The Song Fight Bulletin Board

My Sister by Monorail "Loveboat" Racetrack

I'm a scam, I'm a charlatan,
I do so like to teach, but I can't live with what I preach,
but I can, so I can, there's no objection
I just live to push the buttons on some lardy hunk of mutton
a little mean, keep it clean, there's not need for that
I can't stop, it's what I do, you don't like me I don't know you
standards high, i live by, you must adhere,
i'll do the same if there's a gain, or some fun, some fun and games

cracking wise, to wise to crack,
you idiotic pissant creature broken horseshit cheap burritto
waste of life, hello mcfly, don't try to try,
oh yoda said it better but you're not a phantom menace.
dragon fist, iron palm, a thousand kicking styles,
your technique could not defeat a one armed monk who had no chi
oh not with her, not with him, it's not happening
some things were meant to be, and others just meant to dream

my god are you talking to me
I'm tryin'a talk to your sister,
hey man, can I have room to breathe?!
and get it on with your sister
why don't you fucking die?
so I can screw your sister?
yo shithead, you staring at me?
hey buddy stay away from my sister

I'm a scam, I'm a charlatan,
I do so like to teach, but I can't live with what I preach,
but I can, so I can, there's no objection
I just live to push the buttons on some lardy hunk of mutton
a little mean, keep it clean, there's not need for that
I can't stop, it's what I do, you don't like me I don't know you
standards high, i live by, you must adhere,
i'll do the same if there's a gain, or some fun, some fun and games

my god are you stil talking to me
I'm tryin'a talk to your sister
hey man, can I have room to breathe
and get it on with your sister
why don't you fucking die
so I can screw your sister
yo shithead, you staring at me
hey buddy stay away from my sister

"My Sister" by Duboce Triangle vs. The JBB

you can throw the turkey bone away my sister
leave it for the neighbor dog to choke upon
you can stand with crossed arms at the bus stop little girl
you just need a bindlestick, you're perfect then you're gone

Look at the tragedy you've won
Mining sorrow by the ton
Lost your way, the road you've traveled
Leaves no room to turn around
My dear sister we all know...
You're never coming home.

next year it's greyhound dinner, sister
three musketeers in lieu of rhubarb pie
you can reminisce on every round of "fuck you daddy"
on every single "I'll be glad for momma when you die"
your favorite game: let's see who waits till last to cry

Look at the tragedy you've won
Mining sorrow by the ton
Lost your way, the road you've traveled
Leaves no room to turn around
My dear sister we all know...
You're never coming home.

My Sister - sparks

my sister's got an office job
in a tiny room with tiny walls
Ayn Rand books, Forbes magazine
and you know I'm so damned lazy

you know I tried to read one once
but like Jerkcity says Atlas Sucked
they say I gotta get a haircut and get a job
be a little more like my sister Barb

my sister
my sister
my sister's gone republican
my sister
my sister
my sister's gone republican

my sister's got authority
in her beamer with her own philosophy
about why the welfare moms and the deadbeat hicks
should be just like her gettin' yuppie kicks

and if you steal or do drugs you should get the chair
cause you're better off dead, and it's only fair
you gotta work your way through the whole damn racket
though it's easier from the upper income bracket

my sister
my sister
my sister's pure and free of sin
my sister
my sister
my sister's gone republican

(solo that sounds like something from the Contra games)

don't know how it happened
don't look at me
don't know how she stumbled upon
this work ethic and christianity

I gotta respect her opinions
I can't let it freak me out
but I can't help but know that it's people like her
who put the dumb fucks back in the white house

my sister
my sister
my sister's pure and free of sin
my sister
my sister
my sister's gone republican

MY SISTER, by the JBB
---------------------

I know what you want
I know the kind of fix you need
I know just why you're shakin'
You don't fool me
I've seen your kind before

Just a little stupid punk, yes you are
Lookin' for an easy mark tonight
No idea what you're in for, buddy
A kitten
In a dragon's lair
A baby bear caught
In a hunter's snare

She's sweet and funny
And she's always wantin' money
She's a cutie with a booty
And she's almost never snooty
But listen to this warnin' my friend,
She'll break your foolish heart in the end.

You think you're so smart
You think you're what she's waiting for
I've seen about a hundred others
With your eyes
Born under the same old star
With your style
And the same old car

She's sweet and funny
And she's always wantin' money
She's a cutie with a booty
And she's almost never snooty
But listen to this warnin' my friend,
She'll break your foolish heart in the end.

I saw her first birthday
She'll see my last
Raised on the same white lies
First one to sign my cast
Part of my past
And every day on from here
So why can't I make myself clear?

She's sweet and funny
And she's always wantin' money
She's a cutie with a booty
And she's almost never snooty
But listen to this warnin' my friend,
She'll break your foolish heart
She'll break your lovin' heart
She'll break your foolish heart
In the end
She'll break your foolish heart in the end.

MOUTH RELIANT - MY SISTER

My Sister
Came in a packing crate from Taiwan.
State of the art.
My Sister
Electric maintenance machine.
Doing her part.

I needed someone to help me with my life.
But I don't want a romance, a girlfriend or a wife

My house is mid-century modern
A spinning white globe in the sky
Every modern convenience
She makes sure things don't go awry.

When we're out in public.
The stares from the passers-by.
They love my robot sister.
Female Servant Robot '85

My Sister
Her functions can be programmed by
Remote control
My Sister
May God in Heaven bless her little
Digital Soul.
She always keeps every room
Sparkling clean
My Sister has a built in vacuum
What a machine!

Maybe I've grown too fond of the things she does for me.
She's just a robot, no personality

But as I grow old and lonely.
I won't bother asking why
I think of her as a sister
She makes me such a lucky guy

Every little thing that she does
She does to satisfy
My house is always spotless
Female Servant Robot '85

My house is the home of tomorrow
A spinning white globe in the sky
Every modern convenience
She makes sure things don't go awry.

When we're out in public.
The stares from the passers-by.
They love my robot sister.
Female Servant Robot '85