The Song Fight Bulletin Board

tonetripper wrote:Andy Balham ... are you by chance related to Johnny Cashpoint?

Only by country of birth and musical influences.

Congratulations to LD on their deserved win. Thanks to all those who did reviews and, of course, special thanks to my voter!

Congrats to Loyalty Day on their win. I just want to thank everyone who did reviews. And, so you know they didn't go completely to waste, I've actually gone back and made some changes to my song based on some of the comments.

On the positive side, I see that I must be improving. My previous two songs have earned one vote each and now I've doubled the votes. (Please, let me stay disillusioned for this week)

Magnetbox wrote:Congrats to Loyalty Day on their win. I just want to thank everyone who did reviews. And, so you know they didn't go completely to waste, I've actually gone back and made some changes to my song based on some of the comments.

On the positive side, I see that I must be improving. My previous two songs have earned one vote each and now I've doubled the votes. (Please, let me stay disillusioned for this week)

You should post a URL for your updated version of your song. I've always thought it would be cool to do a "one week later" update of the songs from a fight to see how/if people changed them in response to the reviews.

congratulations Kamakura on a tie for second place.

Loyalty Day only beat us by 3 1/2 times as more votes!

Lunkhead wrote:You should post a URL for your updated version of your song. I've always thought it would be cool to do a "one week later" update of the songs from a fight to see how/if people changed them in response to the reviews.

Well, ok, since you asked. As a side note, I re-recorded new vocals, but I'm still not 100% happy with them. I'd like to at least redo the third verse, but I'm slowly losing my voice to a cold so that isn't going to happen any time soon. Sorry. I did redo the bass, but I couldn't get my drummer this week to re-do the drum part so there may still be some slight timing issues at a few parts. Basically, if you didn't like the song structure or thought the lyrics were crap, I didn't change it that much. But still, I think it is a marked improvement over what I had.

Also, if anyone wants to PM me some constructive criticism that differs from what's already been said, that would be greatly appreciated. I use this forum as a way to improve my songwriting and my performing technique.

The URL of the updated song is here.

Hoblit wrote:congratulations Kamakura on a tie for second place.

Why thank you. I've only just found this 'cause the party went on for so long. I should say 'I'm not worthy', but what the hell.

Hoblit wrote:Loyalty Day only beat us by 3 1/2 times as more votes!

Back to earth with a bump.
A well deserved victory, though I am amazed, AMAZED I say, that the BeWells only got 5 votes.

Wow, that version is way way better, Magnetbox. The vocals are much improved.