The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Balance Lost—I didn’t like this the first time I heard it, but since then it’s become more enjoyable with every listen. Lots of good lyrical lines. Good rhythm, too. A couple of the lines (“but nothing got fixed” and “how the hell did they reach that conclusion”) seem to break the lyrical meter; was this intentional? I think the first instance works very well, but the second seems jarring. Good song overall.

dark side of the son—There’s a good song in here, but it needs to be chiseled out. I like the shifts to lower notes in the guitar/bass, and the vocal melody has lots of good spots. The looseness of the performance is an impediment to letting the song shine through.

Dollar Bill & the Inkpoints—You seem to have approached this song with deliberation and purpose, but I feel like something got lost in translation by the time it reached my ears. On the other hand, the instruments sound good, and the mixing is great.

Enter It in the Art Show—Pleasant to listen to. The drippy sounds are maybe a little too prominent. My favorite moments are when the melody on the low-pitched instrument resumes after a preceding period of tension.

Jan Krueger—Very well recorded and produced. As I listened, I wanted more variation (and maybe a tempo uptick rather than a perceived slowdown) between the chorus and the rest of the verses. The bridge sounded good and was a very welcome change, but it didn’t feel like quite enough. Definitely no complaints about any aspect of the performance.

Lichen Throat (me)—Thanks for all the mixing tips. This was the first time I had ever tried to use multiple vocal tracks, and obviously I didn’t really know what I was doing. I made a remix, incorporating many of the suggestions people have made: https://soundcloud.com/lichen-throat. The lyrics are based heavily on Daniel Defoe’s A Journal of the Plague Year, which I had recently read. Overall, I’m pretty happy with how this turned out, except that I don’t really like the chorus, and I think the tone of the bass was poorly chosen, which contributes to the muddiness that others have noted. Jan: Thanks for the offer; I would certainly be interested in more information about how to get more stability in the higher notes.

Metaluna—A younger version of me would have eaten this up with a soup spoon, and I still like it, even as a sedate middle-aged guy. Your performance and engineering skills are evident. I love the guitar tone that starts at 0:35. In general, the parts with discernable melody sound noticeably better than the parts without. I think it’s a little too long, but a fine song overall.

Pigfarmer Jr.—My favorite of your songs, and also my favorite of the week. Nothin’ fancy: just a solidly written and performed song that’s enjoyable all the way through.

Slickitude—This is pretty good, but something seems a little off. I don’t care for how the song trails off at the end of each verse. I do think, however, that the song is effective in evoking a feeling of dissatisfaction and resentment, as befits the genre you’ve chosen.

WreckdoM—I like the instrument (maybe a keyboard) that sounds like a distorted theremin. The rhythm is good, and I think it would have been well-suited to simply laying down a more conventional rap as the vocal track.

jast wrote:It's pretty much too late now, but here's a rough version of the song I might have submitted: http://static.music-jk.net/songfight/20 ... k-days.mp3

I liked this. It seems to be the type of song I'd expect from you, but I'm not entire sure why. It may have seemed a hair drawn out (long) and I didn't care for the drum sound (especially that snare) which could be party due to it being just a tad louder than I'd prefer, but I enjoyed listening and would do so again.

lichenthroat wrote:Balance Lost— A couple of the lines (“but nothing got fixed” and “how the hell did they reach that conclusion”) seem to break the lyrical meter; was this intentional?

Very much intentional. It's a personal taste thing but I find that sticking religiously to the rhythm can make some lines sound goofy, hackneyed or a bit forced. From listening to masters of the style, like GZA, it seems acceptable to periodically break from the meter for a more conversational flow. That's what I was attempting to do here.
I appreciate you listening multiple times, and I'm glad my track could go some way to winning you over somewhat. Thanks for the feedback.

lichenthroat wrote: Lichen Throat (me)—Thanks for all the mixing tips. This was the first time I had ever tried to use multiple vocal tracks, and obviously I didn’t really know what I was doing. I made a remix, incorporating many of the suggestions people have made: https://soundcloud.com/lichen-throat. The lyrics are based heavily on Daniel Defoe’s A Journal of the Plague Year, which I had recently read. Overall, I’m pretty happy with how this turned out, except that I don’t really like the chorus, and I think the tone of the bass was poorly chosen, which contributes to the muddiness that others have noted.

Had a listen to your remix, and enjoyed it - interesting that you don't like the chorus as I think it's really cool. The only bit I don't really like is the way it drops out then comes back in after the chorus; not sure it's just a result of the sampled guitar but it's a little clunky. Probably still my favourite song of this batch though! Even though I'm kind of into the roboticness of the guitar samples I'd love to hear a full-on live version, I think it'd sound ace.

Slickitude - Punkish with a rippin' solo. In and out with no fuss. NICE. Real drums or no? Regardless, has a very raw feel to it that works for the track. Digging the background vocals. Compositionally, it doesn't entirely move me but what you've done here, you've done well.

Pigfarmer, Jr. - I used to absolutely hate R.E.M. I may still hate them but I've come to appreciate what they do as I've gotten older. That said, what you've created here sounds like an amalgamation of R.E.M. and old country...and IT WORKS. Yikes. I like this quite a bit, actually - which frightens me. I don't usually pay much attention to lyrics but these are honest and heartfelt without being syrupy and cloying. Squeaky clean production, playing, and singing. Well done. VOTE.

Balance Lost - Depressingly bleak and evocative. I like the mixture of acoustic and electronic elements. Love the over-the-top Britishness of it all. Hanging on in quiet desperation really IS the English way, isn't it? The second verse isn't quite as strong as the first -though, honestly, isn't that every song?- but the vocal almost feels like it's trying to squeeze in too much. Even so, the message and the music seem very well aligned. VOTE.

[EDIT: Just re-read your remarks about breaking the flow. Interesting. I agree, it DID catch my attention and force me to listen harder.]

Enter it in the Art Show - My favorite. Vibe for DAYS. Or nights. Black Days. Whatever. How black? None blacker. Agree with other commenters that the "drop" sound may be too forward in the mix. Also, the vocal needs to be sung stronger/louder and have more reverb/delay on it (IMNSHO). Still, Winner Winner Chicken Dinner. VOTE.

[As an aside, sorry for not getting with you right away on "Bone Saw". I came up with something immediately but felt it needed the full METAL treatment (though it's ended up being a bit more rock than metal). I was also attempting to sing over it and while that didn't quite work out it took up a lot of my time. We shalt collab -eventually!]

dark side of the son - Lots of great ideas here. "Chaos and mayhem" defines the timing here, though. Everything seems WAY too loose. I do like the phased guitar quite a bit. I'd be curious what you used there. I think this would be really good if it was redone to a click and/or just turn up the percussion and follow that (not sure the drums were in time either, though).

Lichen Throat - I like the bass and drums - very solid. The Nintendo MIDI, on the other hand, is a bit distracting. I like the melody of the vocal but it sounds out of tune, especially against the backdrop of that MIDI acoustic guitar sound. Are you familiar with Melodyne? I use it on my bass guitar all of the time and on our band's vocalist (though he's good enough to not require too much). I find that singing the song, hard correcting the vocal take, and then doing another take with the corrected vocal as a guide is very helpful. Just my $0.02 (from the guy who hasn't submitted a vocal in while).

WreckdoM - If those vocals were performed and mixed a little tighter they would have a bit more impact. I like the industrial-ish percussion. Sounds kinda gangsta - which is not my wheelhouse, but even so. I liked this quite a bit more than I should. The devolution towards the end is definitely kind of funny, then it gets a little boring, then funny again as the joke goes on too long.

Dollar Bill & the Inkpoints - Top-notch production. A little too atonal for my tastes. The chorus doesn't quite grab me. What you've done, you've done well - just not my cuppa.

Metaluna - I wrote it and I dig it immensely. Therefore: VOTE.

Forgot one:

jast - I LOVE that rhythm you start the song with. Pulled me right in. I wanted a bit more of a hi-fi sound here. The second vocal is an excellent touch. I'd love to hear this with an actual bass guitar, though. Needs a bit more variation with the drums to give it some sizzle.

Since I started posting, the forum has gone from "bdog5778 and 1 guest" to "bdog5778 and 5 guests". I know you're out there, lurkers. Watching. Waiting. Yeah, not creepy at all!

furrypedro wrote:Jan: It’s pretty decent. I like the beat and pads in the chorus. The line “no one knows why” doesn’t seem to fit sonically, maybe because it subverts the rhyme.

That's kind of funny because that line is part of the only rhyme in the chorus... and the verses don't rhyme at all.

Also, everyone, thanks for your comments on my song. I'm aware of a number of flaws in the tracking and mixing. If I'd had more time I would have worked in a lot more details. I may finish an improved version later but with my schedule right now it's not looking terribly likely.

Congrats to Balance Lost.