Reviews Floating on a Dark Matter Stream

[tonetripper]

Draft - Like that opening, and nice entry on the vocals. This song feels like it's seething, about to explode, probably that one unsettling chord, I really like that. Alright, you built up some there. Hopefully it'll go bigger next time. Whatever that thing is that's wiggling around in the background, I like it. This is a good place to go at 3:45. Love the vocals, they're sung really well without being cheesy, you have a little bit of stumbling around drunk in there. (There's a minute of silence at the end... why?) Anyway, the song never really exploded but I really like this one anyway.

... probably gonna vote for draft.

so perhaps you downloaded the version that was posted on the first day that the songs were posted. I revised it and there shouldn't be a minute of silence on the version that is up there now. Just lots of ebow and sonic effects.

I really wanted to go bigger on this tune. I had another part written which would have reflected it, but I never got a chance to put it in, so I left it out. The wiggling sound is TheHipCola's ebow dying (battery dying - 2nd take) which gave all this excellent harmonic content. I used it and felt it kind of sounded like horns. Also a Pro53 was used and I tweaked the sound to a higher pitched sound wich was the high endy aspect of keyboard noodling.

Draft is exactly what it sounds. A draft. A gust of air. A beer. What have you and is usually my drummer friend, TheHipCola (other half of Redcar) and I working, but usually with a real mic'd kit. This is the first draft tune that is all midi drums.

There are some other tunes by draft that really go for more vocally. Check them out here if you like.

Thanks for the potential vote.

[rone rivendale]

Rone Rivendale - (Where does your name come from? I've been wanting to ask for a while.) First of all, your loop doesn't fit together properly, there are little rhythmic hitches every few seconds. Your singing doesn't really hit any particular pitches. Good roning though.

Rone Rivendale is a character from the novel series Barnespa, of which I am the Author of. I wouldn't look for it in any bookstore though since I started the 1st book of Barnespa in '98 and I still haven't finished it.

I think it's funny as hell how I got a term in SF named after myself.

BTW Carpetburn, the entry I'm involved in for next fight is more of my "Roning" but it does have some emotion in small doses at just the right spots.

[PipeFist]

a bebop a rebop - My favorites were draft, The Little Smokes, Swindle Staccato (nice lyrics, the both of you), and Carpetburn... probably gonna vote for draft.

Aww...no review for Pipefist?

[Cärpetbürn]

oh yeah, that reminds me..
Bill Burley: Sounds nice. I like the vocal effects, and the organ sound in the background. this reminds me of something. are the lyrics posted? what i can hear of them sound interesting. This has a bit of an eighties feel to me, partly to do with the chorus and the way you play guitar but i like it. I don't think I would've voted for it but it's one of the better songs in the fight, I'm glad i listened to it.

[a bebop a rebop]

Aw, shit, I'm sorry guys. That's what I get for going out on a limb and doing reviews in non-alphabetic order.

draft, I love the new quietly psychotic ending of your song.

Pipefist - Nice little hazy opening. Love the singing, you gots a lot of expression. Sha-na-na-na-na, that's good, I like it, and the chord progression change at the chorus is nice too. The complete non-swinging percussion during the chorus is... interesting. Nice idea but it still doesn't feel quite right to me, after a few listens. Ultimately it doesn't go anywhere but it's a nice little song, and great singing.

Bill Burley - Love the vocal stylings here, the great harmonies in the verses and then the really nice higher vocals in the chorus. However, on speakers, on the first listen, that hyperactive organ kinda gets in the way for me... it may be the fact that the vocals are a little bit quiet overall, because the guitars are a bit forward for me as well, kinda noisy. I'm liking this more and more each time I listen to it, really nice job.

I still would have voted for draft, but you probably come in a solid second, Mr. Burley.

[HansGruber]

But you’re still not singing or rapping, just kind of……roning? I hope that term catches on.

Ha! I'll help perpetuate it. Add it to the Songfight Glossary of Terms next to "Phunt".

"Roning" is definitely not the same as "Phunting". Not in the torn pages of my book, at least.

Yeah, I agree, B. I thought that comment might receive some flak. I didn't mean to compare them at all, just to add to the encyclopedia of unique (and meaningful) songfight terminology. And despite my scorn towards the Roner's efforts, I feel affection for anyone showing up here, giving it a (seemingly) sincere shot week after week. And I miss the Phunts...

[HansGruber]

However, on speakers, on the first listen, that hyperactive organ kinda gets in the way for me...

Thanks for the review (Both Bebop and Carpetburn), and glad you liked it. Cashpoint also thought that the keyboards were too much, so I did a mix without them. I think the song sounds better without - I got caught up in the gimmickry as I often do The mastering still blows; will get to that later.

Carpetburn - the lyrics are posted in Ye olde Archive.

[a bebop a rebop]

I can't say whether I like it better either way. Upon listening to this mix, I can tell it's really more the front-and-center electric guitar that's bugging me, the one that comes in about 0:14. I just feel like it's a bit too forward and loud in both mixes.

In the mix without the keyboard, it does feel like the choruses are a bit wanting of something... more. They're just a bit empty. Or you could go for even more empty, maybe take out that strummy guitar in the choruses, that might be really neat.

But don't let me tell you how to mix your song. I like each version a lot.

[cr410]

Hi, everyone. (This is my first time posting.)
I'd like to say thanks to everyone who took the time to listen to my song. I would also like to send extra thanks to those who took the time to review it. It was very much appreciated.

First off, those of you who said the sound levels are off are completely right. I knew this when I sent it in, but I was just under the wire for the deadline. And before you say it, no, I wasn't procrastinating (which is rare for me.)

This was my first songfight, and my first time writing and recording a rap song. Despite the sound being off, I really wanted to send it in because of the work I put in on it, and because I felt that it might be half-way humorous to some people. I was very happy when I saw the comments that some of you were kind enough to write about it being amusing.

Finally, as this was my first songfight, I'd like to say thanks for making it a positive experience. No one was like "You suck! (insert harsh abuse here)!" Pretty much all of the negative comments I received were aimed at helping me make the song better, many with suggestions on what to do different. I look forward to participating in a future songfight with you all...and hopefully I'll get the sound right next-time.

P.S. I was kind of split as to whether or not I should write a review of everyone else's songs. I didn't want to seem pretentious (after all, I am new to songfight), but at the same time I really enjoyed getting feedback and I wanted to "return the favor" for anyone else who might be like me. But since it seems like everyone's opinion is welcome (and I've listened to everyone's songs) I'll probably try to post one if I get the time to actually write one. ("Real life" is really pressing on me this month.)

[johnsonic]

Hey, Welcome!

Reviews are always appreciated, if you got the time...

Speaking of, mine will be tackled tomorrow.

That's an interesting word - tackled.

[tonetripper]

Especially since the Super Bowl's coming....

[johnsonic]

Why are fishing lures called tackle? Don't know why this word is on the brain.

A-Log
- This is horrible. You obviously can use loops poorly. I'm hanging on to see if this goes anywhere. Doesn't seem to. I think it could have been more interesting if it didn't get busy so fast.... save some elements for later and bring them in more slowly. That would give the thing some more space, some growth. As it is right now it sounds like an alarm. 1/10

Asperse
- I like that oscillator tone right at the top. There's some interesting tones sneaking in. At a minute in I want to hear some action. OK, don't like the oscillator tone anymore. This suffers in a same way that A-Logs suffers, in that anything organic is poorly recorded (very midrangey). Probably a cheap mic thing... This song doesn't go anywhere. 2/10

cr410
- I want to hear more meat in the vocals, mebbe double some of the words, squeeze the hell out of them? This does a pretty good job of rolling along. The dramatic parts are confusing. Not bad, but it's 5 minutes. I like the "chorus" that comes in around 2:45, maybe bring that in earlier? Reminds me of beck rap a bit... 4/10

draft
- yes, mothafuckin draft. I really like hearing this after the previous, nice and open. Good dose of the melancholy! Like slower stp... real drums are a boon. Atmospheric sounds are great!! You got my vote. 9/10

Carpetburn
- wow, this is pleasant! I like the spongey guitar. You could use more confidence in your voice - that could do alot. The syncopated vocs are cool. Use of harmony would be sweet too, instead of a straight up double. Killer song, arrangement, work on your voice. 7/10

2eclectic Sp00ns
- wow. I don't know what this means. 1/10

Gavin
- I like how that guitar drops out right in the beginning, not sure if was a mistake or intentional, but it grabbed my attention. I'd like to hear this with a band and less cliches. 4/10

Heuristics
- So not my bag. Do you listen to freezepop? I'm not a fan of the straight 8th vocals, but that's probably par for the course for this genre. A lot of cool stuff going on @ 2:00, like that alot. The programming in this is great. The singing I don't like much. 6/10

Jerry Jurkowiscz and the New Crusaders (feat. Johnsonic and the Takahah Surprise)
- I wrote this song about poop because I knew this fight would attract alot of geeky literal interpretations of the title. I regret not having more time to mix / master it, and that it's so damn muddy. And the abrupt fadeout. Takahah says "me teach you imagination". Thanks to Takahah for the second verse and freaky harmonies, and to Hank for the screaming.

The Little Smokes
- Cymbals are harsh. Drums well programmed. Trumpet rocks! Lyrics are very cool, would have liked more imagination in the phrasing. Sounds very much like an online collab in spots. Has a feel the reaper vibe. Not a bad song, not great. 6/10.

Near Global
- Thank god it's short. 2/10

Pipefist
- I agree with TT about opening with that line. Production rocks. Very cool harmonies. Takahah like Irish Reggae. Your voice is awesome. 8/10.

Rone Rivendale
- Wow, another song that starts the same way. Dude, I can't take it. 1/10

Swindle Staccato
- I'm peeing myself. Hysterical harmonies. Good ribbing. 5/10

Two out of Three
- Bring the vocals up, and make them tighter. This has bones, but no sinew. 3/10

the Zero Effect
- YEAH! It's 1969. More definition in the bass, and more accurate vocals = great! 7/10.

[HeuristicsInc]

Do you listen to freezepop?

No, although I seem to recall that one of the first things I heard of j$ was a remix he did of one of their songs? Is this true, or did I make it up?
Are you saying my song sounds like them?
-bill

[johnsonic]

Yeah, there's this dude Kasson Crooker who played with splashdown in the day, who's other projects Symbion Project and Freezepop remind me of your music...

[HansGruber]

Superbowl special review. Thanks to those who took the time to review my song even though it wasn't in the fight - very cool . Some really good efforts for such a ridiculous title. Quite a few keepers in this bunch.

a-log - while I like the silly spoken intro, i have a problem with the loop not being lined up. I'd like to hear transition into some other loops to create more of a composition.

asperse - nice mechanical tones; but ultimately the whine becomes annoying and the delay (while spacey) isn't very interesting alone. I do like your beat, but I wish you'd work up more of a frenzy.

carpetburn - love the humbucker tones and the syncopated beats; it's a nice, odd tune. The panned guitars are cool with headphones. The vox need tightening up around 1:50, everything else is performed so well...it stands out a bit. I'm keeping this one...good inspiration.

cr410 - This is great, really fun...I like the smooth loop and the chorus overdubs are awesome. Very good first rap effort. I like the story; reminds me a bit of the Fresh Prince. The execution is a bit uninspired though, I think that you need to get into the rap more; it sounds like you're just trying to get the words down (the chorus is more forceful and works better than the verses). And don't worry about being pretentious here - I'm sure everyone will appreciate your opinion, as long as it isn't wrong or stupid.

draft - Oh man, me likes this...the spaced-out affected feedback is just gravy over the acoustic and cello, and the drums are amazing - they're really well-tuned, and so artfully applied. Great space-out at the end. Well-designed, tasteful, beautiful, melancholic, and going into my library. Thanks!

eclectic spOOns - I don't know what it means either. Funny ending. Appropriately 'wierd' for the title, but it doesn't really stick with me.

Gavin - Yeah, the strumming is painfully bright. But I like the wa guitar. It would sound great over a deeper acoustic. The lyrics are so maudlin, but I'm not one to talk. Pretty good song - I'm enjoying the mello mood, but my ears are bleeding, so I gotta move on.

Heuristicsinc - Although your tunes don't always 'hit' me I like this one (a lot) - especially the warm fuzz and that detuned synth during the chorus. The words work great with the music, all on edge. I'd like to hear a transition at the end, send the whole thing off in another direction...

Jerry Jurkowicsz - Really cool song. Great atmosphere in the recording - I love the jamminess, and the silliness - it's warm and fun. Perhaps the most original lyrics of the fight, though it'll set back my therapy a few months. Another keeper...

Little Smokes and Steve D. - I'm a sucker for brass. Nice tune, really like the tempo changes...and the chorus. The trumpet rules. I like that break at around 2:00. All around very good, but for some reason a little boring; not sure exactly why.

near Global - Perfect soundtrack to a troupe of shriners driving miniture cars around and around in circles. Over and over again.

Pipefist - Great frigging sound - love the island flavor (especially the vox, slide and percolating bass) The dancehall drums over the chorus sound just a touch 'round' like they need to swing with the guitar just a bit more. But they're gorgeous - what a sweet melody. I'm not crazy about the 'sha-na-na's', but that's just my taste. And it goes into the library. Hm. Tough fight.

Roner - Ah, my perrenial favorite. Your black magic still does not effect me, though I do like the beat - it doesn't quite work stylistically, but I think it gives you a good foundation to work with. Your vox are so unhinged, you should consider a style of music that would compliment them better...maybe be-bop or fusion jazz? I dunno...You remind me of a stoner friend that sings along with video game music while he plays.

Swindle Staccato - Oh shit - so good, what a lush production. It's a genius arrangement. The only thing I don't like is the throaty tenor component of the verse harmonies. It sounds like Kermit. Maybe you're trying to be campy, but the lyrics take care of that without pushing the vocals in that direction. And nice work to Cashpoint. Great collaboration. It's a keeper.

Two outta Three - Big Laughs - I love the bombast, the gangsta history lesson. The loop needs a bit more flavor imo, but the rap is pretty good, gets a little sloppy here and there, but it's pretty cool for what it is.

Zero Effect - Yeah. Joyously poppy and rockin - I'd love to hear a better recording of this, though the rawness adds to the charm some. Good lil' ditty. I hear sesame street too. punk rock poppets.

This was tough decision; I was most impressed with Carpetburn, Draft, Pipefist, and Swindle Staccato - Though Jerry, Little Smokes, Heuristics, and Zero Effect all in a very tight second...The vote goes to Draft. Almost too close to call.

[rone rivendale]

Rone Rivendale
- Wow, another song that starts the same way. Dude, I can't take it. 1/10

Would you mind telling me what you mean by "starts the same way"? Just so I understand what you are complaining about.

You don't like the precursor speaking before the beat starts? Or something else?

[johnsonic]

Rone,

I just meant that it was another song that started with a canned beat and lead right into a geeky voice saying the title verbatim...

[PipeFist]

Yeah, there's this dude Kasson Crooker who played with splashdown in the day, who's other projects Symbion Project and Freezepop remind me of your music...

I likes me some splashdown. Actually, if you go back and listen to Pipefist's, "The Wrong Girl," the vocals in the chorus sound a lot like Splashdown's "King Reborn." I didn't mean to do that at all, but I noticed it after I did it. Or maybe that's just the way I sing it now. I don't remember if it sounds that way on the recording.

[rone rivendale]

Rone,

I just meant that it was another song that started with a canned beat and lead right into a geeky voice saying the title verbatim...

I see, well I'm sorry but since I don't play any instruments all you're gonna hear from me is FruityLoops music except for my collabs.

[johnsonic]

Then your words should make up for it.