The Song Fight Bulletin Board

orangepeel420 wrote:I'm of the opinion that television is a colossal waste of one's mind and time. I don't find anything remotely stimulating about sitting in front of a box for hours at a time watching something that is all too often interrupted by idiots trying to sell me something that I couldn't care less about. Oh and reality tv? Who came up with that idea? Let me know, would you. I'd like to write them a letter to "thank" them on the deterioration of decent, intelligent society.

This is what I call a good troll. You should teach trolling at a community college or something.

In general. This is a weird beginning to a thread. In general... damn.. and I'm at a loss. I guess, in general, songfighters secretly await days like this, when someone stumbles into this world, opinions first... I certainly enjoed JB's rant, and perhaps we could have a few more if we're lucky, before his sensiblities get the better of him, and he deletes any offenses.... speaking of offenses, I must continue Jack's thought, as CLEARLY he forgot one mroe top ten list....

Ten people I would have over for intimate relations if I was not married. (Of course, like every married man, my wife is my universe, and the following list are, of course, those that pale in comparision to the splendor that is my wife. Who is about to bat me in the head... but I digress...


In general...
10) Lois Griffin. (rawr.)
9) Chloe Sullivan. (naughty naughty reporter from Smallville)
8) Lana Lang. (Yes, I would do what Clark never will...both those ladies.)
7) Marge Simpson. (C'mon. Think of the stories you could tell.)
6) Loonette from the Big Comfy Couch. (Seriously. This one always makes Dana laugh, but something about that chick with a bright red nose and those pants...damn. I'd clean up her couch in under two minutes I tell ya. )
5) I was offered Oprah, but I'll hit on that kinky Lois Griffen again... (double rawr.)
4.Speaking of Lois's, how about Malcom's mom? Not so much cause she's hot, but more cause she could use the diversion...
3-1. ummm..... I don't really do a lot of tv lusting actually, so I think I'll tackle Chloe, Lana and Lois Lane for my top three picks... ya know, in general.

leaf...the only woman i've even heard of from your list is marge, and frankly, that choice scares me.

Besides, she already turned down both artie ziff and moe szyslak.
you think you got what it takes??
-bill

HeuristicsInc wrote:Besides, she already turned down both artie ziff and moe szyslak.
you think you got what it takes??
-bill

She had her head turned by Jacques Brunswick though - use a French accent and a bowling ball, Marge is anybodys.

jack shite wrote:10 people from TV i'd like to have over for dinner

and three more

Nadia DiGiallonardo
Tammy Lynn Michaels
Sara Rue
Sarah Chalke
Christa Miller Lawrence
Amber Tamblyn
Annie Potts
Nikki Cox
Jill Hennessey
Jennifer Garner
Parminder Nagra
Maya Rudolph
Patricia Arquette

ok. i'm amending my list to include 1516-puzzle. (if he brings all those fine ladies....).

jill hennessey. man, she has gotten finer with age. she was cute on law and order but she is smoking now. yummy....

Kamakura wrote:

jack shite wrote:God blessed america. don't you forget it.

God blessed England first.

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for Six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet, replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance".

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot." "Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people" God continued, pointing to different countries. "And over there, I call this place America. North America will be rich and powerful and cold, while South America will be poor, and hot and friendly. And the little spot in the middle is Central America which is a Hot spot. Can you see the balance?"

"Yes" said the Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then he pointed to a large land mass and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah" said God. "That's Australia, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, rainforests, rivers, streams and an exquisite coast line. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable, strong in character citizens who will be admired and feared by all who come across them".

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then exclaimed, "You said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the ugly sheep-shagging bastards I'm putting next to them in New Zealand"


(please insert USA/Canada, England/Wales, Chad/Burkina Faso etc. as you see fit...)

We disconnected the cable back in '98 and I don't feel like I've missed too much.

***SIDE NOTE: How cool is it to be a turn-of-the-century person? I get to say "back in '98" and instantly sound like an old codger.***

Anyway, there are a few things that I miss about the old glass tit.

1) Contemporary cartoons like The Simpsons, Adult Swim, etc. (Adult Swim wasn't around back then, but I've seen a few episodes of a few shows online, and boy howdy.)
2) Boomerang. Back in my day we had to get up at 5am to catch Underdog...
3) The NFL. All the pre-game junk is entirely disposable, but if you tune in right at kickoff, you can pretend it's still just a football game.
4) MST3K. But I'm one of the weirdos who prefers Joel Hodgson over Mike Nelson.

Anyway, the few bright spots still don't justify the cost, so no cable for me. And in regards to reality television, I love the concept but am disappointed at what I've seen of the execution, which is admittedly little. Every now and then I'm playing in a club and I'll glance over at the television and some pretty girl is trying to eat a slug or something. Ick.

i liked joel better, too.

Jimmy T, The NFL and The Simpons float through the air, if you turned on your glass tit without the benifits of cable..you'd find that they are still there!

the tonight show tonight. ann coulter is on. so is george carlin. this is going to be good watching.

Well I finally watched this. George didn't say shit and I was disappointed.