The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Adele in the Car
by Jerkatorium

You say my singing
makes the dogs throughout the neighborhood start to bark
you think that’s such a snarky remark

You say my singing
makes the cats throughout the county start to yowl
with every single growly vowel

But when I have my headphones on
I’m the next Celine Dion
after just a couple beers
My voice is butter to my ears, and

When I’m in the shower
My voice regains its power
A couple drinks at the karaoke bar
I’m Madonna in my head, or Adele in the car.

When I’m all alone
My voice can find its tone
I’m American Idol, I’m a big big star
I’m Aretha in my head, I’m Adele in the car.

You say my singing
makes the short hairs on your neck stand up on end
You’re such a helpful, candid friend
You say my singing
makes you want to stab your head till you can’t hear
Like Oedipus, but in the ears

But when I have my headphones on
I sound just like Elton John
after just a couple beers
My voice is music to my ears, and

When I’m in the shower
My voice regains its power
A couple drinks at the karaoke bar
I’m Shakira in my head, or Adele in the car.

When I’m all alone
My voice can find its tone
I’m American Idol, I’m a big big star
I’m Mariah in my head, I’m Adele in the car.

When I’m home with you
I can tell my voice sounds pretty shoddy
But when I’m in my car
I can belt it out like Pavarotti

When I’m in the shower
My voice regains its power
A couple drinks at the karaoke bar
I’m Rihanna in my head, or Adele in the car.

When I’m all alone
My voice can find its tone
I’m American Idol, I’m a big big star
Lady Gaga in my head, I’m Adele in the car.

When I’m in the shower
My voice regains its power
A couple drinks at the karaoke bar
I’m Elvis in my head, or Adele in the car.

When I’m all alone
My voice can find its tone
I’m American Idol, I’m a big big star
I’m Lou Reed in my head, I’m Adele in the car.

ADELE IN THE CAR
Micah Sommersmith

I feel like I was born a generation or two late
When I listen to the music that they're playing nowadays
I wish the world remembered all the songs of the greats
Instead of this pre-packaged pop display

'Cause all I hear is Bieber at the gym,
Ed Sheeran in the bar,
Taylor Swift on my alarm clock,
And Adele in the car.

But I know in 2058, when I'm seventy years old,
And my grandkids have their cybernetic radios installed,
And they say, "Pops, check out the latest swish-trap fifth-wave twelve-tone crud!
It's the poodle-boppest thing since yodel whip!"

I'll say, "In my day it was Bieber at the gym,
Ed Sheeran in the bar,
Taylor Swift on my alarm clock,
And Adele in the car."

Adele In The Car - Paco del Stinko

I came to with Adele in the car
Unusual smells and a fluttering heart
Parked by the river sepia...grey
Cold, damp, and shivering from watery spray

I nudged her and said hey, wake on up
But I had misjudged her and promptly gave up
For she'll sleep eternal I quickly found
Easy discerning from the blood all around

The last I remembered I had gone to the show
Now she was dismembered and left me alone
Oh my god, just what had I done
I thought I'd explode and that I'd better run

I knew right away what I had to do
Last night's now today and I'd better get to it
I reached over the seat and put the car into neutral
Moved her cold feet and her face once so beautiful

Out into the gunk and a quick look both ways
I put my weight on the trunk and pushed without grace
A lurch and a roll then both car and Adele
Went down over the knoll and disappeared in the swell

Back at my place in a long steamy shower
I felt no disgrace from the last eighteen hours
How sad some must feel with their idol now gone
But I'm glad that I'm steel and I can do no wrong

The silence is making me nauseous
I must be losin' my cool
So I flip on the radio
Now I'm listenin' to tool
I don't know how I got into this mess
I'm being led by the mule

Chorus:

Cruisin' the freeways
Loaded gun on my lap
The situation is out of control
'Cause in the trunk of my beat up car
Is the body of a famous pop star

You see I never liked bubble gum
I find it too hard to chew
Baby I prefer harder stuff
Something a little askew
But now I've gone way too far
Proving my point of view

(Chorus)
(Instrumental Bridge)

They'll lock me up like a monkey
When they see what I done
Oh the people will cry and wail
They'll say I took all their fun
Now the only way out of this mess
Is driving straight to the sun

Hello, it's me
I was wondering after all these years
If you'd like to meet
Just drive around

Loving the bob, the mum bob
It's a triumph
You're looking healthy
Can't help but notice the tea
Spilling down your chin
Do you have a drinking problem?
May I turn on the radio?

Adele in the car
We're having fun
Singing our favorite songs
At the top of our lungs
Adele in the car
She's smiling and laughing
And seems so much happier in person
Than in her videos

That's been my dream
Such a shame it's raining once again
So just chug your tea
Adjust your belt

Loving the pranks on "Ellen"
You're so funny
Those Jamba workers
You seemed eccentric and mad
Pulling scissors out
Then you cut the grass and ate it
Let's sing along to the radio

CH

Living someone else's life on YouTube
My wife would kill me
If I rode around with some British blonde
No where to go
So I'm driving slowly
Singing to the stoplights and pretending

Adele In The Car (Macaque Attack)

Verse
It's getting late,
I need a break,
I think I'm going to miss my date,
But there's a hitcher,
Who I cannot leave to fate

I ask her in,
She tries to grin,
But she's not happy,
That is obvious,
And I see why,
She's had a real rough night

I see a star,
Got in my car,

She had a show,
It didn't go,
Quite how she thought,
That it would go,
With clangs & clunks,
And sounds of junk,
Now tears flow

And so we're making an escape,
She says she needs to get away,
A diva with a yearning,
Wants to feel OK

Broke her heart,
Tore her apart

Chorus
Sitting with Adele in the car,
I hope she's not going far,
She smells of fish and chips,
It's making me feel peckish,

She's messing with my radio,
It's starting to blare out Hello,
I hope she doesn't start to sing,
I'll press eject and then,

And watch Adele fly,
Watch Adele fly

Verse
She will not tell me where to go,
She just says "drive on driver",
Woe is me,
I can't believe,
My luck could be so low

I've got a place to be,
A million dollars waits for me,
And here I am stuck with a drag,
Who's starting to displease

She's moaning on,
Oh please be gone