The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Me$$iah wrote:Future Boy- its all good

and Id like to offer Mr Balham my most humble contrafibularities on his song which I found to be most peptic and combunctious

thanks

Im off now to cook some sausages

Cool, they're teaching kids to use thesaureses again. It's about time, now if we could just get back to reviewing this thread would be complete.

Sausage Boy – Cool groove. Goes on a bit long. Words hard to make out. Ok. Second submission this week? The submission guidelines politely request avoiding this.

Dan-O from Five-O – Nice vocal delivery for style. Words are OK, but the swing style works well with the depth (or lack thereof) of the content. Great guitar solo, I was waiting for a sax, but this works (and it’s not synth J). The arrangement could vary more for the length of the tune. Pretty catchy.

Electrocushin – Genre Bias alert – Acid made techno so easy to do that everyone and their brother started doing it. I am an immediate skeptic. This has a good beat, but nothing to really get my attention or make it stand out from many other similar tracks. I see no connection to the title. Very abrupt ending. This is maybe a song with no sleeves?…Next

Andy Balham feat.Sarah Beanz – Nice sound. I especially like the way the mix kicks up the energy in the chorus. Tanktop = 80s, I don’t know, this is a hard sell for me, tank tops seem more timeless to me – A Streetcar Named Desire for instance. Ok song, but I’m not struck by your take on the topic.

Henrietta and the Hostage – Nice double guitar texture. Great voice. I like that this sounds like a regular song. “Heart on my sleeves” connection is awesome – nice poetry. I really like your take. CONTENDER. Rhetorical question: If you had written this same song under different circumstance do you think “Tanktop” would have been the title?

Deshead – Wow! Thick sound, nice synth strings in this texture. Professional sounding all around. Conjures many things, Kansas…the harmony vocals on the chorus remind me of something I can’t quite put my finger on – sounds great. Pretty interesting take on the title, but I’ll admit I’ve never heard the phrase Tanktop actually used by anyone describing topping off a tank. The song structure and hook work great. No complaints. Ahh, a little Glycerine-sounding Bush in there. Using the lateral interpretation of title this makes an apples/oranges fight. Hmm. CONTENDER

Song Fight Orchestra – So, looking at the site for a few months before actually getting an opportunity to participate I noticed songs by SFO and wondered “How come that guy gets to use the SongFight name?” Well I have since learned and understand the point. Given the suddenness of the punk intro I wonder if you’re not breaking the SFO rules of growing out of the previous song. But as for the song, I like the sort of Clashiness of it and the alternative take on the title. Before I chose Man Speaking German this week I had considered writing a tune with this twist, the top of a tank. You did it much better than I would have, But the song seems like an incomplete thought (I realize you are limited to 45 seconds). I guess that’s a side effect of being SFO.

Penguin Map Mijinko – (see genre bias notea bove under Electrocusion) I will admit that I apparently don’t really get this song. Who rates it low? In what context? Without that the song just sort of bops along and keeps on bopping.

Steve Durand – Disclosure: This is my older brother. But my family is pretty good at honest feedback.
I like the Hawaiian sound of it, good location for a tank top. The vocals seem too low in the mix to me. Good chorus (second song listing colors, interesting), good harmony. I like that you included a pidgeon phrase. Some of the variation in programming is, I think just a bit too varied. I’m going to guess you ran out of time to add a little percussion or something to vary the arrangement. Cool little solo. Very pleasant and good narrative well unfolded. Many of the story songs I’ve hear in my two weeks here sound a little forced, but this flowed well. I think I need a Corona! CONTENDER

WreckdoM - And for the second week, not my thing. I don’t really feel qualified to comment on something that is apparently out of my range of appreciation. But then, the last line really makes me question this song. I thought I was listening to a man dedicated to the philosophy of tank top, as if was MEANT to wear them. Then it says “good enough for me” as if he is settling by wearing them. Seemed antithetical to the song.

Pileus – Solid groove. The story-over-groove works great, and you deliver it well. I hope there are some female vocals coming in for the chorus. The second verse gets a little crass for my taste. Yeah, you definitely need a backing vocal only chorus on this …“Tanktop.” The type of criticism I hate to make, you tell someone what their song should have been, but I associate that so much with this genre that it truly seems to be missing.

Forty Second Songs – “I want someone to hold” sounds great. The “hold yourself,” “love yourself” stuff didn’t quite hit for me. I like the story of the song OK, contrasting the cold clothes with warm. Similar question as I posed to someone else, Isn’t the title of this song S-K-I-N (see note below)? I like the way you write and look forward to hearing more, but this topic took you a little campier than I had a taste for today.

Future Boy – Techno – see genre bias. Vocals sound great. Yeah, you get it at “eyeballs pop.” Once again I have a title issue, just a mood I’m in I guess (see note below). Isn’t this song really called “Tank Top Tim.” I like how you take the point of view of both boys and girls. Harmonies on the chorus are great. Very well done and cool (for lack of a better word). CONTENDER

Squirrel Damage – when the Electric guitars come in it’s hard to hear the vocals. Nice lead guit, totally reminds me of Teenage Fanclub (which I love). Yeah, the chorus has that Teenage Fanclub sound, too. Good tune, good words for the most part (“feeling like an elf”?). I wish your vocals were stronger, but I do my best to review the song unless the performance actually gets In the way. I just haven’t figured out “Is like a mop” (never mind, I listened again, got it – pretty complex metaphor well incorporated into this adolescent moment). I like Rock, I like the sound, melodic even with loud guitars. CONTENDER

LMNOP – Intro sounds like early 70s Neil Young. OK so I read some comments in the discussion so I get that Leroy is a dog. Nice harmonies, I think you nailed the genre, but he words are a little off-beat. I like it, though. So many men have walked in the park with their dog checking out women and … female dogs. As with several others I’m not sure if I buy that Tanktop is the real title of this song.

I’m sure some readers will be bugged by my comments about title. I guess we all have our own criteria/mindset about this. I will now explain my self in advance of the critics (who are welcome). I view the challenge of song fight to be creating a song with particular title. I realize that the description on the FAQ says “inspired by” but it also calls them titles. I don’t, however think that the words of the title need necessarily be in the song or in the chorus or whatever for a title to be appropriate, consider “Subterranean Homesick Blues” for instance. So I am not applying a litmus test. But I figure LMNOP, if writing this song under other circumstances, might call it “A Walk in the Park” for instance. A good song, lots of things I like about it, but if asked to vote based on which is the best song FOR THE TITLE the fact that it doesn’t seem as if it would have that title will be a point against it in my vote. I’d still be likely to vote for it over a poor song, but if it’s close, I’ll choose the closer title match.

Anyway that’s me.

My top four in no particular order – Steve Durand, Squirrel Damage, Future Boy, Deshead

rdurand wrote: Steve Durand – Disclosure: This is my older brother. But my family is pretty good at honest feedback.
My top four in no particular order – Steve Durand, Squirrel Damage, Future Boy, Deshead

No particular order.

hey, nothing wrong with good old brotherly love

Thanks for all the great feedback! There's quality stuff in this fight, and I'm equal parts impressed & intimidated. Reviews coming soon.

deshead wrote:Are you a fan of Angie Hart?

We heart Frente, though any resemblance was completely unintentional. I haven't heard anything by her lately though....

Future Boy wrote:...you refer to your "tank top" and then immediately afterwards there's a line about removing your sleeves and I think, "but tank tops don't have sleeves

A ha! Unless I'm wearing a long sleeved shirt over my tank top.... You're right, I should probably say that I've cut the sleeves off already, in the past tense, and that could explain why I happened to be wearing a tank top in the first place.

jack shite wrote:it's similar and different, which is really cool.

You have no idea how much I appreciate this. Thanks!

rdurand wrote:Sausage Boy – Cool groove. Goes on a bit long. Words hard to make out. Ok. Second submission this week? The submission guidelines politely request avoiding this.

Actually, first submission. Man Speaking German is the second. MSG is the spare of the moment submission, while Tank Top is carefully constructed bullshit.

deshead wrote:

Andy Balham wrote:suspect that WreckdoM are the leaders at the moment…

On behalf of Geoff, I suggest you vote now!

FWIW Geoff you got my vote even when I had finally sobered up

deshead wrote:How was the pizza?

Delicious and all the better for the addition of pickled jalepenos!

Andy balham
+++ A nice husky female voice, clearly sung, over a great pop rock song +++
--- Tempo seems too slow, like everything drags. ---
/// Crap solo is kind of working ///

Dan O From Five O
+++ Awesome swingin' track! +++
--- Needs a real brass section ---
+++ I'm listenign closely to the lyrics and now I'm really diggin it. Possible vote. +++

Deshead
+++ OMG another awesome Deshead song +++
--- Some trouble with the high notes ... I wanna be THERE. For someone that can shift registers without really knowing how to sing, listen more closely to the first Coldplay album. ---
/// I wasn't that stoked about this song at first, but after listening all week, It's the one I keep coming back to ///

Electrocushin
/// Not bad, but not memorable ///
--- Maybe you forgot to put the words in, and to make an ending ---

40 Second Songs
--- Your pitchy singing is nowhere near the Snow Fort entry, and the lyrics are a little forced here. ---
+++ I like that B3 there. +++
--- No, that line about loving yourself doesn't compute for me either. Oh god no you didn't just say probLEMS did you? WTF? ---

Future Boy
+++ Oh shit let's go cruising in our Jetta past the Gen-X bars!! +++
/// Not quite sure about the bisexual intentions there ///
+++ OK, I like that little break at the 0:46 mark +++
--- Although it's in key, the lead synth in the chorus just is an unwelcome melody ---

Henrietta and the Homsar
--- I like the word anachoic but the melody is off key on that note. ---
+++ In general a good structure and a very engagin voice +++
/// I like the idea of the shirt sleeves, it's a stretch rhythmically, but forgiveable ///

LMNOP
+++ A fun little ditty, and I totally got what you meant the first time. +++
--- Doesn't need to be doubled the whole track. I'd alternate and probably have the verse in one center-panned voice. It's not like it's a three-part harmony or something ---

Penguin map Mijinko
+++ back in the Jetta!! +++
/// "I hated it, I rated it low" nice rhythm, but it gets old. Needs a real verse, not a talkover/sample mishmash. aka repetitive ///

Pileus
/// Decent beat. ///
--- Boring flow with crappy bored preppy delivery. Like you wanted to do Max the Cat's awesome <a href="http://www.songfight.org/music/prep_sch ... .mp3">Prep School</a> but just didn't haev the talent or personality or balls, man. ---

Sausage Boy
+++ Now this has balls, man. I'm surprised you didn't catch more two-turd heat this week. I think they're ignoring you liek a troll now. The thing is, I liek this despite my better judgment. It's got a played out amen break, crappy repitition, worthless lyrics terribly delivered. And yet it's freaking catchy. I might try to cover this if I'm really bored. +++

Song Fight Orchestra
+++ Sing-a-long punk rock in a slightly different sound. I really enjoy the concept of this sitting in among Glenn and CCS' bits. +++

Squirrel Damage
+++ Reminds me of Pavement +++
--- Reminds of a lot of the rambling obnoxiously pretentious amateurity of Pavement. Oh and pitchy. Very pitchy ---

Steve Durand
/// This sounds liek Jason Irvin's Vehicle. Some song about pirates. ///
+++ "Dat girl - she's da kind" +++

Wreckdom
--- Sonically vapid ---
+++ Yes, this totally makes me laugh. On repeat listens. That's awesome. Some classic lines. Ruth's Christ Steak House. I'm not allowed to eat cake...+++

YAY

Congrats there to Future Boy on a well deserved win

best song in all the fights this week I recon

well done

1: balham (60's! catchy)
future boy (great!)
squirrel (cool. this melodic guitar line at :21 - repeats several times. at least the last time, or maybe every other time, it should have different notes in it and not just repeat. woo woos are great.
2: penguin (interesting. i like the bellsynth.)
deshead (listenable, but missing a spark for me)
electro (this song doesn't say "tank top" to me, and it's too short. what, just got bored or something?)
sfo (interesting, but mix needs some work i think)
wreckdom (i love the bassy things, but the song as a whole isn't together enough for me)
lnmop (enjoyable, especially the handclaps, good vox)
steve (good)
henrietta (i liked this)
40ss (i'd totally rate this higher if you hadn't entered two fights, contrary to sf conventions)
dan-o (good, but missing something. this is lacking in beef, i guess. might need to work on the eq.)
not inspired by: pileus
sausage boy, plus there's that entering twice thing.

darn, i guess i missed being able to vote.
i think i probably would have voted for balham. sorry dude.
-bill

Favorites in blue

40 Second Songs
Sorry, my Ipod refused to play your song, so I didn't get to hear it. So here, I'll make up a review for you and you can decide if I came even close. Uhhh….. Great job. I like the vocals in the chorus, and I love the riff you get going during the fade-out. I wish the arangement had a bit more low end, but I think I've said that before about previous songs of yours…..So how was that? Anyway, I'll try to download it again.

Deshead
This is solidly competent in every way. There's nothing to complain about at all, totally radio-ready, and stands head and shoulders above most of the songs in all 4 fights, but on a completely professional-level, it doesn't really move me, and almost seems a little too calculatedly pop. In the Songfight world, it's fantastic. If I'd heard it on the radio I'd barely have noticed it go by.

Electrocushin
My track is only 1 minute long at stops midstream, so I might have not received all of it. From what I got of it, it's perfectly competent electronic dance music. Not much else to go on. Don't know if it's my fault or yours…

<font color=blue>Henrietta and the Hostage
Hi, by the way. Haven't talked to you since our collab. My estimation of your abilities in the interim has increased since your Romantic Cheapskate finds itself running through my head fairly often. This one is pretty too. I like the changes a lot, and I love the first time you sing "Do you forgive me yet", because you syncopate it nicely. Later you sing the line again, but it's not syncopated in the same cool way. As for the rest of the song, I feel like perhaps the tune rambles around without enough shape or direction. But I still like it.</font>

Sausage Boy
No, I DO NOT like that distorted vocal effect. Not at all. Very disappointing, since the song starts out with a promising rock. Didn't make it all the way through.

Song Fight Orchestra
This is a good punk song. By doing punk, you've made the length problem work in your favor, since punk songs are often this short. Great job. Can't wait to graft it on. Your segue from the previous song works, though it's sort of a cheat since you come out of it into something completely different, but that's really just a finger wag your way and not a big deal.

Penguin Map Mijinko
Not quite sure what this song is, but it's well made, and pleasant enough. To me it's not a whole lot more than a well-produced groove, but as a well-produced groove, it's good. As a completely realized song, not so much.

Pileus
Nothing really to say about this one. OK I guess.

Squirrel Damage
Nor this one.

<font color=blue>Steve Durand
I'm amused by that keyboard patch that sounds like a uke but so clearly is NOT a uke! This is very nice, though one has to wonder why you wrote it. It seems so irony-free for being in a style that begs to be treated with irony. But yeah, good job.</font>

Wreckdom
I cracked up when you couldn't pronounce Ruth's Chris Steak House. It's a joke my wife and I have as well. Is that the worst restaurant name ever or what? Your songs works better when the background noise is kept to a minimum like it is in this one. This one's funny.

<font color=blue>Andy Balham
You know, this song totally works. Melodically just interesting enough to be fresh, and the changes are nice in a 60's acid-rock way. I'm reminded of some old garage band hit. I appreciate that the vocal is mixed enough to be heard and is sung well. Good job.</font>

<font color=blue>LMNOP
I like the very tight vocal harmonies. The music and lyrics complement each other better than I usually hear on SF. The band sounds like it's saying the same thing that the lyrics are. They all work together to make a total package. Very nice.</font>

Dan-O from Five-0
This is fine, but never really raises itself above the level of successfully imitating the jazz fusion style.

Future Boy
This is alright. Not as musically charming as your best songs. My favorite part is how the verse comes to a hard stop about half a bar before I expect it to.

EightLeggedOedipus wrote:Sausage Boy
+++ Now this has balls, man. I'm surprised you didn't catch more two-turd heat this week. I think they're ignoring you liek a troll now. The thing is, I liek this despite my better judgment. It's got a played out amen break, crappy repitition, worthless lyrics terribly delivered. And yet it's freaking catchy. I might try to cover this if I'm really bored. +++

Let me know if you need the lyrics deciphered then.

Me$$iah wrote:Congrats there to Future Boy on a well deserved win

best song in all the fights this week I recon

I agree. Well done, yo!