First off: apologies about the earlier set of reviews. You all deserve much more helpful reviews, and I should probably not make Ms. Phlebia listen to an online songwriting contest when she really just wants me to turn the stereo off in general. I swear, she’s actually a lovely person, just...probably not someone to solicit reviews from while trying to focus on something else. Oh well, it was meant to be lighthearted, not hurtful. But apparently I missed the mark. Oops.
So here’s my actual, hopefully helpful reviews!
I’m going to try to shoehorn[TC] the title into each of these, so if it mean’s
something’s wrong with my phrasing at some point, then humor me.
Berkeley Social Scene:
First thought is that the vocals are kind of pitchy. I don’t know why but that bothers me FAR more when it’s the very opening line of the song rather than being pitchy later in the song. First impressions, all that stuff. Other than that, I find this song pretty catchy for the most part. The drums sound a little flat in my opinion from a recording standpoint, but the melodies are good! I’m not sold on the “I wanted to show you” part,
something’s wrong with that chord shift. I dig that delayed out guitar in the break before the final chorus.
Brown Word and the Big Whine:
Drums too quiet! Turn them up! I’m not sure if you’re familiar with Strong Bad, but I want to describe them with “broodlebroodlebrapbroodlebrap” as is done in the death metal episode. Not that this remotely similar to death metal, more of a hard rock kind of number. But that’s fine. Mixing wise I’d want to slap just a LITTLE bit of reverb on them so they sit better in the mix? You might not want to listen to me there, owl and crump have told me over and over they can never make out what I’m saying. Anyway, the palm muted riffing near the end is pretty good sounding, but then it just...ends? I don’t know, there's
something wrong with that conclusion. The distortion is kind of tinny. I always end up pointing out sonic gripes rather than songwriting gripes, but production is half the song so it is what it is.
Evil Grin:
This is the first entry of yours that I’ve never noticed pitch correction in. I can pick it out on a couple of occasions in the first few verses, but it’s especially apparent in that part where you start going “so alive, so aliiiiv[robot]e”. I feel like its obviousness there is doing the song a bit of a disservice. But it’s subtle and makes the parts where it’s applied subtly sound better. Maybe use the dry vocal there and only swap in the corrected one in the places where it’s really needed? Unless you completely flubbed the high part, but you usually don’t have many issues with pitch, so I’m assuming it’s just overapplication. Besides that? Piano sounds well recorded, the songs got this great vibe to it, and I actually really liked this one...or else I’d say there was
something wrong with it beyond just griping about melodyne/newtone/however you did it.
Glenn Case:
Something’s wrong with the ending of this song. It just ends abruptly, and I want it to keep going because I really like this song. Those guitars are so thick and I always like your chord choices. I think it’s because you’re extremely fond of 9ths and jazzy chords, which is a trait that I share. Of course I find there to be an inherent irony in having a botched ending in a song with a song with a title like this. I enjoyed the line about the paranoia setting in. And the solo is delightful, as well as the abrupt shifts in time signature throughout the tune.
Glennny:
I know that sometimes there’s things that are completely unrelated, but the “hoo-hoo!” bit reminds me of Boris’s track Statement. But, y’know, that’s like sludgy alt-metal, and this clearly isn’t. During the pre-chorus bit (when the ground shakes), I wish the guitars were just a little bit louder in the mix, but man, I like the majority of this track!
Something’s wrong on the “possible connection” line cause it’s a bit pitchy, but the rest of the song is fine so whatever! I dig the talkbox solo a lot. I’m a sucker for slide guitar, despite never using it in my own tracks (almost did this week, but...didn’t). Anyway, I’m never quite sure how to make slide guitar sound expressive, since the lack of fretting nuance is there. But again -- I love it! Good song, one of my favorites so far. What’s with the Glenns ending abruptly though?
Hot Pink Halo:
Back in the late 00s I was hanging out at this hippie dippie college in western North Carolina (Warren Wilson, if anyone knows where it is). They had this “free store”, where people would basically drop stuff off, with the condition being “leave something, take something”. I don’t remember what I left, but I would up picking up some random cassette tape of vaguely political folk tunes. And the general vibe of it sounded a whole lot like this, so naturally this ends up bringing in a pretty significant bit of nostalgia. Your vocals are way stronger than usual on this one - “my country is burning” when you reach up for those high notes is great! And your guitar is noticeably a lot clearer in the mix, which addresses something that I’ve alternately liked and complained about in my past reviews (helpful, right?). I feel like I have to say
something’s wrong with this, and so I’m going to point out that the first violin note sounded a little flat or sharp and there’s some wobbliness in the violin technique. But you say you’ve just started picking it up after years and violin is hard, man! I’m guilty of pitch correcting my own violin playing, so I can’t even complain. This is the best Hot Pink Halo song.
Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff:
In one of the rare comments of hers beyond “eh, no, next one”, Mrs. Phlebia pointed out this this sounds a lot like REM. I’m not sure if it’s the vocal stylings or the actual tone of your voice (a bit of each one). Despite it sounding sonically solid, it doesn’t stick with me at all for whatever reason. One of those that I hear and then find myself just thinking “hmm, that was a song”. I think it’s the relative lack of range in the melody, which only bothers me depending on the genre. Since the backing track of this is relatively static, it makes me feel like
something’s wrong when the constant 8th note guitar strumming, static drums with not very many fills, and bass that just plays the tonic is accompanied by such a narrow melodic range. I mean it kind of breaks out of the monotony in the 3rd verse. I like the organ, though. Turn it up.
Medavox:
I’m torn on the multitracked vocals, in some ways it sounds like
something's wrong with the recording and it's really cluttered, but the enthusiastic delivery of the melody combined with the slight quirkiness to the instrumentation and the lyrics sort of gives me Jeff Magnum vibes which is extremely hit or miss for me. But in this case? I like it! And the bit about the pain behind your eye and the smelling burning is clever, cause I’ve certainly never heard a stroke described that way in song lyrics before. And the “lets talk about bit” with that reverby, slightly distorted guitar in the mess. All in all, this one appeals me quite a bit!
miscellaneous owl:
Hard not to go into this with high expectations given your recent track record. Anyway, I always have to resist the urge to pick up my kids and swing them around like that cause I’m not terribly interested in dislocating their limbs. I’m not sure they would be either. Lyrically, this is remarkably poignant. Production-wise, this is well produced, well mixed, and everything, and yes, it’s a slice of Byrds-ian jangle-pop and your influences show through pretty dramatically. But do I care? Nah. Cause I love this style of songwriting. Among my favorites of the fight. Lately you’ve had this habit of sort of adding in emotional gut-punches at the end of the song and you don’t disappoint. And that slow-down after the elbow line was brilliant. If there’s
something wrong here it’s that the Starstream sitar sound does sound kind of fake sometimes. But...you know this.
Paco del Stinko:
I kind of like this slower version of Paco, a more sedate style suits you well! You come up with very unexpected chord progressions pretty often - I like this, it’s a trait that I admire in a lot of musicians even if I don’t follow it that often myself - I could probably broaden my own songwriting by getting more creative with my modulations. The lyrics are nice and spooky, a true descent into madness. I tend to like my bacon less crispy than most, so while it may upset my tummy I imagine that raw bacon with whiskey wouldn’t be TOO upsetting to my palate. It’s difficult to find anything too much to criticize about this one other than just subjective, unhelpful things, so I’ll just say
something’s very wrong with your protagonist and they probably need some antipsychotics.
Phlebia:
Medavox pointed out that this sounded like Joy Division, and to be perfectly fair: I don’t really listen to Joy Division much, if at all. Not that I don’t appreciate them, I just tend to listen to other artists more that take a whole lot of stylistic cues from the style they pioneered. Anyway, some of the lines in hear are more meaningful than others -- depression and anxiety have been major topics in family conversations lately. My aunt-in-law killed herself last year, and my own aunt attempted to do the same a few years prior (which nobody told me about until last weekend). In the wake of the former incident, we’ve pretty much gotten to talking about mental health woes with way more people in our extended family, and found out that *way* more people we suspected had been struggling with that sort of thing. So I wound up musing a whole lot about this, and just sort of free-versed lines about that feeling that
something’s wrong, even if it isn’t at any particular moment. The “the only difference between you and i” line is directly referencing conversations I’ve had with my wife: she’s depressive and deals with perpetual feelings of low self-worth, whereas I’m a complete doomer in my worldview and tend to me extremely pessimistic about the future. The sample at the end (it’s buried, I know) is an interview with John Michael Greer about the trajectories of civilizations.
Pigfarmer Jr:
You know, when I was reading the lyrics for this I totally forgot that you said that this was about a dog in a Budweiser commercial, but I finally figured it out by the “I’ve got to go, I need something to eat” line. Before that I was kind of thinking that the track was about someone being locked out of the house, instead of being locked in the house.
Something’s definitely wrong with people who just abandon their pets. I haven’t seen the commercial in question though, so I may have the narrative all wrong. Anyway, if I had anything to complain about with this track it’s that the piano sounds way too compressed and the drums are kind of clipping, but not in a way that I particularly like. At times I thought the words were a little TOO simple and direct, but...it’s coming from the perspective of a dog. Dogs aren’t that deep. So it works!
ShoehornTC:
I like the juxtaposition of the image between the individual and the nation being successful but still having something going wrong. Kind of echoes by own musings for this topic, which may be why I resonate with this one as much as I do, there’s
something subtly wrong with pretty much everything. You do simple but meaningful songs really well. And aren’t we all kind of lonely sometimes? Sometimes I wish that you’d add a little bit more compositional complexity to your songs - they all tend to kind of follow very well-trodden chord progressions, so whenever I hear them it’s not necessarily that I don’t like your songs, it’s that they often sound like something I’ve heard before. Which wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t care for them to begin with. Anyway, production is good, singing is good, can’t really complain too much!
Travels With Brindle:
By far the most simple entry in the fight, which is what it is. As I’ve said, I’m not the best person to review ukelele driven songs because I don’t like ukelele driven songs - is
something wrong with me?. But all it all, I like how you work in the musical “stop” right when it says “stop.”. There’s a couple moments in this track that are kind of pitchy, but by and large it’s fine. I’ll offer the same complaint that I did for ShoehornTC’s track and say that the chord progression is very predictable and “safe”. Which may be the point, it’s the genre! I wish the “stop” was consistent, sometimes it stops and sometimes it doesn’t. I wish I could give you more helpful advice.
Vom Vorton:
See, I told you you’d get a proper listen. I really like the opening arpeggios, and the way the drums come in is really well executed. Is that live drumming or a virtual drummer? If the latter it sounds really convincing. That line about pissing on the precipice and watching crystals fall into the void did sort of make me ponder what you meant, cause all that comes to mind was “is he passing kidney stones?” Cause that would be very wrong. And painful! But then when the crows start singing Black Sabbath I figure our protagonist has taken some of the same stuff Geoff Wreckdom took when he went to go see Cats.. Anyway, my aforementioned doomy impulses very much appreciate the second verse. It kind of reminds me thematically of the Talking Heads’ Nothing But Flowers with its decay imagery, only without the feeling of optimism behind the whole thing. I’m finding my thoughts drifting to which plants would do the best job at piercing a rusted out automobile. Bamboo has a great tendency to pierce whatever obstacle it needs to grow through. If there is
something wrong with this entry, it’s that I feel like it’s begging for another verse. I’m getting into the imagery a lot, and I want more!
WreckdoM:
What on earth kind of what in the world kind of I can’t even. I’ve never seen Cats. Wait. That’s not true. When I was a kid I watched the original one at my friend Mikey’s house and thought the whole thing was kind of surreal and weird and I didn’t like it much. Then I think he changed the channel to WWF wrestling and I thought it was surreal and weird and I didn’t like it much. One time I got in an argument with him over a cat. His dad (who I also didn’t like much) went to the store one day. While he was loading his groceries, he kept hear this faint “mew”ing sound. When he got home, he kept hearing it. Puzzled, he kicked his bumper and a little grey tabby came out. Well, they came over to our house and asked us if we wanted another cat. Me, being an enthusiastic elementary schooler and my mom, being a cat lover, said sure! Well Mikey decided a few days later that
something was wrong with the situation, and that he really wanted the cat. He must have coaxed his dad into letting him get one because he decided that since they found it, the cat was rightfully theirs. Lots of arguing and shouting and crying over this cat ensued. We kept the cat. Turns out the cat grew up to be an ornery jerk of a cat who I didn’t like much. But none of that is relevant to this song, which I like in its sparse, theremin driven craziness, though I have little to say about it that’s actually constructive.
