Ready the polygraph! (Keep All Your Promises reviews)

[Madren]

I think you might've just invented multiple-vote abuse.

From the voting blurb at the bottom of the front page

Check all the good ones, don't check any of the bad ones, then press the vote!

There are gradated scales of "good" for me, but all of those levels are nonetheless "good", and I'd like to have a few high fiery hoops for seasoned songwriters to jump for without setting the newcomers ablaze. Did I do a bad thing?

[Ross]

Did I do a bad thing?

Nah - he's just razzing you.

[Manhattan Glutton]

Adam - Groovy intro. Nice floaty instrumentation. Vocals muddled. Vocal melody unexciting and repetitive.

Architects of Desire - Catchy and smooth. Feels a little on the thin side and electronic, but very well done.

Balance Lost - Immediately, this feels too loud and compressed. You're straining to hit some of those notes, so if you bumped the key down that might help. Jangly, poppy, and enjoyable, but rough around the edges with flat vocals and poor mixing.

Barton Stink - What is this, a Linkin Park cover with MIDI? Not bad, but the instrumentation is boring and the vocals are a cliche of a cliche.

Bingy Swirley - "One year ago... this song started..." Nice vocals. If this song went somewhere and didn't have tempo problems, it would be pretty good. I'm not sure what you're doing with the drums, but if they were tighter, the trash can sound would be creative and not just annoying.

Chthonic Youth - Nice guitar tone. Sounds like you borrowed the garbage can snare from Bingy above. Nice vocals. You're not selling me on the chorus, it just doesn't feel strong and hooky enough for the hard instrumentation. Nice change up at 1:40. The layered vocals could be just a tad tighter with each other.

C. Layne - Interesting intro, you've got me anticipating some awesomeness. Now it's getting too long. Finally, the song starts. Nice groove but still anti-climactic - now I'm waiting for the chorus to really blast my pants off. And it doesn't. This song is just one big cock tease. It's one of those songs that could be played during a montage of people walking through the desert. It's nice and sweet and excepetionally done, but not meant to be captivating in its own right.

Cobalt Stomach - You are singing below your vocal range and it hurts the song immensely. Too much boring synth and not enough variation or real instruments.

Fortunes Favorite - You need to find much, much better synth sounds. Too much awkward melody and not enough sweetness. I like the change at 1:30, but it's already too late and the rest of the song is all the same.

Interchangables - I like to see improvement, and this is a great improvement over the last one. The song structure's still a little tame and uninspired. The lyrics are cute, especially about the car. You really need to nail a good vocal take and add some layers, harmonies, etc.

James Owens - Hooray, not a G&G. Nice piano work, it sounds like a nice, real piano, too! You're still singing a little like someone is asleep in the next room, and some of the timing is a little off. This is a very prolific song, and as such it could use at least 5 to 10 more layers of vocals and instruments at the chorus segments to contrast more with the quiet parts.

Jeff Robertson and the neo-cheerleaders - Synth is way out of place. Instrumentation borders on being too loose, timing-wise. Chorus is too much like the verse and it starts to feel a little loopy.

King Arthur - The instrumentation is very oldies-reminiscent. Vocals almost capture the era as well. They're off at points which breaks the illusion. I like your chorus hook. You're just missing a few layers and a better vocal take to end up on the oldies station.

LML - Cool vibe. Too loopy. Real instruments and harmony vocals really need to kick in at the first chorus. Bridge is kind of pointless. Vocal performance is mostly perfect for the sound you want.

Lucky Spoon - A+ You already know what I think, mostly. The section before the outro vocals feels a little empty after the sweetness of the rest, and I hope you didn't add it just to extend the length of the song.

Manhattan Glutton - I wanted to make the most terrible good-sounding song I could muster.

Menbah - You're putting techno drums to a completely different genre, which would be fine if they were on-beat. Pretty thin sound altogether. Nice layering of vocals.

Mister Mann - It would make a good church song. You could have doubled the tempo. Good singing, but too thin and repetitious altogether.

Montana Fudge - This is obviously a joke song.

Ross Durand - Amazing, simply amazing. My favorite R.D. song that I can remember. You really had a clear vision and nailed it with this one.

Sober Irishman - Chorus is a good change and pretty unique. The verse is kind of boring, but you spice it up with your harmonies and layers.

State Shirt - Good production as usual. The melody and chord changes reminds me of some song I don't know the name of. The distorted parts just don't feel like they fit. Again, a pretty good chilling song (mostly) but the hook isn't hooking me.

Styop Quoons - I'm not sure I can listen to this.

Suckweasel - You submitted a G&G late? The vocal performance is mostly good, as is the guitar playing. Sadly, the melody and chord structure isn't awesome enough to stand on its own.

Therman - The guitar tone feels like your amp's inside a cardboard box - which is cool if you like that sound. I'm not sure what to make of the trumpet. The song itself feels like a few scattered ideas without a clear goal.

Torrentz - Immediately, I like this song. And immediately I feel a little dirty because it reminds me of songs I don't like. But that's OK because I have an open mind. The rapping is excellent, though I must say I like the first verse better because it's got the british accent and doesn't have the "non-rapper rapper impression" feel of the second verse. The third verse is definitely the weakest, with timing and mic'ing problems (but good lyrics!). So yeah, good choices with the ordering there. Excellent production. Could use a little variation with song structure (verse chorus verse chorus verse chorus).

UX MPUZM - Is this a joke? Thin and the vocals are annoying.

Wages - Heart to heart - get a metronome and spend some time getting your takes down. It's a good song idea, but just running the vocals through an FX doesn't help the vocal and guitar mistakes. I don't think anyone would be impressed with this performance live, so recording it as if it were a live take only amplifies that. Just like TV adds 10 pounds vs real life appearance, the same goes with songs.

Weakest Suit - Another waltz! These lasers are intolerable.

WTFBBS - You keep changing your name, but you keep sucking at rapping.

Picks: Architects of Desire, Lucky Spoon, Ross Durand, Torrentz
(what variety!)

[wages]

Wages - Heart to heart - get a metronome and spend some time getting your takes down. It's a good song idea, but just running the vocals through an FX doesn't help the vocal and guitar mistakes. I don't think anyone would be impressed with this performance live, so recording it as if it were a live take only amplifies that. Just like TV adds 10 pounds vs real life appearance, the same goes with songs.

I suppose you've come up to the real problem of mine: hate to practice. I will try to get better at playing with the metronome. Learning the keyboard is, I think, helping, plus I start taking bass lessons on Thursday.

Oh, BTW, I'm taking my Les Paul in to get the intonation set, so when I next record electric guitar, it shouldn't sound out of tune.

[The Weakest Suit]

yes, my entry is just a G+G, but i decided to add the "laser" effects to give people something different to bitch about. it seems to have worked.

[LML]

I'm seriously shocked that some of you expect a DANCE song to not be loopy. It's a DANCE song, a Lady Gaga. Pointless and transparent was what I was going for. If you expected something of substance then you're just gonna be disappointed.

[Sober]

Interesting way to set aside the late entries with a dunce cap.

I'll get to reviews in the next day or two.

[irwin]

Interesting way to set aside the late entries with a dunce cap.

Nice, I like it.

[AJOwens]

A "dunce cap" (nice image!) -- and significantly, no checkbox.

I'm seriously shocked that some of you expect a DANCE song to not be loopy. It's a DANCE song, a Lady Gaga. Pointless and transparent was what I was going for. If you expected something of substance then you're just gonna be disappointed.

Just to clarify, I have no objection to the loopiness. It's integral to the out-of-control machine effect.

Manhattan Glutton said,
James Owens - Hooray, not a G&G. Nice piano work, it sounds like a nice, real piano, too! You're still singing a little like someone is asleep in the next room, and some of the timing is a little off. This is a very prolific song, and as such it could use at least 5 to 10 more layers of vocals and instruments at the chorus segments to contrast more with the quiet parts.

I'm not sure if "not a G&G" was directed at me or not. For Crush, I made my excuses and belated amends. The only intentional G&G I've submitted was quite popular. -- The piano is Reason's excellent NN-19 sample. I have a real one but it's a little out of tune. -- The singing is soft because I believe I've been singing too loud for most of my life and I'm trying to get it under control, and also I wanted an intimate, personal quality (because it went over so well with the G&G). But maybe I''ve overcompensated; thanks for the feedback. -- Thanks also for suggesting more layers in the chorus. I did have a second string track and some flute and synthetic oboe lines, but the song began to lose its authenticity, so I pulled them out. Adding layers is apparently a delicate business. It takes time for me to work out harmonies that build the mood rather than just thicken the sound.

Madren wrote,
It's like Billy Joel and a 1950s crooner got together and recorded this. For said crooner, I would say Frank Sinatra, but it would take alot more for me to make that comparison. You're good, but Frank's level of croonage is kind of a whole different animal.

That's for sure! I didn't really think of myself as crooning; interesting. I bet I could do a mean Bing Crosby! But for the allusions to go from Frank Zappa to Frank Sinatra in a few fights -- well! Next stop Frankie Laine?

[Spud]

Interesting way to set aside the late entries with a dunce cap.

If the shoe hat fits...

[roymond]

I'm seriously shocked that some of you expect a DANCE song to not be loopy. It's a DANCE song, a Lady Gaga. Pointless and transparent was what I was going for. If you expected something of substance then you're just gonna be disappointed.

You seem to suggest the only (and desired) style for a dance song is loopiness. Maybe you mean club...whatever...?

People danced before the 80s. I read that somewhere.

[AJOwens]

People danced before the 80s. I read that somewhere.

Your sources are incomplete. For about a decade they just sat with glazed eyes in the presence of music, occasionally waving lighters until they noticed their fingers were burning.

[roymond]

Your sources are incomplete. For about a decade they just sat with glazed eyes in the presence of music, occasionally waving lighters until they noticed their fingers were burning.

You too? I have scars from that Yes concert in Hartford.

[wages]

Interesting way to set aside the late entries with a dunce cap.

Nice, I like it.

I don't see the dunce cap! Was it a limited time only?

Great idea anyway. You probably thought this was coming... I hope you continue to do this.

[AJOwens]

The remaining reviews. Unfortunately for those in the second half of the alphabet, I seem to be in a less patient mood this evening.


Manhattan Glutton - Brisk sound; I like the out-of-phase bass. The repeat-and-fade from Hey Jude meets the trumpet from Cake, but with a whole lot else going on. The changing treatments keep things interesting. Fun. Well done.

MENBAH! - THe percussion takes me back to my days in university, as I performed hunt-and-peck on a real typewriter. The choir, and indeed the entire piece, seems held together by string and Scotch tape.

Mister Mann - Melodic, with very good singing, but repetitive and a little slow to develop. I find myself listening to the lyrics for want of anything else to occupy my attention, but in an unfortunate bit of bad timing they're about counting ceiling tiles. At 4:45 the song picks up, with a faster pace in the melody and a repeated rising pattern quickening my interest. Then it reverts. The overall effect by minute six is that I am lulled into submission. The deliberately played arpeggio at the end does not seem to emerge naturally from the song; it feels added on for its own sake.

Montana Fudge - I'm too old for this, uh, humour. But the music is OK -- a bit unfocussed, because all the instruments are mixed down into a vague background. Better you should do that to the lyrics! But seriously, something in the instrumentation needs to step forward and own the song. Also the piano and guitar stay busy in their own separate worlds, without really working together. Nice trumpet solo.

Ross Durand - The lyrics, being out front, take charge of my attention. Besides being thoughtful and clever, they are well integrated into the melody and arrangement. The music actively communicates them, rather than merely serving as a background. Sweet jangling textures, effective drama in the pauses, unusual high bass lines that work. Tightly played and authentically sung. Feels like a real song. The musical composition is often unadventurous, and for a traditional sound that's what's needed, but the price is that you don't really notice the virtues of the song until you pay close attention to the details.

State Shirt - Dramatic and strong, with confident singing (though very slightly nasal in places). The harmonies seem subtly dissonant; if that's intentional, I don't think it helps. Good contrasts and buildup.

Styop Quoons - Normally I listen through, but here I feel my time is being wasted. I might possibly entertain it as an experiment for five minutes, but ten -- that's just insulting. All the same, there are days when I might want to lie down in a dark room and listen to this.

Therman - Heavy, punchy, very cool sound, with some surprising original twists of harmony and instrumentation that take it well clear of the grunting it could have turned into. I like it.

Torrentz - Snappy. The rap is crisp and rhythmically entertaining. The semitone rise is used to good effect. The chorus is sweet, and its tone fits perfectly. Very nice.

Ux Mpuzm - Lyrics that keep us guessing, but like the music, they begin to feel aimless. For me, this happened at about minute two. After that I was biding time, hoping but not really expecting something more. By 4:38 I was thinking of bailing, but it was almost over anyway so I sat it out. The childlike tune had a certain charm, and the quirky vocal pitch and timbre was almost fun, but for me, the novelty wore off quickly.

Wages - Your voice has a lot of character, and when it's on pitch, as it often is here, it's impressive. Sometimes it goes off pitch, and not in a controlled good way; more like an atonal, not-sure-what-the note-is-supposed-to-be way. I think you need to work on that. Sometimes it's off pitch in a deliberate blue-note way, which is good -- in your case, very good. I think you know also that your guitar playing is sometimes a bit sloppy, with fumbled notes. Sounds like you might have a high action that makes it tough to get the strings down to the fretboard properly. Lighter strings can help with that, if you watch out for the bendiness that comes with light strings.

The Weakest Suit - Lasers, is that what they're called? I hate them. At first I thought something had gone horribly wrong with your MP3. Set those aside, and this is a bright, clear recording of a not-bad composition, with a good driving rhythm.

WTFBBS - Hard to understand, perhaps because of the mics, but I think there's a bit of mumbling or rushing going on too. Very repetitive. One of the things I enjoy about rap, to the extent that I understand the genre, is the rhythmic play of syllables between and across lines, but here each line is locked to a very similar rhythm and I don't enjoy it as much. The "spy" stuff at the end is fun.

[AJOwens]

I don't see the dunce cap! Was it a limited time only?

Purely metaphorical. There was no dunce cap GIF or anything like that (unless I missed it too.) When I said it was a nice image, I meant in the literary sense, not the literal sense.

[wages]

I don't see the dunce cap! Was it a limited time only?

Purely metaphorical. There was no dunce cap GIF or anything like that (unless I missed it too.) When I said it was a nice image, I meant in the literary sense, not the literal sense.

Damn, the visual would have been awesome, but I like the verb-age all the same.

[LML]

Oh yes, because a 21 year old is going to make a dance song from the 70's. Totally plausible. I'm trying to make a dance song from this decade. Lady Gaga is classified as dance/pop. If you've ever been to a music store, that's where it would be. I'm not talking about music you dance to. I'm not stupid enough to think that. Old people, Jesus!

ETA: Also, come up with a dance/pop song (that isn't new wave or depeche mode) that has true musical integrity with no repetitiveness... something none of us have heard a million times before. At least I didn't layer the song by adding one loop at a time. Be thankful that I'm not THAT lazy.

[AJOwens]

Oh yes, because a 21 year old is going to make a dance song from the 70's. Totally plausible. I'm trying to make a dance song from this decade. Lady Gaga is classified as dance/pop. If you've ever been to a music store, that's where it would be. I'm not talking about music you dance to. I'm not stupid enough to think that. Old people, Jesus!

ETA: Also, come up with a dance/pop song (that isn't new wave or depeche mode) that has true musical integrity with no repetitiveness... something none of us have heard a million times before. At least I didn't layer the song by adding one loop at a time. Be thankful that I'm not THAT lazy.

You want to know how old I am? When I said "loopy" I meant "silly" or "crazy." I didn't mean loops. They're way too much work -- all that tape splicing! I don't know how you young ones can stand it. I guess your fingers are still supple.

[Madren]

Mister Mann - It would make a good church song. You could have doubled the tempo. Good singing, but too thin and repetitious altogether.

Meh, I kinda like the thinness, but I agree with the doubled tempo thing. I had no intention of making it as long as it ended up being when I started.

Mister Mann - Melodic, with very good singing, but repetitive and a little slow to develop. I find myself listening to the lyrics for want of anything else to occupy my attention, but in an unfortunate bit of bad timing they're about counting ceiling tiles. At 4:45 the song picks up, with a faster pace in the melody and a repeated rising pattern quickening my interest. Then it reverts. The overall effect by minute six is that I am lulled into submission. The deliberately played arpeggio at the end does not seem to emerge naturally from the song; it feels added on for its own sake.

Lol at starting to listen to the lyrics at ceiling tiles. And yeah, you caught me: I just felt like adding an arpeggio at the end to pretend I'm much better at the guitar than I am. Props for staying awake until minute 6.

I like this and I might re-record it later with not-so-slow playing and singing. Not sure if I want to add much on top of it, but I'll experiment when the time comes.

From both of you (since this has been a problem of mine in the past), could you elaborate a bit on what you mean by repetitive? Is it the song structure? Is it the melody line? Is it the arrangement? Is it everything? (I won't be offended if you say this, so please be honest) Are there any recommendations that you could make for maybe how I could work on it? Coming from originally working with synth loops this is a BIG Achilles' heel of mine that I'd like to improve on.

I'm seriously shocked that some of you expect a DANCE song to not be loopy. It's a DANCE song, a Lady Gaga. Pointless and transparent was what I was going for. If you expected something of substance then you're just gonna be disappointed.

I'm confused. Where did they say that dance ISN'T loopy? They just said your song was too loopy for their tastes. They may not like dance music at all. That is their prerogative. You can't win them all. And I for one did like your song.

Oh yes, because a 21 year old is going to make a dance song from the 70's. Totally plausible. I'm trying to make a dance song from this decade. Lady Gaga is classified as dance/pop. If you've ever been to a music store, that's where it would be. I'm not talking about music you dance to. I'm not stupid enough to think that. Old people, Jesus!

Au contraire, dance music is music that has a danceable beat and you're supposed to be able to dance to , even though many people don't. It is (somewhat) defined by repeated phrases to give dancers a chance to sync moves with the music in improvisation as they can anticipate what's coming next with a repetitive song structure. It's more specifically defined, though, by a steady, straightforward rhythm. Good examples include Daft Punk, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Fatboy Slim, Orbital, etc. There is often significant overlap between pop and dance because pop structures are simple enough to often have straightforward rhythm (ie. most of them are in 4/4).

And maybe a twenty-something like you wouldn't, but a twenty-something like me would totally slap that (bass) on a 70s disco song. Please think before making generalizations based on age (, race, gender, blahbity blahbity blah ).

We're trying to be your friend here: friends are honest and tease each other. Please don't take your ball and go home just because we don't think your song is the best thing since sliced bread (though it is better than wonderbread most definitely - that stuff is nasteeee!)

[Madren]

You want to know how old I am? When I said "loopy" I meant "silly" or "crazy." I didn't mean loops. They're way too much work -- all that tape splicing! I don't know how you young ones can stand it. I guess your fingers are still supple.

ROFL! Yes, our fingers are supple enough to be experts at tape flanging too

[wyrfxrssn]

Me and Poncho Pilot make up WTFBBS. It's our first real song and for some reason we decided that we should post it on the internet where lots of people will tell us exactly what they think of it. Upon reflection, not necessarily a good idea, but whatever it's done.

WTFBBS X ***********************************
I love you (Platonically of course)

I love you too. Thanks for loving us.

WTFBBS - You keep changing your name, but you keep sucking at rapping.

Not entirely sure what this means, do we sound like a previous Song Fighter who was as bad as us? Or are you confused about our numbers? There are two of us, I thought that would have been obvious as I'm from the US and Poncho is from the UK. Thanks for the attention.

WTFBBS - Hard to understand, perhaps because of the mics, but I think there's a bit of mumbling or rushing going on too. Very repetitive. One of the things I enjoy about rap, to the extent that I understand the genre, is the rhythmic play of syllables between and across lines, but here each line is locked to a very similar rhythm and I don't enjoy it as much. The "spy" stuff at the end is fun.

The mics were bad. Mine is a Rock Band mic and I'm unsure what Poncho's is but it's not high-quality, that much I know. Being inexperienced we couldn't really get the words to match up well, but that will improve (hopefully quickly) over time. I know what you mean by the rhythmic play stuff and hopefully that's learn-able as well. The spy stuff at the end was Poncho's idea, and a swell one it was.

We plan on continuing to make songs and hopefully one day we'll be as good as our friends over at Torrentz are.