OMGWTFWHEREARETHESONGSBBQ (Systematic Panic Reviews)

[erik]

For those of you that like the 'high-guitar tone', IT IS A KEYBOARD.

Man, that makes all the difference in the world, now I hate it.

[HeuristicsInc]

-It's about power.

That's ridiculous. It's not even funny.

But not only the right of free travel... I'm saying...
-bill

[Kamakura]

The K Twins: Drink 1/2 a bottle of whiskey, sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" tonight at the top of your lungs at the local karaoke bar 3 times, go to bed, wake up early, re-record the vocals, remix the song with the keys and vox mixed way lower and the whole thing about 1/2 as fast, drive your Delorean at 88 miles per hour, find a cute new wave girl from 1989 who knows me, and convince her to put this a mix tape that she's making for me. If you did all that I would probably like this song right now. It sounds vaguely like one of those songs that you find on a tape in your mom's attic, and when you play it for someone, they either freak out and tell you a story about how they kissed someone else's boyfriend at their junior prom, or they look at you like "why are you playing me this song?" This song is okay.

I think I should be thanking you... When I get back from therapy I'll let you know.

[Dan Wrekenhaus 2]

I ASSUMED fellow musicians could tell.

My friend and bandmate, please refer to the 'everybody now' thread for the universal assumption theory.

[Daj Werkenhorse 1]

I ASSUMED fellow musicians could tell.

My friend and bandmate, please refer to the 'everybody now' thread for the universal assumption theory.

That is to what I was refering.

I'm "with it".

[EightLeggedOedipus]

Abecedarian
+++ The triumphant return of talent +++
--- with a quiet slow snoozer ---

Add
+++ Nice intro. With awesoem chorus +++
/// Might be a clean-tone rip-off of Franz Ferdinand or somebody ///
+++ I dig the rhythm of that solo with the harmonics and mutes in it +++
/// At 2:10 we get a fruity line or so that sounds like Gordon Gano almost becoming Fred Schneider. ///

Calfborg
--- This is bizarre emo. What are you whining about, anyway? ---

CC and the Creeps
/// Who knew my tech support guy sings lounge? ///
+++ A fun song with a slow start +++
--- I kind of hear what you're talking about, but there's a whole lot of acronyms going on. Oh, and there's also talkover that adds NOTHING ---

Daj Werkenhorse
+++ Wow, this is actually a song +++
/// Then Fred Schneider comes back to sing a punk song about an archaic video game system ///

Hello to Ruin
--- Too idiotic girls whining over crap guitar. ---

The Hell Yeahs
+++ This is a pretty damn cool song. Punk metal +++
--- I just don't think Heather's voice is right for this. Almost soudns Courtney Love----

The John Benjamin Band
+++ The JBB's bring the hyper-pop. yes. +++
--- I would have left out everything before 0:25. I don't like most vocoder. ---
+++ Picks back up with the key solo at 1:54 +++

The K Twins
--- Cheesy beat. Cheesy goth vocals with phaser ---

Motor Monkeys
+++ Nice drums kicking in +++
--- Everything else seems blah ---
+++ Until the chorus comes in, where everything seems to fit +++

Ricky Shallow and the Blown Loads
--- At-least-you-had-fun-making-it award ---

Ross Durand
--- Middle school lyrics. Did you say "tooken"? ---
+++ Rockin' chorus I IV V +++

Sell Crazy
+++ I like the little stops in the rhythm +++
--- Singing sounds like what Peter Stahl might have sung in middle school ---

Steve Durand
--- Just not feeling this. Needs Hemorrhoy Rogers and the Rrhoid Boyz to spice it up ---

It's between Add and the JBB. We'll see.

[Heather. Redmon.]

The Hell Yeahs
+++ This is a pretty damn cool song. Punk metal +++
--- I just don't think Heather's voice is right for this. Almost soudns Courtney Love----

you hurt me....

[Kamakura]

The K Twins
--- Cheesy beat. Cheesy goth vocals with phaser ---

This crit is rather like those weird distortion mirrors at the carny. I'm not sure if I like being tall and thin, or indeed fat and squat... Hmm.

[EightLeggedOedipus]

The Hell Yeahs
+++ This is a pretty damn cool song. Punk metal +++
--- I just don't think Heather's voice is right for this. Almost soudns Courtney Love----

you hurt me....

I am sorry, as I know it sounds like more of an insult than it actually is. You have a great voice on other tracks I've heard. Here it just sounds... out of place. Courtney Love's voice is <b>always </b>way out of place (and out of tune).

[HeuristicsInc]

It's between Add and the JBB. We'll see.

That rhymes so well. Wasn't that rhyme in a song at some point? I remember liking it.
-bill

[j$]

Here it just sounds... out of place. Courtney Love's voice is <b>always </b>way out of place (and out of tune).

I disagree on more than one level. 'Rock Star' by Hole. Heather's voice could be sat atop a LEF remix and still give this ol' pouf a virtual hard-on. What makes this HY's song so special is the contrast. It's genius, and for once, time will prove me right.

I'm not selling it so well, am I? No job as HY's PR officer for me, then Well, I voted for it....

j$

[j$]

It's between Add and the JBB. We'll see.

That rhymes so well. Wasn't that rhyme in a song at some point? I remember liking it.
-bill

Pro ADD or JBB?
I'm not quite sure which it will be -
But I'll decide, and then we'll see
If SF votes agree with me....

[Heather. Redmon.]

Here it just sounds... out of place. Courtney Love's voice is <b>always </b>way out of place (and out of tune).

I disagree on more than one level. 'Rock Star' by Hole. Heather's voice could be sat atop a LEF remix and still give this ol' pouf a virtual hard-on. What makes this HY's song so special is the contrast. It's genius, and for once, time will prove me right.

I'm not selling it so well, am I? No job as HY's PR officer for me, then Well, I voted for it....

j$

I say you've got the job!

[mico saudad]

That rhymes so well. Wasn't that rhyme in a song at some point? I remember liking it.
-bill

Or maybe you're think of TMBG's XTC versus Adam Ant. Only one will survive.

[HeuristicsInc]

I have the idea it was somebody's song complaining about the reviews or some such, but it was, you know, good.
-bill

[Kapitano]

The K Twins – The beginning sounds like Phil Collins, with a David Bowie middle. It was pretty interesting but a little amorphous for my tastes.

There was a version with a Human League type of backing - much less amorphous but more like Steve Durand's submission.

Phil Collins? You wound me to the quick. And my quick will never be the same. I can live with David Bowie's middle. So to speak.

- and the 80's keep on coming!
- i'm getting an inxs/david bowie vibe, but the chorus is very pink floyd
- very cool

Note for future reference: Any music with synths is called '80s'. This is because in the 1980s there were no guitars, and synthsisers weren't used before or since. Except in '80s' type music.

The vocals and chords were all Kam's work, so the Bowie-in-XS-Pink is all down to him.

Ooh, panned kick thingy. Ah, but the vocals are panned too so now they're covering up the kick and stuff. Something needs to be in the middle here, I'm having trouble making out the vocals. Did you A/B this in mono? I didn't for mine either, but I think here if you did it would be obvious that all the panning is undermining your mix a little. When the synth comes in it gets all Pink Floydy. Also reminds me of Roymond. Roymondy. Very short. I expected something to come back around. It reminds me of a transitional piece from a rock opera, maybe by Styx.

A/B in mono? If you're asking whether I took a mono vocal, put it 50% left, then 50% right with 12ms delay...I did. Oh I see what you're asking now. No, it never even occured to me to make a mono mixdown - should have done.

Too much panning. You're right - almost everything has slapback delay of some kind. I should probably have:
* left slapback on the kick, kept the hat and snare centre, and the other drums panned without delay.
* used less extreme panning on the vocals for the verses, then widened it right out for the choruses.
* left the bass centered.

I barely know any Styx, but I have been listening to 'Wish You Were Here'.

I can sure think of some worse things on earth than a dance party and the US stock exchange dropping. – The song seems to not go far enough to me. The words/tune work OK, but I think the subjects of the verses are poor and there’s a structural issue of not arriving at a destination lyrically or musically.

You mean...it's not how you would have done it.

I'm a sucker for industrial music. Ooh, then you hit the Bowie-esque vocal part and it's REALLY good. I'm way into this. And the way the last chord is so full of doom makes this really really stick.

Hey, thanks! It's nice to get appreciative reviews, even if there isn't much you can say in response to them.

Harmony vocal is off, which is only mildly irritating. It's not enough to take down the coolness of "Everytime I come back to Earth" - a really nice melody. The arrangement isn't my kind of thing at all, so that kept me from totally getting into it

I actually came up with five very different arrangements, before finding one I liked. You might have liked the one with lots of reverby harps and guitars, or the one with synthstrings and no drums.

My harmony on the choruses is indeed slightly flat. Partly because I'm not used to singing in multple modes. Kam uses chords I would never think of - that's because I know music theory and he just plays what sounds good. Hmm.

The K Twins: Drink 1/2 a bottle of whiskey [...] This song is okay.

There are complements, there are insults, and then there are Puzzling reviews.

--- Cheesy beat. Cheesy goth vocals with phaser ---

Remove the namecalling, and we're left with 'phaser'. There isn't one.

[erik]

The K Twins: Drink 1/2 a bottle of whiskey, sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" tonight at the top of your lungs at the local karaoke bar 3 times, go to bed, wake up early, re-record the vocals

I did not like the vocals. They sounded too clean and unexpressive. The things listed would roughen up the sound of the singer's voice

remix the song with the keys and vox mixed way lower and the whole thing about 1/2 as fast

I found the song to be too fast, and mixed badly.

drive your Delorean at 88 miles per hour, find a cute new wave girl from 1989 who knows me, and convince her to put this a mix tape that she's making for me. If you did all that I would probably like this song right now. It sounds vaguely like one of those songs that you find on a tape in your mom's attic, and when you play it for someone, they either freak out and tell you a story about how they kissed someone else's boyfriend at their junior prom, or they look at you like "why are you playing me this song?" This song is okay.

People have some sort of unexplainable attraction to songs that they liked when they were in junior high or high school. It's like you grom onto the way that you felt when you were first exposed to the song. This song has many things in common with songs that were around when I was in high school, and had it actually come out then and I had strong memories associated with it, I might like it here some 15 years later. Hearing it present day for the first time, taking it merely as a song, I have nothing to associate it with and therefore merely find it "okay".

[Kamakura]

The K Twins: Drink 1/2 a bottle of whiskey, sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" tonight at the top of your lungs at the local karaoke bar 3 times, go to bed, wake up early, re-record the vocals

I did not like the vocals. They sounded too clean and unexpressive. The things listed would roughen up the sound of the singer's voice

That's entirely my fault. I'll punt for Jack Daniels and 'Smoke on the Water' and try to do better next time.

remix the song with the keys and vox mixed way lower and the whole thing about 1/2 as fast

I found the song to be too fast, and mixed badly.

Sorry but I've got to disagree. Any slower and it would plod, and as to the mixing I think Kapitano did a great job... but then I know what he had to work with.

drive your Delorean at 88 miles per hour, find a cute new wave girl from 1989 who knows me, and convince her to put this a mix tape that she's making for me. If you did all that I would probably like this song right now. It sounds vaguely like one of those songs that you find on a tape in your mom's attic, and when you play it for someone, they either freak out and tell you a story about how they kissed someone else's boyfriend at their junior prom, or they look at you like "why are you playing me this song?" This song is okay.

People have some sort of unexplainable attraction to songs that they liked when they were in junior high or high school. It's like you grom onto the way that you felt when you were first exposed to the song. This song has many things in common with songs that were around when I was in high school, and had it actually come out then and I had strong memories associated with it, I might like it here some 15 years later. Hearing it present day for the first time, taking it merely as a song, I have nothing to associate it with and therefore merely find it "okay".

Absolutely right. This is the true emotional joy and sorrow of music.

[erik]

Sorry but I've got to disagree. Any slower and it would plod, and as to the mixing I think Kapitano did a great job... but then I know what he had to work with.

Don't gotta be sorry, I'm not trying to convince you of anything, just to tell you my own personal opinion of it.

[Kamakura]

Sorry but I've got to disagree. Any slower and it would plod, and as to the mixing I think Kapitano did a great job... but then I know what he had to work with.

Don't gotta be sorry, I'm not trying to convince you of anything, just to tell you my own personal opinion of it.

erm... Some sage (Churchill?) once said the English and the Americans are two peoples divided by a common language.
When I say sorry, I don't actually mean I'm sorry (unless I do). I'm just being politely English.
I do value your opinion. Though in this case, as I'm sure you'll agree in fifteen years, you're wrong.

[Stevie Windsor]

Steve Durand Despite being a little too long, having a plasticy 80s feel, souless drums, and the vocals too far back in the mix, this aint bad at all. Excellent guitar solo.

Calfborg One of those that, when you hear the first 30 seconds and quickly look at Media Player hoping it'll be over in a minute and find out, oh no its 4 minutes long! A lot of that feeling is due to the really gloomy low fi production and the ridiculously pained vocal. In a parallel universe this could be the Velvet Underground.

Hello To Ruin I turned it up to better hear it and I think you've scared off the postman who was delivering the usual junk mail. Good job!

Ricky Shallow and the Blown Loads Aggh. Looking over to Media Player again - 3.49 ! and now the woman collecting for Oxfam has also been scared off. The ending reminded me of Mahler's Songs from the Sea.

Abecedarian This isn't going to deter any tradesman. Well done and immacuately performed but too quiet and uneventful for my genre tastes.

Add On first listen the second half is so much better then the "tear it up" rapping first half, but second time round it all sounds much better. Guitar solo lets it down a bit, but otherwise yeah.

Motor Monkeys (us) We rushed through the vocals and I think it shows. Its not about the TV as was commented on in an earlier review, but very loosely based on the BBC documentary The Power of Nightmares.

K Twins Depeche Mode in their slowest and darkest mood. Passed me by without much to grab on to apart from the big piano chords and the slightly more upbeat chorus.

Ross Durand This is more my thing, basic arrangement but does its job effectively. Great guitar tone. Loved the bridge build up to the chorus. I would have had a more abrupt and definitive end

Daj Warkenhorse Kids eh! Whats the relation between Neo Geo and Systematic Panic?

CC and The Creeps Well arranged and performed lounge jazz, although rather ruined by its contrived jokey lyrical theme. Really didnt like the too loud distracting wierd sounds, especially towards the end.

Sell Crazy Very reminiscent of an early 80s band I can't remember the name of. Catchy and with a good live feel to it.

John Benjamin Band More 80s synth rock. Couldn't really hear the backing vocals at the start. It picks up at the rocking middle section and then is great all the way through to the end, so much so I could forgive the vocoder vox.

Hell Yeahs Rifftastic. Mix could be sharper with the synth brought out a bit, but this has more sheer energy and grit then any other song in the competition. Love the vocals. Good one to end on.

================================

One of the best fights I've been involved with. Great work everyone.

1. Add
2. Hell Yeahs
3. John Benjamin Band
4. Ross Durand
5. Sell Crazy
6. Steve Durand

[Dan Wrekenhaus 2]

Daj Warkenhorse Kids eh! Whats the relation between Neo Geo and Systematic Panic?

We used the Rorschach method.