The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Leaf wrote:CHIPSABBOTTANDRAY:[/b] Nice vocal. Is this someone I’ve heard before?

Yes Leaf. It is someone you have heard before.

Leaf wrote: Actually, wow.. those backup ahh’s are great.

Yes. Must repeat this. Joanne - those backup ahhs are sensational. And I am a dude who does a lot of backup ahhhs. I wish I could do then that good.

Leaf wrote:JOHNNYCASHPOINT[/b]:It sounds like you!
I know you have said you don’t want “production tips”.. but whatever. These are not production tips. Lol. Those heavy guitars need more bass… the bass needs more bass. This mix needs bass. Maybe a tuner too man. There are things in here I like. I have always liked your lead verse style vocals.( the way you are doing your thing in the verses is what I mean I guess) But damn it man, get a tuner, that guitar sound awful and it’s hard to listen to the tune cause there are dissonances that just are too strong to be cool. Bits I liked in the strategy and ideas. .

Ah man, I clearly didn't express myself right, production tips are always welcome, I just don't really have the chops to implement them. Weirdly I always think my songs are too bassy so spend quite a lot of time taking it out! I mix on a laptop which has no bass end on the playback so it's hard for me to nail it right. Not proud of it, but know it's not changing any time soon, so there's not much i can do but feel frustrated and take it out by being rude about other people's songs

I agree about the guitars - but it's not not having a tuner, it's having a cheap electric guitar that i think has a slightly warped neck. I know all I need to do it go and out and buy another one, but I'm cheap and there are better things to spend my money on - comics, records, books, booze and living in London. Not an excuse but that's why I say 'no production tips' - the lack of bass comment interests me though. I need to think on about that.

Cheers!

j$

ten dollar pony - The Ahhhs are definitely a great part of this tune. I really like how the reverb tailors them so nicely with the backup music. The third time it happens, however, they're not as strong as the first two. For some reason, and this just may be self-diagnosed ADD, I just feel like the song plods along. The programmed drums may be the issue for this. I just didn't get the idea of the Canadian Girlfriend just the girlfriend.

The Wankers - That one part where all the backup singers come in is definitely worth the price of admission. I absolutely love this for it's comic inference (not sure it is - but I'm assuming it is). The programming is great. When the second verse kicks in and I can finally feel the beat. This is one of those songfight admissions that is borderline genius. Really hangs around. Funny stuff. Contender

Chips, Abbott and Ray - I think the thing that sinks this song for me is I feel like it needed to be capo'd one or two frets higher. It would have matched the vocal timbre. You sound like you are reaching for those low notes. The part that kills me about this tune is that there's this deeply rooted Leonard Cohen influence in it's creation. 'NIght' at the end of the middle should have been really punched. By the end it really punches out. Even in the arctic they see sunshine. NOW if you spoke of Vancouver you might be right about the 6 months without sunshine . Still the chorus kills me. And it ends on such a high note. Nice job. 80000 points for the Leonard Cohen feel. Contender

DJ Ranger Den - Musical minimism at it's best. A couple production notes - add some reverb to the voice, maybe automate the up/down (volume-wise) on the spaces - the noisefloor is quite high in the spaces. It'll really beef up the energy of the stanzas, and the piano up, or possibly less further back in the mix via reverb. Other than that the idea of the jealous American Girlfriend suspicious of her boyfriend arranging trysts with his Canadian Girlfriend is an interesting way to interpret the title. Very Clever. Best line - "I wonder what you do with your eyes when you land on the 6 am flight". Your harmonies are interesting choices. I don't like some of them, but if you aren't aware, you may eventually come round to my way of thinking on the 'right techniques'. Those harmonies are challenging.

Mosquito - I love that noise floor at the beginning for it's vintage feelings. Ohhhhhh the mosquito. Always buzzing around. It's like if I went to those bargain basement tape box holders at some convenient store and you happen on some odd tape with a band looking all 80s hairband and you get it home and listen to it and it's this. Ha Devo! The noise floor is a bit much but I'm sure you kept it in on purpose just maybe a hair less. Overall - well done! Ahhhh fuck I think the mosquito bit me.

sonofsupercar - the way the bass comes in with the drums (snares rattling) in the live recording is fucking excellent to listen to. trippy. the tones all gather together really well. the vocals are too hot when they first come in but the performance in my mind for what it is trying to accomplish really works. i love the disenchantment of the guitars meandering around trying to create some kind of cacophony but by the end i'm dying for the guitar to start working harder in a rhythmic sense. the end, for me, however, is perfect. at points the rhythm strayed a bit far but it's hard to critique a very well felt moment in time. not really sure of the lyrics but the feeling I got was soaring around on a kite along a California coastline. Maybe it's along Victoria Island or along the BC coast.

TR Jones - the shaker is a great feel to go along with the acoustic. the lyrics are well written for this song. well done on that front. a real catchy take on the title. it's hung around all week with me. Contender.

DaddyBopSwingset - The bass is tooooooo hot at the beginning. That being said I love the energy of the song and the way the bass carries the progression - really nice. the vocalist just needs to sing like he means it. It's like he second guesses himself. The bossa nova/latin feel on this tune really moves nicely especially with the way the horn comes in in the middle. Nice energy and decent playing. Not sure it sold me on the nature of tune for the title.

Tuners Union - Nice job on the drum work. Neat stuttering effect. The singing is well done. I really don't like the way this song manifests itself for the title. Cool playing but for some reason the lyrical content, especially when you sing the line Canadian Girlfriend just doesn't work for me for the title. Nice progressions.

Ross Durand - The first line is off, tuning wise, and that bothers me. You shoulda taken another pass at that. The chorus really works rhythmically and hook wise. And that's, imo, a reason why this works. There's one bass note in the second verse which I think doesn't work. All in all not a bad take on the title. Good lyrics and good structure. I don't like the direct in of the guitars, not sure if they are, but, they sound like it. Nice job all and all. For me, not in the running but a better departure than your last fight.

Johnny Cashpoint - I agree with Leaf on the bass being too low. More of a sonic thing really. Oh oh oh oh part for me is the worst point of the song. As a listener it makes me feel awkward if not slightly uncomfortable. Maybe a bit more reverb or more on pitch or just find a lyric. Those moments require to be hooky which it isn't. Something about the whole structure and composition just doesn't work for me for the title. The lyrics aside, the song could have been called oh oh oh oh and I would have felt the same thing about it. Seems thrown together from a middling idea.

Greg Boetthin - The first thing that strikes me is the low end reverb on the drums. Songfight song blah blah blah. That's not the worst part of the song. Might be the whole vampire thing. Doesn't really mesh with the title and ultimately is it's undoing. Vampire needing a Canadian girlfriend is just weird and in my opinion is not considered poetic licence but more songwriter's remorse. Another one of those songs that could have been named any other title and I still would feel the same humdrum feeling about. Best line is 'Met her on match dot com/She lives in Saskatchewan'. I think she'd be more from Montreal if she was into kinky stuff </stereotype>. Not bad production. Good space in the various instrumentation. No Vote.

Lookouts - I find it weird how it sounds like it's a left-handed drummer in the mix. Is it? Your Canadian Girlfriend stealing 18 million dollars of maple syrup is just presposterous, but got to give a hand to poetic licence. When the solo comes alive the killer is the way the rhythm integrates. A little sloppy on that but I'm splitting hairs. Good take on the title. Contender.

American Boyfriend - It's funny how all I think when I hear this is how much it sounds like The Weakerthans when it begins. The singing could just be a little more confident. It's where it loses points. Canuck nookie is hilarious, only cuz I can actually discern it. 'Hey Hoser my girlfriend's Canadian' is one of those hooks in this fight that for some reason I hate to like it but I've actually found myself parodying it and amusing myself in front of my kids. It kills me. Dated, yayaya; BUT it's a fucking rediculous hook. Sort of the way I felt about Blinded Me With Science. Not exactly, but I hope you get the picture. Might be my favourite of the fight for that rediculous hook. Contender.

Gert - Well it's been five long years and there is no question in my mind that gert has a sound. This, for me, was the tightest I've ever been with the other guys. The verse lyrics are very clever and the harmonies that come together amaze me that in such a short time that these cats nail that shit. It's weird when I'm presented with this kind of thing as I'm always trying to find cohesion in the lyrical/melodic intent and in the world of gert it's one of the most together songs from a lyrical/ performance standpoint. The middle is my favourite because it really transcends six guys jamming over the internet. Great job on all the members for making that shit soooooo tight in record time to be ready with the tight schedule of songfight. On the production side I love the bottom end but about 80 to 100 hz could have been shaved to tighten up the parts. Contender.

So the contest, for me, is between the Lookouts, American Boyfriend, The Wankers, R Mosquito, TRJones and gert.

Leaf wrote:
SONOFSUPERCAR:It didn’t evoke any canadiana.

Geddy Lee backing vocals on the last chorus - 100% intentional.

tonetripper wrote: ... This, for me, was the tightest I've ever been with the other guys.

Those jeans...that nice, warm, glass of Westport Lemonade...lips cracked...welcoming and inviting...must have been the jeans.

listed in order of my enjoyment with positives (+) and negatives (-) and other comments (=). top three get votes.

1. Tuner's Union

+ I really like your music. I think your song has been my favorite every time you've entered so far.

2. TRJones

+ it's nice to hear a melody that makes me want to sing along even if it does sound a bit like a lot of other songs I've heard before.
= the mix is crap and i don't really like this kind of music, but a nice tune gets you a vote.

3. Daddy Bop Swing Set

+ nice jazzy sound.
+ very impressive musically. i don't know a lot about this style of music but it sounds pretty authentic.
= i'm not sure about the vocals, they seem a bit weak/thin but they kind of work with this style.
- i think the drums could be louder in the mix.
= i didn't notice the lyrics.

4. Ross Durand

+ different sound than I'm used to hearing from Ross and I like the change of pace even if some of the guitar tones seem a bit thin and the overall mix is a bit wonky.
+ great lyrics.

5. Jonny Cashpoint

- bass could be louder in the mix (and maybe drum machine lower?)
= guitar sounds like ass, but it's sort of an interesting ass.
+ overall the song has a lot of focus and style ... the cheap sounding production may be a positive thing in this context.

6. American Boyfriend

+ guitars sound good.
+ bit of a Guided By Voices vibe during the catchiest bit "hoser..." / nice.
+ the drums work.
+ lyrics are amusing.
- vocals are a bit thin / weak and don't seem to be able to really nail those high notes.

7. DJ Ranger Den

+ the story draws me in. interesting lyrics.
- there's not a lot to hold onto musically for me.

8. Gert

+ good mix, sounds pretty professional
+ everything is well played.
= vocals aren't bad, pretty strong actually and they would probably appeal to a lot of people but I have a thing against the sort of grungy voice thing. so general + and personal - on the vocals.
+ instrumental breakdown is nice.
- everything is well done but it doesn't really appeal to me overall. it's probably just a genre thing. not sure.

9. The Lookouts

= reminds me of Gert, it's pretty well done but doesn't hold my interest.
+ I kind of dig the lead voice and the chorus isn't too bad.
- it's the verse that lets down the track for me.
+ nice guitar leads.

10. Mosquito

+ I really like the tone on the made synth sound.
+ I dig the story.
+ Vocals are pretty decent for this style.
+ I like this many times more than the previous Mosquito song I heard.
- Not enough here musically for me to really love it.

11. Gregg Boethin

+ pretty good mix and sound for this style (even if it's not my favorite style...)
+ guitar playing is good.
+ vocals are good for this style.
- some of the music is quite awkward sounding on first listen. weird chords & melodies (and in this style they sound like mistakes rather than purposeful experimentation.)
- the "canadian girlfriend" repeating vocal is irritating. a bit of an anti-hook there.

12. The Wankers

+ points for WTF?
- but I don't really enjoy listening to it after I get over the "WTF?" response (and to clarify the "WTF?" is a good thing to me) ... still not sure what this is after it ends. Sounds like a theme song to a Japanese cartoon maybe.

13. ten dollar pony

- vocals are weak/thin.
- melody is sing-songy.
+ backing vocals with heavy reverb are nice.

14. sonofsupercar

- that long intro was torture in my current state. I actually love a lot of music with these kind of intros ... but it's hard to want to sit through it with a song in a situation like this.... and the payoff wasn't really there.
+ I think if I was in a different mood this would be my favorite song of the fight. The atmospherics are pretty cool. So much of people's response to your music isn't even just what people they are... but what mood they happen to be in at the moment. maybe this is why it's good not to get too concerned about any one review/response to your music/song.

~~~

Chips, Abbott, & Ray

My first Song Fight! collaboration features Caravan Ray on lead vocals and JoAnn Abbott on backing vocals ("ahh") ... JoAnn wrote the lyrics (mostly, although I made some changes and Ray made some small changes to my changes.) I wrote & recorded the music.

chocolatechips wrote: JoAnn wrote the lyrics (mostly, although I made some changes and Ray made some small changes to my changes.)

Actually Ray didn't really write anything. He just has failing eyesight and a tendency to misread lyric sheets.

Some great entries this week with the top 3 stars going to Gert, Tuners Union, and TRJones. you Hosers nailed it

American Boyfriend - Like the chord progression a lot in this tune. Lyrics are a tad to tongue and Cheek for me, and feel crammed into the song. Overall though I liked the production quite a bit, just some lyric phrasing issues is my only complaint. (C)

Chips, Abbott, and Ray – Again, the production is just swell. A tad “Ruby Tuesday’y” at times, which unfortunately sorta distracts me from the tune. Good vocal sound. I always have such issues with vocals, so my hat is off to you sir. The whole Canadian beaver thing is a bit uninspired, but whatever. A successful venture, in my opinion. Like the keyboard sound that opens the tune as well. (C)

Daddy Bop Swing Set – Well shit, this is the shit. Quality musicianship, and great production. The vocalist doesn’t work for me, but whatever, this song has everything else. Great trumpet. Is it real? Superb!! Keep on lounging it up, it’s a breath of fresh air. (B-)

DJ Ranger – Well not really my style, but there is something about that Joanne Newsome’y quirk to your voice that I dig. Nice piano playing. But the arrangement is a tad sparse and it doesn’t really keep my attention. Still a nice submission (C-)

Gert – I’m going to venture to say you are Canadian. Loved going through this song a couple of times trying to catch all the Canadian band references. Love the Quality cock rock riffs at the beginning. Not sold on the change at all, but when the riff walks back into the tune I am brought right back Great vocals! And a top notch production. My only complaint is chorus progression, but this is still a big time VOTE for me (A-)

Gregg Boethin – Think your voice is perfectly suited for this type of quasi country rock tune. Sound was great, although I find it gets a little loose in parts and a little chuggy/draggy. But its really nicely balance in my headphones. The bridge doesn’t sit well with me, doesn’t bring in the chorus smoothly. Overall though I though you had great sound on your guitars. Quality submission (C+)

Johnny Cashpoint – You know what would really help this tune? Bass. Some more bottom end would really help this song out a lot. Its drags a bit but for some reason I am not minding it. Got a sort of Bauhaus feel to it, sort of. Other than some general sound/production issues , I think there is something there to build off. Just flesh it out a bit more. (C-)

The Lookouts – Diggin it from the get go. It stammers around the 31 second mark, but overall I would say it strong. Got a good groove to it, and the electric guitar squelches nicely over top. Some quality riffage, and a chorus I am singing along with, always a bonus. I would like to hear The Lookouts and Gert do a collaboration. Maybe I’m just digging the power riffs, but this will be a definite as well to go along with Gert’s. (B+)

R Mosquito – I saw that R Mosquito was next up on the list. I started to cringe and settled in for something that wouldn’t float my boat. Surprise! Very Cool. I commented on Johnny Cashpoints song saying that it reminded me of Bauhaus a bit, well you now where that crown. I’m a sucker for this kind of synth approach. It’s quite short it seems, so I’m giving it another run through. Like your lead synth sound. Sits decently in the mix. I find many times that type of saw sound can be over powering. Not in this case. Quality submission, I wont be so quick to judge next time (C )

Ross Durand – Yet another well constructed tune by Mr. Durand . Like the reggae vibe, although the bass line sorta takes that vibe away from it. Love the bass line for the chorus, but not a fan of the bas lines on the verse. Stiil though, not a whole lot to point out other then some simple personal taste things that should really have no bearing on your songwriting. Nice submission (B-)

Son of Super Car – Digging the intro…..wheres it gonna take me…….the anticipation is killing me. The intro had me intrigued, but it never really punctuated. Ya the drums come in heavy in the end, but it doesn’t seem to ever really punctuate for me. I still like this tune quite a bit, but felt like it was missing a change or something to break it up just a smidge. Great voice for this style, and the assorted distortion/feedback/noise was great. (C+)

Ten Dollar Pony – oompa oompa oompa. Never been a fan of that beat done electronically. It adds a sense of staleness to a tune. Like the electric guitar that adds flavor throughout the song. Lyrical phrasing is repetitive, and made it hard to get through the song. Just a personal taste thing. Cheers (D+)

TR Jones – well quebec/montreal is quite the popular locale in a bunch of these songs. Rightfully so though. Hard to walk through montreal without spraining you neck. Really digging the tune. A tad jimmy buffet’y (who is not my cup of tea), but there are to many good things going for this tune to dwell on that. Short and sweet, a quality tune construction. Quite a jump up from your last outing as far as production goes, so big ups to you. Looking forward to your next step in your songfight journey. You’re getting a vote. (B-).

Tuners Union – TU was my hands down winner last week. This is another great sounding track. Your production level to me is through the roof. Superb quality in my headphones. You have a nice voice that really suits your style. Great accenting, more quality piano and musicianship in gen, eral. How do you not win every week? How do you get such great production in such a short time? Hats off to you. Vote (A-)

The Wankers – This should have been submitted for the ROBOT NINJA ZOMBIE BEAR songfight a few years back. I am disqualifying this tune as it has nothing to do with the challenge this week. She may be singing about a Canadian girlfriend, but really this could be something you whipped up years ago. Like the Japanese vocals, but video game music doesn’t tend to work for me. You get a failing mark, but only because I see no reference whatsoever to the songfight title(F)

Dear Mr. Jake DeLorey,
I humbly request that you reconsider your disqualification of The Wanker’s submission for the “Canadian Girlfriend” SongFight title. Being in another language, you’re well within your right to consider the song difficult to understand, however there are key english words used in the song. They may be a little difficult to pick out because of accent, but they are there, most specifically the use of “Canada” and “Girlfriend.” The chorus roughly translates as “I want to go to Canada. I dream of becoming your girlfriend.”

In response to your allegations that this song could have been written years ago, I assure you that it was written during the duration of the SongFight challenge. Consider the following facts, please. The Wankers have not existed for more than a few months. If this had been written some time ago, there would have been plenty of time to perfect the production and mix of the song, and it would be a much better song. Additionally, one of The Wankers, specifically me, spent a week listening to J­pop in order to get the right vibe for the background music, so PLEASE have some sympathy in this regards.

Finally, this song has no references to robots, ninjas, zombies, or bears, aside from the fact that Canada is mentioned and Canada happens to be a place where bears live. (And on side note, it might be construed as slightly racist to consider bears as the defining element of Canadian culture) In theory, had the song existed then and been submitted for the fight you mentioned, there would be more grounds to disqualify it based on lack of reference to the title, by far, than for a disqualification in the Canadian Girlfriend challenge.

Therefore, I urge you to reconsider your disqualification decision. It would help put a smile back on certain singer’s face too.*



Other SongFighters,
Thanks for your mostly positive responses. I wish I had time this week to review all the songs, but I don’t this time, however if you feel the feedback on your song is lacking a joke about wanking, I’ll respond to review requests if I can squeeze it in.

TR Jones nails what he’s going for though, stands out from the rest, aside from The Wankers, who also nailed it(it’s in my contract to say this).


*This note is just written in fun... please have a laugh and don’t take it so seriously...

I have actually finished my reviews - sort of - if anyone wants to go back to the 1st page

I is nice to have a fight where I didn't have to FAIL anybody.

No crap.

Good job.

Ooooo, I LIKE C.A.R. for a group name! Great idea!

Thanks everyone for the reviews! I appreciate feedback because I am trying to learn how to do this better, learning is half the fun for me. Sorry I didn't get a song in for the witch hunt- I was drawn to both a Monty Python song based on the HOly Grail movie and the witch scene there, and a darker, voodon drum based song about Tituba and the Salem witch trials. Live and work got really busy. I will try to get a set of verses to my partners for the dodged a bullet song though!

Deni, thanks for the nice feedback on my singing- I went to a voice teacher for 6 months last year. Now to try and remember to warm up properly before recording! I always forget that the sound in my head won't necessarily match what comes out of my throat if I didn't warm up first.