The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Dad Joke
Due: Tuesday 12/27/16 9:59am PDT
yourbandname_dj.mp3 sent to fightmaster@songfight.org
subject: Dad Joke
body: (your band name)

Some of us have been making these our whole lives, and not even realizing it...

Deadline posted.

Started mine yesterday.

Sadly, it may be some kind of token chick piece.

Wasn't intentional- it started out like a rap about sittin round the campfire with the blokes telling dad jokes, the passive bong smoke and their false hope... then it turned ugly

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

Judge says, ‘First offender?’

She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’”

Dad: What do you call cheese you don't own?
Kid: I dunno Dad, what?
Dad: Nacho cheese.

ken wrote:A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

Judge says, ‘First offender?’

She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’”

One of us is planning on stealing that joke.

The Bartender said "We don't allow time travelers here."
A few moments later a time traveler appears in the bar.

Best prefight ever.

When Andre 3000 has insomnia, how late does he stay up?

All night all night all night all night all night all night all night all night all night all night all night all night all night all night all night all night!

Mary and Joseph should have stopped by my place, because there's plenty of room at this In!

Dad: What do you call a singer who can't sing?
Kid: Unemployed?
Dad: Lichen Throat!

I'm in. For the first time ever, some (though by no means all) of the heterophony is intentional!

Just mailed in and got my receipt.

Didn't make it in, cos I'm at Australia's biggest folk festival learning about how to perform not produce, and Her Majesty Sleep barged in past my feeble intention to spew forth another last minute a cappella tragedy.
May take a slight SF break while I'm finishing writing and recording my double debut album due out in May/June, while still touring to make waves ahead of same - then again SF may be the break I need in btwn that stuff.
Might submit the idea I had (for this fight) once it grows a few more of its facial features or internal organs at least.
Adieu

I'm going out of town tonight so I'm aiming to get the site updated some time today, in case anybody hasn't sent in their entry yet. Also if there is something wrong with the update (e.g. missing entry, etc.) I won't be readily available to fix things until next week, unfortunately. So hopefully you spelled your own band names properly and didn't leave silence at the beginning/end of your song, didn't send in an mp4 or m4a etc. etc.

So, I wrote a really terrible song- before the deadline even, but we didn't get a chance to record it. It is bad enough that I think it belongs here.

Dad Joke

My name is Tom
But you can call me Finn
There is no doubt I do deserve
This cell they put me in
Confession?
I should talk about my sins?
You ask me for my final words
Before they flip the switch

June 29,
1864
I was working on the Grand Trunk train
Just east of Otterburn
Toward the bridge
The train rolled through the night
We didn't know the bridge was up
'cause I didn't see the light

The train fell
Onto the barge passin' underneath
Cars of the train stacked up on top
Passengers beneath
A hundred hurt
And 99 had died
There was nothing left that I could do
But hang my head and cry

So now I sit here
Strapped into this chair
The jury found me guilty
And I don't even care
Eddy threw the switch
Old sparky sprang to life
A sudden gasp went through the crowd
You could cut it with a knife

A thousand volts
But nothing happened
So they turned it up to two
And charged it up again
It's all my fault
And they looked at me in horror
The problem is I never was...

...a very good conductor

Wow, Irwin... you're right.
-bill