especially when the tremolo guitar kicks in (a pleasant surprise), crank it a little more. I’m picturing Val Kilmer playing Jim Morrison singing ‘Big Scary Gumball.’ Easily my favorite Rabid song so far, keeper.

RATTPoison – I used to listen to some RATT (and you’re BACK! you’re BACK FOR MORE!! You TURN AWAY…..) Anyway back to this review. A variety show, my favorite. Many different styles wrapped up here, hope you didn’t waste all of your samples on one song. Hearing a lot of neat things, flute solo is cool (almost too perfect.) Way too short.

WreckdoM - The sounds you put together here work well for me, love the backround oohs & aahs. Rambling talking does nothing for me, if there was a chorus with singing this would have worked better IMO.

Zombie Sneak Attack – Is an attack by zombies ever announced? Pretty bad, this is the way WreckdoM was when they started posting. At least you’ve proved that they have come a long way.

Great Great Fight. BeWells song was exceptional & Oedipus & King Arthur also, but my vote goes to Mellified Man for that Gem.

[Morbid Morgan]

You know, in the 17 years I've known Garf, I don't think I've ever seen him dance.

Now, whether I'd WANT to, that's a debate for another time...

I would just like to say, a day late, that you are lucky my friend. To watch Rabid dance is like watching an autistic child grooving to Barney. My personal favorite is his impression of a mummy....ah funny....

[Verbatim]

in summation, the def author, johnny cashpoint, and king arthur all had really strong contenders this week, but the clear winner for both of us is mellified man.

Yes and I just voted for the first time this week so Mellified Man did recieve two votes from the bf/gf review...

Wow I really love this song Mellified Man! def author great song too !


-Asya

[Jim of Seattle]

Reviews….
Ants (Invisible) – Wow. Great vocals, at times have the Beatles ‘Sun King’ quality to them. Good job as far as that goes. But it’s too short & what does this have to do with Aspartame anyway?
.

The lyrics are

Kiss so sweet
But something was missing

It sounds to me like a subtle reference to aspartame.

[Bolio]

It sounds to me like a subtle reference to aspartame.

You're right. The only problem I have with the song is it's length. The vocals hit that awesome 7th chord & I think 'cool! where is this gonna go now?' and then the song ends. This isn't you, is it?