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Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 10:05 pm
by wages
Eidolon wrote:
Wages wrote:...Sounds like your reaching up. Try reaching down to the notes. That's kinda what helped me.
Do you mean sing an octave down.. or some kinda state of mind thing? ;)
I mean a state of mind thing. ;) Instead of feeling you have to "climb" for to a note, imagine yourself singing the exact same note, but sing down to it. I think you will see the difference.

There's another tecnique I think most people who "can't sing" need to do in order to be able to sing. I don't know how to describe it. It's part confidence (which I haven't mastered), part controlled force, part confidence, part experimenting to see where your voice will go (while being confident), and perhaps parts of other stuff. Often, I simply used imitation as a way to open my vox cords. You find you have different areas of the vocal cords that produce different sounds. At first, some sounds may be horrible. But if you work with it, you may develop something. I try different things like singing louder (pushing more air out), or softer (less air out), then change the vocal sound and do the same. Singing along with Bohemian Rhapsody is great for this, though challenging. Sing along with something live Everclear's "Santa Monica". It's easy. You are working on getting that distortion in your voice. The attitude. <B>Be careful not to strain....see...don't just do what I say. You can really fuck things up </B> I also read some ebooks about vocals training. I didn't actually practice as they said to (which explains some things), but I did learn about some things on singing without straining or otherwise ruining your vocal cords. SOME FORM OF IMITATION IS NOT GOOD FOR SOME/MOST/ALL. Do your reading, but I believe with some effort, anyone can really reach a respectible level of singing.

Editor's Note: The writer does not intend to be an "expert", but simply attempts to explain in very basic terms (attempting) his approach to singing.

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 2:06 am
by jseavers05
oh shmag. :shock:

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 12:21 pm
by Jim of Seattle
<font color=Maroon><b><i>@eclectic spOOns</i></b></font>
<font color=black>This getting much better. Still, the problem is not enough musical material. You've got a good 4-bar chunk to start with, now you need to make a full verse out of it. There's a nice bridge, but listen to that as well: it's the same little melodic fragment repeated identically 4 straight times. not so interesting. But this is definitely a step up from previous songs. <b><font color=orange>[okay]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Andrew Reist</i></b></font>
<font color=black>Takes too long to get to the vocals. Vocals are weak. Song plods along too slowly. <b><font color=crimson>[bad]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>E Equals</i></b></font>
<font color=black>I don't get it. <b><font color=crimson>[bad]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Eddie Lance</i></b></font>
<font color=black>I'm not sure what the point of this song is. Your reading of the lyrics sounds like you don't really mean it, and the singing could also be described that way. <b><font color=crimson>[bad]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Eidolon</i></b></font>
<font color=black>Pretty guitar playing, amateurish songwriting, and grating vocals. <b><font color=orange>[okay]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Freddie Love</i></b></font>
<font color=black>I think I get what you're going for here-- a kind of dreamy quality inspired by the dreamy title. But twice through it and I found myself drifting away - it just couldn't hold my interest. <b><font color=orange>[okay]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Jordan Seavers</i></b></font>
<font color=black>Essentially perfect. On a CD of your work, this one probably wouldn't top my list of favorites, but criticism like that is down to miniscule details of the vagaries of personal preference, so take that for what it's worth. <b><font color=ForestGreen>[good]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Ken Woodard</i></b></font>
<font color=black>I hear extra beats added here and there in bars that I don't think you're even noticing. This is a huge red flag. Sloppy and poorly executed. <b><font color=crimson>[bad]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Kill Me Sarah</i></b></font>
<font color=black>Man, this song is hard to get through. That plodding tempo, the repetitive guitar riff... and it's very long. <b><font color=crimson>[bad]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Prime the Phunt! Boil the Water. Escape!!</i></b></font>
<font color=black>Very Residents. I kind of like the synth part, but as soon vocals came in, it all sort of fell apart. The overlapping voices compete with each other too much, so I can't make out any of it. I think having multiple voices at the same time could work, but you have to give it more of a chance than you did. <b><font color=orange>[okay]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Produce feat. Macher</i></b></font>
<font color=black>Nice crisp clean well-produced rap. A rare Songfight artifact. Nice job. <b><font color=ForestGreen>[good]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Thanks for the Frisbee</i></b></font>
<font color=black>My favorite of the fight. These are the kinds of songs I hope to find when I listen every week. Extremely catchy, it begs to be sung along with, and your vocals are pretty near perfect. I appreicate that you double-tracked them, turning your slight intonation boo-boos into capital. Delicious song. <b><font color=ForestGreen>[good]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>The Modern Alternatives</i></b></font>
<font color=black>Doesn't do anything for me. I like the organization you have to your vocals. <b><font color=orange>[okay]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>The Quesadilla Explosion</i></b></font>
<font color=black>This comes close to great. i'm reminded of the best songs of Jon Eric, particularly for the fact that they share the same shortcoming. Catchy songwriting, but when you get real high on the chorus, your voice gets thin and weak. You need to belt that out, or possibly tune the song down a step or two so it's more in your range. either way. Right now, it's painful and disappointing to hear you struggle with those notes, especially when the song itself is so strong. <b><font color=ForestGreen>[good]</font></b>
</font>
<font color=Maroon><b><i>Wages</i></b></font>
<font color=black>More sloppy guitar playing. Perhaps moving the mic back a foot or so would keep some of those raw twangs out of there. Make sure you know what notes you're planning to sing before you hit "record". It sounds like you're not quite sure a lot of the time. <b><font color=crimson>[bad]</font></b>
</font>
<b>Disappointing fight. Please PM if you have comments or questions.</b>

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 12:55 pm
by Nigel (spOOn) Clements
Jim of Seattle wrote:<font color=Maroon><b><i>@eclectic spOOns</i></b></font>
<font color=black>This getting much better. Still, the problem is not enough musical material. You've got a good 4-bar chunk to start with, now you need to make a full verse out of it. There's a nice bridge, but listen to that as well: it's the same little melodic fragment repeated identically 4 straight times. not so interesting. But this is definitely a step up from previous songs. <b><font color=orange>[okay]</font></b>
Thank you very much for your supportive and constructive comments Jim,
they are genuinely most appreciated.

all the best, spOOn.

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 7:13 am
by furrypedro
Freddie love: This is smooth. It reminds me of Everything But the Girl but without the scary big chinned woman, and At the River by Groove Armada which I really like. I like the different vocal effects going on, and the way I can't tell if that's an electric guitar or a saxophone, it's a cool blend of sounds. Well done for adding a bit of variety in the middle, too many tracks like this just drift by without doing anything. Ah, caught a bit of the ol' reson bass fading out there; I love that patch. Easy listening done seamlessly.

Prime the Phunt!!: I love the name you chose for this, I think it's cos I saw Steamboy recently and it conjures up all this mechanical imagery in my mind. I think I prefer this to your other one this week, probably because it's more consistent musically. I like the twinklyness, and the way you've tried to make it a bit discordant. when the double vox come in it's cool. percussion starts to sound bubbly in places which adds some kind of watery etherealness. sweet. oh, and I wanna take this opportunity to give some respek for last weeks win, instead of letting the man henley take all the credit. good to have you back you freak bitches

E=: You remain a total enigma to me. You seem to have an abundance of lyrical ideas and a limited musical background. I'm not sure whether you're trying to sing super-softly or you're just a bit timid, but I think it'd be cool if you opened up those lungs because you can definitely get a bigger sound out of your voice. As for the background noises; I honestly have no idea if they're intentional or not, it's strange even for the most abstract of noisemongers. I'd like to know where you're coming from musically, and I think you should collaborate with someone who can write music, it's very rewarding. This track isn't particularly

Jordan Seavers: That guitar tone is so sweet, all the little touches are really nice down to the odd ride hits in the verse and the tiny guitar runs in between lines. I really love that line that sounds like "crooked spin is here...." I have no idea what it means but seems to have arbitrarily struck a chord with the part of my brain that is in charge of meaningless sentiments. So when's the album out?

The modern alternatives: This is very much better than most of the acoustic guitar songs that come through this site. The song is fairly solid and does the downbeat mumbly thing quite well (although the vocal melody does get a little repetitive upon repeated listens), but what I really like is some of the picked parts that add a fragility to the melody.

@elected spoons: ooh, is that a guitar. cut up guitar! sweet. that's one of my favourite tricks. Your voice drags this down a bit but I'm sorry for saying that cos there's not much you can do about it and it's got nothing to do with the meter or melody (although the meldoy could be made more interesting in the middle bit).I like those instrumental bits where it gets a bit more energetic. The verses are pretty solid, I'll definitley remember this one. Just a touch too repetitive (for me, so don't take any notice) but this was actually really good. I'd like to hear it redone with a killer singer.

Quesadilla Xplosion: This is alright but it sounds a bit too Weezer by numbers. your singer reminds me of mark everett. Nice flanging in the solo, is that an e-bow or some string samples in the background or what? I like the atmospheric bits, I wish the song had been a bit more like that. Nicely done, but not the one.

Produce ft. Macher: Once the rap settles into the verse it sounds pretty cool, but I'm really not into the backing track here. It's not nearly dirty enough (sonically), I'm not a fan of slap bass and that solo instrument whatever it is, y'know the 90's hip-hop sound which quite frankly should've died after the Spice Girls started using it. Drums are weak; this style blows, you should ditch the synth and get some northern soul samples in there or something.

KMS: ooh, a band. Those drum sounds leave too much space in the song, maybe the beat's too slow but that is the most uninspiring drum pattern I've ever heard. The guitar sound is surprisingly good though, gritty and not too distorted with quite a nice tone. oh no, just as i finished typing that the guitar solo came in; it's a touch too loud and struggles to keep in tune. It kind of fits with the song but it still needs to be better than that, I like the wobbly bit at the end of the solo. I can't listen to this for much longer, interesting vocals at the end, but whereas the main vocal fits well in the mix, the second one stands out badly.

Andreist: I'd think I'd like to hear this after you get more practise. there's some cool ideas in terms of riffing and structure in the intro but the guitar playing is a bit sloppy, and the drums sound gash but you knew that. It's not the kind of thing you can "get" on first listen which i like about it, a song with a bit of musical depth. I was expecting the song to kick in about 2/3 in, and it's a good thing that it didmwhat i didn't expect but it had better go somewhere soon for danger of losing me completely. The actual song is pretty good, but the structure after the intro just lacked any dynamic which is a shame. It had it's moments though

Thanks for the frisbee: Your superior singing sets this apart from most of the other entries. This is pretty good, nice phrasing, I like the guitar fills, and the vocal harmonising is really nice too. simple, effective, one of the best so far.

Eddie Lance: It sounds like you're reading shakespeare at the beginning, something about the delivery is slightly irritating. The music is good here, it sounds like mid-era R.E.M. I really wish you'd sung the majority of it, and actually sung, not just spoke melodically. I don't really care for the lyrics either. It's a shame because the potential for a classic vocal melody here is very high. I'd love you to go back and redo the vocals like Nightswimming or A Perfect Circle by rem, unless you write a lot of stuff like this in which case do it next time, maybe even with a guest singer (not that I don't think you could pull it off). If this had some good singing I probably would've voted for it.

Eidolon: I like the song here. The guitar playing in places is actually excellent and does just enough to maintian my interest in a sparse arrangement without getting indulgent or making any mistakes. The overall effect is more than most GnG efforts here. I wasn't sure about parts of the vocal delivery but it doesn't matter. good song, I'm gonna listen again once i'm finished reviewing.

Kenwood Ward: is that a mandolin that comes in there? sounds like it, there's actually much more to this than I was expecting. I only just noticed the bongos, there pretty cool, you're also sounding very r.e.m. this week, and it's got as much to do with the sparseness and all those minor chords as much as the mandolin. no vote, but this is okay.

Wages: I think you've got a really good voice, it's funny the way you add in all these little vocal inflections and try to jazz it up a bit but there's really no need. The guitar playing is functional, the songwriting's getting there and I'm sure in a month or so you'll be writing some great songs but I think you should try (not all the time, but maybe for at least a whole song) to be more sincere, or at least sound more sincere. I dunno what you think of luke henley but you could learn a thing or two from him in terms of making the arrangement a bit more interesting, just adding some textures to give your songs some more character. not bad, I look forward to you developing a bit, even if it means doing a couple of duffers in the meantime.

top 3: Freddie love, Jordan, Phunts
honourable mention to @eclectic spoons

I recommend E equals and Eddie Lance get it on for next week :wink: (in the interests of playing to your strengths and everything)

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 8:03 am
by wages
Furrypedro wrote:Wages: I think you've got a really good voice, it's funny the way you add in all these little vocal inflections and try to jazz it up a bit but there's really no need. The guitar playing is functional, the songwriting's getting there and I'm sure in a month or so you'll be writing some great songs but I think you should try (not all the time, but maybe for at least a whole song) to be more sincere, or at least sound more sincere. I dunno what you think of luke henley but you could learn a thing or two from him in terms of making the arrangement a bit more interesting, just adding some textures to give your songs some more character. not bad, I look forward to you developing a bit, even if it means doing a couple of duffers in the meantime.
If I were going to explain my "situation" perfectly, this would be how! Thanks for re-phrasing my thoughts! I'm trying to get a tune with drums (in time, both drums and guitar....and vocals...ha!) for this coming Friday. I'm realizing I'm trying to layer it, but I take the wrong approach. For instance, adding heavy reverb to vocals when maybe they just need some EQ tweaks. Or I'll add lead guitar where nothing but perhaps a drum fill is needed. It seems the best things I've done to improve my tunes is 1.) Compression and 2.) doubling tracks for fullness. BTW Over the last few months, I've been learning that I try to add TOO much flavor to my vocals. I used to (for no better analogy) "sing it like Witney" (IE ....and IIIIIIIII EIIIIIIII will allllllWAAYSSS love YOOOOOOOOOOOU...ou eou oh ou...........................add a couple flat notes and you get the point).

<B>I just want to know how everyone has time to do an entire song...including each instrument....in a single week!</B> I can only guess yall are all either virtuosos OR you spend just about all your free time working on your tunes. Perhaps the drums would come to me quicker if I practiced creating loops more. How DO you techno people do it?

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 8:10 am
by Kill Me Sarah
Results-wise, maybe you don't want me answering this since I get all the elements in there, but they don't seem to pan out too well. But I have recently been using loop-based recording software. Then I can put in a simple beat and add guitars and then vocals to it. Also, if the guitars repeat a lot you can loop those. Then you quickly have as many minutes of song as you want within just a few minutes of actually playing and looping. Then you can overdub as much as you like. I think my problem last week was that I did that but didn't take advantage enough of layering more vocals, guitars and switching up the drums with some fills here and there.

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 8:40 am
by Nigel (spOOn) Clements
Furrypedro wrote: @elected spoons: ooh, is that a guitar. cut up guitar! sweet. that's one of my favourite tricks. Your voice drags this down a bit but I'm sorry for saying that cos there's not much you can do about it and it's got nothing to do with the meter or melody (although the meldoy could be made more interesting in the middle bit).I like those instrumental bits where it gets a bit more energetic. The verses are pretty solid, I'll definitley remember this one. Just a touch too repetitive (for me, so don't take any notice) but this was actually really good. I'd like to hear it redone with a killer singer.
Blimey!
cheers!
If only I hadn't killed that singer.

sp :shock: n

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 9:43 am
by furrypedro
Wages wrote:I just want to know how everyone has time to do an entire song...including each instrument....in a single week! I can only guess yall are all either virtuosos OR you spend just about all your free time working on your tunes
being unemployed helps, but if you've been writing songs for years and years I guess it gets to the stage where you know what you want to do and you know pretty much how to do it so making a finished product is just a case of going through the motions and hopefully splurging something inspirational into it as well. I have no idea how that happens - you know when people say "it's like the music's coming through me" , i think that's what we're aiming for. when you do what you do and it somehow transcends being just chords and beats. there's no real formula for it, just a) practise like a bastard b) don't try to please anyone but yourself (artistically, at least) and c) erm...listen to the Stone Roses.

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 10:18 am
by Kill Me Sarah
Furrypedro wrote: being unemployed helps,
So does working at home ;)
Furrypedro wrote:but if you've been writing songs for years and years I guess it gets to the stage where you know what you want to do and you know pretty much how to do it so making a finished product is just a case of going through the motions and hopefully splurging something inspirational into it as well.
Now that I'm doing SF! weekly, I find myself writing the beginnings of 3 or 4 songs before I settle on an idea that I follow through to the end. I generally find you can either noodle around on an instrument and find a melody you like and then try to wrap words around it. Or you can write some words you like and think of a melody for them and then wrap some instrumentation around that.
Furrypedro wrote: a) practise like a bastard b) don't try to please anyone but yourself (artistically, at least) and c) erm...listen to the Stone Roses.
I particularly agree w/ b). This week was really the first time I've ever really tried to write a song that I wanted other people to like and I got panned harder on this one than on any of my others. At the end of the day it's impossible to write songs that everyone's gonna like anyway, unless your J. Seavers I guess :)

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 12:22 pm
by Kweep
Eidolon wrote:[...]I'd love to hear that song again..
I couldn't find a link to the song itself... but check out:

http://www.glennyarbrough.com/

That's the guy that sang it... and the tune that plays when you hit his site will snap you right back into middle earth... or into the 60's music of spinal tap :)

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 12:22 pm
by Mogosagatai
Furrypedro wrote:oh, and I wanna take this opportunity to give some respek for last weeks win, instead of letting the man henley take all the credit. good to have you back you freak bitches
'Preciate it! I should probably mention, though, that the man Henley deserves about 95% of the credit. We just tossed in two buried midi tracks and that crunch.

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 12:39 pm
by WeaselSlayer
Yeah, I'm a genius.

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 12:42 pm
by HeuristicsInc
Wages wrote:Perhaps the drums would come to me quicker if I practiced creating loops more. How DO you techno people do it?
not really techno here, but ... i do spend a good bit of time on the drums.
actually it's generally what i start with, after the lyrics are done.

1. drum machines. i have two, sometimes you can build up a set of loops pretty quickly.
2. fruity loops. it gets a bad rap but it may be mostly aimed at people creating a whole song in the program (i don't actually know). i have found it pretty useful for making a set of drum loops quickly. then i solo each instrument (and each varation) and send out to its own wav file, so i can vary the drums throughout the song.
3. drum loops. sometimes i use loops from my collective, tapegerm. there are also loops you can download for free from various places on the internet.
-bill

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 5:06 pm
by Freddielove
Andrew Reist
That’s a really long intro. Not sure the guitar is in tune. Like the way sing “my feetâ€

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 7:24 pm
by wages
Furrypedro wrote:but if you've been writing songs for years and years I guess it gets to the stage where you know what you want to do and you know pretty much how to do it so making a finished product is just a case of going through the motions and hopefully splurging something inspirational into it as well.
I have been writing songs since 1995 (age 15). I started out writing lyrics...inspired by all the great rock that was played on MTV that Summer (there was a time that rock....shit, music period.....ruled MTV). I picked up guitar about 3 to 6 months later. Then started playing, writing, and singing. Eventually I wrote a tune that started with the melody first (as opposed to the lyrics first or the guitar first). This song was very well received (it has fans!), so from that time on (around 1998) I've been trying to write in various ways....so it's not so much writing the song.
<B>However</B>, I didn't really start working on polishing a song until I found Songfight (late 2003). I submited some stuff early 2004, then became discouraged (only a small portion due to songfight) and only played intermitently. Around 6 months ago I started playing more. Now I'm back to playing around 3 to 5 times a week. When I started back with Songfight a few months ago, I decided I was going to use Songfight for it's main purpose: to improve. I'm now trying to get a band going.

Anyway, so I've got experience writing. As to stage....and I believe you are correct in what you say....all I've done stage-wise was singing in front of church (when I was a Hey Zeus freak). So this would help explain why I can't find enough time to get it all.

kill_me_sarah wrote:Now that I'm doing SF! weekly, I find myself writing the beginnings of 3 or 4 songs before I settle on an idea that I follow through to the end.
I have been writing lyrics to 2 or 3 of the topics and trying each one and sticking to the one I feel I like the most, feel the most, and/or think I can do the best job on in the shortest amount of time.
Furrypedro wrote: a) practise like a bastard b) don't try to please anyone but yourself (artistically, at least) and c) erm...listen to the Stone Roses.
a) I don't :(
b) I try to do this while also wanting to write stuff that will help be get the elusive "fan". I really want to find the perfect balance of my being completely pleased and also being able to get some listeners.
c) Yeah, they are great!

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 8:22 pm
by Thanks For The Frisbee
sorry for the late review.
thanks for all the feedback everyone. if you dont like the food comparisons let me know...and i swear i dont have an eating dissorder=)
here it is....enjoy?


Eidolon- Ah sounds like someone shares my pain of recording with less than par equipment.
I think the music has good structure and nice pace. Catchy melody, could have used some backup
Vocals in the chorus but other than that I think you accomplished what you set out to do when you wrote
The song. Good job id say this song is like an egg roll. Tasty on its own but it needs some sweet and sour sauce or something.

Jordan Seavers- well this song is awesome. it’s a keeper. I really don’t have any advice on this one.
Job well done, I havent heard your new version of it yet and I think im giong to be sick with
Jealousy when I do. I would compare your song to a delicious pizza with the best toppings, cause
Everybody likes pizza.

Modern alternatives- your song wouldn’t burn to my c.d. for some reason so I havent listened to it
Nearly as much as the others. I love your acoustic work, I need a little more from the
Vocals aspect. I think you have more to offer in that department but maybe you are hesitant to use it.
All in all I like the song but I don’t think I’ll keep this version of it. I would compare this song to
Gazpacho. Not every one will like it, some will, An acquired taste.

Phunt-your song locked me in a padded room, strapped me to a chair with my eyes propped open ,and
Convinced me that the clouds were touching the ground. Not something I would listen to on purpose for
Listening enjoyment, but definitely shows how talented and creative you are. Nicely put together and
Flawlessly executed. I compare your song to a full bodied cup of tea, just not my cup of tea.

Kill me sarah-I really like your song. Your lyrics paint a picture for me. Your vocals flow with the groove of the song. Im keeping your song for my ride to work mix. I compare your song to fine wine, it gets better the….more you drink =) jk, seriously AWESOME SONG!

Ken Woodard-sounds really old school. I think you could have played at Woodstock and been a hit. Reminds me of neil young a bit. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I compare this song to pancakes….I don’t know why.

Equals-It may be just my taste, but I don’t like it. It is artistic….maybe if you had one musical instrument
It would have been much more palatable…..HEY! Is this supposed to be a lullaby that you would sing to a baby? Okay I guess I get it now….im sure baby likes it =) your song is a green salad with no dressing.

Freddie love-I like it, barry white style music. This song sounds like something you would hear at the yacht club. I like the way the song is put together and the music is great for the style. I don’t necessarily like the style but that’s irrelevant I guess. Your song reminds me of a mimosa… party at the pool.

Eddie lance-I know you have taken it on the chin about the singing in your song. I tend to agree that in this song speaking the lyrics the way you did wasn’t working, but that’s not to say it will never work. The music is really nice and I think that’s what throws people off, not your voice but the delivery. I was ready for a sweet piano ballad. I would say your song is like rhubarb pie, looks delicious but unless you are ready for the tartness its kinda hard to swallow. Good song , I liked it, I would like to hear you try to sing more though.

Produce feat. Machery( leichty )- this is actually one of my favorites. I don’t really listen to rap much.
Its fun to listen to and the lyrics are awesome. Great song!! I would compare you guys to cheese and crackers cause you go together so well.

Wages-diamond in the rough. I like where you were going with this song. You start really great, but get a
Little careless. I do like your voice and I think you will learn to hone your style as the weeks go on.
I compare your song to potato chips, a little messy but likeable despite that.

Andrew reist-sorry man im not feeling the super long intro. My attention span isn’t that long, I was interested in the first 10 seconds, but lost interest after the first minute 30...then I just wanted to skip.
But I didn’t. your lyrics get kindof interesting in the second verse. I think you worked hard on this song and it was a good effort, but don’t be afraid just to jump right in with your vocals. that’s just my opinion of course, not worth much. Your song reminds me of microwave pop corn, it smells really good but if you leave it in too long it burns and isn’t so appetizing.

Quesadilla explosion- this song is great! I like the production, I like the use of the voice, I like the progression of the song. In the top three I think for sure. Reminds me of nirvana a little.
Im keeping your song for my ride to work also.
I guess I would compare this song to….kay-so-dillas, cause they are full of chicken and cheese and salsa and that means tasty.

Electric spoons-good job on this one. I like the music and the change, I don’t usually like singing that goes exactly with every note. I think finding a variation on some of the verse lines would have mixed it up enough to keep interest. All in all I did like the song . I compare your song to grapes. They are all uniform
And attached to the same stem.

Thanks for the Frisbee-me. Not much to say about me. I think I got my butt kicked this week.
I got so sick of trying to record this song. I appreciate all the feedback this week. Mixed reviews, I suppose it all comes down to taste. I thought my song was okay, not my favorite, but then again its really hard for me to actually LIKE my own songs. Anyways im rambling about nothing. My song was like peanuts, some people love them and some people swell up, get hives and die from them.

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 1:22 am
by jseavers05
i wanna write reviews again. i need some new songs though... maybe i can write reviews on the reviews.
frisbee - i like the food related reviews. very creative and well written reviews. good job!

bebop - got an A for spelling, capitalization, punctuation, and presentation. thou hast written reviews well. you are also the only one who has incorporated a letter grade system into your reviews. great job!

spoons - you gave me the first review. 1000 bonus points. infact you gave me two reviews 1000 points to the 3rd power. very cool number rating system. first scale out of 42 ive ever seen. 150 bonus points for that. the subjects you used for your rating system are very informative. well done with the eclectic rating system!

Liechty - so you decided to go with the +/- reviews. you should add some division and multiplication next week. its a unique technique of reviewing other kids' songs. good job. strait to the point! (especially for E Equals)

Eidolon - very thorough reviews for each person. you used a standard format which has an added feature of a rating system which is on a 0-10 scale. done quite well!

kill me sarah - same as eidolon but your rating system is a little spotty. other than the inconsistant rating system (which ultimately doesnt matter cause you gave my song a rating...), you did a fabulous job with your ratings.

Wages - your reviews are short but still strong and to the point. great 'smiley' incorporation into the reviews. well done!

mr. seavers - these are some of the weakest reviews of them all. very uninformative, short, and boring. nice using a rating system because with out that, the reader would have no clue as to how well the song was rated.

Kweep - your reviews are very week too, but your reviews are very simple and easy to understand.

Jim of Seattle - 500 bonus points for the color usage in your reviews. short reviews and not very detailed, but more of a summorized verson of how you felt about the song. great job.

Furrypedro - you practically wrote an essay for each review. and you typed it in england too. amazing. 10000 pounds christmas bonus. your novel length reviews are highly appreciated. brilliant!

Freddielove - at approximatly Wed Mar 15, 2006 4:06 pm you entered your reviews. for a "weak fight" you gave some strong reviews and id have to say, that they were quite enjoyable to read. you agreed with me about the E equals song and that should should raise your HP by 45. good job.

magickarp used splash.
nothing happened...

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 5:24 am
by furrypedro
jseavers05 wrote:i wanna write reviews again. i need some new songs though... maybe i can write reviews on the reviews.
reviews for The Stink are a bit thin on the ground (nudge, nudge) :wink: :wink:

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 7:40 am
by wages
jseavers05 wrote:i wanna write reviews again. i need some new songs though... maybe i can write reviews on the reviews.
As I thought, you DO have too much time on your hands!

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:51 am
by Eidolon
Wages wrote: I mean a state of mind thing. Instead of feeling you have to "climb" for to a note, imagine yourself singing the exact same note, but sing down to it. I think you will see the difference.
Thanks for writing out your further explanation of your thoughts on singing and expirementing vocally. It was cool to read someone else's ongoing struggles to find their voice(s).

Vocals is ONE of the departments where I have a ton of road left to travel I know.. its always a shame when you really like the music of your song and then go ahead and slather it with some grating vocals.. :) I think its trial by fire myself.. I look forward to the day where the vocals will add to and not subtract from my songs.. I can tell when they're off.. so as KMS said, i'm halfway there.. I remain positive.. may SF! remain patient.. hah! 8)

I'm sure I could ramble further on this, but thats perhaps for the 'getting better' thread or whatever its called.
Kweep wrote:I couldn't find a link to the song itself... but check out:

http://www.glennyarbrough.com/

That's the guy that sang it... and the tune that plays when you hit his site will snap you right back into middle earth... or into the 60's music of spinal tap
OMG..! Thanks Kweep... thats great. I think I can hear the similarities that made you think of that.. I still haven't had any luck with finding a copy of the frodo song though.. its a big internet though.
Frisbee wrote:Ah sounds like someone shares my pain of recording with less than par equipment...
Well, I have no idea what par my stuff is, but i WAS having a really weird day when I recorded the guitar and vocals.. I think my sm58 is shittin' out on me... or my recording unit.. I couldn't get decent levels to save my ass. I'll have to figure that out for sure.

Love the food review style though! mmmm eggrolls..

jseavers wrote: i wanna write reviews again. i need some new songs though... maybe i can write reviews on the reviews.
Meta-reviews..! How awesomely bizarre. Made my morning even more bewildering than usual. :)

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Once again, thanks for the feeback and listens all! Oh yeah, to hear the positive guitar comments I got from a lot of you sorta does help to lessen all the negative vox comments... ;) thanks for the neg and the pos!

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 11:26 am
by Kill Me Sarah
jseavers05 wrote:kill me sarah - same as eidolon but your rating system is a little spotty.
I think you should stick with reviewing songs... I don't know if I can bear TWO bad reviews every week ;)