The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Brace Yourself
Rone Rivendale

Verse 1
You want the best of me
You want to play the game
Be careful what you ask for
Your ass might hit the floor
Squash you like a cock roach
If you dare to approach

Chorus
Brace yourself
Cuz here I come
Raining from above beat you just because

Verse 2
Don't start talking crap
If you can't take this slap
You're the one provoking
You're the one misspoking
I'll call it self defense
But I will not relent

Chorus 2
Brace yourself
Cuz here I come
Raining from above beat you just because

Brace Yourself
by Sweeney Toad

Brace yourself I’ve placed your wealth in crypto time capsules
We got no beef these rhymes I speak are simply fine cattle
Find unicorn saddles in the attic it’s magic in fact
Encounter sea sirens enlightened with panic attacks

Brace yourselves stock your shelves with plungers for plumbing
Toilets overflow afterglow of the second coming
I’ve got rhymes so sweet I’m practically pissing out honey
I was named best rapper by the magazine Fishing and Hunting
I’m the best I’m the best, I’m the best
Got to get it off my chest, I’m the best
I’m the best I’m the best, I’m the best
Brace yourself I’m a mess, I’m trying my best

There was quite a big drop at the quick stop on lip gloss
All of a sudden everyone wanted to kiss cops
All of the husbands did something to piss rocks
Kidney stones and moans from their cis cocks
Sit tight in the train station waiting on a staycation
Watching DVDs of Three’s Company on a PlayStation
You are craving the touch of a make up brush
Drinking 4locos taking photos of your tongue soaked in thrush
Hush my darling you’re getting vax card carded
Immune to inflammation explanation flame retardant
Skid marks in the park from a bank heist getaway
Sativa in the Prius hybrid is the same high anyway

Brace yourselves stock your shelves with plungers for plumbing
Toilets overflow afterglow of the second coming
I’ve got rhymes so sweet I’m practically pissing out honey
I was named best rapper by the magazine Fishing and Hunting
I’m the best I’m the best, I’m the best
Got to get it off my chest, I’m the best
I’m the best I’m the best, I’m the best
Brace yourself I’m a mess, I’m trying my best

Cooking up something good custard filled crab cakes
Delight at the sight of mustard in the grill with my pancakes
I can’t stand fakes I only like real photo holograms
Check my trajectory on my go pro follow cam
I know my flow is the bottom can in the trash bin pyramid
If you think new vaccines are cash in experiments
Keep chewing that spearmint gum your dumb and gullible
I’ll smash your colorful candy land board because it’s fun and wonderful
Some kind of uncomfortable is a good descriptor of the universe
Awkward like your dead sister dragged behind a scooter hearse
Gawked at by the AIDS Walk passersby
Ancient alien impatient scaly skin pray us bastards die, goodbye

Brace yourselves stock your shelves with plungers for plumbing
Toilets overflow afterglow of the second coming
I’ve got rhymes so sweet I’m practically pissing out honey
I was named best rapper by the magazine Fishing and Hunting
I’m the best I’m the best, I’m the best
Got to get it off my chest, I’m the best
I’m the best I’m the best, I’m the best
Brace yourself I’m a mess, I’m trying my best

Brace Yourself - Stacking Theory

We never thought that you would survive
Never thought you'd make it through the night
We had to leave to save our own lives
Yeah, we never planned to leave any one of us behind

Nobody expected to see
Any evidence of me
Praise my ingenuity
I can make it through and escape with a disco beat

Brace yourself
The nights are gonna get darker
Brace Yourself
The days are gonna get harder
Brace yourself

It's mathematically possible
Nobody wants to talk about it
We can do it but we're gonna have to brace

Brace yourself
The nights are gonna get darker
Brace Yourself
The days are gonna get harder
Brace yourself
Getting away from Mars
Brace yourself
The nights are gonna get darker
Brace Yourself
The days are gonna get harder
Brace yourself
Brace!

Brace Yourself
Lichen Throat

Let’s agree not to go to war;
We’ll sign the Kellogg-Briand Pact.
Violence is what we abhor;
We’ll use diplomacy and tact
To set a brand-new paradigm,
And the nations will join a league.
There will be peace in our time,
No fighting, no blitzkrieg.
Brace yourself, brace yourself
For 1939.
Brace yourself, brace yourself
For the crossing of the Rhine.

Lock everyone in a great big House;
And lock the thoughts out of your head.
They believed what you espoused,
And they followed where you led.
Choose your future, choose your face,
But the voice says, “Pull pin seven.”
Everything’s in its proper place,
Still the voice screams “Pull pin seven!”
Brace yourself, brace yourself
As the thoughts come flooding back.
Brace yourself, brace yourself
For the unforeseen attack.

Napoleon and Alexander I
Shook hands on a boat in Tilsit.
War to peace, suddenly reversed,
And treaties of goodwill writ.
Split the world, west and east,
And all will dwell in peace.
But set the table for the wedding feast
With the Austrian Empire’s niece.
Brace yourself, brace yourself
When diplomacy is spurned.
Brace yourself, brace yourself
As all of Moscow burns.

harp G. capo 7

ole wrangler ask “ you ready son?” C
As he set the rope ‘round my rosin glove. E
Nodded. I guess I am. Am
Settled on the bull with a little shove G

Slapped my back stepped off the gate
said the clowns will help
gripped the rope tighter as he said
Good luck and brace yourself

That damn bull got me down in a well. Am
I was in trouble that much I could tell. E
Woke ..busted up ribs and more. Am
I swore off rodeo G. then I limped out the C. door.


Leaning on the bar in Bozeman
Sippin’ an ice cold beer
Big loud mouth pushes me away
Said make room for my boys here

Knew better …red mist came down
Grabbed loud mouth turned him around
“Brace yourself Boy” he spat at me
He dropped as his groin hit my knee

As the big man lay
moaning on the floor
Knew it was time to leave
I walked out the door. . C. E. C. E.


nurse said everyone’s doing fine
come right in and see
I saw my wife’s loving eyes
“come meet your son “ looks like me”

I held the little guy close
Ask my wife “you settle on a name”
She said time to change your life
Brace yourself, things’ll never be the same

Inst…

Throughout my life I’ve had my share of thrills. C. Strum
Broken dreams and too many bills. E
paid ‘em all with my sweat and blood. Am
Thanks to the lord up above. G. Pick

Got a great woman loves me dear
Grabs my ass when I walk near
Makes me laugh at everything
Gives me a reason to sing

As I lay my head. Am
Down to sleep.
Pray to the lord. E
Keep her free
And give all the hardships to me. G

I’ll brace myself. C. E. Am. G. C………

Brace Yourself
My Social Uniform

You better brace yourself
You better brace yourself
You better

Watch Yourself
You don't know what it means to be free
Now the future's ours
We can't escape reality

So many crimes, so many signs
So many times I refused to read between the lines
And now I wanna fan the flames

You better brace yourself
The fire is burning
You better brace yourself
Tides are turning
You better

Check yourself
Don't say I didn't warn you
Now that the future's ours
It's time we see this all the way through

How many times have I resigned
To just dismiss what I read between the lines
And I can feel the heat from the flames

You better brace yourself
The fire is burning
You better brace yourself
Tides are turning

Brace Yourself
See-Man-Ski

you told you me you were on
another quiet run
and failed to see the point in going on and on
you told me nothing more
but said it all at once
and every time I made my move
It always set your off

So brace yourself for it

I tried the open door
failing to secure
flowers on the table
not whiskey on the floor
the plan was to switch
bottles for a healthy fridge
but all this junk
meant there was nowhere left to store

So brace yourself for it

you've only got yourself to blame

Brace Yourself
Pigfarmer Jr

[Members of a wedding party have reportedly been killed by a drone strike!]

Don't want to hear the words you say
You lie at night, you lie all day
You betray the oath you swore
You dropped the bombs then bought some more

Brace yourself for what's to come
There's no way that all this shit will ever be undone

Go fuck yourselves, you stupid sons of bitches
Go fuck yourselves, you stupid sons of bitches

[It's hospital in northern Afghanistan came under repeated direct attack from a U.S. AC130 gunship.]

You have no spine, you go along
You always vote to drop the bomb
Churches here, weddings there
It's overseas so you don't care

Brace yourself for what's to come
There's no way that all this shit will ever be undone

Go fuck yourselves, you stupid sons of bitches
Go fuck yourselves, you stupid sons of bitches

[As many as ten civilians, including up to seven children, were tragically killed in that strike. Moreover, we now assess that it was unlikely that the vehicle and those who died were associated with ISIS-K or were a direct threat to U.S. forces.]

Nine hundred bases overseas
Wasting money we all need
Close those bases, close them all
Bring them home, vote for withdrawal

Brace yourself for what's to come
There's no way that all this shit will ever be undone

Go fuck yourselves, you stupid sons of bitches
Go fuck yourselves, you stupid sons of bitches
Go fuck yourselves, you stupid sons of bitches

[Up to seven children, were tragically killed in that strike]
[A U.S. AC130 gunship]
[A drone strike!]

Brace Yourself - Paco del Stinko

Brace yourself for what's coming
You can't hide and you ain't running
The experiment is a failure and the lab is on fire
Rats have chewed all of the insulation off of the wire

You better brace yourself
You're gonna need the help

Smell the smoke hear the crackle of flames
From ocean to ocean and across the great plains

So hold on tight and don't lose your grip
Everything's tipping and you hope it don't flip
Well you try to walk steady so that you don't slip

Maybe the tunnel has light at the end
But that's a ways off there's darkness 'round the bend

Brace Yourself
Lyrics by Duncan Martin, April Howard, Chelsea Martin, Eli Howard

**Best sung with a forced and unconvincing country and western accent**

F C G Am
Old Texas Jones was a-sittin' in the river bed
F C G Am
Old Texas Jones was a-sittin' in in the middle of the river bed
Dm Am G Am
It was a DRYYYY summer (in the riverbed just a chewin on hay)
Dm Am E7 Am
'Long came a flash flood and swept Old Jones away

Chorus:
Fmaj7 C
Oh he was dead, dead,
G Am
Not much to be said
Fmaj7 C
Oh he was dead, dead
E7 A7
Old Texas Jones was dead....

Current warshed his overalls and cotton underwear
It warshed them right clean off his back, and the bugs from in his hair
It was the FIIIIIRST time they'd seen daylight since he left the store
But old Texas Jones wouldn't wear them duds no more...

That flood done drug him clean and clear on down to San Antone....
Spat him out like bakkie juice at the first place he’d called home.
A plaster shack just out the back of a tack shop by the tracks
Where the train takes men with it’s clickety clack but the river brings em back.

Chorus:
Fmaj7 C
Oh he was dead, dead,
G Am
Not much to be said
Fmaj7 C
Oh he was dead, dead
E7 A7
That’s what the paper read

D7 A7
Brace yourself the preacher sooth, the wrath of god is near
From Lubbock down to Huston ye heathens ought to fear
From the Brazos past the Rio Grande, Lone Star Born or Mexican
E7
No Ararat to land your ark so best just sip your beer

Chorus

Old Texas Jones was a-found by the river bed
Old Texas Jones was a-found by the side of the river bed
His Patsy-Lou she cried and cried' (The man she loved had up and died)
In his pockets just a silver coin and a soggy crust of bread

These prairie fields have sorry yields but sure are easy tilled
‘N if you get a bank loan boy, them wells is easy drilled
The Waltons when they come to town them parking lots is easy paved
But when your love gets swept away, it’s hard to dig his grave

Oh he was dead, dead
At least it took his dread
He was dead, dead
Ol Texas jones was dead

Brace yourself / against the ladder
'Cause I'm going up / To take the Christmas lights down.
Brace yourself / 'cause if I splatter,
Well it won't be pretty / when I hit the ground
'Cause I've put on some weight
Since we did this last
And my reactions
Aren't as as fast.
So brace yourself 'cause we both know
How badly this all could go.

Get yourself / some bottled water
'Cause I'll be fixing / the faucet now
And we both know / I prob'ly shouldn't oughta
Because bottom line / I really don't know how
And I don't have the tools
And I don't have the skills
And I'll probably bail
When the water spills.
So get yourself / some bottled H2O
'Cause there's lots of ways this could go.

You handed me a big long honey-do list
But my super powers don't include this
I know you won't be happy 'til you're totally pissed
But I'll give it a shot, if you insist

Brace yourself / the new year's upon us
Brace yourself / because, based on the past
It might go well / but there's no promise
And the celebration / pro'lly won't last
And the load will become
Too much to carry
Somewhere in the middle of
January
So brace yourself / 'cause here it goes
And where we're headed, nobody knows.

Brace Yourself

The Mellfire Trifecta

Scratch that out
Better cut that line
Soften your stance
This is not the time
To show your cards
State your goals
Present a plan
It’s better no one knows

But if they do
Plant some doubt
Straddle every issue
Til it’s all played out
Check that wind
Which way’s it blowing?
Just react to what the polls
Are showing

Brace yourself
We got a chance at four more years

Don’t be shy
You can brag
Expect a bump
From the covid drag
They don’t boo you anymore
At Raptors’ games
I think they know the score

Stay the course
Let them talk
Your lack of knowledge is
Your calling card
They have questions
You can’t answer
Don’t engage
Cos you’re a lousy dancer

Brace yourself
So much pain, so many tears
Brace yourself
We got a chance at four more years

Brace Yourself
by WreckdoM

I'm looking in the refrigerator
There’s only mold and rot
I'm flipping through the TV stations
A parade of diseased thoughts
I've read every magazine end to end
Every record is played out
Scrolling through social media
Until my fucking head falls off
I don’t know, I don't know
There's gunfighting in the streets
One acronym hates another
Hot takes every hour every day
Conspiracy nightmares forever
Intolerance is the only goal
A turd in every corner
Three word chants celebrating hate
Are shouted over and over and over

Two Zero Two Two
What the fuck are you gonna do?!
Two Zero Two Two
I don’t know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
Fuck
What am I gonna do?

I’m frozen in familiar unease
Each and every fucking day
There's nothing calm or reassuring
It's just a dark malaise
I should stand in the street and scream
I should misbehave
But I’m not articulate or strong, no
Mostly I’m just afraid
I don’t know, I don't know
The modern age is a gift to dunces
The loudest in the room
No impulse is too absurd
To lead us to our doom
Has it always been this way?
Is this just the truth?
Am I the one who has it all figured out,
Or am I just another fool?

Two Zero Two Two
What next are we going through?!
Two Zero Two Two
I don’t know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
What am I gonna do?

Brace Yourself - Night Sky

The dancing light in your brown eyes
Just about dazzled me blind
When you whispered in my ear
Lost my balance spilled my beer

Baby brace yourself, I’m steady now

Ain’t talking bout fine poetry
Subtle lines mean nothing to me
But those magic words you said
Lit a fire in my head

Baby brace yourself, I’m burning now

Whispered dreams
Nighttime schemes
Whispered dreams
Bring me to my knees

The dancing light in your brown eyes
Just about dazzled me blind
When you whispered in my ear
Lost my balance spilled my beer

Baby brace yourself, I’m steady now
Baby brace yourself, I’m ready now

Brace Yourself
Robyn Mackenzie

I'm leading the charge
I'm landing on mars
I'm living the future

Got sun in my eyes
But I can't touch the sky
The feeling is mutual

And I hear the voices of time saying

There's a change in the wind, brace yourself, brace yourself
For the dragon in his lair with his poisonous wealth
And the knights in black armor have risen from Hell
Oh, oh
Brace yourself

I'm right and I'm wrong
I'm here and I'm gone
I'm singing to Jesus

My mind is in flames
I'm playing your games
I'm falling to pieces

And I hear the voices of time saying

There's a change in the wind, brace yourself, brace yourself
For the dragon in his lair with his poisonous wealth
And the knights in black armor have risen from Hell
Oh, oh
Brace yourself

There's a change in the wind, brace yourself, brace yourself
For the dragon in his lair with his poisonous wealth
And the knights in black armor have risen from Hell
Oh, oh
Brace yourself (brace yourself, brace yourself)
Brace yourself (brace yourself, brace yourself)
Brace yourself (brace yourself, brace yourself)

Brace Yourself
by Jon Porobil

It takes you by surprise every day
When dusk turns all colors to gray
The tide of sleep sweeps you away
Before you can brace yourself

It seeps under cracks in your doors
Gets under your skin through your pores
The subtle encroachment of war
Before you can brace yourself

Fire burns up as it warms you
And smolders after it’s gone
Remember - It’s not when the light goes out,
But what you do when it’s on

Once you made wonderful plans
Yeah, you cupped the moon in your hands
Then dropped it for daily demands
Before you could brace yourself

Fire burns up as it warms you
And smolders after it’s gone
Remember - It’s not when the light goes out,
But what you do while it’s on
While it’s on

Everyone knows
Everyone knows the light will go out
But no one knows when
No one knows when until it’s too late
Don’t waste your time
Stop wasting your time

A bear doesn’t need to be brave
To sleep for six months in a cave
Imagine the time that you saved
When you could have braced yourself

Fire burns up as it warms you
And smolders after it’s gone
Remember - It’s not when the light goes out,
But what you do while it’s on

Fire burns up as it warms you
And smolders after you’re gone
Remember - it’s not when the light goes out
But what you do while it’s on

So brace yourself
Brace yourself
Embrace yourself

Brace Yourself - Brown Word and the Big Whine

Battered by sea
Batten down the hatches
Danger in your eyes
As the storms gather

Brace yourself
Come to expect the unexpected
Brace yourself

Lashed by the wind
Steadfast stand your ground
Fire in your eyes
As the gales compound

Brace yourself
Come to expect the unexpected
Brace yourself

In the eye of the hurricane
And cannot hear a sound
Our hero stands against the sky
The enemy surrounds

Shaken by the earth
The mountains disappear
Power in your eyes
Raise your mighty shield

Brace yourself
Come to expect the unexpected
Brace yourself

Berkeley Social Scene

Intro: Dm Am G G x2

Verse: Dm Am G G x4
You’ve got a lot of nerve to act the way you do
It take a lot of effort to be so unconcerned
It takes an act of faith to walk upon the moon
So little time before we lose the things we learned


C Em x2
Brace Yourself
Brace Yourself
Brace Yourself
Brace Yourself
F G

Intro
Verse2
Don’t waste a day, don’t waste a breath on little things
You’ve got to feel the sunlight deeply when you sing
You’ve got to hold your head up high and spread your wings
So little time before winter turns to spring


Am C G F x4
Hold on

Fm Em Em

Solo over Verse x4

C Em x4
F Fm

End on C

Brace Yourself - Idle Susan

It's been another year. It's time for festive cheer again.
Santa load up your sleigh. You'll be on your way.
But before you go. There's something that you should know about,
the kids of today. Hold on, I got something to say.
They're out of control. Most of them should be getting coal.

Brace yourself, for the ugly truth.
Kids just want a playstation, not a tangerine or a baby ruth.
I'm your christmas elf, making festive socks.
They don't want what you've got to give, they just want to tik tok.

Putting up the tree, Santa needs to go on a shopping spree.
Don't want no stocking, want the DLC for animal crossing.
Mum's making sausage rolls, while they're giving up their souls again.
Could you help with the pastry. You're all looking a little bit pasty.
You haven't seen the sun. Most of you need a kick up the bum.

Brace yourself, for the ugly truth.
Kids just want a playstation, not a tangerine or a baby ruth.
I'm your christmas elf, making encyclopedias.
They don't want what you've got to give, they want to get their facts from social media.
They talk about mental health, and climate change.
What about good old fossil fuels, traded on the stock exchange.
She doesn't want that classic barbie, she just wants an NFT, of a
monkey that's smoking, you've got to be joking, realistically I'm pretty sure he'd be choking.

Mum's cooking the ham, she's drinking babycham.
Kid's gone wild, posting pictures of their dinner on instagram.
She won't pull her cracker, she's living with a fifty two year old backpacker.
What's wrong with my turkey you heathen? What do you mean you're turning vegan?!!

Brace Yourself - Jeff DeSantis

We can’t live forever
Not the way that we're made
we're as strong as the next guy
But we're designed to degrade

6 out of 10 of us are broken
Like it’s part of the plan
One out 4 of us ain’t wired right
But we do the best that we can

And our cover stories
Are just bits of
truth mixing into the lies
And most of us manage to move on
While parts of us die

This time together
Is the blink of an eye
We were born to unravel
And taught to not ask why

And yet we still look for the moments
When the
bad is outweighed by the good
And if we don’t remember to do that
We probably should

So tell someone you love them
Live the time you got left
Cause if you think you have forever
Then brace yourself