The Song Fight Bulletin Board

One Turkey Sandwich, by Vom Vorton

it's the office Christmas party
and I'm feeling faint-hearted
everyone knows everyone
but I only just started
and the people are so friendly
I just want to impress
but I don't know what to order
and I'm not sure how to dress

I'll just have a taste of brandy
and a few slices of cheese
a small glass of wine
and a single turkey sandwich, please

the CEO has said he'll buy
the whole office a beer
and there's tons of enthusiastic
young people here
and I don't want to look old
I don't want them to think
that because I'm over thirty
I've forgotten how to drink

I'll take a half of bitter
and a slice of Christmas cake
load my plate with just as many
sprouts as it will take
I'll have a taste of brandy
and a few slices of cheese
a small glass of wine
and a single turkey sandwich, please

the alcohol is kicking in
I'm starting to relax
I'm bombarding my colleagues
with anecdotes and facts
some are making excuses
fleeing for their cars
but I'm pulling out my wallet
and I'm back off to the bar

I'll have six pints of lager
and finish the mince pies
I'll buy shots for my table
even though it’s not wise
I'll take a half of bitter
and a slice of christmas cake
load my plate with just as many
sprouts as it will take
I'll have a taste of brandy
and a few slices of cheese
a small glass of wine
and a single turkey sandwich, please

they’ve got fear in their eyes
they all wear a shocked expression
I think it’s fair to say…
I have made an impression

I've got food in my hair
and sick on my shirt
I'm dancing on the table
til my feet start to hurt
I've had six pints of lager
and I finished the mince pies
I bought shots for my table
even though it wasn't wise
I had a half of bitter
and a slice of Christmas cake
loaded my plate with just as many
sprouts as it would take
I had a taste of brandy
and a few slices of cheese
a small glass of wine
and a single turkey sandwich, please

"Feel My Trouble" - Third Cat

intro

just like any other kid
dreamed of being a star
but I never really did
get all that far.

verse 1

growing old at this dead-end job
Monday night headed out to the bar
and I'll have a shot of Jack

chorus

make it a double
I don't want to feel my trouble.

verse 2

Tuesday night headed out to the bar
and I'll have a Tom Collins
and a shot of Jack

chorus

make it a double
I don't want to feel my trouble.

verse 3

going nowhere at this nothing job
Wednesday night headed out to the bar
I'll have a whole bottle of Cabernet
and a Tom Collins
and a shot of Jack

chorus

make it a double
I don't want to feel my trouble.

verse 4

Thursday night headed out to the bar
I'll have a couple IPAs
and a whole bottle of Cabernet
and a Tom Collins
and a shot of Jack

(instrumental break)

verse 5

growing old at this dead-end job
Friday night headed out to the bar
I'll have a few Moscow Mules
and a couple IPAs
and a whole bottle of Cabernet
and a Tom Collins
and a shot of Jack

chorus

make it a double
I don't want to feel my trouble.