The Song Fight Bulletin Board

So I finally saw Episode 2 tonight. It turned into Mystery Science Theater (amateur edition) pretty quickly. Gosh, what an awful movie.

yeah, I only got around to seeing it after seeing all the special-effects breakdowns at Siggraph and thinking, "Well, hey, the effects people spent so much attention to detail, it can't have been that bad, right?"

I just love how big evil Darth Vader turned out to become this evil shadow overlord basically by being a whiny brat who would otherwise be posting self-cutting pictures on LiveJournal or something.

Just got back from it. (Have to get up in 3 hours for school :/) It was actually pretty good. I cried at two points, but then, heh, it was sad. I don't wanna be too spoilery, but I liked it. Yoda, R2-D2, and the Wookies were badasses. Anyone else seen it yet?

I'll just repost what I put to my LiveJournal:

It was good! Wow! There's some camp dialogue, but in fairness Episodes I-VI all have some camp dialogue. (Episodes I and II have it in spades, however). There was some funniness at the theater but I won't go into it and don't ask me to. I ought to watch the OT again now with the as-full-as-canonical knowledge of the events prior.

--

Spoiler alert, maybe. What'd Padme say before she croaked?

Also just got back. Also have to be up in 3 hours (for work).

It greatly exceeded my (low) expectations. Firstly, it looks amazing. Every frame of CGI in the movie is a potential desktop background.

Spoilers

The first half is just like Attack Of The Clones (all the boring politics, stilted dialogue, listless acting and un-engaging videogame battles) with a singular and potent exception: General Grievous. The General is easily the best CGI creation I've seen. His hunched posture and failing bronchials recall Gollum. He just kicks so much ass (a quick grammar check tells me this should be “He just kicks so many asses”) that there's nothing else to say about him.

The second half is exactly what anyone could want from this movie, and more. Lucas managed to nail exactly 1/6th of this trilogy perfectly. It frequently rewards fans of the originals. Also, Lucas really grew a set of balls for this section: I can think of three scenes that were much more brutal than I was prepared for, and I respect George for that. Still no blood, though.

The trouble is the scene that bipartitions these two sections, the crucial moment in which Anakin turns to the dark side, might be the worst scene in the entire new trilogy. It's 2 steps to the left of unwatchable. Bad writing, bad special effects, overacting, underacting, and really, really, really ugly makeup. Ugh.

Finally, I love when Kenobi said “Only the Sith think in absolutes”. I laughed so loud, mostly because that scene was supposed to be deadly serious and that one line completely messed up the moment for me.

For all you yay-sayers out there, realize that ending my opining on a negative note does NOT mean I did not like this movie.

I am pretty much right in line with Puce here, I was nodding off through the first half, and then it got pretty fun to watch around the last hour. I laughed out loud at a couple parts, in the same manner you did at the absolutes line, can't remember where tho'.

Did anyone else dress up? I wore a batman mask designed for 7 year olds.

EDIT:
Also, is it just me, or is the most creative way to finish off a fight in SW movies the loss of a hand?

What was it Palpatine said in the trailer? "The Dark Side gives a man powers that some would consider...[significant pause]...unnatural."

I saw the trailer with Other Half before watching Hitch Hiker. I've never heard a hundred people snort with derision before. But that's what the audiance in the cinema did.

Acts one and two: D
Act three: B
Tarzan Yodel: -21 grams (the weight of a soul)
Vader's "NOOOOOOO": -two eyeballs (that rolled out of my head)
Further mention of midichlorians: -.04 liters (the amount of gas in the avg fart)
-------------------------------
Total= C-

Don't ask me to explain the math.

D+ Soooooooo boring. The first thirty minutes is Star Wars Comedy Spotlight, with Obi-Wan crackin' the one-liners like Howie Mandel or something. And then it's on to the incredibly boring Senate/Jedi Council stuff like the last ones. It picks up some steam about 20 minutes from the end of this 2hr 20 min. movie. Ugh. Bye Star Wars. It was nice knowing you (I guess...).

Big. Fucking. Awful. Shame.

SW I, II, III, are to IV, V, VI as Brian Herbert is to Frank Herbert. It's awful, awful crap.

My friends were way too excited about this, and I had my hopes up. They somehow convinced themselves it was better than Empire.


MacGregor actually was pretty decent, when he wasn't telling "jokes". Other than that, and a few decent action sequences, this movie was absolute, total, unabashed shit, and should be remembered as such for all eternity. By comparison to the other performances, Palpatine's actually seemed reserved and authentically talented. I'm sure in any other movie, I wouldn't be able to say the same.

Hey! I know what Star Wars needs! A sexy female alien!

Well. I really enjoyed it. I'm actually thinking about seeing it again while it's still on the big screen. It is my favorite of the new three.

As far as OVERACTING...did ya'll not see the original 3? It's space drama...it's gonna have that element. I thought the moments where Anikan turned were great. I had a hard time imagining how it would happen until it did.

Agreed, Darth Vader's 'NOOOOO!' made me cringe a little bit. However, it immediatly reminded me of the scene in Empire Strikes Back where he tells Luke that he is his father. Luke says, and I quote "NooooooooOOOOoooooo!". Like father like son I say.

Also, who's programming robots to say 'aarrgghh' when they are decommisioned by laser blasts? "uh oh" ? Well, ICQ uses it...why not robots from a galaxy far far away.

Thats it, everything else was stunning. I love political struggle in movies so that made my day. Although I know this was already written..I think the screenplay's dialogue may have been adapted a bit to current events.

I think people are way critical today of these new movies because they can't hide behind the 'fresh idea' glamour that the original movies had the advantage of. We as a society have come to expect even more out of these films because of their original lore. I like them on the same level as the original three. Good fun political space action movie.

<b>sparks:</b> Get back to me after you get past your late teen/early 20's 'i hate everything because I'm too intelligent and sophisticated' angst. *SMILEY* (I'm just poking your ribs)

Hoblit wrote:Agreed, Darth Vader's 'NOOOOO!' made me cringe a little bit. However, it immediatly reminded me of the scene in Empire Strikes Back where he tells Luke that he is his father. Luke says, and I quote "NooooooooOOOOoooooo!". Like father like son I say.

That one wasn't cliche. That was a "NOOOOO" of denial, of astonished, aghast fury. That one worked.

New worst band name ever: The MIDI Chlorians.

I haven't seen the movie yet, and I wonder when I might. BUT I've seen this cool Creative Commons video mash-up.

I thought it was excellent. If you can't enjoy this movie, you don't want to enjoy this movie. It's 1000 times better than the last two and I think probably better than ROTJ.

frankie big face wrote:It's 1000 times better than the last two and I think probably better than ROTJ.

Yeah, but so are most Old Navy commercials.

Hoblit wrote:Well. I really enjoyed it. I'm actually thinking about seeing it again while it's still on the big screen.

I would see it again, too, but I would be an hour late on purpose.

frankie big face wrote:I thought it was excellent. If you can't enjoy this movie, you don't want to enjoy this movie. It's 1000 times better than the last two and I think probably better than ROTJ.

I came in with a pretty open, optimistic mind, and I was totally let down. There's no way you can be that positive about this, just because you grew up watching the SW trilogy. There are so many people who would have been so let down if ep. III sucked that they simply can't deal with the fact that it does.

Hoblit, I'm sorry, but you fit in with this group. There is no way you can be that apologetic for this film and honestly, deeply still believe it. This movie blew.

Hoblit wrote:Agreed, Darth Vader's 'NOOOOO!' made me cringe a little bit.

I thought that was funny. The crap line was "Hold me like you held me by the lake on Naboo!" There were more crap lines but that one was hilariously awful.

sparks wrote:

frankie big face wrote:I thought it was excellent. If you can't enjoy this movie, you don't want to enjoy this movie. It's 1000 times better than the last two and I think probably better than ROTJ.

1. I came in with a pretty open, optimistic mind,

2. There are so many people who would have been so let down if ep. III sucked that they simply can't deal with the fact that it does.

3. Hoblit, I'm sorry, but you fit in with this group. There is no way you can be that apologetic for this film and honestly, deeply still believe it. This movie blew.

1. No you didn't. I'm with frankie on that.

2. So you really think that everybody who enjoyed the movie is in some sort of denial? That is a really stupid thing to say and I would only hope that if you thought about it for a minute you would realize that.

3. I can't have critisims and still enjoy a movie? There are particular songs on a few albums that I listen to that I don't particurarily like. Does this mean I think the albums suck? No, I just have critisims for those songs...that doesn't render the whole piece void.

Ok, I get it, you don't like the movie, I can dig. But don't start attacking those who do by deconstructing them into lesser people.