The Song Fight Bulletin Board

I love a good fairy tale.

Lyric thread: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=11771

Songs posted! I probably won't be very available for the next few days in case anything is amiss with the songs, fyi.

20! Golly! Biggest fight since I Used To Know You Better, right?

I'll be doing a Mythical Creature Listening Party with the Original Flava Coverfight tonight - Monday 5/4 at 9 pm EST. Preshow should be up by 8.

Drop in if you have a few minutes to listen and drop some thoughts in the chat. Working out the kinks in a remote system for this year's Nur Ein!

BoffoYux wrote: ↑

Mon May 04, 2020 8:30 am

I'll be doing a Mythical Creature Listening Party with the Original Flava Coverfight tonight - Monday 5/4 at 9 pm EST. Preshow should be up by 8.

Drop in if you have a few minutes to listen and drop some thoughts in the chat. Working out the kinks in a remote system for this year's Nur Ein!

Listening from my phone as I work from home. Good background music, thanks guys.

Listening and appreciating the music...Thanks !!!

(Later)

Thank you Tommy G... that was fun for sure.
IMHO, the hits were, in no particular order...
Glennny
Sober
Pannacotta Army
Pork Pro Jr.
And, Shrts

Thanks again and reviews later

Hey crumpart, tell Gizo to come back, I miss him.

Anyway, yet another(!) strong batch of songs. We're collectively on a roll this go round!

sleepysilverdoor wrote: ↑

Tue May 05, 2020 4:15 am

Hey crumpart, tell Gizo to come back, I miss him.

Same. I literally just texted him because I miss him. I mean, I didn’t tell him that. I asked if he’d found his keys that were lost six weeks ago, but that’s Australian for “I miss you”.

Oh , while you're on here, I'll just say I really dug your track this week! I think I've mentioned my favorite entries of yours are the ones where you go full art school on us, and this one definitely hit that spot for me.

sleepysilverdoor wrote: ↑

Tue May 05, 2020 4:26 am

Oh , while you're on here, I'll just say I really dug your track this week! I think I've mentioned my favorite entries of yours are the ones where you go full art school on us, and this one definitely hit that spot for me.

Thanks! Would you believe it’s just me, my acoustic guitar, half a second of midi piano and some fake random trumpets pretending to be swans?

crumpart wrote: ↑

Tue May 05, 2020 4:30 am

sleepysilverdoor wrote: ↑

Tue May 05, 2020 4:26 am

Oh , while you're on here, I'll just say I really dug your track this week! I think I've mentioned my favorite entries of yours are the ones where you go full art school on us, and this one definitely hit that spot for me.

Thanks! Would you believe it’s just me, my acoustic guitar, half a second of midi piano and some fake random trumpets pretending to be swans?

Hey, sometimes minimalism yields some good results! Plus fake trumpets should never pretend to be trumpets. Swans are much better.

20 songs again! That's a lot. I'm going to try to review them all, but I'm going to do them in batches:

Amby Moho:
Very promising psychedelic feel in the intro. Feels a little deliberately disjointed but maybe it's too out of synch for me. I appreciate your economy with lyrics. Is this abut Chthulu??? That would be cool, and would fit the style of the music.

Brown Word and the Big Whine: I'm getting a bit of a White Zombie vibe from this one. There are some good grooves in this. I like the lyrics. The vocals seem a bit pitchy to me though which makes things a littler harder to listen to. I like the change up in the choruses. 4:30 though? This is going to be way way too long for me. This breakdown in the bridge isn't doing much for me. Then the transition back to the "normal" stuff, I don't feel like the bridge really built back up to that so well. I think this would be better as a tight 3 minute jam.

Far North Daylight: This one's reminding me of Death Cab for Cutie. Musically it's pretty sparse and minimal, so unfortunately for me that's just making me expect more out of the few elements that are present. The drums are too repetitive and the melodies aren't really hooking me. I think that synth patch at the end sounds a little out of place too. It's got that dynamic filter open/close on it and everything else is very static in terms of dynamics. i don't think the contrast there works for me.

Glennny: The guitars sound great. You're singing so fast it's pretty hard for me to understand what you're saying unfortunately. The jolly bouncy vibe in the music and singing isn't matching up well for me with the lyrics. I don't love your synth lead sound either. The lack of electric lead guitar seems a little weird coming from you. My favorite part may be that minor sounding progression that happens before the solos, and as the outro.

The Gross Tones: I like the glockenspiel but the playing seems a bit random in the intro. I don't think the way the singer stretches out syllables in the verse sounds great. That solo is too soon and too noodly for. I like the moment of slight increase in tension with "The rent is due" but that's where I could do with a face melting guitar solo. Instead the solo is just kind of some held out notes and then some harmonics then it just stops abruptly. Would have been great to really let it rip there.

Hostess Mostess: Good to hear you back! I like the singing. Lyrics are good. The instruments maybe don't sound super great. The playing is solid. Overall just ok for me.

Hot Pink Halo: I like the idea of the drone. I wish the singing had a lot of ambience on it too so the whole thing sounded very ethereal. Something occasionally makes a honk or squawk noise which is distracting. I don't think the tinkly piano fits well either. Maybe if it were in a lower octave it would fit the mood. I wish the singing were a little breathier or drawn out or something too. A change up would have been good 2/3rds of the way through maybe also.

James Owens: As a guy and guitar type song, this one unfortunately doesn't fully hold my interest the whole time. I think there are a lot of good lyrics in there though. Something about the guitar playing and singing isn't quite grabbing me all the time though. Maybe it's too similar the whole time or something.

Paco del Stinko: I like the ominous intro, and the shift into the rocking chorus is satisfying. I wish the solo after the second chorus was longer. I wish something more came in with the third chorus to make it feel bigger than the previous choruses. Like soloing going on during the singing. Fun song though.

Gave the lot a listen through tonight with the girlfriend, and made notes for the both of us. I'll come back through with a more thorough listen and flesh out my notes. Hers are... blunt

Mythical Creature Reviews...

Another 20 songs... I’m doin’ this like Lunk. Just a few at a time. That way I try to stay fresh...not snarky. There are some really good songs. I listened to Buffo’s deal the other night and really impressive.

Ok, here we go...

Far North Daylight - Pleasant composition. The thing is, it’s just ok. I found myself wandering away while listening. I ran the song three times and just never really connected. However, the horns at the outro did grab my attention!!
Overall, a nice effort. Maybe a little more musical excitement is needed. Lyrics were ok, but I would have benefited from having a lyric sheet to follow. May have been more interesting.

Pork Producer Jr - I like the song. The chorus is the strong feature. Perhaps an instrumental solo at either the 2:09 mark before the bridge or, after at 2:46, would strengthen the song. May balance the entry so as to not lean on the chorus, too much.
(PPJr. I just listened to BSS entry. Their instrumental after the bridge (1:41) is exactly what I wanted in your song.)

Berkeley Social Scene - Another strong entry from the boys on the left coast!!
Very nice intro. I like the seamless flow from the verse to the chorus. Keeps everything connected. Really like how the bass drives the song...Good job Bryan!!
Vocals are strong on this entry, Solid instrumental after the bridge. Really good...
Red and I give this Two Thumbs Up !!!

Also, thanks for identifying the players in the song....maybe you’ve done that forever, but I just noticed....I know, slow me !!

Paco del Stinko - Ok PdS, you know I look forward to all your entries and really never am disappointed. I’m sure a lot of ‘Songfighters’ share this feeling.
However, this time I’m really struggling to find a groove to latch on to with this song.
The drip, drip, drip at the start is ok and actually compliments the opening verse.
Then the chorus... seems like Frank Turner and The Cowsills meet at the crossroads. Let’s drop The Cowsills and amp up Frank!!
The lyrics are cool, especially “...electric bed springs and broken collarbones”
Not bad, but IMHO, could have been much stronger.

pigfarmer Jr. - Great intro. Love the Iron Maiden vibe at 1:31 and the instrumental following, especially, the drums.(more please)
A suggestion...Amp up the drums, reduce the strikes to eliminate the muddy beat in some spots and you’ll have an FM radio hit..... except for the lyrics.
Read a little (or, a lot) of Neal Peart and rewrite the lyrics, re-record the song and send me a copy for my rec-room jukebox. PLEASE !! (roktot@gmail.com). Thanks !!!

James Owens - Hmmmmm.... Ok James, you have officially harshed my banana bread buzz !! However, on that note, who are ‘They’ who ‘Say’ and why should we believe them. Maybe where ‘they are’ is just too good to share... So, ‘they’ make up boogie men to keep the tourists away. Kinda like I do when anyone asks about my island....” Oh, it’s terrible....hurricanes and all....stay away!”
Hey James... smoke a joint, take a pill, whiskey, wine, beer or, do as I do...find a good partner and kick back. Write a few love songs or, at least something about monkeys, meatgrinders or Suitcases !!
And James, please don’t take this too seriously. After all, you probably have tongue firmly planted in cheek !!!!
Cya,
Toby

More later...

In order of listening, did a marathon big listen and it was quite enjoyable. I'm working on giving a little more constructive criticism since some people indicated this is helpful for them. Overall, there were a lot of very cleaver and well-rendered tunes, very imaginative. I really liked this prompt.

Sober - Nice strings, the playing is flawless, I am really admiring the technical mastery. Well-produced, all elements balanced. This is a toe-tapper with a compelling story, and I liked the "will your heart break on a wave" line. No complaints, this is great.

toby roktot - Very pretty song overall, the sparse arrangement really works. I'd only say the guitar was rather louder than the vox and seemed panned hard to the left. The lyrics really capture the mythical creature concept, which always hints at a sense of longing.

Glennny - Toe-tapping, lilting melody. I wish I could understand the lyrics a little better because they sound intriguing. Nice guitar work and the sudden appearance of the synth as a solo instrument is refreshing. I like how you sing "myth-i-cal creat-ure"

The Gross Tones - Has a tropical feel at the intro. I like the music at the verse with the rising guitar toward the end. Great tone on that solo. Interesting take on the mythical creature concept. Bridges are tough (I found out this round), I can take or leave this one. But the rest was pretty solid.

James Owens - I consider myself a James Owens fan, so I like this right away. Old-fashioned ballad, something that one might hear in an inn off a medieval highway played by a seasoned bard. Another one with sparse arrangement that works. I can take some guitar notes from you and toby roktot, as I always consider a naked guitar a daring prospect, due to my own bad habits and ham-handed approach to most things musical.

Far North Daylight - I'm immediately pulled into the story. But like the people in the song, I will not be finding out what is going to really shake out, which is sort of how it's going these days. I'm a sucker for horns, even canned ones, so the sudden appearance of one at the end of the song is welcome.

Pork Producer Jr. - That whoo-ey sound in the beginning is cool - will it be back? I like the vocal accompaniment. Another nicely done acoustic guitar for this round. Ah, there's the whoo to see us out. Pretty.

Hot Pink Halo - I always like how your songs offer something different than the usual fare. I appreciate your voice as the focal point of the song, it's so distinctive and endearing. The less-is-more approach is also well-applied here. Additionally, I like this story of the white swans.

Hostess Mostess - I'm a sucker for falsetto, so points for that. The layering in of elements builds the song and draws in the listener. Nice chord progressions and vocal layering. It has a retro feel I really enjoy and I like the words.

Phlebia - The most aggressive song of the fight I've listened to so far, which is very refreshing. I can't understand all the words terribly well but I do like the vocal treament quite a bit - I'm a big fan of stuff like that. The lead keys are tad too loud. The many odd aural effects are cool and points for psychedelic jam outro.

Sweeney Toad - All the sounds in this song are scary, and I like that. I like the vox on this a lot more than some of the other entries you've had. The chorus (?) has a great groove and delivery.

shrts - Ah now this rocks, and gloriously short. I like everything about this song.

Pig Farmer Jr. - Hear hear on the lyrics. However the vox are bit loud in the mix. Really decent distorted guitar - whenever I try distortion I get mud, so I'm very envious of this nice tone. That last part kicks ass.

Pannacotta Army - Large, full sound at the outset. Clearly decipherable lyrics I can relate to. Nice whistling! Is it real? If so, sounds great. This is really well-recorded. The boing-y synth is a little surprisingly weird, but I like weird surprises. Good use of dynamics at the end.

Tim Hinkle - The electronic-sounding percussion (while cool-sounding) is a little loud and distracting from what sounds to be a compelling story opening. I really like your voice and how the song changes textures.

WreckdoM - Took a more organic approach this go round (though I can't divulge our patented songwriting techniques) by just slapping down a decisive bassline that drives the entire song. My only regret is the too-loud saxophone, but I am missing my friend and occasional WreckdoMite saxophonist Pete and was subconsciously wishing he would lay down some honks for us. What many songs of the fight don't address is that the advent of a mythical creature usually involves some manner of violence, but we've taken up the mantle here and rounded out the fight in that respect.

Paco del Stinko - The tension builds.... and then those unmistakable vocals. Nice burst into full song. I'm definitely a Paco fan so no real complaints here. As always, great bass work, vocal accompaniments, and chord progressions. That guitar popping in is ballsy as hell.

Berkeley Socal Scene - Ah, nice opening. Minor key sounds good on you. Great bass work. Now that's a bridge. Really killer tone on that guitar solo.

Amby Moho - I appreciate the application of a far-out vocal treatment, but I am having a little difficulty making out the words. The psychedelicness of the overall arrangement is an effect I appreciate, though overall the song sort of bimbles along without leading some place particular.

Brown Word and the Big Whine - I really wanted to go for an aggressive bassline and I feel like I achieved this. I come from Wisconsin which is full of mythical creatures so seeing a bigfoot walking from some highway convenience store in the middle of nowhere is not only a possibility, it probably happens all the time. I'm hung up on bridges this round because of my own bridge-envy - I admit, this didn't pan out quite as I'd have liked, but once I was in, I was too heavily invested to make some critical changes. I did learn after the fact that sometimes letting go is the best course of action, but during, I was sort of in the thrall of a sasquatch-ESP dream. That aside, I quite enjoyed creating this.

Good to be back! My notes, with color commentary from my girlfriend transcribed and lightly edited by me to protect songfighter feelings. Listened again later on headphones to flesh out my notes.

Amby Moho: Quirky, toy guitar groove right out the gate. Feeling a strong Radiohead You and Whose Army vibe here. You've done a good job of managing the off-beat swing/straight straddle here. When the panned drums comes in, I feel even more Beck. As far as productive notes, I don't know what I can add here. I don't know much about stoner groove music. I wish it was more groove and less stoner. I do appreciate the restraint in not going full art noise, though some people (a lot of them songfighters) like that I guess. Bottom line: While not my cup of tea, this is interesting and shows skillful intent. Songfight can always use that.

GF: What makes a song "lo-fi?" Is that lo-fi?

Berkeley Social Scene: Cross "complex time signature" off the songfight checklist. Well-executed. Nice, interesting bassline. Vocal is a well-constructed ensemble for 95% of the song - a few extra minutes of volume automation on the spots where unison diverges to harmony would have kept it tight and cohesive. Also, automate out bgv consonants that don't line up with the lead if you can't redo the takes later. Maybe bring the right acoustic down slightly. Am I hearing elastic audio artifacts? Felt like during the acoustic break I could hear some stretch. The lead guitar feels timid, apprehensive. If you're gonna have Santana tone and lines, be confident and nail every attack. Would love to hear this done with hammond, wurlitzer, rhodes, etc instead of synths. Would probably sound more like Bob Schneider and the Scabs. Solid as always.

GF: I liked it. It was a bit nostalgic. Made me think of some band I listened to in high school

Brown Word and the Big Whine: Bass down a tad, give those drums room to remain big and groovy. Too many repeats of the intro - 30 seconds before first vocal is too long. Kind of Geddy Lee at first. Drum track could use more variation. Vocal feels too dry, and lacks oomph. This suffers from the trademark songfight "singing quietly to avoid bothering mom/roommate/neighbors, but growling a little bit to sound like singing loudly" vocal sound. This ought to be belted. The middle section is too Wreckdom for a non-Wreckdom entry. The "aah" vocal is pitchy and weird. Make it a proper middle 8 and get out. All the ingredients for a good meal are here, but the recipe needs work. Or some kind of metaphor like that.

GF: I like the unique voice and the transitions. It does need some editing (she has a film background, so she means "cutting sections out"), but for it to be truly great it needed some molly (she has never done molly)

Far North Daylight: Very Deathcab, I think maybe Soul Meets Body is what I'm thinking of. Bring one of the vocal takes way down. Both of them in fact, but one much more than the other. The vocal levels are kind of all over the place - needs some time automating the volume if you don't want to compress (you should compress!). Get a pop filter. Synth outtro way way way too long. Give us 8 bars and get out. The top end of the audio spectrum is pretty empty. You have a couple of hat samples here in there that cut through - fill it with vocal sparkle, some subtle synth flourishes, something. There's a lot of promise here; keep at it.

GF: You can listen to it again. I'm really good at tuning things out

Glennny: Groove is very "royalty free corporate-friendly" minus ukulele and handclaps. Vocal performance needs more oomph. When you do the staccato quarters with the bass and guitar, I want the drums to acknowledge it. Chorus is weird: The lead vocal delivery goes Disney silly, and the harmonies are... "royalty free corporate-friendly." Which isn't bad per se, but it doesn't seem to fit. Do more takes or adjust your autotuner to get rid of some of those artifacts. Wayyy too much instrumental break. If you're gonna use a hammond patch for your bass, hammond players are gonna wanna hear some actual hammond playing. Bummer. When you do the "anticipated downbeat" thing in the outtro solo, the kick needs to hit along with the chords every time it happens, or it feels like a mistake. Too much tail silence; we don't need a full ten seconds of digital reverb. Potential here.

GF: Adorable. It sounds like it should be on the soundtrack of "Away We Go." It was great background noise; wouldn't want to see that performed live though

The Gross Tones: Very strong opening vocal line. Voice feels very Steve Earl or Robert Earl Keen. I don't mind the lazy affect of the vocal necessarily, but there are places where it's pulled off well, and places where it's uninspired and gets a bit pitchy. Robert Earl is a master at this - check him out! The guitar noodling is passable, but really doesn't fit the indy-pop vibe I feel everywhere else. Bass needs boosting and compression. You may not like to hear this, but what you've written here is a country song. This is a good thing! You evoke slice-of-life imagery in a way that reminds me of Turnpike Troubadours, Jason Isbell, or Tyler Childers. Embrace it. Just trade the glockenspiel and driven guitar for a fiddle and slide. Really though, do your thing. There's potential here, and it's always good to hear something that sounds like an honest-to-god full band on songfight.

GF: I don't have any strong feelings about it. I didn't love it

Hostess Mostess: Lean into the Bowie feel more, please. I want absurd pastiche and stronger delay. Like, lean into the breaks between falsetto, head, and chest voice. Put a few more layers of bgv and bring them up. Rhythm issues in some of the instrumental tracks, vocals pitchy from time to time. This needs some kind of driving, cohesive element that brings everything together and moves us through the section changes. The stabby synth bit at 1:22 could have been it. Bass is lost; this craves a fat, melodic bassline. Overall this song has a ridiculous amount of potential, and I think you're more than capable of executing on it. As it is, you have a songwriting demo here. It's good, but I want to hear the master-level track.

GF: Maybe he can write commercials. (Me: why?) He's only good for a minute (she was reading about Sigfried and Roy during your song)

Hot Pink Halo: The vocal performance needs a great deal of work. You have moments of Lucinda Williams or Kirsty MacColl, and those moments are nice. However, there are a lot of missed intervals, pitch issues, and places where a late breath trips an entry. To be clear, this is a time and effort issue, not an underlying vocal talent/capacity problem. I don't mind the plodding drone of the synth wall, though I do think the bass needs to be confident, powerful, and perfectly aligned with what the vocal is doing. And yeah, ditch the trumpet thing. Let your words evoke imagery - being literal is corny. This is classic songfight. Please stick around and get better with the rest of us.

GF: That person should lay off the ganja

James Owens: Very strong Christy Moore energy. The guitar sounds hesitant throughout, and I'm not a fan of the muddy, plugged in tone. Vocal needs work. You have the tools to do multi-track recording and editing, but this is a solo-guy-strummy song with a few extra layers of strummy bits. If you're going to put the effort into layering more onto that base, make it worth the effort! Give me parts that have purpose. Things that fill the space sonically and structurally. There's a song that appeals to me greatly under here, but I crave more in the execution.

GF: I didn't think it was bad. It inspired scenes of an old western film

Paco del Stinko: Intro too long. Not a fan of the Jonathan Davis impression. This the backing vocal that Hostess Mostess needed. Man, this is bizarre. Lead vocal gets buried a lot. Unquantized triggers? There's a lot of push and pull in the tempo. The electric guitar is way too thin and clean for this. We need wall-of-sound distortion. As it is, the bass and bgv are doing most of the work of contextualizing the lead vocal. Big heavy guitars and a more oi-style unison bgv would be very fun and much more cohesive. Maybe HiM is more of a better target? I know you have the skills to turn this into something really good, you just have to decide what you want it to be.

GF: Is it over? Like anyone who has submitted, his vocals could benefit from some "passion behind his pipes"

The Pannacotta Army: Nylon strings and whistles, here we go. I Fought the Law? Is that the song I'm thinking of? Maybe a little Born to Run? This is gonna kill me. Anyway, cut a lot of mids on that nylon string guitar. That might solve some of the mix issues. More oomph in the vocals. The backing vocal style feels too doo-wop. The drop chorus at the end was the best chorus. Cut the bridge altogether, do the drop chorus, and repeat with a final big chorus. Also prefer the clean guitar to the fuzzface. A lot of good pieces here, need work tying it all together.

GF: Slightly PTSD'd from this one time I stumbled upon a 70's hippie jesus band

Phlebia: More Deathcab groove! This one feels like I Will Possess Your Heart. Cool, you found the "submarine" delay preset. This is a looooong time to spend vamping on one chord. How many Jim Morrison posters do you have up in your recording space? You have the tools to make an interesting soundscape. Now give me an interesting song. Not much else I can say.

GF: It sounded a lot cleaner that the other stuff, but I just don't get it

Pigfarmer Jr: Guitar vamp feels swingy, makes the straight drums feel weird. Vocal too out front and dry, would sound good with a bit of tube burn. Might try doubling the chorus vocal with guitar to thicken it up a bit. It's a bit thin as is. I agree with the sentiments expressed, but I feel it's a bit on the nose. Could have used a few more takes on the guitar jam opening, and doubling it would have helped smooth out some of the rough edges. You have like three bridge sections in this tune. Pick one. Too many parts structurally - simplify a bit; this would punch through much better at 2:30 than 3:30.

GF: Thank you, next. I think I have a little bit of a headache

Pork Producer Jr: Fun Earthbound-esque synth, a bit hot in the mix though. Acoustics sound great. On the group vocals, get your ending consonants together, or cut them out. Verses overall very plodding and uninspired. Opening descending chorus line good! Minor iii is an even weaker bridge move than a minor ii, and doesn't provide enough of a contrast to be interesting rather than dragging. Bass and drums up a bit, and acoustic down. Swap the synth pad for a hammond and we're off to the races. Some fun stuff here. Would like to see you razor-focused on one track versus two very different tracks. Get your vocal takes down as cleanly as your acoustic and you'll be doing really well.

GF: (She didn't like the lyrics)

shrts: Harvey Danger feel! Vocal up like 2db. Guitars sound perfect. Feel like the bass could use a touch of clarity - maybe a boost at ~400hz and another at ~2k? Congrats on being the only song this week that is too short, though I like short songs. Don't have much else in the way of notes - you've nailed just about everything about this.

GF: If I was drunk I would dance to that, and that's exactly how long I would dance for

Sober: Following shrts, this sounds muddy! I definitely needed more vocal takes here, and should have done some harmony work beyond the 'ahhs.' Happy with the mandolin work, and I feel pretty good about my first recording project in two years. Dobro is really hard. I should bite the bullet and pay for pitch correction software. Definitely had some writer's block issues with this title, but I'm really happy I forced myself to push through it and get something done for this. The song itself isn't something I'll play forever, but I think I've found my sound. Looking forward to participating more frequently.

GF: 10/10 would bang that guy

Sweeny Toad: Starfinger? Seriously is this Starfinger? Very very good flow by songfight standards. Bring the vocal up a bit and compress more. Would like to hear more dynamism in the beat, particularly for the hook. Flesh it out with more melodic components than just the bass and vocal. Yeah, generally more work on the beat to make individual elements more impactful, and to support the vocal. So much potential here.

GF: I can't explain why but I hated it

Tim Hinkle: Tears for Fears or something here. Not a fan of the melodic kick beyond the instrumental hook. This doesn't know what it wants to be. Cut the lows and mids on that acoustic. Or just point the mic at the bridge instead of the soundhole. Also use a thicker pick. Some odd panning choices that stand out on headphones. This feels like 80s send-up, but it also feels like it's taking itself too seriously. Nothing here is particularly bad, but it's not very inspiring. Would like to hear you on a song where you've nailed everything.

GF: I think I yawned twice

toby roktot: I hate plugged in acoustic. I won't say any more about it. Figure out a click track solution; the tempo and rhythm is a mess - did you record this all together and in one take? Unpan the vocal and guitar. If need be, do the stereo phase trick on the guitar, and put the vocal center. The throwaway spoken vocal line should be thrown away or sung. Very much feels like the guy in his 50s who plays the Thursday happy hour at the local dive. Would love to see a more deliberate approach to this. Aim for Chris Smithers.

GF: Did he record that in one take? (Me: I think so, yes) I like the simplicity of it. It's fine

Wreckdom: Reliably Wreckdom. Feeling very Joy Division Disorder here. Would like a version with an upper-register punk-yell vocal. For some reason the "canary, opossum" line makes me think of Chemical Warfare. I won't offer mix notes - y'all know what you're about, and I wouldn't want you to change <3

GF: It's called songfight, not songsuicide

At first listen, shrts is the clear winner for me and the GF. And after listening 5-6x to every song, I'd put Amby Moho and Berkeley Social Scene in the next tier. No outright garbage! Overall a very good fight, though it did take a few listens for that to become apparent.

Sober wrote: ↑

Sun May 10, 2020 3:07 pm

Phlebia: More Deathcab groove! This one feels like I Will Possess Your Heart. Cool, you found the "submarine" delay preset. This is a looooong time to spend vamping on one chord. How many Jim Morrison posters do you have up in your recording space? You have the tools to make an interesting soundscape. Now give me an interesting song. Not much else I can say.

GF: It sounded a lot cleaner that the other stuff, but I just don't get it

You're probably glad I resisted the urge to jam on that bassline for 10 minutes, eh?

sleepysilverdoor wrote: ↑

Sun May 10, 2020 3:36 pm

Sober wrote: ↑

Sun May 10, 2020 3:07 pm

Phlebia: More Deathcab groove! This one feels like I Will Possess Your Heart. Cool, you found the "submarine" delay preset. This is a looooong time to spend vamping on one chord. How many Jim Morrison posters do you have up in your recording space? You have the tools to make an interesting soundscape. Now give me an interesting song. Not much else I can say.

GF: It sounded a lot cleaner that the other stuff, but I just don't get it

You're probably glad I resisted the urge to jam on that bassline for 10 minutes, eh?

You wouldn't be the first songfighter to do so. Thank you for your restraint, I guess

Sober wrote: ↑

Sun May 10, 2020 3:07 pm

Sweeny Toad: Starfinger? Seriously is this Starfinger? Very very good flow by songfight standards. Bring the vocal up a bit and compress more. Would like to hear more dynamism in the beat, particularly for the hook. Flesh it out with more melodic components than just the bass and vocal. Yeah, generally more work on the beat to make individual elements more impactful, and to support the vocal. So much potential here.

GF: I can't explain why but I hated it

I am not Starfinger but I heard his song a few fights ago and he is awesome! Also, your GF's review is my sig now, ty!

Sober wrote...

toby roktot: I hate plugged in acoustic. I won't say any more about it. Figure out a click track solution; the tempo and rhythm is a mess - did you record this all together and in one take? Unpan the vocal and guitar. If need be, do the stereo phase trick on the guitar, and put the vocal center. The throwaway spoken vocal line should be thrown away or sung. Very much feels like the guy in his 50s who plays the Thursday happy hour at the local dive. Would love to see a more deliberate approach to this. Aim for Chris Smithers.

GF: Did he record that in one take? (Me: I think so, yes) I like the simplicity of it. It's fine

I like your girlfriend ...
If I were 20 years younger....I’d be 50 . So, thanks for the backhanded compliment.
You seem to know a lot of technical stuff regarding the recording process, or want us to believe you do. I figure it’s the former.
Yes, I record all together since I just don’t like the disjointed feeling of all the separate takes. Been there and had some other people doing all that. Very boring , to me anyway.
Sometimes I do a live take, just for fun, and submit that. So, yeah, sometimes I do play at dives...fun, actually.
The pan stuff I kinda learned on this site. Someone once suggested to not have everything in the middle. Makes sense.
The amped acoustic is a new Takamine my sweet wife gifted me a few weeks ago. Before, I used an Ovation with an aftermarket pickup. Someone suggested I use a mic for the guitar once before so, that will be tried on my next entry.
Now for the timing.....I know but, I have an excuse....I’m a drummer first and that’s it. I beat on the guitar like it’s a drum and when I do not use a click track, I speed up...a lot.
But you know, sometimes I want to do that to actually make the song go where it should, imho.
All in all, thanks for the review. I’ll certainly think about your suggestions. Not sure I’m smart enough to use that info, but I’ll give it a shot.
Thanks
Toby