The Song Fight Bulletin Board

EightLeggedOedipus wrote:carpetburn: Skip

Reviewer: too much of a cunt for me. get fucked

Feeling good because I finally made some song happen for “King Me” so I’m gonna write some brief reviews based on listening in the car.


Billy's Little Trip – I like so much about this. Just the chorus holds it back from being great for me. It’s like you chose some chords that sound cool and shouted a pitched vocal that’s cool , but they don’t quite fit together (including the harmonies. If the chords fit the vocals or vice-versa, this song would be rock solid. Increased appreciation knowing the back story. Top notch

Carpetburn – so much to like, but too long for this arrangement and structurally unfocused from my point of view, partly because of what seems like some unnecessary repetition of some lyric content. I do the guitar part with the Alex Lifeson bit, or is it Andy Summers? Somewhere in-between perhaps. Third notch perhaps, out of 10 notches

c hack - tuneful, nice guitar bopping along, I like how you “add” a beat to get the pick up to the verse in. However, lyrically I don’t get it. Notch 4 I think.

cranial bifida – boring, hard to get through. You seem to have an epic in mind, but I can’t make out the words. I like the typani break. Low on the notches.


cynthia size and the @eclectic spoons – I feel like I’m hearing the first “real” sp00n song. The backing tracks are great. I wish the enunciation was coming through better on the “vocals” and the tune and words don’t seem to relate at all. Probably one notch below carpetburn.

Double Helix Bros. – hard to get through. Are you trying to put in a bunch of blue notes that aren’t there? I would say it’s worth trading vocal affectations for pitch, if that’s the choice. I also found the lyrics sort of uninteresting. To me it was a comedy piece that didn’t make me laugh. Low notch, but one up (at least) from the bifida. Oh, and it’s frustrating that nothing seems to line up on the beats.

Eddie Lance – very pretty, expressive playing, I think I’d like to hear more variation in the voicing or ornamentation the last time around. Sadness matches the title pretty well, but I think I’m in the “not a song” camp when it comes to the bottom line. Even so, I still let the whole thing play J

HipWreckd – Well, it ain’t “A Day in the Life.” While you may get some connection between the two songs, I don’t really. I think I like Geoff’s part better, very effective texture, nice voice delivery for the story. Sorry mr. Cola. The whole package doesn’t hold together for me, though.

Hostess Mostess – I’d like to hear MC Eric B cover this. All I mean by that is that I’m a sucker for your voice, singing, and production, and I wonder how much song I’d hear in lesser hands (no offense intended Eric, seriously – calling how I hear it). VERY listenable, nice song, good form (love the middle eight) I agree that on the end of the last verse the ay-ay gets accentuated by the repeats but easy to overlook. Top notch.

Jolly Roger – perhaps this is a “not my thing” situation, but this one continually went in one ear and out the other. The metal break doesn’t add to the song for me. Everything here is ok, I guess, but just ok. Probably at notch 4 or 5.

Klownhole – great for you guys to do. Right people to do it. Not a good song, but I’m glad you did it. Klaatu made my day – why the hell did the Carpenters cover THAT song of all things?

Lyricburgler – Cool – the words come out much better than in the original of course, but the terseness of them rubs me just a little. Your delivery and arrangement are good, though Pretty darn good, but not quite Top notch.

MC Eric B – I was interested by the beginning of this, since it’s a bigger stretch and there are things I like – you write some pretty good lines, but there’s no glue here. If you’re going to write a song with no chorus, you still need something (Like a repeated phrase at the end of stanzas, a la folk ballad) that recurs in order to hold the song together thematically. I bet you’ll here what I mean if anyone covers this. Also, you need to use some musical breaks to telegraph structure to the listener when there is not a chorus. Your arrangement and lyrical method do not provide this.

mico saudad – biased after singing this with you. I like this, but my initial reaction was that it was too short. I feel like it need more in its structure, like a bridge and recap, or something. Still very enjoyable. Probably notch 2.

No Ghost – I start out liking this. I like the color and the lyrical/structural approach. The banjo bit feels gimmicky to me given the rest of the song. Notch 3 I think.

Pipefist – the lyrics on this just seemed really insipid to me. It was hard for me to get past that part. The tune was fine, but the lyrics just pulled it under. 4th notch.

Queen Anthony's Lace - I like the song concept - a color a day. But the stuff you chose for each day didn’t seem all that great to me. I wish you had gone a different way there. This might have been one of my favorites. Notch 4 as well

Signboy – Ok song, but the lyrics felt sort of forced. Good structure and hook, though. Notch 3 or so

Spinlock – excellent – I almost went for pollution, too. This is better than what I would have written. Top Notch. Words and music well integrated.

Spinning Merkaba - good song. I would have liked some punches in the arrangement, particularly when your voice goes up on the “Gates are closed” stuff. Nice song – the idiom works here. A more “complete” arrangement would help it a lot. Too static. Notch 2.

Steakhaus – not sure what to make of it exactly, it’s loud – you do it good, I suppose. Not my thing?????

Thanks Glenny for the Frisbee – nice – one of my favorite Frisbee brand products so far. Lyrics are tight and flow well. Also well suited to the style of the song. Top or so

Favorites Billy, Hostess, Mico, Spinlock and TGFTF scrapes in. And of Course I have a soft spot for the one by Syd and Me.

EightLeggedOedipus wrote:lyric burgler:...I am convinced you need your ears cleaned.

That is quite uncanny. I happen to know for a fact, that the Lyricburglar occaisionally suffers from the annoying, though not particularly serious condition of being an over-producer of cerumen. From time to time he does suffer ear-wax build up which can cause temporary partial deafness! Unfortunately, he probably cannot blame any perceived untunefulness on this condition in this case, because he was not suffering from it last week. I suspect he was just drunk.

He says he will try to do reviews later tonight.

(oh..and Carpetburn.. great to see some mongrel back on the boards! - that cracked me up - and BTW - great song, you get my vote)

Awww gee! Lyric Burgler is Caravan Ray!!!! (or am I just behind the times?!?)

Dude you are awsome, a true star and (purportedly) a great performer!! look forward to hearing you on TuneFlow!

Thanks for all the great and cutting comments as always, extra thanks to Ross and Noah!

Go Carpetburn you got my vote (after much deliberation between you and the Frisbees) for buckets full of indie goodness, and I love the fact that you came out fighting... see above somewhere! (what else is an Englishman 'sposed to do when the governments crap and the football teams crap and the crickets crap etc...)

Anyway I really enjoyed this fight, and listened to (almost) all the songs all week, great job guys... this is my last post for nearly a month as I'm off on holidays (hooray!)

Carpetburn wrote:

EightLeggedOedipus wrote:carpetburn: Singing too indie for me. AKA amateur, lacks melody, poor intonation. Skip

Reviewer: too much of a cunt for me. get fucked

There's no need to curse, cockface.

Carpetburn wrote: Reviewer: [...]

Reviews are like candies in a dish at your grandma's house. Take them or don't. Ingest them or don't. Express appreciation if you like. So nice she put them out.

Yes, sometimes they are rancid. But complaining about them makes you kind of a...um...what's that word?

Perpendicular.

Mostess wrote:

Carpetburn wrote: Reviewer: [...]

Reviews are like candies in a dish at your grandma's house. Take them or don't. Ingest them or don't. Express appreciation if you like. So nice she put them out.

Yes, sometimes they are rancid. But complaining about them makes you kind of a...um...what's that word?

...a total c-word. Pick the word.

Mostess wrote:

Carpetburn wrote: Reviewer: [...]

Reviews are like candies in a dish at your grandma's house. Take them or don't.

No complaint, just a frank sharing of opinions. Reviews generally involve listening to the whole thing before you form an opinion. I got the impression whatsisface had already made up his mind before it had begun, and for that he can go perpendicular. If they've got anything to say they can PM me to get that in , though I'm not sure if they'll make it to the end of the sentence.

Apologies to other board-users I may have offended by our colourful colloquy.

spOOn wrote:(what else is an Englishman 'sposed to do when the governments crap and the football teams crap and the crickets crap etc...)

You forgot to mention the food, the weather and the dental hygiene

Caravan Ray wrote:...dental hygiene

A common misconception. Gordy and Tony have got to have something worth lying through.

Wow ... one good review. I've got to stop sucking. Time to practice.

spOOn wrote:Awww gee! Lyric Burgler is Caravan Ray!!!! (or am I just behind the times?!?)

yeah, i thought it sounded like him...
-bill

rdurand wrote: MC Eric B – ....Also, you need to use some musical breaks to telegraph structure to the listener when there is not a chorus. Your arrangement and lyrical method do not provide this.

So I listened again today and I guess you do sort of have a chorus, but the fact I didn't remember that you did ought to tell you something. I guess it feels a lot more like you're repeating one of hte verses, because there is not enough distinguishing your choruse from your verse. BTW, in your chorus, your vocal line implies a harmonic shift that your keyboard doesn't do (same thing happene on your last song, but I played it exactly how you did instead of chanig that). PM me if you don't know what I mean.

blt - i like the bass a lot. this is a great sound, actually, the vox are excellent. i do detect some floydishness, but harderockish.

carpet - there's no proof. i love the 1:30 damped riff. this song seems to suffer from the same thing i hear in all your songs, rather, that i don't hear - low end. you need more bass! or at least some bass. this is good, though.

chack - nice to see you back. like the mind, mind. or time, time. definitely enjoyable. i think this would be fun live with a full band.

cranial - too long, i think. very long songs don't work well in the songfight format. that said, the sounds are pretty cool. however it is getting samey around ... uhhh 5 minutes in. change things up, especially the vox. the girl vox is a nice addition, but too late.

cses - nice bassline but maybe vary it a bit in velocity? bah! not too fond of the lyrics. pretty cool anyway. ever do actual vocals? how did it sound?

dhb - this is wages's song with additional sounds from me. i think we really should have redone the verse vocals and such. i think that would have helped a lot. one of the possible problems is that i added the extra rhythms and synths after the guitar and vox were done, i think. my favorite part is my weird synthy solo at the end actually that whole outro section incl. the last vox.

eddie - you know why people don't like instrumentals? because it's hard to tell if it was written for the fight. this is pretty good, but it's hard to tell if it's relevant. nice.

hipwr - heh name. nice intro! i like these sounds! what? that was a strange transition. i am not big on the geeky spoken word vocal. i can't tell if this is serious or trying to make fun, and that's not good here. good ending, though.

jr - that's a very thin sound. feed it! where's the body? vocal's a little sloppy too. i've heard you do better songs. the vocal melodies are pretty repetitive... it's ok.

hostess - i think the chorus is too repetitive. this is a good sound, though. you do have a nice vocal though.

lb - guess i shouldn't pick on the lyrics again the drums might want to change a little more in the beginning of the song. nice vocal sound. hey, i like those hand drums. hey, i really like it when this gets going. nice backing beep beep vox.

kh - hmm, self referential... ran out of ideas this week? this is very silly. bono haha. on a musical level, i'd say too repetitive, and too pleased with its own cleverness.

mceb - yeah that's a casio preset all right. good for trying new things. i like this better than the nerdcore. i guess this is just a demo recording, so i should pick on the lack of changes in the music. lyrics, pretty good, yes.

mico - i like the layered vocal approach on this. although it makes it hard to follow the thread. rain or shine, very nice.

noghost - this is an interesting noisy approach. i like that background thing. this is oddly compelling, but i think the banjo interludes are a little jarring. oh, blue, that was unexpected.

qal - some of the rhymes are a little too obvious. i also think you're singing higher than you should. the bass drum thingy sounds good. uhh hmm. this is ok. i would like to hear more from you, though.

pipefist - i'm not enjoying the vocal tone that much, sorry. the music is pretty good. ah, i'm getting tired, i apologize. the piano thing at the end is cool but it ends too abruptly, i want that to happen some more.

signboy - nice guitar. i'm not sure what it is about this title that makes people want to sing it over and over again in the chorus without rhyming it with anything. i am definitely geting sick of that.

spinlock - i think this is one of the better title interpretations this week. just for that, a favorite, and a nice song too. watch the clip at the end.

steakhaus - i like this. the title interpretation on this is also great. not that i would have gotten that from listening - the vocals are probably too much effected. this isn't the best song i've heard from this collaboration, but i still like it a lot. "scurrilous dog!" in a lyric gets points.

spinning - this is pretty cool, kinda love & rockets. i like the sounds, and the vocals are catchy and good sounding. the bassy thing is especially fun. actually a little repetitive at the end.

syd - so how old is syd, anyway? this is fun. especially nice trumpet solo. good stuff.

thank - nice folky sound. that "becoming crystal" isn't working for me. pretty good.

favorites: blt, dhb, noghost, spinlock, steakhaus, spinning, syd
-bill

HeuristicsInc wrote:noghost - this is an interesting noisy approach. i like that background thing. this is oddly compelling, but i think the banjo interludes are a little jarring. oh, blue, that was unexpected.

Carpetburn wrote:

EightLeggedOedipus wrote:carpetburn: Singing too indie for me. AKA amateur, lacks melody, poor intonation. Skip

Reviewer: too much of a cunt for me. get fucked

Note to self: me no reviewie carpetburn if me no likey carpetburn.

MintyHandy wrote:

Carpetburn wrote:

EightLeggedOedipus wrote:carpetburn: Singing too indie for me. AKA amateur, lacks melody, poor intonation. Skip

Reviewer: too much of a c--t for me. get fu--ed

Note to self: me no reviewie carpetburn if me no likey carpetburn.

note to self: rememberie not to make a note to myselfie on a public website

OK, a couple thoughts about how this week is going...

Queen Anthony's Lace - my other nickname was RoyGBiv, so this is sort of creepy. But also cute and heart warming in a late-to-the-wake sort of way. I really am flattered by the amazing instrumentation and arrangement. The backing vocals rule, too. I love the low-fi essence. I actually love this by the end. Repeat.

c hack - you have to know there's a lot of competition right out of the gate here, but you have the usual winning lines here, and your sincere sarcasm shines like Dorothy on a black and white tv.

Hostess - genre bias rears its ugly head, though met with typical production and performance creed. I like the break, even the off vocals. The clustered backing vocals come to the rescue. More of that treatment, please.

Klownhole - I see you are addressing some of the criticisms I offered last time. masturbating Eskimos? brrrr. success. Dan o should be proud.

Spinning Merkaba - I love that rhythmic guitar slashing in the background, and grateful its mixed low. great vocals and the pulsating generator of madness is groovy. I'd like more noise interrupts and transients.


Queen Anthony's Lace is sweet. I'm sold.

So I felt the sudden and inexplicable need to explain the shitty lyrics in my entry this week. And by explain I mean provide an excuse. Originally, the song was about a gay breakup, but I wound up liking the song too much to keep it as a joke song, and changed the lyrics at the last minute. I probably should've left it as a song about a gay breakup.

HeuristicsInc wrote:so how old is syd, anyway? this is fun. especially nice trumpet solo. good stuff.

thanks. Syd is 6 and a half. I'm excited because she helped write. I asked her if she wanted to and she said yeah. About two hours later, I said, "we should talk about the song." she says, "I've got some words," and dictates to me the first four lines. So I set that to music and added a little. I said, "What happens next?" She says, "It's so cold because the sun isn't making colors anymore."
That's pretty much the story - she had a great time recording, too.
The trumpet is Uncle Steve (Durand).

HeuristicsInc wrote:eddie - you know why people don't like instrumentals? because it's hard to tell if it was written for the fight. this is pretty good, but it's hard to tell if it's relevant. nice.
-bill

I guess I understand but I'm not going to stop. This site has given me great motivation and forces me to keep writing. I tried putting in the effects to make the song connect to the title better but nobody cared for that. Now people are saying instrumentals aren't even songs. Whatever it's all good I don't care.