Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 2:26 pm
and ask Alice for a glass of her southern iced tea.
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Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
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Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 10:30 pm
Songs posted!
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2019 6:40 am
Lyric thread: https://songfight.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=11611
Please add em if you haven't already.
Please add em if you haven't already.
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:04 am
So many of these are awesome! I'll try to get reviews written sooner rather than later, but I'm probably going to have to set an arbitrary number of votes for myself to give out or else more than 2/3 are getting them.
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2019 11:31 am
A nice quiet morning here in Phlebia-land...so here we go!
Balance Lost:
Lyrically I like theme you went for with this one, and the execution is generally pretty solid (though I must say, I like the musically backing of your previous entry a little bit more). That drum fill that ends with the dinky little cowbell is pretty satisfying. And the backing bum-ba-dums towards the end was nice! Even though it builds up a bit more towards the end, I would have liked for this one to have a bit more in the way of dynamic range. And maybe use some beefier drum samples? That’s a production quibble. Perhaps my biggest quibble with this one was a lack of obvious connection to the title? I mean it’s a good song but the connection to “right town, wrong address” is a little tenuous.
Berkeley Social Scene:
Nice poppy rock tune! The drums sound super flat. But if you were using celery stalks or something, that wouldn’t really surprise me that much. Are they filtered or something? There’s enough timbral variety and imperfections in the playing that they sound like real drums and not a machine, but there’s something off with them productionwise. The solo sounds great, and I really like the synth that comes in. Though maybe the juxtaposition of that panning LFO compared to everything else being static in the mix doesn’t quite work, it stands out too much. Lyrically, it’s vague enough to sound pretty interesting and fit the title, though I can’t say it paints that much of a picture in my head. The AYAYAYAYAY parts got a big smile out of me.
The Dormouse Choir
Well, I have good and bad things to say about this one. The good one is that I love the lyrics. They do a great job of telling a very surreal story, with fantastic imagery and fun alliteration and wordplay at various points. The bad one is that for a song that's an acapella, you need a stronger melody. There are a number of times throughout this in which it seems like you're unsure of where the melody's going to go -- and there's not really much of a distinct melody. The inhalations and the popping on the mic are kind of distracting too. A bit more time to add more of a tune to this would have made it so much better. I can't emphasize enough that it's not the fact that my issues are not with this being a capella. That's great, and not something I hear much here. It's just the execution is quite lacking. Work on that and keep up your poetic streak and I'd love to see more of you around here.
Glenn Case:
Your songs are usually recognizable in the first 5 seconds or something. Something about your recording set-up, guitar tone, something? Anyway, it works for me. Unrelated musing: I wonder what the standard pronunciation of address is? You say “ADD-ress”. I say “ad-DRESS”. Is it a regional thing? Cause I’ve heard people say both. And it’s not like something like “a-CERNS” instead of “A-corns” where it’s a super obvious regional dialect (as I’ve mentioned, I grew up in “appa-LATCH-uh”). It’s weird how towns change over time. I feel like this is roughly the same theme that James Owens used in I Used To Know You Better, and it remains a good, relatable topic. There’s something about this track that doesn’t really hold my attention, even though it sounds good. It kind of hits a groove and just...stays there.
Hot Pink Halo:
I feel like there are local references in this track that I’m not catching at all because I really have no idea what this song is about. Fitzroy Town is apparently a neighborhood in Melbourne? I don’t see the connection with Rolls-Royce. But the lyrics fit the theme, despite the meaning not being totally clear to me. The fact that I know that you went all in on the optional challenge gives me a smile. This is better produced than most of your tracks, though perhaps from a mixing standpoint I’d have turned up the drums and guitar a little bit so they had a bit more punch. There’s a couple times through here where the guitar has a few timing issues that I noticed. Good job with the harmonies! Right when I was thinking “okay, let’s move off of this two note melody centered on V and VI you moved it up to I and II for most of it. Admittedly the melody could be a little bit more captivating...but all in all a big step up from last week.
James Owens:
Oh, that descending I-VII-VI-V progression. I’ve heard it in a zillion songs but it almost always works great for creating a mood. I want the vocals a little bit louder...and I really think this song would benefit from drums! And maybe a slightly different tone on the synth lead? And more treble in the guitar! Oh man, I’m just nitpicking your mix a whole lot. This is certainly another track where I’m not entirely sure where the title relates to the lyrics, though I certainly understand that pneumonia is terrible. The thing is, indoor recreational spaces result in more people breathing germy, recirculated air — so the germs would just circle around! My great-grandfather died of pneumonia. He was out hunting in depression-era western North Carolina, and had the choice of walking an extra 2 or 3 miles to a bridge or wading across a creek. Well he chose the creek, and my great-grandmother, mean old woman she was, had been cleaning all day and didn’t want his muddy self in the house, so she locked him out, he slept on the porch cold and wet, caught pneumonia, and died. Oh yeah, your song. It’s okay, I guess. I liked last week’s better.
Leppakron:
A bit less sloppy than the past few Leppakron entries, and unlike the past few weeks, I like this one better than the James Owens entry. I guess I’ll point out a few times the background vocals get a little out of sync from the primary vocals, and towards the end when that falsetto comes in there’s definitely a great deal of “boots in the dryer” rhythm going on and the words get kind of hard to understand. But the lyrics are pretty clever, stick to a theme, and I enjoyed listening to them to figure out which major landmarks you were going to miss because you couldn’t find them. I don’t think I heard the title phrase mentioned at any point in particular, but the theme was coherently touched on.
Lily Plus Martin:
Okay, this is probably my second favorite track of the fight, and also one of the stronger performances from Martin so far! I dig the time travel theme in the lyrics, though I have to wonder: are we actually going to fight against the machines next year? Cause if so that really sucks. I really dig the change up once Lily comes in, and this hits that need for dynamics that I’ve been complaining about so much in my reviews! The harmonies that start right when that drum machine fades in work. And I’m a sucker for sine wave synths, woo! It seems like the first isolated “but what now” is a little bit rushed. Again, these lyrics are great! To be honest, there’s hardly anything I can complain about regarding this song. I guess the acoustic guitar seems to slip a little bit out of time briefly right at the end. But all in all, this is great. VOTE.
The Magnetic Letters:
Very meta lyrics, given the prominent carrot whistle posted in the prefight thread, ha! This is back to the standard quality that I’ve come to expect over the past couple weeks (though I know you’ve been submitting regularly for longer than I have if you ignore my mid-2000s entries). This musically builds great, I love the horns...and everything! If I had to nit-pick the lyrics relating to the song, I would say I don’t really understand how you’re at the wrong address...sounds ilke you’re doing well for yourself in your carrot carving business right where you are. But you’re not really at a fixed address, you’re pushing the cart around. Also I don’t like fade outs, they’ve always seemed like a cop-out ending. But...whatever don’t care VOTE.
Miscellaneous owl:
“Slowcore entries are bold” - Owl, paraphrased. And here we are, gentle strumming, slow tempo, lovely singing, no abrupt kicks into high gear, nothing harsh, nothing noisy, just a simple, pleasant song where I happen to know that you recorded everything with food at some point. And I’d have never caught the celery if you hadn’t told us all about it. A lovely, melancholy lyric about a regretfully non-pursued partnership. There’s one thing about this I feel the need to critique. And that’s the spoken word bit. Right now it feels non-committal...cause it’s so low in the mix. LIke I had to take my headphones off to make sure that I wasn’t hearing something else. Then had to check to make sure I didn’t have a tab auto-playing audio. Either bring it into the mix more prominently and emphasize it a little bit more, or remove it! I mean the actual words themselves are cool. But...is that enough for me not to throw you a vote? I don’t think so. VOTE.
Phlebia (liner notes):
Okay, so this track is actually a true story. Summer of last year I really did go on a scooter ride with my kid, saw that a dog that had run out in front of my car on multiple occasions had been predictably run over, and gone home only to have the owners be convinced that I did it. There were about 6 or 7 of them: the oldest and most aggressive was a 50 something man, the rest were a few of his daughters and a couple of their significant others. And they drove up to my house in a white utility van. Technically, they didn’t really think that *I* did it — they thought I was lying to cover my parents’ asses. And the fact that we walked over to the car to MAKE SURE they hadn’t accidentally done it (and somehow not noticed the bump) made them thoroughly convinced that we were indeed lying.
So they started screaming at my then-8-months-pregnant wife and I, the 20-something daughter was getting up in my wife’s face and shoving her, and the dad was like aggressively chest bumping me and trying to corner me into my car, all of them saying stuff like “You need to tell your GIRLFRIEND to watch herself!” “DON’T YOU TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT YOU ASSHOLE” (as I’m telling them all to back off cause they’re in my yard), “I bet your daddy bought you this house!”, and similar shit-talking.
So because we’re pretty much being undeservedly assaulted in the driveway, I called the cops.They sent an officer who then questioned every aspect of the story, told us that he’d known the family forever, went to high school with the one who knocked on my door, and that they were great people — and maybe they were on most days — essentially downplaying everything my wife and I said, and then chalked it up to a “neighborly dispute” and left.
By the way the next morning my wife was scheduled for a c-section, so our son was born 18 hours later. The irony of it? I ran over an armadillo on my way to the hospital the next day. Oops. So yeah, June 24 2018 was a stupid day.
What would I do differently? Eh, maybe I could have processed the vocals differently. And I know there’s a couple lines I messed up. Oh well. I thought the bass and synth sounded great! But it’s my own song, of course I like it.
Pigfarmer Jr.:
Ha! I like this one quite a bit more than I’ve liked the past few entries of yours I’ve heard. The drums sound a little flat (and I’ll almost always complain about that in nearly all entries, so don’t take it too personally). Maybe they could use a bit more compression? The guitar solo sounds great, and the riffing is good. Vegas sounds like a very strange place. I went there once. I was 10 years old and visiting some members of my stepfather’s family. At the airport I got fussed at for wandering around the slot machines. No kids in here! I don’t really have a whole lot of other constructive criticism regarding this one, and as with so many other entries I just have to chalk up my lack of criticism to genre bias...but I can’t just say “make it sound different” cause it’s good at what it is, just not entirely my thing.
ShoehornTC:
Now I’m not familiar with you...and I think you’re the only newcomer this round! Wait, sfjukebox informs that you were here in the late aughts. Is that a nylon string guitar that I’m hearing in the background? Good finger picking going on there. The chord progression sort of falls into that overused category. I think this is the third entry alphabetically that namedrops the Eiffel Tower. The harmonies in the “you were where?” part sound really good. You must really like bloody marys. I mean they’re pretty good. I like em with a little bit of kick. Does Craigslist still have a “missed connection” section? Cause if I were in this story I’d have written it as song lyrics and posted in on there. All in all it’s not a bad song...but like I said to Pigfarmer Jr (and I feel like I say it to him often), well-executed just not really my thing.
Slither:
Dude! This sounds great, everything about this sounds great. You’re in this laid-back groove this time that works great for me. And that synth work sits so well in the stereo space! And the vocals! And the guitar slap-back! So good! And the solo! Wow! Everything sounds so fantastic! I love it! This is falling into the trap of a song that I like the sound of so much that I’m finding myself losing the narrative lyrically...which is totally find. The key change at the “where are you” part sounds great. The harmonies at the “you’ve always been in my heart” part...the chord choices! This has a certain retro vibe to it that sounds like something I’d find while digging through my dad’s record collection. There is absolutely nothing I would change about this song. Can I give this two votes? Wait. Wait. Found a complaint. I don’t like fade outs. Boo. Favorite of the fight. VOTE!!!
Third Cat:
You said you threw this together at the last minute? It’s got this lovely dreamy vibe that you tend to use fairly often. It feels a little bit underdeveloped, but you know that. There’s a chord in the “I’m in the right town but at the wrong address” that’s a major 7th that I think would sound better as a minor 7th. You probably can figure out which one I’m talking about. I’m assuming you’re using pitch correction on this song — cause it seems fairly noticeable to my ears. That ending though. Sonic bliss! I think if you spent just a little bit longer writing this one then it’d be one of my favorites of the fight. This fight is really tilted towards the alphabetically later songs regarding which ones I really like. In fact it’s still one of my favorites of the fight despite its rushed nature. VOTE
TOSHIRO:
“Post Archers-Of-Loaf noisefest” Now I have to say that I don’t know that band all that well so the comparison means nothing to me. But this definitely has a fun vibe to it. I wish that the drums were just a *little* bit louder in the mix cause they’re kind of drowned out in the mix. As a result it eventually starts to sort of smear into a more or less constant guitar fuzz. Ordinarily I wouldn’t think that this was much of a problem but when you start to add it all of the swirling and additional guitar layers, a lot of them are hard to follow. Like I hear this great sounding noodly distorted guitar work just begging to be brought forth in the mix during your extended outro. And when it drops to just the drums and residual...sounds at the very end, it finally shifts it into the mode where I’m expecting another movement. Instead it just ends. I like the energy behind it, and it’s a pretty solid song.
Balance Lost:
Lyrically I like theme you went for with this one, and the execution is generally pretty solid (though I must say, I like the musically backing of your previous entry a little bit more). That drum fill that ends with the dinky little cowbell is pretty satisfying. And the backing bum-ba-dums towards the end was nice! Even though it builds up a bit more towards the end, I would have liked for this one to have a bit more in the way of dynamic range. And maybe use some beefier drum samples? That’s a production quibble. Perhaps my biggest quibble with this one was a lack of obvious connection to the title? I mean it’s a good song but the connection to “right town, wrong address” is a little tenuous.
Berkeley Social Scene:
Nice poppy rock tune! The drums sound super flat. But if you were using celery stalks or something, that wouldn’t really surprise me that much. Are they filtered or something? There’s enough timbral variety and imperfections in the playing that they sound like real drums and not a machine, but there’s something off with them productionwise. The solo sounds great, and I really like the synth that comes in. Though maybe the juxtaposition of that panning LFO compared to everything else being static in the mix doesn’t quite work, it stands out too much. Lyrically, it’s vague enough to sound pretty interesting and fit the title, though I can’t say it paints that much of a picture in my head. The AYAYAYAYAY parts got a big smile out of me.
The Dormouse Choir
Well, I have good and bad things to say about this one. The good one is that I love the lyrics. They do a great job of telling a very surreal story, with fantastic imagery and fun alliteration and wordplay at various points. The bad one is that for a song that's an acapella, you need a stronger melody. There are a number of times throughout this in which it seems like you're unsure of where the melody's going to go -- and there's not really much of a distinct melody. The inhalations and the popping on the mic are kind of distracting too. A bit more time to add more of a tune to this would have made it so much better. I can't emphasize enough that it's not the fact that my issues are not with this being a capella. That's great, and not something I hear much here. It's just the execution is quite lacking. Work on that and keep up your poetic streak and I'd love to see more of you around here.
Glenn Case:
Your songs are usually recognizable in the first 5 seconds or something. Something about your recording set-up, guitar tone, something? Anyway, it works for me. Unrelated musing: I wonder what the standard pronunciation of address is? You say “ADD-ress”. I say “ad-DRESS”. Is it a regional thing? Cause I’ve heard people say both. And it’s not like something like “a-CERNS” instead of “A-corns” where it’s a super obvious regional dialect (as I’ve mentioned, I grew up in “appa-LATCH-uh”). It’s weird how towns change over time. I feel like this is roughly the same theme that James Owens used in I Used To Know You Better, and it remains a good, relatable topic. There’s something about this track that doesn’t really hold my attention, even though it sounds good. It kind of hits a groove and just...stays there.
Hot Pink Halo:
I feel like there are local references in this track that I’m not catching at all because I really have no idea what this song is about. Fitzroy Town is apparently a neighborhood in Melbourne? I don’t see the connection with Rolls-Royce. But the lyrics fit the theme, despite the meaning not being totally clear to me. The fact that I know that you went all in on the optional challenge gives me a smile. This is better produced than most of your tracks, though perhaps from a mixing standpoint I’d have turned up the drums and guitar a little bit so they had a bit more punch. There’s a couple times through here where the guitar has a few timing issues that I noticed. Good job with the harmonies! Right when I was thinking “okay, let’s move off of this two note melody centered on V and VI you moved it up to I and II for most of it. Admittedly the melody could be a little bit more captivating...but all in all a big step up from last week.
James Owens:
Oh, that descending I-VII-VI-V progression. I’ve heard it in a zillion songs but it almost always works great for creating a mood. I want the vocals a little bit louder...and I really think this song would benefit from drums! And maybe a slightly different tone on the synth lead? And more treble in the guitar! Oh man, I’m just nitpicking your mix a whole lot. This is certainly another track where I’m not entirely sure where the title relates to the lyrics, though I certainly understand that pneumonia is terrible. The thing is, indoor recreational spaces result in more people breathing germy, recirculated air — so the germs would just circle around! My great-grandfather died of pneumonia. He was out hunting in depression-era western North Carolina, and had the choice of walking an extra 2 or 3 miles to a bridge or wading across a creek. Well he chose the creek, and my great-grandmother, mean old woman she was, had been cleaning all day and didn’t want his muddy self in the house, so she locked him out, he slept on the porch cold and wet, caught pneumonia, and died. Oh yeah, your song. It’s okay, I guess. I liked last week’s better.
Leppakron:
A bit less sloppy than the past few Leppakron entries, and unlike the past few weeks, I like this one better than the James Owens entry. I guess I’ll point out a few times the background vocals get a little out of sync from the primary vocals, and towards the end when that falsetto comes in there’s definitely a great deal of “boots in the dryer” rhythm going on and the words get kind of hard to understand. But the lyrics are pretty clever, stick to a theme, and I enjoyed listening to them to figure out which major landmarks you were going to miss because you couldn’t find them. I don’t think I heard the title phrase mentioned at any point in particular, but the theme was coherently touched on.
Lily Plus Martin:
Okay, this is probably my second favorite track of the fight, and also one of the stronger performances from Martin so far! I dig the time travel theme in the lyrics, though I have to wonder: are we actually going to fight against the machines next year? Cause if so that really sucks. I really dig the change up once Lily comes in, and this hits that need for dynamics that I’ve been complaining about so much in my reviews! The harmonies that start right when that drum machine fades in work. And I’m a sucker for sine wave synths, woo! It seems like the first isolated “but what now” is a little bit rushed. Again, these lyrics are great! To be honest, there’s hardly anything I can complain about regarding this song. I guess the acoustic guitar seems to slip a little bit out of time briefly right at the end. But all in all, this is great. VOTE.
The Magnetic Letters:
Very meta lyrics, given the prominent carrot whistle posted in the prefight thread, ha! This is back to the standard quality that I’ve come to expect over the past couple weeks (though I know you’ve been submitting regularly for longer than I have if you ignore my mid-2000s entries). This musically builds great, I love the horns...and everything! If I had to nit-pick the lyrics relating to the song, I would say I don’t really understand how you’re at the wrong address...sounds ilke you’re doing well for yourself in your carrot carving business right where you are. But you’re not really at a fixed address, you’re pushing the cart around. Also I don’t like fade outs, they’ve always seemed like a cop-out ending. But...whatever don’t care VOTE.
Miscellaneous owl:
“Slowcore entries are bold” - Owl, paraphrased. And here we are, gentle strumming, slow tempo, lovely singing, no abrupt kicks into high gear, nothing harsh, nothing noisy, just a simple, pleasant song where I happen to know that you recorded everything with food at some point. And I’d have never caught the celery if you hadn’t told us all about it. A lovely, melancholy lyric about a regretfully non-pursued partnership. There’s one thing about this I feel the need to critique. And that’s the spoken word bit. Right now it feels non-committal...cause it’s so low in the mix. LIke I had to take my headphones off to make sure that I wasn’t hearing something else. Then had to check to make sure I didn’t have a tab auto-playing audio. Either bring it into the mix more prominently and emphasize it a little bit more, or remove it! I mean the actual words themselves are cool. But...is that enough for me not to throw you a vote? I don’t think so. VOTE.
Phlebia (liner notes):
Okay, so this track is actually a true story. Summer of last year I really did go on a scooter ride with my kid, saw that a dog that had run out in front of my car on multiple occasions had been predictably run over, and gone home only to have the owners be convinced that I did it. There were about 6 or 7 of them: the oldest and most aggressive was a 50 something man, the rest were a few of his daughters and a couple of their significant others. And they drove up to my house in a white utility van. Technically, they didn’t really think that *I* did it — they thought I was lying to cover my parents’ asses. And the fact that we walked over to the car to MAKE SURE they hadn’t accidentally done it (and somehow not noticed the bump) made them thoroughly convinced that we were indeed lying.
So they started screaming at my then-8-months-pregnant wife and I, the 20-something daughter was getting up in my wife’s face and shoving her, and the dad was like aggressively chest bumping me and trying to corner me into my car, all of them saying stuff like “You need to tell your GIRLFRIEND to watch herself!” “DON’T YOU TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT YOU ASSHOLE” (as I’m telling them all to back off cause they’re in my yard), “I bet your daddy bought you this house!”, and similar shit-talking.
So because we’re pretty much being undeservedly assaulted in the driveway, I called the cops.They sent an officer who then questioned every aspect of the story, told us that he’d known the family forever, went to high school with the one who knocked on my door, and that they were great people — and maybe they were on most days — essentially downplaying everything my wife and I said, and then chalked it up to a “neighborly dispute” and left.
By the way the next morning my wife was scheduled for a c-section, so our son was born 18 hours later. The irony of it? I ran over an armadillo on my way to the hospital the next day. Oops. So yeah, June 24 2018 was a stupid day.
What would I do differently? Eh, maybe I could have processed the vocals differently. And I know there’s a couple lines I messed up. Oh well. I thought the bass and synth sounded great! But it’s my own song, of course I like it.
Pigfarmer Jr.:
Ha! I like this one quite a bit more than I’ve liked the past few entries of yours I’ve heard. The drums sound a little flat (and I’ll almost always complain about that in nearly all entries, so don’t take it too personally). Maybe they could use a bit more compression? The guitar solo sounds great, and the riffing is good. Vegas sounds like a very strange place. I went there once. I was 10 years old and visiting some members of my stepfather’s family. At the airport I got fussed at for wandering around the slot machines. No kids in here! I don’t really have a whole lot of other constructive criticism regarding this one, and as with so many other entries I just have to chalk up my lack of criticism to genre bias...but I can’t just say “make it sound different” cause it’s good at what it is, just not entirely my thing.
ShoehornTC:
Now I’m not familiar with you...and I think you’re the only newcomer this round! Wait, sfjukebox informs that you were here in the late aughts. Is that a nylon string guitar that I’m hearing in the background? Good finger picking going on there. The chord progression sort of falls into that overused category. I think this is the third entry alphabetically that namedrops the Eiffel Tower. The harmonies in the “you were where?” part sound really good. You must really like bloody marys. I mean they’re pretty good. I like em with a little bit of kick. Does Craigslist still have a “missed connection” section? Cause if I were in this story I’d have written it as song lyrics and posted in on there. All in all it’s not a bad song...but like I said to Pigfarmer Jr (and I feel like I say it to him often), well-executed just not really my thing.
Slither:
Dude! This sounds great, everything about this sounds great. You’re in this laid-back groove this time that works great for me. And that synth work sits so well in the stereo space! And the vocals! And the guitar slap-back! So good! And the solo! Wow! Everything sounds so fantastic! I love it! This is falling into the trap of a song that I like the sound of so much that I’m finding myself losing the narrative lyrically...which is totally find. The key change at the “where are you” part sounds great. The harmonies at the “you’ve always been in my heart” part...the chord choices! This has a certain retro vibe to it that sounds like something I’d find while digging through my dad’s record collection. There is absolutely nothing I would change about this song. Can I give this two votes? Wait. Wait. Found a complaint. I don’t like fade outs. Boo. Favorite of the fight. VOTE!!!
Third Cat:
You said you threw this together at the last minute? It’s got this lovely dreamy vibe that you tend to use fairly often. It feels a little bit underdeveloped, but you know that. There’s a chord in the “I’m in the right town but at the wrong address” that’s a major 7th that I think would sound better as a minor 7th. You probably can figure out which one I’m talking about. I’m assuming you’re using pitch correction on this song — cause it seems fairly noticeable to my ears. That ending though. Sonic bliss! I think if you spent just a little bit longer writing this one then it’d be one of my favorites of the fight. This fight is really tilted towards the alphabetically later songs regarding which ones I really like. In fact it’s still one of my favorites of the fight despite its rushed nature. VOTE
TOSHIRO:
“Post Archers-Of-Loaf noisefest” Now I have to say that I don’t know that band all that well so the comparison means nothing to me. But this definitely has a fun vibe to it. I wish that the drums were just a *little* bit louder in the mix cause they’re kind of drowned out in the mix. As a result it eventually starts to sort of smear into a more or less constant guitar fuzz. Ordinarily I wouldn’t think that this was much of a problem but when you start to add it all of the swirling and additional guitar layers, a lot of them are hard to follow. Like I hear this great sounding noodly distorted guitar work just begging to be brought forth in the mix during your extended outro. And when it drops to just the drums and residual...sounds at the very end, it finally shifts it into the mode where I’m expecting another movement. Instead it just ends. I like the energy behind it, and it’s a pretty solid song.
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2019 11:47 am
I added an entry from The Dormouse Choir. (They originally sent their song in as a .m4a file and I didn't notice it. My script that downloads the songs from the emails to upload to the FTP server only looks for .mp3 files so their song got missed.)
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2019 3:10 pm
Generational thing, probably. There's a 1957 musical called The Music Man, with a classic number called "Ya Got Trouble" -- arguably the first rap song (https://www.mypalladium.org/broadways-f ... music-man/). It's available on YouTube (from the 1962 film version), with a great performance from Robert Preston, worth checking out. The main character is addressing River City. So, right town, wrong address, heh. I warned people in the prefight that it was a lame joke.Æpplês&vØdkã wrote: ↑Sat Nov 09, 2019 11:31 amJames Owens:
. . . I’m not entirely sure where the title relates to the lyrics. . .
I regret that we didn't somehow work in Berlin, Ontario, which changed its name to Kitchener during World War I.Æpplês&vØdkã wrote: ↑Sat Nov 09, 2019 11:31 amLeppakron:
. . . which major landmarks you were going to miss because you couldn’t find them. . .
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 1:54 am
An album's worth of good stuff here. Well done everyone.
BSS: I like Martin's vocals on this one, the register suits his voice well but there's still some signature yelping which keeps things interesting. I also dig the lean towards a poppier side of your sound. With the solo section I guess I appreciate the change in dynamic but it's probably my least favourite section, not due to any technical detail, only my own preference. The snare sounds unusual, not a criticism, just an observation. All round pretty good job!
Toshiro: When you mentioned Archers of Loaf in the prefight I got a little excited, and this does not disappoint in that regard - I may even have to do another homage of my own (I haven't gone "full-Bachmann" since the Hatchet fight). You really do shred your vocal chords on this one, I hope they didn't hurt too much but I think it was worth it. The "best defence" line may have nudged this just one notch too far into Loaf-pastiche territory (although it was "worst defence" they sang wasn't it?) but the psychedelic freakout at the end is just an explosion of glittering distorted mess that is amongst the most exhuberant things I've heard on Song Fight for a while. The whole thing is pretty damn great to be fair. The guitars sound great, the riffs are cool and the way it tumbles to a heap at the end is a fitting way to put a full stop on such a racket. I can't remember if I've thrown a vote your way so far but I definitely will be for this one.
Shoehorn TC: By the France line I feel like your trying too hard to make each couplet rhyme and it gets tired after a while. Apart from that this a pretty cute little tune. There's a ramshackle feel to it but it suits the style and there's a nice tonality to the various strings and the shuffle of the drums. It's simple but it works alright.
Phlebia: In spite of the filthy distortion elbowing it's way into this mix this is definitely the poppiest thing you've done for a while. I've just criticised Shoehorn for using too many rhyming couplets, and while this track is replete with them the almost disco-ish stomp of this makes the rhymes work. The relentless pound of the drums makes me wanna get on the dancefloor and thrash around. Although it has a motorik style there is a looseness there, but it hangs together well, and I really love how the distortion and the editing threaten to tear the song apart at almost every turn. The way the bass cuts in and out is really cool, and that along with the warping synths in the background near the end makes it feel like the tape machine is falling apart. I haven't even got to the catchy synth and lyrical hooks yet. Love it though, very good.
James Owens: Like a psychedelic rendition of Feelin' Good, complete with brass that sounds ready to be placed straight into a late 90s hiphop track. This is some bombastic blues fusion thingy. There isn't much in the way of dynamics, but this track knows what it wants to do, does it and then gets out of here. It's brassy, both literally and figuratively, and perhaps it's only shortcoming is that the sheer scale of the arrangement might have been a bridge too far for amateurs like ourselves to pull off convincingly. With a full band, etc. I'm sure this would sound as majestic as wants, and indeed deserves to be.
Lily & Martin: I'm never sure whether I should disregard artists recent songs or not when doing reviews, and usually I do end up taking the previous output into account. With that in mind, I think this is a welcome return to a more acoustic sound for you. As well as adding a warmth that is often lost in electronic music, you're clearly good players and the picking here is very pleasant. I don't know if it's because of the aforementioned or a coincidence but this track also contains the kind of dynamic shifts that your last couple of tracks were slightly lacking, and it's all the better for it. The frenetic drums, when they arrive, are reminiscent of Homogenic-era Bjork. The way the female vocal seems to take over halfway is a cool switch but your voices both compliment each other really well. The a cappella bit is cool. It's all really good, nothing boring or out of place, and I'm left with a feeling of satisfaction at the end.
Slither: In the intro I was worried that we were gonna get almost 5 minutes of reggae-tinged widdliness, but thankfully it backed off from that. I don't know what's coming over me because usually I would still hate this kind of music, but there's something about the 80s soft-rock stylings that I'm kind of digging. The understated guitar riff in the verse along with those smooth synths give this a nice atmosphere, and the change of tone and singer in the chorus provides a shift that adds a different kind of feel. Also, for a relatively slow tempo this manages to avoid being too ploddy, I think the shaker really helps in that respect, but I really like your tight drum sound, and the drummer is very good, doesn't get in the way, just very tight and with some nice grooves.
Dormouse Choir: Ah, poetry fight. I was going to cuss this for being a pointless indulgence but when I concentrate on it there is the occasional line that is quite well written. I guess the Dylan-esque drawl is intentional but it makes a significant portion of the lyrics inaudible, which is a shame since the words are literally all this has going for it.
Magnetic Letters: What are the odds that I sing this to myself EVERY TIME I COOK CARROTS for the rest of my life? It's songs like this where personal taste goes out the window; is this my style? No. Can I dance to it? No. Is a carrot a fruit? No. Could you have sang "food" instead of "fruit" to make it make more sense? Yes. Would it make the song better? No. All of these things are irrelevant, because I've got some nice big carrots! And the execution is proficient enough that I could fool my parents into thinking it's a "normal" song. The only question remaining is, am I going to vote for it? Well, your use of the word "truncheon" may have just tipped the answer into the affirmative zone.
Leppakron: So I gather you pretty much have a jam and record it. Ultimately, it's not my style so it's difficult for me to get into. It's super sloppy, quiet and there's that widdly guitar again, but it seems like you probably enjoy yourselves when you're making it so fair play.
Hot Pink Halo: This was bouncing along at a satisfying rate, the first thing that stuck out for me was it feels like the way you song "wrong address" in the chorus isn't the right choice. Pretty much everything else about this I like though. It's sunny, the organ is cool and I like your penchant for additional instrumentation. I love all the little details in the lyrics, what was on the stereo, etc. The more I think about it the more it makes me think of Gorky's Zygotic Mynci, and I love Gorky's, but maybe mixed with some other Britpoppers like Sleeper or something. All good things. And in spite of the earlier foible with the vocal delivery this is one occasion where fitting as many syllables into the line as possible actually feels like it works. I enjoyed it!
Pigfarmer the second: I'm not quite sure what to make of this one. It sounds like it's trying to be a badass rock song and yet it's dripping in guileless goofiness. On the part of the narrator I assume that this is intentional, having this dweeb spectacularly failing to find a party in a partay town (though I've never really seen the fascination with Vegas, but that's beside the point). Unfortunately, the track never seems to find it's rhythm as the guitars and beat seem to be fighting against each other, the fills constantly break the flow, and the phrasing on many of the lines is clunky in the way syllables are sometimes drawn out awkwardly or there are too many in one line. Out of all the songs in this fight, this one is like the kid that's desparately trying to be "cool", but their failure makes them look even less cool than the nerdy kids. I just read that back and realised I said nothing nice, errr....I didn't hate it.
MiscOwl: I was reading your lyrics and realised I'd completely forgotten about the challenge while listening to these songs. A successful exercise then! This song hits a really sweet note though. I mean, we've all heard enough lovelorn songs to last a lifetime but you manage to spin new life into the feelings that are conveyed here. I like how it becomes more existential as it goes on and tries to search for meaning where maybe there is none. I rarely vote for songs based on lyrics alone but this has me considering it, which is not to say the music wasn't enjoyable, it was, but it's not the centrepiece here. You allow the sentiment to be supported by the arrangement rather than overwhelming it.
Glenn Case: I may be wrong, but it feels like you write your songs chorus first and then work back from there. Whatever you do, you have a good technique for making the chorus arrive at the right time and go in the right direction. I like the simple drum patterns here that sound easy to play but switch things up nicely. I thing Pigfarmer could learn a thing or two from you about keeping things simple in order to sound more like you know what you're doing. It sounds well within your comfort zone but it's well-formed and executed.
Third Cat: A pleasant anodyne offering. There are elements of the Flaming Lips I can hear. The vocals drift past without really intruding on my memory too much but the instrumentation is creates a cool spacey feel, there's a bit of a Tame Impala feel to it as well in fact. So, I like the track although (to dredge up a common complaint) it fades out too quickly.
Balance Lost: I hesitate to explain lyrics, but what the hey, for those looking for a connection to the title; it's one side of a conversation about moving to a more affluent part of town for want of improving one's quality of life, my thoughts on the matter being that it probably doesn't matter. In my hometown for example, many people want an ME1 postcode (UK zip code) because this means "historic Rochester", whereas I had an ME4 postcode which means "chavvy Chatham". The fact that ME1 started 4 doors up from my house and the houses were exactly the same was irrelevant apparently, and as such ME1 commands house prices about £20k+ higher than my humble ME4. The good news being I could afford a house. Were the people up the road from me overflowing with boundless joy? I doubt it.
BSS: I like Martin's vocals on this one, the register suits his voice well but there's still some signature yelping which keeps things interesting. I also dig the lean towards a poppier side of your sound. With the solo section I guess I appreciate the change in dynamic but it's probably my least favourite section, not due to any technical detail, only my own preference. The snare sounds unusual, not a criticism, just an observation. All round pretty good job!
Toshiro: When you mentioned Archers of Loaf in the prefight I got a little excited, and this does not disappoint in that regard - I may even have to do another homage of my own (I haven't gone "full-Bachmann" since the Hatchet fight). You really do shred your vocal chords on this one, I hope they didn't hurt too much but I think it was worth it. The "best defence" line may have nudged this just one notch too far into Loaf-pastiche territory (although it was "worst defence" they sang wasn't it?) but the psychedelic freakout at the end is just an explosion of glittering distorted mess that is amongst the most exhuberant things I've heard on Song Fight for a while. The whole thing is pretty damn great to be fair. The guitars sound great, the riffs are cool and the way it tumbles to a heap at the end is a fitting way to put a full stop on such a racket. I can't remember if I've thrown a vote your way so far but I definitely will be for this one.
Shoehorn TC: By the France line I feel like your trying too hard to make each couplet rhyme and it gets tired after a while. Apart from that this a pretty cute little tune. There's a ramshackle feel to it but it suits the style and there's a nice tonality to the various strings and the shuffle of the drums. It's simple but it works alright.
Phlebia: In spite of the filthy distortion elbowing it's way into this mix this is definitely the poppiest thing you've done for a while. I've just criticised Shoehorn for using too many rhyming couplets, and while this track is replete with them the almost disco-ish stomp of this makes the rhymes work. The relentless pound of the drums makes me wanna get on the dancefloor and thrash around. Although it has a motorik style there is a looseness there, but it hangs together well, and I really love how the distortion and the editing threaten to tear the song apart at almost every turn. The way the bass cuts in and out is really cool, and that along with the warping synths in the background near the end makes it feel like the tape machine is falling apart. I haven't even got to the catchy synth and lyrical hooks yet. Love it though, very good.
James Owens: Like a psychedelic rendition of Feelin' Good, complete with brass that sounds ready to be placed straight into a late 90s hiphop track. This is some bombastic blues fusion thingy. There isn't much in the way of dynamics, but this track knows what it wants to do, does it and then gets out of here. It's brassy, both literally and figuratively, and perhaps it's only shortcoming is that the sheer scale of the arrangement might have been a bridge too far for amateurs like ourselves to pull off convincingly. With a full band, etc. I'm sure this would sound as majestic as wants, and indeed deserves to be.
Lily & Martin: I'm never sure whether I should disregard artists recent songs or not when doing reviews, and usually I do end up taking the previous output into account. With that in mind, I think this is a welcome return to a more acoustic sound for you. As well as adding a warmth that is often lost in electronic music, you're clearly good players and the picking here is very pleasant. I don't know if it's because of the aforementioned or a coincidence but this track also contains the kind of dynamic shifts that your last couple of tracks were slightly lacking, and it's all the better for it. The frenetic drums, when they arrive, are reminiscent of Homogenic-era Bjork. The way the female vocal seems to take over halfway is a cool switch but your voices both compliment each other really well. The a cappella bit is cool. It's all really good, nothing boring or out of place, and I'm left with a feeling of satisfaction at the end.
Slither: In the intro I was worried that we were gonna get almost 5 minutes of reggae-tinged widdliness, but thankfully it backed off from that. I don't know what's coming over me because usually I would still hate this kind of music, but there's something about the 80s soft-rock stylings that I'm kind of digging. The understated guitar riff in the verse along with those smooth synths give this a nice atmosphere, and the change of tone and singer in the chorus provides a shift that adds a different kind of feel. Also, for a relatively slow tempo this manages to avoid being too ploddy, I think the shaker really helps in that respect, but I really like your tight drum sound, and the drummer is very good, doesn't get in the way, just very tight and with some nice grooves.
Dormouse Choir: Ah, poetry fight. I was going to cuss this for being a pointless indulgence but when I concentrate on it there is the occasional line that is quite well written. I guess the Dylan-esque drawl is intentional but it makes a significant portion of the lyrics inaudible, which is a shame since the words are literally all this has going for it.
Magnetic Letters: What are the odds that I sing this to myself EVERY TIME I COOK CARROTS for the rest of my life? It's songs like this where personal taste goes out the window; is this my style? No. Can I dance to it? No. Is a carrot a fruit? No. Could you have sang "food" instead of "fruit" to make it make more sense? Yes. Would it make the song better? No. All of these things are irrelevant, because I've got some nice big carrots! And the execution is proficient enough that I could fool my parents into thinking it's a "normal" song. The only question remaining is, am I going to vote for it? Well, your use of the word "truncheon" may have just tipped the answer into the affirmative zone.
Leppakron: So I gather you pretty much have a jam and record it. Ultimately, it's not my style so it's difficult for me to get into. It's super sloppy, quiet and there's that widdly guitar again, but it seems like you probably enjoy yourselves when you're making it so fair play.
Hot Pink Halo: This was bouncing along at a satisfying rate, the first thing that stuck out for me was it feels like the way you song "wrong address" in the chorus isn't the right choice. Pretty much everything else about this I like though. It's sunny, the organ is cool and I like your penchant for additional instrumentation. I love all the little details in the lyrics, what was on the stereo, etc. The more I think about it the more it makes me think of Gorky's Zygotic Mynci, and I love Gorky's, but maybe mixed with some other Britpoppers like Sleeper or something. All good things. And in spite of the earlier foible with the vocal delivery this is one occasion where fitting as many syllables into the line as possible actually feels like it works. I enjoyed it!
Pigfarmer the second: I'm not quite sure what to make of this one. It sounds like it's trying to be a badass rock song and yet it's dripping in guileless goofiness. On the part of the narrator I assume that this is intentional, having this dweeb spectacularly failing to find a party in a partay town (though I've never really seen the fascination with Vegas, but that's beside the point). Unfortunately, the track never seems to find it's rhythm as the guitars and beat seem to be fighting against each other, the fills constantly break the flow, and the phrasing on many of the lines is clunky in the way syllables are sometimes drawn out awkwardly or there are too many in one line. Out of all the songs in this fight, this one is like the kid that's desparately trying to be "cool", but their failure makes them look even less cool than the nerdy kids. I just read that back and realised I said nothing nice, errr....I didn't hate it.
MiscOwl: I was reading your lyrics and realised I'd completely forgotten about the challenge while listening to these songs. A successful exercise then! This song hits a really sweet note though. I mean, we've all heard enough lovelorn songs to last a lifetime but you manage to spin new life into the feelings that are conveyed here. I like how it becomes more existential as it goes on and tries to search for meaning where maybe there is none. I rarely vote for songs based on lyrics alone but this has me considering it, which is not to say the music wasn't enjoyable, it was, but it's not the centrepiece here. You allow the sentiment to be supported by the arrangement rather than overwhelming it.
Glenn Case: I may be wrong, but it feels like you write your songs chorus first and then work back from there. Whatever you do, you have a good technique for making the chorus arrive at the right time and go in the right direction. I like the simple drum patterns here that sound easy to play but switch things up nicely. I thing Pigfarmer could learn a thing or two from you about keeping things simple in order to sound more like you know what you're doing. It sounds well within your comfort zone but it's well-formed and executed.
Third Cat: A pleasant anodyne offering. There are elements of the Flaming Lips I can hear. The vocals drift past without really intruding on my memory too much but the instrumentation is creates a cool spacey feel, there's a bit of a Tame Impala feel to it as well in fact. So, I like the track although (to dredge up a common complaint) it fades out too quickly.
Balance Lost: I hesitate to explain lyrics, but what the hey, for those looking for a connection to the title; it's one side of a conversation about moving to a more affluent part of town for want of improving one's quality of life, my thoughts on the matter being that it probably doesn't matter. In my hometown for example, many people want an ME1 postcode (UK zip code) because this means "historic Rochester", whereas I had an ME4 postcode which means "chavvy Chatham". The fact that ME1 started 4 doors up from my house and the houses were exactly the same was irrelevant apparently, and as such ME1 commands house prices about £20k+ higher than my humble ME4. The good news being I could afford a house. Were the people up the road from me overflowing with boundless joy? I doubt it.
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:13 am
I was just playing these songs while cooking dinner (roast pumpkin, olives, and goat cheese on a bed of baby spinach; if you care), and when Balance Lost came on, my daughter said “did this one win? Because it should”
‘nuff said.
‘nuff said.
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 4:05 am
Amazing. Your daughter clearly has impeccable taste
I was just thinking about something else too...
I suddenly remembered my comments from last week (I think?) about having your own character, and I feel that was present more here, and I appreciate that. This track definitely felt like it was written by a person with a distinctive personality and that can only be a good thing.
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 4:30 am
I did go a bit over the top when it came to the endless rhyming...I think I ended a total of 21 lines with words that rhyme with address in one form or another (with transgression included in that, though it only sort of fits).furrypedro wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2019 1:54 amAn album's worth of good stuff here. Well done everyone.
Phlebia: In spite of the filthy distortion elbowing it's way into this mix this is definitely the poppiest thing you've done for a while. I've just criticised Shoehorn for using too many rhyming couplets, and while this track is replete with them the almost disco-ish stomp of this makes the rhymes work. The relentless pound of the drums makes me wanna get on the dancefloor and thrash around. Although it has a motorik style there is a looseness there, but it hangs together well, and I really love how the distortion and the editing threaten to tear the song apart at almost every turn. The way the bass cuts in and out is really cool, and that along with the warping synths in the background near the end makes it feel like the tape machine is falling apart. I haven't even got to the catchy synth and lyrical hooks yet. Love it though, very good.
As for the warp, I'll suggest iZotope Vinyl as a great VST plug-in. It's free, and it's great, and it's warptacular. As for the cutting in and out, I took inspiration from my piece-of-crap amp cord and decided "Why not attack the drum track with the playlist "cut" tool in FL Studio"? You're right though, this is probably the poppiest track I've submitted since Liquid Starshine -- which also was filled with motorik drums and a heavy bassline. I guess that's my default mode.
Also, I didn't realize people cared so much about postal codes over there. I can't say I've heard too much complaining about those in any town that I've lived in, but then again right now I'm on the outskirts of metro Atlanta where it's the suburb names moreso than the zip code. I live in Tyrone, but if I was 2 miles further south I'd be in Peachtree City. And my house would have cost me about 30% more, minimum with crazy high property tax. That place is basically pleasantville with golf carts -- Tyrone is basically Atlanta commuters interspersed with a dash of "classic deep south". I hear cows and airplanes all the time.
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 4:33 am
It’s true, she does, as evidenced by this letter she wrote me one time.
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 5:08 am
If I received a letter like that I wouldn't mind almost being referred to as "armpit" either. I think I will also sign my name using the Crawfish Popsicle font from now on.
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 5:58 am
Balance Lost - I really like the rhythms in this, especially like the part that starts at 35 seconds (and again at 1:23, 2:02) - that bit is really great, catchy and interesting. I like the rest of it too and it's been growing on me with multiple listens. A contender for my favorite of the fight. VOTE.
BSS - This is a good one, my main complaint is that the title part of the lyrics sounds kind of forced and doesn't flow as well as the rest of the melody/lyrics. Good guitars & drums. I like the guitar solo, nice. I like this one but don't quite love it. Still I think it deserves a VOTE.
The Dormouse Choir - The lyrics don't flow in a musical way. It makes it hard to concentrate on the lyrics which would seem to be the only point to this kind of thing, you'd be better off just doing straight spoken word.
Glenn Case - This is good, I like the acoustic guitars. Chorus line is catchy and holds it together well. This a song where I'm having a hard time saying much about it, it's a good song but doesn't make a huge impression on me. Still it's good. VOTE.
Hot Pink Halo - Instrumentally I quite enjoy this, cool quirky choices. I really like your taste.
James Owens - This is a fun one, I love the atmosphere. The delays might be a bit much and the whole thing is maybe a bit too loose/mushy but I still like it. VOTE.
Leppakron - This sounds like it was fun to record but ... it's just a bit too messy to really get a hold of as a listener. And the constant lead guitar noodling is off-putting.
Lily + Martin - This melody at the beginning sounds really familiar but I can't place it. This is definitely in the running for my favorite of the fight. A really impressive piece of work. Excellent playing, singing, mix, production. And really creative, interesting stuff. VOTE.
The Magnetic Letters - I really like how you worked the title into your lyrics. Cool melody and lovely vocal delivery - really draws me into the song. I feel like I'm voting for just about every song this time around but I can't not vote for this one. It's really charming. I love the instrumental solo, the horn tastes delicious like a carrot, I like carrots, they are a versatile root. (I saw that your lyric sheet says "fruit" but I heard it as "root" and ... well it is a root, not a fruit. so I'm going with my interpretation.) If I have a complaint it's that it does feel a bit long, but that may be a song fight specific complaint. This is also a song that is a grower, I was liking it but then I liked it even more with more listening. Funny weird lyrics. VOTE.
Misc Owl - This might be my favorite Misc Owl song I've heard so far. I love the atmosphere. You have a very nice voice in general but I think it sounds particularly good on this kind of dreamy song. My one complaint is the dialogue that runs under the track starting around 3 minutes - I generally like that kind of trippy weirdness but I find it distracting in this context. Still an easy VOTE.
Phlebia - Always appreciate your adventurous recordings - seems like you're doing a different style every fight. There are some parts where I'm thinking the mix is really wonky but then that lets you do these really interesting changes in sound like where the bass is up front and the song sounds like it's a 1000 miles away. This song made me feel a little bit itchy but I like being itchy sometimes. VOTE.
Pigfarmer Jr. - Cool rock n roll vibe. Vocals sound a little too much like they're sitting on top of the song (especially on the verses). I like the guitar solo, short & sweet.
Shoehorn TC - Nice jingle jangle sound. Good vocal for the style. Could be a grower, I like it but not quite as much as some of the others this time around.
Slither - Great sounding instrumental, sounds pro. Sweet guitar solos. Classic rock to the max. This one gets a vote for the production/mix/instrumental and the "you never left my heart" chorus which is pretty awesome ... the verse vocal doesn't draw me in as much (partly because I've heard very similar delivery on your other songs...) Love the trippy outro too. Didn't overstay its welcome even at nearly 5 minutes. VOTE.
TOSHIRO - Drums seem a bit lost in the mix, maybe guitars too loud? Pretty cool vocal delivery. Catchy head nodding chorus. The instrumental breakdown is pretty face melting. The things in the mix I'm hearing as 'wrong' I think are on purpose to create an effect and it is an interesting disorienting effect. VOTE.
(I think I voted for too many this time, but a lot of impressive songs)
BSS - This is a good one, my main complaint is that the title part of the lyrics sounds kind of forced and doesn't flow as well as the rest of the melody/lyrics. Good guitars & drums. I like the guitar solo, nice. I like this one but don't quite love it. Still I think it deserves a VOTE.
The Dormouse Choir - The lyrics don't flow in a musical way. It makes it hard to concentrate on the lyrics which would seem to be the only point to this kind of thing, you'd be better off just doing straight spoken word.
Glenn Case - This is good, I like the acoustic guitars. Chorus line is catchy and holds it together well. This a song where I'm having a hard time saying much about it, it's a good song but doesn't make a huge impression on me. Still it's good. VOTE.
Hot Pink Halo - Instrumentally I quite enjoy this, cool quirky choices. I really like your taste.
James Owens - This is a fun one, I love the atmosphere. The delays might be a bit much and the whole thing is maybe a bit too loose/mushy but I still like it. VOTE.
Leppakron - This sounds like it was fun to record but ... it's just a bit too messy to really get a hold of as a listener. And the constant lead guitar noodling is off-putting.
Lily + Martin - This melody at the beginning sounds really familiar but I can't place it. This is definitely in the running for my favorite of the fight. A really impressive piece of work. Excellent playing, singing, mix, production. And really creative, interesting stuff. VOTE.
The Magnetic Letters - I really like how you worked the title into your lyrics. Cool melody and lovely vocal delivery - really draws me into the song. I feel like I'm voting for just about every song this time around but I can't not vote for this one. It's really charming. I love the instrumental solo, the horn tastes delicious like a carrot, I like carrots, they are a versatile root. (I saw that your lyric sheet says "fruit" but I heard it as "root" and ... well it is a root, not a fruit. so I'm going with my interpretation.) If I have a complaint it's that it does feel a bit long, but that may be a song fight specific complaint. This is also a song that is a grower, I was liking it but then I liked it even more with more listening. Funny weird lyrics. VOTE.
Misc Owl - This might be my favorite Misc Owl song I've heard so far. I love the atmosphere. You have a very nice voice in general but I think it sounds particularly good on this kind of dreamy song. My one complaint is the dialogue that runs under the track starting around 3 minutes - I generally like that kind of trippy weirdness but I find it distracting in this context. Still an easy VOTE.
Phlebia - Always appreciate your adventurous recordings - seems like you're doing a different style every fight. There are some parts where I'm thinking the mix is really wonky but then that lets you do these really interesting changes in sound like where the bass is up front and the song sounds like it's a 1000 miles away. This song made me feel a little bit itchy but I like being itchy sometimes. VOTE.
Pigfarmer Jr. - Cool rock n roll vibe. Vocals sound a little too much like they're sitting on top of the song (especially on the verses). I like the guitar solo, short & sweet.
Shoehorn TC - Nice jingle jangle sound. Good vocal for the style. Could be a grower, I like it but not quite as much as some of the others this time around.
Slither - Great sounding instrumental, sounds pro. Sweet guitar solos. Classic rock to the max. This one gets a vote for the production/mix/instrumental and the "you never left my heart" chorus which is pretty awesome ... the verse vocal doesn't draw me in as much (partly because I've heard very similar delivery on your other songs...) Love the trippy outro too. Didn't overstay its welcome even at nearly 5 minutes. VOTE.
TOSHIRO - Drums seem a bit lost in the mix, maybe guitars too loud? Pretty cool vocal delivery. Catchy head nodding chorus. The instrumental breakdown is pretty face melting. The things in the mix I'm hearing as 'wrong' I think are on purpose to create an effect and it is an interesting disorienting effect. VOTE.
(I think I voted for too many this time, but a lot of impressive songs)
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:25 am
Excellent fight! Will have to set my threshold extremely high to avoid voting for nearly everything.
Balance Lost: pleased to see you moving back into a style that I'm heavily biased towards, after last fight's more straightforward rock song was such a critical and popular failure (I assume, not checked the results). This is full of catchy hooks, interesting ideas and production choices and well-written lyrics, and I wholeheartedly enjoyed it.
Berkeley Social Scene: I can usually rely on BSS songs having solid production even when I'm not into the composition. This is a really good song but it sounds kinda shitty? The drums in particular are horrible, thin and tinny. And I say that as somebody who loves the sound of most lo-fi drum recordings! Everything else is good, the vocal performance is strong, lyrics are good, melody is catchy and I like the guitar / keyboard parts in the chorus. But in a very strong fight the production on this is probably enough to knock it out of my top group.
The Dormouse Choir: the lyrics are good, but a rambling a capella track is always going to have trouble standing up to a bunch of fully fleshed-out songs and sadly that's the case here. I'd like to hear this kind of storytelling as spoken word over an atmospheric instrumental or something, that'd be really cool.
Glenn Case: I'm going to start calling you Mister Consistent (I'm not, I'll probably stick with "Glenn"). I'm not sure I've ever heard a song from you that isn't extremely well written and produced. Some of them I like more than others but I can't deny the quality. This is all a roundabout way of saying I'm not really sure what to say about this song - but it's good!
Hot Pink Halo: I love the music, there's so much going on - tinkling harpsichord arpeggios, banana melodica... but I'm not quite as into the vocals, they seem to stick with a fairly staccato rhythm and a couple of notes and I wish there was a bit more rhythmic variation and more of a melody to follow. The vocals are very much in the foreground as well, I think they could be a little lower in the mix and allow the lovely music a little more room without losing clarity. I did like this but it feels like it could be a lot better with a few tweaks.
James Owens: dramatic, fun and different. Kinda feels like it has that one idea though and doesn't know where else to go. I like that you're trying different things, but this one didn't do it for me as much as your last two.
Leppakron: I feel like the lead guitar is paying a little more attention to what the rest of the song is doing on this one which means that it works a little better for me than some of the other Leppakron stuff. But yeah, it's a loose jam that sounds like it was a lot more fun to make than it is to listen to. A lot of that is my own genre bias, I'm sure.
Lily Plus Martin: plenty to admire here, although personally I found the mid-song switch-up to be a little too abrupt - since the vocalist, instrumentation, melody etc. all change at the same time it feels more like two songs jammed together than an evolution of the same song. I wish there was some element from the initial acoustic section that carried over into the middle bit to act as a bridge, if that makes any sense. I'm a sucker for time travel though, the production is great and you're both doing strong vocal work so I do like this quite a bit.
The Magnetic Letters: amazingly odd, witty storytelling and I love that you've put so much effort into the arrangement and composition, which makes it even funnier. As does the description of carrot as a fruit, which for some reason is endlessly entertaining to me. My only criticism is one that I've borrowed from Phlebia - the actual link to the title seems very tenuous. But I like this a lot and I'm still going to include it in my top tier.
miscellaneous owl: agreed with Phlebia that this could do without the spoken word sample / TV left on in another room / whatever that is. But everything else is absolutely superb, the roomy sound is lo-fi in all the right ways and I love the sparse, beautiful arrangement and melody. And also that you're playing guitar with a nut.
Phlebia: it is amusing to me that this noisefest immediately follows owl in the alphabetical order! I basically love this for about 66% of the run-time but due to the noisiness basically making the lyrics unintelligible it kinda runs out of steam before the end for me - if I could keep following the words then I probably wouldn't mind, but as it is I kinda wish this ended at the point where you drop out to just the bass. I love the distorted bass and synth though and this is a welcome return to that weird dark-pop sound that I enjoyed on a few of your earlier entries.
Pigfarmer Jr: like BSS, this is a solid song that doesn't feel like it's been given the love it deserves. The riffs and melody are solid, the lyrics are kinda fun, but the performance and timing are sloppy and feel like they're crying out for a couple more takes, and the mix is a little flat and lifeless. I think I'm more forgiving of mix issues when the song is a little more ambitious, for a straight-up rock number I want to hear everything tight and shiny!
ShoehornTC: really love this one, it's extremely charming with some great harmonies, a sweet story to tell and a very appealing melody. Some of the rhymes feel a little forced in a sort of first-suggestion-from-a-rhyming-dictionary way but the final chorus rhyming address / prettiest totally wins me back over, more please!
Slither: the production on this is absolutely superb, I love the spacey synth-rock vibe. Neither of the vocal styles are particularly in line with my personal tastes but the fact that you change it up for the chorus makes a big difference I think. Good stuff on the whole - although I'd ditch that little outro, it felt tacked-on to me.
Third Cat: dreamy and atmospheric, but further down that Third Cat rabbithole where I enjoy having the music washing over me but nothing really sticks. Not your fault, I should add - it's a genre thing, you're doing good work but pushing into territory I struggle to say anything constructive about.
TOSHIRO: I haven't heard much Archers of Loaf (I could name one song!) but this is appealingly noisy and scrappy and I enjoyed it a lot. It's the sort of energetic lo-fi style where commenting on the mix would be beside the point, so I'll just say that I liked it a great deal!
Balance Lost: pleased to see you moving back into a style that I'm heavily biased towards, after last fight's more straightforward rock song was such a critical and popular failure (I assume, not checked the results). This is full of catchy hooks, interesting ideas and production choices and well-written lyrics, and I wholeheartedly enjoyed it.
Berkeley Social Scene: I can usually rely on BSS songs having solid production even when I'm not into the composition. This is a really good song but it sounds kinda shitty? The drums in particular are horrible, thin and tinny. And I say that as somebody who loves the sound of most lo-fi drum recordings! Everything else is good, the vocal performance is strong, lyrics are good, melody is catchy and I like the guitar / keyboard parts in the chorus. But in a very strong fight the production on this is probably enough to knock it out of my top group.
The Dormouse Choir: the lyrics are good, but a rambling a capella track is always going to have trouble standing up to a bunch of fully fleshed-out songs and sadly that's the case here. I'd like to hear this kind of storytelling as spoken word over an atmospheric instrumental or something, that'd be really cool.
Glenn Case: I'm going to start calling you Mister Consistent (I'm not, I'll probably stick with "Glenn"). I'm not sure I've ever heard a song from you that isn't extremely well written and produced. Some of them I like more than others but I can't deny the quality. This is all a roundabout way of saying I'm not really sure what to say about this song - but it's good!
Hot Pink Halo: I love the music, there's so much going on - tinkling harpsichord arpeggios, banana melodica... but I'm not quite as into the vocals, they seem to stick with a fairly staccato rhythm and a couple of notes and I wish there was a bit more rhythmic variation and more of a melody to follow. The vocals are very much in the foreground as well, I think they could be a little lower in the mix and allow the lovely music a little more room without losing clarity. I did like this but it feels like it could be a lot better with a few tweaks.
James Owens: dramatic, fun and different. Kinda feels like it has that one idea though and doesn't know where else to go. I like that you're trying different things, but this one didn't do it for me as much as your last two.
Leppakron: I feel like the lead guitar is paying a little more attention to what the rest of the song is doing on this one which means that it works a little better for me than some of the other Leppakron stuff. But yeah, it's a loose jam that sounds like it was a lot more fun to make than it is to listen to. A lot of that is my own genre bias, I'm sure.
Lily Plus Martin: plenty to admire here, although personally I found the mid-song switch-up to be a little too abrupt - since the vocalist, instrumentation, melody etc. all change at the same time it feels more like two songs jammed together than an evolution of the same song. I wish there was some element from the initial acoustic section that carried over into the middle bit to act as a bridge, if that makes any sense. I'm a sucker for time travel though, the production is great and you're both doing strong vocal work so I do like this quite a bit.
The Magnetic Letters: amazingly odd, witty storytelling and I love that you've put so much effort into the arrangement and composition, which makes it even funnier. As does the description of carrot as a fruit, which for some reason is endlessly entertaining to me. My only criticism is one that I've borrowed from Phlebia - the actual link to the title seems very tenuous. But I like this a lot and I'm still going to include it in my top tier.
miscellaneous owl: agreed with Phlebia that this could do without the spoken word sample / TV left on in another room / whatever that is. But everything else is absolutely superb, the roomy sound is lo-fi in all the right ways and I love the sparse, beautiful arrangement and melody. And also that you're playing guitar with a nut.
Phlebia: it is amusing to me that this noisefest immediately follows owl in the alphabetical order! I basically love this for about 66% of the run-time but due to the noisiness basically making the lyrics unintelligible it kinda runs out of steam before the end for me - if I could keep following the words then I probably wouldn't mind, but as it is I kinda wish this ended at the point where you drop out to just the bass. I love the distorted bass and synth though and this is a welcome return to that weird dark-pop sound that I enjoyed on a few of your earlier entries.
Pigfarmer Jr: like BSS, this is a solid song that doesn't feel like it's been given the love it deserves. The riffs and melody are solid, the lyrics are kinda fun, but the performance and timing are sloppy and feel like they're crying out for a couple more takes, and the mix is a little flat and lifeless. I think I'm more forgiving of mix issues when the song is a little more ambitious, for a straight-up rock number I want to hear everything tight and shiny!
ShoehornTC: really love this one, it's extremely charming with some great harmonies, a sweet story to tell and a very appealing melody. Some of the rhymes feel a little forced in a sort of first-suggestion-from-a-rhyming-dictionary way but the final chorus rhyming address / prettiest totally wins me back over, more please!
Slither: the production on this is absolutely superb, I love the spacey synth-rock vibe. Neither of the vocal styles are particularly in line with my personal tastes but the fact that you change it up for the chorus makes a big difference I think. Good stuff on the whole - although I'd ditch that little outro, it felt tacked-on to me.
Third Cat: dreamy and atmospheric, but further down that Third Cat rabbithole where I enjoy having the music washing over me but nothing really sticks. Not your fault, I should add - it's a genre thing, you're doing good work but pushing into territory I struggle to say anything constructive about.
TOSHIRO: I haven't heard much Archers of Loaf (I could name one song!) but this is appealingly noisy and scrappy and I enjoyed it a lot. It's the sort of energetic lo-fi style where commenting on the mix would be beside the point, so I'll just say that I liked it a great deal!
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:26 am
furrypedro wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2019 1:54 amBSS: I like Martin's vocals on this one, the register suits his voice well but there's still some signature yelping which keeps things interesting.
Martin wrote the lyrics and the melodies but then couldn't be there to track the vocals so I did them. I didn't mean to do a Martin impression but I guess I slipped into one anyway.Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:51 am
Ha! He won.vowlvom wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:25 am
Balance Lost: After last fight's more straightforward rock song was such a critical and popular failure (I assume, not checked the results).
Yeah, I have to agree honestly. I recorded the drum track first and wanted to do something a little bit longer than my previous entry (Personal Space clocked in at 2:20). I probably should have stopped it earlier, but I didn't really have time to go back and re-record everything. So I sort of tacked on the third verse...which was probably better for me than everyone else cause I'll admit, I can't stand those jerks up the street and wish they'd "Please Move".
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:56 am
Hehe yeah I know, I was just messing around.Æpplês&vØdkã wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:51 amHa! He won.vowlvom wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:25 am
Balance Lost: After last fight's more straightforward rock song was such a critical and popular failure (I assume, not checked the results).
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 1:40 pm
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 6:48 pm
Y'know, as I was writing that I was thinking "is that really Martin? Could be Ken but for the yayayayas". Somehow you didn't cross my mindLunkhead wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:26 amfurrypedro wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2019 1:54 amBSS: I like Martin's vocals on this one, the register suits his voice well but there's still some signature yelping which keeps things interesting.
I'm glad I wasn't 100% wrong sort of. Either way, I do prefer these vocals to the more countrified ones that have been in some recent BSS entries (sorry, new guy!)
I gotta say I thought the length was just right on this one. I've listened to it more than the other songs cos it's my favourite this time and I'm still not bored of it yet. No editing necessary imo. By the way, have you considered making any friends in the local police? If law and order in Atlanta functions on nepotism alone it might do you a favour. Either that or spraypaint your neighbours house pink and wait for someone to burn it down. Too far?Æpplês&vØdkã wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:51 amYeah, I have to agree honestly. I recorded the drum track first and wanted to do something a little bit longer than my previous entry (Personal Space clocked in at 2:20). I probably should have stopped it earlier, but I didn't really have time to go back and re-record everything. So I sort of tacked on the third verse...which was probably better for me than everyone else cause I'll admit, I can't stand those jerks up the street and wish they'd "Please Move".
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 8:05 pm
Ah, if only it were Atlanta and if only I was that particular cop's buddy from high school! As I've mentioned, technically I'm in Tyrone, which still very much has a "small town" vibe. I'd say there's probably only a dozen people or so on the local force in this community...I think I just got the wrong one. Oh well. Now the spraypaint idea sounds satisfying but I think it may renew tensions. So far the only interaction this year has been my mom getting the finger from one of them. Apparently they still haven't figured out it wasn't us.furrypedro wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2019 6:48 pm
By the way, have you considered making any friends in the local police? If law and order in Atlanta functions on nepotism alone it might do you a favour. Either that or spraypaint your neighbours house pink and wait for someone to burn it down. Too far?
Re: Turn left by the three legged dog (Right Town, Wrong Address Reviews)
Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 2:08 pm
Right Town Wrong Address Reviews
EASY VOTES
Berkeley Social Scene
Solid. A little too long.
miscellaneous owl
Love it. Reminds me of Dog by Nat Johnson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWg7-AfoLAY. About twice too long. For example, I would break into the pretty bridge after two verses instead of three.
Shoehorn TC
Charming and fun, the melodic hook at "the taxi was gone" is great, and I like how you looped back to it at the end. Lots of words and could use some tightening up lyrically, but nice job. "Take a few hours" is much less compelling to sit on that nice hook, disappointing after "taxi was gone". Brain had a pop-up? This has great potential, it's a definite almost. I can't help but collaborate uninvited here, apologies:
Well I was in the right town
But I was at the wrong address
I had on my best tie
And you wore that pretty dress
But I didn't care
What you chose to wear
Cuz man I was gone, gone, gone
And I saw you were gone, gone, gone
We were both gone, gone, gone...
Glenn Case
Intimitading. I recognize your songwriting style instantly even after all these years. Sounds like a demo of a great full production. Fun fact: The only song that stresses the first syllable of "address", I think anyway.
BEGRUDGING VOTES
Slither
Pretty nice. I think it could be cleaned up and shortened to something really great. I like it slow like this, but perhaps up the tempo just a little bit? Feels long.
Phlebia
Very cool. I wish I could understand the lyrics because they sound important. The processing on them wrecks it for me a bit, and it sounds like it might be a story song so it's frustrating to not get them. Also more kick boom and bass.
Magnetic Letters
Nice feel, like it a lot, too long. The idea of him using carrots to do these things is decidedly comical, but the song is so sincere sounding. It's a disconnect in intent that works against you.
ALMOST VOTES
Lily Plus Martin
The first song isn't working for me, and I lost interest. I love the female singer's voice though, so things really pick up at 1:45. So I like the second half a lot better.
Pigfarmer Jr
Verse lyrics are too thick and strain to rhyme, needs to be more rock simple, terrific chorus, vocals would work with some processing, and your singing anticipates the beat, needs to be more on the beat to rock more.
Balance Lost
Nice energy and nice tight arrangement, but left me cold, because the melody isn't catchy enough, there are no hooks to remember.
Third Cat
I like the guitar playout more than the actual song. Some interesting chord choices, but more dissonant than it needs to be, partly due to how you've voiced them. For example your E major 7 chord at 0:47 is voiced awkwardly.
NO VOTE
Toshiro
This could all work with less reliance on the lead guitar. Make more of the bass and drums. Unpleasant.
Hot Pink Halo
I found this one a little plodding on the beat, and the tune hung too long around the same note
James Owens
Drums would help a lot, the synth patch is fighting with the guitar, so it's a lot of blaring upper-mid information. Also seems unfinished.
Leppakron
I like the lyric idea, too much processing on the vocals, way too hard to understand the lyrics. Things really get ragged in the bridge, the songs barely stays on the rails. Sounds like there's something decent in here, needs to be pulled out.
The Dormouse Choir
Hmmm... Lots of terrific lyric imagery that keeps it interesting. It would be cool if you collaborated with some musician to corral this into a complete song because I think it could be pretty good. The repetitious nature of what bits of tune you have there makes me think you have a fuller song in your head.
EASY VOTES
Berkeley Social Scene
Solid. A little too long.
miscellaneous owl
Love it. Reminds me of Dog by Nat Johnson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWg7-AfoLAY. About twice too long. For example, I would break into the pretty bridge after two verses instead of three.
Shoehorn TC
Charming and fun, the melodic hook at "the taxi was gone" is great, and I like how you looped back to it at the end. Lots of words and could use some tightening up lyrically, but nice job. "Take a few hours" is much less compelling to sit on that nice hook, disappointing after "taxi was gone". Brain had a pop-up? This has great potential, it's a definite almost. I can't help but collaborate uninvited here, apologies:
Well I was in the right town
But I was at the wrong address
I had on my best tie
And you wore that pretty dress
But I didn't care
What you chose to wear
Cuz man I was gone, gone, gone
And I saw you were gone, gone, gone
We were both gone, gone, gone...
Glenn Case
Intimitading. I recognize your songwriting style instantly even after all these years. Sounds like a demo of a great full production. Fun fact: The only song that stresses the first syllable of "address", I think anyway.
BEGRUDGING VOTES
Slither
Pretty nice. I think it could be cleaned up and shortened to something really great. I like it slow like this, but perhaps up the tempo just a little bit? Feels long.
Phlebia
Very cool. I wish I could understand the lyrics because they sound important. The processing on them wrecks it for me a bit, and it sounds like it might be a story song so it's frustrating to not get them. Also more kick boom and bass.
Magnetic Letters
Nice feel, like it a lot, too long. The idea of him using carrots to do these things is decidedly comical, but the song is so sincere sounding. It's a disconnect in intent that works against you.
ALMOST VOTES
Lily Plus Martin
The first song isn't working for me, and I lost interest. I love the female singer's voice though, so things really pick up at 1:45. So I like the second half a lot better.
Pigfarmer Jr
Verse lyrics are too thick and strain to rhyme, needs to be more rock simple, terrific chorus, vocals would work with some processing, and your singing anticipates the beat, needs to be more on the beat to rock more.
Balance Lost
Nice energy and nice tight arrangement, but left me cold, because the melody isn't catchy enough, there are no hooks to remember.
Third Cat
I like the guitar playout more than the actual song. Some interesting chord choices, but more dissonant than it needs to be, partly due to how you've voiced them. For example your E major 7 chord at 0:47 is voiced awkwardly.
NO VOTE
Toshiro
This could all work with less reliance on the lead guitar. Make more of the bass and drums. Unpleasant.
Hot Pink Halo
I found this one a little plodding on the beat, and the tune hung too long around the same note
James Owens
Drums would help a lot, the synth patch is fighting with the guitar, so it's a lot of blaring upper-mid information. Also seems unfinished.
Leppakron
I like the lyric idea, too much processing on the vocals, way too hard to understand the lyrics. Things really get ragged in the bridge, the songs barely stays on the rails. Sounds like there's something decent in here, needs to be pulled out.
The Dormouse Choir
Hmmm... Lots of terrific lyric imagery that keeps it interesting. It would be cool if you collaborated with some musician to corral this into a complete song because I think it could be pretty good. The repetitious nature of what bits of tune you have there makes me think you have a fuller song in your head.