nyjm wrote:
efemjay
/// genre bias: not generally being a fan of rap, you have to do something exceptional to grab me ///
+++ props for the social justice topic +++
--- sonically repetitive: move that outro break down up and develop it more ---
Thank you for the genre-bias disclaimer. Part of that goes into the "sonically repetitive" criticism, too, because hip-hop (at least the kind I do) isn't going to have drastic changes within the body of each verse. But your criticism is appreciated and valid nonetheless, because there is more I could have done... I could have varied the drums more, changed the bassline a bit here or there, etc. If the song was longer, I'd leave the outro where it is as a bridge to the third verse. Thanks again for the honest review.
signboy wrote:
Efemjay
the beatz need to be lower, and a touch lowpass filtered. They get in the way of the vocals. I'm not really a fan of the old-school rhyme scheme, but you pull it off well.
It's funny you say this because I was worried about the vocals being mixed too loud. Thanks again for the disclaimer; it's gratifying to know someone can appreciate my song even if they don't like the style.
oddbod wrote:
efemjay - I'm strangely attracted to the weird organ which gives this track it's character. Otherwise I find there's not too much that takes this out of the generic/run of the mill. But it's tight and well put together and the rhymes are fun - Orientation/Laurie&Jason is my particular favourite.
I'm glad you liked the organ and even gladder you picked out a favorite rhyme. The track is sort of blandish, I guess; laid back. Some people like that, others find it "generic" like you did.
MENBAH! wrote:
efemjay: Can’t think of anything that put me off at all. Vote.
Glad you liked it!
bdog5778 wrote:
efemjay
Nice production. Nice lyrical cadences. LOVE the keyboard. Don't care for the "uh-huh"s. The bike horn is excellent. The gronky outro is sweet, too. Not a fan of this style, but you've done here, you've done well.
This was a very satisfying review! You said what you liked and what you didn't, and seemed to enjoy the song even though you're not a fan of the style. I couldn't ask for more.
Paco Del Stinko wrote:
efemjay - I have like, two rap CDs in my collection, minus Beastie Boys (of course) but this reminds me of Digital Underground Sex Packets which I love. The goof move of the guy leaving his phone on is so delightfully embarrasing. Nice beat and loops, open and airy, a nice hint of mystery. I enjoy your delivery and the skippity-bippity ending sounds like something I'd do. Not that that makes it good!
I have loads of respect for you as a musician, so for you to like the track (and to say why) means a lot. Though I wasn't going for a Sex Packets-like sound here, I can definitely see what you mean, in terms of the tones used.
Mike Lamb wrote:
efemjay
This is awesome, sweet old-school rhyme. I love the lyrics, haha. Fantastic. Lots of people hate on the songfight rap, but this is really well done. I would totally buy this album. Vote.
Wow, that was a head-swelling review. Thank you.
ElaineDiMasi wrote:
efemjay - The chorus is a hook! Story's kinda grainy.
I don't really get what you're saying here, but thanks for listening.
irwin wrote:
efemjay - Intro could be half the length without losing anything. Some nice rhymes and excellent flow. Yeah, this is foot-tapping. I feel like I want a little more of a transition ramp up from the verse to the chorus, at least in the first verse. I like the breakdown at the end. I think it would be a little more effective if the "shoulda kept it in my pants. Or at least took my cellphone _out_ of my pants" bit came at the end. I like the contrast of that line vs. the "I truly have remorse!" one. Yeah I like this one a lot. Nice Clarissa Explains it All reference.
Another very gratifying and helpful review. Glad you liked it; even gladder you offered ideas for improvement and some different takes on how things could be arranged more effectively.
THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed or even listened to my song. I am already a SongFight junky now, and I'm tweaking waiting for them to post the next song title!!!